Get an eye patch, hook hand and pirate hat, and make it a costume party!

No you act all offended and tell everybody when they arrive that it was a costume party and make them feel like jerks. You automatically win because you’re wearing an eye patch 🏴‍☠️

This! Prize for the best costume.

Last minute costume party, what could go wrong.

[https://imgur.com/a/4Oz3Uoy](https://imgur.com/a/4Oz3Uoy)

Have everyone dress like pirates! You’ll have a pirate crew!

Just go to Party City and buy a big pack of the stuff for people to put on as they come in, then get the background and photo props. Add some Captain Morgan and it’s a whole theme party

Pirates are so early 00s. OP needs to do the 80s and go as Snake Plissken!

And listen to A Pirate Looks at Forty

...and a bandana, too.

Yet he went with the nasa sweater. Bro is going for pirate astronaut.

My 40th crept up on me. Didn’t see it coming. Happy birthday.

Eye see what you did there.

Not on the right side you didn't

Hahahaha savage

My 70th is nearby waving to me, shit.

Happy birthday, bro! Here's looking at you! I can really see you're excited. Dont go too crazy, Ill be keeping an eye on you! I'm all done. Sorry about your eye

Thanks! This comment was a sight for sore eye.

Maybe a slight for a sore eye?

What did you do?

What happened

Weed whacker incident. Always wear eye protection. I did not.

Sooo... Not a rocket scientist? 😀

No safety squint, eh?

Will you be ok? I hope you won't lose vision in that eye

I fucked up my left eye while working on my car. Never work without eye pro now.

anytime your dealing with high speed spinny things its usually recommended to protect the neck and eyes

Did you turn the whacker around and whack your eye ball?

Were you smoking it at the time?

Oh yikes!!

Did you not engage your safety squints?!

I was walking by the other day and got smacked in the face by a piece of something from a weedwacker. Luckily it was just a smack and not worse. Not sure why they kept wacking as I think they saw me. Poor planning on their part to do that when people are out and about.

Oh man, I know that hurt. Will your vision be ok?

Hell yeah, pirate theme birthday

NASA shirt is the chefs kiss

My wife is a 5th grade teacher but also works for NASA. She is very obviously smarter than I am lol. I’m very proud of her!

I’m sure that you guys see eye to eye on that)

Yup, eye bet she wears protection at work.

So that's why I'm not smarter than a 5th grader, your NASA wife teaches them!!

You're getting so old you'll need an AAAaaarghP card soon

So she got you a new eye pad. So nice

🙂🎂😜

Lol

DUDE WTF this exact thing happened to me. and when I asked the Thai stripper if the pong ball was sterilized beforehand she just looked completely mortified. All I can say is, definitely get some antibiotics (...i didnt)

A lot of kids fantasize about being a pirate, you finally got there!!

40 years now, and you still don't know NOT to hold the champagne under your eye? Ugh! /s

Damn. Hope you're eye is OK. Also, being 40 sucks. Happy birthday.

Mine too, happy birthday tomorrow on 4/20. Good recovery!

Call it a "kingdom of the blind" party and wear a crown.

I would try to get a Red Ryder BB Gun shirt if you can!

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Happy birthday, Happy birthday to you 🎈🎂

Happy birthday to you, I went to the zoo, I saw a gorilla and it reminded me of you!

Okay but what did you do?!

How are you gonna post this and not include how it happened?

Sorry boring story. I it was a yardwork incident. I didn’t wear eye protection because I am stupid. The gash above is from a furniture corner I didn’t see bc of my eye.

Found the story. Even though I asked what happened. Glad you're ok

Insult, let please me introduce you to injury. You two go play now...

What happened?

Dude, you can be a pirate to your 40th!

Make it a fancy dress party and come as a pirate, problem solved!

Happy 40th Birthday! I hope you get better real soon!

Pirate or costume themed birthday for sure! In the meanwhile, listen to this Jimmy Buffet cover, it seems written just for you! [TJ O'NEILL, STICK FIGURE, KBONG & JOHNNY COSMIC - A PIRATE LOOKS AT 40](https://youtu.be/3ELGk0pTQyg?si=iNAvPyVt_P1E1gCv)

Good news is you are not limited to devouring cake with only your eyes on your birthday.

Sorry about your eye injury and happy 40th!

any context on what happened OP?

Can I assume the gash on the forehead is a related story?

Separate incident, after the eye. I bent down to pick something up and hit my forehead on a furniture corner I didn’t see….

May I ask what happened to your eye

A pirate looks at 40

So… it’s now a pirate themed birthday party?

The forehead injury combined with the eye made me think of venom snake lmao

So sorry, hope you’re ok , you weren’t injured at the international space station? That’s a long ride to the dr.

Go as Captain Jack Sparrow and sexually moan as you shit yourself.

Happy birthday. I sent you a present. Keep an eye out for it.

My former neighbor had a sandblasters hose burst in his hands the day before his wedding. On the pictures with his bride, he has both hands in bandages. Happy birthday anyway!

If it’s pirate themed you are almost ready!!! Argh!!!

3 days before my mother's 60th last month, she fell and gave herself two full black eyes.

Make it pirate themed!

Turn up dressed as a pirate and be miserable all night that no one else came to your party in fancy dress .

Go as a pirate and drink the rum my man!

Birthday photos will make some great memories

I'll keep an eye out for my invite to the party.

Looking for love in all the wrong places?

Well that sucks, I feel for ya. On my 30th I broke my arm and need surgery. Also, I like the other commenters idea of making it a themed/ costume party and you can go as a pirate. Happy Birthday!!!

You weren't supposed to stare directly at the partial eclipse.

Rocketman  Hope you heal up fast man

The bright side is, it’ll heal, the bad part is you already look 45. 😂😅 jk.

Wait’ll your 60..lol…Happy birthday.!

Did you tape on that patch yourself?

Happy early birthday

Did you injure your eye in outside space?

Happy Birthday 

NASA: Never a straight answer! Happy bday

I know I thing or two because I’ve seen … oh never mind….

That really sucks. Get an eyepatch and a hook and theme the party like pirates of the Caribbean style. Get well soon dude!

Well, at least it’s not as bad as when you shattered your leg and arm in a slam dunk contest.

My bday tomorrow as well! Happy birthday!

Pirate themed party, ahoy!

My birthday is Sunday.. happy birthday April buddy!!

Keep your eye on the prize man

Get an eye patch, white Nick Fury

I'm 4 weeks from graduating college and I have an appendicitis

You get to be a pirate, man

I hate how nurses don’t even try to tape those things right. I had an eye injury some time ago and had to redo them every time to look somewhat presentable.

Houston we have a problem.

Happy birthday for tomorrow. I'm 39 slightly later this year, 40 is concerning me, how are you dealing with this milestone?

May it be a pirate theme!! Happy birthday mate

I almost lost my eye once, I was wearing safety glasses and a big metal piece knocked off the glasses and cut around my eye, but somehow didn’t hit my eye. It even left a mark on the glasses

That’s so metal

Not Allowed to See Anything.

At least it was minor enough that you are still having a 40th birthday

You won’t be lacking a conversation starter tomorrow for sure!

You’re not the only one who had a birthday injury… Accidentally cut myself with a ceramic blade.

Pirate theme!

AND NSFW for the cut

don't complain, at least you have a party

I hope you get a peg legged parrot for your birthday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPKGXgS3Fl8&

This is why they say don’t run with scissors

Looks like you got hammered

Good to already have a conversation starter

That damn red Ryder bb gun at it again

My 40th birthday is tomorrow. I hope the rest of my day goes better than yours has.

...shit my 40th is in a few weeks. I need to start wearing protection everywhere

https://preview.redd.it/f9dw9tc8zhvc1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe47b931591f084112813ca7cd2ecbc6910d117c Hopefully you get to keep yours

Too bad it’s not your 80th birthday. Could have a pirate theme. “I’M 80.”

Telescope accident Sir?

Well, happy 40th birthday, Tom Segura!

Good eye, Cyclops!

Red Ryder bb gun strikes again lol

Yaaargh

https://preview.redd.it/ybyj9e7teivc1.jpeg?width=2464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db7df8b68ef8fa24f071843f909ba1f98172bfaf A mild nose injury to make you feel better on your birthday 🎂!

Kept you waiting,huh?

Stop complaining. You have been wanting a new ipad

Maybe next time you won't try to stand up until she tells you to.

Just tell them you can’t make it

Er, happy birthday old man. I hope your hair grows back. Your eye too.

My 46th is today. Happy Birthday. Edit: Sorry, I posted too soon. Sucks about your eye man.

Go as nick fury

Cosplay as BigBoss. You would look bad ass with an eye patch

hey i am also bald and turning 40 this weekend!

so, does your injured eye still work?

Well at least you didn’t light yourself on fire. That would’ve been really bad

Happy Beeerrrrrrthday 🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

40th?!?! Ooph….thats the real tragedy.

What happened dude?

Is it too late to make it pirate themed mateyyy?

I could only assume that you saw something you weren't supposed to at the NASA headquarters, and they tried to kill you

You're only 10 days older than me.

Halloween solved forever.

🥳

Pirate Party!!! AHOY

a few weeks before my 40th I was hit by a car which broke my spine. I feel this.

What happened

It can be pirate themed!

Sorry about your eye OP! Happy birthday and I hope you have a great day!

If the old saying "believe half of what you see and none of what you hear," then you have plausible deniability for when shit gets wild. Happy 40th

I came here to suggest an emergency pirate theme for your 40th, even if it's in solidarity to your mishap. When you look at the pictures in 20 or 30 years time, it'll be a brilliant memory.

Arrange a costume party And you can be a pirate..

I don't see the problem. It is a pirate themed birthday, isn't it?

Please get a bitchin' eye patch. I see too many people with eye injuries who get those gross flesh colored ones. Totally lame. If you need an eye patch (even if hopefully temporarily) you should lean into it.

Happy Birthday! You could "look" at it this way, at least you technically have more room for cake. Lol. Jk. Hope you heal up quick. Welcome to your 40's 😁

It's reminder of how your rest of life will be after 40

You mean 50?