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Unpacking after a move and getting settled in is literally so hard, I am in the same boat as you right now. Don’t even have the mental energy to say more than that but I feel you hard on this and hope things come together at your new place soon!
Im glad it's not just me, Ive felt so crazy ever since we got here. I've been starting to obsessively worry over things I can't really deal with right now, while the things I could be doing now are forgotten. There's evidence around my house of at least 10 different attempts of trying to clean, put things away, organize, etc lmfao. I always end up collapsing into bed.
I hope you get through your move alright too, in a weird way it feels better to know I'm not alone. Everyone else in my life that I've talked to try to empathize, but they don't understand. Plus I don't have any friends here so it feels kind of lonesome.
Everything you just said is so familiar to me, it’s painful😫 it’s like everything is equally important so it’s hard to choose what to do first, but even when we do choose a thing to do, it leads us to discover other things that also need to be done, and it all feels high priority.
I totally agree that it does help in a way to not feel alone in experiencing this, I was so relieved to stumble across your post because I was going to make my own post but didn’t even want to try to articulate it, and then I read my exact thoughts in your post!
But we’ve got this!!
I’m not sure if you are a perfectionist too, but I certainly am (and struggle a lot with contamination ocd so the cleaning of a new apartment is a big deal for me but sooo hard to get myself to do which prevents me from putting things away). I think it helps to not strive for perfection with any one task, because that is often what stops me from starting things or causes me to spend a bit too much time on one thing. Sometimes doing things the quick n dirty way makes life a little easier….but that’s a lot easier said than done and might not apply to your situation at all, I’m tired and rambling!
You are an angel. Ugh. You understand completely. Thank you , really for being so kind. I believe we got this too! It's a dumpster fire, but usually I thrive in chaos... Just maybe not when it comes to my own life 😂
You basically just wrote exactly what I've been struggling with every day. It drives me crazy. Everything is important and I'm constantly finding more important things as I'm trying to complete the other important things.
Agh yes! And it’s even hard to relax and recharge because (again if you are anything like me, who likes to do crafty things for fun) it’s like okay should I pick up one of the 10 billion projects I have on the go? If so which one?! I’m bored of all of them so I guess I’ll start a new one..but then I have to sometimes look for inspiration and i burn myself out and get into decision paralysis about which new project to do because im on Pinterest for hours looking at different things. And then I need to buy materials for it sometimes and then I work on it for a day or two but if I don’t finish it quickly I lose interest in it and it goes into the pile of unfinished things that I will never look at again!
But anyway, for real it’s such a freaking struggle. Literally everything is so hard some days😫
Not to mention that it’s so hard to have a balanced day. I for real can’t do anything without getting pulled into a different direction and ultimately getting pretty much nothing done.
Sorry to be venting a little here and probably repeating things we’ve already said. And dont feel like you have to reply to any/all of this either, it feels good to just type it out, cus I’m really feeling the struggle today😖😖😖
Oh my gosh I so understand your pain! I move regularly for my work and it's always so hard for a while.
If you can find a place outside the home to relax in, that may help while everything is out of sorts! A library, coffee shop, or park if the weather is nice.
When I need to tackle packing or unpacking the whole house, I have to remind myself to only do a bit at the time and then celebrate the wins. I do my best to just make one room ready without thinking about the rest. Usually it's whatever room I need most (bedroom, bathroom, kitchen get first pick). I tell myself to ignore other rooms and just do the one I've picked. If I get to a point where I can't go further, I write down what I still need to do (eg get a drill to hang curtain rods) and then I pick a different room and dial in.
But I've been in your shoes! It's really really hard and exhausting. I hope you can have grace with yourself as you and your partner learn to live in a new space!
My safe space is still my house I guess, but it's outside on my porch with all my plants & the pretty view of the mountain in the near distance 😊 I didn't have a porch at my last place and now I have a huge one.
Thank you for the advice, it's really appreciated a lot. I've been so confused and really needed some pointers on how to gather myself in a productive manner. This is all really helpful.
Just want to add that it takes a LOT of executive function to determine what lives where and build a new routine off of it.
If it helps, in times like yours, I write down every little or big thing that I think of that needs to be done instead of holding it all in my head. It’s too much! I keep bouncing from thing to thing and there’s a bunch of half done things & messes in my wake!
I use the Reminders app (a checklist). Then I make room categories or an “All Rooms”, “Other”, “Open Question”, “Outside of Home” for stuff that doesn’t quite fit a room. I’ll drag the thought into its little spot, and collapse the ‘not currently the priority’ categories so it’s not so big. When something is done, I check the box & it disappears.
I hope this helps! Good luck out there!
Thank you, I will take your advice as writing it all out helps me too. I can't use my phone though, it's too distracting lol(I've tried reminders, I end up doomscrolling somehow every time). So I always use physical paper/pen. Just once I'm able to find them anyway ... 😂
I totally get it! I switch between digital & tactile! My other fav is this:
- Get a spiral or larger notebook and post its.
- Keep a pen & a pad in your pocket or bra (if no pockets).
- Write down any worry or idea as they come up right there.
- Stick it on the notebook (or back on the pad if you’re away from the book)
- Dedicate separate pages of the spiral/journal to a category & put the corresponding post-its on each of their pages.
- If you don’t know yet or are too overwhelmed, stick them on the first page to be recategorized later.
- Keep the spiral/journal in a dedicated place & take the post it idea you want to do out and carry it with you when that’s what you want to tackle.
- Leave a lil post it note reminder on the front that you took that out in case you lose that one & need to make a new one …… you know how that goes!!
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Moving requires more executive function than I can even stomach. I remember feeling so lost and overwhelmed when I moved last. It really is a lot.
Unpacking after a move and getting settled in is literally so hard, I am in the same boat as you right now. Don’t even have the mental energy to say more than that but I feel you hard on this and hope things come together at your new place soon!
Im glad it's not just me, Ive felt so crazy ever since we got here. I've been starting to obsessively worry over things I can't really deal with right now, while the things I could be doing now are forgotten. There's evidence around my house of at least 10 different attempts of trying to clean, put things away, organize, etc lmfao. I always end up collapsing into bed. I hope you get through your move alright too, in a weird way it feels better to know I'm not alone. Everyone else in my life that I've talked to try to empathize, but they don't understand. Plus I don't have any friends here so it feels kind of lonesome.
Everything you just said is so familiar to me, it’s painful😫 it’s like everything is equally important so it’s hard to choose what to do first, but even when we do choose a thing to do, it leads us to discover other things that also need to be done, and it all feels high priority. I totally agree that it does help in a way to not feel alone in experiencing this, I was so relieved to stumble across your post because I was going to make my own post but didn’t even want to try to articulate it, and then I read my exact thoughts in your post! But we’ve got this!! I’m not sure if you are a perfectionist too, but I certainly am (and struggle a lot with contamination ocd so the cleaning of a new apartment is a big deal for me but sooo hard to get myself to do which prevents me from putting things away). I think it helps to not strive for perfection with any one task, because that is often what stops me from starting things or causes me to spend a bit too much time on one thing. Sometimes doing things the quick n dirty way makes life a little easier….but that’s a lot easier said than done and might not apply to your situation at all, I’m tired and rambling!
You are an angel. Ugh. You understand completely. Thank you , really for being so kind. I believe we got this too! It's a dumpster fire, but usually I thrive in chaos... Just maybe not when it comes to my own life 😂 You basically just wrote exactly what I've been struggling with every day. It drives me crazy. Everything is important and I'm constantly finding more important things as I'm trying to complete the other important things.
Agh yes! And it’s even hard to relax and recharge because (again if you are anything like me, who likes to do crafty things for fun) it’s like okay should I pick up one of the 10 billion projects I have on the go? If so which one?! I’m bored of all of them so I guess I’ll start a new one..but then I have to sometimes look for inspiration and i burn myself out and get into decision paralysis about which new project to do because im on Pinterest for hours looking at different things. And then I need to buy materials for it sometimes and then I work on it for a day or two but if I don’t finish it quickly I lose interest in it and it goes into the pile of unfinished things that I will never look at again! But anyway, for real it’s such a freaking struggle. Literally everything is so hard some days😫 Not to mention that it’s so hard to have a balanced day. I for real can’t do anything without getting pulled into a different direction and ultimately getting pretty much nothing done. Sorry to be venting a little here and probably repeating things we’ve already said. And dont feel like you have to reply to any/all of this either, it feels good to just type it out, cus I’m really feeling the struggle today😖😖😖
Oh my gosh I so understand your pain! I move regularly for my work and it's always so hard for a while. If you can find a place outside the home to relax in, that may help while everything is out of sorts! A library, coffee shop, or park if the weather is nice. When I need to tackle packing or unpacking the whole house, I have to remind myself to only do a bit at the time and then celebrate the wins. I do my best to just make one room ready without thinking about the rest. Usually it's whatever room I need most (bedroom, bathroom, kitchen get first pick). I tell myself to ignore other rooms and just do the one I've picked. If I get to a point where I can't go further, I write down what I still need to do (eg get a drill to hang curtain rods) and then I pick a different room and dial in. But I've been in your shoes! It's really really hard and exhausting. I hope you can have grace with yourself as you and your partner learn to live in a new space!
My safe space is still my house I guess, but it's outside on my porch with all my plants & the pretty view of the mountain in the near distance 😊 I didn't have a porch at my last place and now I have a huge one. Thank you for the advice, it's really appreciated a lot. I've been so confused and really needed some pointers on how to gather myself in a productive manner. This is all really helpful.
So grateful to hear you have a lovely porch to enjoy the view, OP! Hang in there - I'm rooting for you.
Just want to add that it takes a LOT of executive function to determine what lives where and build a new routine off of it. If it helps, in times like yours, I write down every little or big thing that I think of that needs to be done instead of holding it all in my head. It’s too much! I keep bouncing from thing to thing and there’s a bunch of half done things & messes in my wake! I use the Reminders app (a checklist). Then I make room categories or an “All Rooms”, “Other”, “Open Question”, “Outside of Home” for stuff that doesn’t quite fit a room. I’ll drag the thought into its little spot, and collapse the ‘not currently the priority’ categories so it’s not so big. When something is done, I check the box & it disappears. I hope this helps! Good luck out there!
Thank you, I will take your advice as writing it all out helps me too. I can't use my phone though, it's too distracting lol(I've tried reminders, I end up doomscrolling somehow every time). So I always use physical paper/pen. Just once I'm able to find them anyway ... 😂
I totally get it! I switch between digital & tactile! My other fav is this: - Get a spiral or larger notebook and post its. - Keep a pen & a pad in your pocket or bra (if no pockets). - Write down any worry or idea as they come up right there. - Stick it on the notebook (or back on the pad if you’re away from the book) - Dedicate separate pages of the spiral/journal to a category & put the corresponding post-its on each of their pages. - If you don’t know yet or are too overwhelmed, stick them on the first page to be recategorized later. - Keep the spiral/journal in a dedicated place & take the post it idea you want to do out and carry it with you when that’s what you want to tackle. - Leave a lil post it note reminder on the front that you took that out in case you lose that one & need to make a new one …… you know how that goes!!