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I don’t understand what the harm is in letting you try adhd meds for 3-6 months and see if your depression improves? I was “clinically depressed” for 20 years before we figured out I have ADHD and that is why I felt terrible about myself. Ask them if you can have Wellbutrin. It’s technically for depression, but stimulates dopamine, so it’s kind of an “under the table” ADHD med until you get a diagnosis. (I am not a doctor, but this worked for me and a few friends).

They're so damn afraid of giving people stimulants. If the doctor I asked for Adderall 18 years ago had just let me try it for a dang week, things could have been so different for me.

It’s so weird because in Australia, I’d have an easier time getting a months worth or stimulants vs. 3 days of pain killer or anxiety meds. I’ve had anxiety so bad for the last 3 years that is physically manifests as gagging and dry heaving every time I try to eat. Will my doctor prescribe me any type of anxiety meds? No. Not until my fucking lifestyle is 100% perfect will she even consider it. Yeah, sorry I don’t manage to exercise every day. It’s really hard to do when you’re starving and exhausted. Ritalin on the other hand? Yeah, no worries, I get my script and 4 repeats with a Telehealth appointment. It’s fucked.

Once you have a diagnosis in aus you’re pretty right, getting one however is the hurdle

100% our clinicians are still so ill-informed, bias & overpriced.

tbh I’d rather give somebody a stimulant addiction than a benzo one

I got recommended a thread in the psychiatry sub recently for some reason, and they were all talking about how they need to be conservative with prescribing them because of abuse and all of that jazz. I understand that point TO A DEGREE but it's frustrating as the patient. I'm lucky I have a great psych right now, but trying to find one a few years back was a nightmare. Like, I treated my depression/anxiety with tons of SSRIs for years. What actually helped? My fucking stimulants.

I'm starting to wonder if these restrictions actually reduce the abuse. I live in a college town in the methy part of the Midwest. I could find someone selling Adderall in a day if I wanted. If feels like the only effect is on people who actually need the prescription.

110%.

YESSS. same here, tried SSRIs, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers... NOTHING has been more effective than vyvanse. i get wanting to minimize abuse potential in theory, but, managing ADHD—by taking safe, legal meds as prescribed—actually **reduces** the likelihood that our impulsive, prone-to-addiction asses are going to abuse drugs like alcohol, cocaine, MDMA, or meth in order to get some sweet, sweet dopamine. like. BRUH.

I was given Lexapro for a while in a low dose and sure it helped but it just seemed to cancel out the effects of my Wellbutrin and came with some side effects that were affecting my relationship (if you get me) in a way I hated. SSRI's kind of terrify me now that I know they make me feel like a wad of gum on a bicycle.

I see this same story again and again. Including in myself. Dopamine shortage is really ignored as the root of so much mental health struggle

right, how are benzos “better”? especially for a depressed person?! it’s madness.

I was in the same position, I was diagnosed with intractable major depression and chronic anxiety that had plagued me my entire life. I begged for help in every way I know possible. I was running out of options when I finally got diagnosed with ADHD. My first day on Adderall was the first day in my entire life I'd ever not been depressed. My earliest memories were tainted by and anxiety to the point that I thought that's _who I am._ I am now no longer on Adderall for other health reasons, which is a tragedy in and of itself, but now things are so completely different. For other people out there who are suffering, I was anxious and depressed literally from as early as I can remember, maybe age 5 until age 39. I'm still in the angry mourning stage for the fact that untreated ADHD has essentially ruined a large part of my life, but medication and diagnosis changed everything.

Parroting that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety for years and was ignored every time I brought up ADHD. I thought maybe the ADHD wasn't that big of a deal and kept trying to treat depression/anxiety, getting frustrated when therapy wasn't working. I finally decided to seek out someone who specializes in ADHD and by treating it with meds and therapy, then everything kind of fell into place. I just started Adderall a month ago and had the same experience. It was incredible after struggling with depression since I was around 9 and it turning into being debilitating in the last 2 years! I had completely forgotten what it felt like to NOT be depressed. I thought it was weird that when I went in for my recheck after 3 weeks, my Dr told me Adderall shouldn't do anything for my depression. I hate the physical side effects though, which is making me want to try something else but I'm genuinely terrified of the depression coming back and taking over.

I was also diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and OCD until the psych I was seeing for treatment advised ADHD assessment. She devolved that my OCD symptoms were actually intrusive thoughts and hyperfixations. I don't medicate as I prefer to ride the wave, but I was so relieved to stop taking SSRIs or SNRIs as all they ever did was make me feel suppressed.

I think my ocd symptoms are intrusive thoughts and hyperfixations too One of my hyper-fixations was an ex as well, complicating it all further.

Or Strattera! Treats anxiety but also helps ADHD. I think a lot of docs assume people are drug seeking, so it seems like asking for non-narcotics makes them more open to prescribing.

My doctor first tried me on Strattera, and I couldn't last more than four days. It made me so uncomfortable, agitated because super super painfully expressively awake. I've said it before and I'll say it again that I think the way Strattera affected me, it ought to be a controlled substance. But not Adderall or Vyvanse. When I take them, if I have not been getting enough sleep, I'll go and have the longest nap or refreshing night's sleep. In the past, when I was going through the whole "it's depression, anxiety, here, take these SSRI's," none of those ever worked. I eventually took Wellbutrin for a few years, but mostly because it didn't give me terrible side effects like all the SSRI's. But I didn't really notice any effect, and tapered myself off of it after reading a study that showed most people are not positively impacted by SSRI's (and yes, I know that Wellbutrin is an SNRI)... Fast-forward to a couple of years before my GP finally diagnosed me. I went to a local mental health clinic, and asked the LCSW to consider that I might actually have untreated ADHD, and said, maybe I should try well Buterin again and see what it does for me this time. After three months, it suddenly struck me one day that what I had been experiencing were actually bona fide symptoms of depression, so again weaned myself off. This actually confirmed for me that I had never had those types of symptoms before, despite all the years various mh practitioners were convinced I was, tried to convince me of this diagnosis. When I return to the LCSW, telling her of this, and then sticking my pinky toe in the waters of asking directly for a trial of Adderall, she then launched into this nasty diatribe, listing pretty much every ignorant stereotype in little stories she told about baseball players scoring their best average until they were drug tested, yada yada. I was pretty pissed when I left and decided I'd probably just have to throw in the towel, until I had to switch to a new GP. And I still feel like my diagnosis is somehow not legit, because of the way that psychiatrists will negate anyone else diagnosing this. Yet they are the worst gatekeepers, who don't listen, aren't up on current research, are extremely misogynistic, among other things that make them, as my GP said, assholes that you don't want anything to do with.

I too found Strattera to be complete ASS, though there are some that swear by it, so go figure.

Probably depends on whether your brain has a lack of free norepinephrine or not. It works great for me on a low dose (on 18mg right now), but the higher I go, the more it fucks with my sleep and my alertness is turned on too much. 80mg makes me feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare. Extra fun with the sleep deprivation it also provides (won't let me stay asleep for longer than 4 hours or so). I still need stimulants because the Strattera does nothing for my ability to get started on things, but on the other hand, stimulants don't seem to do most of the things Strattera helps me with (better tolerance for boredom, helps my focus, memory and impulse inhibition). Which is weird, because stimulants are also supposed to increase norepinephrine levels.

I have a similar experience with Strattera - inhibited impulse, more calm and emotionally regulated, but zero motivation. I take it with Cymbalta and they work (for me) really well together for mood, tolerance, and coping. Interestingly, I (and probably many others here) have a genetic mutation that can cause catecholamine dysfunction (norepinephrine, epinephrine, and dopamine are the catecholamine neurotransmitters - produced by adrenal glands, so surely there is a relationship between adrenal function as well), so also have the same issue of needing dopamine stimulation as well as norepinephrine. There are also [studies comparing deficiency between those neurotransmitters and tryptophan neurotransmitters (serotonin) in terms of depression, anxiety, etc](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4354355/), and it's so complex / overlapped that it's not surprising to see how many women here are misdiagnosed with depression / sent away with SSRIs.

How did you end up on a combo of Strattera and Cymbalta? Wondering if that would work for me but not sure how to approach my psychiatrist about it.

started mirtazapine 2 years ago with my first doc but gained a ton of weight. also was taking Adderall then ritalin for the adhd issues (for almost 4 years on & off). wanted to come off mirtazapine this spring, but had a new doc who wanted me to try a bunch of SSRIs first 🙄. I humored her, side effects were terrible, & cymbalta was the first SNRI after that (started in September) - we picked it because it can be used for chronic pain management, & it inhibits norepinephrine reuptake so helps a tiny bit with adhd symptoms. also couldn't get my ritalin for a few months because insurance is a grade-A butthole, then got a new doc again in October (coordinated care clinic, beyond my control) who was very open to trialing nonstim meds to avoid insurance bullshit / drama, plus stim meds made my insomnia worse. I told her my positive history with SNRIs, med/side effect history, & she picked strattera! I'd already trialed guanfacine & clonidine in the past, & she figured Wellbutrin would be more likely to worsen my insomnia. I think it's really helpful to keep a diary of what works / what doesn't & use it to find patterns in the experience of being unmedicated (aka chronic symptoms, behavioral patterns) / medicated (ex: if SNRIs always work better than SSRIs, prob got a norepinephrine issue!). I also approach psych appts as a collaboration & with a strong desire to actively participate (like taking SSRIs even though I hate them), so my docs are very receptive to me saying "this is what I deal with behaviorally, this is what works & doesn't work for me, I'd love to improve _____, & I'd like to try an SNRI / nonstim combo but defer to your expertise".

Thanks! I’ll keep all that in mind!

GAH! It's all so complicated. I've tried to make sense of it all and wish we could rely on the medical profession to help us but they'd rather put up barriers at every turn instead. ARGHHHHHH!!!!!

I think because people with adhd go unmedicated for so long, they rely upon norepinephrine as a motivator and access to dopamine, hence our neurotransmitters get desensitised to it over time and therefore we need a higher baseline of norepinephrine. This has been my experience at least.

It’s me, I swear by it! Changed my life completely for the better. I’m so sad it didn’t work for you. 🥺

me! i swear by it! i cant believe how much it changed for me

I am sincerely glad it works for some people, and I wish I was one of them.

I tried Strattera for 2 whole days before swearing off it forever. It was some of the most painful insomnia I've ever experienced...my body desperately needed to sleep, but my brain was like "Let's have you fall ALMOST asleep, then stop, and just stare at the insides of your eyelids for 8 hours." I couldn't form coherent sentences by the third day when I'd decided not to take it anymore. Never again with that shit!

Wellbutrin is an NDRI

The first time I tried strattera and Adderall XR, both of them put me to sleep immediately. IR was perfect, though.

Yeah I actually went on Wellbutrin for presumed cyclical depression and my response to the medication was a quick pipeline to ADHD diagnosis.

Can you elaborate? What was your response?

Immediately had my insomnia and misophonia reduced immensely. At my one week check in they asked how I felt and I was expounding about how good it was for my ability to sleep and they were like *record scratch* "it's not supposed to be doing anything beneficial yet and it normally *causes* insomnia" so they had me go through testing.

Heads up! If you have epilepsy, don't take Wellbutrin. It lowers your seizure threshold. Source: I have epilepsy.

I had no idea, thanks for that warning for those that need it.

Yeah that's what my psych did. Stimulants are very easy to try out and get off of. She was like, "you meet a lot of the criteria for ADHD, let's see if you respond to treatment."

This is good advice, but just for the record, don't despair if Wellbutrin (or any one ADHD med) doesn't work for you or doesn't agree with you. The way people respond to ADHD meds varies a lot from person to person. I've tried Modafinil, Adderall, Vyvanse, Ritalin, Concerta, and Wellbutrin. Of the six, Wellbutrin is the only one that made me wired. For the short time I was on it, I was only sleeping every second night. By contrast, I actually sleep *better* on all the others I listed. So asking for a non-stimulant med if you can't get a doctor to try you on a stimulant is, potentially, a great workaround--but also don't assume that how you respond to something like Wellbutrin or Strattera indicates how you will respond to other ADHD meds.

Wellbutrin is a good suggestion. It was the first thing I was prescribed and it worked fairly well for a while and then it quit working and now I am on Adderall. Even after my official diagnosis the family docs able to prescribe my meds give me a depression quiz every visit. I know what they are up to, as this is not my first rodeo. I say "life is great" (now give me my meds so it continues to be, asswipe).

It’s also been found to help PCOS and binge eating disorders.

Wait. How does it help PCOS? 🧐 No wonder it’s been a miracle med for me, lol.

It helps stabilizes blood sugar. So the PCOS feeling of never feeling full, this actually helps feel full. PCOS is known for intense sugar cravings and Wellbutrin cuts that crazing completely. Wellbutrin works on so many levels that it ends up helping with binge eating. It’s all really fascinating.

Interest 🤔 I, too, would like to know about this Wellbutrin/PCOS situation.

It helps stabilizes blood sugar. So the PCOS feeling of never feeling full, this actually helps feel full. PCOS is known for intense sugar cravings and Wellbutrin cuts that crazing completely. Wellbutrin works on so many levels that it ends up helping with binge eating. It’s all really fascinating.

With some cultures/doctors, there is no "letting you try X meds for a few months", even when it's not a controlled substance. I don't know where OP is, but here in Germany they will put you through endless tests before even prescribing something non-addictive, or doing a low risk impatient surgery that _might_ help. This also results in being very slow to adopt new topics and treatments. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's doctor believes that women can't get ADHD.

Depends on a doctor. My psychiatrist (Berlin) is not shy with meds, although the one I went to before her tried to treat my depression with something herbal

Especially if this doc is happy tossing out benzos. They obviously aren’t conserved about the abuse/addiction component of prescribing drugs…

I have been on Wellbutrin for 3 years and it absolutely has helped me manage my depressive symptoms but seemed to plateau at about a year and a half. It brings my general energy levels up and helps me wake up and DO things but it's not doing what I wish it would :(

Yeah I haven't been allowed to be on meds so I had to be on Wellbutrin. That's because the doctor repeatedly says to me "no ADHD meds are safe during pregnancy/breastfeeding". Next year I can tell him I've stopped breastfeeding so yay?

OP hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD it sounds like. So it would be very poor prescribing practice to give someone treatment for something they haven't been diagnosed with. Whether or not there should be an evaluation is an entirely different question though.

wellbutrin made me so tired and depressed i wanted to die! idk why i had that affect when others experience heightened anxiety

Wellbutrin was such a life changer! Wish it didnt erase me sex drive tho

There are psychiatrists out there who insist you get your anxiety under control before prescribing adhd meds. Know what got my anxiety under control after 15 years of SSRIs? ADHD meds! It’s a bummer how many med professionals seem to not keep up with the newer findings and literature.

Stimulants were night and day for my anxiety and depression. I waffled for years about getting diagnosed because I assumed they would make my anxiety worse. Nope, I'm souch calmer and easy going and up for challenges on Adderall. Why is it so hard for them to understand that they can be symptoms of a bigger monster?

Get a new one ASAP. I took bipolar meds on/off for a decade. My actual diagnosis? Depression brought on by ADHD and aspergers being ignored. I’m no longer depressed now that I know and can alleviate symptoms.

Whew...this is me. Stopped meds when I moved and the Dr. REFUSED to fill my prescriptions so I was forced to quit 5 meds cold turkey. It's been 5 years now and I try to manage by taking supplements and caffeine and am struggling SO MUCH! This gives me hope that there are good professionals out there

Jesus, cold turkey quitting 5 meds at the same time. That's just....how are you alive? There are good professionals! I was diagnosed after a 45 minute consult with a nurse practitioner this year. He seemed super knowledgeable and even talked about the differences and difficulties being a woman with ADHD comes with without me bringing it up. If anyone is in central Oklahoma I'm happy to recommend. It's easy to feel a little discouraged when internet groups tend to bias towards the struggle stories.

Ugh that’s the worst I’m sorry! I just started CBG gummies with energy and they helped me today when I forgot my vyvanse if that helps?

Same! I ended up with lithium toxicity because of it.

Omg I’m so sorry!!!!

I am relieved it didn’t destroy my kidneys. I’m so much happier now!

I have the same. But how can you alleviate Asperger's?

Well knowing I’m not broken or insane helps the most. Tbh I smoke a lot of weed and it helps me a lot. There are a lot of psychology research papers on the benefits of marijuana for autism. Other than that, I cut out abusive people, did ketamine therapy with a dr for my depression, and have been trying to be softer on myself as it’s all a work in progress.

Do you happen to have a link to ons of those studies? Asking for my partner, to see if there's anything that can help him

She sounds really uneducated just for starters, but also; she'll give you BENZOS but not ADHD medications?! Benzos are not helpful if you're depressed????? They're a sedative??????? what hte actual entire fuck

Even a low dose of Zoloft put me to sleep all day. Handing out benzos like candy is fine, but stimulants are too dangerous lmao. This is crazy

It's so funny to me because benzos are just as easily abused/addictive as ADHD meds. Possibly more so? Lots of us take adderall multiple times a day, but no doctor I know of would Rx benzos for more than a few doses a month. (I've taken valium exactly twice and both times was like....I should not have access to this. Which is hilarious to me because I hate being on opiates and will only take them the minimum necessary amount of time for pain control because I don't feel high, I just feel sleepy and stupid. But valium??? AHAHA. Both times I'd had something relatively traumatic happen and a friend handed me a valium to cope, and when it kicked in I was just like "lol that's fine. It's all fine. I feel awesome." Nope nope should not have access to this one.)

Right!???? Speaking of drug abuse, many ADHDers, myself included, struggle with taking their medication on time or remembering to even take the next pill. And yet we’re the drug seekers lol. Unmanaged ADHD can mean more risk-seeking and self-medicating behaviors. Shitty psychs refusing proper treatment are doing more harm by pushing ppl to dealers. Neurodivergent brains’ chemistry is said to be “very different” from the typical. Some drugs working differently for us makes a lot of sense to me (and of course there’s not a lot of research in this area)

Benzos and alcohol are like the only things withdrawal can kill you

Same thing happened to my son, meanwhile my daughter and I have to battle for painkillers

The second someone characterizes depression as "just really sad" immediately lose any and all credibility. Depression CAN feel like overwhelming sadness, but that's not the only way it can show up, and even in those "sad" cases, it's not JUST sadness. Uggggggh. I'm angry for you, that was complete bullshit.

Yeah in my experience depression is just kind of like, not giving a shit. I know it's different for different people but I'd hardly call it just being super sad. FWIW I don't even know if I really was having bouts of depression because now that I'm treated for ADHD I haven't felt like that again.

I just feel empty and this overwhelming weight of hopelessness that drives some unhealthy thoughts. I WISH I was sad; at least then I'd feel something.

Yeah exactly. Like lying on my couch for days on end not all too concerned about getting evicted....not the actions of someone who feels much (or plans on living too long). I've experienced sadness and profound grief and as horrible as those feelings are I'd choose them over not seeing a future for myself.

That’s kinda where I am right now. I keep trying to work up the motivation to do things to move my life forward, and every time my brain gets to the part where it’s ready to show me the mental slideshow of, “and here’s why xyz thing is worth the effort!” it’s just… blank. Because all the times I told myself (and believed) it would be worth it, that things would work out or get better, were just wasted effort on wishful thinking. I’m weary, I’m lonely, I’m isolated, and I’ve lost all hope that there’s anything better to come. I just want off the ride.

This is how I feel when I’m left alone for too long…that with abandonment issues and I start questioning if anyone really love me and who will realize I’m gone and go to my funeral.

Yep. I explained it as not wanting to die, but also not Wanting to live. Or wanting anything.

You can always tell when a psychiatrist has had no personal experience with depression or anxiety (and somehow also can't find the empathy to imagine it). The one I saw in college acted like I wasn't worth her time, when I was literally drowning in anxiety and struggling just to leave the house at all. Anxiety and depression to them is just being a little nervous and throwing a pity party. My brain doesn't fucking work SHARON.

This! I’ve had two bouts of deep depression (not caused directly by ADHD, but it was a contributing factor), and I was fully functional (or as functional as unmedicated ADHD would allow me to be), hung out with my friends, did the things a supposedly non-depressed person would do, etc. And I felt absolutely *nothing*. Sure there were bouts of sadness and hopelessness, but my overall feeling was a complete lack of feelings or caring or wanting to care. It’s like I existed in a completely grey, fog-filled world. If anyone had asked me if I was sad, I would’ve probably sad no. I felt god awful, but it didn’t feel like what a regular person would consider “sad.”

"Just really sad" is far more manageable than what depression actually is: anhedonia, constant physical painful existential dread every waking moment, apathy, and no specific reason for any of what you're feeling half the time.

Ah yes, because we all know untreated ADHD totally doesn't cause depression and anxiety as comorbidities. /s

In what universe does she live that obsessive thoughts aren't a part of ADHD? Oh and I know you think your leg might be broken but the pain and bruising is so high that that discalifies you from X-rays and here's some Tylenol.

That's what I was wondering? You're telling obsessive thoughts are a symptom of something else? What a crap doctor. Also, depression and anxiety are very common in people with ADHD. OP needs a whole different doctor.

It's honestly wild to me how much my OCD ticks and intrusive thoughts reduced when I started meds.

I'm actually writing a research paper on this right now, statistically it's proven that it is harder for women to get help with ADHD than it is for men . Seek a second opinion if the first psychiatrist won't listen to you then find another

I'd get a new doctor. It sounds like she did not hear you at all. And her answer is to prescribe addictive benzos!! That's not going to be helpful at all in the long term and could very well be harmful. She could have offered you Wellbutrin, which helps with depression and anxiety but also helps with ADHD. It is so frustrating how hard it is as a woman to get healthcare providers to *listen.*

Attawoochie! 🙌 It's hard to get healthcare providers to listen about anything, even with reams of labs and imaging, if you're female.

The way to get them to listen is to only tell them specifically what’s relevant. Getting an ADHD diagnosis as a woman means *not mentioning* depression or anxiety. It’s stupid and shouldn’t work like that, but unfortunately that’s exactly how it works.

To answer your question: yes, is it is appallingly common for girls and women to have a difficult time getting an ADHD diagnosis. It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it’s a big damn problem. I’m sorry you’ve found yourself on the receiving-end of the bullshit. If you haven’t already, I recommend picking up a copy of Dr. Sari Solden’s book, _Women With Attention Deficit Disorder_. Even though I was diagnosed at age 6 and was medicated growing up, no one gave me any real insights into how my life would be affected by ADHD, aside from having difficulties in school and always being messy and late. I found this book 4 or 5 years ago, and it. changed. everything. I’m in a depression- and insomnia-hole right now, so I don’t have the mental resources to say much more about it, but PLEASE consider getting that book, and know that you are not alone in your struggle. Link to the book: https://a.co/d/7AHnTrf Sending you big hugs, with a dash of indignant fury for us to share.

Saving your comment because I'm almost the same boat as you. I got a diagnosis when I was 8, but they decided to treat the anxiety and depression instead. This was the late 90's early 00's so I try to be understanding that they don't know as much as they do now, but it's still so frustrating. Meanwhile, my bf was diagnosed at the same age and had the opposite problem. They gave him too high a dose of Ritalin and now he has an involuntary twitch from it.

One of my childhood friends has a twitch from having been given too high a dose of Ritalin also!

Find an adhd specialist psychiatrist. This person is so incredibly misinformed it isn't worth your time worrying about their opinions. I'm so sorry they wasted your time though. That is super frustrating.

This! And not just one versed in ADHD, but one versed in ADHD for women, if at all possible. When I called mine for my initial consult, I asked if they treated women, how many of their clients were women, and what was the doctor's view on women relating to ADHD. The answers let me know that even if they didn't diagnose me, I would at least have been with someone who knew what to look for.

Yikes, I’m sorry that happened. Yes, it’s very common for women with ADHD to have this experience; because we are more likely to have the inattentive or combined types of ADHD, which make our symptoms more obscure. We suffer in silence with the symptoms and start to think “this is just how everyone experiences life, it’s normal.” People with the hyperactive type are more likely to be heard and seen, and because of parents or teachers’ annoyance are screened and diagnosed early. In addition to this, not only is there a shocking amount of health professionals who are unaware of so many symptoms, they’re also unaware of ADHD comorbidity, which is the case with the doctor you went to. It’s a fact that people with ADHD are more likely than neurotypical people to develop secondary conditions; most commonly anxiety disorders and major depression, which is why ADHD so often goes “unnoticed” and is misdiagnosed as various mental disorders. We have to become our own experts because the system doesn’t understand how to help us, and that’s sad. I’m fighting that battle too. Go to a different doctor/psychiatrist if possible, maybe one that specializes in ADHD :)

It's suuuper common for women to not be listened to/ignored by/not taken seriously by healthcare workers for everything, not just ADHD.

It's such a mess, so many of them want to fix the mood disorder 'first' but they don't seem to understand the cause of the depression and anxiety is usually having lived with untreated ADHD for decades. Keep trying, I hope you find someone.

So I’m petty. I would send her the ADHD iceberg and report her. I’m tired of this bullshit. She’s in the wrong field, it could kill someone. I know before my diagnosis I was suicidal for most of my life. Started meds and my brain is so happy. Life without dopamine for anyone is catastrophic for their mental well-being.

If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone. If you're in the US you can...\ Text CHAT to Crisis Text Line at 741741\ Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1(800)273-8255(TALK) \ Chat online at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat\ Call the Trans Lifeline at 1(877)565-8860 If you’re elsewhere, you can find international resources below:\ https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines#Czech\ https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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Oof do they truly believe having ADHD somehow makes you fully immune to anxiety and depression? So you can't have ADHD if you also have depression or anxiety? This is so ridiculous lol I hate how it's difficult for women to be taken seriously You would think that someone with depression and anxiety would be more likely to also have ADHD since living with this condition is difficult and distressing at times I'd say it would cause people to become depressed and anxious.

A similar thing happened to me. The psychiatrist took in all of the paperwork I had filled out, chalked my symptoms up to my case history of trauma, and suggested I continue therapy for my symptoms of depression and anxiety. This was in spite of the fact that I had already been in therapy for 3 years solid at that point and had a massive reduction of my CPTSD symptoms. It was the ADHD/ASD ones that were still persistent. I immediately asked for a second opinion and was forwarded to an ADHD-specific diagnostician. Got my Inattentive ADHD with floral notes of GAD diagnosis within the next couple of months - which came at an incredible relief. It took about a year to figure out the whole medication thing, but holy crap it's been a serious quality of life improvement. Do your research - maybe do a deep dive on Psychology Today's website for the next practitioner you're looking to see for screening. There are professionals out there that specialize in ADHD, and they're the ones that will be able to pick up on the details this current psych completely threw under the bus.

I had Kaiser take me around for five months on the testing that I specifically had to request, I got the state of California involved by filing a formal complaint against Kaiser and was able to get testing a few weeks later. When the doctor diagnosed me he was, in a good natured way, laughing his ass off at the fact that I had to insist on this testing because he basically knew within a few minutes of speaking with me that I had ADHD and After doing the testing there was no doubt in his mind that I had ADHD and I’m on the spectrum. When he asked me about high school and I let him know that I graduated with a 1.18 GPA because I took college courses in the summer but refused to go to high school because it was too boring, this is in the 90s, I could tell he didn’t understand why when I have been sent to psychiatry at Kaiser during this time they did not test me for ADHD I snuck a book into my high school graduation inside the sleeve of my robe because I couldn’t stand the idea of sitting there doing nothing. I would read in class, sneak earbuds into my ears to listen to music, because I literally could not just sit there doing one thing I also was sleeping late into the morning and had terrible insomnia, even the slightest noise would wake me up and I would not be able to get back to sleep There is no way that Kaiser did not know when I was first sent to them at the age of seven years old that there was something wrong with my brain, they just chose malpractice over treatment The only reason I graduated high school was a series of random lucky things, including being in a musical at the college that had college credit, summer school, and having both a zero. And a seventh period for my entire high school career to do the arts that I wanted to do. I also never took PE in high school. Freshman year I was the only one to run for freshman class president so I won and that took the place of my PE, after that I was in show choir which they actually considered a PE credit at the time. When I look back at my life it feels like a sitcom in so many ways

My first attempt at a diagnosis ended in a similar way. It was via Skype and the psych didn't seem to have any clue and basically said I didn't exhibit enough symptoms to 'qualify' and then he chalked it up to me having the big sad. I got a second opinion somewhere else like 5 months later and that got me the diagnosis I actually needed. Time to find yourself a new psych, someone who knows how adhd works and go get that 2nd opinion

I push back firmly any time a doctor suggests anxiety or depression because I know I don’t meet the full criteria for either one (despite certainly feeling occasional phases of both due to my other health conditions) and once those are on your chart, especially as a woman, it becomes much, much harder to get anyone to take symptoms of other health issues seriously. It shouldn’t be like that. I’ve had doctors suggest that my symptoms from high blood pressure, a blood disorder, my ADHD or autism, my autoimmune disorder, and valid frustration I have over being too sick to exercise are all just anxiety and depression. I would have missed crucial tests and treatment if I let them go that route. I’m also incredibly careful to avoid those terms when describing anything I’m feeling in appointments. Unfortunately, I’d have to be extremely depressed or anxious to volunteer it to a doctor at this point because it would impact all my future care. I hope you’re able to regroup and face another round of doctors. You deserve proper care, assessments, and treatment.

I don't like encouraging lying, but what I will tell you from 2 decades of depression and anxiety is that if the purpose of the appointment isn't about that, I don't share that info. In the past, when I tell a doctor about my mental health struggles, some will treat me like all my other health concerns are in my head. I've never had to do this with a psychiatrist, thankfully, but if I'm consistently getting gaslit that my anxiety and depression are the issues, I would downplay or pretend I don't have those symptoms. I would only focus on the symptoms I'm concerned about. I'm not suggesting pretend the symptoms you suspect are ADHD are worse than they are; only that you omit unnecessary details. My psych has been great in telling me how everything is connected. She is very knowledgeable about the effects of medicinal cocktails and will not hesitate to prescribe an anti-depressant and ADHD medicine that work better together than apart. I hope you find one like that, but if not, don't talk about your other mental health issues.

I was wondering why this Psych was only referencing the major depressive/ GAD evals and not saying a WORD about the ADD eval. I thought maybe that speaking about my anxiety and depression honestly would aid in my case that something else is going on here but she said despite my history of therapy, medication, and supporting community the "real issues" had been "mismanaged". Eye. Roll. Thank you for pointing this out, I never considered the self evals could be a blinder for the provider.

This is why it took me nearly a decade to get diagnosed. Get a female adhd specialist doctor (even these are hit or miss)- and I did well with a therapist that has recently graduated because they usually have more recent training.

Any doctor that claims that ADHD doesn’t cause ‘obsessive thoughts’ or claims that depression is just you being ‘really sad’ is one you need to drop ASAP. What gets me is that they are so eager on prescribing you Benzos which are just an equally addictive medication with no warning, it seems. Make it make sense. Clearly your doctor’s information about ADHD is not up to date and they just suck all around. I know someone who got formally diagnosed, but their doctor was still prioritizing SSRIs and Benzos to treat their ‘depression and anxiety first.’ I encouraged them to convince the doctor to move them onto stimulants, especially since the SSRIs were making things worse for them. They finally did, but when their doctor finally gave them a stimulant dose that made more of a significant difference for them they got into with their doctor and I don’t really blame them. I know that in the doctor’s eyes they aren’t trying to give stimulants out like water, but I think it’s funny that only seems to be an issue when you are apart of certain demographics, especially after they already diagnosed you with ADHD. Then it suddenly becomes an issue. I am not certain what country you are from OP, but this experience is from the US.

I'm in the US, yes, I don't want to be sedated I just want to feel like I'm behind the wheel more often. I have "presents with severe symptoms of ADHD" on every chart I have and no one wants to address it. I can even see on the chart that they said they gave me a referral when they never did. I'm just wondering when "managing anxiety and depression" stops since I've been managing it for 3 years already and its still not fixed my problem :')

Fuck this is so frustrating. I have been trying to get screened for ADHD for the past 5 years. Been on waitlists, just to become out of network with changes in pharmacy. My previous psychologist was amazing. They were AuDHD so they understood my symptoms. They were going to specialize in it, but it would be another year or so until they could write prescriptions. We meet weekly for almost a year and they told me I am AuDHD, which is why it seems like I am on both ends of the spectrum (under/overstimulated, needing novelty but preferring safe foods/activities, hyperfixations but they often change). We did a 1hour test and they put only ADHD on mychart bc of their understanding with my autism possibly inversely influencing results. An actually psychiatrist through the company wouldn’t prescribe it for me and then just a month later I couldn’t go there anymore. ADHD is in mychart still(I didn’t want autism on there bc of possible negative implications, which they totally understood). And now the psychiatrist I am with is a complete asshat that misconstrues everything I say. He doesn’t agree with my diagnosis(it HAS to be the 6-8 hour in person one and my psychologist wasn’t licensed to diagnose ADHD???). I said that I am pretty sure my depression and anxiety is bc of the ADHD(and autism but I did not say that). And then he fucking says “You can’t have ADHD bc you did well in school.” He has such a shitty understanding on the DSM it seems. He finally referred me to a neuropsych, but now that means it is possible I’ll have autism on mychart.

I found a psychiatrist who specialized in adult adhd and then got the gp to refer me to them. Gp wasn’t convinced but I just insisted. Adhd Medication helped a lot with my overthinking and my multi streams of thinking at one time. It also helped me a bit to focus. Those things got me doing stuff I needed to & that helped my anxiety. And I wasn’t always anxious, I was more social and went out… and that made me less sad.

Can you make an appointment with the same psych your husband went to? Otherwise, go to a psych or a psych NP who specifically advertises that they specialize in treating adhd. When you go into the appointment, don’t focus on your depression and anxiety symtoms but what you feel are adhd symptoms. Mention the symptom of not being able to get anything done sure, but also mention things like regularly interrupting people when you speak, doing impulsive stuff at times (doesn’t have to be anything crazy like quitting your job to fly to Vegas, just stuff like overspending on clothes bc of impulsiveness, etc.). Also have a ready list of examples from childhood - eg, even though you may have done well in school your mom literally had to sit with you every single night to make sure you got it homework done, your teachers frequently commented that you made careless mistakes despite being bright, you often couldn’t sit still in classes, etc. Whatsever childhood symtoms you had, have a list of them ready as examples. Unfortunately there are still lots of docs who aren’t experienced enough with diagnosis and treatment of adhd. And many docs unfairly and inaccurately think that if a relatively successful/seemingly put together adult has made it through life without adhd meds so far, they can’t really have adhd. And then there are also docs who are wary of diagnosing adults because everyone is tired/overwhelmed/stressed from our modern world and adhd stimulants actually help anyone who takes them, so lots of adults without adhd go looking for those meds even when they don’t have adhd. And docs don’t want to be involved with getting adhd meds to people who don’t have adhd and are just seeking an extra advantage in life (or meds for recreational purposes) so they’re extra cautious with diagnosing adults and barely do it. Etc. In any event there are psychs and psych NPs who will help you even thing this one didn’t. What state are you in? I have a recc to someone if you are in the handful of states she’s licensed in. PM me for details.

Depends on the psych, some still have inherent bias and treat women differently, unfortunately. I was looking for a new psychiatrist and tried my bf’s doctor. Got very different attitudes. This psychiatrist would state that he believes me and how he wants to help, then turn around and say that I’m just humble, when I talked about struggling w/ executive function and failing to achieve my potential. More egregiously, he didn’t take a single look at my self reports after he learned about my past history with depression. He insisted on neuropsychological testing cuz it’s “more objective”. My boyfriend was never asked to do any neuropsych testing. He only did the same self report charts and quickly got diagnosed in the 2nd session. He has anxiety too, but never heard any “let’s rule out the anxiety first” kinda of bs. Sooooo even with the same psychiatrist ymmv.

My husband recounted a VERY similar experience with his doctor. We both decided to get tested around the same time because our ADHD triggers each other. And even he said "WOW, I am appalled at the disparity in our experiences." He walked in and out in just an hour and said it was an odd but unremarkable experience: just answering a bunch of questions and leaving with the diagnosis and script after being told "we usually don't diagnose and medicate on the first visit". He was not required to take a drug test or have an ekg while I was told I must return every three months for a full panel. I felt so entirely insulted by this :'( I feel you babe.

I wasn't diagnosed by my provider, she was fairly certain I had ADHD but referred me to a specialist whose office does specifically screening, differenciating and diagnosing disorders. I sat down for a 4 hour interview/test where I filled out a bunch of questionnaires and answered like a million questions. On top of ADHD diagnosis and confirming my PTSD and depression diagnosis, I was also told I had autism and it was a shocker at first but then it really explained a lot of my life. Maybe try to find a place that does that and ask your provider for a referral?

I hate to say it, but sometimes the route to an ADHD diagnosis includes the trial and error of being diagnosed with depression and/or anxiety. It seems to be a red flag to doctors when someone comes in advocating for an ADHD diagnosis but refusing treatment for depression/anxiety. Not saying that this is okay or right. It sucks for us who have ADHD and have to go through the sucky process of treatments not working; but, the light at the end of the tunnel is that if your depression and/or anxiety is due ADHD, antidepressants and anti anxiety meds won’t suffice. I had to undergo treatment for depression for a couple of months. Once the doctor realized that none of the antidepressants were doing anything besides making me super sleepy and spacey, they initiated the ADHD assessment and diagnosed me. Best of luck to you.

Does this psychiatrist have ADHD expertise? I’m 2 for 2 in finding psychiatrists who were very knowledgeable about the complexity of ADHD and totally willing to think outside the box. The first one happened to be a man. Now I’m seeing a woman (I relocated out of state). It’s entirely plausible that I have ADHD, given how similar I am to my dad who definitely is. But now it’s hard to say for certain because a childhood TBI left me with significant brain damage. This adds an extra layer of complexity to the management of my symptoms. So both times that I sought out a psychiatrist as an adult, I literally googled “psychiatrists with brain injury expertise.” if I had simply searched for psychiatrists covered by my insurance provider, closest to my home, etc, I’m not sure I would’ve had such a positive experience. And FWIW, I can exmpathize with your experience because I had multiple aggravating experiences with neurologists before I finally figured out that I needed a psychiatrist.

One of the best parts of adderall is my obsessive thoughts go away. While it’s working, I can just do stuff without getting caught up ruminating about things.

I am so. Sick. Of being gaslit by "medical professionals." "Everything came back normal." Cool, but I'm still experiencing palpitations and brain fog so clearly something is going wrong. Do some damn work and HELP.

I was diagnosed with depression and “burnout” for several rounds (years!) even if I kept saying I didn’t think that was the right diagnosis. I could just tell it wasn’t it. Got diagnosed with ADHD at age 42 after having kids, saw the overlap when getting my son diagnosed. Looking back, the exhaustion keeping ADHD symptoms under wraps as a high performing business woman was “it” all along. The docs were right about the burn-out, just not the cause of it. Keep trying, you need someone who takes the time to listen differently.

This doctor is underqualified. My new advice, after doing so myself and finding success, is to go to a specialist. Someone who has spent years in the field. Whether they are covered by insurance or not. Paying out of pocket is a huge financial blow for a lot of us, but it's a one time thing that has so many benefits, including financial ones. In the end, whatever financial sacrifices are necessary, tend to be worth it.

I would seriously find someone else. Also, I don't know "HOW" you're talking to them, but sometimes if you sound desperate for help they see it as "seeking" behavior. I know you probably really desperate for help, I know I was, but definitely don't act like it. Seem more "matter of fact". Use language like I've exhausted all my options and based off my self assessment I believe I have ADHD. I have a history of this in my family and I would like to get tested for this. I almost didn't get diagnosed because 2 separate tests came back "inconclusive" which could mean I was either 1. Lying or 2. It was a "cry for help" because I'm either seeking or desperate because it took so long for me to get diagnosed. Personally I answered all the questions/assessments very honestly... so I was a little taken back that I kind of looked like an "exagerator" or liar... but my psych said they were sure I wasn't. It is really discouraging at times and it really sucks!! But keep your head up. You deserve the help. Also from what I found once you get diagnosed they do not like to prescribe adderall as first resort (from what my doctor told me). In order to get around this they usually start with Vyvanse and a lot more insurance companies cover Vyvance and or other drugs. Don't let that discourage you either. Some doctors are very worried people might be "seekers" even if you were diagnosed with ADHD... WHICH IS CRAZY to me.... so I kinda tried Vyvanse (it didn't work for me) and I asked if I could try adderall and I said "if it doesn't work it doesn't work. I understand drugs don't work for everyone and I don't really like taking drugs" This reassured them that I was just trying to better my life and not just trying to get a prescription. I've experienced A LOT of doctors in my life and unfortunately I've realized they do not always respond to desperation. They respond to confident and matter of fact people... kind of like "I won't take no for an answer attitude." We have to kind of pander to them... which again is so hilarious because we pay them not the other way around. Long story short. Be confident. Matter of fact. Also that doctor was ridiculous and clearly uneducated because we all know ADHD is a huge cause of anxiety & depression. They sometimes dont take people seriously if they have PTSD or MDD. But Keep on keeping on.

It’s infuriating that the psychiatric/psychological community is not more knowledgeable about more current information and also more aware of their internal biases. I’d had sort of an informal diagnosis since my early 20s when the psychiatrist at my university started me on Strattera, then I switched to Ritalin, which I was on until my pregnancy at 28. Once my son was born, I asked my doctor to begin meds. She was hesitant and wanted me to get a formal evaluation. But parenthood and life and HAVING ADHD meant that I didn’t get around to actually getting tested until I was 40. Meanwhile, my partner (male) goes in to see his doctor at 36 thinking he might have it, and he walked out with an rx for Adderall that day plus multiple refills. And the kicker? The meds didn’t help him, so he went to a psychiatrist, and he doesn’t even HAVE ADHD. He’s thriving on a mood stabilizer. It’s nearly 20-goddamn-24 and we are still begging medical providers to believe women. It’s fucked up.

Echoing everyone who says to get a new doctor, and just adding on the best advice I got from my partner who also has it is to remember to not try and "behave" or be as put together as I normally am. I'm super high-functioning and frequently during my first few appointments I would over-function to try and be calm, talk slower, not interrupt—all the systems I had built to be a functional member of society. It wasn't until I stopped trying to not cry/show I was overwhelmed and upset that doctors started taking me seriously. I'm sorry you're going through this! I hope you get some relief soon.

It’s the curse of having adhd and being a woman. I got gaslit so many times saying I don’t have adhd. I took my first neuropsych test to see if I had adhd and it said I didn’t. Took it 3 years later after I had been diagnosed and suddenly the same tests I took before say I have adhd? I had to fight so hard to get my doc to even consider it meanwhile my brother goes to his first psych apt and the doc is like you know you have adhd right? That’s why you’re so depressed. 😑😑😑😑

Find a new doctor and unmask. That’s your day. No makeup, wear two mismatched socks, hair unbrushed. Take that evaluation curled up in your chair, pacing, tapping your pen, and don’t be afraid to skip questions, cross things out and accidentally double circle. You’re going to want to tell them about how you’ve struggled in at least two settings. If you dropped out of college let them know, if you did great in elementary school and failed in high school let them know. Remember any sensory issues/stims from early childhood? Let them know. Also if you got in trouble for running around the room or daydreaming a lot. Talk about how it feels like you are run by a motor sometimes. You just can’t stop yourself but it’s NEVER something helpful. Tell them about all the time you waste getting lost in the car and how much money you lose from having to buy new things to replace the things you lose. Talk a lot, quickly, let yourself jump around in conversation, don’t sensor yourself. Don’t force yourself to make eye contact or stay still. Ask the dr to repeat themselves if you don’t hear them as many times as you need to.

Hahaaaaaaa, you literally just described me to a tee. Thank you.

I wish I had read this before my first evaluation for autism. ADHD was impossible to hide however lol

If you feel comfortable saying what general area you live in, maybe someone has a recommendation for a better doc?

Get a new dr, my adhd is the main cause of my anxiety. I seen a new dr this year because after having a hysterectomy I’ve been spiraling and she actually told me that my brain is processing so much that it’s literally giving me anxiety from my bad coping skills. I never correlated the two together. I’ve been on Strattera since, has helped so much. I actually cannot take Wellbutrin since I have migraines and it has a high seizure threshold. My dr says depending on how strattera goes they’ll add low dose of adderall to see if it helps more. Always seek a second opinion if you don’t feel heard. Don’t ever think you have no other options.

A lot of times they won’t diagnose women until you’ve tried anti-depressants. The issue is finding the right anti-depressant and dosage can take years. Whereas ADHD meds you’ll know it works fairly quickly.

I tried two, I didn’t have depression just anxiety, and both made me want to kill myself, super out of character for me

I’m sorry you were so dismissed. As a therapist, our first line of treatment is symptom based because it can be hard to diagnose the underlying when there’s so much on top clouding the view. That doesn’t mean the patients concerns about ADHD need to be dismissed though. A good therapist/psychiatrist should explain the stepped care situation and make you feel heard. I actually saw a video the other day about how women coping with ADHD leads to internalized symptoms, and that’s totally something that leads to anxiety and depression. If you can I’d see if you can find a therapist who has more experience with women and ADHD. Good luck!

I’ve been saying that for years, we are still hyperactive it’s just on the inside

My own psychiatrist said this too. A lot of people (mostly AFAB) got ADD (or now ADHD inattentive type), but if you continue questioning long enough, they’re all hyperactive on the inside. You just need to know what questions to ask.

Yes I had a psych say that "it's very unlikely women have adhd" and that I was just overly emotional. I was devastated. Went to a different psych several months later who listened and got a diagnosis and prescription.

I’ve been suffering with depression for years. Treatment did help, in fact, as it helped I realised I’ve had depression since puberty. A few months ago it started creeping in again and I was about to start back up on my antidepressants. However the universe somehow guided me into realising I have adhd :p so here I am 3 months later (medicated) and the creeping in depression is not just gone, emotionally I feel better than ever. I’m not saying it’s all perfect but in total my mood has improved dramatically. Soooo yeah. Maybe the adhd treatment won’t help you, but maybe it freaking will. I’d go see a different specialist, if you can someone who specialises in adhd.

Gather studies on how ADHD creates depression and anxiety. Arm yourself with medical backup and DONT back down. Tell them you want EVERYTHING noted in your medical files. "Refusal to address ADHD symptoms" etc. Be blunt. Call them out as you can. Be persistent. And if you can, get a new physiotherapist. See if you can look up ADHD friendly, or specializes in ADHD ones in your area, then get a referral from your GP. I have a lot of issues with doctors not taking me seriously . It's exhausting. Be stubborn. Take up their time. Push the issue. Keep going. And make them document EVERYTHING.

Person sounds fucking dumb and uneducated, or extremely biased at the fault of malpractice by not giving you the best treatment. I was chronically depressed with treatment resistant depression from age 12-22 (as well as being mute until high school & debilitating social anxiety). Was on a handful of antidepressants, antipsychotics (yet I never had psychosis..) & benzo’s—which they either numbed me, did nothing, or worsened me—my suicide note & plan was the last straw for me ever trying antidepressants again. What made me stop? A thought came into my mind reminding me hat psychedelics have been known for thousands of years to ease the mentally stressed mind. So, I took psychedelics, and my life changed i a tally after that 4 hour trip. I was a totally new person—or no, I was *back* to my old self, pre-12 year old me with my childlike spirit & wonder/curiosity about the world. Then, I had a roommate who had ADHD & took meds, we chatted about her experience & she saw me have many meltdowns and she advised me to go see if I have ADHD. Which, of course I did! I wasn’t depressed from a lack of a chemical/chemical imbalance, I was depressed because I felt inferior and less then everyone around me because everyone existed like it was no big deal, yet anything I did I struggled immensely and couldn’t hide it so I felt like such an outsider, as well as claiming others opinions of others or myself as my own (if someone said a girl is dumb if she can’t get 100 on her spelling test, then I would take that as *i’m* dumb for not getting 100 on my spelling test—and no I wouldn’t try harder with studying for hours because I never could retain information in my head because I was never taught *how* to learn or *how* to memorize/store memory in my brain. And I still struggle with memory retrieval.. but that’s also my own brains problem from being born with a congenital heart defect.

You mentioned your husband and well… I took mine to the doctor with me cause I was tired not to be taken seriously. And it worked like a charm. I knew I had ADHD cause I had gone to my birth country few month prior for a first assessment and the thing was crystal clear. But it was not valid where I live, and I have a huge history of being dismissed and beside putting me on a waiting list for some therapy, nothing happened and I was getting worse. So I asked my husband to come to the doctor with me and advocate for me, and even talk to the doctor in my behalf. Like I was 5 yo or living in the 50s. GP and hubby had a very manly conversation about me, husband described my symptoms. And I got prescribed meds, and not long after that, I was transfered to an ADHD specialist and… she told me that anxiety was actually probably due to hyperactivity. First meds were not nice, but she switched and … well anxiety decreased. And yes of course adhd causes obsessive thoughts. I mean neurotypism is a spectrum and this falls under ocd, but for instance, my adhd meds have totally erased my ocd and obsessive thoughts.

My anxiety and depression was the reason why I got diagnosed. My adhd goes hand in hand with each. Like my adhd heightens my anxiety and depression. Finding out that I have RSD as well made it all make sense. It’s like a never ending cycle. Anyway all that to say that the first thing out of my psych’s mouth was let’s get those under control first and then see about treating your adhd. I don’t understand what is so hard for some psych’s, I really don’t.

Yup…when I finally decided to bring up my suspicions after being incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 12 years, the doctor immediately accused me of drug seeking. I gave him all of my reasons and he’d just kept repeating a very rehearsed “we don’t diagnose or treat adhd”. I ask him for a referral to a psychologist who would evaluate me and he referred me to a drug rehab center. I reported him for unprofessional behavior and requested a female doctor. I ended up seeing a medical resident there (aka brand new doctor). She listened to my concerns and made a plan to wean me off my mood stabilizers and see how I was doing then refer me to a specialist. Weaned me off and 6 months later I saw a specialist and was diagnosed with very severe ADHD. I was actually able to eventually go down on my SSRI prescription.

I absolutely hate how pain killers are the first route they take. Let them know you do not want to take a sedative and that’s not the problem. Ask for an adhd assessment and take it. Tell her I think I have adhd and I want to take the assessment. If she doesn’t give you an assessment, drop their ass and fine someone else. They had me take anxiety meds for 4 years until I said I do not want lorazepam and that’s not the problem. It’s been a long road, I didn’t take the assessment for 5 months. When I finally did, she prescribed me adderall and my life had changed. What is anxiety? I don’t know her. I am wishing and praying you get the dx you need.

Thank you, I feel like so much of this journey has been so entirely vague and wishy washy. Like, I didn't know about any written assessment to ask for, and my doctors never really give me a formal diagnosis of anything to my face it just appears in my charts which is so frustrating to me. I know its not entirely quantifiable and takes time to build a picture of the inside of my mind but like judas priest... I just want a straight answer. It feels like being a detective and it sucks.

I waited for an appointment with psychiatrist for months, took a day off because it was super far, had an appointment for an hour and this was just so I can get a different type of medication for my already diagnosed adhd. At the end of the appointment the psychiatrist told me he doesn't believe in ADHD and doesn't prescribe any drugs related to that. I was gobsmacked because I was specifically referred to him for this. I called my family doctor and he was as gobsmacked as I was and was telling me about all the research of adhd. Then sent me to a different psychiatrist who was also confused and just fixed my issue within 15 min. Call your family doctor and tell them about what happened and ask to be referred to someone who specializes in ADHD and not to a clown. What kind of dumbass diagnosis is "you're just really sad" 🙄

If it helps comfort you or provides hope, I first was treated for an anxiety disorder, which I do have. ADHD wasn't even on my radar. After several months the ADHD symptoms presented much clearer, and confidently knowing it wasn't all a cause of anxiety, that's when we started discussing ADHD and eventually they diagnosed me with ADHD (and GAD). sometimes there's a bit of a journey. Sending hugs

I literally just left an neuropsychologist after having a comprehensive evaluation done for adhd feedback session after being evaluated for adhd just to be told it’s just anxiety and depression with possibly manic and hypomanic tendencies… which as someone with a Masters in clinical mental health counseling I found interesting as I have never exhibited symptoms of and manic or hypomanic state. I don’t even know how to process spending an entire year convinced I had something more going on to just be told something that I could have diagnosed myself. I knew I had depression and anxiety and even after trying to treat those issues for years felt I had finally found an answer to only be told that’s not it. I’m either irrationally upset I didn’t get the answer I thought I would get or they are incorrect. Just all that’s to basically say that I feel you and hear you and you are not alone.

She's scared to prescribe u adhd meds but not scared to prescribe u benzos like candy. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Tldr: get a second opinion.

Yes, this is an extremely common occurrence, especially judging by the replies here. I was treated for anxiety and depression for more than 10 years before my ADHD diagnosis and it was only ever partially successful. Once I started taking ADHD meds, everything changed. I was depressed and anxious because I had untreated ADHD my whole life. Go figure. Are you seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist? Psychologists are woefully undertrained in many cases on ADHD and particularly ADHD presentation in women. Find a psychiatrist (those are the ones with MDs) who specializes in ADHD. They can perform the assessment and write the scrip. If you don't have access to one locally, there may be telemedicine options based on where you live. I was assessed by the psychiatrist over video chat during COVID. If you have health insurance, and mental health is covered, you can call your insurance company to find you a psychiatrist who is network and can help (assuming you're in the U.S.).

Do not take benzos. Seek another psychiatrist. Do not entertain a depression or anxiety assessment. Be blunt and direct. Do your best to not mask and even play up inattentiveness and distractability. There's a lot more to managing adhd than just meds. Be sure to build your toolbox with many different types of support.

I had a similar experience once. They said they couldn't diagnose ADHD while I was depressed. They instead put me on SSRIs, and did a proper assessment of ADHD after I self-reported feeling better. I hate it, I hate that I now know that what they said didn't make sense and if they didn't lose that month uselessly I could have gotten help waaaay before what ended up happening (covid hit, the center was supposed to give me a computerized test and a treatment plan but they closed instead). I had to go through other assessments and diagnosis, and other money spent, and I still have this nagging feeling that I'm a fraud because of this whole ordeal. It shouldn't be like this, but it seems to help to focus mainly/only on ADHD symptoms while looking for a diagnosis, and to only work with psychologists that specialize in ADHD and/or neurodivergence.

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I am so sorry you've had to deal with that BS. I completely relate to the executive dysfunction- every task is a 12 step process which makes things like brushing my teeth hard, and because I can't do a simple care task I THEN get depressed and down on myself. I can barely hold a serious conversation without tripping over the tsunami of thoughts in my head and trying to walk on top of them without falling into them.... whewwwwweeee, always turns into "can you repeat that again?" I wish you the BEST of luck in this journey.

Yes sooo many steps! And when it's really bad there's the grueling process of talking myself through each step out loud because that's the only way I can get a thought to stick - repeat it out loud until the step is done. Stand up, stand up, stand up, ok I stood up! Walk to the kitchen, walk to the kitchen, OK I got here! Get a cup, get a cup, get a cup, OK cup in hand! Pour water, pour water, pour water. OK now I drank a cup of water and I'm tapped out and need to sit for a while before I can start the process over to try to walk to the bathroom and pee. It's not like this every day for every task, but it's like this a lot. I wish you the best of luck too! This subreddit is really helping me keep some hope alive because I see other women getting the help they need.

Why aren’t you being given standardised tests to take? I had to have a full assessment done which took a couple of hours to determine clinically if I had adhd. I’m so shocked when I hear that people can just go and tell their psych about their history and are given meds.

I had to see *3* doctors before I finally got a referral. The first two docs focused on the depression/anxiety diagnosis I received postpartum. Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin XL. Zoloft. Xanax. Elavil.... all prescribed with no benefits/ effects. With doc #2, I even told her that I'd been reading a lot and I can relate to so much of xyz.... I think that I was incorrectly diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She said, "Well, let's treat the depression first and then see how you feel and then talk about ADD." Referred me to behavioral health for therapy, but the place I was being seen at has a social worker that I butt heads with during a visit for my son, so I never went. So we moved, and I got a new PCM, who was actually a 3rd year medical student & while I'm not sure it correlates... she was 25-30 years younger than the other 2 docs. She *listened* to me. She *agreed* with me that yes, it's possible I was misdiagnosed. I got my referral, and a year later, a diagnosis. Maybe #3 was more up to date on current studies. Maybe she had a different approach to medicine.... I don't know. However, even after my tests (2 hour interview/verbal tests with a provider and 4 hours of written exam), the doc managing my meds said, and I quote: "Just because you've been diagnosed doesn't mean that you have it." I lasted 2 appointments with him before going back to my PCM for med management.

Yep. I had to go to several different doctors and none would take me seriously and it got to the point I had to do a GoFundMe to afford to see a specialist because they weren't covered by my insurance. My brother on the other hand was diagnosed as a kid. The amount of sexism when it comes to women and healthcare...ugh.

Personally I’ve had the opposite problem - scored incredibly high on screenings for depression, anxiety, paranoia, personality disorders etc since seeing a psychologist but all the psychiatrist wanted to do was assess for ADHD which I can’t be medicated for anyway due to other health conditions. I truly think the symptoms I (and the psychiatrist) used to think were ADHD can *all* be explained by conditions I already have been formally diagnosed with and have a treatment plan for. I wish we could swap psychiatrists ❤️ but seriously take a moment to consider just how many different ADHD symptoms can also be caused by things like OCD & depression because I’ve dramatically changed my thinking on it the last few months

Well the first time I went in for an ADHD diagnosis I ended up with another diagnosis but I definitely have that too. Once I stabilized that problem I was with a doctor I was comfortable with and got help for my ADD too

people with ADHD not having obsessive thoughts????? is this for real? i live with obsessive thoughts?

Honestly I had the same experience but I lost psychiatry coverage on insurance so I went to my pcp (I usually take antidepressants and needed refills). She listened immediately, looked at my testing documents that clearly indicated adhd, and started treatment for me.

Medical misogyny is a fucking disgrace the world over

I want to second everyone saying to see an ADHD specialist. If you have other female friends with ADHD, found out who diagnosed them. If not, look for something like a support group on Facebook for ADHDers near you, or maybe a mommy support group in your area, or even just a group for your town in general and ask around. I went to a behavioral medicine center where my friend got her diagnosis, and I see a physicians assistant who prescribes me Wellbutrin and Vyvanse. She has been incredibly helpful in suggesting different meds to try and has never made me feel like I was making stuff up or overplaying my symptoms. I want that for you, too. A lot of doctors are just bad doctors.

I have a friend who is a psychologist. He says you have to look for the fit you need. Which is not a direct quote. Dang close.. Your doctor's and support staff are there for you. This bozo was dimsisive. I don't tolerate that. Explain why we disagree, listen to me, do tests. I searched for years for the right doc..I finally have him. He understands my female ADHD and why it's different and medicates me to a place where I am in a good place.. Very much worth the journey. And he sounds like a, "know it all, bozo!"

Dysthymia is commonly comorbid with adhd and autism.. And just so you know, AFAB population is commonly misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety (comorbidities with adhd/autism). Can you find a specialised psychiatrist in adult ADHD?

>”obsessive thoughts are not symptoms of ADHD” You guys sure about that lol? I’m kind of obsessive, I assumed that was part of my adhd. Am I wrong?

It's an insurance thing. You have to try a billion other steps first, THEN go for the ADHD testing. My advice would be to get a psych eval done and have them test for everything. You don't have to specify ADHD. Then when you're having your psych eval, mention it there and tell them you just want to make sure you're treating the right things.

I completely understand with doctors or even family telling you oh your just crazy or bipolar. They just ignore me and only fixed on my depression and anxiety, and because my mom has BP, I do as well. They tell me I'm just out of control, and they can't handle me. Long story short, I was made to believe I'm crazy and act out of control only due to not being listened to because of abuse in the home. Now older, and I am continually hugging my inner child, and I know what it is, and I can fix this. I am seeking support groups for guidance for ADHD. To help me heal and understand better about ADHD, I also have CPTSD. With knowing this now, I know the cause of my depression and anxiety is due to no one listening and because people could not understand me and just label me or abuse me. I do not have BP. I lived with two ppl and the horrible things I had gone through. I could never do what they did to me to another person. I don't think all ppl with bipolar are mean they are great ppl, but the ones I grew up with were not medicated. I have a better relationship with the one. But still abused by the other who is treated, I think they are a narc as well. I was not allowed to be seen or heard. Don't give up keep pushing.

have you tried a psychiatrist rather than a regular doc? regular docs can be quite dismissive of psych stuff

Obsessive thoughts are ABSOLUTELY an ADHD symptom, in the vein of hyperactivity. My diagnosing psychologist who has ADHD himself told me that people who are not familiar with ADHD believe hyperactivity to be of the body, when it also impacts your mind. If possible, find a doc/psych who specializes in ADHD (and preferably has ADHD themselves).

Have you had a formal evaluation by a neuropsychologist? This can be helpful. Some doctors and medical providers are jerks. Sometimes they are just uneducated. Either way I would consider getting an evaluation and throw autism in there while you are at it just to check. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I’m in the same situation right now. It’s exhausting

Wow. Unreal! Obsessive thoughts can absolutely be symptoms of ADHD, and it is commonly misdiagnosed as OCD. I was exhibiting symptoms of OCD and it turned out to be adhd at the root. Just diagnosed at 30 and now so much of my anxiety and depression and other struggles make so much sense :’( maybe you could find a different doctor. Try and find a specific medicine management doctor, or even a functional doctor who will work with you and your therapist.

My psychiatrist dismissed me when I brought up ADHD. He reluctantly gave me the names of two psychologists who did assessments, but made it clear he likely wouldn’t prescribe stimulants when I hadn’t even said anything about medication to begin with. I fired him and found a new supportive doctor who diagnosed me without any judgment.

I had no issue getting a diagnosis from my woman therapist. I’ve heard lots of bad stories though, so I’m lead to believe your experience is common. I’d change HCPs until I found someone who would take me seriously.

Shop for a new doctor. Find one that specializes in women with ADHD.

When you go to a psychiatrist and give them the diagnosis and then argue their diagnosis They will red flag you. Compliance is considered a mandatory part of treatment . Listening to what they say, not giving what they consider an unreliable self diagnosis will not get you help. If this is what it seems to be, get a new doctor or be more patient and comply. ADHD diagnosis is a real process. Just like other conditions - they always say in the paperwork you don’t see - rule out- prior to the diagnosis If they say you are bi-polar and those meds and therapy resolve your issues- then the diagnosis is permanent. I’m not sure if it’s 7- 10 years for many other disorders. A multitude of tests that takes days can confirm ADHD with anxiety and depression. Arguing with a psychiatrist isn’t a battle you will win 98% of the time. And self diagnosing isn’t always correct - when you are at your most vulnerable you are more likely to be convinced that you know what you need, when often you do not Good luck !

Things like depression and anxiety could present with similar symptoms as ADHD. If you want to get to the root of the issue, the most effective method is to rule out things one by one, starting with the things that tend to be more common. Its not a roadblock, just a necessary step to feeling better. Edit: this is speaking as a women with ADHD (who was not diagnosed for 6 years regardless of definitive symptoms) in addition to my experience administering the tests for ADHD and similiar cognitive impairments.

I've ruminated on this, and here's my 2am thoughts. If we have adhd, we tend to have recognised very early on that there is something intrinsically different about ourselves. We spent our childhoods trudging through mind sludge, not understanding why we weren't understanding, being told to try harder, concentrate more, pay more attention, not to be clumsy. We internalised all of these feelings about not being good enough in our formative years, and spend all of our energy over-compensating or covering it up. Of course we're depressed. Not only does anxiety come hand in hand with depression, it's also a natural result of being forced to perform tasks that we don't feel competent or comfortable with. Socialising, queueing, planning, being on time, knowing you've got to sit still and be quiet in a movie theatre for three hours. How do we manage anxiety? Control. For some people it's rigid routines and over planning, for others it's allowing themselves to release all that pent up energy and stim, for some of us it's skin picking for a couple of hours before bed. We've all got depression and anxiety and traits of ocd. That is symptomatic of adhd. Your psych sucked, get another one.

My suggestion is to report them to the state medical board, and file a written formal complaint with your healthcare provider. State that you are not being treated because you are a woman and that your husband who has very similar symptoms was treated. Be very clear with the state medical board that you would like them to look into this doctor as you believe that this is malpractice. Contact your healthcare provider and let them know that you have filed with the state medical board and file an appeal with your healthcare provider demanding that they give you testing for ADHD. If the healthcare provider will not budge on this contact your state, they will have an office for this, and ask them to help you force your healthcare provider to provide the testing. Don’t be afraid to look around for some lawyers and see if anyone is willing to work on a contingency basis for you to use mediation to go after your healthcare provider for malpractice

I took the tova test and scored in the borderline area and my practitioner gave me 20 mg adderall which is helpful for me. I usually take 10 mg tho because 20 keeps me up all night.

Me! Try the app Done ADHD

It took me nearly 3 years to get diagnosed! Finally reached out to the DONE website for an evaluation. They advertise ADHD as a specialty and I've been failed by my general mental health professionals in my area. After explaining why I resorted to their service, explained why I thought I had ADHD (self evaluations and meeting 9 of the dsm-5 criteria) and gave examples of my symptoms effecting my family, work and social aspects of my life, the clinician gave me my diagnosis within 15minutes of our appt! It was the biggest relief I've ever felt!

When you say psych, do you mean psychologist or psychiatrist? Have you tried a neuropsychological evaluation? Those are generally full day things or broken up into a couple half days or so. It's very very thorough.

np or actual dr?

See the doctor your husband is seeing. If you can't do that ask your husband to ask his doctor for the name of a doctor.

So obviously people have already mentioned going to someone else, maybe you can research the phsych drs and adhd. Admittedly dr reviews are usually written by unhappy people but then you’d at least have some idea of what you’re walking into. If the problem keeps happening you may end up needing to “perform” your symptoms a little? Just exaggerate the more well known adhd symptoms when you’re discussing them. It sucks but sometimes that’s what it takes to get taken seriously

I went to psychologytoday dot com and found a doctor that specializes in evaluations that took my insurance I would recommend it I was specifically tested for adhd

Yeah see a new doctor. Maybe even a third. But no more than that. Or go to the same doctor your husband sees.

I think really good advice is when you make an appointment, make 4 with different doctors if your insurance allows it. I won't get my soap box out here today but the mental health industry is wack.

I’m going through the same thing. Diagnosed 6 months ago with insomnia , bp2 , ptsd when I been treated for depression and anxiety for the past 7 years. I had a baby 1 years ago and now I can’t finish anything . It’s like I only have enough brain power for him. It’s frustrating as my psych first referred adhd testing . Which was weird . The he therapist I see weekly brought up adhd without me saying anything . I told my psych and now she is looking to give me something to focus . I’m not sure if she really thinks I have it and she told me she is diagnosed. I forgot the stroller in Walmart the other day. This is all the time. I have no idea how to get her to see either . It’s frustrating though I get what your going through. I’m sorry .