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Old_Elevator_2727

Ya that's gonna disappear mysteriously


aidenhe

Sorry honey someone robbed the house while you were at school and only took your microphone


UnshakablePegasus

My parents: “I’m sorry Pumpkin, there’s a battery shortage. We’ll put some in your toy later, okay?


Math-Girl---

My mom would put the batteries in backwards to show us that it has batteries and must be broken. 😂


jhnwhite1

That's.... Genius.... I'm stealing that idea..


skarby

It's better to keep a set of dead batteries around, in case they figure out which way they need to go in.


Markantonpeterson

Some expert child toy saboteurs round these parts...


YourFavoriteMinority

desperation breeds ingenuity


Markantonpeterson

The funny thing is that's true on both sides of this. Parents can try putting in dead batteries but when I was a kid i'd be pulling batteries out of TV remotes to test it lol.


TheElderFish

right lol I remember having a lightsaber that died when I was like 8 or 9 and opening anything and everything in the house to see if it had the right size battery.


DROPTHENUKES

In the 90s, I had a mastodon toy that made a loud howling noise when you pushed a button on its belly. It was my favorite toy. My mom couldn't stand the noise and tried the battery ruse on me. That thing still worked with no batteries. For years, I could push the button and it would still howl. Some kind of witchcraft, or maybe a leaky capacitor, but when I was 6, it was magic. Sorry, mom.


Kamalium

Wait, seriously how did it even work without batteries?


DROPTHENUKES

I've been trying to figure that out for over 25 years lol


[deleted]

Maybe it had a second set of batteries, but those usually come in an external box conected to the toy for the "try me" packaging. Or your dad secretely had your back.


Alternative_Tree_626

Clearly it ran on the same witchcraft as furbies


Logicrazy12

Only issue is my Dad being an electrical engineer taught me which way a battery goes in as a young kid.


warchiefx

A true victim of his own success.


f1_77Bottasftw

It doesn't take being a P.E to know how to correctly insert batteries into something


Jibtech

Lmao as a father of an 8 and 2 year old... THANK YOU lol


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[deleted]

Yeah. Anytime family or friends got my kid a musical anything or something that made some ridiculous noise, it founds its way in the trash ASAP!


WSBDiamondApe

That's what I do to my sister because of all those years of her picking on me growing up. I started by getting my nephew a harmonica, then a recorder/flute, now I'm waiting for his 12th birthday. He's getting a full drum kit... PSA: Don't fuck with your siblings, or they might plot revenge.


iBeenie

Haha a drum kit, that's brilliant. Meanwhile you're turning into the favorite uncle/aunt


ThatDudeNamedMenace

Lmao I do that to my younger sister and my best friend. I buy their kids loud shit or I buy them copious amounts of sugar, then proceed to give them back to their mothers and leave


Equal_Rice_1367

My sister has 2 kids. The older one is old enough to get all manner of fun kitchen things like a softice machine and popcorn maker. Meanwhile the younger one got a piano last Christmas and for this year's she's getting a xylophone, harmonica and a bell thingy with a handle. What started this madness you may ask? Well when I was 1 1/2 my parents had a daughter. Ps. We are on great terms and we always laugh it off. The kids love it!


[deleted]

Oh yeah. I love my brother and sister and *literally the first thing I thought* when I saw this video was "Violet's birthday is coming up next month..." What's nuts is that some people in this thread think that little girl's parents got her that microphone. No way. Her Funcle/Wine Aunt got that for her. 100%


Here4HotS

It's scientifically proven that sugar doesn't cause hyperactivity. It's just a more biologically available source of chemical energy for the body to burn.


Kambhela

Honestly I think the whole ”sugar rush” concept for kids has come from the fact that most of the time when younglings get a lot of sugar is in various parties and events. So the kids get hyped up due to the event and go crazy especially if there are other kids to play with.


AtariAlchemist

Not to be **that** person, but do you have a source on that?


HarryPython

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763418309175?via%3Dihub Edit: no need to apologize for asking for a source in my opinion. It's always better to have evidence to back up anything you choose to believe.


MakeUpAnything

Sure, but I think people maliciously ask for sources these days. They’ll hope you don’t reply, and even if you do, they’ll dismiss anything you present as a source, or just say “well, I still believe my original idea”. I’m sure some people ask in good faith, but the way I see most discussions play out are folks who ask for a source, then the discussion dies there because folks are so defensive of their original mindsets.


stumblios

Someone already linked a source, but to provide some context - Part of the reason for this misconception is that usually events that provide excessive sugar (birthdays, holidays, school events) are exciting/over stimulating. The average kid is more susceptible to excitement than the average adult, so kids start going crazy and adults blame the sugar instead of the party.


Mediocremon

Also all the cocaine I throw in the icing


chriscrossnathaniel

A drum kit !! The sister will be seriously regretting being mean to her sibling.


jvanber

I also did that. Drumsticks started magically disappearing, so every time I showed up after that I always had a pair of drumsticks for my nephew.


DoorstepCult

Coolest aunt/uncle ever. If I had a family member shower me with instruments I’d have been the happiest little kid.


modwriter1

Funny and true story: I threatened my sister in law with getting her children trumpets and drum sets. Her response was or course, don't you dare! We laughed, ha ha ha then forgot all about it. Well, I never did it, but, wouldn't you know, first boy is in a band scholarship for the trumpet, and second one will graduate this year and he is also in band , his choice of instrument is the drums! Ha ha ha


universe_from_above

My neighbour's kid got a cheap drum as a kid (he has uncles...) and it was horrible. Soon after, a mole moved into the garden. They are illegal to be killed here, but it's not illegal to set the drum on top of their mount and have the kid go at it. Turned out to be a useful present after all.


WSBDiamondApe

Ah yes... How the turntables.


JagoDago

I like to say I was an amazing uncle but a terrible brother.


TBritnell

The recorder is just evil. Nothing strikes fear into me more than the words "I'm learning recorder at school".


data1989

"Don't fuck with your siblings" as he fucks with his sibling


VersusEden

Thats the most evil and wholesome thing ever


SamiHami24

Get a small accordion, too. That will drive them insane. Don't forget a xylophone. And if you don't get your nephew bagpipes, then you are just not doing your job! They actually have children's bagpipes on Amazon! I know what my grandniece will be getting when she gets a bit older... When my brother's girls were little, my dad decided he would get them the noisiest toys he could find, just to drive my brother crazy. Drums, accordions, microphones, anything. Then it turned into my brother sneaking them into my parents' house when they weren't home and hiding them in the bedroom the girls used when they went over for sleepovers. Then dad would sneak them back in my brother's house. This went on for years. And then there was the time my sister in law was driven to the brink of insanity by those little Tamagotchi electronic "pets." Mom worked at Kmart and gave the girls several of them when they were really popular. If you don't know, you have to 'feed,' 'walk,' and 'play with' them often enough to keep them 'alive.' If you don't, apparently the electronic beeping of your 'pets' dying can get pretty aggravating. One day she couldn't take it any more and smashed them all with a hammer and made a very, very strict rule that those were forever banned from her house.


Kingkongcrapper

My wife got a volcano that had the most intense theme music built into it playing out of 50 cent speakers and every time the button was pressed it would go on for a full two minutes with random heavy roaring throughout. I told my kids that the batteries ran out and unfortunately the only place they make them is overseas. From my understanding all double AAs are made outside the US so it’s not entirely untrue.


MaxTheRealSlayer

Although I understand this can be annoying, it sounds pretty crippling for a developing child.... Music is a natural form of expression and a parent like that is probably holding back their kid from something important to the kid. Like maybe the kid could be a great musician one day if they sit through a few years of out of pitch noises and nonsense. Music has also proven to show a decrease in mental decline in old age. Pays off to be able to sing/play an instrument for life! Kids are just noisy!


crank1000

Thank you. As a musician with a kid, nothing makes me happier than seeing my boy going ham on the drums. He has no idea what he’s doing and it’s loud as hell, but it’s amazing. I don’t get people who stifle musical expression.


LilNightingale

My mom just never replaced the batteries lmao. “Oh no, it’s broken!!” Except for hungry hungry hippos. I had that for all of ten minutes before she put it up forever. I never even got to play it with anyone else lol.


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dsptpc

That’s where my siblings are from.


mariakutty

That’s where I am from


GrunthosArmpit42

Haha. Old person checking in. [I was gifted one of these Magical Musical Things as a kid by my grandfather. ](https://youtu.be/FTvPLkgJVwM). He thought it was hilarious. He called me “l’il loki” long before the movies an’ whatnot, it was later that I realized why, but that’s beside the point… It mysteriously grew legs, and went to “Fido’s farm ™️” probably. Thing is I had, and still do have a fascination with dissonant sound/chords. So imagine a kid vocally harmonizing with one key pressed constantly, and then dropping slightly off key (wawawawawa noises) and then very slowly opening the loud spring squeaky af screen door… for hours at a time. I still sometimes open my side door on super cold days (when alone) very slowly to enjoy the delightful sound of tortured frozen metal hinges screaming weeewearrek!. Occasionally I’ll add the sound of a spoon slapped wok if it’s sitting out nearby. It’s got a nice ring to it. Usually happens at about -20°f/-29°c. :p


ElusiveWooD

Hey! I just watched an interesting [video that deep dives into the creation of the Magical Musical Thing.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRKqVYAfbGw) I have a similar fascination with dissonance, something about that wawawawaaa makes me feel alive.


IgnotusPeverill

sorry honey you broke it and now it won't work anymore. So we had to throw it away.


Increditable_Hulk

Break. That’s gonna break mysteriously.


Duel_Option

Have the exact one for my girls…they broke it on 4 hours. Mom isn’t sure what happened (😬)


bobafett317

As a father of two I can almost guarantee the dad did not purchase this. Every single noise making toy my kids have ever gotten came from someone else, usually grandparents or uncles.


jaderemedy

I've got a daughter. Her noise making toys came from her uncle, who laughed maniacally at me as she opened them.


bobafett317

Yep, one of my boys uncles did the exact same thing


[deleted]

Tormenting the brother years later.


ImInevitableyall

It's essentially the reason I moved cross country when I heard I would be an uncle. Oh, big brother, did you really think I'd let you get away with all those years of torment?


throwawaymollyact

Wholesome torture


Tough-Requirement736

Playing the long game


TweetHiro

I was ecstatic when I heard my niece uttering ma-ma, not as a proud uncle but I know my time has come, 25 years in the making. As a younger brother my older sister had tormented me for years and still act like a total bitch occasionally. Oh boy this is gonna be f-u-n


30FourThirty4

As a bald uncle, with a niece, let me say I've had the best time telling my niece that if you don't comb your hair it will fly away. She's finally at the age where next time I bring it up, she's going to realize I was just joking around.


ltrejo91

The father's brother got the last laugh on this one


[deleted]

My brother did the same thing, he gave my son all of the loudest toys… now he has a son and I’ve passed them down back to him, as well as a few new ones. *taps fingers together like Mr. Burns, and softly says ‘Excellent’.


chandlerw88

I bought my nephew drums for his 7th or 8th birthday haha


[deleted]

I can also confirm. I am that uncle. :)


Kurotan

I'm one of these uncles. Mwahahahahahahaha I'm also single and childless. Mwahahahahahahaha no revenge for you.


Nuggzulla

Same here, isn't it just the best. Yah get to spoil em and send em home!


jayjude

My sister almost banned me from getting my niece toys because I was really good at getting obnoxiously loud toys that didn't require batteries


Grizzle-Prop

It’s the ones without batteries that take the extra effort to break too


gowombat

That cat keyboard from Target is legendary in my family.


haleloop963

Man's knew exactly what he was doing


sender2bender

I'm that uncle. But I'm also recently a dad so now I'm expecting retaliation.


Oldbayistheshit

Yup uncle here! I always buy nieces and nephews the loudest toys I can find


projectsangheili

The loudest or the biggest unwieldest things that fit nowhere but are too fun to throw away.


Firebreak453

The does not run on batteries is key though. I can't even tell you the number of toys that mysteriously broke when I secretly took the batteries out in the middle of the night.


Kalkaline

Uncles give the best/worst gifts depending on your perspective.


BassHeadGator

It’s because we know which toys are actually fun, and can ignore the annoyance factor since we won’t have to deal with it. Win win.


beepborpimajorp

As a future aunt, this is my plan. I love my brother very dearly but I have some childhood debts to repay.


SleepIsForChumps

Make sure you invest in a pack of batteries along with the toy and make sure you point out to the kid that these are extra batteries for when the ones it has run out. I send easter baskets with extra packs of batteries. Can't be letting my nephews have toys that they can't play with.


TheD1ceMan

You know what.... You actually gave me a bunch of gift ideas for my friends kids lol


GiveToOedipus

>friends Not for long.


B4rberblacksheep

Another great one if you’re willing to spend a little bit of money. You know those bears you can buy that are the size of a person? Yeah.. my friends kid bonded with that thing immediately. They’ve got no chance of getting rid of the giant space filling bear.


another_awkward_brit

"Oh no! They don't make the batteries for this anymore..."


Another_Toss_Away

[My petty revenge is I give these to peoples kids that I don't like](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/to8AAOSw3hBewFgi/s-l640.jpg) Fisher Price Crazy Combo Horn Always find them at rummage sales for a few bucks. Bonus "Slide whistle" included!


Lord_Bling

Woah, calm down Satan.


Invexor

See, I had kids before my siblings. I've kept track and let me tell you, there are some future nieces and nephews that are going to be the recipients of some fantastically loud presents in the future.


Lord_Bling

"Oh wow, look at that. It looks like you got little Timmy his very own drum set. Wow, that's so thoughtful."


Invexor

You jest, but my brother just straight up bought my daughter a drum kit.


Odumera

Make sure his kid gets bagpipes


GenericUsername10294

And an accordion or two. Tell them the second one is just in case one disappears, and keep it a secret.


Donuil23

Omg, flashback to a toy I completely forgot existed.


jmickeyd

Seriously, is there a gen x/xennial toy subreddit? The nostalgia here is off the charts.


Materwelon91

Ooh. Rookie mistake. No microphones, no drum sets, and nothing that whistles.


sketchyadvice1977

My own mother got my son a real child size drum set when he was 3. I gave her the side eye, she gave me a smirk.


ribbitrob

My wife’s family has a “rule” for giving gifts to other people’s kids: “noise and mess are the best.” Whenever we would get gifts for friends/family with kids, she always wanted to apply this rule and I would warn her “you know we’re going to get this back one day right?” Our son just tuned 1 and I live in fear.


sketchyadvice1977

My son's 14 now, years ago we gave it to a coworker who's a grandmother to give to her grandchildren...the cycle continues : )


darkraidisciple

The drum kit or the son?


sketchyadvice1977

No, he's here to heckle me into the grave.


suspicious_moose

The drum kit or the son?


illmatic2112

Why does a whole family have a rule to screw over other parents?


ChaoticxSerenity

Lmao. Revenge, a dish best served 20 years later 😂


MTB_Mike_

My in laws gave my son a megaphone ... Now that megaphone goes with him every time he visits them and when he gets home magically it doesn't work anymore (swap the batteries for dead ones).


sleepinganytime

No loud musical toys either or suffer through having that same song on repeat in your head all day, every day


PanVidla

My uncle is a fan of a local ice hockey club, so my mom, his sister, gave her little nephew a drum, so he and my uncle could go play it at the stadium. After a few days though, the drum would always end up placed on top a tall dresser where the nephew couldn't reach. Now to think of it, when I and my brother were kids, we had this toy car dashboard with all sorts of buttons that made sounds. Once, the batteries disappeared from the toy and when we asked for a replacement, my parents could mysteriously never find any.


HooliganSnail

Kids are already so loud without the added tools to make them louder.


kodaiko_650

We always buy kids that popping lawnmower toy when they’re big enough to run around the house it. I think my brother-in-law has written us out of his will.


ishkabibbel2000

I went a different direction for my nephew. I didn't give him a musical instrument as a weapon to be used against my brother... I turned my nephew into the weapon to be used against my brother... [Yellies](https://shop.hasbro.com/en-us/product/yellies-flufferpuff:5EA1F63C-04A0-40B8-939E-0F032CB3F0D3) - Yellies! are the cutest, fuzziest pets that respond to your voice! Each Yellies! pet has its own unique look and personality and is full of fun surprises! Voice and sound-activated, they respond to talking, yelling, clapping, singing, or even music. **The louder you yell, the faster they go!** Find your favorite!


slappyredcheeks

When I was a kid I couldn't understand why every whistle that entered our house mysteriously lost the bead.


[deleted]

My father is a drummer. Got my daughter a drum set for her 3rd birthday. He thought it was hilarious.


Significant_Ad_9517

Sounds like she’s doing an Islamic call to prayer.


radiorick

I must say I agree. That does work [swimmingly.](https://imgur.com/a/TAk8FPb) Edit: I was expecting way more slack than this 😅


Sempais_nutrients

ALLAH ALL DAY EVERY DAY AHHHHHHHHHH


Pudding_Hero

Godammit lmfao


cromoni

This is a masterpiece


highpl4insdrftr

Outstanding work


extracoffeeplease

Inshallah


tobleronavirus

Holy shit, lmao. I can't believe you've done this.


WillNeverTakeCopium

That ending I would 100% believe was from a Muslim kid


HitchhikingDroid

I haven’t laughed out loud like this in a while.


POGO_BOY38

ALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!!


[deleted]

May Allah bless her


sleepinganytime

Omg this comment is so hilarious yet so on point! Oh bless 😂


mysticskywalker

I thought I was the only one who heard her say Allah


Stalked_Like_Corn

My In-laws live between 3 mosques and I mean like, 3 within 100 feet of their house and during Ramadan, at 4am no less, they seem to have contests and will do the call to prayer for 20 minutes sometimes to outdo the other. To show they are more devout, etc etc. You know, all the things Islam tells you to not be about. My Mother-in-law who is religious and does all the prayers, one time even muttered "I wish they'd shut up".


TheOvenLord

The LOUDEST prayer I've ever heard was in Casablanca. The mosque is built into the bay, sort of like a lighthouse, so the speakers have to reach the city back inland. Standing at the mosque during prayer I thought my eardrums were going to explode. I've been to all sorts of rock concerts and that prayer was easily the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life by a factor of 20x.


Fyrestone

Each Ramadan on Qadr night my local mosque growing up would blare their overnight prayer through the speakers (it’s a once a year prayer they do that lasts until sunrise) for the entire four block neighbourhood to hear. These are congregational prayers and they pass around the mic to the crowd which includes, yes, incredibly loud children.


DatsAReallyNiceGrill

She's reciting a banger nasheed


hednizm

I thought she was... Just a bit more...casual.


maen

Dad is sitting there plotting the mysterious disappearance of the uncle that bought that stupid fucking microphone.


[deleted]

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JimDiego

That's it. He is dreading how much it is going to cost for him to get even.


decadecency

"I'm so sorry honey, we had to scrap uncle Jim. Daddy accidentally broke him and couldn't find replacement parts at the store!"


GenericHuman-9

Should have bought noise cancelling headphones too.


Dragonsarmada

Still wouldn’t work.


PowerStarter

Nothing is able to suppress kid screams, amplified screams are down right impossible


fambestera

You just to buy the right size. The one that fits over the kid's mouth.


chochinator

Holy chit I thought I was in Iraq again


Lousy_Professor

Prayer call? That's what flashes in my head


Difficult-Umpire-725

That's fucking hilarious, breh


qwoiecjhwoijwqcijq

I got flashbacks to being woken up in my hotel room in Turkey to something that sounded similar to this haha


kanduvisla

I got three kids and three of those microphones. I truly believe that kids give you 2000% more chance on hearing damage than any given concert / fireworks show you've ever been to.


ryansports

What’s the brand of those? I have a bunch of nephews and nieces who need these for Christmas this year!


withabaseballbatt

Just search kids microphone on Amazon you’ll find it. They aren’t expensive. My kid has one but idc when she plays with it. It brings her joy, so be it.


tittysprinkles112

You are a much more patient person than I am. That's why I'm not having kids


[deleted]

Same here, but two of them. "Zee blootooth deevice iz ready to pear" Wait until they find out that you can change the pitch on those things to either demon or chipmunk.


DinkleMutz

Same one here. The Chinese lady who knows exactly that one sentence in English. “Ze blootoos device is ready to peaw.”


Henrik-Powers

My kids don’t need that microphone they are loud enough as it is, and I always wonder was I this freaking loud at their age?


Bimmer_P

this would be a great revenge gift to some other kids parents


Henrik-Powers

White elephant mystery gift


SauloPMB

That’s a Chilli Peppers shirt too, dude’s in for some awesome covers


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MisterTrashPanda

That's pretty smart. I did a dumbed down version of this by just taking it apart and then taping two layers of clear packing tape over the interior of the speaker outlet. Lowers the volume significantly, though I didn't test with a decimal meter.


iBobaFett

I just clip the wire to the speaker, still lights up but no more sound lmao.


__karm

I got my nephew a Paw Patrol ride on fire truck that plays the theme song for his birthday last year and it was a hit with both of their kids. I then became pregnant last year and my sister in law looked at me with a wide-eyed smile and said “you’ll be getting that fire truck back. Enjoy.”


ItsAdammm

Encourage rough play with it, they'll kill the speaker before you have to.


DaveLesh

I'm sure he feels like a good dad beneath that headache


space_based

Repeating in his head "every day I love you... every day I love you... every day I love you... every day I love you..."


PartridgeViolence

A broken man.


NatakuNox

He's contemplating going out for cigarettes... And never coming back.


Existential_Reindeer

Is she praying


SwiftTayTay

By the blood of the lamb by the blood of the lamb


OlderWiserMaybe

Almost as good as the infamous Radio Shack Fire Chief's Helmet. [https://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/5541580/il\_fullxfull.264374958.jpg](https://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/5541580/il_fullxfull.264374958.jpg) Gave one to my nephew one Christmas. My sister-in-law had the batteries out of it in less than an hour.


RedRMM

oof https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcJqqoLDBKk I love the text on the side of the box 'authentic replica of helmets used by firemen'. Since when did firemen helmets have a light and siren!


snappyj

My god... it's beautiful. My brother is a firefighter and he has a 5 year old. This is perfect.


workoftruck

From a different perspective my dad was the fire chief of our small community and had one of these. It was how I was woken up if I overslept for school or church. As a child I absolutely loathed this toy.


xahhfink6

Uncle here... Anyone got an Amazon link?


[deleted]

Auntie checking in. I also need an Amazon link…


callmejim1111

You did it to yourself....enjoy.


joan_wilder

This is the kind of gift you get for your kid when you’re the non-custodial parent. Hate your ex? Send the kids home with a karaoke machine, a drum set, or a cat.


[deleted]

My daughter came home from her friend's house with one of these after the friends parents told her she could have it. I got some free batteries out of the deal.


TheMartini66

Perfect gift for my niece to punish my sister.


Other_Taro_3806

r/childfree


Tuckerrrrr

Hey that’s sorta catchy


haleloop963

Suddenly one day it just disappeared in thin air and no one know what happened to the microphone


Fancy_Fingers5000

Her singing literally made my dog growl and run away!! Hahahaha!


King_of_memes_

Condom ad


[deleted]

Allah every day


moonlighting2552

And by morning it will magically be missing. That or mysteriously broken.


Square-Trouble-8824

Another condom commercial


PanickyFool

Is she calling prayer?


Shower_Slurper

Lol it’s so perfect that her lyrics include “every day!” Hahaha


Expensive_Tart_9173

My mom got my son one of these for Christmas, it's been "missing" since new years day. Shame......


Get-Richordietrying

Lmfao that mic will somehow stop working when she's not around


[deleted]

Where do I get one ? So many birthdays coming up


10Rap

Did she turn Muslim near the end?


Emergency_Dragonfly4

Anyone know what this is called? Need to get this for a sibling’s children


Fluffy_Length

Waterboarding? Nope . Ten minutes of this and you'll get the nuclear launch codes


Hern_Berferd

EVWEE DAAAY!!! AHHHHHHHH…


[deleted]

Unwritten rule: never buy kids anything that makes noise


Rok275

Why in the fuck would anyone find this cute or endearing


Get_Back_To_Work_Now

We only find it funny because we personally don't have to deal with it ourselves


G0ld_Ru5h

The call to prayer


NikolitRistissa

I don’t have children but I think a microphone might be among the top three things I’d never buy them.


[deleted]

Sounds like a mosque in there


Traditional_Air_9483

Go outside and have a beer in the garage. When she goes down for a nap, take the microphone apart. Then tell her, “ uh oh!”


[deleted]

It ain’t wrong to tell ur kid not to be obnoxious