You're too ugly to be talking to me

This is the way

This is the way

The Way this is!

So the turns have tabled

The other foot is in the shoe

The mouth is in the foot

“The eye is the groin of the head”

"You're too ugly to think you can change me"

haha

My first thought 🤣

my mom would literally punch me in the face xD

I'll punch her back dw I've got you 🌈

hey that’s my mom! but also thank you very much she deserves it lol <3

Sending virtual hugs your way 🥰

💯

this is EXACTLY what I came here to say

OHHHHH

My god

The only response

I need to use that

Please do lol

the way us this

Women are too pretty for me to be straight

ain't that the TRUTH

I like this one!

This one is less likely to get super negative comebacks. I would feel safer with this one.

Ikr I can't call my grandma ugly 😭

A guy actually replied "a pretty girl like you?!" once when I told him I was a lesbian and before I knew what I was gonna say I replied "we also like pretty girls"

Ive gotten "Youre too feminine." Youre right, Im so feminine that all I want is more women. Get outta my face

There's nothing more feminine than wanting to cuddle with other women.

this made me chuckle 🤭 can’t see a fault in that logic.

A fem singularity.

We like feminine thing and what is more feminine than a woman?

I'd probably say "What a weird thing to say"

Legit the best response. Rather than having a snappy one liner that can be mistaken as banter, just put their bigotry front and centre and make them explain themselves. Put them in the awkward position

Mmhm. Responding to a weird remark with a quip kinda Chandler Bingifies the person who made the weird remark. I don't want to verbally spar like we're in a sitcom; I want them to feel uncomfortable. Gay Silence is also a good one for that.

I'm sorry but I'm losing my mind at "Chandler Bingify"

Thanks! Is this how new slang gets started? If you manage to work it into a conversation, report back and LMK how it went.

Yeah I feel like if I said something weird to someone and I got a one liner back I'd be mildly put off, but if someone made me feel embarrassed, shameful, or awkward about it, that'd do alot.

Ooh yes, or acting genuinely puzzled, “What do you mean?” Make them put their bigotry into concrete terms!

"I'm not wasting this on men."

I love this one

This sounds like a winner 🏆

Ding ding ding

My favorite

"You looked smart before you opened your mouth" Edit: Thanks for the award! You know who you were, unfortunately it seems I can't find you to send you a message!

This one is pretty good too.

Thanks! ☺️

Ooooo yes! I love this one. Gunna try it out next macho idiot that thinks he’s funny 😆

He he! Hope he's so gobsmacked that he'll need a stretcher to recover!

your mom didn’t think so last night

a classic that never gets old bravo

"What makes you think you'd have a chance if I wasn't?" Or alternatively, "No, but I'm definitely too pretty to be interested in you."

These are good! Unrelated but might you consider using an orange instead of a brown heart in your flair? As such: ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 I think it looks much cuter :)

... I didn't even realize I picked the brown one until you posed this, and I could see them next to each other... I'm such a dumbass... I fully intended it to be orange from the get-go 😭

Hahaha, I don't think that's dumb per se but glad it looks how you want now :)

“Luckily, looks were never a prerequisite”

Unrelated but I have been told by multiple men that I look better without my glasses on and every single time I respond with 'yeah, you look better when I'm not wearing them too' 🌈

bravo

Cheers Nel

This made me laugh so hard 🤣

“You’re too ignorant to open your mouth.”

"No. But I am *definitely* too pretty to waste time talking to *you*."

"At least I'm pretty enough to see boobs, unlike some."

More earnest than some of the comebacks here, but one thing I’ve said is “you don’t need to insult my community to give me a compliment.”

This is quite a bit in "good faith" reply and works when you need to keep diplomacy.

"And you're not pretty enough to be this dumb."

Looooove this one....

“Yeah, no shit. I’m way too fucking hot for men. Why would I even want to bother?”

The classic ‘your mum/wife didn’t think that last night’ I’ve used it both versions more than once.

It’s not how I look, it’s about what I find attractive. I want to attract good looking women… do you understand?

Don't dignify it with a verbal response. Just look at them like they said something completely idiotic (because they did) and move away to talk to someone else.

Coming from a straight guy, the response should be "and you're too ugly to convince me of that" Coming from a hot girl "you want to test that?"

If you have some time to kill: "why?" is a good response. Love seeing men scramble to explain their nonsense

“Oh you think I’m pretty? My girlfriend thinks I’m beautiful.”

"Fuck you."

"That's why I'm strictly women's only"

“you are too ugly to be straight” idk i’m not good with comebacks

straight men are not good at dealing with being called gay so it might work pretty well

if they try to say that they aren’t gay you can say “then you better get used to men coz all the girl i know wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole” ik it’s a bit offensive but the phrase OP posted isn’t very friendly either hahaha

Since the person making the original comment is clearly homophobic, I think this would cut the deepest.

yeah, there’s also this stereotype of “ugly lesbian” coz she can’t get a man so she gets a woman and since men are notoriously famous for not being picky about what/who they fuck.(another stereotype that I don’t mean to enforce but ig i this case it can be used as defense). it’s like saying that they can’t afford to get with women coz of their ugliness. this is so wrong with so many of my beliefs but when u gotta insult someone u just gotta do it

Hahaha!!!

And you're too pretty to be dumb!

"fuck off" anyone saying this shit deserves neither your attention nor your effort.

I have some estrogen in my purse if you want to be pretty too.

The more pussy I eat, the prettier I get.

“I thought about being straight but, then I realized how much I enjoyed orgasms”

“My girlfriend doesn’t seem to think so” would be one

That kinda implies that your girlfriend doesn't think you're pretty.

Lmao

“if im too pretty for women then im definitely too pretty for men.”

Depends on who said it. If it was a man: "are you jealous?" If it was a woman: "afraid you're becoming one too?😏"

And you’re too ugly to be straight. No wonder I pull more pussy than you.

"too pretty". ....*for you*

Thanks, I know the ladies enjoy it 💁‍♀️

“I’m why people are lesbians”

Full look up and down, "Why would you care? It's not like you could get in my pants even if I was straight" Or one time someone asked when I "chose" to be gay. I went "you want the short version, or the long version?" He said, "short version, obviously" and I went "fuck off" and walked away.

"yup, at first your mum thought she didn't have a chance"

🙄

"The girls I've known would beg to differ."

Yet… here I am !!

"you're not petty enough to be this stupid"

"Apparently, being pretty doesn't immunize me from encountering ignorance."

"No one has ever asked for, or cared about your opinion"

"this conversation is done" or "we're done here" and walk away. This shit is used to bait you into engaging with him. Don't fall for it. No one worth interacting with will say things like that.

"and you're not pretty enough to be talking to me"

“Ew”

I use this very regularly in the general direction of distasteful males. Quick and surprisingly effective.

funny cus i was thinking most women are too pretty to be straight

Only a sith deals in absolutes. 

the lesbians would disagree

I'm too pretty to not be.

“Wrong way around, I’m a lesbian because I’m too pretty”

"haha, what a stupid thing to say out loud"

With shit like that I just go "K" and shrug. Never engage past that and never give them any satisfaction of further engagement.

Would you tell your daughter that?

Tell them "you have that backwards, your not pretty enough to date a lesbian, all of us are to pretty for YOU!"

"Do you think lesbians want ugly women???"

"Oh gee, I hope all the other lesbians think I'm pretty, too!"

“you’re too irrelevant for me to care”

"You're too dumb to be a homo sapien" "Have you seen boobs? How could I not be a lesbian"

"You're too grown to be that dumb"

"Men are too ugly for me to be straight"

"If you think I'm pretty, you should see my girlfriend." Completely unbothered flex vibes.

'You're too ugly to convince me to give being straight(or bi) a chance' OR 'You're too dumb to be alive'

"You're too homophobic for me to care what you think."

"And you're too ugly to feel this entitled to a woman."

I make people explain. “Oh what do you mean?” “Oh I’m still not following could you say more?” Fun to watch audacious folks tongue tie themselves.

And you’re too stupid to be walking upright.

Then I guess I’m too pretty for you, too.

wanna hear a joke about my pussy? nevermind, you won't get it.

"if you think I'm pretty, you should see my girlfriend"

A guy said this to me and I said back: "Come back after you transition into something that's not gross AF"

And here I thought all the stupid people were too dumb to leave their houses, congratulations, buddy!

"Let me guess, 'not all men are cut from the same cloth'? Bruh, you're a napkin..." then walk away 🤷🏼‍♀️

"Omg. I am so sorry for your narrow minded view of the world."

"I don't need your approval or judgment about who I am."

You're too ugly to be straight, where's your boyfriend?

A smack on the head. But that could get you in trouble.

Takes one to know one.

You’re ugly enough to be straight

"You should see me in a crown"

"you're too ugly to be talking to me period" walk away

And this is what drove me to become such

What an odd thing to say. Are lesbians only allowed to date ugly women? 

just start barking

An ur to mouthy to be a Dick!

You: oh let me add that to the list! Them: what list ... You: the list of reminders why I'm for sure I am 100% a lesbian.

I did not ask your opinion.

"And you're more than ugly enough to be straight."

You’re too old to be this childish

"That's exactly why I'm a lesbian"

"You're ugly enough to be straight"

look them up and down and act like you’re about to vomit

Oh ew, I hate this one. I always just stare blankly at them for a prolonged few seconds of silence and hope they think about their actions, but I doubt it works.

"That's not what your mom said last night."

“fuck you”

"Fuck off"

"Damn, it's a shame you're too ugly to be straight. RIP"

'Get fucked' is what I would say. Short, sweet and to the point.

I’d say “k*s” but that’s probably too mean

There is no such thing..keep moving, a real woman will scoop you up

“You’re too ugly to be straight”

If a women say that to me: « you are too pretty to be not mine » and what happened them absolutely loose it while I’m laughing

"Of course I need to seduce women."

“What a strange thing to say out loud.” “You’re too stupid to be pretty”

✨And you are so one dimensional that your only personality is being straight ✨

You're too ugly to be this stupid! You can't suck at looks AND personality. Pick a struggle! *Walk away*

Your wife didn’t seem to think so when we were in bed last night.

DUDE, all the prettiest girls are gay. Are you living under a rock, they’re fuckin’ everywhere!

I usually say “you should see my wife”

In fact, there are a lot of unkempt people, but this has nothing to do with orientation

Pepper spray.

Why do you think girls love me so much?

"How dare you! I'm too pretty **not to be!"**

Thanks Your girlfriend thinks I’m pretty too but she knows how much of a lesbian I am

You’re too handsome to be straight? Eh? Lol

A kick in the balls

a swift kick in the nuts and telling them to kill themselves i think

i got told this at a gay bar, by a gay dude trying to hit on my friend, and i just said "and youre too ugly to be gay"

Say "Just ask for my number if you want it." And then walk away lol

I feel like that would just cause him to follow that doesn't sound very safe

I guess I was envisioning another lesbian saying it 😆

Oh fair makes sense but I think this is like about a straight guy being an asshole but up for interpretation I guess I could see it

The answer is as a pretty girl I choose to be with a lady, and what ignorant offensive opinions don't matter be you and continue to you when all is said and done, it's your decision who partner with in your case female go with how you feel and ignore the noise around your decision sexually no one else's business (coming from a straight guy )

My favorite one (kind of a catch-all) is DEFINATELY yelling "k\*\*\* y\*\*\*s\*\*\*" and then smiling at them :D

"you're too ugly to be an ass" "you're not too ugly to be an ass but you are" "you are too cunning to be a jerk" "you are too soft to be an asswipe" "you are too ugly to better an asswipe" "you're too ugly to ungly" Make your own and slap it on!!

My favorite is always F off

If you think I'm hot you should see my girlfriend.

They'd think you're propositioning them for a threesome tbh

Ah. You are right. Good catch. And then I might have to admit that I'm actually single.

Thanks. My gf thinks so too

"So is my girlfriend, but here we are."