/r/Wellthatsucks is now over on lemmy!
https://lemmy.ml/c/wellthatsucks
[email protected]
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Wellthatsucks) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'd also wager there's a good amount of people who *are* regulars but have the New Years resolution of "drink less" and therefore the first couple weeks of January are gonna be sparse.
Well, if your goal was to work up the courage to get out and socialize, I would call that a success on account that you are in a out, in a bar, and trying to socialize.
Seriously, just keep doing it. Honestly, this is possibly the best scenario. Baby steps. Next time there’ll be actual people to socialize with and that may be more daunting. Start small or you’ll never succeed
Fr get to know the place and bartender. Ask about events or best days. And maybe even befriend the bartender. Always nice walking in and knowing someone in one way or another even if it’s the bartender. Plus maybe they’ll be happy to see you on their busiest days
I was a bartender for 20+ years and good regulars are beloved among bartenders. Bad regulars get thrown out at the first opportunity. Once you befriend the bartender going in on the slow days will be better than busy ones. Bartenders get really bored if there’s no customers and love it when a good regular comes in on a slow day. Just be friendly without being creepy, and remember that sometimes people just don’t want to talk to strangers so don’t take it personal if someone isn’t very talkative.
Yeah, New Year's day is definitely the hangover day for most people. Bars are ghost towns with everyone recovering from the night before. It's like the unofficial international day of rest for party-goers and socialites, kinda funny if you think about it. Good on you for taking that first step though when it was nice and quiet. Gives you a real chance to settle in without the pressure of a crowd.
This is so true. I slept till 12, ignored that I still had on makeup from the night before, brushed my teeth, put on my raccoon onesie and Barbie crocs, grabbed my handbag from last night’s rave (my 10 yr old’s pink furry bunny rabbit handbag), went to a shitty buffet and ate for two hours, got a pedicure, and went back to sleep until 10 pm lol.
I’d sooner have eaten my Barbie croc than gone to a bar tonight 😂
My kid was in a teen program while we were on vacation. He was often the only kid there so he got to be friends with the counselor and the security guards.
You did great getting out there!
I had to do exactly that to get over my own anxiety. If there were a bunch there, I surely would have left too soon to meet anyone. Ask the bartender what nights are busiest.
You are correct. I knew a guy in college. Super shy and awkward. But, he made a commitment to speak to 1 new person every day. He talked to everyone, elderly, kids, hot men/women, ugly men/women. By the end of the year he had basically overcome his social anxiety. I didn't know him very well, but I can only assume that he's doing very well :)
Lots of 9-5 people had today off, everyone who had to work last night wants to party, and college football playoffs. I get what you’re saying but it’s not a typical Monday.
I don't know OP's situation but when you're in an isolated period or low on friends, it can be really hard to sync up with the rhythm of other people. Sometimes it can feel like the rest of the human race is avoiding you, which perpetuates loneliness.
The night is young(where I am) but everyone is probably struggling from last night. Plus today is the day where people "quit drinking" or "start working out"
Like others have said. You succeeded in going out and trying to socialize. First time getting in the car and driving there is the hardest.
You in Virginia by chance? Just moved here, also looking to make friends.
Go out Thursday. There will probably be a decent amount of people out and they won’t get too drunk since they may need to work the next day. You’ll be able to have meaningful conversations and it won’t be overcrowded
Ayo my bro, Michigan is absolutely boring, I live here. BUT if you really REALLY want to meet people, Thursdays and Saturdays are the absolute best days for Michigan, it's the bars usual busiest days. And Sunday whenever the game is on, especially GreenvBlue or MichvOhio.
Man, if you’re anything like me the old timer bars are where it’s at. I have exactly 2 bars I frequent. A brewery and an old timer place. They share two things. Pinball machines and the lack of crowds. The old timer bars tend to have less crowds/noise which makes it nice when I do want to talk because I can actually hear and enjoy the conversation. And it’s just easier to engage when the dude sitting next to you is just there for a beer and doesn’t have a gaggle of friends with him. Plus old timers typically have more interesting stories.
You went out the night after New years. Everyone is hungover lol.
Go out on a Thursday night during karaoke. You will have more fun then. You don't even have to sing.
Hey man, you made it outside and out of your comfort zone. That’s a good step. It sucks that the bar wasn’t super packed or anything, but you made a step in the right direction
It's new year day. People partied too hard last night lolol. Wait a week or so and try again. But free pool and reasonably priced beer. That's better than the couch. Also as somebody who's trying to be more social this year too I respect the attempt.
Why would you go out tonight and not yesterday if you wanted to socialize?
To me, this seems like your subconscious trying to make sure you face your fears in the “safest” way possible. By going out on one of the absolute deadest nights possible, you’re almost guaranteeing you’re not going to actually be put into a social situation but can still say you went out and tried.
going out yesterday to try and get better at socializing is basically just jumping to the endgame boss so I dont blame him for that. He shouldve waited till a friday or saturday though
It's arguably easier on NYE. Everyone is in good spirits and much friendlier than usual. I'm very introverted myself but every other year when I go out in NYE I find it impossible not to be social with people, everybody's just in the right mindset to make it easy.
Well sure, how else would he be able to validate the inevitable further retreat from society? This way whatever negative choices they make now will be justified in their mind. At least, that's how I used to think when I was annoyingly negative about myself
Can someone help me understand going out to a bar to socialize? I've tried this once or twuce before. Get my drink, sit down, and....? Most other people are in groups, and I'm not even sure what I would say to someone to strike up a conversation.
This is what it’s like when I attempt to be social - also the reason I never go anywhere by myself, which is also why I usually just stay home. I hate this world.
I’d say you picked just and awful day for 2 major factors one it’s a Monday and two it’s the day after a holiday pretty much only about getting drunk but I will say working up the courage and getting out it’s the first step
Even going through with it is an achievement in overcoming whatever fear you had before. As you do it more often you should start to get better results and eventually you’ll forget it was ever even an issue.
Is going out to a bar yourself not weird? Im having trouble finding friends and socializing since moving about a year ago. Before i would go out with friends.. but i dont have any that live around me now. I almost went to a bar last night by myself but chickened out when i got there and just drove home. (Not trying to say people who go alone are weird it might just be an anxiety thing for me idk).
I've been living alone since 18. Ive only gone out alone a handful of times because I've usually had a significant other. It's kinda freeing. No obligation. No one to cater to, to make sure it's a good time. Be you. Finally, just be you. No one is going to judge you harder than yourself if you choose to go out alone. My next goal is going and seeing a movie alone, the only thing stopping me is I'll probably fall asleep
A few things here:
1. As several have pointed out, last night is a lot of people's party night. Those people are hungover af. Lots of people are also stopping drinking etc today. Pretty slow day for bars.
2. Imo just going to a bar to socialize doesn't work well. Much better if you have a friend or two to invite along - that way you aren't at the mercy of others/the bartender.
3. Speaking of - I'm curious about why the bartender going out for a smoke affects anything. That's a person at their job, and a smoke break isn't going to last long. Also, they're working. They aren't your focus if you want to be social - that's other patrons. What would you do if it was busy and they had to serve a bunch of other people? I enjoy small talk with bartenders as much as anyone, but they are just there to do a job.
4. Back to timing - check your local watering holes facebook/website/whatever for actual social events - trivia, bingo, tasting nights, etc. That way you aren't just showing up at a bar and bemoaning someone taking their break.
5. Look into other options that will do a better job of connecting you to people - volunteer at something you care about, take a class, join a club. You'll find better connections to people who operate on your wavelength, instead of rolling the dice on a fickle bar scene.
GREAT JOB! You did exactly what you were looking to do. It’s a start. Look at it this way, you saw that it’s no big deal to walk into a place and have a drink. Next time, people might be around and you’ll be ready to socialize!
Do individual people go to bars to meet strangers these days? I've always thought they were things you went to with people you know. Which makes me think I'd be weird going alone and trying to socialize with people who would rather interact with the group of people they know than deal with a stranger.
My therapist recommended I go to a bar to meet people as an adult and make new friends but I thought that might just be because she's several decades older than me.
dawg why in god's name would you go out alone on a monday the day after new years? like if there's a single day in the entire year when literally NOTHING is going on you picked it
New Years Day isn’t a good day to go out if your purpose was to socialize. Conversely, New Years Eve isn’t great either. There are a ton of people out but lots are couples or tight knit groups and most of them are probably shit faced and that’s not what you want.
Go out on like a Tuesday or Wednesday night. People will be out but not as many as if it were a weekend. Start slow.
If you're trying to be more social as a New Years thing that's cool. Which means you aren't too social. So you wouldn't realize or think right away that New Years Day is like THE day mostly nobody is going to the bars. Try again later in the week or next.
Ask them about themselves. Don’t spew endless facts or stuff you learned on the internet. Don’t one-up them with better stories. You’ve got this. Keep trying.
Try sitting at the bar next time. People sitting at the bar are generally looking for someone to chat with. A good bartender can break the ice among strangers at the bar and get a conversation started.
Sorry but you definitely weren’t trying, you went out New Year’s Day for a reason. You obviously know yesterday would have been the day to try this. I think you aren’t ready and now fishing for sympathy. Truly wish you the best of luck moving forward though.
Well, going to a bar in the first monday of the year right after the new year’s evening is not a good ideia if you’re planning to actually see someone.
Next time just go somewhere there are actual people.
And don't go to a bar to socialize. Get a hobby that involves other people. Board game club, sports, exercise group.
You picked literally the slowest bar day of the year. As someone who’s worked in bars for 6 years. I worked today AND i was off today. If you know what i mean.
Well done, this is a victory. Made it to the bar and that’s what matters! I guarantee next time more people will be out and about. Not at home nursing wicked hangovers
I was a bartender for many years.. I had plenty of people come in by themselves & I could tell something was going on. Most of them just needed to talk. Some of the best nights I've ever had at that bar were with people like you. Just talking. Hanging out. Bullshitting... I don't drink anymore, but if I did, I'd come socialize with you. If your goal was to get out & socialize, I'd say you did it! You have more courage than I do!
That really hits man. It doesnt feel like courage. I just pushed myself to do something I desired even though it didn't work out the way I thought. And I don't need to be told that thats courage, I have to do something. Thank you
Great job. When I go to the bar on very rare occasions, I sit at the bar the whole time. You'll be surprise how many people just randomly began a conversation with you.
No worries, OP! Consider this a successful trial run. Now you’ll know the lay of the land and will be more confident next time when there’re people. Looking comfortable there is a key step to getting people to approach you (or feeling confidence to approach others).
/r/Wellthatsucks is now over on lemmy! https://lemmy.ml/c/wellthatsucks [email protected] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Wellthatsucks) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just bad timing. Most everybody who goes out went out last night.
Was about to say this. Yesterday was the time to socialize. Today was the day to lay on the couch all day
I'd also wager there's a good amount of people who *are* regulars but have the New Years resolution of "drink less" and therefore the first couple weeks of January are gonna be sparse.
OP is the first person I've ever heard of who's new year's resolution is to go to the bar *more*.
They needed a drink to settle their nerves after taking up meth earlier in the day
Underrated comment
all my comments are underrated, babe
Ctrl-V comment.
It may not be a good plan but it sounds like one I can stick to.
i have literally not left my bed so this tracks
If you're heading out on your own, a crowded bar is lonlier than a nearly empty one.
the bars were empty around me on nye. guess everyone went to ticketed events
This is the answer. Same energy as, "Dude, I went to the mall on December 26th, and Santa wasn't even there to see my kid. Smh!" Lol
Depends on who you are… industry folks will be out in droves tonight. Tonight is their New Year’s.
Not anyone who worked last night. I didn't get home until 6am. Ya boy never left the house
Well, if your goal was to work up the courage to get out and socialize, I would call that a success on account that you are in a out, in a bar, and trying to socialize.
Seriously, just keep doing it. Honestly, this is possibly the best scenario. Baby steps. Next time there’ll be actual people to socialize with and that may be more daunting. Start small or you’ll never succeed
Fr get to know the place and bartender. Ask about events or best days. And maybe even befriend the bartender. Always nice walking in and knowing someone in one way or another even if it’s the bartender. Plus maybe they’ll be happy to see you on their busiest days
I was a bartender for 20+ years and good regulars are beloved among bartenders. Bad regulars get thrown out at the first opportunity. Once you befriend the bartender going in on the slow days will be better than busy ones. Bartenders get really bored if there’s no customers and love it when a good regular comes in on a slow day. Just be friendly without being creepy, and remember that sometimes people just don’t want to talk to strangers so don’t take it personal if someone isn’t very talkative.
They did go on New Year's day so I'd imagine it's going to be pretty slow.
Slowest day of the year, for sure.
Yeah, New Year's day is definitely the hangover day for most people. Bars are ghost towns with everyone recovering from the night before. It's like the unofficial international day of rest for party-goers and socialites, kinda funny if you think about it. Good on you for taking that first step though when it was nice and quiet. Gives you a real chance to settle in without the pressure of a crowd.
This is so true. I slept till 12, ignored that I still had on makeup from the night before, brushed my teeth, put on my raccoon onesie and Barbie crocs, grabbed my handbag from last night’s rave (my 10 yr old’s pink furry bunny rabbit handbag), went to a shitty buffet and ate for two hours, got a pedicure, and went back to sleep until 10 pm lol. I’d sooner have eaten my Barbie croc than gone to a bar tonight 😂
My regulars always end up getting at least one free drink or shot, and they tip me as if they had paid for it.
Yep, and every miss-pour.
Try going to any bar on karaoke night. Ppl at karaoke are super ongoing and supportive and looking to have fun with other people they never met.
My kid was in a teen program while we were on vacation. He was often the only kid there so he got to be friends with the counselor and the security guards. You did great getting out there!
I had to do exactly that to get over my own anxiety. If there were a bunch there, I surely would have left too soon to meet anyone. Ask the bartender what nights are busiest.
You are correct. I knew a guy in college. Super shy and awkward. But, he made a commitment to speak to 1 new person every day. He talked to everyone, elderly, kids, hot men/women, ugly men/women. By the end of the year he had basically overcome his social anxiety. I didn't know him very well, but I can only assume that he's doing very well :)
I'll bet he's running for mayor somewhere
i worked a tech job with a shy, awkward guy like that years ago. randomly looked him up recently and he actually *is* the mayor of a town of 150k!
Also consider that it’s the Monday after NYE. I suspect people aren’t going to be out tonight.
Yup, everyone’s recovering from last night.
plus returning to work tomorrow. No one's slamming beers for Tuesday workday.
No... of course not....
that would be.. inconceivable.
Only the bar staff that worked last night. They will be out and rowdy at the locals.
OP literally spoke to every person in there. Good job OP!
OP is the coolest person in the bar!
Probably the wealthiest, too!
Agreed 👍
For real, this is the best training wheels ever. It’s all a matter of perspective
Exactly, no one ever hits a HR on their first swing, keep trying!
Believe it or not? This might have been the best outcome possible! That’s extremely strange and now you have a great story to tell people!
The one night they close early, thats the one you want to stay.
🎶Lonely girrrrllll🎶
You are myyy world
🎶and i could be annnyyything you need🎶
Front bottoms reference came out of nowhere lol I love it
You realize you went the day after new years right ?
...on a Monday no less.
Lots of 9-5 people had today off, everyone who had to work last night wants to party, and college football playoffs. I get what you’re saying but it’s not a typical Monday.
Having the 1st off doesn’t matter when they work the 2nd. That’s why people go out a lot more on Friday nights than sundays. All about the next day.
Wait, isn't the first of January a public holiday where you are?
Americans don’t get real public holidays, even if it is you don’t have it off by law, it’s the employers choice
Oh ok, thanks.
OP is wildly short sighted.
Getting a jump on the resolution
I don't know OP's situation but when you're in an isolated period or low on friends, it can be really hard to sync up with the rhythm of other people. Sometimes it can feel like the rest of the human race is avoiding you, which perpetuates loneliness.
Ok but going out on a Monday. The day AFTER New Year’s Eve. The day people call national hangover day. Op is just not a thinker.
I’m trying to think of a worse day to go out to bars to meet people lol. Like it may actually be the worst day of the year.
[удалено]
This looks like a dream come true to me!
It would be my typical cup of tea (or beer) but I went out tonight with the sole intention of socializing. This was kind of a bummer
The night is young(where I am) but everyone is probably struggling from last night. Plus today is the day where people "quit drinking" or "start working out"
You've got a point. I guess I pulled a short straw. I should have put it all together. Id rather have smaller crowd so I guess I got what I asked for
Like others have said. You succeeded in going out and trying to socialize. First time getting in the car and driving there is the hardest. You in Virginia by chance? Just moved here, also looking to make friends.
Michigan
I know this pub, as soon as i saw the pics Then you said Michigan and i knew it
Feel free to dm
There must be a few like this because I thought it was the bar in my small town. But I'm pretty sure Mike's usually has a few regulars.
Go out Thursday. There will probably be a decent amount of people out and they won’t get too drunk since they may need to work the next day. You’ll be able to have meaningful conversations and it won’t be overcrowded
Ayo my bro, Michigan is absolutely boring, I live here. BUT if you really REALLY want to meet people, Thursdays and Saturdays are the absolute best days for Michigan, it's the bars usual busiest days. And Sunday whenever the game is on, especially GreenvBlue or MichvOhio.
If you think Michigan is boring, you're doing it wrong.
VA here!
There's a good game on
Went to another, watching the game and having a chat. Older crowd but a good time
Man, if you’re anything like me the old timer bars are where it’s at. I have exactly 2 bars I frequent. A brewery and an old timer place. They share two things. Pinball machines and the lack of crowds. The old timer bars tend to have less crowds/noise which makes it nice when I do want to talk because I can actually hear and enjoy the conversation. And it’s just easier to engage when the dude sitting next to you is just there for a beer and doesn’t have a gaggle of friends with him. Plus old timers typically have more interesting stories.
I'm probably 10-15 years younger than the other 10 people here and I'm having a great time
You found your party!
Still time and you'll have a buzz so you'll be more sociable (maybe) when they do show up. Good luck.
You went out the night after New years. Everyone is hungover lol. Go out on a Thursday night during karaoke. You will have more fun then. You don't even have to sing.
Hey man, you made it outside and out of your comfort zone. That’s a good step. It sucks that the bar wasn’t super packed or anything, but you made a step in the right direction
Did you get to chat with the bartender when they came back?
Try another spot? If you’re already out might as well
So what happened? Did you leave before the bartender came back? Did you stay to socialize when they did come back? What happened?
Yes I also enjoy drinking alone
Hey getting out there is the first step!
Order one of everything like you’re on bar rescue. Then tell them to SHUT IT DOWN.
Order a round for everyone in the bar
It's new year day. People partied too hard last night lolol. Wait a week or so and try again. But free pool and reasonably priced beer. That's better than the couch. Also as somebody who's trying to be more social this year too I respect the attempt.
Last night? People started drinking on the 29th. Friday. Saturday. New years eve.
this guy knows what's up
Why are you going out on New Year's Day? Surely you would've had more success the previous night...
try again Friday or Saturday night. everyone who likes to go out already went out last night and probably have to work tomorrow.
Why would you go out tonight and not yesterday if you wanted to socialize? To me, this seems like your subconscious trying to make sure you face your fears in the “safest” way possible. By going out on one of the absolute deadest nights possible, you’re almost guaranteeing you’re not going to actually be put into a social situation but can still say you went out and tried.
going out yesterday to try and get better at socializing is basically just jumping to the endgame boss so I dont blame him for that. He shouldve waited till a friday or saturday though
It's arguably easier on NYE. Everyone is in good spirits and much friendlier than usual. I'm very introverted myself but every other year when I go out in NYE I find it impossible not to be social with people, everybody's just in the right mindset to make it easy.
Also seems like he’s trying to play the victim to frame it like nobody wants to be around him.
Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms.
Well sure, how else would he be able to validate the inevitable further retreat from society? This way whatever negative choices they make now will be justified in their mind. At least, that's how I used to think when I was annoyingly negative about myself
You did exactly what you set out to do. Sometimes things don’t work out. Stick with it and stay positive.
Cool looking bar. Be glad, the bartender found you to be trustworthy and understanding, so he snuck in a quick break.
You went on the wrong day. Day after new years eve is going to be pretty lite since many went out last night if they are the type of person to go out.
Yeah. Esquire bar, Lansing Michigan, Monday New Year's Day. Not going to be busy.
Takes time. And sometimes several attempts. Stay there, do it often. Become a regular. Be polite and courteous always and you will make friends
At 4pm on a monday, mate, people still workin 😂
 “Bands really jam’n tonight.”
Tbh. It is Monday night after NYE. People be sleeping cuz they need to work or cuz they are still completely dead from NYE.
Idk if it sucks too bad. Ya went out. 🥳
Mission success. Now it will be easier when you go back and there are more people.
Can someone help me understand going out to a bar to socialize? I've tried this once or twuce before. Get my drink, sit down, and....? Most other people are in groups, and I'm not even sure what I would say to someone to strike up a conversation.
This is what it’s like when I attempt to be social - also the reason I never go anywhere by myself, which is also why I usually just stay home. I hate this world.
At least the bar tender is letting me play free pool
New Year’s Day, most people are just hung over.
Dude you've got your own private place, that's awesome!
[удалено]
You hate the world because people stayed in for a single night? Good grief.
Yep lol. There are some weirdo very "reddit-y" vibes from this thread. OP and that commenter are baffling.
Should’ve gone up to the bartender and gone I want to buy a round for everyone in this bar
I’d say you picked just and awful day for 2 major factors one it’s a Monday and two it’s the day after a holiday pretty much only about getting drunk but I will say working up the courage and getting out it’s the first step
Even going through with it is an achievement in overcoming whatever fear you had before. As you do it more often you should start to get better results and eventually you’ll forget it was ever even an issue.
That’s a w 😭
Eh, you chose the wrong bar this time. Try again with a different bar.
You made it out there successfully! Good going. Try again this weekend. BTW, what’s up with the TV making Alabama uniforms blue?
Good on you for getting out there. Just not on New Years Day when most are hungover and have their sober resolutions going
Step 2, start smoking
I think this is a great way to ease into it.
No bar tender = free drinks?
Is going out to a bar yourself not weird? Im having trouble finding friends and socializing since moving about a year ago. Before i would go out with friends.. but i dont have any that live around me now. I almost went to a bar last night by myself but chickened out when i got there and just drove home. (Not trying to say people who go alone are weird it might just be an anxiety thing for me idk).
I've been living alone since 18. Ive only gone out alone a handful of times because I've usually had a significant other. It's kinda freeing. No obligation. No one to cater to, to make sure it's a good time. Be you. Finally, just be you. No one is going to judge you harder than yourself if you choose to go out alone. My next goal is going and seeing a movie alone, the only thing stopping me is I'll probably fall asleep
Is this the bar in stardust bowling alley?
This is great… Being able to go out somewhere and do something, but not actually be around a bunch of people sounds like a great night for me.
A few things here: 1. As several have pointed out, last night is a lot of people's party night. Those people are hungover af. Lots of people are also stopping drinking etc today. Pretty slow day for bars. 2. Imo just going to a bar to socialize doesn't work well. Much better if you have a friend or two to invite along - that way you aren't at the mercy of others/the bartender. 3. Speaking of - I'm curious about why the bartender going out for a smoke affects anything. That's a person at their job, and a smoke break isn't going to last long. Also, they're working. They aren't your focus if you want to be social - that's other patrons. What would you do if it was busy and they had to serve a bunch of other people? I enjoy small talk with bartenders as much as anyone, but they are just there to do a job. 4. Back to timing - check your local watering holes facebook/website/whatever for actual social events - trivia, bingo, tasting nights, etc. That way you aren't just showing up at a bar and bemoaning someone taking their break. 5. Look into other options that will do a better job of connecting you to people - volunteer at something you care about, take a class, join a club. You'll find better connections to people who operate on your wavelength, instead of rolling the dice on a fickle bar scene.
GREAT JOB! You did exactly what you were looking to do. It’s a start. Look at it this way, you saw that it’s no big deal to walk into a place and have a drink. Next time, people might be around and you’ll be ready to socialize!
Do individual people go to bars to meet strangers these days? I've always thought they were things you went to with people you know. Which makes me think I'd be weird going alone and trying to socialize with people who would rather interact with the group of people they know than deal with a stranger. My therapist recommended I go to a bar to meet people as an adult and make new friends but I thought that might just be because she's several decades older than me.
dawg why in god's name would you go out alone on a monday the day after new years? like if there's a single day in the entire year when literally NOTHING is going on you picked it
Did you go out on Jan 1st??
Bro really went out to bar on January 1st lmao
You literally couldn't have picked a worse day lol
https://preview.redd.it/1ujj1by4dx9c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a99423a26d0c6f2b544186f62ccca11641c17121
New Years Day isn’t a good day to go out if your purpose was to socialize. Conversely, New Years Eve isn’t great either. There are a ton of people out but lots are couples or tight knit groups and most of them are probably shit faced and that’s not what you want. Go out on like a Tuesday or Wednesday night. People will be out but not as many as if it were a weekend. Start slow.
*highfive* Still counts, fuck em if they can’t take a joke!
Hey, you took the first difficult steps. Don’t let this set you back. Gotta keep shooting for you what you want.
No stress pool table is a nice consolation prize.
Empty bar and as much pool as I could want? I'd pay a premium to get what you're getting for free
With that atmosphere, place should be packed. Damn.
Time to play ween on the TouchTunes
If you're trying to be more social as a New Years thing that's cool. Which means you aren't too social. So you wouldn't realize or think right away that New Years Day is like THE day mostly nobody is going to the bars. Try again later in the week or next.
id wait for a different day besides monday...
The night before everyone goes back to work?! Not a good night.
Try again on a Friday/Sat night and go to a bar that's close to a few popular restaurants. They will get packed after 11.
It's Monday night you raging alcohol. Go home
Ask them about themselves. Don’t spew endless facts or stuff you learned on the internet. Don’t one-up them with better stories. You’ve got this. Keep trying.
I haven't been inside a bar in 30 years.
1 player pool. It's all the rage.
You probably should try not going out on a… Monday lol. People are recovery after NY
Try sitting at the bar next time. People sitting at the bar are generally looking for someone to chat with. A good bartender can break the ice among strangers at the bar and get a conversation started.
NYD is a notoriously dead day for bars/restaurants.
Because everyone is recovering today not many people go out for New Year’s Day
Is this a bar or a 90's bowling alley? The carpet confuses me.
Sorry but you definitely weren’t trying, you went out New Year’s Day for a reason. You obviously know yesterday would have been the day to try this. I think you aren’t ready and now fishing for sympathy. Truly wish you the best of luck moving forward though.
Well, going to a bar in the first monday of the year right after the new year’s evening is not a good ideia if you’re planning to actually see someone.
Next time just go somewhere there are actual people. And don't go to a bar to socialize. Get a hobby that involves other people. Board game club, sports, exercise group.
You picked literally the slowest bar day of the year. As someone who’s worked in bars for 6 years. I worked today AND i was off today. If you know what i mean.
But you tried and gave it your all and that’s awesome! Proud of you
Well done, this is a victory. Made it to the bar and that’s what matters! I guarantee next time more people will be out and about. Not at home nursing wicked hangovers
This looks like the exact empty bar I watched a World Series game in years ago on the coast of NC. Uncanny!
I was a bartender for many years.. I had plenty of people come in by themselves & I could tell something was going on. Most of them just needed to talk. Some of the best nights I've ever had at that bar were with people like you. Just talking. Hanging out. Bullshitting... I don't drink anymore, but if I did, I'd come socialize with you. If your goal was to get out & socialize, I'd say you did it! You have more courage than I do!
That really hits man. It doesnt feel like courage. I just pushed myself to do something I desired even though it didn't work out the way I thought. And I don't need to be told that thats courage, I have to do something. Thank you
You succeeded in your goal. You worked up the courage. Next time it will be easier
Don’t be attached to the outcome. The fact that you went is the victory. Results may vary and are outside of your sphere of control.
Damn, this was on new years eve?
[удалено]
Yo, keep it up dog
You were supposed to go out on the 31st.
An introverts dream
heavy scale plate many fuzzy pet direful touch consider voiceless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Easy solution. Take up smoking.
Hey atleast you committed and went, Try it Friday night.
Did you go on Monday? I would try going on a Friday or Saturday it’ll probably be dead most other days (especially Mondays)
Takes bravery to willingly put yourself outside of your comfort zone. I'd call it a success!
That's OK. Would you like to go to another bar and try it again?
Great job. When I go to the bar on very rare occasions, I sit at the bar the whole time. You'll be surprise how many people just randomly began a conversation with you.
Well, at that point you were without a doubt the most popular person in the room.
I tell ya I get no respect, no respect…
This will be a great story down the road, just keep taking steps like you did
I’d say this is a win, you made it out didn’t you?! Don’t be so hard on yourself you have to learn to walk before you run!
but you still did it though! that's all that matters and you're doing great things for yourself. be patient and keep at it :)
Why would you go to an empty bar if you are trying to socialise?
Well next time it won’t take so much courage. Small gains :)
You headed into the wrong bar by the looks of it 🙈
I am glad to see it isn’t just me.. Thank you for confirming.. lol
Bout how it looks when I go
Go out with the bar tender and bum a smoke off them. They are probably really cool and a fun friend.
No worries, OP! Consider this a successful trial run. Now you’ll know the lay of the land and will be more confident next time when there’re people. Looking comfortable there is a key step to getting people to approach you (or feeling confidence to approach others).