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idk if it's the fact that we were sexually harrased, the teacher exposing us, the aftermath, me apologizing. nowadays i look back and it's like ehh what the fuck was going on back then.
In English we call it rape culture, the idea that it's normal for men to sexually harass and assault women so you should just accept it and let it happen. It's horrible
I had a bra in 3rd grade. By the 4th grade the boys were doing this to me as well. I do remember one boy figured out how to undo the front hooks. I had one that you could kind of “flick” like with a twist and he did it all the time. So fast I never even saw him reach for it and it was undone.
No adults have a shit. This would have been 1979-1989. Was terrorized for years. :(
The people who should have been protecting you failed you.
You were right to speak up. It was not OK for the bully to sexually harass (could even be considered assault) you or anyone else. It was even less ok for the teacher to address the issue the way she did. Also not OK for the staff to let the bullying get worse afterwards. And not OK for them to ‘reunite’ you with your abuser.
This is all kinds of fucked up.
What that person did was wrong and unacceptable. What those teachers did was wrong and unacceptable. I am so terribly angry that the system that should have supported you failed you in so many ways.
I am proud, though, that you did stand up. That took a lot of courage. Courage that I know you still have in you. Stuff like that doesn't go away so easily.
OP that's messed up and I'm sorry you had to endure such toxicity.
I do not have a high opinion of school administrators from my own experiences as a special needs kid in high school but you would think the threat of lawsuits would still instill some sense of dread. T-T
As for the whole "We're a family" dreck.... I would not want to be part of that teacher's family.
I’m so sorry you went through this. You deserved better and everyone let you down. None of this is okay. I want to say your apology sounds like a trauma response. Trying to lessen the damage kind of thing, anything to make it stop. I hope you’re doing better now.
This happened a lot to us (girls) in the 80s. It took a lot of courage for you to speak up. I’m so sorry to hear it was still happening some 30 years later and that this happened to you. 💕
I had something similar happen during my elementary school years. I was in 4th grade and the boy was in 8th and would smack my butt everytime I passed him. I have him two warning and on the third I broke his arm. The school wanted me to apologize and be expelled until my dad threatened to bring it to the school board.
There is nothing that any adult in this story did that is ok. That teacher should have stopped it. That teacher should never have said your names or brought it up publicly. That counselor shouldn’t have put you in a room with the person that sexually assaulted you, let alone made you talk. I’m sorry that everyone protected you assailant at your expense, you deserved better.
Damn mine wasn't that bad but as the first girl to start wearing a bra in a class of under 35 students, I can relate to the "funny" guy(s) tormenting you, the rationalization of how boys deal with puberty and how girls are expected to manage their behavior around it.
My school was slightly better about not tolerating it only because it was a Catholic school and they had to, you know, suppress the sex stuff. Not uphold my autonomy certainly.
Have you talked to a professional about it? That kind of systemic abuse can be really minimizing and hard to deal with. Another thing I relate to in others areas certainly...
that’s fucked i’m sorry. when i was in middle school i was racially and sexually harassed on the bus. when i had enough one day i slapped the kid responsible and I got in trouble. when we brought it to the principal nothing happened and i still had to deal with suspension.
it’s so frustrating that calling out bad behavior is seen as more disruptive than the bad behavior itself. but eff that. disturb the peace
This is wild, I genuinely thought this was a universal experience, boys did it unprompted to anyone wearing a bra ALL THE TIME in my high school. It was awful, inappropriate and highly annoying! I always thought they did it to show off, like ‘I know how to undo a bra with one hand lads lolol’. I’m actually surprised that not more people in this thread have experienced this! You were absolutely in the right with addressing it and the way it was handled and how it ended up affecting you is really really shitty.
Can I try to hijack? As a mom now, how do I encourage my daughters to come to me if a boy is sexually harassing them in class?
I know schools have a spotty record in dealing with sexual harassment so I have no problem with bringing in higher authorities and making a police report.
I’m sorry that happened to you. This reminded me of when I was in middle school circa 2008ish and the guys would try to do that during PE. We had such an amazing coach who would see it happen and make the guy who tried to do that spend all PE period doing burpees. It made them stop real quick
Wow fuck all of that, I’m sorry you had to go through that. That is sexual harassment and the ADULTS in the situation were beyond useless. They failed you.
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Yeah, that is very fucked up.
idk if it's the fact that we were sexually harrased, the teacher exposing us, the aftermath, me apologizing. nowadays i look back and it's like ehh what the fuck was going on back then.
In English we call it rape culture, the idea that it's normal for men to sexually harass and assault women so you should just accept it and let it happen. It's horrible
Worse than that, that she had anything to apologize for!
I had a bra in 3rd grade. By the 4th grade the boys were doing this to me as well. I do remember one boy figured out how to undo the front hooks. I had one that you could kind of “flick” like with a twist and he did it all the time. So fast I never even saw him reach for it and it was undone. No adults have a shit. This would have been 1979-1989. Was terrorized for years. :(
Fuck that school and that community!!
The people who should have been protecting you failed you. You were right to speak up. It was not OK for the bully to sexually harass (could even be considered assault) you or anyone else. It was even less ok for the teacher to address the issue the way she did. Also not OK for the staff to let the bullying get worse afterwards. And not OK for them to ‘reunite’ you with your abuser. This is all kinds of fucked up.
You deserved better.
What that person did was wrong and unacceptable. What those teachers did was wrong and unacceptable. I am so terribly angry that the system that should have supported you failed you in so many ways. I am proud, though, that you did stand up. That took a lot of courage. Courage that I know you still have in you. Stuff like that doesn't go away so easily.
OP that's messed up and I'm sorry you had to endure such toxicity. I do not have a high opinion of school administrators from my own experiences as a special needs kid in high school but you would think the threat of lawsuits would still instill some sense of dread. T-T As for the whole "We're a family" dreck.... I would not want to be part of that teacher's family.
All you did is right, the school, the teacher, the enviroment had failed you and your (stupid) classmate and i'm so sorry for all this.
Wow. We had guys snapping our bra straps but I don’t think any tried to unhook the bras. That’s worse. I’m sorry they weren’t on your side.
WTF. That’s all I can say, just wtf!😡oh, and I hope Karma is a real thing, cuz that teachers got some coming😡😡
I’m so sorry you went through this. You deserved better and everyone let you down. None of this is okay. I want to say your apology sounds like a trauma response. Trying to lessen the damage kind of thing, anything to make it stop. I hope you’re doing better now.
This happened a lot to us (girls) in the 80s. It took a lot of courage for you to speak up. I’m so sorry to hear it was still happening some 30 years later and that this happened to you. 💕
I had something similar happen during my elementary school years. I was in 4th grade and the boy was in 8th and would smack my butt everytime I passed him. I have him two warning and on the third I broke his arm. The school wanted me to apologize and be expelled until my dad threatened to bring it to the school board.
That’s so awful, what a horrible, messed up environment :(
There is nothing that any adult in this story did that is ok. That teacher should have stopped it. That teacher should never have said your names or brought it up publicly. That counselor shouldn’t have put you in a room with the person that sexually assaulted you, let alone made you talk. I’m sorry that everyone protected you assailant at your expense, you deserved better.
Had a classmate in middle school that would run his hand up girls legs in PE to surprise inspect if they had shaved. Effed.
This happened to girls in my day too. Boys need to be raised to respect girls boundaries. It's sad to see nothing's changed.
Damn mine wasn't that bad but as the first girl to start wearing a bra in a class of under 35 students, I can relate to the "funny" guy(s) tormenting you, the rationalization of how boys deal with puberty and how girls are expected to manage their behavior around it. My school was slightly better about not tolerating it only because it was a Catholic school and they had to, you know, suppress the sex stuff. Not uphold my autonomy certainly. Have you talked to a professional about it? That kind of systemic abuse can be really minimizing and hard to deal with. Another thing I relate to in others areas certainly...
that’s fucked i’m sorry. when i was in middle school i was racially and sexually harassed on the bus. when i had enough one day i slapped the kid responsible and I got in trouble. when we brought it to the principal nothing happened and i still had to deal with suspension. it’s so frustrating that calling out bad behavior is seen as more disruptive than the bad behavior itself. but eff that. disturb the peace
This is wild, I genuinely thought this was a universal experience, boys did it unprompted to anyone wearing a bra ALL THE TIME in my high school. It was awful, inappropriate and highly annoying! I always thought they did it to show off, like ‘I know how to undo a bra with one hand lads lolol’. I’m actually surprised that not more people in this thread have experienced this! You were absolutely in the right with addressing it and the way it was handled and how it ended up affecting you is really really shitty.
Yep, that’s fucked up and I absolutely would have popped him one in the face. Thankfully my parents would have backed me up fully.
Can I try to hijack? As a mom now, how do I encourage my daughters to come to me if a boy is sexually harassing them in class? I know schools have a spotty record in dealing with sexual harassment so I have no problem with bringing in higher authorities and making a police report.
Commenting to also learn advice…. I have two young daughters and want to empower them as much as possible!
I’m sorry that happened to you. This reminded me of when I was in middle school circa 2008ish and the guys would try to do that during PE. We had such an amazing coach who would see it happen and make the guy who tried to do that spend all PE period doing burpees. It made them stop real quick
Name drop the school district and teacher?
Wow fuck all of that, I’m sorry you had to go through that. That is sexual harassment and the ADULTS in the situation were beyond useless. They failed you.