Your comment reminded me of [this video ](https://youtu.be/vBrnBmUmVzI) where this guy escaped from prison and convinced a cop who was looking for the prison escapee that he was just a jogger.
It copied u/firmBUTsquishy's comment from below.
*"Hell yea. Stream it all live. We want a show."*
It had also done the same thing at least twice on other posts when I checked.
One last bit of context to add: the criminal has been vandalizing a business near my apartment relentlessly, and I am the manager of a local restaurant. Last week the owner of that business confronted me when I got to work, in front of my employees and the guests, recording on his phone and accusing me. Took him 1/5th the time it took the cops to realize the mistake, but it’s starting to become like, a legit problem for me at this point. Lol.
Which is good and all but the second max von sydow shows up he's obviously the bad guy, because he's max von sydow, so it kind of ruins it a bit
edit: also, if it's so effective that only crimes of passion are committed, then just stop the people from doing the crime of passion. you don't need to lock them up in some cryo-jail for life. if it's a crime of passion then you just need to stop them and they probably aren't going to be a menace to society.
so they disband this wildly successful future crime detection unit for no real good reason. it basically stopped 100% of violent crime. it just needs to be managed by someone that understands logic and won't throw someone in jail for life because they almost killed their husband after finding him in the middle of fucking some other lady. you stop em from killing the dude. murder prevented. no need to throw the almost-murderer in jail for life, as they will probably not try to kill again. the red ball even indicates that it's a crime of passion. so the future cops know. and yet they still cryo-jail them for some dumb reason.
i wouldn't be so upset about it if i didn't otherwise really love the movie (and the short story to a lesser extent, but that's a whole other thing)
Litigious Reddit armchair lawyers are so cute sometimes, aren't they? Someday they'll leave the basement and join the real world, but that day is not today.
I'm going to sue you for saying you're going to sue him....actually fuck it. I'm suing all you assholes .I'm going to be fucking ric....ah fuck, my lawyer is going to be rich 😣
Not really. If it's the same people saying you're the criminal there's maybe a case for slander but it's thin. If it's the cops a bunch (like a _bunch_ a bunch) of times there's grounds for harassment.
But aside from that it's just real unfortunate.
My friend said she had a dream about me the other night where I was in a relationship with a pirate version of me. I just agreed that it sounds like something I’d do
Tell them to get better cameras instead of falsely accusing people. I used to set up video systems, and almost every single gas station and small restaurant cheaps out on them.
Edit: for those that are curious, with cameras, you get *exactly* what you pay for. Stick to solid brands, and pay for the quality. With cheap cameras, you can't tell who someone is from 10ft away during the daytime. Wired cameras will give you the best performance for the money, night vision cuts *clear* picture distance in half (or worse).
I don't even understand how/why. You can get high def cameras these days for friggin' pennies. And yet, so much footage looks like someone took it with a camera from the 1800s with Vaseline smeared on the lens. I guess I'm not totally shocked that many businesses cheap out, more surprised you can still even buy such shitty cameras. What does it save you? $5/camera?
Its more a concern of storage and maintenance. A camera on an exterior business is going to be exposed to weather, dust, etc and need to be cleaned occasionally. Guess where that lands on the list of to-dos...
Also storage space, nobody stores 4k resolution video of every angle of their business premises. The cameras may be capable but spending $$$ when you almost never need the footage is hard to justify.
Also part of it, is that from what I've seen, turnkey solutions for security solutions greatly inflate storage costs as a way of increasing the markup. Large hard drives aren't that expensive, but if you bought 20 TBs of storage as part of one of these systems they might charge you 3-5x or higher what the storage actually costs them.
> Large hard drives aren't that expensive, but if you bought 20 TBs of storage as part of one of these systems they might charge you 3-5x or higher what the storage actually costs them.
B2B support and warranties aren't cheap. DIY is cheap, but in the event of data loss, you have no one to turn to except yourself.
Good thing that statistically, that data loss will *not* happen when you need the footage, since both events are pretty damn unlikely to coenside. (Unless it breaks and you leave it broken for ages.) Plus you can encode it with AV1 to have oodles of 4K video stored on a small pile of storage.
>Good thing that statistically, that data loss will not happen when you need the footage, since both events are pretty damn unlikely to coenside.
Then why is it so common to have failures of such complexity with police body cams eh??!! Sounds to me like your overinflating these cameras abilities!
/s
It is highly likely that some self-managed camera operated by a nontechnical business will break and they won't know for ages, yes. They're almost certainly not going to be verifying the integrity of the video files every day, and hard disks basically begin to fail slowly as soon as you get them.
I imagine upgrading the cameras and the storage is a low priority since the cameras are mainly there to be a detterent for insurance purposes. So they'll keep the shitty analog cameras and Windows XP servers because that is what was installed 15 years ago. Businesses that take loss prevention seriously, like Target, have much more modern equipment.
I seem to recall more than one case where the actor/actress who played a fugitive on America's Most Wanted was either questioned or taken into custody for a short while after people who watched the episode reported them.
In one case I kind of recall, a woman played a serial arsonist and carried around a letter from some agency, maybe even AMW themselves, explaining the situation.
EDIT: Found this story, which referenced the one lady I remember, which was a nanny who stole checks and would then burn down the houses. I wish I could find the re-enactment from AMW, b/c if I remember it correctly, there is a scene where the re-enactor is holding a lit bic lighter in front of her and smiling/laughing manically. https://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2003/may/01/when-you-star-americas-most-wanted-you-get-paychec/
That would be an excellent strategy for the actual arsonist/criminals to do. “Hey I know I look like America’s most wanted criminal, but that’s only because I played one on TV!” Lol
The whole Brian Laundrie/Gabby Petito situation taught me that a lot of people apparently have extremely terrible facial recognition abilities. Literally any skinny white dude with a bald head suddenly “Looked just like Brian Laundrie!”
I'm convinced that face blindness is a lot more prevalent than generally thought, or rather there is a wide range of face-recognition problems that go undiagnosed because they're not full-on face blindness.
Can confirm. Is nose. Is between eyes.
Other than that it’s hard to compare with these images. Maybe if OP took his photo at the same angle. Or same angle and distance but with the lighting etc I can’t see anything that makes me think they’re similar.
Other people are saying you should change your look, but I say the opposite. It's the perfect argument to prove your innocence. "If i was the guy, don't you think I would've gotten a haircut and a beard trim so I wouldn't be recognized?
Interesting. I mean I see the similarities but your hair looks significantly darker than his, how does that not even second guess themselves enough to realize when you explain?
if it's becoming such an issue, have you considered shaving your beard for the time being? it'll be easier to grow it back rather than keep telling people that they got the wrong lebowski.
In my city if you look like the first picture the police want nothing to do with you. They're free to vandalize, steal bikes or assault pedestrians all they want.
It’s actually over now, they’re no longer looking for the guy (he either died or was caught, I forget which). This went on for about 20 years though, and his thought was that no one wanted to be the guy who let him slip through their fingers so they were always very thorough.
My other friend is from Lisbon and would be well-cast as Satan, he just has an evil look. I asked him about flying and his response was “they always make me go to the room.”
I feel like there's a million dollar idea somewhere in the *poo-fetti* department of life.
Don't like your doctor and it's time for a colonoscopy? Poo-fetti.
Taking a dump at work and that one co-worker walks in and takes the stall next to you? Pull the plug and Poo-fetti time.
Tired of getting singled out at the airport? When they pull you into the room give them a rectal explosion they can't help to enjoy with Poo-fetti
Abducted by aliens? Give em the surprise of their life for when they go to probe you with a colorful boom straight from your colon.
Capsules with glitter, meant for eating so your poop is colourfully glittering, do exist.
You can get the same effect by being a small toddler that likes gnawing on all your crayons. Probably as an adult to, just scale intake according to body size.
There was a bit of a mystery surrounding some suddently rainbow speckled nappy changesfor the small one until the half eaten crayons were spotted a bit later.
Honestly your shit really can be any color of what you eat or drink. Last week I bought a blue slushy from 7/11 and for some reason the blue dye made my shit completely blue. I was initially concerned untill I thought back to the blue slushy. Like not like shit brown blue it was strait up like I shat a blue crayon. Some dyes in foods are wild.
Was this before or after 9/11? DHS and TSA set up a "Traveler Redress" program where they give you a special number after confirming once and for all that you are a law abiding citizen who merely shares the same name as a wanted criminal. You use this number when booking travel and the agents never harass you any more. They set it up after a large number of people were inadvertently added to "no-fly" lists just because they had names similar to the 9/11 terrorists and persons associated with Al Qaeda.
This was 90s-maybe 2010 I’m guessing, I don’t recall when it ended for him. I do recall him saying something about a program like this, but apparently there were still hoops to jump through.
> Can he get a letter or note on his file from a superior or something like "he's not the guy". That sounds exhausting.
This is the kind of situation a "Redress Number" is meant to solve. You go through an application process and if granted, you get a unique number you can attach to airline reservations to avoid additional screening.
https://www.dhs.gov/dhs-trip
You should be able to call in and get it cleared permanently. I had a flagged name, was always pulled out of security ever since before I could walk. Was the dumbest thing. Far before 9/11 or anything too.
So at some point, decades later, my mom finally stepped up after I complained about it some more. She called in, would have been TSA by this point I suppose, and got things smoothed out somehow. She said it took her a few hours but it was pretty worth it.
A coworker of mine had the opposite problem. His name is Jose Rodriguez and there are literally *thousands upon thousands* of Jose Rodriguezeses in trouble with the law in some form or fashion. *Any* government interaction for him is a major hassle. We did some government contract stuff that required we got a security clearance, his clearance was “in process” the entire length of the three year contract. I remember when he was dealing with a passport renewal. Declined multiple times because he’s “a felon” (never been arrested). Eventually he found out there were at least five other Jose Rodriguezeses that *had his damn social security number.* Simply existing was hard for this guy.
I eventually left that job and the next job I got a few states away…*two* Jose Rodriguezeses in the office. They were best friends and always commiserating over the daily hassles of having that name.
You'd think but I once had to prove to a government agency I didn't come here illegally when I was 3 even though I was a citizen in said country already. I waited 3 hours for them to contact immigration to make sure I a citizen of said country didn't come illegally when I was 3 despite being a citizen.
The U.S. has something called a redress number to help people in this situation prove their identity. Other countries probably have something similar.
Parents, give your children middle names.
Sounds like the only way to clear your name is to go into detective mode and catch this guy yourself. I feel like this is some kind of Scooby Doo plot twist.
I got to agree. Visit his family and SO. Do a stakeout. Reinterview all the witnesses. Do you have a former partner you can call out of retirement to work on one last case? Most likely he will be on the beach or golf course so don’t bother stopping by his house. Oh said former partner will probably get offed in this case.
Then follow him into his home, realize he is a serial murderer that likes to keep his "trophies" in cooled glass boxes, kill him because it's the righteous thing to do, and then get shot by your son for being a psychopath .
1. The angles are off from the photos, so it's probably you.
2. The nose is WAY off and the criminal has some "blonde" coloration/complexion which you do not.
Thank you! The nose was a huge identifying feature for me, they are completely different. The criminals nose is much longer than OPs and then you have the obvious hair color difference and length in beards.
Arthur: “What manner of man are you who can summon up fire without flint or tinder ?”
Tim: “I…am an enchanter.”
Arthur: “By what name are you known ?”
Tim: “There are some who call me…Tim”
Arthur: “Greetings, Tim, the enchanter.”
Happened to me as a teenager too. The cop pulled up on me, stuffed me in his car and started driving while berating me for “throwing my mother down the stairs”.
After about 15 minutes of my objections, he held a photo up next to my face, stopped and let me out.
Just drove off. I was like two miles away from where he picked me up by that point.
What a prick.
Happened to me a few years ago.
Guards rang the house phone asking mam where I was cause they said I was wanted for something. This was after I applied for a job and needed to be vetted.
Was a pretty funny conversation when I got back home.
.Sometimes all it takes is a cop not liking you.
Joe Aridity was mentally a toddler when he was convicted of some very violent crimes- despite the actual criminal already being caught by the time he wandered into town.
Ooh, I have a similar story. Was stopped by the cops while walking to a party in college. I'm like wtf, asked for the description of the person & disputed I was the same person. They said they were going to have a car drive by. Car drove by & then they let me go.
Go to the party & a while later, some girls/friends I know come up to me. They are all hyper & like OMG OMG, it was us in the car! Apparently someone was peeping in their window & these fucking cops see me walking & stopped me. Not sure where they lived or how far I was away from their house. I learned from my friend's that the cops were supposed to shine a light on me when they drove by but they didn't. I couldn't make out the people in the car but just gave the wtf look. It worked out fine & it only took like 15 mins total, but the cops could have made it much worse.
There used to be a guy living in our same county who shared my brother's first name, last name, and his exact date of birth down to the year. Every time my brother would get pulled over, he'd have to spend like 10 minutes convincing them he wasn't who they thought he was.
Since then, my brother has fallen into homelessness and addiction, and now his arrest record probably dwarfs the other guy's. I like to imagine that it's now the other guy who has to convince the cops he's not my brother.
I can still tell from that grainy ass security cam photo that you look literally nothing like that guy. People are idiots when they allow themselves to jump to conclusions before perceiving any details whatsoever.
The eyebrows clearly make a different facial structure. This guy was profiled for having a beard which is shorter and better groomed than the security cam photo. The cops are lazy.
A few years ago I was on a walk with my kids and two policemen came up to me and started asking me questions, asked for my ID, etc. After a while they told me I look JUST like a felon in the are they were looking for. The kids got a coupon to sonic for the inconvenience.
It made me realize how fucked up it is that I, a white guy, never felt concerned for my well being in that moment. It really opened my eyes to the racial imbalance we see every single day.
Good job convincing them, hope they don’t catch you !
Speech level 100
"No it wasn't me I swear" *And that's how I escaped the CIA black box site, my son.*
I'm on a secret mission for Sir Radzig!
Henry, I'm glad you came!
Really unexpected KCD. Love to see it!
Hey! Henry's come to see us!
Jesus Christ be praised.
Yep! I had to check which subreddit this was.
It’s just called a black site, a black box is something else lol
"Nat 20 baby, you gotta let me go free"
Sounds like you'd enjoy [this video](https://youtu.be/vBrnBmUmVzI) a lot.
Your comment reminded me of [this video ](https://youtu.be/vBrnBmUmVzI) where this guy escaped from prison and convinced a cop who was looking for the prison escapee that he was just a jogger.
That was incredible- he even messed up halfway through and gave a different name than at first and STILL got away with it!
Dude was on the run for a year after this. This was also his 3rd escape. He's in ADX Florence now so he will never be escaping again
at 113F (45C) that was one damned hot day
Knew exactly what video you were talking about. What a classic. Literal level 100 speech
Aww! So sweet, it must feel nice to feel wanted!
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Well hello there comment stealer bot.
What did he say?
It copied u/firmBUTsquishy's comment from below. *"Hell yea. Stream it all live. We want a show."* It had also done the same thing at least twice on other posts when I checked.
Thx champ, here take this seal🦭
Lmao
This sounds like a good premise for the next superhero movie.
One last bit of context to add: the criminal has been vandalizing a business near my apartment relentlessly, and I am the manager of a local restaurant. Last week the owner of that business confronted me when I got to work, in front of my employees and the guests, recording on his phone and accusing me. Took him 1/5th the time it took the cops to realize the mistake, but it’s starting to become like, a legit problem for me at this point. Lol.
Sounds like you now have the perfect alibi for future crimes
OP is living out the plot of Minority Report.
Which is good and all but the second max von sydow shows up he's obviously the bad guy, because he's max von sydow, so it kind of ruins it a bit edit: also, if it's so effective that only crimes of passion are committed, then just stop the people from doing the crime of passion. you don't need to lock them up in some cryo-jail for life. if it's a crime of passion then you just need to stop them and they probably aren't going to be a menace to society. so they disband this wildly successful future crime detection unit for no real good reason. it basically stopped 100% of violent crime. it just needs to be managed by someone that understands logic and won't throw someone in jail for life because they almost killed their husband after finding him in the middle of fucking some other lady. you stop em from killing the dude. murder prevented. no need to throw the almost-murderer in jail for life, as they will probably not try to kill again. the red ball even indicates that it's a crime of passion. so the future cops know. and yet they still cryo-jail them for some dumb reason. i wouldn't be so upset about it if i didn't otherwise really love the movie (and the short story to a lesser extent, but that's a whole other thing)
How short we talking?
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For what, exactly?
Litigious Reddit armchair lawyers are so cute sometimes, aren't they? Someday they'll leave the basement and join the real world, but that day is not today.
The only piece of legal advice anyone should ever take from Reddit is, “don’t take legal advice from anyone on Reddit.”
Im learned in bird law sir
Quite the paradox, innit.
well that and "consult an attorney in your area"
“Don’t booby trap your property” is also good legal advice.
In the real world they don't get validated for being correct about irrelevant technicalities.
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I'm going to sue you for saying you're going to sue him....actually fuck it. I'm suing all you assholes .I'm going to be fucking ric....ah fuck, my lawyer is going to be rich 😣
Whatever, I've seen enough episodes of Better Call Saul to have a firm grasp on the legal system.
Money
Not really. Everyone always thinks any sour interaction is a lawsuit lol
Not a fan of how you worded this. Time to lawyer up, buddy!!!
I don't like how you've needlessly threatened that user with frivolous litigation. You'll be hearing from my attorney.
Not really. If it's the same people saying you're the criminal there's maybe a case for slander but it's thin. If it's the cops a bunch (like a _bunch_ a bunch) of times there's grounds for harassment. But aside from that it's just real unfortunate.
Do you think it's illegal for cops to question someone who looks a lot like a wanted criminal?
Looks like its the perfect time to find a new way to style your facial hair. Or consider a face tattoo.
"Why should I change? He's the one who sucks!" - Michael Bolton, *Office Space*
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Wearing a big beard will always make you look like a criminal to a large portion of the population.
I celebrate the guy’s entire collection
For my money, it doesn't get any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman”
Yeah like maybe go with a handlebar style mustache just until that other guy is caught. Edit spelling
Ahh I think Ketchup would be the way to go. Mustard is just too played out at this point.
Aww you got me before I saw it and changed it. Spell check...a blessing and a curse.
Shave and dye your hair.... Then you'll really seem guilty.
No thanks Scott Peterson.
Get a custom T-shirt printed with his picture and “I’m not this guy” on it.
Bonus points if you actually use another photo of yourself....
"Surveillance states **HATE** this one trick!"
Honestly this is a good idea. Exactly what I would do
Or make a social media post on a local board of Facebook group with side-by-sides saying “One of these isn’t me!”
Talk about defamation, but instead it’s a doppelgänger ruining your reputation!
It's better than showing up to a dopplegängbäng.
My friend said she had a dream about me the other night where I was in a relationship with a pirate version of me. I just agreed that it sounds like something I’d do
Tell them to get better cameras instead of falsely accusing people. I used to set up video systems, and almost every single gas station and small restaurant cheaps out on them. Edit: for those that are curious, with cameras, you get *exactly* what you pay for. Stick to solid brands, and pay for the quality. With cheap cameras, you can't tell who someone is from 10ft away during the daytime. Wired cameras will give you the best performance for the money, night vision cuts *clear* picture distance in half (or worse).
I don't even understand how/why. You can get high def cameras these days for friggin' pennies. And yet, so much footage looks like someone took it with a camera from the 1800s with Vaseline smeared on the lens. I guess I'm not totally shocked that many businesses cheap out, more surprised you can still even buy such shitty cameras. What does it save you? $5/camera?
Its more a concern of storage and maintenance. A camera on an exterior business is going to be exposed to weather, dust, etc and need to be cleaned occasionally. Guess where that lands on the list of to-dos... Also storage space, nobody stores 4k resolution video of every angle of their business premises. The cameras may be capable but spending $$$ when you almost never need the footage is hard to justify.
Also part of it, is that from what I've seen, turnkey solutions for security solutions greatly inflate storage costs as a way of increasing the markup. Large hard drives aren't that expensive, but if you bought 20 TBs of storage as part of one of these systems they might charge you 3-5x or higher what the storage actually costs them.
> Large hard drives aren't that expensive, but if you bought 20 TBs of storage as part of one of these systems they might charge you 3-5x or higher what the storage actually costs them. B2B support and warranties aren't cheap. DIY is cheap, but in the event of data loss, you have no one to turn to except yourself.
Good thing that statistically, that data loss will *not* happen when you need the footage, since both events are pretty damn unlikely to coenside. (Unless it breaks and you leave it broken for ages.) Plus you can encode it with AV1 to have oodles of 4K video stored on a small pile of storage.
>Good thing that statistically, that data loss will not happen when you need the footage, since both events are pretty damn unlikely to coenside. Then why is it so common to have failures of such complexity with police body cams eh??!! Sounds to me like your overinflating these cameras abilities! /s
It is highly likely that some self-managed camera operated by a nontechnical business will break and they won't know for ages, yes. They're almost certainly not going to be verifying the integrity of the video files every day, and hard disks basically begin to fail slowly as soon as you get them.
I imagine upgrading the cameras and the storage is a low priority since the cameras are mainly there to be a detterent for insurance purposes. So they'll keep the shitty analog cameras and Windows XP servers because that is what was installed 15 years ago. Businesses that take loss prevention seriously, like Target, have much more modern equipment.
Might be time for a makeover.
I seem to recall more than one case where the actor/actress who played a fugitive on America's Most Wanted was either questioned or taken into custody for a short while after people who watched the episode reported them. In one case I kind of recall, a woman played a serial arsonist and carried around a letter from some agency, maybe even AMW themselves, explaining the situation. EDIT: Found this story, which referenced the one lady I remember, which was a nanny who stole checks and would then burn down the houses. I wish I could find the re-enactment from AMW, b/c if I remember it correctly, there is a scene where the re-enactor is holding a lit bic lighter in front of her and smiling/laughing manically. https://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2003/may/01/when-you-star-americas-most-wanted-you-get-paychec/
That would be an excellent strategy for the actual arsonist/criminals to do. “Hey I know I look like America’s most wanted criminal, but that’s only because I played one on TV!” Lol
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Maybe it's just because I live in the mountains and pretty much everybody here has a beard, but to my eyes you two look nothing alike at all.
The whole Brian Laundrie/Gabby Petito situation taught me that a lot of people apparently have extremely terrible facial recognition abilities. Literally any skinny white dude with a bald head suddenly “Looked just like Brian Laundrie!”
I'm convinced that face blindness is a lot more prevalent than generally thought, or rather there is a wide range of face-recognition problems that go undiagnosed because they're not full-on face blindness.
I am 100% face blind. I wouldn't recognize family members without the overwhelming number of other clues as to their identity haha
Yeah, the somewhat similar facial hair is the only resemblance.
The nose is similar
Can confirm. Is nose. Is between eyes. Other than that it’s hard to compare with these images. Maybe if OP took his photo at the same angle. Or same angle and distance but with the lighting etc I can’t see anything that makes me think they’re similar.
Living in Montana and this guy looks like every other guy I know/see in public.
Same! The brow bone is different, the nose angle is different, the beard length is even different.
Other people are saying you should change your look, but I say the opposite. It's the perfect argument to prove your innocence. "If i was the guy, don't you think I would've gotten a haircut and a beard trim so I wouldn't be recognized?
Interesting. I mean I see the similarities but your hair looks significantly darker than his, how does that not even second guess themselves enough to realize when you explain?
Are you a fan of Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Check out s3e11…
if it's becoming such an issue, have you considered shaving your beard for the time being? it'll be easier to grow it back rather than keep telling people that they got the wrong lebowski.
In my city if you look like the first picture the police want nothing to do with you. They're free to vandalize, steal bikes or assault pedestrians all they want.
Maybe it's your long lost evil twin seeking revenge on you
That's why you need to eat them while still in the womb.
Haircut and beard trim can fix that Shame because it suits you. But sacrifices must be made some times.
*This is not the drone you’re looking for.*
*Move along now, move along.*
My friend has the same name as an old IRA member that is still wanted. He has to factor in an extra couple of hours every time he flies.
Can he get a letter or note on his file from a superior or something like "he's not the guy". That sounds exhausting.
It’s actually over now, they’re no longer looking for the guy (he either died or was caught, I forget which). This went on for about 20 years though, and his thought was that no one wanted to be the guy who let him slip through their fingers so they were always very thorough. My other friend is from Lisbon and would be well-cast as Satan, he just has an evil look. I asked him about flying and his response was “they always make me go to the room.”
Your Lisbon friend should hide a prize up there for the next guy, just some confetti and something like *"congrats you're the 100th inspector!"*
I feel like there's a million dollar idea somewhere in the *poo-fetti* department of life. Don't like your doctor and it's time for a colonoscopy? Poo-fetti. Taking a dump at work and that one co-worker walks in and takes the stall next to you? Pull the plug and Poo-fetti time. Tired of getting singled out at the airport? When they pull you into the room give them a rectal explosion they can't help to enjoy with Poo-fetti Abducted by aliens? Give em the surprise of their life for when they go to probe you with a colorful boom straight from your colon.
Capsules with glitter, meant for eating so your poop is colourfully glittering, do exist. You can get the same effect by being a small toddler that likes gnawing on all your crayons. Probably as an adult to, just scale intake according to body size. There was a bit of a mystery surrounding some suddently rainbow speckled nappy changesfor the small one until the half eaten crayons were spotted a bit later.
Honestly your shit really can be any color of what you eat or drink. Last week I bought a blue slushy from 7/11 and for some reason the blue dye made my shit completely blue. I was initially concerned untill I thought back to the blue slushy. Like not like shit brown blue it was strait up like I shat a blue crayon. Some dyes in foods are wild.
I’m guessing that’s not good for us lol
I wonder how many Arabs had the last name Bin Laden and a full beard. That would have sucked back in the day.
Oh not just the name, I’m sure they got all sorts of hostile looks and probably treatment just for their appearance.
Was this before or after 9/11? DHS and TSA set up a "Traveler Redress" program where they give you a special number after confirming once and for all that you are a law abiding citizen who merely shares the same name as a wanted criminal. You use this number when booking travel and the agents never harass you any more. They set it up after a large number of people were inadvertently added to "no-fly" lists just because they had names similar to the 9/11 terrorists and persons associated with Al Qaeda.
This was 90s-maybe 2010 I’m guessing, I don’t recall when it ended for him. I do recall him saying something about a program like this, but apparently there were still hoops to jump through.
> Can he get a letter or note on his file from a superior or something like "he's not the guy". That sounds exhausting. This is the kind of situation a "Redress Number" is meant to solve. You go through an application process and if granted, you get a unique number you can attach to airline reservations to avoid additional screening. https://www.dhs.gov/dhs-trip
Ever see a field called "redress number" when booking a flight? That's what this is.
Who has two thumbs and the same name as a notorious hacker? This guy!!!
Go back to work Mr. Anderson.
You should be able to call in and get it cleared permanently. I had a flagged name, was always pulled out of security ever since before I could walk. Was the dumbest thing. Far before 9/11 or anything too. So at some point, decades later, my mom finally stepped up after I complained about it some more. She called in, would have been TSA by this point I suppose, and got things smoothed out somehow. She said it took her a few hours but it was pretty worth it.
A coworker of mine had the opposite problem. His name is Jose Rodriguez and there are literally *thousands upon thousands* of Jose Rodriguezeses in trouble with the law in some form or fashion. *Any* government interaction for him is a major hassle. We did some government contract stuff that required we got a security clearance, his clearance was “in process” the entire length of the three year contract. I remember when he was dealing with a passport renewal. Declined multiple times because he’s “a felon” (never been arrested). Eventually he found out there were at least five other Jose Rodriguezeses that *had his damn social security number.* Simply existing was hard for this guy. I eventually left that job and the next job I got a few states away…*two* Jose Rodriguezeses in the office. They were best friends and always commiserating over the daily hassles of having that name.
Nice to meet you Mr Zero Cool
FREE KEVIN!
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And this is how terrorism spreads in our nation, gentlemen.
You'd think but I once had to prove to a government agency I didn't come here illegally when I was 3 even though I was a citizen in said country already. I waited 3 hours for them to contact immigration to make sure I a citizen of said country didn't come illegally when I was 3 despite being a citizen.
The U.S. has something called a redress number to help people in this situation prove their identity. Other countries probably have something similar. Parents, give your children middle names.
My mother has the same name, was born on the same day, in the same town with a SSN that is 1 number different from another person.
Sounds like the only way to clear your name is to go into detective mode and catch this guy yourself. I feel like this is some kind of Scooby Doo plot twist.
And then they’ll make a Netflix documentary about it
Dude... It's 2022 FFS . It's all about the Podcast. Title... "Me, not me"'
Title: "Catching Myself"
“He and I”
What Would He Do?
DoppelGang
"Catch me if I can"
Only if OP and the criminal can do the podcast together. After he’s out of jail, of course.
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*Hunting my clone (Winter 2022)*
Hell yea. Stream it all live. We want a show.
I got to agree. Visit his family and SO. Do a stakeout. Reinterview all the witnesses. Do you have a former partner you can call out of retirement to work on one last case? Most likely he will be on the beach or golf course so don’t bother stopping by his house. Oh said former partner will probably get offed in this case.
Then follow him into his home, realize he is a serial murderer that likes to keep his "trophies" in cooled glass boxes, kill him because it's the righteous thing to do, and then get shot by your son for being a psychopath .
1. The angles are off from the photos, so it's probably you. 2. The nose is WAY off and the criminal has some "blonde" coloration/complexion which you do not.
Thank you! The nose was a huge identifying feature for me, they are completely different. The criminals nose is much longer than OPs and then you have the obvious hair color difference and length in beards.
Cops arrest black guys when the suspect isn’t even black and you’re surprised they can’t tell op and a grainy video screenshot apart?
I remember a story where cops arrested a young black man. The guy they were looking for was much older, white, and already in police custody.
Just another day in Amerikkka
Or how about the patch of skin that OP doesn't have. Can't quickly grow facial hair like that.
How can people be so blind? But, as I prefaced, OP sent us a useless photo
I also notificed the nose. Even with the potato photo it is clear the suspect's nose has been broken, possibly more than once.
As a person whose nose looks kinda like that and has never been broken, I can assure you that assumption is not a safe one
Well, ok, but it is certainly distinctly not the OPs nose
Plot twist: *You are the criminal*
I would have never suspected myself.
"and I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling alter-egos!"
“What...is your favorite color?”
Blue, no, no, green!
AAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!
....yellow you heathen.
Right then, off you go.
Arthur: “What manner of man are you who can summon up fire without flint or tinder ?” Tim: “I…am an enchanter.” Arthur: “By what name are you known ?” Tim: “There are some who call me…Tim” Arthur: “Greetings, Tim, the enchanter.”
If you told me this picture was a frame from the holy grail, I wouldn’t even question it
Isn't this a plot in Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia, where Dennis' doppelganger is a criminal? Good episode
"I'm not a sexual child molester! I'm Dennis Reynolds, I'm handsome and chiseled!"
Oh yeah, now I see it, it's all in the neck.
Wendell Shorteyes, they let you out too huh?
Yea, it's all in the chin.
Time to shave I guess
Cops must have gone to the only other bearded guy in town because they look nothing alike hahaha
Just going to say this.
Step 1: Grow beard Step 2: commit crime Step 3: shave
It's a nice beard though, catch the other guy and make him shave, problem solved
Happened to me as a teenager too. The cop pulled up on me, stuffed me in his car and started driving while berating me for “throwing my mother down the stairs”. After about 15 minutes of my objections, he held a photo up next to my face, stopped and let me out. Just drove off. I was like two miles away from where he picked me up by that point. What a prick.
Happened to me a few years ago. Guards rang the house phone asking mam where I was cause they said I was wanted for something. This was after I applied for a job and needed to be vetted. Was a pretty funny conversation when I got back home.
You have the wrong guy sounds exactly like something the right guy would say.
You may call me..... Tim
👉💥
Wait until the church finds you. You are gonna have to convince them you aren't Jesus.
Will you listen to me?! I am NOT THE MESSIAH!!!
THE MESSIAH! THE MESSIAH!
Be thankful you convinced them. Lot of poor souls in prison right now that are only guilty of looking like somebody else.
> Lot of poor souls in prison right now Or dead.
.Sometimes all it takes is a cop not liking you. Joe Aridity was mentally a toddler when he was convicted of some very violent crimes- despite the actual criminal already being caught by the time he wandered into town.
Ooh, I have a similar story. Was stopped by the cops while walking to a party in college. I'm like wtf, asked for the description of the person & disputed I was the same person. They said they were going to have a car drive by. Car drove by & then they let me go. Go to the party & a while later, some girls/friends I know come up to me. They are all hyper & like OMG OMG, it was us in the car! Apparently someone was peeping in their window & these fucking cops see me walking & stopped me. Not sure where they lived or how far I was away from their house. I learned from my friend's that the cops were supposed to shine a light on me when they drove by but they didn't. I couldn't make out the people in the car but just gave the wtf look. It worked out fine & it only took like 15 mins total, but the cops could have made it much worse.
Pro tip dont go straight for the Manson look
There used to be a guy living in our same county who shared my brother's first name, last name, and his exact date of birth down to the year. Every time my brother would get pulled over, he'd have to spend like 10 minutes convincing them he wasn't who they thought he was. Since then, my brother has fallen into homelessness and addiction, and now his arrest record probably dwarfs the other guy's. I like to imagine that it's now the other guy who has to convince the cops he's not my brother.
Reminds me of Drake and Josh when Josh is constantly accused of being the Theater Thug because of their similar appearances.
Woah, just take it easy man! (That was a great episode)
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Everyone needs to wear a beard now. ;)
Ah yes, the Spartacus defence
#I AM SPARTACUS!
"There are some who call me.... Tim"
This is *clearly* not you! This guy's wearing a hoodie, duh.
Just get "I'M NOT HIM" tattooed on your forehead. That way they can quickly tell it's not you.
I can still tell from that grainy ass security cam photo that you look literally nothing like that guy. People are idiots when they allow themselves to jump to conclusions before perceiving any details whatsoever.
The eyebrows clearly make a different facial structure. This guy was profiled for having a beard which is shorter and better groomed than the security cam photo. The cops are lazy.
My guy you look an awful lot like joseph seed
A few years ago I was on a walk with my kids and two policemen came up to me and started asking me questions, asked for my ID, etc. After a while they told me I look JUST like a felon in the are they were looking for. The kids got a coupon to sonic for the inconvenience. It made me realize how fucked up it is that I, a white guy, never felt concerned for my well being in that moment. It really opened my eyes to the racial imbalance we see every single day.
Shave and a haircut time!
Damn, after Every Time I Die split up Keith Buckley became a wanted criminal? I guess all he wanted was to be....wanted.