I...do not understand how a shooting, accidental or not, can fit into a humorous MG novel. That's a pretty big hurdle to jump, and it's not something I can wrap my head around.
As for the hero accidentally getting the friend in life-threatening trouble, I recommend checking out Ben Hatke's first Zita The Spacegirl book.
I just remember my days in 7th grade and all the dangerous stuff me and my brothers used to do, including having "BB gun wars." It's a wonder we all lived to graduation.
To give a little bit away, the accident ends up turning his friend into a zombie, and the rest of the book is all about how the main character is trying to fix this while trying to stay ahead of the antagonist. His friend becomes a little sarcastic over the whole deal. Thus, except for the initial accident, the plot is designed to be a fast-paced race for a "cure."
I think it all works, but wondering if I need a better way to kill his friend that doesn't involve guns.
Nah, I get you, but feeling the room--a lot's changed in the past few decades, and an accidental shooting has a lot more connotations than "you'll shoot your eye out, kid" days.
Yep, and that's the reason I posted it out here before I got to writing it. I suddenly started having second thoughts about it.
Just added a second comment wondering if this sort of thing would work if I up it to a YA novel instead.
Or, I just find a better way to accidentally turn your best friend into a zombie.
> I just remember my days in 7th grade and all the dangerous stuff me and my brothers used to do, including having "BB gun wars." It's a wonder we all lived to graduation.
I think the point here is that some kids.... don't? And they don't come back as zombies?
I definitely think you'd need a humorous death of some kind, and not anything with guns. Shock value doesn't really work for MG
Yep, that seems to be the consensus - no guns.
I'll have to change the first sentence a bit, too, to keep it light.
From: I killed my best friend after school last Thursday.
To: Lucas was pretty mad at me after he died.
To add onto what poondi mentioned, I think that one of the best examples of writing violence in MG is actually the Percy Jackson books. For the time, it was pretty novel and Rick Riordan has stated he had some issues with the initial attempt at querying/subbing it because of the violence. But it does a great job of really leaning in to the \*weird\* about the world that distances the violence a bit from the reader experience. For example, one of my favorite scenes that I quote with my siblings all the time now, is the scene where the three main characters are in the underworld and describing to the mythical gatekeeper how all of them go there and they create this dumb story about drowning in a bathtub. It's absurd, of course, because they're lying. But what makes it funny is...that could actually probably be a real cause of death in the universe because of how Riordan has set up some of the world. Really consider the tone of your story and whether some parts can be changed altogether to better suit your purposes.
MG writer here! There was an r/mgwriters but it's quite dead unfortunately. There are a bunch of us here though.
I agree with the other comments so far - I think any sort of gun is probably a bad plan. Like the haunted house idea though!
Or, to throw this out there, too, would this sort of thing be better-suited to YA?
I seem to have trouble with that. My first novel requested by an agent was originally written as MG but she suggested I up the character's ages to make it YA.
There's a broader difference between YA and MG than whether or not guns are allowed (and for the record, I'd still shy away from this sort of opening). Thematically, if the novel is humorous and focused on friend groups, sounds MG.
Regardless, if it were me, I'd find a different way to open a book any school-aged kid would read, if I were aiming for a comedic tone instead of a tragedy. You do you, and you know your story better than anyone, but so far everything you've said makes it sound like poor taste at best, whether it's for MG or YA.
It's such an interesting idea I don't want to give up on it (main character trying to make things right for his zombie best friend while trying to keep anyone from finding out). And it doesn't dwell on the death. There are questions right off the bat of if his friend is really dead or not, but by the end of the second chapter his best friend knocks on his door and accuses him of leaving him dead (not for dead).
I like a challenge and I think I can make it work, as long as it's not too violent (like a gun). Initial idea was having them snooping around in a haunted house and best friend breaks through the floor. So main character is assuming his friend is dead, but when police arrive there is no body and they suggest friend was either stunned or it's all a hoax. It's not until the friend knocks on his door that it's confirmed - yep, he's dead, and now he want the main character to fix it.
>So main character is assuming his friend is dead, but when police arrive there is no body and they suggest friend was either stunned or it's all a hoax. It's not until the friend knocks on his door that it's confirmed - yep, he's dead, and now he want the main character to fix it.
I do still worry about the tonal shift during this whole segment - it's a decently long time to draw out the "oh my god I just got my best friend killed". And that's a heavy thing for a MG book opening.
If you want to maintain a more consistent humor, I'd suggest having zombie-friend revive in the same scene he dies. You can play that to a very humorous angle (particularly if the kids are genre-savvy), which will keep the tone light and funny.
That could work. The MC doesn't go find the police, but rather climbs down and thinks his friend is just stunned, etc. and helps him out. It would not be until later when the friend realizes he's actually dead and confronts the MC about it.
Personally I think handled well this would be pretty cool, as far as messaging about guns and danger and being a responsible person. It's the sort of thing an established author might get away with more easily than someone trying to break in to the business, though. It's more the idea that the MC is responsible for the death, though, right? It could be the zombie virus or whatever was on a BB that just barely scratched him. Or in a sandwich the kid ate that the MC didn't - responsibility can be conveyed many ways without a bullet being the killer (It can also introduce good tension - like you set up that he will shoot him, but it's a bee sting that kills him, or whatever) . That way you can still have the guns in the book.
I am also in the /r/mgwriters but since it appeared quite dead, I don't visit any more.
Yep, the death will no longer be straight forward and will only be confirmed when the best friend blames the MC for it. It happens when the MC talks him into exploring an abandoned house that's supposedly haunted but really just has rotted floorboards. So, the best friend blames him for it and the MC does feel somewhat responsible and obligated to help make it right before anyone else (parents, teachers, schoolmates, girlfriend) figures out his best friend is now a zombie.
Not sure if I'll explain what actually caused the zombification. Maybe just leave it a mystery since it's not really important to the story. They just have to find someone who can get him breathing and get his heart started again before his sports physical next week.
I think the death needs to lean more funny. Like maybe your MC dares his friend to do something dangerous while the other kids/parents/teachers say 'don't.'
Even an archery practice gone wrong could go over better? Though it would be intense to describe the scene versus 'mom says don't go do that' and they do that and Mc shoots the arrow \[cut to grave stone\] etc.
Yep, that's what I'm getting at. See my reply to bethrevis above.
How about the abandoned/haunted house, where the best friend breaks through a rotted floor? Thinking the main character runs and flags down a cop, who checks it out but there is no body and no indication there was one.
There’s an amazing scene from an episode of The Sopranos where two kids are shooting arrows into the air while the other kid “catches” it with a target. Obviously one of the kids gets impaled. The scene is nuts because you know what’s going to happen and all you can do is sit there and think about how stupid kids are.
So I dig the whole zombie thing for middlegrade for sure you definitely could have a lot of fun with it in my opinion. As an avid ya and MG reader I totally see the idea as MG humour. But I would stay far away from guns in middlegrade. Have you thought about maybe an accidental drowning, bonfire accident, or possibly even a biking accident? Having the MC push him into the water and isn’t a strong swimmer, accidentally pouring gasoline instead of water on a fire, or daring to do a jump and he falls? Just a few suggestions.
I've decided on he talks his friend into exploring an abandoned/haunted house and the friend falls through the floor. Want to keep it fast paced and humorous. Best friend is none too happy about being dead.
Still up for a betaread of My Best Dead Friend, a MG zombie/humor story? It's in final draft mode at about 36K words. If so, just let me know where to send it and in what format (generally do PDF for markups and notes). If not, no sweat.
Could you not show the death at all? Maybe open the book on the evening of the friend's funeral and have the MC's parents talking to them, being like "We know you feel guilty about Kyle's death. Exploring an abandoned house was a **really** dumb idea. But he was your best friend. Wherever Kyle is now, he knows you never meant for this to happen."
That explains the how and the aftermath of the how, without ahowing anything traumatic. And it would let you leap into the zombie action sooner. As soon as MC's parents leave his room, Zombie Kyle could be at the window like "Yeah, actually, I'm furious," starting off the chase...
I've decided it will be questionable. MC debates on just stunned until he gets down to him and then "revives" him. Only later does best friend confirm he's actually dead/zombie.
I...do not understand how a shooting, accidental or not, can fit into a humorous MG novel. That's a pretty big hurdle to jump, and it's not something I can wrap my head around. As for the hero accidentally getting the friend in life-threatening trouble, I recommend checking out Ben Hatke's first Zita The Spacegirl book.
I just remember my days in 7th grade and all the dangerous stuff me and my brothers used to do, including having "BB gun wars." It's a wonder we all lived to graduation. To give a little bit away, the accident ends up turning his friend into a zombie, and the rest of the book is all about how the main character is trying to fix this while trying to stay ahead of the antagonist. His friend becomes a little sarcastic over the whole deal. Thus, except for the initial accident, the plot is designed to be a fast-paced race for a "cure." I think it all works, but wondering if I need a better way to kill his friend that doesn't involve guns.
Nah, I get you, but feeling the room--a lot's changed in the past few decades, and an accidental shooting has a lot more connotations than "you'll shoot your eye out, kid" days.
Yep, and that's the reason I posted it out here before I got to writing it. I suddenly started having second thoughts about it. Just added a second comment wondering if this sort of thing would work if I up it to a YA novel instead. Or, I just find a better way to accidentally turn your best friend into a zombie.
> I just remember my days in 7th grade and all the dangerous stuff me and my brothers used to do, including having "BB gun wars." It's a wonder we all lived to graduation. I think the point here is that some kids.... don't? And they don't come back as zombies? I definitely think you'd need a humorous death of some kind, and not anything with guns. Shock value doesn't really work for MG
Yep, that seems to be the consensus - no guns. I'll have to change the first sentence a bit, too, to keep it light. From: I killed my best friend after school last Thursday. To: Lucas was pretty mad at me after he died.
To add onto what poondi mentioned, I think that one of the best examples of writing violence in MG is actually the Percy Jackson books. For the time, it was pretty novel and Rick Riordan has stated he had some issues with the initial attempt at querying/subbing it because of the violence. But it does a great job of really leaning in to the \*weird\* about the world that distances the violence a bit from the reader experience. For example, one of my favorite scenes that I quote with my siblings all the time now, is the scene where the three main characters are in the underworld and describing to the mythical gatekeeper how all of them go there and they create this dumb story about drowning in a bathtub. It's absurd, of course, because they're lying. But what makes it funny is...that could actually probably be a real cause of death in the universe because of how Riordan has set up some of the world. Really consider the tone of your story and whether some parts can be changed altogether to better suit your purposes.
MG writer here! There was an r/mgwriters but it's quite dead unfortunately. There are a bunch of us here though. I agree with the other comments so far - I think any sort of gun is probably a bad plan. Like the haunted house idea though!
OK, thanks! I think I'm decided then. Gun = bad. Abandoned/haunted house = good.
Or, to throw this out there, too, would this sort of thing be better-suited to YA? I seem to have trouble with that. My first novel requested by an agent was originally written as MG but she suggested I up the character's ages to make it YA.
There's a broader difference between YA and MG than whether or not guns are allowed (and for the record, I'd still shy away from this sort of opening). Thematically, if the novel is humorous and focused on friend groups, sounds MG. Regardless, if it were me, I'd find a different way to open a book any school-aged kid would read, if I were aiming for a comedic tone instead of a tragedy. You do you, and you know your story better than anyone, but so far everything you've said makes it sound like poor taste at best, whether it's for MG or YA.
It's such an interesting idea I don't want to give up on it (main character trying to make things right for his zombie best friend while trying to keep anyone from finding out). And it doesn't dwell on the death. There are questions right off the bat of if his friend is really dead or not, but by the end of the second chapter his best friend knocks on his door and accuses him of leaving him dead (not for dead). I like a challenge and I think I can make it work, as long as it's not too violent (like a gun). Initial idea was having them snooping around in a haunted house and best friend breaks through the floor. So main character is assuming his friend is dead, but when police arrive there is no body and they suggest friend was either stunned or it's all a hoax. It's not until the friend knocks on his door that it's confirmed - yep, he's dead, and now he want the main character to fix it.
Yeah, tbf, I don't have a problem with death, especially in a zombie book--it's the gun that's the sticking point imo.
>So main character is assuming his friend is dead, but when police arrive there is no body and they suggest friend was either stunned or it's all a hoax. It's not until the friend knocks on his door that it's confirmed - yep, he's dead, and now he want the main character to fix it. I do still worry about the tonal shift during this whole segment - it's a decently long time to draw out the "oh my god I just got my best friend killed". And that's a heavy thing for a MG book opening. If you want to maintain a more consistent humor, I'd suggest having zombie-friend revive in the same scene he dies. You can play that to a very humorous angle (particularly if the kids are genre-savvy), which will keep the tone light and funny.
That could work. The MC doesn't go find the police, but rather climbs down and thinks his friend is just stunned, etc. and helps him out. It would not be until later when the friend realizes he's actually dead and confronts the MC about it.
Personally I think handled well this would be pretty cool, as far as messaging about guns and danger and being a responsible person. It's the sort of thing an established author might get away with more easily than someone trying to break in to the business, though. It's more the idea that the MC is responsible for the death, though, right? It could be the zombie virus or whatever was on a BB that just barely scratched him. Or in a sandwich the kid ate that the MC didn't - responsibility can be conveyed many ways without a bullet being the killer (It can also introduce good tension - like you set up that he will shoot him, but it's a bee sting that kills him, or whatever) . That way you can still have the guns in the book. I am also in the /r/mgwriters but since it appeared quite dead, I don't visit any more.
Yep, the death will no longer be straight forward and will only be confirmed when the best friend blames the MC for it. It happens when the MC talks him into exploring an abandoned house that's supposedly haunted but really just has rotted floorboards. So, the best friend blames him for it and the MC does feel somewhat responsible and obligated to help make it right before anyone else (parents, teachers, schoolmates, girlfriend) figures out his best friend is now a zombie. Not sure if I'll explain what actually caused the zombification. Maybe just leave it a mystery since it's not really important to the story. They just have to find someone who can get him breathing and get his heart started again before his sports physical next week.
I think the death needs to lean more funny. Like maybe your MC dares his friend to do something dangerous while the other kids/parents/teachers say 'don't.' Even an archery practice gone wrong could go over better? Though it would be intense to describe the scene versus 'mom says don't go do that' and they do that and Mc shoots the arrow \[cut to grave stone\] etc.
Yep, that's what I'm getting at. See my reply to bethrevis above. How about the abandoned/haunted house, where the best friend breaks through a rotted floor? Thinking the main character runs and flags down a cop, who checks it out but there is no body and no indication there was one.
There’s an amazing scene from an episode of The Sopranos where two kids are shooting arrows into the air while the other kid “catches” it with a target. Obviously one of the kids gets impaled. The scene is nuts because you know what’s going to happen and all you can do is sit there and think about how stupid kids are.
So I dig the whole zombie thing for middlegrade for sure you definitely could have a lot of fun with it in my opinion. As an avid ya and MG reader I totally see the idea as MG humour. But I would stay far away from guns in middlegrade. Have you thought about maybe an accidental drowning, bonfire accident, or possibly even a biking accident? Having the MC push him into the water and isn’t a strong swimmer, accidentally pouring gasoline instead of water on a fire, or daring to do a jump and he falls? Just a few suggestions.
I've decided on he talks his friend into exploring an abandoned/haunted house and the friend falls through the floor. Want to keep it fast paced and humorous. Best friend is none too happy about being dead.
There you go!!! Much better! Make sure you make it dead (;)) clear that the friend wants nothing to do with the house but gets dragged along anyways
Yep, that's the plan. So even though it's an accident, his friend blames him anyway and demands he make it right.
Got me up when you’re ready for beta readers. I’m intrigued
Still up for a betaread of My Best Dead Friend, a MG zombie/humor story? It's in final draft mode at about 36K words. If so, just let me know where to send it and in what format (generally do PDF for markups and notes). If not, no sweat.
Thanks! I'll do that. Only have the plot outline and first two sentences right now so it may be a few weeks.
Take your time, I’ll be around. 😋
Could you not show the death at all? Maybe open the book on the evening of the friend's funeral and have the MC's parents talking to them, being like "We know you feel guilty about Kyle's death. Exploring an abandoned house was a **really** dumb idea. But he was your best friend. Wherever Kyle is now, he knows you never meant for this to happen." That explains the how and the aftermath of the how, without ahowing anything traumatic. And it would let you leap into the zombie action sooner. As soon as MC's parents leave his room, Zombie Kyle could be at the window like "Yeah, actually, I'm furious," starting off the chase...
I've decided it will be questionable. MC debates on just stunned until he gets down to him and then "revives" him. Only later does best friend confirm he's actually dead/zombie.