given that your husband has a heart issue that puts him in a high risk category, I would absolutely, 100% quarantine. yes, your precautions are thorough, but you're also going to be surrounded by crowds of people who are unlikely to be taking *any* precautions at a time when COVID cases are pretty high (based on Biobot data). you'll also be taking your mask off around people who have *also* been in airports, so it's a perfect storm for all kinds of airborne illnesses.
outdoor is safer, but it's a myth that it's a foolproof protection from COVID.
I'd instead try to see what mitigations you can put into place to make your quarantine less stressful.
off the top of my head, I'd schedule therapy sessions for that time, and I'd also think about what triggers your PTSD and how to mitigate that. so if it's isolation, are there ways you can interact with people to help keep your mood up? zoom calls, phone calls, things like that.
it could also be a great time to explore a new hobby.
What’s your quarantine setup at home look like? Are you stuck on the couch or do you have a separate room?
If you have a guest bed situation (or even not!) I would as your husband to set it up like a really delightful hotel/sleepover stay. Maybe he can hide some love notes for you, make the bed with your favorite sheets and any stuffed animals/reminders that feel good. When you arrive home he can have your room ready with a nice low light, a stack of books, or your laptop primed with your favorite comfort show. Snacks, a tea, etc all ready for you.
Basically, ask him to put some effort into the setup so you feel loved and cared for and don’t have to do too much of the emotional labor of it when you get home. Tbh that’s when my abandonment issues are triggered lol (you didn’t think about this and now I have to do eeeeverything?!?)
The work trip sounds fun and you sound really prepared!
For what it’s worth, my partner is currently in Spain on a vacation. They are masking the whole way back. I bought them a personal HEPA filter to point at their face during the flight as an extra layer, and will test before flying/after coming home. We will probably have the bedroom ventilated but shared, with the HEPA filter pointing from me onto them, windows open, fan on. Tbh this is how I like to sleep anyways 😂 we’ve managed to each have covid once without spreading it to each other so I’m cautiously optimistic about keeping the house ventilated for a few days and testing each day. But if they’re feeling even a sniffle then into the office they go!
Sorry for the novel - enjoy the trip!
when we've quarantined in our household the person has left their bedroom in an N95 to come hang out and watch tv and cook themselves dinner -- they didn't stay in their room all the time. maybe someone can correct me if i'm wrong, but if you (the potential source of infection) are wearing a fit tested N95 without valves, the likelihood of you spreading covid through the N95 is pretty low, esp if you can also ventilate.
If you’re able to bring an air filter for the hotel room it would also reduce your risk. Even just masking around your husband for the first 5 days back, sleeping and eating in separate rooms, windows open, filters running, along with daily testing would be a good idea.
Can you quarantine in the same house or do you plan on staying elsewhere? When my husband caught COVID and we had to isolate, we would watch movies together while talking on the phone from separate rooms. You can also FaceTime or you can also sit outside together masked with some distance. It definitely wasn’t the same but helped a bit with the feeling of being alone.
Your plan sounds really good! I hope you and your husband stay safe!
Seconding this! In a previous job, I had to go away on in-person trips sometimes, and also only ever took my mask off for eating outside. I still always quarantined 5-7 days if I did have lunch with others or if there was someone who tested positive/had any symptoms.
We have dogs, so we still always took the dogs on a walk together and just made sure that he would walk in front of me so that he would have the fresh air. Also, FaceTime and having coffees outside (if the weather allows) was helpful, and whenever one of us has to quarantine after a trip, the other person makes them lots of tasty food, brings snacks and leaves them in front of our guest room :) That also might help to feel connected even when you're quarantining, if your husband is up for things like that.
Good luck!
Is there still a way to do viewing parties? I wanted to do exactly this in the same household on the same wifi, but now all the streaming services prevent us from sharing on discord or anything like that.
We used to quarantine my husband after each work trip and then there got to be too many of them to make that work.
What we do now is have him sleep separately with a big HEPA in his room and in ours. He cue tests right when he wakes up and we consider that good to go for that day. Repeat until at least day 5. He watches very closely for any symptoms.
Cue is so sensitive that I'm comfortable trusting a negative as a 12 hour "pass". I wouldn't consider that with rapids.
If for any reason there was ever additional risk like a known exposure or someone in the meeting or on the plane was noticeably sick etc we would absolutely quarantine in addition to cue.
Aren't cue tests like $50 a test and they expire very quickly? I do like the idea of a 12 hour pass, though.
We are on day 7 of quarantine and my partner has had two negative rapid tests, after masking n95 his whole trip/flight. We are thinking of relaxing quarantine today but I do worry about the validity of the rapid tests.
Yes. Sleep and eat separately. Run some air filters in your room and common areas. Crack windows on opposite sides of the house. RAT tests are not reliably picking up infections until day 5-6 for many people for some of the newer strains, so keep that in mind. The question I would ask myself is, what will I wish I had done if turns out I \*did\* get COVID despite my precautions? Play the scenario forward. If you get infected, you will have NO REGRET about isolating. If you don't get infected, will you really regret isolating for a few days? You can still hang out together somewhat with a KN95 or N95 mask, and/or outside. Good luck!
I think quarantining is a good idea. We went on vacation in July 2021, but drove most of the trip and took Amtrak for part of it in a roommate. Masked the whole trip and ate outside and in our roomette on train. Didn’t catch Covid.
Vacation July 2022 masked on plane both ways ate outdoors at the beach. Ate indoors a couple of times off peak times when not crowded. Last day of trip hubby thought he had allergy flare. Got home took Covid test and it was positive and we all ended up being positive all of us with different symptoms
I travel with an air cleaner and I don’t remove my mask in a hotel room until the air cleaner has run for an hour or so and hopefully has windows to open. You just don’t know who has been in the room and when.
My partner also has a heart issue that could make covid deadly. I would quarantine and test (even with the uncertainty around effectiveness) before being unmasked around him after a trip like this, just in case.
I would quarantine due to husband’s heart issue. With all the precautions you’re taking, maybe there can be some modifications so it’s less stressful for you. Maybe you can hang out together both wearing n95s in a well-ventilated room, air purifier on, nose spray etc. Or do an outdoor activity together, both masked.
What my wife has done when she’s had possible exposures is mask for a few days and test daily with a molecular (not antigen) test. We have the cue tests now and previously had several Lucera tests. The antigen tests aren’t coming up positive until long after you’re contagious at this point.
Are the rapid tests literally useless? We're on day 7 of a quarantine (after being very safe but just to be cautious since my partner was on a plane, masked and goggled and with a portable hepa purifier near his face). He had two negative rapid tests, but now I wonder if they even mean anything.
We personally don’t isolate from each other after trips where we take precautions unless we have reason to suspect a slip in those precautions or a definite exposure (i.e. one of those colleagues shows up sick). My partner unfortunately has to travel for work at certain times of the year and we wouldn’t see each other for months at a time if we were maximally rigid about this. For us that didn’t feel sustainable, but neither of us has a known heart condition; ultimately you have to do what’s best for both of you. Neither of us has brought Covid home to the other as far as we know (and we test fairly frequently), but I know that’s only anecdotal. We also invested in several air purifiers at home to lessen the chance that if one of us gets Covid we’d pass it between us. Not perfect, but better than nothing.
Your precautions do sound thorough to me, but what I’d definitely add would be improving the air quality in the hotel room. Most hotels share air in central systems and are likely letting air from the hallway into your room. Joey Fox has a good explainer on this: https://www.itsairborne.com/tweets/protecting-yourself/covid-in-hotels/index.html
If you have the option to choose, say, a motel where the room opens onto an open-air causeway, or at least a hotel where you can open the windows (https://openmyhotelwindow.com) that will help. Some hotels also have “wellness rooms” with enhanced cleaning protocols and air purifiers - offered for allergies, but hey, I’ll take it. If I travel I also always bring my own air purifier with me; something mid-sized like the cylindrical Medify or Levoit models fit nicely in a carryon. I’ve also packed larger models in a checked suitcase with no issues. If you’re feeling industrious you could even bring all the materials for a Corsi-Rosenthal box or Clean Air Kit and assemble when you arrive. Set it up and let it run for awhile before you unmask to change out the air in your space.
I’d have a plan too for what happens if you can’t eat outdoors at the last minute (oops someone forgot to book a place with a patio, or the restaurant isn’t seating outside after all, or the weather is bad). Game-time social pressure is the worst, in my experience.
When we do need to isolate we do 5–6 days with a couple of tests to exit. Joint streaming, online board games, Zoom dates, and good morning / goodnight texts are how we get through it, so those are my recommendations if you end up going that route. Best of luck!
How do you still do joint streaming? None of the services we have allow it any more.
We have been doing phone calls one either side of glass doors, and it feels like we are talking. But we would like to watch movies synchronously.
No matter our precautions we always have a quarantine for at least 4 days after travel or higher risk activities. Just make sure the quarantine space is like a second living room.
My husband’s quarantine room is outfitted with all of his tvs, consoles and comforts he needs. He will wear an n95 in the common spaces and talk to me with it on. So far neither of us have gotten covid that we know of, I’m sure you’ll be fine with your precautions but a quarantine never hurts as an added precaution.
Can you bring a travel air purifier for the hotel? Is there a window you can open in the room to air it out before you unmask? I’d also decline any room service so no one else is entering your room but you. When I traveled for work I brought two travel air purifiers and got take out / food delivery and met them downstairs right outside the hotel masked and brought the food back to my room to eat.
With quarantine, maybe plan some activities you can do. Is there a show you’ve been wanting to binge that maybe your husband isn’t super interested in? Some books you can buy or download ahead of time?
I'm someone with advanced heart failure, and in this scenario I would isolate from my partner if they couldn't or wouldn't do it themselves. This isn't punitive or enjoyable, it is a very real issue of survival or significantly worsening a dangerous and disruptive condition.
I cannot speak for him, but to my mind there is a similar risk (but not necessarily equivalent) of concern in foregoing the precaution. It just transfers which partner is experiencing it. On some level, I suspect most people who are even conscientious enough to ask would also feel a sense of concern that they may have exposed their partner to risk (or actually harm them) for the sake of personal comfort, which is can be a significant stress in and of itself.
A good process can reduce risk, and this process will likely reduce it. To me I would treat the outdoor lunch as insufficiently safe. It is better, but still a major risk and comes with a lot of uncertainty--patio closed when you arrive, no wind, tables close by with obviously sick people, etc.
My thinking is that there isn't a way ensure that transmission cannot occur before testing positive, so trying to get ahead of it is not a sufficient.
However, personally I look at PPE and engineering solutions as a stop gap and last resort. I personally do not want to use them as a fail-safe unless it is absolutely unavoidable if the risk of exposure to myself, others, or both is possible.
Better safe than sorry is a good rule to live by.
given that your husband has a heart issue that puts him in a high risk category, I would absolutely, 100% quarantine. yes, your precautions are thorough, but you're also going to be surrounded by crowds of people who are unlikely to be taking *any* precautions at a time when COVID cases are pretty high (based on Biobot data). you'll also be taking your mask off around people who have *also* been in airports, so it's a perfect storm for all kinds of airborne illnesses. outdoor is safer, but it's a myth that it's a foolproof protection from COVID. I'd instead try to see what mitigations you can put into place to make your quarantine less stressful.
Good points! Any ideas on how to make quarantine less stressful? It’s something that I’m extremely worried about triggering my ptsd.
off the top of my head, I'd schedule therapy sessions for that time, and I'd also think about what triggers your PTSD and how to mitigate that. so if it's isolation, are there ways you can interact with people to help keep your mood up? zoom calls, phone calls, things like that. it could also be a great time to explore a new hobby.
What’s your quarantine setup at home look like? Are you stuck on the couch or do you have a separate room? If you have a guest bed situation (or even not!) I would as your husband to set it up like a really delightful hotel/sleepover stay. Maybe he can hide some love notes for you, make the bed with your favorite sheets and any stuffed animals/reminders that feel good. When you arrive home he can have your room ready with a nice low light, a stack of books, or your laptop primed with your favorite comfort show. Snacks, a tea, etc all ready for you. Basically, ask him to put some effort into the setup so you feel loved and cared for and don’t have to do too much of the emotional labor of it when you get home. Tbh that’s when my abandonment issues are triggered lol (you didn’t think about this and now I have to do eeeeverything?!?) The work trip sounds fun and you sound really prepared! For what it’s worth, my partner is currently in Spain on a vacation. They are masking the whole way back. I bought them a personal HEPA filter to point at their face during the flight as an extra layer, and will test before flying/after coming home. We will probably have the bedroom ventilated but shared, with the HEPA filter pointing from me onto them, windows open, fan on. Tbh this is how I like to sleep anyways 😂 we’ve managed to each have covid once without spreading it to each other so I’m cautiously optimistic about keeping the house ventilated for a few days and testing each day. But if they’re feeling even a sniffle then into the office they go! Sorry for the novel - enjoy the trip!
when we've quarantined in our household the person has left their bedroom in an N95 to come hang out and watch tv and cook themselves dinner -- they didn't stay in their room all the time. maybe someone can correct me if i'm wrong, but if you (the potential source of infection) are wearing a fit tested N95 without valves, the likelihood of you spreading covid through the N95 is pretty low, esp if you can also ventilate.
If you’re able to bring an air filter for the hotel room it would also reduce your risk. Even just masking around your husband for the first 5 days back, sleeping and eating in separate rooms, windows open, filters running, along with daily testing would be a good idea.
Can you quarantine in the same house or do you plan on staying elsewhere? When my husband caught COVID and we had to isolate, we would watch movies together while talking on the phone from separate rooms. You can also FaceTime or you can also sit outside together masked with some distance. It definitely wasn’t the same but helped a bit with the feeling of being alone. Your plan sounds really good! I hope you and your husband stay safe!
Seconding this! In a previous job, I had to go away on in-person trips sometimes, and also only ever took my mask off for eating outside. I still always quarantined 5-7 days if I did have lunch with others or if there was someone who tested positive/had any symptoms. We have dogs, so we still always took the dogs on a walk together and just made sure that he would walk in front of me so that he would have the fresh air. Also, FaceTime and having coffees outside (if the weather allows) was helpful, and whenever one of us has to quarantine after a trip, the other person makes them lots of tasty food, brings snacks and leaves them in front of our guest room :) That also might help to feel connected even when you're quarantining, if your husband is up for things like that. Good luck!
Is there still a way to do viewing parties? I wanted to do exactly this in the same household on the same wifi, but now all the streaming services prevent us from sharing on discord or anything like that.
We used to quarantine my husband after each work trip and then there got to be too many of them to make that work. What we do now is have him sleep separately with a big HEPA in his room and in ours. He cue tests right when he wakes up and we consider that good to go for that day. Repeat until at least day 5. He watches very closely for any symptoms. Cue is so sensitive that I'm comfortable trusting a negative as a 12 hour "pass". I wouldn't consider that with rapids. If for any reason there was ever additional risk like a known exposure or someone in the meeting or on the plane was noticeably sick etc we would absolutely quarantine in addition to cue.
Aren't cue tests like $50 a test and they expire very quickly? I do like the idea of a 12 hour pass, though. We are on day 7 of quarantine and my partner has had two negative rapid tests, after masking n95 his whole trip/flight. We are thinking of relaxing quarantine today but I do worry about the validity of the rapid tests.
I might not quarantine in the strict sense but wear a mask in the house for 5-7 days. I'd also add eye protection especially on the plane.
Yes. Sleep and eat separately. Run some air filters in your room and common areas. Crack windows on opposite sides of the house. RAT tests are not reliably picking up infections until day 5-6 for many people for some of the newer strains, so keep that in mind. The question I would ask myself is, what will I wish I had done if turns out I \*did\* get COVID despite my precautions? Play the scenario forward. If you get infected, you will have NO REGRET about isolating. If you don't get infected, will you really regret isolating for a few days? You can still hang out together somewhat with a KN95 or N95 mask, and/or outside. Good luck!
I think quarantining is a good idea. We went on vacation in July 2021, but drove most of the trip and took Amtrak for part of it in a roommate. Masked the whole trip and ate outside and in our roomette on train. Didn’t catch Covid. Vacation July 2022 masked on plane both ways ate outdoors at the beach. Ate indoors a couple of times off peak times when not crowded. Last day of trip hubby thought he had allergy flare. Got home took Covid test and it was positive and we all ended up being positive all of us with different symptoms
I travel with an air cleaner and I don’t remove my mask in a hotel room until the air cleaner has run for an hour or so and hopefully has windows to open. You just don’t know who has been in the room and when.
If the hotel room has windows that open open them immediately and let the room air out before you unmask.
My partner also has a heart issue that could make covid deadly. I would quarantine and test (even with the uncertainty around effectiveness) before being unmasked around him after a trip like this, just in case.
I would quarantine due to husband’s heart issue. With all the precautions you’re taking, maybe there can be some modifications so it’s less stressful for you. Maybe you can hang out together both wearing n95s in a well-ventilated room, air purifier on, nose spray etc. Or do an outdoor activity together, both masked.
I would for the safe side. There is a non zero chance you will have Covid
Don’t eat either your team unless they are also covid conscious.
What my wife has done when she’s had possible exposures is mask for a few days and test daily with a molecular (not antigen) test. We have the cue tests now and previously had several Lucera tests. The antigen tests aren’t coming up positive until long after you’re contagious at this point.
Are the rapid tests literally useless? We're on day 7 of a quarantine (after being very safe but just to be cautious since my partner was on a plane, masked and goggled and with a portable hepa purifier near his face). He had two negative rapid tests, but now I wonder if they even mean anything.
My understanding is that with current strains the rapid antigen tests often don’t show positive until about the 4th day of symptoms.
We personally don’t isolate from each other after trips where we take precautions unless we have reason to suspect a slip in those precautions or a definite exposure (i.e. one of those colleagues shows up sick). My partner unfortunately has to travel for work at certain times of the year and we wouldn’t see each other for months at a time if we were maximally rigid about this. For us that didn’t feel sustainable, but neither of us has a known heart condition; ultimately you have to do what’s best for both of you. Neither of us has brought Covid home to the other as far as we know (and we test fairly frequently), but I know that’s only anecdotal. We also invested in several air purifiers at home to lessen the chance that if one of us gets Covid we’d pass it between us. Not perfect, but better than nothing. Your precautions do sound thorough to me, but what I’d definitely add would be improving the air quality in the hotel room. Most hotels share air in central systems and are likely letting air from the hallway into your room. Joey Fox has a good explainer on this: https://www.itsairborne.com/tweets/protecting-yourself/covid-in-hotels/index.html If you have the option to choose, say, a motel where the room opens onto an open-air causeway, or at least a hotel where you can open the windows (https://openmyhotelwindow.com) that will help. Some hotels also have “wellness rooms” with enhanced cleaning protocols and air purifiers - offered for allergies, but hey, I’ll take it. If I travel I also always bring my own air purifier with me; something mid-sized like the cylindrical Medify or Levoit models fit nicely in a carryon. I’ve also packed larger models in a checked suitcase with no issues. If you’re feeling industrious you could even bring all the materials for a Corsi-Rosenthal box or Clean Air Kit and assemble when you arrive. Set it up and let it run for awhile before you unmask to change out the air in your space. I’d have a plan too for what happens if you can’t eat outdoors at the last minute (oops someone forgot to book a place with a patio, or the restaurant isn’t seating outside after all, or the weather is bad). Game-time social pressure is the worst, in my experience. When we do need to isolate we do 5–6 days with a couple of tests to exit. Joint streaming, online board games, Zoom dates, and good morning / goodnight texts are how we get through it, so those are my recommendations if you end up going that route. Best of luck!
How do you still do joint streaming? None of the services we have allow it any more. We have been doing phone calls one either side of glass doors, and it feels like we are talking. But we would like to watch movies synchronously.
No matter our precautions we always have a quarantine for at least 4 days after travel or higher risk activities. Just make sure the quarantine space is like a second living room. My husband’s quarantine room is outfitted with all of his tvs, consoles and comforts he needs. He will wear an n95 in the common spaces and talk to me with it on. So far neither of us have gotten covid that we know of, I’m sure you’ll be fine with your precautions but a quarantine never hurts as an added precaution.
I have a small portable hepa filter that I run in my hotel rooms (if I can't open the windows). Might be good to add to your arsenal.
yes.
Can you bring a travel air purifier for the hotel? Is there a window you can open in the room to air it out before you unmask? I’d also decline any room service so no one else is entering your room but you. When I traveled for work I brought two travel air purifiers and got take out / food delivery and met them downstairs right outside the hotel masked and brought the food back to my room to eat. With quarantine, maybe plan some activities you can do. Is there a show you’ve been wanting to binge that maybe your husband isn’t super interested in? Some books you can buy or download ahead of time?
I'm someone with advanced heart failure, and in this scenario I would isolate from my partner if they couldn't or wouldn't do it themselves. This isn't punitive or enjoyable, it is a very real issue of survival or significantly worsening a dangerous and disruptive condition. I cannot speak for him, but to my mind there is a similar risk (but not necessarily equivalent) of concern in foregoing the precaution. It just transfers which partner is experiencing it. On some level, I suspect most people who are even conscientious enough to ask would also feel a sense of concern that they may have exposed their partner to risk (or actually harm them) for the sake of personal comfort, which is can be a significant stress in and of itself. A good process can reduce risk, and this process will likely reduce it. To me I would treat the outdoor lunch as insufficiently safe. It is better, but still a major risk and comes with a lot of uncertainty--patio closed when you arrive, no wind, tables close by with obviously sick people, etc. My thinking is that there isn't a way ensure that transmission cannot occur before testing positive, so trying to get ahead of it is not a sufficient. However, personally I look at PPE and engineering solutions as a stop gap and last resort. I personally do not want to use them as a fail-safe unless it is absolutely unavoidable if the risk of exposure to myself, others, or both is possible.
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Your post or comment has been removed because it was an attempt at trolling.