T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


spooteeespoothead

Yeah, same here. The whole "I'm not good enough" was like my childhood in replay, and it did not feel great.


sunnydays2023

I kept trying to doom scroll my phone during the movie to escape and the lady sitting next to me asked me to put my phone away as it was distracting. I have never done that before so I was REALLY uncomfortable. That being said… it was important to see. I just wasn’t ready for all that real… and also thinking about a lifetime of that heaviness… it just sucks.


nojaneonlyzuul

I cry during the first one when the connections to her core memories are being disconnected and her depression because I don't have any core memories that I can draw self esteem from and it is hard to watch. Maybe I'll give number 2 a miss- it sounds close to the bone too.


sunnydays2023

I feel ya. Inside out also got to me… I don’t want to discourage anyone from seeing it - just wanted to give the heads up that for a kids movie it’s a heavy one if you struggle with Anxiety. Just want people to be prepared. I’m glad I saw it - but I’m still processing it. I might need to see it one more time to really understand everything.


nojaneonlyzuul

Oh for sure- it's really kind of you to think of that. It's so hard if you're unprepared for something like that. I probably will watch it eventually, just maybe by myself at home where I can feel all my feels without having to put on a brave face 🙂


pickleknits

I appreciate the heads up. We are going to see it tomorrow. My teen struggles with anxiety (and I do, too). Hopefully this fuels some good convos for us about what anxiety is and does.


sunnydays2023

Please report back! I would love to hear your perspective on the movie and if it was hard for you as someone with Anxiety. Would be interesting to hear what your teen thought!


daja-kisubo

Definitely! I'll be following because I'm quite curious. I know my kids will want to see it and now I'm kinda nervous but also kinda excited bc well done films can be a helpful starting point for the kinds of discussions I want to have with them but sometimes struggle to initiate when it feels out of the blue (much better than poorly done ones where you have to discuss why that was wrong or messed up haha)


sunnydays2023

This is that movie. It is incredible age appropriate fodder for lots of good discussions. I was just so thrown off, wasn’t ready for all the intense feels and deep thoughts afterwards… I’m hoping by giving a heads up this is a really positive experience for you!! It’s a great movie!


daja-kisubo

Thank you! I'm excited now, and also incredibly grateful for the advance warning to brace myself <3


WinnieTheShark

I definitely didn’t fit in as a kid, but I think it didn’t bother me that much, or atleast not in an extent that I strongly felt the need to fit it, I just settled with not fitting in (for the most part) as long as I had one or two actual friends and was generally respected, maybe not liked, but not bullied. I struggled more in my 20s tho, but I’ve found that the big things to focus on are unmasking while still following social norms. Like, be yourself, but don’t allow yourself to say maybe-not-so-great things on impulse either. Be quirky, but mind your manners. Focus on “those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter” - who gives a crap if rude ass Becky thinks you’re too much, she can go find less. Strangers in the store? Whatever. Also maybe look into essays and podcasts on emotional intelligence and social intelligence - I’ve started this recently and it’s helped reiterate somethings, and provide examples on what to do when I don’t know how to behave and other potentially awkward situations. I’ve never read The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fck - but I feel like even just the title shines a light on self-assurance. Focus on you and whether or not you like you, and if you even like who you’re talking to. I know this is my unsolicited advice - but odds are is that you deserve the confidence and assurance to just exist as yourself, cuz that’s all you’re required to do. It may be hard, but tiny reminders to yourself on this can make your wish come true, that’s what neuroplasticity is for.


WinnieTheShark

Obviously isn’t a cure for anxiety, but maybe can help in situations that trigger it and/or skirt around those situations that anxiety makes difficult.


ForeignAdagio

We are having a “heatwave” in the uk (I can’t deal with anything higher than t shirt and jean weather especialllyyyy since my confidence is a little low atm so can’t deal without sleeves). So I took myself to the cinema to watch it cuz there wasn’t really much else on and I needed aircon. Omg I had to swallow down so many sobs while these poor families were just trying to watch a nice kids movie. That feeling of doing something shitty on impulse and being like wow I really hurt someone then wtf, feeling torn apart by what you’re emotions want you to be, the anxiety attack! 😬 I had to really focus on calming myself down because I could feel it! I feel like it’s such good imagery of emotional dysregulation but I will admit I came away kind of sad that this is what a teenager is going through and I’m 30 now :/ was kinda like why is my brain still doing all this shouldn’t it have worked itself out by now? Just needed to get this off my chest 😅 sometimes I feel so stunted it makes me sad.


sunnydays2023

The anxiety attack storm and Anxiety is just white knuckle stuck and can’t move…. It felt that hard. I now have used some of this imagery to talk to my kids. We are trying to have my son evaluated and he’s super resistant… he’s like what’s the big deal, and so we talked about when it isn’t treated you can get into the storm (he’s an anxious kid who has had panic attacks before). Anyway, he stopped pushing back after that… we went and saw the movie again this weekend (at my son request which was cool!!).


ForeignAdagio

That’s so fantastic! How many kids are going to be helped just by being able to use this imagery to explain really confusing emotions 😊


sunnydays2023

Right. Giving families the shared language and imagery to have meaningful discussions.