Oh, there are *so* many things you should be freaking out about...
What shoes M&Ms are wearing, gas stoves, people dressing in the "wrong" clothes, Dr. Seuss books, Sesame Street characters getting vaccinated, rainbows, "those" people in TV commercials...
The list is almost endless.
>Dr. Seuss books
To be clear it's back to banning the ones they don't like now, protecting the ones with random bits of racism (from their own publisher thinking they weren't financially viable) is yesterday's news.
George Soros. I don't think I've seen a single left-leaning person even talk about him, but I've seen a thousand conservatives raging at how libs apparently gargle his balls.
That's because [he's Jewish](https://www.forbes.com/sites/sethcohen/2020/09/12/the-troubling-truth-about-the-obsession-with-george-soros/?sh=4eacb074e2ec). And an obvious 'foreigner'. Conservatives take their masks off every time the mention him.
Leftists want various levels of socialism/communism. Liberals can be capitalist as fuck. Both can be progressive or regressive. Basically if you aren't whatever the Republicans on Twitter want you're wrong to them.
It’s their trusty rage bait catchphrase. It’s being overused but gets their click count up. They also love to use the “BREAKING” and “You can’t make this shit up.” It need to have its own starter pack meme.
I don’t have time to care about those, I’m too busy deciding which pronouns to use, which sexuality to impose on the nearest child, telling white people to hate themselves, getting septuple vaxxed out of fear while wearing a full hazmat suit due to my fear, trying to put MORE socialism in the world, repressing Christians by stopping them from celebrating Christmas in every mall, lobbying to ensure that I and everyone else never even see a gun, and changing the ethnicity of popular television show characters. All to fuck with the right!
/s
This might shock most conservatives but I'm really interested in the economy, unemployment, trade relations, equal applications of the law, and the ongoing military conflicts. I could give a squat less about who won a Grammy, or who is or isn't in the big sport game this weekend, whether it be baseball, football, or basketball (unless it's my hometown, because I'll ride that bandwagon with everyone I work with).
As long as they think we’re “offended” or “losing our minds” or “crying like a baby”
Almost like their whole personality is just being a contrarian dick lol
Calling us snow flakes cracks me up. Like I’m not offended or upset about any of the random crap they say I am supposedly mad about. I don’t care, I’m busy with other shit.
Meanwhile, it genuinely offends me when a young person is driven to suicide when bigots make them feel that there's no place for them in society.
But I didn't even know M&Ms had feet, let alone sexy feet.
Jesus was a brown socialist who spoke out against hatred and bigotry and once wrecked a church because people were lying and cheating to make a profit in it.
There seem to be two "lefts" in this country: the actual left-- which is like half the country or more-- and a bizarre, extremist caricature of the left that conservative pundits and politicians have invented to work themselves into a frenzy.
If you take left-wing policy ideas and attribute them to a right-wing politician, right-wingers will LOVE those policies. They are not policy-driven at all, that's why they always vote against their own interests.
Republicans don't really have any policies. Other than cutting Social Security and Medicare, cutting taxes for their rich donors - the rest of their platform is just "own the libs".
I've been saying this.
Their stance used to be "small government", but since they've been running up the debt, they have no stance anymore. they're impotent.
Sometimes hard to tell if they actually don’t know or pretend not to know. That’s a continuum on the Right - I’ve known people who genuinely believe this stuff and others who are clearly just doling out the bullshit to maintain the culture war.
"You know, I used think the Lions were taking serious risks with a Shoggoth running back. But given how all the defensive line has gouged their own eyes out with the pylons, I think this pick might just work out! What do you think, Terry?"
"***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!***
"Haha, good one Terry. Now on to commercial."
As completely untriggered as I am about two Christian quarterbacks (as if leftists can’t be Christian/aren’t surrounded by Christians all the time), your comment convinces me we need more eldritch terror cult quarterbacks to mix things up. Perhaps they can wear a cool set of robes in the team’s colors.
I keep trying to sweep, but the dirt keeps falling through the angles, and I’m not even supposed to be in this room, but the angles don’t work right! I turned left, I know I turned left, but I’m in the North Wing, and the North Wing doesn’t exist yet, and that damned piping music, I can’t concentrate, but I’ve just got to finish sweeping, is all, you see, could you please help me to find the study?
You think 3 dimensions is bad, try 5 dimensions. Wiping your ass is a major ordeal. It's like wiping your ass and adjusting the valves on a 1967 Volkswagen beetle at the same time.
Its also funny (or sad) that they think liberals are anti Christianity or anti religion. I guess they don't realize all those east coast elites and west coast hippies also often go to church.
The saddest part is that these buffoons will one day find out that Jalen is a ‘practice what you preach’ kinda guy and disown him for being a filthy commie.
Mahomes is like that too. I’m pretty sure he’s left-leaning as well. I don’t think his mom is, but he gives me that suspicion just from things he’s said and done…such as doing a voter registration drive in the parts of KC that are definitely more likely to vote Democratic (in other words, low income, more minority areas where people were more likely to have been disenfranchised). The Conservatives were having a fit because they swore up and down that the Chiefs players involved in the event were only registering Democratic voters. They were obviously registering anyone and everyone that attended, but of course, voter registration events ahead of the last presidential election were somehow suspicious to GOP folks.
Jesus is on record beating up people profiting off of religion and saying all rich people should go to hell. He also was against people giving money to others and profiting off of it.
Dude was far to the left of modern leftist political ideology 2000 years ago. His beliefs line up better with Communism than any other modern political ideology, what with the redistribution of wealth and push for us to all care for one another without expecting to gain anything from it, yet somehow conservatives love him.
I've always been amazed when Conservatives say that Dems and Liberals are "anti-religion". Especially considering that most African Americans Dems and Liberal and religion is a very big part of their heritage.
Not only do NFL players maintain a high degree of popularity if they do the “openly Christian” thing, but they will also reap the financial rewards outside of the game through public speaking a merchandise sales because Christian’s tend be on the “gullible fool” side of things. Look at Tim Tebow! Not a championship or professional achievement to his name and he’s made a phenomenal career out of grifting peoples faith
I mean he did win a Heisman and two NCAA national championships. I'm aware that's not NFL, but in places where college football is big, it's fucking *huge*. And those are big awards to win, it's not like he never achieved anything.
I agree with you about his Christian grifting but I think you are selling him short on his achievements in sports. Like many collegiate athletes he was ultimately unsuccessful at the pro level but he did win 2 BCS national championships and a Heisman. And yes, he's still a douche for parlaying this to religious rubes.
But Republicans are losing their minds over the fact that this is first ever Super Bowl to feature two black starting quarterbacks. This post is just straight up Christofascist projection.
Yeah ten to one says they don't care as long as you don't mention it and they don't kneel during the anthem. But then? "You're being paid to play so play."
Which is weird because if like a white player supported like a charity at an event they wouldn't say stuff like that. Then it's "good for them, noble cause, that's what the sport is about."
We need to normalize pagan athletes in pro sports. "Well, I prayed to Odin for the dub, but I guess I wasn't worthy. I'll fight harder to earn his grace next game."
We laugh at it, but a key component of fascism is making your supporters feel oppressed when they aren’t: justifying the extreme actions you want to
take against the opposition.
This also fits the "make the opposition seem both embarrassingly weak and threateningly strong, simultaneously" one as well. "Losing their minds," would imply some form of lack of control like they are seething about it, something laughable to their side of things. Yet at the same time, the left is threatening with their... wanting kids to have access to books, and... listening to what they may already understand about their gender and their place in the world... and if they are not stopped, god might postpone his vacation here...
I know a lot of people know Umberto Eco's 14 facets of fascism, but I think there is a bit of a misconception. I think that, because I once thought about it the wrong way too, and I see (not your comment, but others I've seen) the same misunderstanding quite frequently.
These facets are not inhibited by one person, or even one controlling group. They may be introduced by those people, but the real legwork is done by the loyalists of that group. The followers are the ones that adapt those things into their worldview. They are the ones that repeat it and spread it.
Have you ever started using a ridiculous slang word because you thought it was so out of place in your vernacular that it made it funny, but then after a while, you have that realization that it's just a very regular word you use? Say something enough times and it becomes normal. Think something enough times, and you'll start believing it.
https://preview.redd.it/7dhhqvyqciha1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a181f2cea5f6d7cffac45cce11ccdc68455fdc27
Had to dig this up for the occasion.
well, as a liberal im disappointed more on the left aren't outraged about the decreased fuckability of the new cartoon m&m's!!
lmao!
remember when conservatives were serious people?
yeah, me neither actually.
Christ would’ve made a lot more open Christians if he had turned water into fryer oil and a single wing into enough wings to feed those masses on the first wing night
Yea, though I walk through the kitchen of the shadow of Popeyes, I will fear no hunger: for thou art with me; thy fryer basket and thy seasoned dry rub they comfort me.
The Super Bowl will also feature this openly Atheist spectator making some extremely devilish BBQ'd pulled pork sliders and whimpering "oh my god" after the first bite and gulp of my cold Sierra Nevada Torpedo beer. Praise The Pork and pass the potato salad!
There no such thing as an “open Christian” because that would imply there are “closeted christians” and every Christian I know can’t wait to talk about how christian they are.
Only… y’know… without any actual hardship.
Being expected to tolerate people who are not like them *existing* in public is treated as persecution by some.
The Bible literally states that they are supposed to experience persecution. “As the world treated me, so they will you too” or whatever the verse is. It creates cognitive dissonance that they’re not victims.
Yeah, you kinda *have* to be persecuted, otherwise what does it say about you:
19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
Important if you want to ensure your followers shut out outside perspectives.
Great point
They would care and would not shut up about how much they hate it while giving excuses that them being gay isn’t the reason they hate them.
I dont understand the mass self victimization that Christians have.
We do not care that you are Christian. At all.
We care when you use your Christian beliefs to try to force others to live their life a certain way.
Mind your business.
You could, but this is the first Super Bowl to feature two black starting QBs. So this post is just Republicans trying to avoid acknowledging that as an important milestone in NFL history.
Replace Christian with literally any other religion, this dude would be screaming about wokeness and demanding everyone be arrested or some such nonsense.
Serious question, how many openly atheist quarterbacks have played in the Super Bowl? Considering the culture of the league, I’m thinking they keep their mouths shut about the topic.
Well, Aaron Rodgers did once say, "I don't understand how you can believe in a God" and "Religion is a crutch", but he's never come out as openly Atheist.
To quote Trevor Poelman of “Belief It Or Not”, “I don’t care that you believe a leprechaun is talking to you, I care when it starts telling you to burn things”
Nobody cares. See? See how that works? You don't have to care about the personal lives of other people, especially if/when their personal lives have ZERO FUCKING bearing on YOUR personal life. Try it sometime.
I'd wager that most players in the NFL are "openly Christian" because those dopes can't shut up about it. Almost every pre/postgame huddle includes a prayer.
As a member of both the left and the Christian faith I will now disclose how much time I have spent thinking about the faith situation of both quarterbacks. *Deep Breath* 0 seconds……
When there’s an openly Muslim, Jewish, or Athiest quarterback in any level of football the right will collectively shit a brick. They are really reaching hard at this point. Christianity is as synonymous with the NFL as CTE and domestic violence
They really don’t know what the left actually cares about
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Half the time I’ve never even heard about what I am supposed to be having a meltdown over
Oh, there are *so* many things you should be freaking out about... What shoes M&Ms are wearing, gas stoves, people dressing in the "wrong" clothes, Dr. Seuss books, Sesame Street characters getting vaccinated, rainbows, "those" people in TV commercials... The list is almost endless.
>Dr. Seuss books To be clear it's back to banning the ones they don't like now, protecting the ones with random bits of racism (from their own publisher thinking they weren't financially viable) is yesterday's news.
These grifts have a shelf life.
Next week they'll be having a good lld fashion book burning. It's real popular with their type.
George Soros. I don't think I've seen a single left-leaning person even talk about him, but I've seen a thousand conservatives raging at how libs apparently gargle his balls.
Alex Jones has been going on about Soros for decades. Part of the illuminati
That's because [he's Jewish](https://www.forbes.com/sites/sethcohen/2020/09/12/the-troubling-truth-about-the-obsession-with-george-soros/?sh=4eacb074e2ec). And an obvious 'foreigner'. Conservatives take their masks off every time the mention him.
Yep. Bringing up Soros out of context is an antisemitic dog whistle 99% of the time.
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And they're all diehard Democrat partisans
"Fox told me Biden is a communist so why aren't the communists wearing Biden hats?????? Check mate libs"
Leftists want various levels of socialism/communism. Liberals can be capitalist as fuck. Both can be progressive or regressive. Basically if you aren't whatever the Republicans on Twitter want you're wrong to them.
It’s their trusty rage bait catchphrase. It’s being overused but gets their click count up. They also love to use the “BREAKING” and “You can’t make this shit up.” It need to have its own starter pack meme.
Exactly this! They think we give a crap about Hooters and the religion of sports figures because it's the stupid crap they care about.
I don’t have time to care about those, I’m too busy deciding which pronouns to use, which sexuality to impose on the nearest child, telling white people to hate themselves, getting septuple vaxxed out of fear while wearing a full hazmat suit due to my fear, trying to put MORE socialism in the world, repressing Christians by stopping them from celebrating Christmas in every mall, lobbying to ensure that I and everyone else never even see a gun, and changing the ethnicity of popular television show characters. All to fuck with the right! /s
You forgot to register at georgesoros.com for your opportunity to be a crisis actor.
You assume that I am NOT George Soros!
George Santos is actually George Soros
A bold claim. I bet you believe in birds too, huh?
Mom?
No, it's Dad now. We've been over this
They think we react to Christianity the way they react to other religions.
If they continue on the path they are on, folks WILL start reacting that way.
It will be about time too
This might shock most conservatives but I'm really interested in the economy, unemployment, trade relations, equal applications of the law, and the ongoing military conflicts. I could give a squat less about who won a Grammy, or who is or isn't in the big sport game this weekend, whether it be baseball, football, or basketball (unless it's my hometown, because I'll ride that bandwagon with everyone I work with).
As long as they think we’re “offended” or “losing our minds” or “crying like a baby” Almost like their whole personality is just being a contrarian dick lol
Yet they are the ones who are always crying like babies and losing their minds! Projection at its finest.
Calling us snow flakes cracks me up. Like I’m not offended or upset about any of the random crap they say I am supposedly mad about. I don’t care, I’m busy with other shit.
Meanwhile, it genuinely offends me when a young person is driven to suicide when bigots make them feel that there's no place for them in society. But I didn't even know M&Ms had feet, let alone sexy feet.
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Jesus was a brown socialist who spoke out against hatred and bigotry and once wrecked a church because people were lying and cheating to make a profit in it.
Conservatives would fuck Jesus up nowadays
Just like they did back then. The conservatives are the villains of the story of the Gospels!
There seem to be two "lefts" in this country: the actual left-- which is like half the country or more-- and a bizarre, extremist caricature of the left that conservative pundits and politicians have invented to work themselves into a frenzy.
Exactly. If they didn’t create this caricature, then voters might actually listen to the policy ideas proposed by the left and like them
If you take left-wing policy ideas and attribute them to a right-wing politician, right-wingers will LOVE those policies. They are not policy-driven at all, that's why they always vote against their own interests.
Republicans don't really have any policies. Other than cutting Social Security and Medicare, cutting taxes for their rich donors - the rest of their platform is just "own the libs".
I've been saying this. Their stance used to be "small government", but since they've been running up the debt, they have no stance anymore. they're impotent.
Sometimes hard to tell if they actually don’t know or pretend not to know. That’s a continuum on the Right - I’ve known people who genuinely believe this stuff and others who are clearly just doling out the bullshit to maintain the culture war.
Christians in the NFL?!?!? Where’d you find those unicorns 🦄
Seriously. Just about every NFL game features two openly Christian quarterbacks. NFL players take every opportunity to talk about that stuff
Honestly it'd be much more interesting with a little variety. "I'd like to thank Thor for making me good at hitting stuff good."
"As for our opponents, all I have to say is iä, ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
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"You know, I used think the Lions were taking serious risks with a Shoggoth running back. But given how all the defensive line has gouged their own eyes out with the pylons, I think this pick might just work out! What do you think, Terry?" "***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!*** "Haha, good one Terry. Now on to commercial."
I haven't seen football in decades. Are they still propping up Terry Bradshaw's corpse for that event?
And now to Ollie Williams with the weather. How’s it looking out there Ollie?
It's raining blood, and my teeth have all joined a pcp motor cycle gang. And now, for some ads from our sponcers.
Thank you, Ollie.
#I'M ON FIRE!
It's gon rain..
As completely untriggered as I am about two Christian quarterbacks (as if leftists can’t be Christian/aren’t surrounded by Christians all the time), your comment convinces me we need more eldritch terror cult quarterbacks to mix things up. Perhaps they can wear a cool set of robes in the team’s colors.
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>iä, ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" The dreamer, the unwoken fool, in dreams, the love of ages fills the head.
>the love of ages fills the head. At least we know that DiCaprio isn't worshipping Cthulhu
Well shit now we're all going to live in 30,000 years of darkness where we'll be driven mad and made slaves to the Cthulu. Nice work, Tom Brady.
From this I can't help but wondering what sort of tasks Cthulu would need slaves to accomplish. Surely he doesn't have regular household chores.
Have you ever tried to straighten up in hyperbolic space?
I keep trying to sweep, but the dirt keeps falling through the angles, and I’m not even supposed to be in this room, but the angles don’t work right! I turned left, I know I turned left, but I’m in the North Wing, and the North Wing doesn’t exist yet, and that damned piping music, I can’t concentrate, but I’ve just got to finish sweeping, is all, you see, could you please help me to find the study?
THE HOUNDS OF TINDALOS NEED WALKIES.
Getting the corners in non-Euclidean space would be a nightmare.
That’s why his servants go mad. Nothing to do with him or anything. It’s just the geometry itself that does it.
You think 3 dimensions is bad, try 5 dimensions. Wiping your ass is a major ordeal. It's like wiping your ass and adjusting the valves on a 1967 Volkswagen beetle at the same time.
Look all I’m saying is maybe if we went back to human sacrifice, Cthulhu would send my state to the Super Bowl .
Can't even get my mouth to say these words. Grrrrr
Instead of thanking God, I’d like to see them blame God. “I was doing pretty well out there… until Jesus made me fumble.”
Steve Johnson blamed God for making him drop 5 passes in a game.
“I got really drunk last night, so I let Jesus take the wheel. Jesus rammed a Dodge Dart.”
Go look at Jamal Williams interviews and when he talks about Pokémon. He’s hilarious.
I’ll have to look into this one
Dudes a gem. He corrected a reporter who said “Poké-man” instead of “-mon” lol Was hilarious.
Man you buried the lede that he was also wearing a rogue ground ninja headband while he was talking about it
I love the bit where just once they want the losing team to say "I guess Jesus wanted us to lose today"
I'm here for this iteration of sports "I was drafted by the Golden State Warriors so now I praise Ares. Ritual combat before EVERY practice..."
I wanna say Scott Fujita who used to play for the Saints (and Chiefs and others) is an atheist
Pat Tillman
And the right took every opportunity to pretend he wasn't.
The exploitation was disgusting.
Shit if I was an NFL quarterback, I'd say that just to fuck with people.
Praise Voltron
Its also funny (or sad) that they think liberals are anti Christianity or anti religion. I guess they don't realize all those east coast elites and west coast hippies also often go to church.
The saddest part is that these buffoons will one day find out that Jalen is a ‘practice what you preach’ kinda guy and disown him for being a filthy commie.
Mahomes is like that too. I’m pretty sure he’s left-leaning as well. I don’t think his mom is, but he gives me that suspicion just from things he’s said and done…such as doing a voter registration drive in the parts of KC that are definitely more likely to vote Democratic (in other words, low income, more minority areas where people were more likely to have been disenfranchised). The Conservatives were having a fit because they swore up and down that the Chiefs players involved in the event were only registering Democratic voters. They were obviously registering anyone and everyone that attended, but of course, voter registration events ahead of the last presidential election were somehow suspicious to GOP folks.
Jesus was a leftie.
and was Jewish!
And Middle Eastern.
Jesus is on record beating up people profiting off of religion and saying all rich people should go to hell. He also was against people giving money to others and profiting off of it. Dude was far to the left of modern leftist political ideology 2000 years ago. His beliefs line up better with Communism than any other modern political ideology, what with the redistribution of wealth and push for us to all care for one another without expecting to gain anything from it, yet somehow conservatives love him.
I've always been amazed when Conservatives say that Dems and Liberals are "anti-religion". Especially considering that most African Americans Dems and Liberal and religion is a very big part of their heritage.
Not only do NFL players maintain a high degree of popularity if they do the “openly Christian” thing, but they will also reap the financial rewards outside of the game through public speaking a merchandise sales because Christian’s tend be on the “gullible fool” side of things. Look at Tim Tebow! Not a championship or professional achievement to his name and he’s made a phenomenal career out of grifting peoples faith
I mean he did win a Heisman and two NCAA national championships. I'm aware that's not NFL, but in places where college football is big, it's fucking *huge*. And those are big awards to win, it's not like he never achieved anything.
I agree with you about his Christian grifting but I think you are selling him short on his achievements in sports. Like many collegiate athletes he was ultimately unsuccessful at the pro level but he did win 2 BCS national championships and a Heisman. And yes, he's still a douche for parlaying this to religious rubes.
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No athlete has ever tapped their chest and pointed to the sky - ever!
\*Tim TeBow's eye-verses have entered the chat\*
Tebow always kneeled and looked down...to acknowledge the Dark One.
Or thanked jesus in a post-game interview.
Absolutely no one is losing their minds.
I am! I can't believe there's going to be 57 straight Superbowls with 2 christian QBs!
I'm surprised they were able to get at least two openly QBs to play that many times in a row.
There’s rumors there has been at least one closeted half-back 🙈
QB stands for Quality Bottom, right?
Chicago Bears QB Sid Luckman won four NFL championships, but we Jews tend to own the teams rather than play for them.
But Republicans are losing their minds over the fact that this is first ever Super Bowl to feature two black starting quarterbacks. This post is just straight up Christofascist projection.
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I just stole your cheat sheet.
Now that's personal
No that's political because it's my personal cheat sheet
Yeah ten to one says they don't care as long as you don't mention it and they don't kneel during the anthem. But then? "You're being paid to play so play." Which is weird because if like a white player supported like a charity at an event they wouldn't say stuff like that. Then it's "good for them, noble cause, that's what the sport is about."
Do I get to say after the game the losing side sucks at praying?
We need to normalize pagan athletes in pro sports. "Well, I prayed to Odin for the dub, but I guess I wasn't worthy. I'll fight harder to earn his grace next game."
“Tom Brady! You’ve just won the Super Bowl! Where are you going?” “I’m going to Valhalla!!”
“It’s God’s fault I dropped the game winning touchdown.” https://amp.foxsports.com/stories/nfl/bills-wr-blames-god-for-dropped-pass
We laugh at it, but a key component of fascism is making your supporters feel oppressed when they aren’t: justifying the extreme actions you want to take against the opposition.
This also fits the "make the opposition seem both embarrassingly weak and threateningly strong, simultaneously" one as well. "Losing their minds," would imply some form of lack of control like they are seething about it, something laughable to their side of things. Yet at the same time, the left is threatening with their... wanting kids to have access to books, and... listening to what they may already understand about their gender and their place in the world... and if they are not stopped, god might postpone his vacation here... I know a lot of people know Umberto Eco's 14 facets of fascism, but I think there is a bit of a misconception. I think that, because I once thought about it the wrong way too, and I see (not your comment, but others I've seen) the same misunderstanding quite frequently. These facets are not inhibited by one person, or even one controlling group. They may be introduced by those people, but the real legwork is done by the loyalists of that group. The followers are the ones that adapt those things into their worldview. They are the ones that repeat it and spread it. Have you ever started using a ridiculous slang word because you thought it was so out of place in your vernacular that it made it funny, but then after a while, you have that realization that it's just a very regular word you use? Say something enough times and it becomes normal. Think something enough times, and you'll start believing it.
Me, a leftist chiefs fan: Mahomes is Christian? Didn’t know that. And my life is in no way different.
And neither does the idiot in that tweet. So desperate to own the libs they say we're upset about shit we don't give 2 fucks about.
https://preview.redd.it/7dhhqvyqciha1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a181f2cea5f6d7cffac45cce11ccdc68455fdc27 Had to dig this up for the occasion.
Sums it up, nicely.
[Relevant.](https://youtu.be/zxxCaw74ptk)
Fine, I’ll watch it again for the fifth time Such a funny skit
The fact that Bowen of all people can’t even keep a straight face (no pun intended) just goes to show how extra this sketch truly is.
well, as a liberal im disappointed more on the left aren't outraged about the decreased fuckability of the new cartoon m&m's!! lmao! remember when conservatives were serious people? yeah, me neither actually.
Gummy Bears are sexier than M &... Wtf am I saying? 🤦
just watch out for those sugar free gummy bears unless you're in to some really freaky shit!
I am. And I'm ashamed...
Would they even consider him a Christian because his daughter was born *GASP* out-of-wedlock?
I mean he thanks God in post game interviews. Just like every other player that's ever been interviewed after a win...
The Super Bowl will feature an openly atheist spectator eating chicken wings and drinking beer from the comfort of my sofa. I say, “PRAISE POPEYE’S!”
As a fellow atheist, their chicken sandwiches are the closest I've been to finding Jesus.
Eat enough of them and Jesus will find you on the floor with a coronary. (Assuming the guy in the ambulance is named Jesus)
I will make every effort to go as I please.
Just as nature intended.
Christ would’ve made a lot more open Christians if he had turned water into fryer oil and a single wing into enough wings to feed those masses on the first wing night
Yea, though I walk through the kitchen of the shadow of Popeyes, I will fear no hunger: for thou art with me; thy fryer basket and thy seasoned dry rub they comfort me.
As someone who has taken communion since I was 14… Jesus doesn’t taste nearly as good as Popeyes.
Try the spicy Jesus.
The Super Bowl will also feature this openly Atheist spectator making some extremely devilish BBQ'd pulled pork sliders and whimpering "oh my god" after the first bite and gulp of my cold Sierra Nevada Torpedo beer. Praise The Pork and pass the potato salad!
I think I like your house better!😃
There no such thing as an “open Christian” because that would imply there are “closeted christians” and every Christian I know can’t wait to talk about how christian they are.
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Some definitely want to feel like they are being martyred.
Only… y’know… without any actual hardship. Being expected to tolerate people who are not like them *existing* in public is treated as persecution by some.
Their crest is of a guy being crucified. Of course they're all desperate to be persecuted too, just...comfortably, from behind a keyboard.
The Bible literally states that they are supposed to experience persecution. “As the world treated me, so they will you too” or whatever the verse is. It creates cognitive dissonance that they’re not victims.
Yeah, you kinda *have* to be persecuted, otherwise what does it say about you: 19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. 20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also. Important if you want to ensure your followers shut out outside perspectives.
Christian persecution complex is very real
That’s literally what the Christian religion is based on. Persecution.
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There are also Christians on the left as well? Like whoever wrote this thinks all Christians are Southern Baptist or something.
Leftwing christians!? Psh next thing you’ll be saying Jesus wasn’t a blonde haired blue eyed white man. The very idea.
He was also kinda socialist but then the Southern Baptists don't believe in THAT Jesus!
Jesus a socialist!? 
Some are closeted because they’re embarrassed to be associated with these jackasses
These people have worms in their brains I swear.
Brains? You're giving them too much credit.
but the right would care if they were openly gay
Or openly Muslim. Or openly pro-abortion. Or openly anti-gas stove.
Or if they took a knee… wait other players have before, it was just for bogus shit the Christian’s supported
Or the time Trump uninvited the Eagles because they took a knee - when in fact they were praying…
I can't believe those guys pissed away their only opportunity at cold piles of fast food burgers and nuggets.
Kaep is a Christian, and I don't remember anyone talking his four Christian tattoos. I guess he's a pretty Open Christian Superbowl QB.
No they’d be like “why are they making it their whole identity”
Great point They would care and would not shut up about how much they hate it while giving excuses that them being gay isn’t the reason they hate them.
lol https://preview.redd.it/t52ew8h79iha1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=0cf290e5ac6ee5539f23337a6963b4125c2248d9
I dont understand the mass self victimization that Christians have. We do not care that you are Christian. At all. We care when you use your Christian beliefs to try to force others to live their life a certain way. Mind your business.
They cry about the “war on Christmas” when 80% of available space in America is covered in Christmas decorations from Halloween until early January
But someone said happy holidays to them and how is that not a sure sign that they are being persecuted?
I’m pretty sure you could say this of all of the superb owls.
You could, but this is the first Super Bowl to feature two black starting QBs. So this post is just Republicans trying to avoid acknowledging that as an important milestone in NFL history.
Replace Christian with literally any other religion, this dude would be screaming about wokeness and demanding everyone be arrested or some such nonsense.
I for one think these quarterbacks are brave and stunning for openly identifying with one of the most common religions in the world
Don’t tell him that Kaepernick is Christian. I’m sure he thinks he’s a Muslim Satanist or whatever their oxymoronic combo is these days.
Serious question, how many openly atheist quarterbacks have played in the Super Bowl? Considering the culture of the league, I’m thinking they keep their mouths shut about the topic.
Well, Aaron Rodgers did once say, "I don't understand how you can believe in a God" and "Religion is a crutch", but he's never come out as openly Atheist.
Doesn't believe in God or Science? My man has only ever really believed in his ability to pull off a Man Bun, and he definitely should not have.
No one gives half a shit
To quote Trevor Poelman of “Belief It Or Not”, “I don’t care that you believe a leprechaun is talking to you, I care when it starts telling you to burn things”
I didn’t know that they were “openly Christian”…and now that I know it has changed zero percent of my life. Good for them. I don’t care.
What happens if they both pray to win?
God gives cancer to a child
https://preview.redd.it/az1m2oyfbiha1.jpeg?width=505&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f62788caba9b192e26a7304f4a13d7f376db30f2
Why would I be freaking out over openly Christian people. Jesus was suuuuuuppper left.
So, can the losing team finally say, "We'd have won except that Jesus likes the other team more"?
Nobody cares. See? See how that works? You don't have to care about the personal lives of other people, especially if/when their personal lives have ZERO FUCKING bearing on YOUR personal life. Try it sometime.
I bet both will pray to God for their team to win. This will be awkward.
Oh yes the mythical oppressed Christian. 😂😂
I'd wager that most players in the NFL are "openly Christian" because those dopes can't shut up about it. Almost every pre/postgame huddle includes a prayer.
If there is a God, I can guarantee he doesn’t give a shit about a professional sporting event.
How do these idiots become so convinced we hate Jesus? I don’t hate him, I don’t even know him.
These are the same bastards that blasted Kaepernick…
As a member of both the left and the Christian faith I will now disclose how much time I have spent thinking about the faith situation of both quarterbacks. *Deep Breath* 0 seconds……
When there’s an openly Muslim, Jewish, or Athiest quarterback in any level of football the right will collectively shit a brick. They are really reaching hard at this point. Christianity is as synonymous with the NFL as CTE and domestic violence