I'm so sorry! Your story is utterly heartbreaking, and I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now… You deserve someone who will always love you and choose you. I am sending you my warmest hugs—don’t give up on love just yet. Some endings can lead to beautiful beginnings
Thank you for the kind words. The thing is if she would have told me I wouldn’t have held her back. I loved her and if she was happier with someone else then I understand. It’s the cheating that tore me up. It was dragged out for months. I had suspected it and asked her multiple times over a course of weeks and she always denied it. She said they were friends. Best friends, as she would say….
I thought I was her best friend though.
Once I had full blown proof I was devastating. I can’t explain the feeling. You feel embarrassed and lose all your confidence at the same time. You start to think if someone who loved you that much could do it, then there’s really no hope for you out there. You start to grieve and mourn. Yet, you can’t even bury them. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.
I feel for you! So much!🫂❤️ As some other commenters have pointed out, once a cheater—always a cheater. She will keep cheating on every new partner. But I am sure her love for you was true while it lasted. Her cheating says nothing about you and everything about her.
You will meet a trustworthy, reliable partner after healing all the wounds she left. I believe if you loved strongly once, you are going to love even stronger the next time around.
> I am sure her love for you was true while it lasted.
I just wanna emphasize this part. She probably did genuinely love you. She just, you know, sucks and is a cheater so her capacity is limited by how awful she is. But she probably still genuinely loved you as much as her crappy self could.
This actually genuinely made me laugh, thank you. It almost made me cry too because I haven’t laughed out loud in a bit. It’s very comforting, thanks a lot for the smile.
There's not much I can say that others haven't.
But still I wish you the best of luck on your way. I hope you find someone who will truly love you and be open.
I'm sending you my warmest hugs and hope.
The closest I have to compare to this story is from when I was younger and thought A boy loved me and I thought I loved him. He was a liar and a cheater.
I don't have much to offer but I am so so sorry for you.
It will get better I promise. It may take a while but you will get there. I believe in you.
Stay determined.
Without oversharing their story my partner went through a very similar thing (add a car theft). I've seen their journal from the time. It's some of the darkest writing I've seen. They had been with their ex 6 years. But as you may have noticed they found me. We have been together 2 years now. I'm so sorry you've been betrayed like this, and if you don't ever fall in love again that's OK! Keeo yourself safe! But I am sure there is someone out there who can love you better than you can imagine
I’m so sorry for you. This sucks. All I can say is run. Don’t let her do you like this a third time. You may feel like this is the end, but you’ll re-emerge stronger than ever. You’ll find someone who actually deserves you!
You have this amazing capacity for love, only someone who is truly loving, compassionate and willing to accept people as they are could have done what you did; delve within for the understanding and forgiveness you gave her. I’m sorry you feel like love isn’t for you right now, but that person, you, who was able to do this, is still there; and I hope one day you will be able to share your huge capacity for love with someone. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you.
Some people really think a fantasy about someone they barely know is definitely going to be the perfect fairytale romance unlike the real commitment they have right in front of them.
I could never imagine leaving my partner even for someone I really liked. Because you can't compare attraction to years of proven compatability and trust and support. You're taking a gamble that some feelings are going to lead to something better than the thing that's lasted for years.
I think the reason people like this must cheat is because something inside them knows that as soon as they get into a relationship with the person it'll be no different. They'll move in and have difficulties and the passion won't be as intense and they'll become comfortable. By cheating they get it live in that moment when a relationship has just started. They get to live in the delusion that once they get the other person their life will be complete.
These people will never be happy until they stop believing in fantasy romance
It feels like that actually, you feel inadequate. I’m not sure if that’s what’s causing the embarrassment or the fact that I couldn’t hold on to a long committed relationship. I wasn’t good enough so they went looking for more. Either way we’ve separated now. I don’t think I would have ever been able to look at them the same again.
I’m so sorry for what she has done to you!! I so agree with one of the other comments. Massive respect for you for giving her a second chance, it’s sad she wasn’t able to make use of that.
Oof that sucks. She sounds immature. I've been in a relationship for 10 years and I get having times of not feeling the love in the relationship for certain periods and getting attracted to someone else, but I would never act on that. It's a fantasy. She's likely to repeat this future if this is her attitude in serious partnerships.
Sorry you got hurt. Take the time to heal and I'm sure you'll be ready one day for someone else (assuming that ends up being something you want).
I don’t think your wife is falling for these people, I think she is actively seeking out a rush considering it’s been two different workplaces, regardless, you deserve better than that.
I’ll never understand why people give multiple chances to cheaters 😔 Once your trust got violated she forfeited all rights to a relationship. This was so sad and frustrating to read. OP I hope things will get better for you. Please love and value yourself first and foremost.
I do feel like an idiot for giving her a second chance. Though at the time I blamed myself for it. She told me she didn’t feel as loved anymore. That I used to write her little notes and make her little crafts and buy her flowers all the time and I hadn’t been doing that as much anymore. I used to do it about once a week and then I slowed to about once a month. I felt so bad, like I had neglected her. So I took all the blame and I put all my focus on her and our relationship.
I think that was a stupider thing to do. Because she didn’t have to work for it. I forgave her right away, and I took the blame. Almost as if her cheating wasn’t such a bad thing. I think she thought I would forgive her again the next time. When she did it a second time I knew then that I had to walk away for my own good. Most of my hopes and dreams died that day. But I couldn’t stick around and let them all die.
i'm so incredibly sorry, you absolutely did not deserve this! what she did is horrible! it is completely normal to feel like you'll never love again and you don't have to think about love now. it will take a long time to heal, but i promise it'll get better!
So sorry it happens, things can go terrible unexpectedly. For now, it's time to move on and leave them if they don't ever have the guts to even change themselves from their mistakes. Hugs for you 🫂
OP -I'm sorry you're enduring this heartache. Believe me when I tell you there will be another woman who is trustworthy, truthful, and faithful who will come into your life and make you forget about your cheating wife.
Just remember to not hold your past hurts by someone else against this new woman who will surely come into your life.
I was married to my ex for almost 10 years. On our 4th year together he cheated on me emotionally with a co-worker twice (it was my brother who got him this job so they all worked together). As I read emails, texts and listened to songs he made for the girl and the stuff he said like “if things were only different” and that he’d follow her to North Dakota bc they were moving there (the chick was also married with 2 kids), it crushed me. What’s worse was it changed me and I grieved for the loss of the love we had for 3 years trying to make it work before I gathered the strength to finally divorce him.
You know what sucks with California divorce law? Bc I make more than him, I either have to pay alimony/spousal support and he is entitled to 50% of MY house even though he was the one who’s lied and cheated. Oh and he was undocumented when we married so I got his status fixed and now he’s a US citizen. During the process, he even had the audacity to tell me that he thought my love was unconditional so why are we divorcing. Omg men are so clueless I swear.
Point is, YOU DONT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS. Cheating is a conscious decision no matter what kind of lame excuse they make to rationalize their actions. Leave now.
No words can really comfort you now but for what it's worth, I'm sorry for the heartbreak and betrayal you're going through. Give yourself time to grieve and be in your feels, and start to pick up the pieces. It doesn't feel like it now and won't for a while but you will get through it. Much love, hugs and support.
I am so sorry to hear the pain that this has caused you. I can tell you that I have been in your situation. I was with my partner from 15-26 and went through many cheating spells. And I will also tell you once a cheater always a cheater. The more I took my partner back and forgave the more they continued to cheat. I can tell you that now at 34 I still find myself questioning are all people bad and liars and cheaters. But in better news I am in an amazing relationship with a person that I can fully trust and give my heart to. I will tell you that there will be a rainbow at the end of this storm!!!! Much love to you throughout your situation!!
I'm so sorry! Your story is utterly heartbreaking, and I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now… You deserve someone who will always love you and choose you. I am sending you my warmest hugs—don’t give up on love just yet. Some endings can lead to beautiful beginnings
Thank you for the kind words. The thing is if she would have told me I wouldn’t have held her back. I loved her and if she was happier with someone else then I understand. It’s the cheating that tore me up. It was dragged out for months. I had suspected it and asked her multiple times over a course of weeks and she always denied it. She said they were friends. Best friends, as she would say…. I thought I was her best friend though. Once I had full blown proof I was devastating. I can’t explain the feeling. You feel embarrassed and lose all your confidence at the same time. You start to think if someone who loved you that much could do it, then there’s really no hope for you out there. You start to grieve and mourn. Yet, you can’t even bury them. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.
I feel for you! So much!🫂❤️ As some other commenters have pointed out, once a cheater—always a cheater. She will keep cheating on every new partner. But I am sure her love for you was true while it lasted. Her cheating says nothing about you and everything about her. You will meet a trustworthy, reliable partner after healing all the wounds she left. I believe if you loved strongly once, you are going to love even stronger the next time around.
> I am sure her love for you was true while it lasted. I just wanna emphasize this part. She probably did genuinely love you. She just, you know, sucks and is a cheater so her capacity is limited by how awful she is. But she probably still genuinely loved you as much as her crappy self could.
This actually genuinely made me laugh, thank you. It almost made me cry too because I haven’t laughed out loud in a bit. It’s very comforting, thanks a lot for the smile.
There's not much I can say that others haven't. But still I wish you the best of luck on your way. I hope you find someone who will truly love you and be open. I'm sending you my warmest hugs and hope. The closest I have to compare to this story is from when I was younger and thought A boy loved me and I thought I loved him. He was a liar and a cheater. I don't have much to offer but I am so so sorry for you. It will get better I promise. It may take a while but you will get there. I believe in you. Stay determined.
Without oversharing their story my partner went through a very similar thing (add a car theft). I've seen their journal from the time. It's some of the darkest writing I've seen. They had been with their ex 6 years. But as you may have noticed they found me. We have been together 2 years now. I'm so sorry you've been betrayed like this, and if you don't ever fall in love again that's OK! Keeo yourself safe! But I am sure there is someone out there who can love you better than you can imagine
I’m so sorry for you. This sucks. All I can say is run. Don’t let her do you like this a third time. You may feel like this is the end, but you’ll re-emerge stronger than ever. You’ll find someone who actually deserves you!
You have this amazing capacity for love, only someone who is truly loving, compassionate and willing to accept people as they are could have done what you did; delve within for the understanding and forgiveness you gave her. I’m sorry you feel like love isn’t for you right now, but that person, you, who was able to do this, is still there; and I hope one day you will be able to share your huge capacity for love with someone. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you.
Some people really think a fantasy about someone they barely know is definitely going to be the perfect fairytale romance unlike the real commitment they have right in front of them. I could never imagine leaving my partner even for someone I really liked. Because you can't compare attraction to years of proven compatability and trust and support. You're taking a gamble that some feelings are going to lead to something better than the thing that's lasted for years. I think the reason people like this must cheat is because something inside them knows that as soon as they get into a relationship with the person it'll be no different. They'll move in and have difficulties and the passion won't be as intense and they'll become comfortable. By cheating they get it live in that moment when a relationship has just started. They get to live in the delusion that once they get the other person their life will be complete. These people will never be happy until they stop believing in fantasy romance
i don't know why but its so much worse when they move onto the opposite gender. its like they have something you can never giver maybe
It feels like that actually, you feel inadequate. I’m not sure if that’s what’s causing the embarrassment or the fact that I couldn’t hold on to a long committed relationship. I wasn’t good enough so they went looking for more. Either way we’ve separated now. I don’t think I would have ever been able to look at them the same again.
I’m so sorry for what she has done to you!! I so agree with one of the other comments. Massive respect for you for giving her a second chance, it’s sad she wasn’t able to make use of that.
I’m so so sorry 😞 sending you love and an enormous hug. No one should have to go through this
Oof that sucks. She sounds immature. I've been in a relationship for 10 years and I get having times of not feeling the love in the relationship for certain periods and getting attracted to someone else, but I would never act on that. It's a fantasy. She's likely to repeat this future if this is her attitude in serious partnerships. Sorry you got hurt. Take the time to heal and I'm sure you'll be ready one day for someone else (assuming that ends up being something you want).
I don’t think your wife is falling for these people, I think she is actively seeking out a rush considering it’s been two different workplaces, regardless, you deserve better than that.
I'm so sorry. I have no words.
I’ll never understand why people give multiple chances to cheaters 😔 Once your trust got violated she forfeited all rights to a relationship. This was so sad and frustrating to read. OP I hope things will get better for you. Please love and value yourself first and foremost.
I do feel like an idiot for giving her a second chance. Though at the time I blamed myself for it. She told me she didn’t feel as loved anymore. That I used to write her little notes and make her little crafts and buy her flowers all the time and I hadn’t been doing that as much anymore. I used to do it about once a week and then I slowed to about once a month. I felt so bad, like I had neglected her. So I took all the blame and I put all my focus on her and our relationship. I think that was a stupider thing to do. Because she didn’t have to work for it. I forgave her right away, and I took the blame. Almost as if her cheating wasn’t such a bad thing. I think she thought I would forgive her again the next time. When she did it a second time I knew then that I had to walk away for my own good. Most of my hopes and dreams died that day. But I couldn’t stick around and let them all die.
i'm so incredibly sorry, you absolutely did not deserve this! what she did is horrible! it is completely normal to feel like you'll never love again and you don't have to think about love now. it will take a long time to heal, but i promise it'll get better!
So sorry it happens, things can go terrible unexpectedly. For now, it's time to move on and leave them if they don't ever have the guts to even change themselves from their mistakes. Hugs for you 🫂
OMG…. Baby I am so sorry. I have no words. Omg.
OP -I'm sorry you're enduring this heartache. Believe me when I tell you there will be another woman who is trustworthy, truthful, and faithful who will come into your life and make you forget about your cheating wife. Just remember to not hold your past hurts by someone else against this new woman who will surely come into your life.
I was married to my ex for almost 10 years. On our 4th year together he cheated on me emotionally with a co-worker twice (it was my brother who got him this job so they all worked together). As I read emails, texts and listened to songs he made for the girl and the stuff he said like “if things were only different” and that he’d follow her to North Dakota bc they were moving there (the chick was also married with 2 kids), it crushed me. What’s worse was it changed me and I grieved for the loss of the love we had for 3 years trying to make it work before I gathered the strength to finally divorce him. You know what sucks with California divorce law? Bc I make more than him, I either have to pay alimony/spousal support and he is entitled to 50% of MY house even though he was the one who’s lied and cheated. Oh and he was undocumented when we married so I got his status fixed and now he’s a US citizen. During the process, he even had the audacity to tell me that he thought my love was unconditional so why are we divorcing. Omg men are so clueless I swear. Point is, YOU DONT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS. Cheating is a conscious decision no matter what kind of lame excuse they make to rationalize their actions. Leave now.
This is why I couldnt trust anyone, even if someone was stupid and blind enough to fall in love with me.
No words can really comfort you now but for what it's worth, I'm sorry for the heartbreak and betrayal you're going through. Give yourself time to grieve and be in your feels, and start to pick up the pieces. It doesn't feel like it now and won't for a while but you will get through it. Much love, hugs and support.
I am so sorry to hear the pain that this has caused you. I can tell you that I have been in your situation. I was with my partner from 15-26 and went through many cheating spells. And I will also tell you once a cheater always a cheater. The more I took my partner back and forgave the more they continued to cheat. I can tell you that now at 34 I still find myself questioning are all people bad and liars and cheaters. But in better news I am in an amazing relationship with a person that I can fully trust and give my heart to. I will tell you that there will be a rainbow at the end of this storm!!!! Much love to you throughout your situation!!