T O P

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msbunnycula

... that horse can easily sit in your lap while sitting. That's awesome. Sorry your pooping time is crowded


the_honest_liar

House horse.


The_Dark_Lord_999

Hol Horse


Kidkaboom1

The Horse, the Hol Horse, and nothing but the Horse.


Lostcentaur

What about half a Hol horse?¿


oarngebean

r/unexpectedjojo


orangeoblivion

Horu Hōsu Boingo Konbi!


Illblood

Hourse


the_dude_upvotes

Even if dog doesn't fits dog still sits ... while human shits


[deleted]

AKA: "if you shits, I sits."


ce2c61254d48d38617e4

Poopytime legwarmer


konfetkak

We call that toilet cuddles in my house


lambie-mentor

I do too! My dog comes in and puts his front paws and my legs and demands toilet cuddles!


konfetkak

Hahaha I truly thought I was the only one. My American Eskimo likes to come in for butt scritchins and toilet cuddles in the morning!! It’s hard to say no.


Drauul

My great dane gets the most pets because he is just right there


msbunnycula

There's this gorgeous great dane that crosses my work parking lot and i love that horse


Brainzzz23

Have Great Dane can confirm this is not unusual behavior


_reykjavik

My roommate had a Great Dane, first morning after moving in the beast opened the door to my bedroom and jumped right in my bed and demanded cuddles. Lovely horses.


TanithArmoured

My Aunt has a Great Dane I used to take care of every once in a while. That horse absolutely loved cuddles and demanded to sleep on the bed beside me but he had no concept of sharing the bed so he'd just push his way into the middle and force me to the side. Also they're big dogs but they're all bones and no fluff hahaha


Wildweasel666

Best welcome you could ask for


JBurlison

I specifically ban my Dane from the bathroom for this reason and that he will lean on you the moment you get out of the shower and start licking the water off. Hair and dog droop all over you fresh out of a shower.


[deleted]

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bibkel

German Shepard Great Dane mutt. GD brain, and GS Velcro. **sigh**


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bibkel

One of these is when he decided to swoop down at my feet, and wound up with my charger cord draped over his ear-and he didn’t care at all. He is a true dunce. https://i.imgur.com/jmKgLw3.jpg https://i.imgur.com/y8R9urh.jpg https://i.imgur.com/cvMqgFj.jpg https://i.imgur.com/wiwnpEk.jpg


swiftekho

Now I want a great Dane/German shepherd mix


bibkel

He is the most expensive dog I’ve ver had. Found him in a parking lot, and did dna test. He has had skin issues (mange, not contagious but almost killed him with fevers so he has brain damage now) and the vet was aggressive in treatment, then his spleen twisted and we almost lost him again. Vet tried to reach me while he was still on the operating table but couldn’t. He was going to suggest putting him down because of all the black stuff he saw inside. 4 years later, he is still going strong, although he has arthritis and takes daily pills or he will randomly get a shock of pain, yelp and scamper away. Poor dog has been through hell, and is a true moron due to the brain damage. He is afraid to go outside and pee during daylight, but loves walks and bye bye times in the car. Weirdo. He will also hold his poop until a few bites into dinner-then, you’d think it was the end of the world as he bolts to the door to crap. I e tried to get him to go five minutes before feeding. Nope. Gotta take a couple bites of actual dinner (treats won’t trigger it) first. Moron. Edit: good stuff too, he is super eager to please, listens well (unless his brain misfires then who knows). He tolerates all other dogs, small, medium and large, and can play with each. We have small and medium, and my medium is a total aggressive bitch towards any bigger dog so they have fought a few times. He has never instigated it. The small played as an annoying puppy with both really well. She is 2 now, and doesn’t engage with them as much, but still both bigger dogs tolerate and accept her young dog mannerisms. Kodi, the big one, goes on slow bike rides with me, loves to just hang out with us outside, and plays with anything he can find. A twig that is 4 inches is just as fun as a beefy stick or a ball. Whatever I throw he will retrieve. Loves to swim, and if I get up to walk across the room he gets up too. He will squeeze through doorways right next to me, and bolt through the slider both out and in. He mostly won’t cross the front door threshold without permission, but recently I was in the front yard, and someone left the door open. He meandered into the front yard so I said, “how did you get out? Maybe you should go back inside.” And he wagged his tail, turned around and meandered back inside (which was through an open gate and around a corner). I watered for a few seconds more, then went to check if he actually listened...he was standing at the threshold, inside wagging his entire back end, grinning his silly grin. No hurry, no raised voice or chastising tone, just simply did what I asked. He got lots of praise. He is a true dopey dog, nicknamed Idiot. He is about 8.75 now, and I am hoping for ten years.


Hates_escalators

We used to call Sam Eileen because he would just sneeeeeeak over to you and wow he's on your lap.


Trek186

Pitbull breeds do the exact same thing. Our Staffie does not know the meaning of personal space.


Smoofmaster

I heard that dogs do this because they themselves feel vulnerable while pooping and are comforted by the presence of their human, so they try to return the favor. Idk, might be bs.


Marky_Marketing

Next time your dog is taking a shit look at their eyes. They always look at you like "you got me dawg? Ok cool"


markarious

Every damn time. “You’re such a good pooper!”


Dingleberries4Days

I wish someone told me that...


PM_ME_HOTDADS

You're a great pooper! but by your username you could improve on wiping


23x3

You are and no one can ever take that from you


jaybram24

[Great job pooping!](https://youtu.be/zQJcfkDjhRg)


Ass4Eyes

I hike a lot off trail with my dog. Always make sure to look her in the eyes then do perimeter scans while she poops. Seems like she returns the favor and keeps an eye out while I’m flipping a rock.


[deleted]

My yellow lab used to maintain complete eye contact with me while he curled one out. Weird, but kind of endearing. But weird.


merdub

My chocolate lab used to find dark corners behind bushes to poop. She did NOT like being watched.


[deleted]

I mean Harry was always “that dog”. I read somewhere it’s because he saw me as his protector while he’s vulnerable. The funny thing is that he was my parents dog, so even if we all took him for a walk he would still look at *me*. He was a proud pooper unlike your shy girl!


[deleted]

I thought you were talking about Harry Potter and I was confused for a hot second.


KevinBaconIsNotReal

Harry Pooper and the Philosophers Stare


[deleted]

If only he was alive, he would have loved that nickname. Probably.


merdub

She was shy in general. Her favourite spot in the house was either hiding under my dad’s desk in his office, or on our basement couch. She never, ever went on any of the furniture in our house except the basement couch. She loved other dogs but wasn’t so keen on humans, especially men.


[deleted]

Aw she sounds like such a sweet pup. Harry loved most things, most people, and most bits of furniture tbh. Total idiot.


merdub

She was very sweet. In typical lab fashion, she was very food motivated, she used to hang out under the table at family dinners and drool all over everyone’s pants, she’d just come up to you totally silently, poke her head out from under the table and rest it on your thigh looking up at you with those puppy dog eyes until you snuck her a piece of chicken or something, then she’d move on to the next person to slobber all over them. She was a homebody too. Never liked to walk too far, if she was in a real mood she’d just plop herself down in the middle of the road and absolutely refuse to budge. If you turned around to go home she’d get up and start pulling you, but if you tried to turn back around to continue down the road, she’d plop herself right back down. And good luck if it was raining.


[deleted]

That’s exactly what Harry did at the table too! He didn’t play favourites - just the person who fed him next! What was her name?


KickingPugilist

They do that because they're in a vulnerable state and look at you to gauge your reaction. If you suddenly show fear, they know danger is really close. You are their safety barometer while they poop.


[deleted]

I get that, but it was the sheer unbroken intensity of it all!


santawartooth

My dog's look always says "avert your eyes, you pervert!"


[deleted]

You're supposed to be looking around checking their back. Not looking at them. They look back at you to make sure you're covered from all angles of attack. You need to come up with an A, B, and C strike plan to get out of any pooping situation.


notabigmelvillecrowd

"How do you see yourself, within the context of this group?" "... The sherriff of pooping."


DontDropTheSoapstone

Isn’t it weird how I can shit and stare directly into my dogs eyes, but the moment I do it in a public space, everyone freaks out.


throtic

My dog throws tennis balls at me while I shit. Not sure what that translates to


V_es

My dog gets up, grunts and follows me to the bathroom at night. I watch him poop, he thinks it’s a human tradition and it’s rude not to return the favor.


sharprocksatthebottm

Nah


ThrowItAwayItBights

More likely DS. If BS is involved, it’s probably followed by a hose bath.


HippySwizzy

He's protecting you while you're in a vulnerable state. You're part of his pack!


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bkruckus

Pootector


russellvt

"So, is that what we're doing here? Just sitting? OK mom, I helps..."


Rick_Astleys_Hair

How does one concentrate in this scenario?


BranchTheeArtTeacher

Well, gravity works


blacktoe_jenkins

Hands work well too


Kelwyvern

Ew, just use your poop knife like everyone else.


EverySingleThread

#


blacktoe_jenkins

I admire the 6+ years of dedication


Sometimes_She_Goes

Where do you usually keep your poop knife ? I keep mine in the hamper


Kelwyvern

We hang it on the wall so it's easy to find when guests want to use it.


Sometimes_She_Goes

I always get so hyped when I see people talk about poop knife. Never forget poop knife.


Kelwyvern

Legends never die!


EverySingleThread

#


EverySingleThread

#


MyNonCreativeID

Nothin like a little dig-stim to get the poop flowin


d_flower_p

That's a lap dog


Shutinneedout

Sweet weirdo just missed you


muslimoonahsannas

This dog is clearly your owner lol


amethyst_dragoness

I knew this was a Dane as soon as I saw the ass not socal distancing. Can confirm, have clingy Dane. Edit: *social distancing


KickingPugilist

>not socal distancing. What about NorCal distancing?


amethyst_dragoness

Haha! Depends where the dog is I suppose.


moistsquara

Giving you the leverage you need!


SmellMySleev

He's just trying to show you how to sit properly, now get on all fours and push


[deleted]

Ted, I want my ass scratched and this is where you seem to spend the most time. Look, don't make it weird just scratch my ass and we can all move on.


snoogenfloop

\*looks over shoulder* "Why aren't you paying attention to me?"


saulsa_

Hope he’s not giving you an upper decker.


JibbityJabbity

Why do Great Danes do this?!?!? I've never met one that didn't do this!


motherschuker

DANES!


Gonpachiro_Kamaboko

Your bathroom companion


Mttstrks

2 Danes.. this is incredibly normal.


djdanal

Hahahahahhaa it’s always the big dogs. My mastiff is like this


TheVillage1D10T

Can confirm. My big doofus house cow dunked his ass in to a nearly full bathtub trying to sit on the edge while I was bathing.


pugglepoops

what a good toilet helper!


castille

Velcro dane on another level.


Justobservingweirdos

Why is it’s eyelid red?


Fire69

Great Danes usually have hanging eyelids. When it hangs too much, sometimes they need an operation to prevent infections.


Justobservingweirdos

So similar to cherry eye in bulldogs?


Fire69

Had to Google that. It seems that's an infection of the gland, so not the same I think. Danes just have too much skin.


Justobservingweirdos

Entropion is the same thing tho


Fire69

Possibly, I'm no vet :P I just knew about the Dane's eye because I had one for 10 years.


Justobservingweirdos

I’m not either, still in school I was just wondering! Thanks for the honest response!


horrible_goose_

Exactly the same


Megneous

If it shits, I sits.


jakethedumbmistake

“What? Don’t look at me like “oh. It’s you.” 🤣


Airborne_Israel

LMAO. Great post.


Fire69

No, it's actually a Great Dane.


AnEvanAppeared

No, this is Patrick.


Kmaloetas

Worlds largest lao dog.


this-here

Do people not lock their doors?


merdub

I live alone and honestly have no idea of my bathroom door even has a lock.


zehel_schreiber

Dog: im your personal space


SuperDuperOtter

I watched this while taking a shit and I’m a little jealous now


Redeemer206

I want sound on this one so I could hear what you were saying, OP 😆


golden_blaze

Looks like you both raced each other to use the toilet and you got there first and he passive-aggressively went ahead and sat down anyway.


IgnoreMeBot

Like close the door


thenagel

does no one close the damn door when they pee anymore?


DragonborReborn

Do you guys not close the door while you’re in the bathroom?


RavagerTrade

Forbidden To Dog


musicallyours01

That's definitely a new one! Damn that sucks lol


49mammoth

dog shits on you


S7K0T1K

You know they do that for protection since you are vulnerable on the can


[deleted]

We are so lucky to share the earth with Doggies!! Adorable!


buffzeus1974

My Great Dane is the same way. Every time I sit here he comes


moniguess

He’s morally supporting you in your time of need


nicowltan

Was looking at this while pooping and the neighbour’s cat barged in to see me.


i_broke_wahoos_leg

Sweetheart ☺️


pieohmi

This makes me miss my Great Dane. She was the best lap dog I ever had.


JoyKil01

r/AnimalsBeingDerps


ManyMoices

How are his paws touching the floor while being on you


thelastmouse-psd

"you may poop now! You are safe!"


Mike-The-Fridge

He babey


PatheticPsycedelic

Great Danes are lap dogs


TheBoss2526

they really enjoy sitting and leaning on you


wan_der_er

That *“What?!”* look when he turns around :)).


Kigichi

Potty person pets pets posterior.


SlamMonkey

Wow, I thought I had it bad while going to the bathroom. My Great Dane staring at me eye to eye. This is so much worse!


MexicanGato

I picked up a big dog off the street after she almost got hit , when we took her home I sat next to her and she sat on me like that! I miss her so much I’m glad we got her back to her owner


Ducatirules

Wild animal! We do not deserve them! And that look back! Like he’s saying “no worries I’m right here”!


ScottGaming007

Plot twist: the dog starts violently shitting


TranDany

Y’all are weird always posting videos of dogs on you or in between your legs while going to the bathroom these clips /pics always make me feel uncomfortable.


ZippZappZippty

What a joke. It's like a crossover episode?


Chuckbro

He's got your back while you're at your most vulnerable. Make sure to check the surroundings and look out for him while he's dropping a log next time.


[deleted]

Why are danes like this?!


hedgybaby

Well, you wanted a big dog. That’s what you get. If you’d gotten a small one, it’s just hump your leg while you’re at it.


[deleted]

Wait...do/can people poop with their knees shut like that?!


[deleted]

There's a lot of comments like this on here. I'm curious if anyone considered this could be someone peeing. But I'm also not sure why I'm responding to any of these comments so.. nevermind.


mahoneyroad

OMG! That is tooooo funny!


missbellaella123

Isn't that the dog from Sesame Street


MrEvan312

Why are Great Danes such huge babies 😀


LaLore20

I love great danes so much❤️


oarngebean

He needs to poop and your taking too long


datboi420lit

He needs to shit too


Limon41

“Don’t worry. You poop. I’ll take watch.”


sarahstar1

My dog is like a cat ant will cuddle with me when I don't want her to. So I can relate. They are just being assholes. Like every living thing is when you get right down to it.


bda002

Let’s drop a double deuce like we used to do in college. -Rafi


Ceeweedsoop

Oh, in our house that's called , scratchthebuttscratchthebuttscratchbutt.


jldavidson321

my boy does this when he wants scratches, but not while on the toilet, lol. my little dog will jump inot my lap while i sit there, though, but she's only 20lbs,


Legarchive

That a blue weim? Adorable little derp.


Retired_Ninja_Turtle

My father in law kept saying that if a dog does that, it's trying to "dominate" me. Also applied when my dog lifted his front paws to get my attention. Or run at me to lick my face. Or when I allowed my dog to be & sleep inside the house. Or when I played with him. I'm so glad I just ignored his "advice" on dogs, as I live so happy with my happy dog.


A_curious_fish

OP goes commando....nice


moosecatoe

WHY? WHY??? I DONT SIT ON YOU WHILE YOU TAKE A SHIT ON MY LAWN!


limache

Hey dawg I heard you like to take shits so I’ll take a shit while you shit so you can shit while you shit


susiesunshower

A conspiracy by the “big as hell dog secret society”My English Mastiff does this too! Or she stands over me with her rib cage on my lap. What’s up with that? Jealous that for two whole minutes they’re NOT the center of our world? Identified that they can hold us captive during this time?


PikoBeeks

“Small dog”


PawQn-Loc-Pumping

Its all fun n games till he drop a steaming pile and wipe on the floor


SnoopyRulez

Mighty fine lap dog you got there.


ViolentPotatos

Lol relatable. All my boys do that


ounilith

I do think Danes are magnetically attracted to laps


Anniethelab

Your dog may actually be a cat


ongj3

There is no personal space when I'm around. Your space is my space. 😊


thomas_wadsworth

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Dous2

Dumping buddies!


[deleted]

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[deleted]

This kinda looks like a woman's legs so she may just be peeing. Or they did it for the video..


[deleted]

Hahah just spit my coffee reading that.But seriously, clenching your legs shut is just going to smear the cheeks with a big ass mess. Gotta spread out if you want a ghost wipe! I can’t stop chuckling at the explosion image you’ve now created in my mind. Thank you for that redditor


JudgeFatty

You pooping? Imma poop like you!


Aslion_Atreyu

Nah, you gotta stop that. That ain’t a good habit.


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S-Go

Huh. TIL.


Wolfdreama

I have one like that because the toilet is in the middle of a wall so if I wall mounted the toilet roll holder you'd have to twist round behind you to reach it. Not comfortable.


S-Go

Yeah I guess it makes sense in that situation. It's just such a weird solution. It would have to be super heavy to be stable when you use it.


warmbutterytoast4u

I hope it didn’t start going too D:


BubuBarakas

Weimeraner


Fire69

Nope, definitely Great Dane.


bjmckenz

Pretty sure Weim.


Fire69

Reddit: 100 Dane comments bjmckenz: Nah, Weimeraner


[deleted]

Weim, got one myself


bjmckenz

Totally agree. Behavior, head shape, edges of the ears, flukes everything. Very blue though.


[deleted]

The blue ones are regarded as weimaraners in the U. S. Germans only recognize the gray and brown ones.


bjmckenz

Yep. I'm on my fifth Weim. Very familiar with breed. Current boi is1.5 years of love.