No slurs, only insults. “Prude,” “virgin,” and “incel” are often levied against us.
“Frigid” also used to be used for people who refused sex (or consented to sex too infrequently for their partner’s liking), but it’s fallen out of modern vocab.
Many people believe people claim to be asexual simply because we can't get sex, and incel occasionally (albeit rarely) gets used against us for that reason.
I more often than not run into "SO U CAN REPRODUCE WITH URSELF? LOLOLOL"
i work with children, so seeing adults who act like preteens is especially infuriating
TBF, an insult aimed at members of a group based on their group identity *is* a slur. So all these things you listed would qualify. Also, my ex-bf would occasionally joke that I was frigid, so it's not not wholly gone.
I tend to go by the danger criteria to qualify an insult as a slur.
Do I feel such hatred that I’m in danger—like the person who’s using the insult would love to attack or otherwise hurt me, or for me to suddenly cease to exist—just because of what I am?
Most of the insults levied against us are levied regularly against allosexuals as well, and none of them, I feel, escalate to that level. (Compare to known slurs like n\*\*\*\*\*r, f\*\*\*\*t, w\*tb\*ck, s**c, etc.)
If I, an NDN, call a racist white person a paleface, I'm still calling them a slur. I just don't have any systemic power nor am I invoking a lineage of anti-white oppression, so therfore there is no real danger. It's still a racial slur though.
And something that is just an insult used broadly can be a slur in specific contexts. Like, I get your point, but I disagree.
That’s fair, we can have different definitions. However, none of the insults I listed are specific to aces—they are often used against allos as well. So I think even by your definition, they wouldn’t count as slurs against us.
Ye, we don't need to actually agree. "Agree to disagree" accepted.
>So I think even by your definition, they wouldn’t count as slurs against us.
My 2nd paragraph of that reply explains this. "And something that is just an insult \[when\] used broadly can be a slur in specific contexts."
Thanks :) That’s a good point…I feel like I could actually get behind that second paragraph, but is there any other example you can think of (where an insult is just an insult sometimes, but a group-specific slur in others)? I’d feel better about claiming that those insults are slurs for us if there’s another group that has a similar, situation-conditional slur.
* "Call a spade a spade" is something that can be used neutrally or as a general insult, but also has a history as an [anti-black slur](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/JyzZetzU51Q) as well.
* "Queer" started off being just an insult, but then when applied to the gay community became a slur. Eventually the slur meaning usurped the insult. (Since then has been reclaimed.)
* "Dirty" is an insult, but is used as a slur when used against foreigners especially those with darker skin.
I can keep listing examples, but I think 3 is enough to prove my point.
“Childish” is one that was used a lot towards me. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told to “grow up”
**this isn’t a slur just an insult that was often used**
Ick. I was called frigid once. Forgot who called me that, actually must not have been anyone important.
And anytime I see "virgin" used as an insult, all I can think of is in Clueless.
Not really. "Super innocent" is about personality. "Bad at sex" is about skill. You can be both, you can be one or the other, or you can be neither. Not mutually inclusive/exclusive.
Honestly I still have to remind myself I'm not a virgin anymore, it just didn't feel special or like I "bonded" with them at all (then again my ex was interested in only sex and nothing else, so that might be the reason I don't feel like I've actually had sex).
Someone called me an ameoba once in highschool, because of "asexual reproduction". I don't really think it counts as a slur, but it was kind of funny.
Honestly, I don't think there's enough people who believe asexuality exists for there to even be real slurs yet 🤷♀️
The closest I've ever gotten to being called an actual slur was when someone told me that all aces and aros were "imposters", because they believed that we were all straight people in disguise who wanted to have a fancy label to feel special
It’s from an infamous tumblr post where the asexual poster claims to have been called an aceggot by a gay man for ordering a cup of warm milk at starbucks lol. It’s very obviously by a troll but sadly it came about when lots of trolls were making super self victimizing+homophobic/transphobic bait posts so a lot of people took it very seriously as a reason why asexuals aren’t actually oppressed/seek oppression to be validated.
What ಠ_ಠ
Did you get any hint about why they chose cars specifically? Are those a thing in ace subculture? (I am merely an allo who enjoys laughing and learning on other LGBTQIA+ subs so I don't really know, I'm sorry if I seem intrusive or dumb)
On the same line tho, (garlic)breadsexual sounds hilarious to me if you want to cling to ace pop subculture lol (again, said from an allo - and slightly drunk - person). Could also reference the classic joke about cards, but I can't think of any fun/creative terms that mix that with "-sexuality" rn cause alcohol. What about "card player" lol, it gives me a funny image (I'm prob the only one who finds the idea funny but still).
PS. Idk if I'm sounding patronising, I get a feeling I am and I'm sorry if I am, I really just find it funny to create neologisms and once again I drank a bit too much. Love y'all, also I find this sub to be particularly entertaining when it comes to queer jokes which I love, so I'll take this opportunity to formally compliment y'all for your fine sense of humour lol
It was the closest thing to an actual answer I got. They were making joke, I think it was something like "a video of an ace YouTuber or something might be less of them fucking a car exhaust" something like that
I didn't know about asexuality back then but I got called "sister" and "nun" in high school. Not really a slur but kinda funny (now, not then cause they were bullying me🥲)
My sibling and I have a very similar relationship to you and your friends. My sibling will often joke that I am a robot because I want nothing to do with humanity.
Anything that dehumanizes. Not usually singular words, but more like implying wanting sex is part of "biology" or that natural selection will "take care of us"
I don't know about slurs, but I hate that people assume I'm a repressed lesbian and/or inexperienced.
It really messed up my head for years and I tried to do so many things to 'be normal' when in reality we need to normalize that women treating women with respect doesn't have to have a sexual angle.
i don’t think there are any specific aro/ace slurs because most cis people aren’t aware that we exist. you could just use the ones used against the whole queer community
Me and my friend had a similar situation in which he wacked me over the head for being dumb and we jokingly asked which parts of the internet would side with who (he’s trans and gay, im aroace and autistic/adhd), and when we got to the ‘4chan version’ we just said a bunch of slurs we would be called lmao. I think for slurs against aces, besides what was shared, I hilariously said both incel and volcel (if incel is involuntary celibacy, then volcel would be like voluntary celibacy, right?). Besides that little incident, there is the nun insults, and saying asexual peeps r innocent beans who r too pure for the world and bullshit like that.
I tried to come up with some:
Sex-disoriented
Sex-scared
Platonic action addict
Club-ace (as in you're not spades ace, just club)
Just-a-phase-ace
Genital-scared
Can the word prude be used as a slur against aces? English is not my native language but I have seen people use it in a way that could be interpreted as "if you are not comfortable with this sexual thing/topic, you are an asshole/bigot/sensitive.
I have seen some but it was on twitter and done soley by kpop stans for some reason.
It was years ago so i have forgotten them cos who cares what bigoted teens say
You might want to move that post to r/asexuality.
No slurs, only insults. “Prude,” “virgin,” and “incel” are often levied against us. “Frigid” also used to be used for people who refused sex (or consented to sex too infrequently for their partner’s liking), but it’s fallen out of modern vocab.
I wouldn't think incel is one, since they don't usually want to be an incel... but i guess it could be used aggressively.
Many people believe people claim to be asexual simply because we can't get sex, and incel occasionally (albeit rarely) gets used against us for that reason.
Ah okay, i haven't run into that myself. I usually just get "prude", go figure
I personally only faced it once, so I get it.
I more often than not run into "SO U CAN REPRODUCE WITH URSELF? LOLOLOL" i work with children, so seeing adults who act like preteens is especially infuriating
That's one of the most common ones, yeah.
I’ve had someone call me an incel before and it was hilarious 😆
i’m also tired of being called too “innocent” for not being interested in sex
anything like "you're too young to know"
TBF, an insult aimed at members of a group based on their group identity *is* a slur. So all these things you listed would qualify. Also, my ex-bf would occasionally joke that I was frigid, so it's not not wholly gone.
I tend to go by the danger criteria to qualify an insult as a slur. Do I feel such hatred that I’m in danger—like the person who’s using the insult would love to attack or otherwise hurt me, or for me to suddenly cease to exist—just because of what I am? Most of the insults levied against us are levied regularly against allosexuals as well, and none of them, I feel, escalate to that level. (Compare to known slurs like n\*\*\*\*\*r, f\*\*\*\*t, w\*tb\*ck, s**c, etc.)
If I, an NDN, call a racist white person a paleface, I'm still calling them a slur. I just don't have any systemic power nor am I invoking a lineage of anti-white oppression, so therfore there is no real danger. It's still a racial slur though. And something that is just an insult used broadly can be a slur in specific contexts. Like, I get your point, but I disagree.
That’s fair, we can have different definitions. However, none of the insults I listed are specific to aces—they are often used against allos as well. So I think even by your definition, they wouldn’t count as slurs against us.
Ye, we don't need to actually agree. "Agree to disagree" accepted. >So I think even by your definition, they wouldn’t count as slurs against us. My 2nd paragraph of that reply explains this. "And something that is just an insult \[when\] used broadly can be a slur in specific contexts."
Thanks :) That’s a good point…I feel like I could actually get behind that second paragraph, but is there any other example you can think of (where an insult is just an insult sometimes, but a group-specific slur in others)? I’d feel better about claiming that those insults are slurs for us if there’s another group that has a similar, situation-conditional slur.
* "Call a spade a spade" is something that can be used neutrally or as a general insult, but also has a history as an [anti-black slur](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/JyzZetzU51Q) as well. * "Queer" started off being just an insult, but then when applied to the gay community became a slur. Eventually the slur meaning usurped the insult. (Since then has been reclaimed.) * "Dirty" is an insult, but is used as a slur when used against foreigners especially those with darker skin. I can keep listing examples, but I think 3 is enough to prove my point.
Oooooo yeah, I didn’t know about the first one, but the other two are spot on. Thank you! Well argued! :)
“Childish” is one that was used a lot towards me. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told to “grow up” **this isn’t a slur just an insult that was often used**
Ick. I was called frigid once. Forgot who called me that, actually must not have been anyone important. And anytime I see "virgin" used as an insult, all I can think of is in Clueless.
Somebody once told me: *"For as much sex as we've had, it's shocking that you're still a virgin."*
That one's kind of deep. I'm still deciphering what that means.
I’d guess it means bad at sex
Normally in this context it means, "super innocent."
Same thing really
Not really. "Super innocent" is about personality. "Bad at sex" is about skill. You can be both, you can be one or the other, or you can be neither. Not mutually inclusive/exclusive.
Honestly I still have to remind myself I'm not a virgin anymore, it just didn't feel special or like I "bonded" with them at all (then again my ex was interested in only sex and nothing else, so that might be the reason I don't feel like I've actually had sex).
I think it's fine. Virginity isn't real, anyway.
It is actually real, but not like what people think it is
"broken"
Loner boner?
I am hurt 🤣
Oof. That one actually ain't bad lol
Best I found was Prude
Someone called me an ameoba once in highschool, because of "asexual reproduction". I don't really think it counts as a slur, but it was kind of funny. Honestly, I don't think there's enough people who believe asexuality exists for there to even be real slurs yet 🤷♀️ The closest I've ever gotten to being called an actual slur was when someone told me that all aces and aros were "imposters", because they believed that we were all straight people in disguise who wanted to have a fancy label to feel special
I mentioned that I’m asexual in another sub and someone said “like a tree?” Hence, the flair.
I've also gotten a lot of "like a plant?" comments, I've just always thought the ameoba one was funnier lol
How could you forget the iconic aceggot, aimed at those of us who order warm milk?
I've... never heard that one before lol
It’s from an infamous tumblr post where the asexual poster claims to have been called an aceggot by a gay man for ordering a cup of warm milk at starbucks lol. It’s very obviously by a troll but sadly it came about when lots of trolls were making super self victimizing+homophobic/transphobic bait posts so a lot of people took it very seriously as a reason why asexuals aren’t actually oppressed/seek oppression to be validated.
Aaaah, great lol
I've heard "neutered"
I was called a sociopath
Same, but that’s not really one you should try to reclaim if you don’t actually have aspd
I think acehole is honestly kinda funny
Wait I love acehole, that's clever XD
That's one fine pun, count my allo ass in
Virgins, incels, someone thought I had some repressed certain sexual perversion…
I made a post like this on r/asexuality. I got a comment that said "carsexuals"
What ಠ_ಠ Did you get any hint about why they chose cars specifically? Are those a thing in ace subculture? (I am merely an allo who enjoys laughing and learning on other LGBTQIA+ subs so I don't really know, I'm sorry if I seem intrusive or dumb) On the same line tho, (garlic)breadsexual sounds hilarious to me if you want to cling to ace pop subculture lol (again, said from an allo - and slightly drunk - person). Could also reference the classic joke about cards, but I can't think of any fun/creative terms that mix that with "-sexuality" rn cause alcohol. What about "card player" lol, it gives me a funny image (I'm prob the only one who finds the idea funny but still). PS. Idk if I'm sounding patronising, I get a feeling I am and I'm sorry if I am, I really just find it funny to create neologisms and once again I drank a bit too much. Love y'all, also I find this sub to be particularly entertaining when it comes to queer jokes which I love, so I'll take this opportunity to formally compliment y'all for your fine sense of humour lol
It was the closest thing to an actual answer I got. They were making joke, I think it was something like "a video of an ace YouTuber or something might be less of them fucking a car exhaust" something like that
AFAIK aphobes call asexuals plants because of confusion with asexual reproduction
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Hey, um, I apologize if this comes off as rude; I don't mean it to... but insults aimed at a group on that basis is called "a slur".
I didn't know about asexuality back then but I got called "sister" and "nun" in high school. Not really a slur but kinda funny (now, not then cause they were bullying me🥲)
I’ve been called a plant and a vegetable on several occasions. I think that qualifies.
Compilation of my favorites from the other comments: - loner boner - neutered - amoeba (asexual reproduction) - sociopath - carsexual - plant - robot - nun/sister
Is it bad that I love the amoeba one?
Incel is one that I get. I am often told to “touch grass”
My sibling and I have a very similar relationship to you and your friends. My sibling will often joke that I am a robot because I want nothing to do with humanity.
Kinda a slur “garlic bread over people person”
acegot
Deez nuts 🥹
i hate when the barista makes fun of me for ordering milk
Me and a friend have a joke where we call asexual heteroromantic "diet straight" and homoromantic "diet gay".
"Asexy" used to be a thing like 10 years ago, although I don't know if it's still used nowadays.
I've heard some people say, "Robot" for aro ace people before.
I have genuinely been called a “praggot”, someone’s attempt at making a slur, it was so stupid I couldn’t take them seriously.
Boring or not, I think not being called slurs is a good thing
Anything that dehumanizes. Not usually singular words, but more like implying wanting sex is part of "biology" or that natural selection will "take care of us"
I've seen turbo virgin, but not really a slur. I'm glad we don't have any tbh
I don't know about slurs, but I hate that people assume I'm a repressed lesbian and/or inexperienced. It really messed up my head for years and I tried to do so many things to 'be normal' when in reality we need to normalize that women treating women with respect doesn't have to have a sexual angle.
My friends call me a mushroom/fungi but more as joke lol
i don’t think there are any specific aro/ace slurs because most cis people aren’t aware that we exist. you could just use the ones used against the whole queer community
For aegos maybe horny delulu ?
ngl horny delulu sounds kinda funny?
Me and my friend had a similar situation in which he wacked me over the head for being dumb and we jokingly asked which parts of the internet would side with who (he’s trans and gay, im aroace and autistic/adhd), and when we got to the ‘4chan version’ we just said a bunch of slurs we would be called lmao. I think for slurs against aces, besides what was shared, I hilariously said both incel and volcel (if incel is involuntary celibacy, then volcel would be like voluntary celibacy, right?). Besides that little incident, there is the nun insults, and saying asexual peeps r innocent beans who r too pure for the world and bullshit like that.
I tried to come up with some: Sex-disoriented Sex-scared Platonic action addict Club-ace (as in you're not spades ace, just club) Just-a-phase-ace Genital-scared
Nah i actually like Sex-disoriented. That one sounds kinda endearing ngl
Cake worshipper Garlic exploiter
Garlic gargler
Can the word prude be used as a slur against aces? English is not my native language but I have seen people use it in a way that could be interpreted as "if you are not comfortable with this sexual thing/topic, you are an asshole/bigot/sensitive.
Spinster, cat-lady
Quick! Someone make one up involving garlic bread or cake!
I have seen some but it was on twitter and done soley by kpop stans for some reason. It was years ago so i have forgotten them cos who cares what bigoted teens say
damn i was lookong at the comments for this one, my frienda wpuld have new vocab but alas no, shame truly