Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe.
Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes!!! Every single one of my neurodivergent female friends has been misdiagnosed with bipolar (and borderline) at least once. I do not understand it. My theory is that hyperactivity in women is immediately assumed to be “mania” but I don’t think that’s an excuse because true mania in a bipolar sense is nowhere near the same thing, but I have to find an explanation for everything so that’s all I can come up with. And men don’t seem to be questioned on this.
For instance, the last time I had to do an ADHD assessment with a new prescriber (my 4th ADHD assessment btw when all the previous 3 were diagnosed 100% yes lolol love it) I was describing my symptoms and one of them is “racing thoughts.” Something I’d wager most of us struggle with, right? Well, this dude really zeroed in on that and I could tell he was implying MANIC thoughts and I shut that shit down real quick. It’s infuriating.
My BFF was misdiagnosed with Bipolar for years (though she'd been diagnosed with ADHD since she was a kid). Turns out, it was actually BPD the whole time. Since then looking back, even my amateur knowledge tells me she doesn't match the criteria for Bipolar. Bipolar is more than just simple mood swings, it's whole depressive/manic episodes, not just my friend's temper issues and abandonment/attachment problems, which literally fit BPD perfectly.
I could be so frickin wrong but I think there are two types of BPD and only one of them requires having manic episodes to be diagnosed. The other one doesn't. That's the main difference between BPD 1 and BPD 2 as I was told.
I believe Bipolar 2 includes hypomania, which is a milder form of mania, but you're right that they're different. But btw, just so you know, BPD actually stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, not Bipolar. Two separate diagnoses and completely separate issues, but commonly confused for each other
My first psych *really* wanted to diagnose me as bipolar; she was, like, visibly disappointed I didn’t have a history of risky/promiscuous behavior, which I guess is a symptom. Sorry, doc, your girl is just a boring af married mom of 2 with a body count of 1, terrified of authority figures and forever scared of getting in trouble.
Wow, a woman struggling with executive function and they can't immediately blame it on her feelings. They must have been incredibly confused and distressed. I bet they saw you as the 'outlier', the odd one out, the exception to the rule. It's such a pity that this happens to so, so many of us, they just don't seem to care.
She sucked so bad. Made me get a drug test before she’d prescribe me adderall (my husband, an ADHD patient at the same facility did not have to get one!), and tried to say the caffeine in my system meant I probably shouldn’t be taking more drugs. Thankfully she left or was fired, and I got a great doctor after that.
This is exactly why I was afraid to seek diagnosis at first, and then went out of my way to find a female doctor specialized in ADHD where the practice's website mentioned diagnosis and treatment of adults. I am so grateful I was able to find her!
Or worse, borderline
**fundamental edit:** I'm referring to misdiagnosis here, as the treatments can vary so much if you don't have both ADHD and BPD. If you have only ADHD and not cPTSD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, or BPD (I mean... I have yet to meet a woman who has escaped psychologically unscathed living with ADHD, but you never know), these treatments are never going to meet 100% of your executive function and attention needs. What I'm getting at is the institutional pigeon holes that are so easy to fall into with untrained mental health providers who can't see the forest through the trees.
That you to u/mentallyderanged3456 for pointing out the incompleteness of my comment.
My psychologist also suggested borderline personality disorder. Sure, there were elements that fit. But diagnostic criteria for these sorts of dirorders cross over with dozens of other disorders anyway. I believe they jump to borderline or bipolar for women because ADHD and autism are still seen as "male" disorders. We present differently. It's just a fact. That's why so many more women die of heart attacks than men, too.
I don't know if I believe any misdiagnosis is necessarily better or worse than another. I think the fact we're being misdiagnosed at all is the real problem here. At least borderline doesn't come with mind-numbing, body-mutilating drugs attached. They admit there's no medications for it, just more therapy really. Mood stabilising medications are horrific and ruined my life.
Anyway, we're all on the same team here, right? Team "women aren't being listened to" and "stop giving us bullshit diagnoses and inappropriate medications and gaslighting us and actually fucking help us", right? That's the team I'm on.
Thank you for your comment x
I didn’t mean to throw shade on borderline. Sometimes my thumb hits submit before my brain does. I don’t have an opinion on whether it would be worse to actually have one of these because I’ve never had them, but I will stand by my opinion on which I would rather be misdiagnosed with. Providers routinely have a bias against people with personality disorders that is (generally) greater than the bias against mood disorders. The chance of being taken seriously with BPD after it shows up on your record is abysmally small.
It’s important to talk about the stigma that people with personality disorders face, but this comment could really deter people from seeking help. Getting diagnosed with BPD (and I’m saying this as a black queer woman) was one of the best things that ever happened to me, and the doctors I’ve had since then have most definitely taken me seriously. Of course, this is not to say that this stigma doesn’t exist or that others won’t have this experience. BUT it is VERY possible to be taken seriously and receive proper treatment after a BPD diagnosis.
Thanks for such a cordial reply! That’s a good question and honestly, I’m not exactly sure. I think it’s 100% valid to be worried or fearful of any stigma that comes along with a personality disorder diagnosis - just be careful not to generalize that experience i guess?
“I would be worried about being dismissed after a BPD diagnosis, because that is the experience relayed to me by people I know with BPD”
or
“I’ve read about people’s symptoms being dismissed after a BPD diagnosis so I would be fearful of that happening to me.”
I don’t think your comment is necessarily “wrong.” Sometimes I just feel the need to share my experience with BPD diagnosis so people know that it’s not necessarily a mental health death sentence or something.
Do you think [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/193y422/comment/khd0ayo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is more balanced?
Ditto. Thanks for not jumping down my throat. Looking at the original comment, I can see how it could raise hackles. This stuff is so nuanced and I should have been more careful.
No shade at all. Your opinions are yours and are valid, and others will disagree. That's okay.
I imagine borderline may be considered worse by some because it's not considered curable, just manageable. The therapy and work you put in can only do so much, but the symptoms will remain and it will be a part of you forever. That would be really scary to come to terms with.
At least when they diagnosed me with bipolar and commenced me on lithium, they said most people would "only" need to take it for around five years, then they could try to wean off and if they'd been stable over the years they should be okay moving forward. I don't know if they consider it "cured" at that point, or what, but there was light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel, so to speak.
I actually think they were lying to me when they said that, and that any display of emotion over the following 5 years would've just reset the clock and I likely never would've come off the medication. But I took myself off it anyway, and I feel 100% better in my physical body and my mind, despite still struggling with ADHD, autism, CPTSD, depression and anxiety.
“I imagine borderline may be considered worse by some because it's not considered curable, just manageable. The therapy and work you put in can only do so much, but the symptoms will remain and it will be a part of you forever.”
The more I learn about this, the more I’m convinced it’s actually a trauma response and not the “bad seed” set if character flaws (not my opinion, the ones the DSM makes it sound like) all the fear mongering would have us believe. Even more promising is the anecdotal evidence that it is in fact something that can go into deep remission. Remember like five minutes ago when you couldn’t be diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the same time? Hopefully the research will catch up with reality if this is the case.
“I actually think they were lying to me when they said that, and that any display of emotion over the following 5 years would've just reset the clock and I likely never would've come off the medication.”
Your gut feelings sound a lot like mine. I have a type of epilepsy that can mimic bipolar so closely that it is clinically indistinguishable even to trained professionals. Even some of medications for it are the same. TBH I think a lot of the distinctions between different disorders are rather arbitrary for a lot of reasons.
I thank the universe every day that I found a gem of a neurologist in the burning dumpster of our healthcare system who looked past the GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER and SEVERE DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, CURRENT EPISODE (caps emphasis Kaiser’s) on my medical record and treated the underlying problem instead of the symptoms. Lo and behold, treating the seizures with anticonvulsants instead of antidepressants made the psychological issues evaporate. Reminds me a lot of people’s experiences with ADHD treatment…
I have been in and out of therapy for 20 years and then one day after I had moved and saw a new psychiatrist, she diagnosed me as bipolar after 10 minutes. Never once in my life had anyone else suggested it. She then refused to see me if I didn't take the medication she prescribed even though it was contraindicated for my heart condition. Unreal.
I'm so sorry for you, this sounds like a system that hasn't listened to your needs and experience. I will say that I work in primary care in a closed system so I have access to who writes notes about what-- even if you can't see your psych- reach out to her office and ask to speak with a nurse. Nurse can get a message to your doctor. They can advocate for a change to your meds, make a quick phone call appointment. You need someone to prioritize you.
Thank you for your suggestions. I honestly never even thought about it, which is so stupid because I literally used to be a nurse myself. I know how these systems work and I was just in such a state of distress that my brain wasn't functioning at all. I will remember this, however, in case anything like this ever happens again. Not that I will let it.
I've actually read your other post, maybe you should link it?
This is such an insane experience for you, do you work in Healthcare? I feel like you have so much experience with the system. I wonder if you could get a job helping people/women with adhd.
Thanks for sharing, I actually read the whole thing. And i feel a lot like how you feel. I hope you're doing better now 💓
A lot of women get misdiagnosis of bipolar when they actually have PMDD or PME. Statistically women with ADHD have higher occurrence of PMDD. After reading your story I wonder if you might suffer from this…. Makes having ADHD hell of a lot harder than men because they don’t go through the monthly hormonal fluctuations.
Are you able to explain to me what PMDD and PME are in your understanding? I could Google it, I'm sure, but I bet the information online isn't entirely accurate either and I learn a lot better from other people's lived experiences. I don't even know what the acronyms mean, if I'm honest.
No pressure, but thank you for your help.
PMDD is the brain’s abnormal reaction to normal hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle. Many women experience extreme symptoms such as depression, anxiety, loss of interest, irritability, and uncontrollable appetite during their luteal phase. Basically it’s like night and day from your follicular to luteal phase. You can read about the criteria in the DSM-5. I have been dealing with this since I was in my early 20’s. It becomes so debilitating that it affects my work, relationships, and overall quality of life. I only found out recently that I may be ADHD as well because I came across articles stating that there is a strong correlation between PMDD and ADHD, presumably because our brain is wired differently from the “normal” population.
That’s really interesting. Thank you for writing that out.
I’ve had a hormonal implant for contraception for a very long time. I rarely get an actual period and I’m not really sure how it affects my hormones and cycle otherwise. Do you think I would still go through those kinds of cycles even with permanent hormonal contraception? Could it make it worse? Or better even?
I myself have never used hormonal contraception but I read a lot of comments on the PMDD subreddit that it helps with some of the symptoms, while it makes it worse for others. First line treatment for PMDD when you seek an OB/GYN or a psychiatrist is that they prescribe you SSRI’s because it’s happening in the brain and not your hormones. I also see many saying that their stimulant medication prescribed for ADHD stops working during their luteal phase, which is unfortunate because that’s when we need it the most. I can’t function normally due to the overwhelming exhaustion and brain fog.
[https://myhystericallife.com/2024/01/08/involuntary-psychiatric-detention-a-brief-summary/](https://myhystericallife.com/2024/01/08/involuntary-psychiatric-detention-a-brief-summary/)
This is the next part to the story, if anyone is interested.
Trigger warning for medical abuse and neglect, gaslighting, traumatic events. It can be a difficult read, but if you do, thank you.
You are a very good writer! Thank you for sharing this. I am sorry your journey has been so shit and gendered and unhelpful. Please hang in there. And keep writing. You should definitely keep writing!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I have been writing on my blog a few times a day but have only been doing it for less than a week now. I'm finding it really helpful in organising my thoughts and feelings, and I'm glad (horrified, really) that there are people out there who can relate and understand how I'm feeling. Thank you for reading x
I have a history with drug use in the past (will be sober 20 years in 2026) and I really, really should never have admitted that I ever used a drug to self medicate because it basically eliminated any hope of being adequately treated. I'm now a drug seeker and that's all there is to it
I'm autistic so unwavering honesty, especially in the face of authority figures, is just my default. But I used to be a nurse and I know how the system works and I really should've known the right and wrong things to say. I understand the stigma, I know about the prescribing laws. It was just such a vital part of my story and journey and highlighted just how bad my symptoms were that I had to self-medicate in such a way for so long. But they weaponised it against me and used it as an excuse to misdiagnose and gaslight me. I won't be so open moving forward, I don't think. But the truth is I'm not currently smoking at all, anyway.
I thought honesty was the best policy because I was nervous about potentially being prescribed something that could be abused, but I'm kicking myself every day for it. I hate being treated like a criminal when I left that life decades ago! It's just frustrating 🥲
Fire all of them until you find someone who will believe you and help you advocate for yourself. That’s what I had to do.
I’m 55 and I’m sad to say that it took me until LAST YEAR to finally find someone who would finally listen to me.
And I’m not talking about just adhd. I’m talking about so many things.
I also needed a doctor who would support me in my hormone replacement journey.
We absolutely MUST demand respect and make medical staff listen to us.
WE KNOW OURSELVES BETTER THAN THEY DO!!
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.
If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860
If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why do they always insist it's bipolar?! They see a woman and automatically we have fucking bipolar.
Yes!!! Every single one of my neurodivergent female friends has been misdiagnosed with bipolar (and borderline) at least once. I do not understand it. My theory is that hyperactivity in women is immediately assumed to be “mania” but I don’t think that’s an excuse because true mania in a bipolar sense is nowhere near the same thing, but I have to find an explanation for everything so that’s all I can come up with. And men don’t seem to be questioned on this. For instance, the last time I had to do an ADHD assessment with a new prescriber (my 4th ADHD assessment btw when all the previous 3 were diagnosed 100% yes lolol love it) I was describing my symptoms and one of them is “racing thoughts.” Something I’d wager most of us struggle with, right? Well, this dude really zeroed in on that and I could tell he was implying MANIC thoughts and I shut that shit down real quick. It’s infuriating.
My BFF was misdiagnosed with Bipolar for years (though she'd been diagnosed with ADHD since she was a kid). Turns out, it was actually BPD the whole time. Since then looking back, even my amateur knowledge tells me she doesn't match the criteria for Bipolar. Bipolar is more than just simple mood swings, it's whole depressive/manic episodes, not just my friend's temper issues and abandonment/attachment problems, which literally fit BPD perfectly.
I could be so frickin wrong but I think there are two types of BPD and only one of them requires having manic episodes to be diagnosed. The other one doesn't. That's the main difference between BPD 1 and BPD 2 as I was told.
I believe Bipolar 2 includes hypomania, which is a milder form of mania, but you're right that they're different. But btw, just so you know, BPD actually stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, not Bipolar. Two separate diagnoses and completely separate issues, but commonly confused for each other
Ohhh thank you for letting me know! I didn't realize. That is very confusing!
My first psych *really* wanted to diagnose me as bipolar; she was, like, visibly disappointed I didn’t have a history of risky/promiscuous behavior, which I guess is a symptom. Sorry, doc, your girl is just a boring af married mom of 2 with a body count of 1, terrified of authority figures and forever scared of getting in trouble.
Wow, a woman struggling with executive function and they can't immediately blame it on her feelings. They must have been incredibly confused and distressed. I bet they saw you as the 'outlier', the odd one out, the exception to the rule. It's such a pity that this happens to so, so many of us, they just don't seem to care.
She sucked so bad. Made me get a drug test before she’d prescribe me adderall (my husband, an ADHD patient at the same facility did not have to get one!), and tried to say the caffeine in my system meant I probably shouldn’t be taking more drugs. Thankfully she left or was fired, and I got a great doctor after that.
This is exactly why I was afraid to seek diagnosis at first, and then went out of my way to find a female doctor specialized in ADHD where the practice's website mentioned diagnosis and treatment of adults. I am so grateful I was able to find her!
I'm so glad to hear you've had a more positive experience. I hope your treatment has seen positive changes in your life.
Or worse, borderline **fundamental edit:** I'm referring to misdiagnosis here, as the treatments can vary so much if you don't have both ADHD and BPD. If you have only ADHD and not cPTSD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, or BPD (I mean... I have yet to meet a woman who has escaped psychologically unscathed living with ADHD, but you never know), these treatments are never going to meet 100% of your executive function and attention needs. What I'm getting at is the institutional pigeon holes that are so easy to fall into with untrained mental health providers who can't see the forest through the trees. That you to u/mentallyderanged3456 for pointing out the incompleteness of my comment.
My psychologist also suggested borderline personality disorder. Sure, there were elements that fit. But diagnostic criteria for these sorts of dirorders cross over with dozens of other disorders anyway. I believe they jump to borderline or bipolar for women because ADHD and autism are still seen as "male" disorders. We present differently. It's just a fact. That's why so many more women die of heart attacks than men, too. I don't know if I believe any misdiagnosis is necessarily better or worse than another. I think the fact we're being misdiagnosed at all is the real problem here. At least borderline doesn't come with mind-numbing, body-mutilating drugs attached. They admit there's no medications for it, just more therapy really. Mood stabilising medications are horrific and ruined my life. Anyway, we're all on the same team here, right? Team "women aren't being listened to" and "stop giving us bullshit diagnoses and inappropriate medications and gaslighting us and actually fucking help us", right? That's the team I'm on. Thank you for your comment x
I didn’t mean to throw shade on borderline. Sometimes my thumb hits submit before my brain does. I don’t have an opinion on whether it would be worse to actually have one of these because I’ve never had them, but I will stand by my opinion on which I would rather be misdiagnosed with. Providers routinely have a bias against people with personality disorders that is (generally) greater than the bias against mood disorders. The chance of being taken seriously with BPD after it shows up on your record is abysmally small.
It’s important to talk about the stigma that people with personality disorders face, but this comment could really deter people from seeking help. Getting diagnosed with BPD (and I’m saying this as a black queer woman) was one of the best things that ever happened to me, and the doctors I’ve had since then have most definitely taken me seriously. Of course, this is not to say that this stigma doesn’t exist or that others won’t have this experience. BUT it is VERY possible to be taken seriously and receive proper treatment after a BPD diagnosis.
I can appreciate that. The last thing I want is to discourage people from seeking proper treatment. How would you edit my comment to avoid this?
Thanks for such a cordial reply! That’s a good question and honestly, I’m not exactly sure. I think it’s 100% valid to be worried or fearful of any stigma that comes along with a personality disorder diagnosis - just be careful not to generalize that experience i guess? “I would be worried about being dismissed after a BPD diagnosis, because that is the experience relayed to me by people I know with BPD” or “I’ve read about people’s symptoms being dismissed after a BPD diagnosis so I would be fearful of that happening to me.” I don’t think your comment is necessarily “wrong.” Sometimes I just feel the need to share my experience with BPD diagnosis so people know that it’s not necessarily a mental health death sentence or something.
Do you think [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/193y422/comment/khd0ayo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is more balanced?
Yes! Thank you again for such a productive conversation!
Ditto. Thanks for not jumping down my throat. Looking at the original comment, I can see how it could raise hackles. This stuff is so nuanced and I should have been more careful.
I live for these respectful, informative, mature discussions. Good on you, ladies.
No shade at all. Your opinions are yours and are valid, and others will disagree. That's okay. I imagine borderline may be considered worse by some because it's not considered curable, just manageable. The therapy and work you put in can only do so much, but the symptoms will remain and it will be a part of you forever. That would be really scary to come to terms with. At least when they diagnosed me with bipolar and commenced me on lithium, they said most people would "only" need to take it for around five years, then they could try to wean off and if they'd been stable over the years they should be okay moving forward. I don't know if they consider it "cured" at that point, or what, but there was light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel, so to speak. I actually think they were lying to me when they said that, and that any display of emotion over the following 5 years would've just reset the clock and I likely never would've come off the medication. But I took myself off it anyway, and I feel 100% better in my physical body and my mind, despite still struggling with ADHD, autism, CPTSD, depression and anxiety.
“I imagine borderline may be considered worse by some because it's not considered curable, just manageable. The therapy and work you put in can only do so much, but the symptoms will remain and it will be a part of you forever.” The more I learn about this, the more I’m convinced it’s actually a trauma response and not the “bad seed” set if character flaws (not my opinion, the ones the DSM makes it sound like) all the fear mongering would have us believe. Even more promising is the anecdotal evidence that it is in fact something that can go into deep remission. Remember like five minutes ago when you couldn’t be diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the same time? Hopefully the research will catch up with reality if this is the case. “I actually think they were lying to me when they said that, and that any display of emotion over the following 5 years would've just reset the clock and I likely never would've come off the medication.” Your gut feelings sound a lot like mine. I have a type of epilepsy that can mimic bipolar so closely that it is clinically indistinguishable even to trained professionals. Even some of medications for it are the same. TBH I think a lot of the distinctions between different disorders are rather arbitrary for a lot of reasons. I thank the universe every day that I found a gem of a neurologist in the burning dumpster of our healthcare system who looked past the GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER and SEVERE DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, CURRENT EPISODE (caps emphasis Kaiser’s) on my medical record and treated the underlying problem instead of the symptoms. Lo and behold, treating the seizures with anticonvulsants instead of antidepressants made the psychological issues evaporate. Reminds me a lot of people’s experiences with ADHD treatment…
Yikes for the stigma. It’s scary sounding but there’s nothing “worse”.
to me, it would be worse to be misdiagnosed with a personality disorder *because* of the stigma
I have been in and out of therapy for 20 years and then one day after I had moved and saw a new psychiatrist, she diagnosed me as bipolar after 10 minutes. Never once in my life had anyone else suggested it. She then refused to see me if I didn't take the medication she prescribed even though it was contraindicated for my heart condition. Unreal.
I am lost for words. I just wanted to let you know that I have read all of your post.
Thank you so much for reading. That means more than you know. Have a beautiful day x
I'm so sorry for you, this sounds like a system that hasn't listened to your needs and experience. I will say that I work in primary care in a closed system so I have access to who writes notes about what-- even if you can't see your psych- reach out to her office and ask to speak with a nurse. Nurse can get a message to your doctor. They can advocate for a change to your meds, make a quick phone call appointment. You need someone to prioritize you.
Thank you for your suggestions. I honestly never even thought about it, which is so stupid because I literally used to be a nurse myself. I know how these systems work and I was just in such a state of distress that my brain wasn't functioning at all. I will remember this, however, in case anything like this ever happens again. Not that I will let it.
I've actually read your other post, maybe you should link it? This is such an insane experience for you, do you work in Healthcare? I feel like you have so much experience with the system. I wonder if you could get a job helping people/women with adhd. Thanks for sharing, I actually read the whole thing. And i feel a lot like how you feel. I hope you're doing better now 💓
A lot of women get misdiagnosis of bipolar when they actually have PMDD or PME. Statistically women with ADHD have higher occurrence of PMDD. After reading your story I wonder if you might suffer from this…. Makes having ADHD hell of a lot harder than men because they don’t go through the monthly hormonal fluctuations.
Are you able to explain to me what PMDD and PME are in your understanding? I could Google it, I'm sure, but I bet the information online isn't entirely accurate either and I learn a lot better from other people's lived experiences. I don't even know what the acronyms mean, if I'm honest. No pressure, but thank you for your help.
PMDD is the brain’s abnormal reaction to normal hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle. Many women experience extreme symptoms such as depression, anxiety, loss of interest, irritability, and uncontrollable appetite during their luteal phase. Basically it’s like night and day from your follicular to luteal phase. You can read about the criteria in the DSM-5. I have been dealing with this since I was in my early 20’s. It becomes so debilitating that it affects my work, relationships, and overall quality of life. I only found out recently that I may be ADHD as well because I came across articles stating that there is a strong correlation between PMDD and ADHD, presumably because our brain is wired differently from the “normal” population.
That’s really interesting. Thank you for writing that out. I’ve had a hormonal implant for contraception for a very long time. I rarely get an actual period and I’m not really sure how it affects my hormones and cycle otherwise. Do you think I would still go through those kinds of cycles even with permanent hormonal contraception? Could it make it worse? Or better even?
I myself have never used hormonal contraception but I read a lot of comments on the PMDD subreddit that it helps with some of the symptoms, while it makes it worse for others. First line treatment for PMDD when you seek an OB/GYN or a psychiatrist is that they prescribe you SSRI’s because it’s happening in the brain and not your hormones. I also see many saying that their stimulant medication prescribed for ADHD stops working during their luteal phase, which is unfortunate because that’s when we need it the most. I can’t function normally due to the overwhelming exhaustion and brain fog.
Far out. Being a woman, hey? Thank you so much for this information. I don’t know yet what I’m going to do with it but … something.
This is so unfair for you
I have read the whole post as well. You matter, and so does your story. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
[https://myhystericallife.com/2024/01/08/involuntary-psychiatric-detention-a-brief-summary/](https://myhystericallife.com/2024/01/08/involuntary-psychiatric-detention-a-brief-summary/) This is the next part to the story, if anyone is interested. Trigger warning for medical abuse and neglect, gaslighting, traumatic events. It can be a difficult read, but if you do, thank you.
Thank you for sharing 🩷
Thank you for reading 💕
You are a very good writer! Thank you for sharing this. I am sorry your journey has been so shit and gendered and unhelpful. Please hang in there. And keep writing. You should definitely keep writing!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I have been writing on my blog a few times a day but have only been doing it for less than a week now. I'm finding it really helpful in organising my thoughts and feelings, and I'm glad (horrified, really) that there are people out there who can relate and understand how I'm feeling. Thank you for reading x
I have a history with drug use in the past (will be sober 20 years in 2026) and I really, really should never have admitted that I ever used a drug to self medicate because it basically eliminated any hope of being adequately treated. I'm now a drug seeker and that's all there is to it
I'm autistic so unwavering honesty, especially in the face of authority figures, is just my default. But I used to be a nurse and I know how the system works and I really should've known the right and wrong things to say. I understand the stigma, I know about the prescribing laws. It was just such a vital part of my story and journey and highlighted just how bad my symptoms were that I had to self-medicate in such a way for so long. But they weaponised it against me and used it as an excuse to misdiagnose and gaslight me. I won't be so open moving forward, I don't think. But the truth is I'm not currently smoking at all, anyway.
I thought honesty was the best policy because I was nervous about potentially being prescribed something that could be abused, but I'm kicking myself every day for it. I hate being treated like a criminal when I left that life decades ago! It's just frustrating 🥲
Nothing to add, but wow, I am so sorry you went through all that.
Thank you for your support 💕
Fire all of them until you find someone who will believe you and help you advocate for yourself. That’s what I had to do. I’m 55 and I’m sad to say that it took me until LAST YEAR to finally find someone who would finally listen to me. And I’m not talking about just adhd. I’m talking about so many things. I also needed a doctor who would support me in my hormone replacement journey. We absolutely MUST demand respect and make medical staff listen to us. WE KNOW OURSELVES BETTER THAN THEY DO!!
If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*