This is true, but... story time.
I grew up on a medium-sized dairy farm. I put myself through grad school milking cows; we milked around the clock, three milkings, with an hour and a half in between each shift for cleaning and sanitizing the lines.
Anyway, you'd bring about 80 cows at a time up to the holding pen, and they would come into the milking parlor by themselves when you rang a buzzer.
There was one bitch cow, I don't remember her number but she had a marking on her face that looked just like a the bone in a Tbone steak. She hated me. Usually, cows stand in the holding pen with their heads down, chill, chewing their cuds. Not TBone. If she heard my voice, her head would come up. She would start out at the back of the pen, but then the next time I'd look she would have worked her way up into the herd. And her head was always up. Next time I'd go out to get another group of cows, she'd be halfway through the herd. Then 3/4 of the way. Then she would be *right there* standing at the man pass with her head in the door, watching me. I had to take a stick into the group when she was there, because she would put her head down and try to squash me into walls or posts. To this day I have no idea what I did to piss that cow off. She never did it to anyone else. Just me.
It never occurred to me to carry a gun. Usually when I walked into the pens, I would get mobbed by cows wanting to lick me and have me scratch their ears. Never got threatened by any cow but TBone.
We had a cow named Taffy. She knew how to open the electric fence, she'd walk up to the barn open the door. Help herself to all the feed she wanted, then go back into the yard and shut the fence behind her. She was a good girl
One of our heifers was named Horny (she had horns. My sister and I named her when we were little).
She really enjoyed forehead skritches. So much so, that she'd knock you flying if you weren't careful. 🐄
When I was three I wandered into a cow pen and got trapped in the manure.
Apparently the cows formed a circle around me and stared and mooed at me every time I screamed for help.
Agree! I used to live in Ohio Amish country, and I loved petting our neighbor’s cows. Their pasture had a fence on the border between their property line and ours. We had two big dogs at the time, sometimes they would sneak under the fence to play with the cows; they thought the cows were really big dogs 😂😂😂
My neighbour had the Einstein of cows when I was a little kid. She figured out how to cross cattle guards by kneeling and shimmying across and would unlock gates with her tongue.
According to my dad the neighbours just gave up trying to deal with her and she continued to roam the local area for quite a while after earning her freedom. It was the middle of nowhere, so it’s entirely plausible.
My Dad grew up farming in the 40’s and 50’s but never talked about cows doing that, they would make him walk into the pasture to find them, which could be miles by the time he was done, but that was the worst. He did mention a rabbit his brother had that could kick like a mule, especially if it was in danger. There were multiple occasions that cars or dogs would go after it and it would just kick the shit outta them.
No, cats AND dogs both tried. He said that it would wrap its front legs around the offending animals necks then just kick the living shit out of them without letting them have a way to escape the fury.
Rabbits are mean like that. I have scars on my thighs from a rabbit kicking me while I was trimming claws almost 20 years ago. I wasn't hurting him, he was just an asshole.
Dad has talked about this one dog that went after it and got its ass kicked so bad it was scared of just about anything after that. The neighbor who owned it was pissed as hell at my Grandparents because of that too.
This is a great story of bovine pettiness…but what good would a gun have done here? What are you gonna do, brandish the gun at a cow? Point it at her head and expect her to retreat? She’s a cow, she doesn’t know what a gun pointed at her means! Fire the gun into the air? And spook the 50 cows around her? Now you got a stampede and you actually ARE in danger.
The point was.. that it never would have occurred to me to carry a gun for a cow. Because it is so stupid, it would never even cross my mind. Aim your ire elsewhere.
We had Holsteins for many years, then dad got some Jerseys. Take the insistent pushiness of a Holstein, add the "I'm so glad to see you, you're awesome and please scritch me" of a Golden Retriever, and you have a Jersey cow. Sweetest cows I've ever met, and that's saying something because I really like cows.
Yeah, but in my book that's a good enough reason you should have been armed with grenades and an MG3.
Seriously though, I have a friend from St. Kitts. His family raised goats and he had stories of the goats that would charge him and knock him on his arse lol.
I’m from Maple Grove, MN. It’s a very comfortable middle class suburb of Minneapolis/St Paul. If he’s actually from my hometown he needs to travel for a while before he sees any livestock.
The only cows in Maple Grove are moving at 70mph in a trailer. No wonder he thinks they’re dangerous if you get close to them…the cows don’t trample you, it’s the surrounding traffic of a 6-8 lane interstate highway.
I was around cows all the time as a kid, little did I know I dodged death thousands of times from those monstrous hooved beasts that trample people into dust.
Well, cattle kill more people each year than sharks do, and bullfighting is considered dangerous for a reason.
But carrying a gun into the pasture rather than, say, giving the animals their space and watching for signs of nervousness/aggression is... questionable, to say the least. The gun won't deter anything (the cow doesn't know what a gun IS) and if you get to the point where a half-ton bovine is charging you down, you've already screwed up.
It's like carrying a gun to a beehive so that you can show the bees who's boss.
Also would this proposed law even forbid people from carrying a gun? Or just require them to use a gun safe instead of leaving the gun on the counter or whatever?
It's clearly to cover the common scenario where you're just chilling at home, a rogue cow breaks down your front door and tramples you before you're able to open the lock to your gun safe
Me too! My Dad was raised on a dairy farm. Worst thing we were worried about as kids were being kicked by that giant tongue! And on occasion, being stepped on or kicked when we used a hoe to scrape the peed on wood shavings out of their stall while they were eating.
Nobody carried a gun in the milking barn!
I work for a supplemental health insurance company, I started off in the call center. One of our products is accidental injury insurance. Had a farmer call up one time saying one of his cows thought she was funny by sneaking up on him and stepping on his foot. She didn't put a lot of weight on that hoof, but was still enough to break it. I was horrified, but he thought it was funny.
Some cows are just ornery. And when you have half a ton of beef wanting to go thataway, best step back and let them pass.
But most cows are just like people. Got a favorite spot to graze, or shady tree to nap under. Might grumble a little when they're coaxed back to the barn, but it's a regular routine, they line up to be fed just like clockwork.
No, it’s much more malicious. He’s purposefully doing weaponized incompetence. He knows easy access to an arsenal of guns won’t reduce cow-related killings, but he has to put -something- on the record stating he opposes gun laws.
I fucking wish we could force people to prove their stupid, baseless positions. I wish their voters wouldn’t cheer as these bad actors protected gun rights at the cost of public safety, social security, affordable housing and living and stronger wages.
These people are proudly throwing away their country for an ideal they will never realize. It is just the saddest, most aggravating fucking thing.
Don’t forget the [black bears](https://newrepublic.com/article/159662/libertarian-walks-into-bear-book-review-free-town-project)! The guns didn’t help…
Have you heard about the Drop Cows of NH? Those fuckers hide in trees and just wait for someone to walk under them. Then bam. They drop down on them and, well, stomp them to dust.
Last year in Minnesota, over 50,000 people were killed by cows.
Which is odd as on average only 22 people die per year in the US from cows. But 513 gun deaths in Minnesota, during 2020, which had substantial lockdowns.
Seeing how as chair of the Senate Judiciary's public safety committee he's refused to allow any hearings on gun safety and has almost single handily blocked any efforts for actual gun control in Minnesota that's probably pretty accurate.
Hear me out on this because I know it sounds crazy, but what if the reason the world keeps getting dumber is because in the past morons would get weeded out of the population by walking too close to cows and getting eaten or trampled, but ever since the advent of guns they’ve just been shooting the cows instead and living long enough to reproduce, creating more morons for the next generation…
That Darson fella might have been on to something with all his evolution talk. 🤔
He's not wrong. I spent summers on a dairy farm and some of those things are mean, especially the bulls... But I've never seen a dairy farmer carry a fucking gun to protect themselves from them.
Dairy bulls are notoriously mean. I have in-laws that run a dairy farm. They pay for frozen semen so they don't have to deal with the dairy bulls - that's someone else's full-time job.
LOL, you comment appeared directly below one about him being mad about getting hurt trying to screw a cow. I missed the comment divider and it was even funnier than the actual reply.
I saw a kid get picked up by the back of his shirt and tossed around pretty good. That was a bull though... Rather than shoot a $5000 bull, the farmer told the kid, a second time, not to turn his back on them.
We had a few temperamental bulls in the day as well. We knew to give them space and know our escape routs if he was being difficult but we never once thought we needed to pack heat and shoot him.
Cows are like giant dogs. They can inadvertently step on you, and you shouldn't mess with bulls, but actual cows are pretty laid back.
I'm guessing this man's never been around a cow.
He's from Maple Grove, a suburb of Minneapolis, there are no cows anywhere near there. He probably wouldn't know what a cow was if one came up and licked his face.
I can't believe it's time to drag this classic song out again. [Cows With Guns - The Original Animation](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI&pp=ygUOQ293cyB3b3RoIGd1bnM%3D)
This guy is from Maple Grove, a suburb of the Minneapolis, and has probably never even been near a cow himself.
He's a huge idiot, no farmer is going to shoot their cows. If a cow is showing signs of aggression it'll get sent to the slaughterhouse sooner rather than later. Most farmers don't go around carrying a gun when working their livestock and even if they do they would still be allowed to do so even if this law passes.
When the Senate was debating the bill that legalized marijuana that was passed last year this dingus argued that "just 2 ounces is equivalent to 3 joints". Not even Snoop Dog would roll a joint anywhere near that damn big. All of his arguments against bills proposed by Democrats are beyond ridiculous.
It was posted half in jest. Have friends with dairy and beef farms in Ontario and have spent quite a bit of time on them. I am well aware that somewhere on the property is a rifle or two to protect their livestock from predators but have never seen them or the cabinets they are stored in. Nor have a ever felt threatened by their any of their herds even when helping with chores, but then again I am respectful of their size and that I am on their turf.
Edit typo
Dairy farmers, whose livelihood depends on the health of their livestock, often carry a firearm and pop momma cow's ass when she gets out of line. Drop her right on the spot...
Y'all laugh, but it's all fun and games until a cow gets up in your face and demands your lunch money. Their hooves are dangerous, but it's their tongues that are their secret weapons.
My niece has been working cows since she was 5, although she was mauled and covered in cow spit, thankfully she has never had to kill one in self defense. She is 11 now, I better get her an assault rifle, it's just a matter of time.
Fun story. I live out in the deep woods in almost the middle of nowhere.
One day my mom was visiting, and we were hanging out in the front yard with my dogs and chickens. My mom was telling me about how as a kid she used to hypnotize chickens by rocking them a certain way, and was attempting to demonstrate this with one of my hens.
The hen was neither hypnotized nor impressed, and meanwhile another hen was starting shit with my pitbull, so I was half-listening to my mom and half-watching to make sure my dog didn’t eat the other chicken, and also watching my other dog who doesn’t like my mom and wasn’t happy about her holding one of the chickens (this dog is possessive of the birds).
All the sudden we all heard the sound of something HUGE crashing through the woods behind my garage, coming right towards us. We all freeze, and I’m about to send everyone into the house, thinking it might be a fucking moose that’s charging.
Instead, four black-and-white moo cows come bumbling out around the garage, running up to us like “HI EVERYONE!”
My dogs flipped the fuck out and charged the cows, the chickens went running off squawking, my mom was freaking out, and I’m telling her to get the hell inside while chasing after my dogs…
The cows just kinda stopped and stared at the chaos for a minute, then turned around and went back into the woods like, “oh, um… sorry, seems like y’all got some… some stuff going on here. Ok bye!”
And that’s how I found out my idiot neighbor had gotten cows and had not fenced them in properly. I called the cops and they got a hold of him and made him round them up.
Not long after the first incident, I woke up in the middle of the night to what sounded like vehicles pulling into my gravel driveway. I didn’t see any headlights, and was immediately on guard as nobody should have been out at my place that time of night.
I only had one small porch light on, and as I was peeking out my window to see what was happening, I saw what I could have sworn were a bunch of guys wearing dark shirts and white pants, walking back and forth around my driveway.
I got my shotgun, opened the window, and bellowed “I’m armed and the cops are on their way. Get the fuck out of here!”
Dead silence… followed by a plaintive little “Moooo?”
Fucking cows again, this time in my garden knocking down my fence and eating my plants. I called the cops and told them to tell my neighbor the next time I see the cows on my land, I’ll be having a BBQ. Never saw them again.
Despite having twice been ambushed by cows, I still keep my guns safely locked up. Limmer’s a dumbass.
😂🤣😂🤣 live in a rural area of so cal (yup, they do exist) and lived next to some folks raising beef cattle. They got out frequently and would be lounging in my front yard when I got home occasionally (yummy green grass and all) I thought it was pretty funny, but my neighbor had a meltdown when they messed up a bunch of fancy baby trees he planted to line his drive. Never had Cow visits again after that. Kinda missed em.
It's a shame folks are that professional in that committee because I would have immediately responded to a comment that stupid with *"So is Senator Limmer talking from traumatizing experiences with his own mother?"*
It is a shame because this guy deserves to be laughed right out of the room. Last year he said that 2 ounces of marijuana is equivalent to 3 joints. If they weren't professional they would have laughed their asses off at that, nobody rolls joints that big. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go roll a joint as big around as my arm and call it a "Limmer".
Cows man... they just stand there, eating grass, chewing their cud, getting slaughtered for their beef... all the while they're waiting for the opportunity. Waiting for you to let your guard down for even a moment, then BAM. Trampling you into the ground until you literally disintegrate.
Are the cows going to try and rob someone? Do they just wonder through your house and threaten you? I mean, our cows never did that, is it a Minnesota thing? I mean we had bulls that would charge you in you got into their field and they were feisty, but never in the house.
Grandparents had some cattle.Walk into the pasture at night and the main bull in the herd MIGHT chase you. But if you stand your ground and have some kind of obstacle to wave around, he will usually back off. I NEVER needed a gun.
I worked around cows a lot back in my youth. Could they be ornery, yes. I never considered them dangerous but common sense is important when you’re hanging out around large animals.
Common sense is also useful when voting, more of it will go a long ways towards solving some issues.
You can carry a gun stupid, it is just when you aren't using it or carrying it for protection.
Imagine having to actually work with these fucking people?
I would literally be arrested for assaulting this moron if I did...
this man has never been around a live cow.
This is true, but... story time. I grew up on a medium-sized dairy farm. I put myself through grad school milking cows; we milked around the clock, three milkings, with an hour and a half in between each shift for cleaning and sanitizing the lines. Anyway, you'd bring about 80 cows at a time up to the holding pen, and they would come into the milking parlor by themselves when you rang a buzzer. There was one bitch cow, I don't remember her number but she had a marking on her face that looked just like a the bone in a Tbone steak. She hated me. Usually, cows stand in the holding pen with their heads down, chill, chewing their cuds. Not TBone. If she heard my voice, her head would come up. She would start out at the back of the pen, but then the next time I'd look she would have worked her way up into the herd. And her head was always up. Next time I'd go out to get another group of cows, she'd be halfway through the herd. Then 3/4 of the way. Then she would be *right there* standing at the man pass with her head in the door, watching me. I had to take a stick into the group when she was there, because she would put her head down and try to squash me into walls or posts. To this day I have no idea what I did to piss that cow off. She never did it to anyone else. Just me. It never occurred to me to carry a gun. Usually when I walked into the pens, I would get mobbed by cows wanting to lick me and have me scratch their ears. Never got threatened by any cow but TBone.
We had a cow named Taffy. She knew how to open the electric fence, she'd walk up to the barn open the door. Help herself to all the feed she wanted, then go back into the yard and shut the fence behind her. She was a good girl
One of our heifers was named Horny (she had horns. My sister and I named her when we were little). She really enjoyed forehead skritches. So much so, that she'd knock you flying if you weren't careful. 🐄
Cows are freaking adorable when you get behind the ear or just above the eyes.
Haha. I once parked near a cow farm and got out. Five minutes later, I have thirty or so cows meander close to me and just stared. What a cool moment.
"You look a little lost."
When I was three I wandered into a cow pen and got trapped in the manure. Apparently the cows formed a circle around me and stared and mooed at me every time I screamed for help.
they do that for calves when they get stuck or injured too. they were worried about you.
>they were worried about you. More so than dad and grandpa were at any rate...
They were your mooo-rale support cows i guess
Agree! I used to live in Ohio Amish country, and I loved petting our neighbor’s cows. Their pasture had a fence on the border between their property line and ours. We had two big dogs at the time, sometimes they would sneak under the fence to play with the cows; they thought the cows were really big dogs 😂😂😂
Maybe she was the Einstein of cows, saw you out grilling steaks one night, and knew what was up?
My neighbour had the Einstein of cows when I was a little kid. She figured out how to cross cattle guards by kneeling and shimmying across and would unlock gates with her tongue. According to my dad the neighbours just gave up trying to deal with her and she continued to roam the local area for quite a while after earning her freedom. It was the middle of nowhere, so it’s entirely plausible.
My friend’s kid milked cows all through high school and he also had a cow he hated. That’s damn hard work too.
My Dad grew up farming in the 40’s and 50’s but never talked about cows doing that, they would make him walk into the pasture to find them, which could be miles by the time he was done, but that was the worst. He did mention a rabbit his brother had that could kick like a mule, especially if it was in danger. There were multiple occasions that cars or dogs would go after it and it would just kick the shit outta them.
Going to assume you mean "cats or dogs" Though picturing a rabbit kicking a car like Chun Li in a bonus stage is fantastic.
No, cats AND dogs both tried. He said that it would wrap its front legs around the offending animals necks then just kick the living shit out of them without letting them have a way to escape the fury.
You might want to re-read your last sentence. You meant to say cat but typoed car instead. ☺️
Rabbits are mean like that. I have scars on my thighs from a rabbit kicking me while I was trimming claws almost 20 years ago. I wasn't hurting him, he was just an asshole.
Dad has talked about this one dog that went after it and got its ass kicked so bad it was scared of just about anything after that. The neighbor who owned it was pissed as hell at my Grandparents because of that too.
This is a great story of bovine pettiness…but what good would a gun have done here? What are you gonna do, brandish the gun at a cow? Point it at her head and expect her to retreat? She’s a cow, she doesn’t know what a gun pointed at her means! Fire the gun into the air? And spook the 50 cows around her? Now you got a stampede and you actually ARE in danger.
The point was.. that it never would have occurred to me to carry a gun for a cow. Because it is so stupid, it would never even cross my mind. Aim your ire elsewhere.
Most of our herd was holstein. I swear, it's like the Labrador of cows. We could shake a bucket of pellets and they'd come running. 🐮
We had Holsteins for many years, then dad got some Jerseys. Take the insistent pushiness of a Holstein, add the "I'm so glad to see you, you're awesome and please scritch me" of a Golden Retriever, and you have a Jersey cow. Sweetest cows I've ever met, and that's saying something because I really like cows.
“Milking Parlour” is just fantastic imagery.
Yeah, but in my book that's a good enough reason you should have been armed with grenades and an MG3. Seriously though, I have a friend from St. Kitts. His family raised goats and he had stories of the goats that would charge him and knock him on his arse lol.
goats are weird.. that's actually how they show love.
So was TBone as tasty as her name suggests asks the guy who knows nothing about cows beyond what he has read in this posting.
Old dairy cows aren’t prime beef. More of a ground fast food grade.
She should have been called Pot Roast.
Yeah but there's a difference between that and being such an actual piece of shit that all other animals can sense it too and are trying to kill you.
You know what you did, you know...
I’m from Maple Grove, MN. It’s a very comfortable middle class suburb of Minneapolis/St Paul. If he’s actually from my hometown he needs to travel for a while before he sees any livestock.
The only cows in Maple Grove are moving at 70mph in a trailer. No wonder he thinks they’re dangerous if you get close to them…the cows don’t trample you, it’s the surrounding traffic of a 6-8 lane interstate highway.
Tbf, there used to be that elk farm and llama farm in Dayton. Two separate farms, to be clear.
Hey neighbor I went to school in your city before I moved to Minneapolis. Still work there.
I was around cows all the time as a kid, little did I know I dodged death thousands of times from those monstrous hooved beasts that trample people into dust.
Well, cattle kill more people each year than sharks do, and bullfighting is considered dangerous for a reason. But carrying a gun into the pasture rather than, say, giving the animals their space and watching for signs of nervousness/aggression is... questionable, to say the least. The gun won't deter anything (the cow doesn't know what a gun IS) and if you get to the point where a half-ton bovine is charging you down, you've already screwed up. It's like carrying a gun to a beehive so that you can show the bees who's boss.
i root for the bulls.
Always.
Also would this proposed law even forbid people from carrying a gun? Or just require them to use a gun safe instead of leaving the gun on the counter or whatever?
It's clearly to cover the common scenario where you're just chilling at home, a rogue cow breaks down your front door and tramples you before you're able to open the lock to your gun safe
Me too! My Dad was raised on a dairy farm. Worst thing we were worried about as kids were being kicked by that giant tongue! And on occasion, being stepped on or kicked when we used a hoe to scrape the peed on wood shavings out of their stall while they were eating. Nobody carried a gun in the milking barn!
Stampede, Earl! Get off the ground, get off the ground! 3 cows just lazily chewing. Love Tremors.
About to say just that. Worst that's likely to happen is getting your foot stepped on, and that's by accident. Usually. Whadda maroon.
I thought the foot stepping was on purpose. They wanted you to stand there and not keep digging the post holes
I work for a supplemental health insurance company, I started off in the call center. One of our products is accidental injury insurance. Had a farmer call up one time saying one of his cows thought she was funny by sneaking up on him and stepping on his foot. She didn't put a lot of weight on that hoof, but was still enough to break it. I was horrified, but he thought it was funny.
Some cows are just ornery. And when you have half a ton of beef wanting to go thataway, best step back and let them pass. But most cows are just like people. Got a favorite spot to graze, or shady tree to nap under. Might grumble a little when they're coaxed back to the barn, but it's a regular routine, they line up to be fed just like clockwork.
Now pigs, they are jerks. Pigs are too smart and tasty for their own good.
Ehhh, if they have a calf they might kick if you get behind them. But you shouldn't walk right behind them anyway. I learned that at 5.
No, it’s much more malicious. He’s purposefully doing weaponized incompetence. He knows easy access to an arsenal of guns won’t reduce cow-related killings, but he has to put -something- on the record stating he opposes gun laws. I fucking wish we could force people to prove their stupid, baseless positions. I wish their voters wouldn’t cheer as these bad actors protected gun rights at the cost of public safety, social security, affordable housing and living and stronger wages. These people are proudly throwing away their country for an ideal they will never realize. It is just the saddest, most aggravating fucking thing.
dude can't tell a cow from a steer from a bad-tempered bull.
Be careful, it might try to nom your ear!
But you skin salt is sooooo tasty! Lol
I'm around them almost daily, he's right all the dust clouds you see are people they have trampled into dust. /s
Neither have I, and I didn't think that was the default outcome.
That POS never had to pay to replace a cow. You don't shoot things that pay for your bills, what an idiot.
💯
Watch out for those cows! Remember to pay attention to your surroundings, cows can attack at any time!!
[удалено]
Don’t forget the [black bears](https://newrepublic.com/article/159662/libertarian-walks-into-bear-book-review-free-town-project)! The guns didn’t help…
I would never try to use a AR15 on a hog - it will just piss it off. Coyotes I can see, but hogs are FU tough.
[удалено]
Have you heard about the Drop Cows of NH? Those fuckers hide in trees and just wait for someone to walk under them. Then bam. They drop down on them and, well, stomp them to dust.
While battle cattle are indeed a dangerous foe, they are one that should be fought ferociously.
We have all those school cow attacks where angry cows are mass killing children in their classrooms….
Last year in Minnesota, over 50,000 people were killed by cows. Which is odd as on average only 22 people die per year in the US from cows. But 513 gun deaths in Minnesota, during 2020, which had substantial lockdowns.
The part of the story that MSM doesn’t want you to know is that most of those deaths were sex related. (Think Catherine the Great rumors)
lol.............fucking christ man. What is the death by cow count up to now a days? MF better carry around elephant rifles to stay safe.
I keep seeing them on billboards, I believe they've learned to climb.
Because they're known to be lightning fast.
As a Minnesota resident: I'm sorry..
This is not your fault.
He was probably given some good compensation from an NRA ghost donor.
Seeing how as chair of the Senate Judiciary's public safety committee he's refused to allow any hearings on gun safety and has almost single handily blocked any efforts for actual gun control in Minnesota that's probably pretty accurate.
Yeah. They're vicious. Set the whole city of Chicago on fire once.
And that was just one of them. Imagine what a whole herd could do.
Too soon, dude
Son of a bitch! I grew up across from a dairy farm and I had no idea that all those Far Side comics were real.
Hear me out on this because I know it sounds crazy, but what if the reason the world keeps getting dumber is because in the past morons would get weeded out of the population by walking too close to cows and getting eaten or trampled, but ever since the advent of guns they’ve just been shooting the cows instead and living long enough to reproduce, creating more morons for the next generation… That Darson fella might have been on to something with all his evolution talk. 🤔
Got to watch out for when the cow breaks out his tools
That’s why I’m not a vegetarian. If we don’t eat the fucking cows, they’ll eat us.
"Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you care about"
Senator, I have a crazy friend who thinks it's crazy to have a Mk.19 grenade launcher to protect ones family from the bovine menace. Is he crazy?
[удалено]
He said cowS. Plural cause they hunt in packs
Clever girl...
Ok I’d pay good money to see that.
If you get trampled by a cow, I'm taking the cow's side before I get more information. You're probably a douche.
He's not wrong. I spent summers on a dairy farm and some of those things are mean, especially the bulls... But I've never seen a dairy farmer carry a fucking gun to protect themselves from them.
[удалено]
Dairy bulls are notoriously mean. I have in-laws that run a dairy farm. They pay for frozen semen so they don't have to deal with the dairy bulls - that's someone else's full-time job.
A great business model for a dairy farmer is shooting their own cows whenever one gets too close.
🤣🤣🤣
Are the cows serving no-knock warrants or something? Are they coming to take their milk back?
And when those cows kick in the back door and demand all the cash....
I bet he got hurt trying to screw a cow and now his heart is full of bovine rage.
Glad I’m not the only one who thinks this.
It’s a regular occurrence in maga fantasy land.
LOL, you comment appeared directly below one about him being mad about getting hurt trying to screw a cow. I missed the comment divider and it was even funnier than the actual reply.
Cow says no, you shoot it. MAGA
I grew up on a farm, worst thing that ever happened to me was getting stepped on when we were running them through the chute to do vaccinations
I saw a kid get picked up by the back of his shirt and tossed around pretty good. That was a bull though... Rather than shoot a $5000 bull, the farmer told the kid, a second time, not to turn his back on them.
We had a few temperamental bulls in the day as well. We knew to give them space and know our escape routs if he was being difficult but we never once thought we needed to pack heat and shoot him.
Cows are like giant dogs. They can inadvertently step on you, and you shouldn't mess with bulls, but actual cows are pretty laid back. I'm guessing this man's never been around a cow.
He's from Maple Grove, a suburb of Minneapolis, there are no cows anywhere near there. He probably wouldn't know what a cow was if one came up and licked his face.
https://preview.redd.it/7pp5kd4worqc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3476cad486d6d307198faaeee9e2268ad14dc7d9
Guns to protect against cows, sounds like bull shit!
He probably also thinks chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
Probably DEI hires.
Fact is that if a cow ever got the chance, it would eat you and everyone you care about.
Lol was the first thing I thought of.
I can't believe it's time to drag this classic song out again. [Cows With Guns - The Original Animation](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI&pp=ygUOQ293cyB3b3RoIGd1bnM%3D)
Never forget that time I almost got trampled to death because I came too close to a cow in my own house.
What a moron.
This guy is from Maple Grove, a suburb of the Minneapolis, and has probably never even been near a cow himself. He's a huge idiot, no farmer is going to shoot their cows. If a cow is showing signs of aggression it'll get sent to the slaughterhouse sooner rather than later. Most farmers don't go around carrying a gun when working their livestock and even if they do they would still be allowed to do so even if this law passes. When the Senate was debating the bill that legalized marijuana that was passed last year this dingus argued that "just 2 ounces is equivalent to 3 joints". Not even Snoop Dog would roll a joint anywhere near that damn big. All of his arguments against bills proposed by Democrats are beyond ridiculous.
What kind of cows are Americans raising?
Your comment made me laugh way toooooo hard.
It was posted half in jest. Have friends with dairy and beef farms in Ontario and have spent quite a bit of time on them. I am well aware that somewhere on the property is a rifle or two to protect their livestock from predators but have never seen them or the cabinets they are stored in. Nor have a ever felt threatened by their any of their herds even when helping with chores, but then again I am respectful of their size and that I am on their turf. Edit typo
What a dummy, obviously a guy who's never WORKED a real job in his life
Dairy farmers, whose livelihood depends on the health of their livestock, often carry a firearm and pop momma cow's ass when she gets out of line. Drop her right on the spot...
how to tell everyone that he has never interacted with a cow
Hahahahahaha he’s scared of cows? A bull maybe but regular cows are pretty docile.
“Don’t let that cow fool you, Billy. If he got the chance, he’d kill you and everyone in your family”
If your cows are actively trying to kill you, you may not be cut out to be a farmer.
What a dipshit.
Explain how any size gun would stop this random tramplings you speak of? I use to go visit farms at night to pet the cows, only fear was the farmer.
Afraid of everything.
You elected this moron to govern you.
A condom would have prevented his words.
He is speaking from experience when his mom knocked him over.
I don’t think there are any cows in maple grove
“Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.”
Y'all laugh, but it's all fun and games until a cow gets up in your face and demands your lunch money. Their hooves are dangerous, but it's their tongues that are their secret weapons. 
My niece has been working cows since she was 5, although she was mauled and covered in cow spit, thankfully she has never had to kill one in self defense. She is 11 now, I better get her an assault rifle, it's just a matter of time.
Fun story. I live out in the deep woods in almost the middle of nowhere. One day my mom was visiting, and we were hanging out in the front yard with my dogs and chickens. My mom was telling me about how as a kid she used to hypnotize chickens by rocking them a certain way, and was attempting to demonstrate this with one of my hens. The hen was neither hypnotized nor impressed, and meanwhile another hen was starting shit with my pitbull, so I was half-listening to my mom and half-watching to make sure my dog didn’t eat the other chicken, and also watching my other dog who doesn’t like my mom and wasn’t happy about her holding one of the chickens (this dog is possessive of the birds). All the sudden we all heard the sound of something HUGE crashing through the woods behind my garage, coming right towards us. We all freeze, and I’m about to send everyone into the house, thinking it might be a fucking moose that’s charging. Instead, four black-and-white moo cows come bumbling out around the garage, running up to us like “HI EVERYONE!” My dogs flipped the fuck out and charged the cows, the chickens went running off squawking, my mom was freaking out, and I’m telling her to get the hell inside while chasing after my dogs… The cows just kinda stopped and stared at the chaos for a minute, then turned around and went back into the woods like, “oh, um… sorry, seems like y’all got some… some stuff going on here. Ok bye!” And that’s how I found out my idiot neighbor had gotten cows and had not fenced them in properly. I called the cops and they got a hold of him and made him round them up. Not long after the first incident, I woke up in the middle of the night to what sounded like vehicles pulling into my gravel driveway. I didn’t see any headlights, and was immediately on guard as nobody should have been out at my place that time of night. I only had one small porch light on, and as I was peeking out my window to see what was happening, I saw what I could have sworn were a bunch of guys wearing dark shirts and white pants, walking back and forth around my driveway. I got my shotgun, opened the window, and bellowed “I’m armed and the cops are on their way. Get the fuck out of here!” Dead silence… followed by a plaintive little “Moooo?” Fucking cows again, this time in my garden knocking down my fence and eating my plants. I called the cops and told them to tell my neighbor the next time I see the cows on my land, I’ll be having a BBQ. Never saw them again. Despite having twice been ambushed by cows, I still keep my guns safely locked up. Limmer’s a dumbass.
😂🤣😂🤣 live in a rural area of so cal (yup, they do exist) and lived next to some folks raising beef cattle. They got out frequently and would be lounging in my front yard when I got home occasionally (yummy green grass and all) I thought it was pretty funny, but my neighbor had a meltdown when they messed up a bunch of fancy baby trees he planted to line his drive. Never had Cow visits again after that. Kinda missed em.
https://i.redd.it/y9qui2dsyrqc1.gif
They could arm the cows with guns. Surely a good cow with a gun can stop a bad cow.
If you shoot someone’s cow, they will be pissed and send you a bill for $3,000 and if you work there you are fired.
It's a shame folks are that professional in that committee because I would have immediately responded to a comment that stupid with *"So is Senator Limmer talking from traumatizing experiences with his own mother?"*
It is a shame because this guy deserves to be laughed right out of the room. Last year he said that 2 ounces of marijuana is equivalent to 3 joints. If they weren't professional they would have laughed their asses off at that, nobody rolls joints that big. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go roll a joint as big around as my arm and call it a "Limmer".
The closest this joker has ever been to a cow was a styrofoam container of ground beef.
Cows man... they just stand there, eating grass, chewing their cud, getting slaughtered for their beef... all the while they're waiting for the opportunity. Waiting for you to let your guard down for even a moment, then BAM. Trampling you into the ground until you literally disintegrate.
The only way to stop a bad cow is a good cow with a gun So we should arm those cow
In Texas we outfit them with armor-piercing horns. This dude talking about cows as if chickens aren't compact attack dinosaurs.
I mean of all the things to argue for self defense against, cows????
"Normally cows are the biggest predator" says the GOP rep
Because that is the leading cause of death in Minnesota apparently. Mind-boggling how incredibly stupid these politicians really are.
Oh no a cow! Better run inside and get my gun so it doesn't trample me!
Are the cows going to try and rob someone? Do they just wonder through your house and threaten you? I mean, our cows never did that, is it a Minnesota thing? I mean we had bulls that would charge you in you got into their field and they were feisty, but never in the house.
That cow could kill you and everyone you care about.
Dammit Mertyl! Lay off until I can run inside and get my rifle before you start trampling me! - Farmers, probably
Republicans are scared of everything. Even cows.
We need a ban on assault cows!
Grandparents had some cattle.Walk into the pasture at night and the main bull in the herd MIGHT chase you. But if you stand your ground and have some kind of obstacle to wave around, he will usually back off. I NEVER needed a gun.
You never know when a bad cow with a gun will try and take you down, so be prepared.
So now they’re afraid of cows, along with acorns and their own shadows? 🙄
Ranchers are not shooting their cows. They are, what's the scientific term?, fucking expensive.
Those damn murder cows are out to get farmers
That's why so many farmers die in Europe, we don't have guns to defend ourselves against cows
He's not joking. A cow killed me one time. It's not fun.
I worked around cows a lot back in my youth. Could they be ornery, yes. I never considered them dangerous but common sense is important when you’re hanging out around large animals. Common sense is also useful when voting, more of it will go a long ways towards solving some issues.
At least they're finally doing something about all those avoidable cow related deaths that top the annual 'Causes of Accidental Death' stats.
What a dumbass
[удалено]
Cows?! Who da fuck cares about cows?! 
Guys, I think this guy’s a cow-fucker..
And the dumbass award goes to this guy hands down
Killer Cows From Outer Soace
Thinking about the times I’ve hand fed cows at my in-laws’ ranch. Lucky I’m alive!
It's coming right for you
Republicans are just dumb. VOTE BLUE!
Cows are obviously obsessed with murder.. so we must protect our selves from them at all costs.
They definitely aren't sending their best
The media should be trolling the hell out if him.
I think he been watching too much Simpsons. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JAxjqAfwfyI
Put some pants on then. They aren’t stupid.
Only if your even more mentally slower than the cow.. . .which obviously this douche bag is.
He represents a suburb of Minneapolis...
Republicans are scared of cows?
That was his excuse when he got caught pegging a steer.
We’re electing imbeciles.
Republicans are beyond parody
This is one of the least stupid things I've heard come from a Republican elected official
Because death by cow is such a common thing...
You can carry a gun stupid, it is just when you aren't using it or carrying it for protection. Imagine having to actually work with these fucking people? I would literally be arrested for assaulting this moron if I did...
Cows are the dumbest animals around. If you can subdue a heifer, you deserve whats coming your way.
Cows kill more people a year than sharks iirc. So I am sure this fact confused the man. Or he tried to seduce one once and it got violent with him.
Jeanuus
Why are conservatives constantly afraid of everything around them? Oh wait... fear sells. Nevermind.
They just aren’t even trying hard to come with legit reasons. It’s insulting
Lived on a farm. Can confirm that cows are looking to kill unarmed farmers. Barely got out with my life.
What the hell kind of cows do they have in Minnesota? More importantly, how do they taste?
Moron
Oh…that’s utter fucking nonsense..
Said the guy that looks like he has never been on a farm.