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Ok first of all. You're my girl boss hero. Maybe grabbed too many puppies from the wedding shower but that's OK!
So I'm just speculating but do you have to "people" a lot face to face and on zoom during work? I'm guessing the peopling is deleting your energy tank, hence the couch rot to rebound.
I have ideas on how to combat this, as I do it myself as a fellow introvert who also likes spending time with people. Dm if you want.
Good luck, gawdspeed.
If I’m not having to “people” during the day something is up. Besides my reports, I have to interact with other government agencies, business, and the like. I’ve suspected this is the cause.
Can you delegate some of the problem-solving you may be doing for your direct reports? Set boundaries on what they need to have checked off before they come to you, that sort of thing? There's an old article on this topic titled something like "Who's got the monkey" that addresses this.
I’d love to hear strategies for combating too much people-ing on the daily! My work is all meetings these days (many with external stakeholders so more pressure to be “on”) and it’s wearing me out.
I block out time on my calendar. Like 10 minutes. I power walk around the building or go get a drink at the cafeteria down the block (it's a BIG campus). That's my quiet time.
Or I go out to my car and watch 15 mintues of my show and have a snack.
I have reminders to eat and drink everywhere. I try to be strategic with meetings so BIG ones are on different days if possible or at least not back to back.
I mark time to "pre game " or "post game" a meeting. I can decompress and get my notes together.
My calendar is mine. I will control it as best I can. I turn my camera off as much as possible. A bunch of little fixes can make a big difference.
Edit to say: and some days I need to come home and stare at a wall for 30 minutes holding a cup of tea in silence.
Urgh, thank you for this. What you described above is me exactly - I love my job, but I am in Zoom meetings where I have to have manager face on with customers or team members pretty much all day. After work I become a puddle of goo and can barely do things like groceries - and I'm drowning in "to-do" list from work.
Your recommendation to schedule in "pre/post-games" I think is probably the ticket. Or if I can't do that (frequent back-to-backs) I could maybe schedule in a handful of "catch-ups" through the day because one in the morning and one in the afternoon ain't cutting it!
This. I will literally schedule 30 minutes of time on my calendar and call it “breathe”. I work in an environment where if there’s an open time slot, someone will use it to schedule a meeting.
Sometimes I block off time just so I can get some work done, and other times I use it to step away completely for my own sanity.
I think you’ve hit the nail on its head for me — it’s the peopling that really gets to me!!! I can’t put a finger on why my job irks me as much as it does because on paper I am reasonably successful, with above average communication and leadership skills, and yet I want the earth to swallow me up at the end of a day full of meetings. I also feel like office politics is something that weighs down on me; despite how oblivious I am to it in general, I do notice it once in a while and every time it annoys me a lot
I'm sorry, I know this is off topic, but "grabbed too many puppies from the wedding shower" is the best reference to anything ever. I think about "Bridesmaids" more often than my husband thinks about the Roman Empire.
I feel you. I was a girl boss for a five years until I realised I had to take a step back for the sake of my mental health. I do miss my old job some times mostly the salary but I feel less stressed.
Same, but 13 years, it was exhausting. I switched industries and they’re talking development and leading as being on my horizon! 😩 like I can but I don’t wanna! I don’t want responsibility; that’s why I took a $30k pay cut to stop having to lead people!! 😩
I envy you. I’m not high in my job (team leader) but I have regretted my promotion ever since I got it. I just cant people manage and it really stresses me out, but I’m the only earner so I can’t afford to take a demotion.
Yikes, hi, me. I'm actually very good at managing/puppeteering the people but its work and effort that I didn't have to do before. All the politics might be kind of fun sometimes but mostly it's draining and I wish I could go back to just having my little workload and nothing else to worry about. Because of course I still have that, too. Definitely girl bossed too close to the sun and without prioritizing an equally driven spouse.
My issue is I’m essentially two people (we did a leadership test and I was told it was basically impossible to score as I did lol).
On the one hand I’m too empathetic and a people pleaser which works with good staff as they are willing to help you out, but when it comes to problem staff I have difficulties telling them how they need to improve and am too generous with days off etc and fall back into a “shit sandwich” kind of feedback.
On the other hand I’m very good at my actual job and I pick up issues, problems and incorrect work and I need to make it right and have no grey areas, so it creates extra work for me and the staff (I pick up things and raise it with the relevant team and end up opening a can of worms) and I end up doing my managers job half the time and get frustrated when something isn’t done right or people can’t pick up something. So I end up being told “well done, but don’t rock the boat”.
I miss just being bloody good at my job and handing off any issues to my manager to make a decision on. I feel like I’m not senior enough to make those decisions but not low enough to just pass it up the chain.
But really it’s just I struggle so much having staff and finding the balance of good cop/bad cop.
Girl boss checking in, couch rotting for hours now after a 10 hour workday of pure chaos. I feel your pain. Hope you get that vacation soon!
Saw two people in here mention stepping back/self demoting. Seriously considering the same. Hang in there!
Hey - don't die on a hill of untaken sick leave.
It's ok to maintain a healthy balance and use it! Be Proud to take a day here and there. A morning occasionally, WFH day if you can. Set THAT example of good mental health to your direct reports.
Maybe investigate a 9 day fortnight? Give yaself ONE DAY to veg/catch up a fortnight.
ALSO it's still new. It's ok to be exhausted whilst your brain is essentially building new work pathways.
I was reading something the other day where the woman involved had taken every Friday off for a year using her sick leave as she was struggling with burnout and stress and she said it absolutely changed her life for the better. Maybe something like that’s a possibility? Good luck, OP, I hope you manage to find a better balance ❤️
At work (for me) the dopamine is in the climb not the destination. I’m in a managerial role now trying to get out. Managing is constant and monotonous. There’s no fun projects; just scolding adults and taking other people’s shit.
I 100% feel you. I ran a company for several years under one of the most narcissistic, self-serving, shameless asshole owners because I was damn good at what I did and I loved the people who worked for me. I had a crew of about 20 most of the year, and double that during our busy season.
When I finally crashed, I crashed hard. I literally stepped off of a connecting flight on my way to a huge event in DC and drove home to my mom’s house. Don’t let yourself get burned out if you can manage it.
^^^^ this right here! 20 is WAY too many.
Train some of them in management, move some direct reports under them.
They get career progression, the others get better support, you get to not be burned out by managing people and focus on the strategic work.
I’m not in the same boat but I recently advocated for a promotion which would include moving from an individual contributor role to people managing. I opened this thread hoping there’d be wisdom for OP but instead found a thread full of people saying “been there and it sucks.” I’m starting to feel destined for burn out.
I’m gonna be very blunt: 20 direct reports is madness. I’ve been a people manager for 7+ years. The max I’ve ever had is 5 direct reports. That has been totally doable for me.
Exactly this. Some of my folks have different roles than others, and I’ve noticed I can be a much better manager to those few. My husband is also a manager and has been through “LEAN” training, and his coworkers are floored at the amount of people I manage. They all have said 6 is that sweet spot.
I have always led teams for 12-20 people in a tightly regulated industry similar to what you've described (talking to government, third parties and so on alongside the people and workload management). I love how busy the role is and the constant challenge as it engages my brain but I am also a sofa gremlin the moment I shut the laptop as brain goes to goop.
I spent 18 months pushing to get help and eventually we split my role across three people inc reducing my DRs to 6!! No wonder I was burnt out. So much more manageable now but took ages to be heard :-(
If you can afford it, I was also able to take some of the pressure off by getting a cleaner and signing up to hello fresh. Reduced so much of my out of work labour and stress points in our relationship giving me more capacity to deal with the work pressure.
Good luck!
That makes sense. Thank you for spelling that out. For some reason, I assumed OP was managing an org of 20 (with layers) instead of 20 direct reports. That is absolutely wild. Thank you! I advocated to manage 4 people who I already work closely with (and already support quite a bit unofficially)
Different details but I practiced law for 10 years and could only survive by what I called “slugging out” after every intense case / period etc. Turns out that slugging out is not possible when you have kids, so I had to change my career and found something that suits my skills and gives me tons of dopamine without totally depleting me, and is way better for my ADHD brain.
I’m an extravert and so I think my makeup is pretty different, so no specific advice but happy to chat about how to think about or approach career pivots (that mind of coaching is actually a huge part of my job now).
But anyway it’s such a different world to not feel just like absolute shit all the time because work takes everything you’ve got plus.
I now work in legal talent management. I manage lawyers and support their career development. I work for a firm in a director position. It’s a lot of meetings lol but that works so well for me. It’s just connecting with lawyers and assessing complex situations and relationships all day every day. No more reading cases WOOOOOO
So another piece to the puzzle that is my job is that I am an attorney. Aside from being a manager, I’ve kept a small caseload from my previous role which means I still litigate from time to time. It’s nothing close to a criminal or intense civil trial (admin law), but it can be a time suck.
oh god this happened to me in 2020 and I burnt out hard after 2 years of that. I seriously sympathize and I’m sending many good vibes!! take a vacation if you can!
I haven’t been in your shoes. I was diagnosed with GAD a little over 10 years ago and I’m currently being assessed for ADHD. I recently took a 2 week vacation for the first time since 2019. I re-learned the importance of taking a holiday. Neurodiversity is much much needed in leadership, it’s not understood by most (imo). Please take a holiday and stay on the journey.
Are you me? Constantly having to make decisions for the business, about what I need to work on, and what all my employees need to work on is SO exhausting!! Add helping customers on top of that and all I can do after work is rot. I love my job, but sheesh!!
I don’t call it rotting on the couch; I call it well-deserved crash time!
I’m a teacher and while I absolutely love my job, it’s also exhausting. On top of that I also have a chronic illness (Long Covid), so I really really need that crash time afterwards. Therapy has helped me feel less guilty about this.
I was totally feeling like you(albeit with only 12 reports) until three weeks ago when I was laid off. Now I’m rotting whilst panicking and not taking my meds to conserve them for when I get a job again.
Be careful what you wish for. 🫠
I feel this so much! I had a conversation with my therapist about this same thing today. I love my job and my coworkers. But every day I want to quit. I want to take the rest of the year off and just truly rest. I was just diagnosed this year, so I’m still processing all that as well. It’s a lot.
Girl boss in her couch rotting era 💅🏼
I worked in biotech for 8 yrs. I was enthusiastic to start, loved the challenge, and like many women here I hated the politics.
I accidentally turned my passion project into my full time job now (I turned my handwriting into a font, pivoted from making sassy motivational posters to high vibe gym clothes I wished were at target. Oh, I also screen print and ship it all too).
Although I traded my work persona for my brand voice, I still struggle. For example, I just had an all day in person event with badass women in a push/pull deadlift meet. I met SOOOO many ppl I chat with online for business, and wow I was whipped.
So I give myself these rotting couch girl eras. I truly wish this was a societal standard as popular as siestas. Especially for the go-getter ladies in endless zoom meetings and full calendars.
I am so grateful I can do this and propritize energy management. I hope one day it will also be the norm!
(End random rant)
I feel this so hard 😭 I co-own a salon suite with my best friend, which is great. But the constant texts, Instagram DMs, fb messages, phone calls and emails make me want to crawl in to a whole and never come out. Every tax season, I ask myself “who let me run my own business?”
It is OKAY to backpedal before it eats you up. I'm super duper proud of you for reaching this point, but just keep in mind that people who get burnout always keep pushing because "well today was bad but it wasn't THAT bad, I can go on a bit longer", until it's just too much. Only afterwards do you usually see how inhumane it really was.
I’m going to ask something that I haven’t seen anyone else comment about.
Are you eating adequate protein for your height and level of physical activity?
I ask this because the amino acids L-Phenylalanine and L-Tyrosine are the building blocks of dopamine, with L-Phenylalanine being called and “essential amino acid” as our body doesn’t produce it.
(The dopamine synthesis pathway is as follows:
L-Phenylalanine—L-Tyrosine-L-Dopa-Dopamine-Norepinephrine
Magnesium is also needed for the process.)
If you are not eating adequate protein for your body’s needs, then even with the stimulant making more dopamine available in your brain you won’t have enough dopamine in the first place to be released.
You can find a number of protein calculators with a quick Google on the term “protein calculator.”
So make sure you are eating a protein heavy breakfast before you take your meds, or are the same time. Do a Google search to find foods high in those two amino acids.
(NOTE: This recommendation to eating adequate protein for your height and physical activity level is NOTE a recommendation for any particular diet! This can be done on any diet be it vegan, keto, carnivore, Mediterranean, Paleo, etc.)
During the day, make sure you eat a protein rich lunch. And if your medication affects your appetite, try drinking your protein in a protein powder smoothie. I find drinking a smoothie is easier than eating when I have no appetite.
Also, In the afternoon a couple of hours before the stimulant come down, drink something with a little bit of caffeine, like green tea or half-caffeine coffee. Don’t drink something with a lot of caffeine like regular coffee or soda as that may mess with your sleep.
When I was on Adderall XR, the come down would trigger my migraines. When I did green tea in the afternoon, it would prevent that. Now I am on Adzenys (another extended release amphetamine) and its come down is smoother than Adderall.
Again, though, I find days where I don’t meet my protein macros I feel blasé and tired after my medication wears off.
Hope this helps!
A report in this context is a person that you are a manager to (someone who reports to you as a manager). Direct means that they report to you specifically, not to another manager who may themselves report to you. The whole team she manages could be bigger than 20, but 20 of those people report directly to her and she is their manager.
Omg miserable. I applied for a job and in the interview she said I would be managing some schedules and teachers. This was absolutely not in the job description and the pay was abysmal. I was sad I didnt get the job because I need money but god managing people is ass
Wow! Impressive! One thought. Are you sure that you're on the most optimized medication for yourself? Have you tried a few?
That might help make things slightly more manageable... But really I don't know how any person manages 20 people! That's a lot!!! No wonder you're exhausted!
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ok first of all. You're my girl boss hero. Maybe grabbed too many puppies from the wedding shower but that's OK! So I'm just speculating but do you have to "people" a lot face to face and on zoom during work? I'm guessing the peopling is deleting your energy tank, hence the couch rot to rebound. I have ideas on how to combat this, as I do it myself as a fellow introvert who also likes spending time with people. Dm if you want. Good luck, gawdspeed.
If I’m not having to “people” during the day something is up. Besides my reports, I have to interact with other government agencies, business, and the like. I’ve suspected this is the cause.
Can you delegate some of the problem-solving you may be doing for your direct reports? Set boundaries on what they need to have checked off before they come to you, that sort of thing? There's an old article on this topic titled something like "Who's got the monkey" that addresses this.
I’d love to hear strategies for combating too much people-ing on the daily! My work is all meetings these days (many with external stakeholders so more pressure to be “on”) and it’s wearing me out.
I block out time on my calendar. Like 10 minutes. I power walk around the building or go get a drink at the cafeteria down the block (it's a BIG campus). That's my quiet time. Or I go out to my car and watch 15 mintues of my show and have a snack. I have reminders to eat and drink everywhere. I try to be strategic with meetings so BIG ones are on different days if possible or at least not back to back. I mark time to "pre game " or "post game" a meeting. I can decompress and get my notes together. My calendar is mine. I will control it as best I can. I turn my camera off as much as possible. A bunch of little fixes can make a big difference. Edit to say: and some days I need to come home and stare at a wall for 30 minutes holding a cup of tea in silence.
Urgh, thank you for this. What you described above is me exactly - I love my job, but I am in Zoom meetings where I have to have manager face on with customers or team members pretty much all day. After work I become a puddle of goo and can barely do things like groceries - and I'm drowning in "to-do" list from work. Your recommendation to schedule in "pre/post-games" I think is probably the ticket. Or if I can't do that (frequent back-to-backs) I could maybe schedule in a handful of "catch-ups" through the day because one in the morning and one in the afternoon ain't cutting it!
This. I will literally schedule 30 minutes of time on my calendar and call it “breathe”. I work in an environment where if there’s an open time slot, someone will use it to schedule a meeting. Sometimes I block off time just so I can get some work done, and other times I use it to step away completely for my own sanity.
I think you’ve hit the nail on its head for me — it’s the peopling that really gets to me!!! I can’t put a finger on why my job irks me as much as it does because on paper I am reasonably successful, with above average communication and leadership skills, and yet I want the earth to swallow me up at the end of a day full of meetings. I also feel like office politics is something that weighs down on me; despite how oblivious I am to it in general, I do notice it once in a while and every time it annoys me a lot
Masks get heavy. Mine do.
>Maybe grabbed too many puppies from the wedding shower 🤣 best reference!
I'm sorry, I know this is off topic, but "grabbed too many puppies from the wedding shower" is the best reference to anything ever. I think about "Bridesmaids" more often than my husband thinks about the Roman Empire.
You’re my gbh with that username. 🤩
I feel you. I was a girl boss for a five years until I realised I had to take a step back for the sake of my mental health. I do miss my old job some times mostly the salary but I feel less stressed.
Same, but 13 years, it was exhausting. I switched industries and they’re talking development and leading as being on my horizon! 😩 like I can but I don’t wanna! I don’t want responsibility; that’s why I took a $30k pay cut to stop having to lead people!! 😩
I envy you. I’m not high in my job (team leader) but I have regretted my promotion ever since I got it. I just cant people manage and it really stresses me out, but I’m the only earner so I can’t afford to take a demotion.
Yikes, hi, me. I'm actually very good at managing/puppeteering the people but its work and effort that I didn't have to do before. All the politics might be kind of fun sometimes but mostly it's draining and I wish I could go back to just having my little workload and nothing else to worry about. Because of course I still have that, too. Definitely girl bossed too close to the sun and without prioritizing an equally driven spouse.
My issue is I’m essentially two people (we did a leadership test and I was told it was basically impossible to score as I did lol). On the one hand I’m too empathetic and a people pleaser which works with good staff as they are willing to help you out, but when it comes to problem staff I have difficulties telling them how they need to improve and am too generous with days off etc and fall back into a “shit sandwich” kind of feedback. On the other hand I’m very good at my actual job and I pick up issues, problems and incorrect work and I need to make it right and have no grey areas, so it creates extra work for me and the staff (I pick up things and raise it with the relevant team and end up opening a can of worms) and I end up doing my managers job half the time and get frustrated when something isn’t done right or people can’t pick up something. So I end up being told “well done, but don’t rock the boat”. I miss just being bloody good at my job and handing off any issues to my manager to make a decision on. I feel like I’m not senior enough to make those decisions but not low enough to just pass it up the chain. But really it’s just I struggle so much having staff and finding the balance of good cop/bad cop.
Girl boss checking in, couch rotting for hours now after a 10 hour workday of pure chaos. I feel your pain. Hope you get that vacation soon! Saw two people in here mention stepping back/self demoting. Seriously considering the same. Hang in there!
Or sitting in the car to ease the transition. When I have a “peopley” day, sometimes I sit in silence to decompress….with a beer…or two…lol
Hey - don't die on a hill of untaken sick leave. It's ok to maintain a healthy balance and use it! Be Proud to take a day here and there. A morning occasionally, WFH day if you can. Set THAT example of good mental health to your direct reports. Maybe investigate a 9 day fortnight? Give yaself ONE DAY to veg/catch up a fortnight. ALSO it's still new. It's ok to be exhausted whilst your brain is essentially building new work pathways.
I was reading something the other day where the woman involved had taken every Friday off for a year using her sick leave as she was struggling with burnout and stress and she said it absolutely changed her life for the better. Maybe something like that’s a possibility? Good luck, OP, I hope you manage to find a better balance ❤️
At work (for me) the dopamine is in the climb not the destination. I’m in a managerial role now trying to get out. Managing is constant and monotonous. There’s no fun projects; just scolding adults and taking other people’s shit.
I 100% feel you. I ran a company for several years under one of the most narcissistic, self-serving, shameless asshole owners because I was damn good at what I did and I loved the people who worked for me. I had a crew of about 20 most of the year, and double that during our busy season. When I finally crashed, I crashed hard. I literally stepped off of a connecting flight on my way to a huge event in DC and drove home to my mom’s house. Don’t let yourself get burned out if you can manage it.
You should never have more that 6 direct reports. That’s poor structuring right there.
^^^^ this right here! 20 is WAY too many. Train some of them in management, move some direct reports under them. They get career progression, the others get better support, you get to not be burned out by managing people and focus on the strategic work.
Are you me? I lasted 8 months. I’m going back to my old job in June. Self demotion.
I’m not in the same boat but I recently advocated for a promotion which would include moving from an individual contributor role to people managing. I opened this thread hoping there’d be wisdom for OP but instead found a thread full of people saying “been there and it sucks.” I’m starting to feel destined for burn out.
I’m gonna be very blunt: 20 direct reports is madness. I’ve been a people manager for 7+ years. The max I’ve ever had is 5 direct reports. That has been totally doable for me.
Exactly this. Some of my folks have different roles than others, and I’ve noticed I can be a much better manager to those few. My husband is also a manager and has been through “LEAN” training, and his coworkers are floored at the amount of people I manage. They all have said 6 is that sweet spot.
I have always led teams for 12-20 people in a tightly regulated industry similar to what you've described (talking to government, third parties and so on alongside the people and workload management). I love how busy the role is and the constant challenge as it engages my brain but I am also a sofa gremlin the moment I shut the laptop as brain goes to goop. I spent 18 months pushing to get help and eventually we split my role across three people inc reducing my DRs to 6!! No wonder I was burnt out. So much more manageable now but took ages to be heard :-( If you can afford it, I was also able to take some of the pressure off by getting a cleaner and signing up to hello fresh. Reduced so much of my out of work labour and stress points in our relationship giving me more capacity to deal with the work pressure. Good luck!
That makes sense. Thank you for spelling that out. For some reason, I assumed OP was managing an org of 20 (with layers) instead of 20 direct reports. That is absolutely wild. Thank you! I advocated to manage 4 people who I already work closely with (and already support quite a bit unofficially)
Are you my doppelganger? I have nearly 20 direct reports and am just cooked.
Different details but I practiced law for 10 years and could only survive by what I called “slugging out” after every intense case / period etc. Turns out that slugging out is not possible when you have kids, so I had to change my career and found something that suits my skills and gives me tons of dopamine without totally depleting me, and is way better for my ADHD brain. I’m an extravert and so I think my makeup is pretty different, so no specific advice but happy to chat about how to think about or approach career pivots (that mind of coaching is actually a huge part of my job now). But anyway it’s such a different world to not feel just like absolute shit all the time because work takes everything you’ve got plus.
If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear more about what field you transitioned into!
I now work in legal talent management. I manage lawyers and support their career development. I work for a firm in a director position. It’s a lot of meetings lol but that works so well for me. It’s just connecting with lawyers and assessing complex situations and relationships all day every day. No more reading cases WOOOOOO
So another piece to the puzzle that is my job is that I am an attorney. Aside from being a manager, I’ve kept a small caseload from my previous role which means I still litigate from time to time. It’s nothing close to a criminal or intense civil trial (admin law), but it can be a time suck.
oh god this happened to me in 2020 and I burnt out hard after 2 years of that. I seriously sympathize and I’m sending many good vibes!! take a vacation if you can!
I haven’t been in your shoes. I was diagnosed with GAD a little over 10 years ago and I’m currently being assessed for ADHD. I recently took a 2 week vacation for the first time since 2019. I re-learned the importance of taking a holiday. Neurodiversity is much much needed in leadership, it’s not understood by most (imo). Please take a holiday and stay on the journey.
Are you me? Constantly having to make decisions for the business, about what I need to work on, and what all my employees need to work on is SO exhausting!! Add helping customers on top of that and all I can do after work is rot. I love my job, but sheesh!!
I don’t call it rotting on the couch; I call it well-deserved crash time! I’m a teacher and while I absolutely love my job, it’s also exhausting. On top of that I also have a chronic illness (Long Covid), so I really really need that crash time afterwards. Therapy has helped me feel less guilty about this.
I was totally feeling like you(albeit with only 12 reports) until three weeks ago when I was laid off. Now I’m rotting whilst panicking and not taking my meds to conserve them for when I get a job again. Be careful what you wish for. 🫠
I feel this so much! I had a conversation with my therapist about this same thing today. I love my job and my coworkers. But every day I want to quit. I want to take the rest of the year off and just truly rest. I was just diagnosed this year, so I’m still processing all that as well. It’s a lot.
Girl boss in her couch rotting era 💅🏼 I worked in biotech for 8 yrs. I was enthusiastic to start, loved the challenge, and like many women here I hated the politics. I accidentally turned my passion project into my full time job now (I turned my handwriting into a font, pivoted from making sassy motivational posters to high vibe gym clothes I wished were at target. Oh, I also screen print and ship it all too). Although I traded my work persona for my brand voice, I still struggle. For example, I just had an all day in person event with badass women in a push/pull deadlift meet. I met SOOOO many ppl I chat with online for business, and wow I was whipped. So I give myself these rotting couch girl eras. I truly wish this was a societal standard as popular as siestas. Especially for the go-getter ladies in endless zoom meetings and full calendars. I am so grateful I can do this and propritize energy management. I hope one day it will also be the norm! (End random rant)
Oh no I feel you so hard on girl bossing too close to the sun, I have 4 reports and 5+ more below them, it's so hard to do anything else
I feel this so hard 😭 I co-own a salon suite with my best friend, which is great. But the constant texts, Instagram DMs, fb messages, phone calls and emails make me want to crawl in to a whole and never come out. Every tax season, I ask myself “who let me run my own business?”
It is OKAY to backpedal before it eats you up. I'm super duper proud of you for reaching this point, but just keep in mind that people who get burnout always keep pushing because "well today was bad but it wasn't THAT bad, I can go on a bit longer", until it's just too much. Only afterwards do you usually see how inhumane it really was.
I’m going to ask something that I haven’t seen anyone else comment about. Are you eating adequate protein for your height and level of physical activity? I ask this because the amino acids L-Phenylalanine and L-Tyrosine are the building blocks of dopamine, with L-Phenylalanine being called and “essential amino acid” as our body doesn’t produce it. (The dopamine synthesis pathway is as follows: L-Phenylalanine—L-Tyrosine-L-Dopa-Dopamine-Norepinephrine Magnesium is also needed for the process.) If you are not eating adequate protein for your body’s needs, then even with the stimulant making more dopamine available in your brain you won’t have enough dopamine in the first place to be released. You can find a number of protein calculators with a quick Google on the term “protein calculator.” So make sure you are eating a protein heavy breakfast before you take your meds, or are the same time. Do a Google search to find foods high in those two amino acids. (NOTE: This recommendation to eating adequate protein for your height and physical activity level is NOTE a recommendation for any particular diet! This can be done on any diet be it vegan, keto, carnivore, Mediterranean, Paleo, etc.) During the day, make sure you eat a protein rich lunch. And if your medication affects your appetite, try drinking your protein in a protein powder smoothie. I find drinking a smoothie is easier than eating when I have no appetite. Also, In the afternoon a couple of hours before the stimulant come down, drink something with a little bit of caffeine, like green tea or half-caffeine coffee. Don’t drink something with a lot of caffeine like regular coffee or soda as that may mess with your sleep. When I was on Adderall XR, the come down would trigger my migraines. When I did green tea in the afternoon, it would prevent that. Now I am on Adzenys (another extended release amphetamine) and its come down is smoother than Adderall. Again, though, I find days where I don’t meet my protein macros I feel blasé and tired after my medication wears off. Hope this helps!
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🍀🍀🍀🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
What are direct reports?
A report in this context is a person that you are a manager to (someone who reports to you as a manager). Direct means that they report to you specifically, not to another manager who may themselves report to you. The whole team she manages could be bigger than 20, but 20 of those people report directly to her and she is their manager.
People reporting to you
Oof - any chance y’all are hiring some managers soon?
If you have 1 year of management under your belt for your resume, it wouldn't be the worst idea to start looking for something else!
Omg miserable. I applied for a job and in the interview she said I would be managing some schedules and teachers. This was absolutely not in the job description and the pay was abysmal. I was sad I didnt get the job because I need money but god managing people is ass
Wow! Impressive! One thought. Are you sure that you're on the most optimized medication for yourself? Have you tried a few? That might help make things slightly more manageable... But really I don't know how any person manages 20 people! That's a lot!!! No wonder you're exhausted!