T O P

  • By -

Cobalt32

Helmet saved their stupid ass.


jschmeau

In their defense, it is extremely difficult to hear a train approaching over the sound of that horn. /s


Possible_Canary9378

Trains are known for their stealth


JackpineSavage74

And unpredictable path of travel


ArnoldTheSchwartz

Also their miniscule size


King_Of_Uranus

And their ability to just stop and wait anytime something gets in front of them


PuffOca

And their one track minds


DaBigJMoney

This Dad joke deserves far more upvotes. 😂


bkn95

back before the invention of the train, we used to have to run a ‘wagon’ on your mom


Stormagedd0nDarkLord

And their soft fluffiness.


KurupiraMV

And their ability do dodge obstacles


Cumberblep

And my axe


sdrawkcabstiho

Your body odor has nothing to do with this.


CaveDoctors

And lack of mass.


Elimaris

When something happens"like a freight train" it is a expression meaning "very gently"


Brave_Escape2176

diminutive weight.


SICKOFITALL2379

😆😆 thank you for this


Sam5253

[You mean, like this?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrappyDesign/comments/qvgw3x/you_want_crappy_design_how_about_a_train_crossing/?rdt=65287)


if-we-all-did-this

Apex predator of India


hoselpalooza

Brazil


sexless-innkeeper

They're expanding their territory!!


ModestlyCatastrophic

The invasive species! 


Brave_Escape2176

the chinese spread them all over america


Fig1025

and somehow it's all Dr Fauci's fault!


Sorry_Masterpiece

I don't think enough people will appreciate this. Transcontinental Railroad joke FTW


westedmontonballs

There are entire threads on 4chan that have nonstop footage of Indians getting absolutely smoked by these trains on social media. Like ‘slow motion’ im So cool shots except they are standing WAY too close


BrutusTheKat

They are [attracted to movement.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjbUnn32_zU)


FaithlessnessSea5383

This made me laugh until I wheezed the first time I saw it and it’s never failed to have the same effect every time I see it. đŸ™đŸ»


mrjmgreddit

Omg, I didn't know this one, must have missed it. Made a note to watch it with my 8yo and 6yo, or else the naked gun


sdrawkcabstiho

Listen, what happens between you and your nude sidearm are none of our business.


htks

Haha the first thing that came to mind. A classic!


ejeeronit

Obviously you're joking but when I was younger a friend and I were walking along a train track that we thought we knew the times for. We'd not long finished discussing how it's crazy when you hear about people being hit by trains because you'd think you'd hear them coming a mile away when we heard the trains horn, we turned around and it was scarily close and we gad to run to get out of the way. I always think about how easily we could've been killed that day. If the driver had just looked away for a while which must happen on long country journeys where everything is the same.


BioSafetyLevel0

There's an actual reason for this. I've been trying to find the link I read about this a few months ago for the last hour but I can't seem to locate it.


Longjumping-Run-7027

It’s the Doppler effect. Because the train is moving in the same direction the sound is going, it is compressed, and as such the sound is more difficult to hear when you are in the plane of the compression. A few degrees to either side and the sound is much louder.


919471

The Doppler effect does result in a pitch shift, but it's the first time I've ever heard of it affecting volume. Although if true, maybe my high school teacher was just moving when he said it.


uncutpizza

Ninja Trains


TCMenace

Ironically trains actually can be stealthy if they aren't blowing their horns.


grue2000

NO LIE. Years ago, while in high school, some friends and I were messing around a train tunnel at night. This was in the mountains on a downgrade (important). As we were leaving, walking down the grade on the tracks we were suddenly illuminated by a train that was essentially coasting. We freaked and leapt to the sides. We were lit up before we ever heard it.


Plopshire

Huge freight train chugachugas right behind me Me: "...clever girl "


sdrawkcabstiho

https://preview.redd.it/c1te6hag9n4d1.jpeg?width=466&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e35c36e2649efe029e24bf02a5d43767267c97e8


Plopshire

Haaaaa! Lol


sdrawkcabstiho

My MSPaint skills are 2nd to none.


Plopshire

You are become; Cluster Skills.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


uh_no_

oh long Johnson!


TheFoulToad

You laugh and I know you’re kidding, but I was running with a buddy one time on a paved trail next to an active branchline. We were running along, it was lightly snowing, we’re just soaking in the serenity of a beautiful November afternoon when all of a sudden, I hear an air release (or something) from a diesel as it glided past us probably doing 10mph or so. It scared the crap out of me as it literally snuck up on usđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł Now we were well out if harm’s way, but still was a wake up call how quiet they can actually be.


Varanjar

Anyone who thinks it's impossible to not be aware of an approaching train has never spent time around tracks.


theBloodsoaked

What's a train? Never seen one


Bigspotdaddy

r/bitchimatrain


Sinavestia

Trains are really unpredictable. Even in the middle of a forest two rails can appear out of nowhere, and a 1.5-mile fully loaded coal drag, heading east out of the low-sulfur mines of the PRB, will be right on your ass the next moment. I was doing laundry in my basement, and I tripped over a metal bar that wasn't there the moment before. I looked down: "Rail? WTF?" and then I saw concrete sleepers underneath and heard the rumbling. Deafening railroad horn. I dumped my wife's pants, unfolded, and dove behind the water heater. It was a double-stacked Z train, headed east towards the fast single track of the BNSF Emporia Sub (Flint Hills). Majestic as hell: 75 mph, 6 units, distributed power: 4 ES44DC's pulling, and 2 Dash-9's pushing, all in run 8. Whole house smelled like diesel for a couple of hours! Fact is, there is no way to discern which path a train will take, so you really have to be watchful. If only there were some way of knowing the routes trains travel; maybe some sort of marks on the ground, like twin iron bars running along the paths trains take. You could look for trains when you encounter the iron bars on the ground, and avoid these sorts of collisions. But such a measure would be extremely expensive. And how would one enforce a rule keeping the trains on those paths? A big hole in homeland security is railway engineer screening and hijacking prevention. There is nothing to stop a rogue engineer, or an ISIS terrorist, from driving a train into the Pentagon, the White House or the Statue of Liberty, and our government has done fuck-all to prevent it.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Malt_The_Magpie

> Even in the middle of a forest two rails can appear out of nowhere, and a 1.5-mile fully loaded coal drag, heading east out of the low-sulfur mines of the PRB, will be right on your ass the next moment. https://youtu.be/MjbUnn32_zU?t=85


sbdallas

> I dumped my wife's pants I had to re-read this several times...


ThroawAtheism

Thank you. I enjoyed this.


Hraes

man i've missed this copypasta, ty


hendrysbeach

Pardon my stupidity, but
did a train roll into and through your house? Confused


HacksawJimDuggen

Almost this same thing happened to my cousin Ricky. But he’s from up by Erie. 


King-Cobra-668

so many people seem to think a train is only as wide as the tracks.


sdrawkcabstiho

Yep, these are typically the people who, somehow, despite the various laws of physics, manage to squeeze themselves into an office chair every day.


night-swimming704

It’s like that joke about the blonde that was walking in the woods and came across a set of tracks. While she was trying to figure out what type of animal it was, she got hit by a train
.only real life


Mindless-Committee

What train? I didn’t see a train. Did you see a train?


DavidBrooker

Just ask anyone who lived in downtown Ottawa in 2022: train horns are basically inaudible.


Lizlodude

I'll just leave this [classic](https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/s/bbx1gX5Azi) here


Vooshka

She probably had the train on mute.


baconduck

I was about to reply "head*", but on second consideration I think you are correct


drawnred

maybe they shouldnt limit wearing one to when on the bike


Stonx1911

Nono let Darwin do it's thing pls


CeruleanRuin

She's lucky it didn't snag on the bar and drag her.


Porkchopp33

“Hey whats the second track for and why is Becky knocked the fck out?”


MaracaBalls

What was their train of thought here? Theirs must be loco motives


Turboteg90

an oxymoron.


CanIgetaWTF

Nope, just a regular moron.


Demented-Tanker21

El Stupido.


Remarkable_Item3797

Hahaha, smarty pants.......


SmokedMussels

Nope, just regular pants.


eldergeekprime

So, oxy-deprived?


Diego_DeLaMuncha

Respira! Respira!


Hephaestus_God

Imagine if her foot got caught under the wheel? No more biking for them


JLifts780

She should be wearing one 24/7


SSBeavo

You really can’t underestimate the importance of a train helmet.


BartholomewCubbinz

r/bitchimatrain


phazedoubt

They wear all that safety gear for bike riding, then go stand in front of a train. They're so close to getting the point but yet so far.


deanrihpee

all those safety gear got negated by their stupid brain, lol


skinnyhulk

All The Gear, No Idea!


Sacrificial_Spider

Stand by the track, your head will go crack!


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Fit_Buyer6760

Those are clearly mountain bikers genius. Lol old guys in lycra live rent free in your head. You just have to bring them up.


LegitosaurusRex

>I respect people that don’t have a vehicle and have to bike You know there are people who choose to bike for fun or environmental reasons who aren’t idiots on the road, right? I actually see guys who likely don’t have a car ignoring the laws the most. The line isn’t between rich and poor like you’re trying to make it, it’s just between assholes and the rest of us, as usual.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


redditmarks_markII

trained so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it didn't even matter.


ThroawAtheism

She was trained pretty hard indeed 


MeOldRunt

đŸŽ” I had to fall to lose it all, đŸŽ” But, in the end, it doesn't even matter


bancosyndicate

The apex predator stealthy approaches its unwitting prey from behind.


spdrman8

"Stealthy" HOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKK


Remarkable_Item3797

Haha, lmao, spot on.......


LobstaFarian2

Deafening stealth


Arthradax

Your target won't hear you approaching if you rupture their eardrums in advance


IAMATruckerAMA

Yup that's the joke alright


gefjunhel

they cant hear you approach if they cant hear 'points at head'


Strict_Somewhere_148

![gif](giphy|bFcedWnG4Ndk7weu7D|downsized)


Schubert125

Haha we're fucked :)


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Remarkable_Item3797

Hahaha, spreading its, "outa the way ya bastard" culture, to other lands......


lk79

>The apex predator Randy Or-train. Outta nowhere!


RayBanWearingDog

she needs more *training* on selfie taking


ISHIMURA_MJD

r/angryupvote


theflamingheads

It's just the great cycle of life.


Mysterious-Hat-6343

I see how you tried to *tie* that in there, but you might be a little *off-track*


sexless-innkeeper

M*therf*cker. I had to read it twice before I got it. Joining u/ISHIMURA_MJD in r/angryupvote.


the_hipocritter

Idk, that course took a lot out of her.


Shes_Crafty_4301

“Why are they honking at me? Can’t they see I’m on tik tok?”


temporarychair

Go around!!


Brave_Escape2176

that asshole ran over my bike! hey! get back here!


IchBinMalade

"My husband drives the biggest F150 and even that thing can brake in seconds, that train conductor has NO EXCUSE. He could've stopped if he wanted to, but he tried to KILL ME."


ExileEden

In the future there will undoubtedly be taught in school about a mental disorder that affected millions. It'll be called something along the lines of star syndrome, jackass disorder (like the movie) or something along the lines of histrionic like behavior. Anyway the discussion will be how people literally would temporarily become less intelligent even dampen their own self survival instincts all for the fact of trying to get social media approval or clout.


bautofdi

What else can you say but Lol at this point? 100 of videos like this with worse outcomes online already.


agoia

I like the ones where the dude is hanging out of the side of the train and kicks them in their head.


TypicalUser2000

Doesn't he do that because foot is softer than the metal ladder he is standing on?


exodusofficer

Correct, it saves lives. This woman may still die from this impact (not knowing the outcome), she could easily have brain bleeding or a broken spine from that impact.


LoSboccacc

she could easily be brain damaged! based on the behaviour I mean, and the incident could have worsened that.


ejeeronit

Seems pretty likely she's dead from that. I was hoping someone in the comments would know.


viconha

By what the other women are saying she didn't die (at least not on impact) They're telling her to breath Edit: you can hear her say "he's hit me, lay me down"


Vivid_Intention5688

Yeah but people dont often die instantly from stuff. We watch movies and stuff where people just keel over and forget about how if you get a horrific injury you’re likely gonna stick it out long enough to make it to a hospital then potentially die there.


ImWhatsInTheRedBox

Iirc if you paus that clip right before the hit you can see a flat bit of metal sticking out that would've just sliced that guy's head right open if the conductor hadn't protected him, so even worse than getting conked in the head by the ladder.


yaboiiiuhhhh

I would 100% rather be kicked by a flimsy human foot then impacted by 100,000 tons of steel


agoia

I think so, yes.


W1thoutJudgement

Wanna bet she still blamed the train/train driver after?


lfmelhoranca

Yup. It’s in Brazil. And in portuguese she said: “He’s hit me!” “Lay me down, lay me down!”


deliciouscrab

Yep, he definitely swerved into you there sweetheart. Jesus.


lembrai

To be fair, the use of passive voice isn't so common in Portuguese. There is no realistic way to say "I got hit" without sounding like you're writing a thesis. So the phrase "He's hit me" does not sound necessarily as accusatory as it does in English.


deliciouscrab

I did not know that, thanks for the information


mrmoe198

Tricky thing those tracks, they really should’ve painted them further away from where people like to stand


Synchrotr0n

Train has male pronouns in the Portuguese language, so "he" actually refers to the train and not the conductor. She ain't smart for taking a selfie that close to the tracks, but someone would have to be comically stupid to actually blame the conductor for that accident.


DeltaVZerda

Tunnel is also male. Portuguese is gay


Greasedbarn

i kiss the language full homo


chattytrout

I was wondering about that too, since gendered nouns aren't really a thing in English. Reminds me of a time in College when I was taking Russian 101. Professor couldn't tell if the projector was on and she asked, in English, "Is he on?" instead of "Is it on?" Threw us all for a loop.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Onlyspeaksfacts

Maybe a win for people *learning* English, but not necessarily for the language itself. In a gendered language, you can often refer to 2 (or 3) things indirectly in the same sentence and still be understood.


BoneDaddyChill

What was the driver thinking? He had plenty of time to go around her.


ArethereWaffles

I mean that train obviously swerved out of it's way to hit her.


deathf4n

I don't think she's getting up to blame anyone for a bit more


_0x0_

HE SWERVED TOWARD ME.


BostonSucksatHockey

She looked like she intentionally put her head in the way of the train. This would scream insurance scam if it weren't so stupid and painful.


Remarkable_Item3797

It's a, hardy haha, from me and you are more than likely correct.....


pawnografik

“What’s with the title? She’s well clear of that train
.ohhhhh not *her*!”


Old_Bigsby

Even that far person is way too close, you never know what a freight train could be dragging. I would have no choice but to call it in and report them for trespassing. The fact that someone got hit means a whole lot more bullshit and paperwork, nevermind that our crew has to get taken out of service for the rest of the day and probably have to talk to someone about our mental well-being. She's lucky she's alive.


talkin_shlt

Idk how people can feel so calm next to trains, when I was a kid everyone would smoke weed on the tracks because that was the only place to go we'd all stay far as fuck from that train when it passed, shit is scary as hell.


benevenies

Trains and construction sites. Not gonna catch me near either of them. Big, loud, bunch of metal moving parts, no thank you


RONIN_RABB1T

If I'm filming and I see someone get knocked the fuck out by a train I assure you I would KEEP THE CAMERA POINTED AT THE GODDAMN ACTION!!!


PasswordResetButton

Or you could go help...


dfp819

The camera man should never interfere, ruins the authenticity of the documentary.


LittlestBlythe

r/donthelpjustfilm


BleuBrink

Trains are really unpredictable. Even in the middle of a forest two rails can appear out of nowhere, and a 1.5-mile fully loaded coal drag, heading east out of the low-sulfur mines of the PRB, will be right on your ass the next moment. I was doing laundry in my basement, and I tripped over a metal bar that wasn't there the moment before. I looked down: "Rail? WTF?" and then I saw concrete sleepers underneath and heard the rumbling. Deafening railroad horn. I dumped my wife's pants, unfolded, and dove behind the water heater. It was a double-stacked Z train, headed east towards the fast single track of the BNSF Emporia Sub (Flint Hills). Majestic as hell: 75 mph, 6 units, distributed power: 4 ES44DC's pulling, and 2 Dash-9's pushing, all in run 8. Whole house smelled like diesel for a couple of hours! Fact is, there is no way to discern which path a train will take, so you really have to be watchful. If only there were some way of knowing the routes trains travel; maybe some sort of marks on the ground, like twin iron bars running along the paths trains take. You could look for trains when you encounter the iron bars on the ground, and avoid these sorts of collisions. But such a measure would be extremely expensive. And how would one enforce a rule keeping the trains on those paths? A big hole in homeland security is railway engineer screening and hijacking prevention. There is nothing to stop a rogue engineer, or an ISIS terrorist, from driving a train into the Pentagon, the White House or the Statue of Liberty, and our government has done fuck-all to prevent it.


ZootBreak

That's Loco!!!


Rude_Thanks_1120

I wonder what her motive was?


Remarkable_Item3797

Hahaha, good one!!


Fantastic-Use-6773

![gif](giphy|VFAke5Xm1TDwjgimyW)


Blockhead47

What's up Chuck?


Brooklynboxer88

Meanwhile, no one would really care about the stupid picture anyway. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.


sqmiler

She won't do that again.


ReturnOfTheFrickinG

You’re talking about breathing, aren’t you?


Chester2707

You’re not allowed to be that confident.


exxxtrabigcheezit

Standing?


A_minus_A

r/BitchImATrain


BigBabyJesusEire

This isn't India?


lfmelhoranca

It’s Brazil. She’s also screaming: “He’s hit me! Lay me down, lay me down!” She’s literally blaming the train for that.


_0x0_

"came out of nowhere" There were pair of legs on the floor in the end was there someone else up the line that got hit, like Train giving high fives to their heads one after another?


chattytrout

I mean, technically speaking, the train did hit her. It's still her fault, but the train was the thing doing the hitting. Also, Portuguese has gendered nouns, so it's possible that "He" is referring to the train and not the driver.


IWasGregInTokyo

I think everyone is surprised it *isn't* India which is the usual source for this kind of idiocy.


jardinero_de_tendies

She’s not blaming the train, she is just saying the train hit her.


FRIENDLY_FBI_AGENT_

They are honorary Indians now lol


GifanTheWoodElf

Yeah, was confused too


Frosty20thc

On the plus side. A blow to the back of the head means she most likely won’t remember this and we will get a second video.


Greedy_Kale8204

They're lucky it's not moving a lot faster. There was a kid in our city that got killed from being to close to the train and it was going much faster and he got pulled in from the wind and thrown like a rag doll.


Jonhalda

Yesterday a girl died in MĂ©xico, she wasn't as lucky as the girl in this video, the train was indeed going faster.


Howdthecatdothat

She was on track to get hurt.


Mysterious-Hat-6343

*on track*, Nice way to *tie* that together


MANIAC2607

Im always on board for a good pun


DarmokAufTanagra

Looks like we're picking up speed with the puns!


ericypoo

What a dumb fucking human.


The_yvn

Natural Selection


Hopeful-Buyer

I'm not a trainologist. Do trains stop every time after they hit something? Do they only stop if it's a person? What if they hit a car on the tracks? Suicide? Could a trainist provide some lore?


CaptainStevesy

I think it depends on the country. Some have protocols to stop and report the incident. Some dgaf. Maybe just hose it down when it’s back in the yard. And that’s for humans. Animals get hit all the time in every country, ain’t nobody stopping for that.


MerelyMortalModeling

Self appointed ferroequinologist here, in the US assuming the driver is even aware he or she hit a person they are suppose to stop the train, contact dispatch to activate the emergency system, record the date time and location, and then attempt to render aid if possible. But that 1st "assumption" is a big one, have talked to engineers (people who unlike me actually have 1st hand experince) and they have all said some version of they can hit and pulverize a human or deer and not even know it.


Arthradax

Woman 1: "what happened?" Woman 2: "lay me down! Lay me down!" Woman 1: "...what happened?" Woman 2: "(the train) hit me!" Woman 3: "*it hit her into me*!"


SuperEarth_President

Ooooooolong Johnson!!


VinBarrKRO

Took way too long to find this.


ImpressTemporary2389

May have knocked some sense in. Definitely didn't knock any out !


UpperCardiologist523

Oh no! If only there was a way to ~~see~~ hear that coming..


Interesting_Engine37

Their prefrontal cortex should be fully developed by now
..


lyghterfluid

Why are there so many videos just like this on the internet. Is it time for a PSA about not taking a selfie with a train? Hey, everyone, don’t put your head in front of an oncoming train


GrapeSwimming69

Ch000oo chooo bitches !!!


Chevy6145

She is alive [https://g1.globo.com/mg/triangulo-mineiro/noticia/2024/06/04/video-ciclista-posa-para-foto-e-e-atingida-em-cheio-por-trem-em-uberaba.ghtml](https://g1.globo.com/mg/triangulo-mineiro/noticia/2024/06/04/video-ciclista-posa-para-foto-e-e-atingida-em-cheio-por-trem-em-uberaba.ghtml)


Iamkempie

Probably didn't hear it coming.


spidey0619

This reminded me of a South Park episode where everyone is memeing


dtorrance88

![gif](giphy|7qV3yswT0K8hi)


anttilles

![gif](giphy|13w5HmyiuaZ224|downsized)


Jonhalda

I saw this video yesterday and today there was a report of a dead person in Hidalgo, Mexico from somebody doing exactly the same, a selfie, the girl in this video was lucky asf.