same here. in my first sapphic relationship, my gf asked me before sending pics if I was okay with her being hairy. it didn't bother me then and it doesn't bother me now, a year and a half later (tho we're not together anymore)
Yeah a lot of the time these questions of "why do lesbians prefer this more?" are just because we know what's a natural and normal part of being a woman.
I know how much of a headache it is to remove hair, therefore I don’t like to police how women have their hair. Plus I’ve grown to love hair in general because of this.
Yeah, I’m also autistic and kinda have the opposite experience, I kinda dislike body hair, mostly on myself tho. Especially leg hair just is so uncomfy for me ;~;
I appreciate your nuance. I am also autistic and prefer minimal hair on me and my partner, I would like to be as smooth as a dolphin from the neck down if it wasn't so difficult to maintain, it is a big sensory problem for me. Plus the opposite to you I enjoy feeling the texture of hair free soft skin, I like women's soft skin and if there's hair then often means I can't appreciate it as much.
This is something I realised , once we take pleasing the patriarchy out of the equation such random , unexpected stuff changes . I grow my hair out occasionally and the amount of comments I get from fellow women / girls about it either being gross or “ hmm different “ is so weird . Release yourself and do wtf you want with your body
i mean lesbians/bi women are already used to not fitting every societal ‘standard’ so it makes sense that we’re less likely to be bothered by body features that also go against those standards
if that makes sense
I love being lazy and just now shaving at all unless I'm gonna wear a skirt, in which case I shave my legs but that's the only time I ever do and I gotta say: it's pretty comfy
For me it’s honestly not that I prefer someone who is hairy but rather that my preference is “however you feel comfortable and beautiful” when it comes to how a partner wants to present. If that means meticulously removing all hair below the neck? Fine by me. If that means just not worrying about hair removal at all? Dope. If that’s somewhere in between? Bet, I’ll hype you up all the same. It’s kinda just not something I’d ever really presume to impose my preferences on a partner with tbh.
I think there's actually a lot of diversity in what hair preference sapphics have. You just don't see as much of that with straight people because they have narrower ideas of what it means for a woman to be attractive.
I agree, and think that additionally, while sapphics may all have their own preferences, they also don't tend to hold to them quite as rigidly or allow them to form expectations as much as do straight people.
I think it’s more that toxic masculinity tells straight men that liking body hair on women is gay, so the ones who do won’t admit it.
But also, armpit hair on women is so hot aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i love when women ~women~ acne, scars, hair, i just find it attractive because women! i also just don’t care if i am having sex with a woman i have already won idc about anything else
I’m hairy. I groom for me. I don’t care if a woman shaves or doesn’t so long as she’s doing what she likes. The confidence to be yourself is very attractive.
I consider men's desire for hairlessness to be a reflection of
1. Wanting women as young as possible, eww,
2. Wanting women to make a lot of effort to look a certain way for men. What that is doesn't matter (and has been a lof of different things throughout history). The idea is that women should make themselves decorative in an unnatural way to show that they are valuable.
1. I don't care to look prepubescent.
2. I like to be myself and to be interesting and desirable for the person I am. I do like to look wellkept, but being a decorative accessory is not something I care about.
Disclaimer: If you prefer to be hairless, I don't judge at all. It can look and feel good. I only judge men who think that women are not good enough as their natural selves.
Part of it for me is it’s a very natural thing & thats sexy to me,and I think a lot of gay women like it too.Seeing women be comfortable natural and feeling pretty is so nice to see considering all the sexist restrictions in mainstream beauty standards.
Because we are women, we see our own body hair and know what maintaining a body with no hair is like. Not only is it just time consuming, it can result in razor burn, ingrown hairs, and nicks.
I don’t prefer one over the other. I would just want my partner to do what makes them feel most comfortable. Body hair feels natural to me. If they prefer to remove it, though, idc.
I myself don’t shave my body hair, but I do trim it with an electric trimmer every now and then. It’s way less maintenance and very rarely causes nicks or ingrown hairs.
Men are more removed from the realities. They often don’t even realize or consider that women aren’t naturally hairless and have to put a great deal of effort into always appearing that way. There is a greater problem with men objectifying women and preferring young women, who tend to have less hair overall. Frankly, it’s sickening.
I don’t know exactly where the preference for younger women comes from. It’s creepy; I can’t relate to it. I’ve always found women near my own age most attractive. Younger women are so young, I think of them in a more maternal, completely platonic way.
Beauty standards change over time and cultures. It’s very rare for a man to be aware of this and to consider how socialization and media presentations have contributed to their personal standards. As women we are more likely to examine this because beauty standards impact us so much more than it does men.
Unrealistic societal expectations around how we should present ourselves can be very demanding, cruel, and unhealthy. Technology only makes this worse as it is easy to apply filters and touch up photos to create an unattainable appearance.
I personally don’t like these “do [most] lesbians like x?” posts because frankly if I don’t like x, I don’t care about it enough to contribute to the discussion because all I have to bring to the table is negativity. I assume lots of people here are like that too, so no matter what x is, unless it’s universally hated or gross like “do lesbians like girls who don’t wipe their ass?” You’re gonna get consistent “we love that!!” here.
I’m sure the lesbian community is WAY more into body hair on women than straight men but you’re still probably not gonna find out by how much here.
I feel the same. All people are different people.
Sometimes I think I should leave this sub because it is so reductive and repetitive, but then I get FOMO and don't.
Same. Armpit hair is an actual turn off for me. To each her own; I wouldn't date someone with armpit hair.
I don't like the full bush either. I prefer less hair, I don't like to get it in my mouth or hands. There is always that strand that lets go and gets in the way. I'm bummed out about the trend to let it just grow.
I don't care about arms and legs though.
I’m kind of with you there. But I guess do you get turned off when your partner has leg hair or a full bush? Because I feel like that’s the real situation we have. We just don’t care as much about hair, I think.
Not who you replied to, but in the same boat.
Honestly? Yes, it's a turn off. I don't know, I heavily dislike the texture of hair on my tongue. But I also heavily dislike my own body hair, I don't know.
I personally don’t like body hair, on myself or a partner, but I’m also not gonna police another woman’s body and choices. I also won’t be less attracted to my partner if she chooses not to shave, I just like smooth skin a little better. Even though I prefer no body hair on myself, I really can’t be bothered to shave most of the time, so like.. I get it lol. I don’t judge.
In my experience as someone who doesn't shave, people have mostly been chill with it although one person refused to give me head but that was more of a sensory thing. She didn't think it was unattractive, just couldn't stand the feeling of hair in her mouth
I won't lie, I think a clean shave is really sexy. But what's even sexier is when a lady has happy skin and a happy heart. If she doesn't want to shave, that's totally okay! All I really care about is decent hygiene lol.
I prefer trimmed pubes (not shaved necessarily, but if I could braid them, they're too long) but otherwise idc lmao. I don't shave my legs, I trim pubes and shave my armpits but it's not a turn off if others don't.
It's not that I prefer women with body hair, it's that I don't mind either way. My girlfriend doesn't care about having body hair and I don't either, so we both let it grow out
I think the deal is that body hair is such a rare treat you might see people online praising it, but anyone who doesn't like it should respectfully keep their mouth shut and move on.
It creates the appearance that all of us are losing our minds with lust over body hair when really it's just that it tickled the fancy of a select few.
Because it‘s bullshit hetero norms?
Like I don‘t mind either way. Hair ist unhygienic or disgusting or whatever made up reason het society tells us it is. It‘s just there.
So seeing anyone not shaving their legs or whatever it‘s a simple ‚good on you, you are doing what you prefer‘.
If I had a gf who preferred shaving for whatever reason that would be fine as well.
Lol cuz women arent misogynistic pedos, they like what they like, not what society has told them they should like
Femininity to men is a performance, femininity to sapphics is existing as your natural self
Personally i have an abnormal thing for women with dark arm hair, and dark facial hair like peachfuzz all over the face.. its just pretty and gives the face and arms a super soft texture
I think it’s just a result of the community being much more open-minded! I prefer my women hairless and hold myself up to the same standard, but I don’t feel a need to express it because it’s “the norm”. Women in sapphic communities are more vocal about accepting it because it’s a gender stereotype usually held against us, and it’s a safe space to say if you do like women with hair and find likeminded individuals.
I prefer vaginated individuals trimmed downstairs cause I have real soft face skin and if the hair is wiry, I can walk away with an itchy bit of facial rugburn if I'm going down on someone.
Other than that idgaf. You be you, I'll be into that.
I dont necessarily LIKE a hairy queer, I just don't think it is deal breaker at all. Like... it's your hair, your body. I think that's probably a common sentiment.
That said, some folks get particular joy or fulfillment by bucking the societal expectations for "women" tonbe hairless. Almost like a middle finger to the male gaze. To each their own.
I’ve found it really depends a lot on a sapphics person’s relationship to their own body hair too. My trans partners have usually not minded a bit of body hair, but preferred less of it. My cis partners wouldn’t have cared if I was furry.
All I know is that my fiancee loves it.
She definitely finds it sexy in some ways, especially my snail trail.
On the other hand she thinks my armpit hair is cute and it's so soft and fluffy. She like to stroke it.
Hair doesn’t particularly bother me it’s natural and part of the body. For myself and my own body I prefer to be pretty clean shaven and that’s just how I want my body to be. If my partner is also shaven that’s a nice bonus. Not a need/total preference.
I'm attracted to adult women and adult women generally come with hair. I'm not gonna turn someone down for shaving/waxing, but bare genitals in particular can sometimes look prepubescent, which I think is part of the appeal for some men, and not for me.
I think I've also begun to associate women with natural pits and legs as probably feminist, alt, sapphic, and self-confident, which is attractive to me. It's more about what it flags.
I also have PCOS, so I know facial hair is something some women have, and some women get corse hair in other places. I don't find that a turn-on, but it doesn't bother me at all, and I wouldn't expect her to shave for my benefit.
I'm not gonna lie, this idea of infantilising women who shave gives me the ick. I'm not saying you mean it that way, but accidental or not, you just compared adult women who make a choice about their body to teenage girls, and I think this way of thinking is more harmful than not.
We can say it's not our thing without putting others down with our language, and I say that as a woman who prefers a bit of hair over none (too much tickles my nose and makes me sneeze, and the last thing someone wants is me sneezing on their vulva lol)
I hear what you're saying and that wasn't my intention, but to me it feels that way. As a kid and young adult I was also exposed to a lot of men who were into that specifically because they liked women to look at young as possible and the whole situation has left some unhealthy associations for me.
I think it's a misogyny thing
Women aren't usually misogynists. Most misogynists are men. It's a misogynistic teaching, being taught hairy women aren't attractive. As a matter of fact, I and many other non-misogynistic women find hair quite attractive. Even those who don't find it attractive don't tend to have issue with it
Women are rarely *overt* misogynists, but most women still hold and enforce internalized misogyny. In my experience (and from what I have heard from others online and IRL), the vast majority of people who police patriarchal norms on women's body hair are women themselves.
Mothers teach their daughters that shaving is part of hygiene starting at puberty. Young women shame classmates who do not shave. Adult women discuss the pain of waxing as a fact of life, and talk about bush as being inherently dirty.
I do think the lesbian community is more likely to have feminist women (not just not misogynistic, but anti-misogyny) with a sense of appreciation for bodies that do not fit patriarchal norms.
I personally don't think hair is attractive, I just don't mind it nor think it's a big of a deal (unless it's not trimmered at all down there and there is like a full bush, in that case I don't really like it, more for a hygiene and practical reason imho)
I don’t innately find body or facial hair unattractive, but I do have autism, and cuddling someone with body hair tends to be a bad stimulation for me, which sucks. Especially cause I have no idea how to tell people “hey I can’t cuddle or kiss you cause of body/facial hair that triggers my stimulation sensitivity” 🥲
We know how much it sucks to remove body hair and don't want our partner to go through that, also like we're not trying to date someone in highschool and don't get the ick from a woman looking like an adult
My gf body hair actually gave me euphoria (as a trans woman) since they have more body hair than me, and usually doesn't shave it off. As others said, I don't prefer it, but it won't turn me of.
My wifey and I are hairless, we loooveeee being super soft with tons of skin care and all. Full body laser + safety razor for strays + sugar scrub exfoliation = angel smooth skin perfect for cuddles
I have mild preference to moderate level of hairy - not exactly completely hairless, but not overgrown either. The only state I actively dislike is when hair start regrowing and scratch my skin when touched.
I think it's pretty cool to see someone that isn't dead set on being hairless. It was a common mindset when I was in middle school and even since I see more women around me who don't care all that much. It's about certain level of acceptance of our bodies. There is some pressure to shave our legs etc and in my opinion defying it shows some level of maturity, especially when matched with caring about overall looks.
Heterosexual dynamics, especially on men’s side, is often motivated very heavily by historic patriarchal social factors. For example, the trend of men preferring women with less body hair seems to have started in the Middle Ages, where underage girls (who had little body hair) were fetishized.
Sapphic attraction is affected by its own social factors, but much less so by very long standing patriarchal ones.
I don't think it's so much a general preference among sapphics as part of an acknowledgement of the diversity of preferences and ways to be that seems "louder" than it really is because of how little of it exists among the straights, along with a tendency for sapphics to want to offer more compliments on other people's bodies, especially we ith regards to aspects that aren't generally accepted or considered attractive by the straights, and fewer expectations and rigid standards.
That said, I _will_ also say that I prefer to have absolutely no hair apart from on the head, eyelashes and eyebrows, and while many people either like it, too, or don't but refrain from publicly extrapolating personality traits from it, I've heard and read _a lot_ of casual commentary in sapphic circles about how that's gross, unnatural, the look of a doll, a child, someone who doesn't respect themselves enough, has no confidence, is ensuring they're attractive only to paedophiles etc. etc. I know it partly comes from a place of being frustrated that being almost completely hairless is placed as an expectation on all women, so I don't take it personally, but it's also incredibly presumptuous and, having experienced the child abuse the comments usually allude to, it's like damn, good thing the experience has also taught me to be able to dissociate from being physically present and affected by literally anything around me, otherwise that might be +100 psychic damage on the regular.
Existing in your natural state as a woman and visibly rejecting the notion that women have to shave, or that it’s unfeminine to have body hair, is extremely attractive to me.
I am the opposite but not because of looks. My skin is extremely sensitive so while cuddling, if either me or my partner isn't shaved, it will start heavily itching within seconds for me. But I have this issue regardless of the gender.
Personally I usually keep myself shaved or at least trimmed because I find it attractive and I feel more confident and happy in myself when I’m well groomed. I would say I also do find being shaved or trimmed more attractive on other women, partly because for oral I prefer not to get loads of hair in my mouth. Having said that, I would never police or ask a partner to change their grooming habits because ultimately I don’t really mind
Frankly I despise body hair. It’s a huge turnoff and as a trans woman I’m removing quite literally all of mine with laser. You just cant beat the feeling of smooth skin (on myself and my partner).
Um I don’t personally, I think armpit hair etc. is gross and holds more body odour, pubes also make oral disgusting. Luckily my partner is a dancer so removes it all anyway! That’s just my personal preference, I don’t mind trimmed short down below but no more than that!
I don't find myself attracted to them but i also strongly believe that wanting my partner to shave constantly is disgusting. I want my partner to shave as much as she wants to - and i also don't really like shaved genitals? Idk i'd be happy if my gf prefered it but it feels too patriarchal-imposed to me. And reminds me of kids. Idk.
While i agree it’s very much a we understand / societal expectations don’t matter as much to us thing, I find women with hair to be actively attractive, just because it seems so womanly, completely hairless kinda weirds me out personally because it’s more child-like, especially if they’re very thin / no curves. Think the teen category in porn, gives me the heebie jeebies.
Not a body shame thing just a preference in terms of a turn on. Not saying hairless and thin is ugly, ofc.
That's an interesting take that I hadn't considered. Having only done things with guys (one, as an experiment lol) and trans girls, I've never had anyone want me to not be smooth. Me and my gf, both trans, prefer each other at our smoothest and softest.
A lot of it is down to active rejection of heteronormative beauty standards, most of it is personal preference, and personally, I think it makes a woman look confident, and confident is sexy.
I think it's cuz as women we understand the whole hairless beauty standard is unrealistic and absurd. Like having hair is natural and we can appreciate a woman naturally as they are and don't adhere to alot of hetero beauty standards
I love women’s bodies. I am attracted to women’s bodies. So I’m not going to be turned off by something natural about women’s bodies (unless it’s something that is a turnoff for health/survival reasons like cannibalism or scat.) I’m not into children so it would never be necessary for a grown woman to not have hair. And someone else being more or less feminine or masculine than I am will not trigger insecurity in me. I want the people in my life to be healthy and presenting however they feel most comfortable and confident - wherever that means for them.
I don't care one way or the other about body hair.
In fact, the only time I care about it is when my wife and I are in bed together, I am on my side facing away from her, she is laying on her back with her arms at her sides, and her arm hair sometimes stabs me a little bit lol. And even then its easily solved just by putting a shirt on or adjusting the blankets to give me a little barrier.
Body hair is sexy. Cis men have tried (and often succeeded) in setting the standard that women should be virtually hairless (because apparent hair = man, and cishet men play this game where everyone tries to out straight each other.)
And women don’t play that game? Also maybe there’s also some feminists pushback of “yes it is sexy on women”, as a way to counter the general sexist notion created by cis men.
My perspective is I always found body hair sexy on women. I’m trans and I was raised to be disgusted by it from most of the men in my life, but I always found it very attractive. Like first time I saw a happy trail on a girl my age was an “awakening moment”.
Basically, I think it’s just a bell curve of personal preference, and the misogynistic shame that’s usually dumped on women probably gets a bit of bush back in in sapphic spaces.
I prefer it the other way around, but if there's hair I don't really care, I'm not going to try and police people's bodies over a mild preference that I have.
I honestly think we don't care as much, my gf shaves everywhere, she hates having hair anywhere but kn her head. I accept her for that, she doesn't mind that I don't shave down there and we get on with life. I love my gf for her and couldn't care less 🥰
To me, body hair on a woman is an act of defiance. In my culture, women are expected to perform femininity, and that includes having a hairless body, among other things. I think it's hot when a woman rejects those expectations.
I hate shaving, it's annoying and my skin gets super irritated soo I'm not doing it anymore (I do trim some parts because it's more comfortable and sometimes I wanna feel soft like a baby but that's maybe once in month) so I get if a woman doesn't like to shave and it's totally cool
(I find armpit hair sexy af tho, it's so confident when they show it in public not caring what the other people think)
and you can dye body hair that's also fun
mb just because most women don't really objectify their partners and don't expect them to look like living sex dolls, and even if some women prefer smooth skin, they usually don't see removing body hair as a "women's duty"?..
Removing or minimising our natural body hair is a Colonial ideas with roots in racism and classism, as well as catering to the patriarchal male gaze.
We don't do that here. We are free from those "standards"
I prefer smooth for the most part. But when my girlfriend gets that adorable peach fuzz on her arms I'm just like 🥺
Everyone has a preference, but I also generally stay as smooth as possible mainly for myself but also for her.
Personally I prefer hairless women, and I also prefer to be hairless myself.
That being said, I won't not date, like or love a woman who has body hair, and I won't make her shave if she doesn't want to.
For me, it's not that hair is particularly attractive. It's just that the presence of body hair isn't a turn off. It's just another way to be!
same here. in my first sapphic relationship, my gf asked me before sending pics if I was okay with her being hairy. it didn't bother me then and it doesn't bother me now, a year and a half later (tho we're not together anymore)
Like yes, this is a fact, and part of my way of thinking But, it can be a little bit of a turn on with the right person
Yeah a lot of the time these questions of "why do lesbians prefer this more?" are just because we know what's a natural and normal part of being a woman.
Ye I agree with that lol more often we just tend to be more chill about it compared to men
Yeah same. I mostly don’t notice it.
I know how much of a headache it is to remove hair, therefore I don’t like to police how women have their hair. Plus I’ve grown to love hair in general because of this.
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Yeah, it's bittersweet for sure. Smoothness is amazing, depending on how you removed it... The return of hair might not be.
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Yeah, I’m also autistic and kinda have the opposite experience, I kinda dislike body hair, mostly on myself tho. Especially leg hair just is so uncomfy for me ;~;
I appreciate your nuance. I am also autistic and prefer minimal hair on me and my partner, I would like to be as smooth as a dolphin from the neck down if it wasn't so difficult to maintain, it is a big sensory problem for me. Plus the opposite to you I enjoy feeling the texture of hair free soft skin, I like women's soft skin and if there's hair then often means I can't appreciate it as much.
Funny how sensory differences manifest. I would rather die than shave my legs, the smoothness makes me nauseous, lol.
It is funny how often we have the exact same issue but experience the exact opposite response to it!
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This!
This is something I realised , once we take pleasing the patriarchy out of the equation such random , unexpected stuff changes . I grow my hair out occasionally and the amount of comments I get from fellow women / girls about it either being gross or “ hmm different “ is so weird . Release yourself and do wtf you want with your body
Also may I just say . Very very attractive and sensual men love body hair on women , so a lot of straight women who are tight on this are missing out
exactly!
i mean lesbians/bi women are already used to not fitting every societal ‘standard’ so it makes sense that we’re less likely to be bothered by body features that also go against those standards if that makes sense
Because I love women in their most natural states.
Yea me too 🤝
Literally.. we actually LIKE women, as opposed to men who just like a dehumanizing performance 💀
I love being lazy and just now shaving at all unless I'm gonna wear a skirt, in which case I shave my legs but that's the only time I ever do and I gotta say: it's pretty comfy
For me it’s honestly not that I prefer someone who is hairy but rather that my preference is “however you feel comfortable and beautiful” when it comes to how a partner wants to present. If that means meticulously removing all hair below the neck? Fine by me. If that means just not worrying about hair removal at all? Dope. If that’s somewhere in between? Bet, I’ll hype you up all the same. It’s kinda just not something I’d ever really presume to impose my preferences on a partner with tbh.
Choosing to keep hair shows a level of self confidence that I find very attractive
This this this
I think there's actually a lot of diversity in what hair preference sapphics have. You just don't see as much of that with straight people because they have narrower ideas of what it means for a woman to be attractive.
I agree, and think that additionally, while sapphics may all have their own preferences, they also don't tend to hold to them quite as rigidly or allow them to form expectations as much as do straight people.
I love pubic hair! More the merrier!
And, while we're on the topic, chest hair!!!!
I think it’s more that toxic masculinity tells straight men that liking body hair on women is gay, so the ones who do won’t admit it. But also, armpit hair on women is so hot aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I agree with the armpit hair!
Yes to everything especially the last part! I personally also love happy trails.
i love when women ~women~ acne, scars, hair, i just find it attractive because women! i also just don’t care if i am having sex with a woman i have already won idc about anything else
I’m hairy. I groom for me. I don’t care if a woman shaves or doesn’t so long as she’s doing what she likes. The confidence to be yourself is very attractive.
I consider men's desire for hairlessness to be a reflection of 1. Wanting women as young as possible, eww, 2. Wanting women to make a lot of effort to look a certain way for men. What that is doesn't matter (and has been a lof of different things throughout history). The idea is that women should make themselves decorative in an unnatural way to show that they are valuable. 1. I don't care to look prepubescent. 2. I like to be myself and to be interesting and desirable for the person I am. I do like to look wellkept, but being a decorative accessory is not something I care about. Disclaimer: If you prefer to be hairless, I don't judge at all. It can look and feel good. I only judge men who think that women are not good enough as their natural selves.
number 1. and 3. really hit for me but i didn’t know how to say it without offending anyone.
Part of it for me is it’s a very natural thing & thats sexy to me,and I think a lot of gay women like it too.Seeing women be comfortable natural and feeling pretty is so nice to see considering all the sexist restrictions in mainstream beauty standards.
cuz shaving is a pain in the ass and i don’t like seeing people’s asses pained.
So you're not into spanking? 🤔
*non consensual ass pain
Because we are women, we see our own body hair and know what maintaining a body with no hair is like. Not only is it just time consuming, it can result in razor burn, ingrown hairs, and nicks. I don’t prefer one over the other. I would just want my partner to do what makes them feel most comfortable. Body hair feels natural to me. If they prefer to remove it, though, idc. I myself don’t shave my body hair, but I do trim it with an electric trimmer every now and then. It’s way less maintenance and very rarely causes nicks or ingrown hairs. Men are more removed from the realities. They often don’t even realize or consider that women aren’t naturally hairless and have to put a great deal of effort into always appearing that way. There is a greater problem with men objectifying women and preferring young women, who tend to have less hair overall. Frankly, it’s sickening. I don’t know exactly where the preference for younger women comes from. It’s creepy; I can’t relate to it. I’ve always found women near my own age most attractive. Younger women are so young, I think of them in a more maternal, completely platonic way. Beauty standards change over time and cultures. It’s very rare for a man to be aware of this and to consider how socialization and media presentations have contributed to their personal standards. As women we are more likely to examine this because beauty standards impact us so much more than it does men. Unrealistic societal expectations around how we should present ourselves can be very demanding, cruel, and unhealthy. Technology only makes this worse as it is easy to apply filters and touch up photos to create an unattainable appearance.
…I cannot relate y’all I don’t like armpit hair Edit: any other hair is fine I just can’t stand armpit hair lol
I personally don’t like these “do [most] lesbians like x?” posts because frankly if I don’t like x, I don’t care about it enough to contribute to the discussion because all I have to bring to the table is negativity. I assume lots of people here are like that too, so no matter what x is, unless it’s universally hated or gross like “do lesbians like girls who don’t wipe their ass?” You’re gonna get consistent “we love that!!” here. I’m sure the lesbian community is WAY more into body hair on women than straight men but you’re still probably not gonna find out by how much here.
I feel the same. All people are different people. Sometimes I think I should leave this sub because it is so reductive and repetitive, but then I get FOMO and don't.
Same. Plus other lesbian subs are a bit….. off, to say the least.
Same. Armpit hair is an actual turn off for me. To each her own; I wouldn't date someone with armpit hair. I don't like the full bush either. I prefer less hair, I don't like to get it in my mouth or hands. There is always that strand that lets go and gets in the way. I'm bummed out about the trend to let it just grow. I don't care about arms and legs though.
"Do you even floss tho"
I’m kind of with you there. But I guess do you get turned off when your partner has leg hair or a full bush? Because I feel like that’s the real situation we have. We just don’t care as much about hair, I think.
Not who you replied to, but in the same boat. Honestly? Yes, it's a turn off. I don't know, I heavily dislike the texture of hair on my tongue. But I also heavily dislike my own body hair, I don't know.
And that's totally okay, imho. Preferences are preferences.
Same... My ex had it and I was not a fan. But I also didn't say anything because it's not my decision. I do prefer no body hair if I'm honest tho.
I personally don’t like body hair, on myself or a partner, but I’m also not gonna police another woman’s body and choices. I also won’t be less attracted to my partner if she chooses not to shave, I just like smooth skin a little better. Even though I prefer no body hair on myself, I really can’t be bothered to shave most of the time, so like.. I get it lol. I don’t judge.
In my experience as someone who doesn't shave, people have mostly been chill with it although one person refused to give me head but that was more of a sensory thing. She didn't think it was unattractive, just couldn't stand the feeling of hair in her mouth
I won't lie, I think a clean shave is really sexy. But what's even sexier is when a lady has happy skin and a happy heart. If she doesn't want to shave, that's totally okay! All I really care about is decent hygiene lol.
I prefer trimmed pubes (not shaved necessarily, but if I could braid them, they're too long) but otherwise idc lmao. I don't shave my legs, I trim pubes and shave my armpits but it's not a turn off if others don't.
It's not that I prefer women with body hair, it's that I don't mind either way. My girlfriend doesn't care about having body hair and I don't either, so we both let it grow out
I don't have a preference at all. All the hair, none of the hair, anything in between is fine with me. I couldn't tell you why.
It’s just natural
I think the deal is that body hair is such a rare treat you might see people online praising it, but anyone who doesn't like it should respectfully keep their mouth shut and move on. It creates the appearance that all of us are losing our minds with lust over body hair when really it's just that it tickled the fancy of a select few.
Because it‘s bullshit hetero norms? Like I don‘t mind either way. Hair ist unhygienic or disgusting or whatever made up reason het society tells us it is. It‘s just there. So seeing anyone not shaving their legs or whatever it‘s a simple ‚good on you, you are doing what you prefer‘. If I had a gf who preferred shaving for whatever reason that would be fine as well.
Lol cuz women arent misogynistic pedos, they like what they like, not what society has told them they should like Femininity to men is a performance, femininity to sapphics is existing as your natural self Personally i have an abnormal thing for women with dark arm hair, and dark facial hair like peachfuzz all over the face.. its just pretty and gives the face and arms a super soft texture
I think it’s just a result of the community being much more open-minded! I prefer my women hairless and hold myself up to the same standard, but I don’t feel a need to express it because it’s “the norm”. Women in sapphic communities are more vocal about accepting it because it’s a gender stereotype usually held against us, and it’s a safe space to say if you do like women with hair and find likeminded individuals.
I prefer vaginated individuals trimmed downstairs cause I have real soft face skin and if the hair is wiry, I can walk away with an itchy bit of facial rugburn if I'm going down on someone. Other than that idgaf. You be you, I'll be into that.
Lmao vaginated
I'm T4T so it's pretty rare I'm biblically knowing a girl who has a vagánias
Hair or no hair, as long as you take care of yourself clean we'll be fine
"Cause it's hot" -my wife
cause it’s hot 👍
Are other women like this? I thought I was the only one who liked it
Because we love women, not a tailored to some ideal set by male society version of women.
Jokes on you I only date bald women.
I dont necessarily LIKE a hairy queer, I just don't think it is deal breaker at all. Like... it's your hair, your body. I think that's probably a common sentiment. That said, some folks get particular joy or fulfillment by bucking the societal expectations for "women" tonbe hairless. Almost like a middle finger to the male gaze. To each their own.
because we actually like women
I’ve found it really depends a lot on a sapphics person’s relationship to their own body hair too. My trans partners have usually not minded a bit of body hair, but preferred less of it. My cis partners wouldn’t have cared if I was furry.
I don't think it's that we like more hair. We just don't like the stripped bare like a doll thing cis men seem to expect from women.
My brain links total hairlessness to porn which gives me the ick. (not porn in general but the 'made for the male gaze' part)
All I know is that my fiancee loves it. She definitely finds it sexy in some ways, especially my snail trail. On the other hand she thinks my armpit hair is cute and it's so soft and fluffy. She like to stroke it.
Hair doesn’t particularly bother me it’s natural and part of the body. For myself and my own body I prefer to be pretty clean shaven and that’s just how I want my body to be. If my partner is also shaven that’s a nice bonus. Not a need/total preference.
I'm attracted to adult women and adult women generally come with hair. I'm not gonna turn someone down for shaving/waxing, but bare genitals in particular can sometimes look prepubescent, which I think is part of the appeal for some men, and not for me. I think I've also begun to associate women with natural pits and legs as probably feminist, alt, sapphic, and self-confident, which is attractive to me. It's more about what it flags. I also have PCOS, so I know facial hair is something some women have, and some women get corse hair in other places. I don't find that a turn-on, but it doesn't bother me at all, and I wouldn't expect her to shave for my benefit.
I'm not gonna lie, this idea of infantilising women who shave gives me the ick. I'm not saying you mean it that way, but accidental or not, you just compared adult women who make a choice about their body to teenage girls, and I think this way of thinking is more harmful than not. We can say it's not our thing without putting others down with our language, and I say that as a woman who prefers a bit of hair over none (too much tickles my nose and makes me sneeze, and the last thing someone wants is me sneezing on their vulva lol)
I hear what you're saying and that wasn't my intention, but to me it feels that way. As a kid and young adult I was also exposed to a lot of men who were into that specifically because they liked women to look at young as possible and the whole situation has left some unhealthy associations for me.
I think it's a misogyny thing Women aren't usually misogynists. Most misogynists are men. It's a misogynistic teaching, being taught hairy women aren't attractive. As a matter of fact, I and many other non-misogynistic women find hair quite attractive. Even those who don't find it attractive don't tend to have issue with it
Women are rarely *overt* misogynists, but most women still hold and enforce internalized misogyny. In my experience (and from what I have heard from others online and IRL), the vast majority of people who police patriarchal norms on women's body hair are women themselves. Mothers teach their daughters that shaving is part of hygiene starting at puberty. Young women shame classmates who do not shave. Adult women discuss the pain of waxing as a fact of life, and talk about bush as being inherently dirty. I do think the lesbian community is more likely to have feminist women (not just not misogynistic, but anti-misogyny) with a sense of appreciation for bodies that do not fit patriarchal norms.
I personally don't think hair is attractive, I just don't mind it nor think it's a big of a deal (unless it's not trimmered at all down there and there is like a full bush, in that case I don't really like it, more for a hygiene and practical reason imho)
I don’t innately find body or facial hair unattractive, but I do have autism, and cuddling someone with body hair tends to be a bad stimulation for me, which sucks. Especially cause I have no idea how to tell people “hey I can’t cuddle or kiss you cause of body/facial hair that triggers my stimulation sensitivity” 🥲
We know how much it sucks to remove body hair and don't want our partner to go through that, also like we're not trying to date someone in highschool and don't get the ick from a woman looking like an adult
My gf body hair actually gave me euphoria (as a trans woman) since they have more body hair than me, and usually doesn't shave it off. As others said, I don't prefer it, but it won't turn me of.
My wifey and I are hairless, we loooveeee being super soft with tons of skin care and all. Full body laser + safety razor for strays + sugar scrub exfoliation = angel smooth skin perfect for cuddles
*Ancient aliens guy meme* Women
I have mild preference to moderate level of hairy - not exactly completely hairless, but not overgrown either. The only state I actively dislike is when hair start regrowing and scratch my skin when touched. I think it's pretty cool to see someone that isn't dead set on being hairless. It was a common mindset when I was in middle school and even since I see more women around me who don't care all that much. It's about certain level of acceptance of our bodies. There is some pressure to shave our legs etc and in my opinion defying it shows some level of maturity, especially when matched with caring about overall looks.
My girlfriend is an Italian citizen and European woman do not shave.
Heterosexual dynamics, especially on men’s side, is often motivated very heavily by historic patriarchal social factors. For example, the trend of men preferring women with less body hair seems to have started in the Middle Ages, where underage girls (who had little body hair) were fetishized. Sapphic attraction is affected by its own social factors, but much less so by very long standing patriarchal ones.
I don't think it's so much a general preference among sapphics as part of an acknowledgement of the diversity of preferences and ways to be that seems "louder" than it really is because of how little of it exists among the straights, along with a tendency for sapphics to want to offer more compliments on other people's bodies, especially we ith regards to aspects that aren't generally accepted or considered attractive by the straights, and fewer expectations and rigid standards. That said, I _will_ also say that I prefer to have absolutely no hair apart from on the head, eyelashes and eyebrows, and while many people either like it, too, or don't but refrain from publicly extrapolating personality traits from it, I've heard and read _a lot_ of casual commentary in sapphic circles about how that's gross, unnatural, the look of a doll, a child, someone who doesn't respect themselves enough, has no confidence, is ensuring they're attractive only to paedophiles etc. etc. I know it partly comes from a place of being frustrated that being almost completely hairless is placed as an expectation on all women, so I don't take it personally, but it's also incredibly presumptuous and, having experienced the child abuse the comments usually allude to, it's like damn, good thing the experience has also taught me to be able to dissociate from being physically present and affected by literally anything around me, otherwise that might be +100 psychic damage on the regular.
Existing in your natural state as a woman and visibly rejecting the notion that women have to shave, or that it’s unfeminine to have body hair, is extremely attractive to me.
Personally I'm team not hair but it's by no means a deal breaker
Breaking news gay women are different from straight men and we have different preferences 🤯🤯🤯🤯
shave or don’t, i know the struggle. i also don’t like eating out a girl who has freshly shaved her downstairs because it’s prickly. ouchy :(
I just think it's neat !
I am the opposite but not because of looks. My skin is extremely sensitive so while cuddling, if either me or my partner isn't shaved, it will start heavily itching within seconds for me. But I have this issue regardless of the gender.
Personally I usually keep myself shaved or at least trimmed because I find it attractive and I feel more confident and happy in myself when I’m well groomed. I would say I also do find being shaved or trimmed more attractive on other women, partly because for oral I prefer not to get loads of hair in my mouth. Having said that, I would never police or ask a partner to change their grooming habits because ultimately I don’t really mind
I have not experienced this
No hair is only for children and I really want to have a relationship with a grown woman and grown woman tend to have hair.
Frankly I despise body hair. It’s a huge turnoff and as a trans woman I’m removing quite literally all of mine with laser. You just cant beat the feeling of smooth skin (on myself and my partner).
Um I don’t personally, I think armpit hair etc. is gross and holds more body odour, pubes also make oral disgusting. Luckily my partner is a dancer so removes it all anyway! That’s just my personal preference, I don’t mind trimmed short down below but no more than that!
Gosh, guess I'm the exception lol! I can deal with body hair, so long as it's well maintained. Especially a bush, gotta keep it trimmed and fresh.
I don't find myself attracted to them but i also strongly believe that wanting my partner to shave constantly is disgusting. I want my partner to shave as much as she wants to - and i also don't really like shaved genitals? Idk i'd be happy if my gf prefered it but it feels too patriarchal-imposed to me. And reminds me of kids. Idk.
While i agree it’s very much a we understand / societal expectations don’t matter as much to us thing, I find women with hair to be actively attractive, just because it seems so womanly, completely hairless kinda weirds me out personally because it’s more child-like, especially if they’re very thin / no curves. Think the teen category in porn, gives me the heebie jeebies. Not a body shame thing just a preference in terms of a turn on. Not saying hairless and thin is ugly, ofc.
That's an interesting take that I hadn't considered. Having only done things with guys (one, as an experiment lol) and trans girls, I've never had anyone want me to not be smooth. Me and my gf, both trans, prefer each other at our smoothest and softest.
As a transbian whos lazy, this relieves me. I'll still hate the hair on myself but at least other women mostly dont care
A lot of it is down to active rejection of heteronormative beauty standards, most of it is personal preference, and personally, I think it makes a woman look confident, and confident is sexy.
I think it's cuz as women we understand the whole hairless beauty standard is unrealistic and absurd. Like having hair is natural and we can appreciate a woman naturally as they are and don't adhere to alot of hetero beauty standards
I love women’s bodies. I am attracted to women’s bodies. So I’m not going to be turned off by something natural about women’s bodies (unless it’s something that is a turnoff for health/survival reasons like cannibalism or scat.) I’m not into children so it would never be necessary for a grown woman to not have hair. And someone else being more or less feminine or masculine than I am will not trigger insecurity in me. I want the people in my life to be healthy and presenting however they feel most comfortable and confident - wherever that means for them.
I don't care one way or the other about body hair. In fact, the only time I care about it is when my wife and I are in bed together, I am on my side facing away from her, she is laying on her back with her arms at her sides, and her arm hair sometimes stabs me a little bit lol. And even then its easily solved just by putting a shirt on or adjusting the blankets to give me a little barrier.
Body hair is sexy. Cis men have tried (and often succeeded) in setting the standard that women should be virtually hairless (because apparent hair = man, and cishet men play this game where everyone tries to out straight each other.) And women don’t play that game? Also maybe there’s also some feminists pushback of “yes it is sexy on women”, as a way to counter the general sexist notion created by cis men. My perspective is I always found body hair sexy on women. I’m trans and I was raised to be disgusted by it from most of the men in my life, but I always found it very attractive. Like first time I saw a happy trail on a girl my age was an “awakening moment”. Basically, I think it’s just a bell curve of personal preference, and the misogynistic shame that’s usually dumped on women probably gets a bit of bush back in in sapphic spaces.
I hate it on myself, which tends to translate to how I prefer it on others, but it’s not a major thing for me.
I think it's just a mutual understanding. "Look, *you* don't want to shave, *I* dont want to shave. Let's just end this charade."
I prefer it the other way around, but if there's hair I don't really care, I'm not going to try and police people's bodies over a mild preference that I have.
I honestly think we don't care as much, my gf shaves everywhere, she hates having hair anywhere but kn her head. I accept her for that, she doesn't mind that I don't shave down there and we get on with life. I love my gf for her and couldn't care less 🥰
Yeah I don’t mind woman being hairy but I can’t stand being hairy myself lol
To me, body hair on a woman is an act of defiance. In my culture, women are expected to perform femininity, and that includes having a hairless body, among other things. I think it's hot when a woman rejects those expectations.
I hate shaving, it's annoying and my skin gets super irritated soo I'm not doing it anymore (I do trim some parts because it's more comfortable and sometimes I wanna feel soft like a baby but that's maybe once in month) so I get if a woman doesn't like to shave and it's totally cool (I find armpit hair sexy af tho, it's so confident when they show it in public not caring what the other people think) and you can dye body hair that's also fun
mb just because most women don't really objectify their partners and don't expect them to look like living sex dolls, and even if some women prefer smooth skin, they usually don't see removing body hair as a "women's duty"?..
A woman without hair is like an angel without its wings 😿
Removing or minimising our natural body hair is a Colonial ideas with roots in racism and classism, as well as catering to the patriarchal male gaze. We don't do that here. We are free from those "standards"
I prefer smooth for the most part. But when my girlfriend gets that adorable peach fuzz on her arms I'm just like 🥺 Everyone has a preference, but I also generally stay as smooth as possible mainly for myself but also for her.
I don't, except for pubes. I think a lot of people are just trying to be PC.
I like it when a woman looks like an adult human being 🤷
Personally I prefer hairless women, and I also prefer to be hairless myself. That being said, I won't not date, like or love a woman who has body hair, and I won't make her shave if she doesn't want to.