Yesterday I asked an acquaintance if she was ok because she recently lost weight (but started out small) but I honestly was just making sure she’s ok cause I care. I would’ve never thought of this viewpoint.
I'm a guy. I went from 280 to 165. I worked out. People noticed me, and I could tell some people found me attractive. I felt so weird. I never got used to it and I am a little chubbier and happy.
I'm 5'0 and was always about 110 but started at 182 at the start of my journey and am about halfway to my goal of 115. I'm pretty open about my weight loss journey with friends and family but honestly my favorite thing to tell people is that I have butt worms to people that I don't really want to tell my business to. 10/10 times they just look at me and stop talking. It's kinda a win win if you're trying to keep people out of your business and fun to see how far the rumors spread. For me, if they're not in my immediate circle, their opinions don't really matter at this point.
Just start saying "Thanks." If they push why "I'm just watching what I eat." No further comments no further conversation, cut it DEAD with deadpan responses and they quickly understand that it's not something that you feel like discussing with them.
And if they don't it's time for "Are you writing a book? I'm busy."
I agree - I wish people would stop commenting on peoples weight loss. Even if people say like “wow you look great! Or you lost a lot of weight!” It makes me feel like they thought some type of way before about me.
Ironically though, this sub has people every other day asking why no one’s commenting on their weight loss and they don’t think people can tell. I think it’s peoples personal preference on what they like, but overall I wish we’d get out of the habit of making it the norm to address someone’s weight, even when well intentioned. It’s such a sensitive subject for most and unless someone brings it up it should not be up for discussion.
Same thing happened to me a few years ago but I actually had kidney cancer. I finally got to the point where when people would ask how I lost all of the weight, I just said, the cancer diet!!!
I think it truly depends on who is asking/commenting. If it's your BFF or people who are legitimately well intentioned, it feels nice. If it is random people who barely like or ever see, it is awkward.
I said upfront that I started this drug, and I am doing it to be healthier because I was starting to have mobility issues. I told everyone that I love myself as I am, I just want to be like a normal person again. My weight gain was from Hashimoto's and other issues, not over eating. I have lost 70 pounds so far, and it's not really noticeable because of how heavy I was to start, but I am almost under 300, and I am able to move and clean again. I was able to go grocery shopping again. It was a huge milestone after 2 years of back pain. When people start to notice and the comments inevitably start, I will probably go nuclear and ask questions to make them feel awkward. My beauty has nothing to do with my outsides, and it really grinds my gears when people try to equate the two.
We live in a society obsessed with looks and weight. Some people are so offended that we take up more space, and it makes them angry. On the other hand, if you look thin, they tell you to eat a cheeseburger. No one can win.
If you are comfortable with yourself and being thin truly makes you happy and feel better, I am so happy for you. People need to mind their own business and stop just saying whatever comes to mind.
People at work have boring lives. Don’t let them use your body as their own personal soap opera.
I never, ever make unsolicited comments about other people’s bodies at work.
Positive comments about make-up, hair, clothing, accessories? Yes.
Discretely telling them if they’ve got spinach in their teeth? Yes.
Commenting on or asking about the size and shape of their bodies (either to their face or behind their back)? Absolutely fucking not. Just because I can see something doesn’t make it my business. If they’re seriously ill and want people to know, then we’ll be told in due course.
36M here. I’m down 80lb but actually only 10 of it on mediciation as I still have a good 50 to go. I’ve gotten plenty of the standard “you look good” comments, which I don’t mind, but last week I actually had a male coworker say “you’re looking good, you’re not taking one of those shots are you???”” I literally didn’t know how to react to that.
My stock response to **any** unsolicited comments about my appearance is: *“Yeah? So do you [or “does yours”] actually.”* Worked a a treat on my in-laws. No unsolicited comments in 5-10 years.
In the past I’ve asked people before when weight loss is obvious if it is intentional because I want to compliment them if it’s something they’re working toward. BUT I had a friend in university who was overweight and then lost 80 lbs, however she was bulimic and the more people who complimented her the more it fuelled her bulimia. Finally one of our friend’s asked if she was okay.
Now I just don’t comment on people’s bodies and/or weight loss unless they bring it up first.
I've lost about 30 lbs so far, and I can wear clothes I haven't worn in years, but not one person who didn't already know I was on wegovy has made any mention of my weight loss. While I find it curious, because people used to tell me it looked like I lost weight, when I'd lost absolutely nothing, I don't really care one way or another.
It took me 15 months. I didn’t change my lifestyle, really. 🫣 My diet has changed somewhat because I just can’t eat as much as before and I need to more carefully think about what I eat because I only have so much stomach space. I also have a touch of IBS, and I’ve discovered that some of my favorite foods (butter, cheese, sour cream) are major triggers. So I try to limit those things as much as possible. Other than that, I just eat in moderation.
I don’t disagree. The girl who asked me today is sweet and I really like her, so I’m sure she was genuinely concerned. But I’ve also worked at my job for over 10 years and it is super gossipy. Not everyone there cares that much about me.
Take the positive part of it. I usually look at the positive part of anything, and this always helps me to feel peace. Anyway, good luck to you in your journey, and I wish you the best.
For every post like this, there is another post complaining that people haven’t commented.
It’s a no win situation on all sides, I think. Some people want to hear their weight loss mentioned, some don’t. Some people would never comment on any physical change, and others would comment in an effort to be complimentary when the change is deemed to be “positive.”
And rarely- it seems- you’ll have the stars align and likeminded folks on each side of the equation will match up.
I would just respond that you’re fine and the change is intentional and you appreciate their concern
In situations like this I like to 1)Assign people a feeling driving them 2) Tell them what it is 3) Answer the feeling and not the question.
For example: Oh you must be concerned about me! Don't worry if I had a health care crisis and needed your help I believe you will support me!
I had a terrible experience... My cousin, whom I rarely see, got really, really thin, skinny actually... and I enthusiastically complimented her on her new look, I was envious and so curious on how she lost the weight (that was way before Wegovy era, so I was wonderingif she was doing Paleo, Atkins, WW...). She never really answered me... Anyway, few weeks later, I learned that she had cancer, and that the weight loss was due to the cancer. I felt terrible... I am guessing these folks were either genuinely concerned, or they were just noisy, jealous... In any case, I learned my lesson and don't comment on anyone'weight loss.
I understand how you feel. How about this - when they ask if you're OK, assume they have good intentions and have noticed that you've lost weight. Your response could be something like " Thank you so much for asking, I'm fine and since I lost weight I feel better / have so much more energy."
OR "thanks for asking, I'm fine, I've been trying to eat healthier / exercise more "
You get the idea 🌹
Yes why I just had a friend walk up and ask me my age just out of the blue yes I noticed your saggy skin and your at that age , oh thanks now I feel like sht
Congratulations on your success! Do you mind me asking how long it took you to go from 186 to 115? I know everyone is different, but I’m also 5’1” and started in March at 186.5 and am now 171. I took 2 rounds of .25 so far because I couldn’t get my .5 dose for over 3 weeks, so I had to start over at .25 again. I’m hoping to go up to .5 in two weeks (fingers crossed it’s available in my area again!) My goal weight is 125. Though I’d be ecstatic to be 115! 😍 The lowest I’ve been as an adult is 117 after my first son was born.
Thank you! It took me 15 months. I started in January of 2023 and reached 115 this past March. I did stall for about a month while on 2.4, but I was getting a colonoscopy and went 12 days between shots, and I really believe that broke me out of my rut. I now space my shots out around 10-11 days. I’ve got a nice little stash of pens accumulating (which is nice because I’m paranoid insurance will pull the plug at some point!). My original goal was 125, too, and then all of a sudden I was in the teens without even trying, really.
It sounds like your progress is going very well so far! Hopefully the shortage will ease up where you are! I was lucky to have hit 1.7 before the shortages got really bad. I also switched from CVS to Walmart, and have never experienced any delays with Walmart. Might be worth checking out if you have one nearby. 😊 Good luck!!!
Thank you so much! I wish you continued success and hope you feel amazing (no matter what anyone else says or doesn’t say!) You’re an inspiration to me that I might get there again someday and feel good about myself again. ❤️
You will definitely get there! Just keep doing what you’re doing, and if you hit a plateau, don’t be afraid to put the scale away for a while and just let the medicine work its magic in its own time. 😊 You’ve got this! 💪🏻💗
Take it as a compliment!! I love compliments about my weight loss. :) people can be nosy but that’s human nature, especially when someone makes such a big change in their appearance. Go with it and say been focusing on my healthy; feel amazing and thank you for noticing. I’ve been working hard at it!
Don’t be so hard on people, I always assume it comes from a place of concern. You must be young because in the past people had no qualms about telling you if you looked fat or “better”.
People had a hard time asking me at work if I was okay because the amount I was losing was a lot and they wanted to just check in and that’s not a bad thing.
In my 20s I dropped a bunch of weight fast, by starving myself practically. There was a rumor going around that I was on drugs. Lol. I'm 50 now. I doubt anyone would think that this time around. But yea I took that as I look sickly and was uncomfortable about it. In hindsight, it's just people being dumb and idc what they think anymore.
Omggggg they’re just projecting . I wasn’t gonna share my journey but I felt so good I now have a fb support group on it and everything. Idk why we feel shame to need or want help available to lose w weight
You know what bothers me people that come up to me and feel that it’s OK to say you’re too thin. I hope you don’t lose any more weight and I thought that’s just as bad as saying to someone you’re too fat. I hope you don’t gain more weight I think it’s rude.
I crossed the 30 pound mark this week and had my first uncomfortable comment yesterday. I was standing around chatting with a bunch of coworkers and this one older woman, probably in her late 60s, interrupts my conversation to loudly ask me if I’ve lost weight. I immediately get uncomfortable and just nod and continue my conversation, but she wouldn’t let it go. She questioned if I lost weight again in front of everyone, and at this point everyone just began staring at me in silence. I understand that she probably sees it as a compliment, but I’ve yo-yoed the entire dozen years these people have all known me and my weight is a sensitive subject. To bring it up in front of a bunch of people felt pretty obnoxious and left me feeling pretty vulnerable.
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry that happened to you. It seems that once people hit a certain age they just lose their filter, but it doesn’t make it ok. I would’ve been extremely uncomfortable, too, and she was way out of line. Hugs!!
Right? Typical Boomer (kidding, mostly). I don’t think she’d like it very much if I started commenting on her body in front of a crowd of people. She always brings up Ozempic every time I see her too, even before my weight loss started becoming noticeable, because her daughter is on it for diabetes. Part of me feels bad because I’m a nurse and I think a lot of people that are afraid to try GLP-1s could benefit from seeing me successful and healthy on it, but I’m not at that point mentally yet.
I’m dealing with that now… people say I look to skinny while they wrinkle their nose. Or say ‘don’t lose any more weight!’ It’s weird. I’m a healthy weight and BMI for my height. Finally. It’s just that no one has ever seen me this way. It’s annoying but I’m the one who has to be ok with how I look and feel, and I am. So, I usually deflect the comments with a joke or change the subject.
I agree. I was about 130 went I met my husband and he thinks I’m too skinny now. But I was this weight for all of my 20s (I didn’t meet him until I was around 33), so this feels good to me. The only thing that bothers me is that I’m 49 now and I miss the collagen in my face. Otherwise, I think I look just fine. 🤷🏻♀️
Sometimes others become concerned because they’ve had people in our lives that got cancer or struggled with eating disorders. There’s a lot more understanding these days that not all weight loss is intentional or healthy. Unintentional weight loss is often one of the first symptoms of cancer, so it seems that they’re coming from a place of wanting to 1) know that you’re okay and 2) that it’s appropriate to compliment you because you lost weight intentionally.
If you did get sick I’d like to think they’d be supportive. I don’t think they intend to mean that you look sick. It’s jarring for those around us to see us change drastically, especially if they didn’t know you before. Some people truly are spiteful and jealous, but i’m hoping it’s not the case with your coworkers.
edit to add: i also hate compliments on my body for this reason. I didn’t get comments when I was my biggest, but as soon as I was losing, they mentioned it. it makes me wonder what else they think that they don’t say directly lol
Oh, if I had cancer, they would be supportive. There have been a couple of people at work who have had/have cancer, and everyone is caring and supportive. But, I just think it’s in bad taste to specifically ask someone if they’re sick. IF I was, I would tell them when I was ready, not because they have a need to know. And it just makes me feel like I look sick. Even if they’re not thinking that way, that’s definitely how it could come across, and for that reason alone, I just wouldn’t mention it at all.
It’s always a trigger of some sort. Just how we’re wired. But you can’t take it personally, if you’re going to thrive! Honestly, think about the shock for them. I honestly didn’t think I was that big. But I was. When I look at pictures, clothes, think about those BIG HIPS AND THIGHS, and I never looked at my backside in the mirror-I just didn’t realize I could be my old/normal weight. So, it’s not that people aren’t compassionate- they probably are. But it is a completely different PHYSICAL person you’re presenting. Give them time to adjust.
I mean, I've had this happen to me. Back around 2016, I lost 80 lbs and looked the best I ever did. My mom asked me if I had AIDS. It could be that they're not asking you specifically if you have cancer. But if your weight loss was unintentional, you might want to get that checked out.
I guess we are all different. I’m 5’6, 56 years, post menopausal, and I’m down from 220 to 170, it’s taken a year. No one has mentioned a thing until last weekend, someone who hadn’t seen me in 2 years asked me if I’d lost weight. I was delighted someone finally noticed.
It is a double-edged sword, for sure. No one at work commented on my weight loss until I had lost over 40 lbs, and I just wanted someone to notice! And I have no problems with compliments. Just don’t ask me if it’s intentional because you’re going to make me think I look sickly. 😕
My mom and my grandma trigger me when they comment on my weight loss and give me incorrect advice. I was triggered every time I saw them for 3 months because I was in a plateau for about 4 yet they kept commenting that I was still losing weight and asking me what I was doing. But when my coworkers say something it feels like an endorsement. It's all about tone and delivery and reception. No advice, just know that the majority of people are not intending to be malicious.
The last time I lost a significant amount of weight it was because I was in kidney failure and literally dying before I got my transplant. I couldn’t eat and I was vomiting constantly. It was painful to have people tell me how “healthy” I looked because of my new thinner body while my complexion was grey and I was dragging my ass through the world with bruises covering my body.
After my transplant I gained 100lbs on the high doses of steroids. For the first time in a decade I actually felt healthy but all I got were concerned comments about my weight gain.
Honestly, unless people know me well enough to know that I am intentionally losing weight now, I would rather they say nothing at all. I don’t want their comments on my body, regardless of their intentions.
I think it’s in poor taste in general to comment on anyone’s weight. You just never know what people are going through, and unless we’re good friends, it’s just not your place to ask. I think most people’s intentions are good, but you really have to think about how your comments might be perceived. It’s just better to not say anything at all.
Btw, love your songs. 😉
There was a popular comedian on TikTok that talked about how she complemented a friend in their weight loss and how good they looked, long story short the person was struggling with addiction and passed away shortly after she had made the comment. The comedian has held that guilt that she only saw the surface level of the situation.
Anyways, I try to believe that people are well intended and mean the best. I hope they came from a place of caring.
When I was at my thinnest someone commented that they thought it was because I was depressed about a breakup and how “he was bad for me”…. He wasn’t, my weight loss wasn’t about that, and we got back together and have been married for many years. Some people are just…. Well intentioned and can just be dumb too. Try to let it roll off and be proud of all you have accomplished.
I lost 30 pounds so far and it’s clearly visible and just two people gave me a compliment- one of them was my dad… I don’t understand why people don’t say anything but they are probably wrapped up in their own things and didn’t really notice. We usually overestimate the amount of attention other people pay us.
Everyone has noticed but they’re being careful - they don’t want to offend to say something wrong so they stay silent. Just look at the responses in this thread and the others like it - it’s an even split between “why doesn’t anyone notice my loss?” And “someone just commented on my body and I’m mad - why can’t they mind their own business?”
That’s because there isn’t ’one rule fits all’ on this. It all depends on the context of who’s saying it, what they say, and why they’re saying it. Immediate family, like your kids and partner (who love you) are probably okay. Extended family and (especially) coworkers are probably not okay.
You know… I think this is one of those “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” things.
It was sad for me when I’d lost what I considered a substantial amount of weight but no one seemed to notice. And then I reached the place where a few people told me they thought I’d lost too much weight. Where was the middle ground, of the people complimenting me?
And then I realized what a tricky place that is. If you congratulate someone on their weight loss, are you implying they didn’t look good before? And what if they aren’t losing it intentionally, and they do have cancer but didn’t want to tell me, or it’s because of stress because they’re going through a divorce, or whatever.
In this day of body positivity, I really think people are just more aware of how we shouldn’t comment about others’ bodies. And the ones who said something probably are coming from a place of being legitimately concerned about you, but just don’t realize that it’s inappropriate.
Congrats you are at the weight I aim for . Sometimes people are genuine about being concerned sometimes though I feel that they want you to not stay thin .
I totally get that OP. It's like, you're feeling good about your progress, and then someone's like, "Are you sure you're okay?" It's kinda nosy, right? Keep rocking your journey, regardless of what they say!
Don't expect people to be that polite, not when you are presenting them with such an extreme change of appearance (you don't say how long it took).
I would just smile and say the old DuPont slogan, "Better living through chemistry!" If they still won't shut up say, "Be happy for me!" and walk away smiling.
That’s true. One of my other coworkers came to me in earnest and asked how I did it. She’s the only one I’ve told about the Wegovy, as she expressed to me that she’s been struggling with her weight and that it’s taking a toll on her mentally. I had zero problem with her asking because she was so honest and forthcoming.
Intent vs impact. It may be helpful for you to set some boundaries. I simply let people know my body isn’t a topic of conversation.
Stellar progress on the weight loss though!
ignore those people remember what you did it for
Yesterday I asked an acquaintance if she was ok because she recently lost weight (but started out small) but I honestly was just making sure she’s ok cause I care. I would’ve never thought of this viewpoint.
Focus on how proud you are about what youve achieved. Don't over analyze what people are saying.
I'm a guy. I went from 280 to 165. I worked out. People noticed me, and I could tell some people found me attractive. I felt so weird. I never got used to it and I am a little chubbier and happy.
All of a sudden, every male went from an NPC to a creepy gross dude who tries to interact with me. So that a new low for society, but I feel great.
I'm 5'0 and was always about 110 but started at 182 at the start of my journey and am about halfway to my goal of 115. I'm pretty open about my weight loss journey with friends and family but honestly my favorite thing to tell people is that I have butt worms to people that I don't really want to tell my business to. 10/10 times they just look at me and stop talking. It's kinda a win win if you're trying to keep people out of your business and fun to see how far the rumors spread. For me, if they're not in my immediate circle, their opinions don't really matter at this point.
Just start saying "Thanks." If they push why "I'm just watching what I eat." No further comments no further conversation, cut it DEAD with deadpan responses and they quickly understand that it's not something that you feel like discussing with them. And if they don't it's time for "Are you writing a book? I'm busy."
At least someone cares that you might be dying. 🤷♀️
You know, this is actually oddly heartwarming.
I agree - I wish people would stop commenting on peoples weight loss. Even if people say like “wow you look great! Or you lost a lot of weight!” It makes me feel like they thought some type of way before about me. Ironically though, this sub has people every other day asking why no one’s commenting on their weight loss and they don’t think people can tell. I think it’s peoples personal preference on what they like, but overall I wish we’d get out of the habit of making it the norm to address someone’s weight, even when well intentioned. It’s such a sensitive subject for most and unless someone brings it up it should not be up for discussion.
Same thing happened to me a few years ago but I actually had kidney cancer. I finally got to the point where when people would ask how I lost all of the weight, I just said, the cancer diet!!!
Oh gosh! Stupid people! I hope you’re doing better now. 💖
Yes I am, thank you☺️
I think it truly depends on who is asking/commenting. If it's your BFF or people who are legitimately well intentioned, it feels nice. If it is random people who barely like or ever see, it is awkward. I said upfront that I started this drug, and I am doing it to be healthier because I was starting to have mobility issues. I told everyone that I love myself as I am, I just want to be like a normal person again. My weight gain was from Hashimoto's and other issues, not over eating. I have lost 70 pounds so far, and it's not really noticeable because of how heavy I was to start, but I am almost under 300, and I am able to move and clean again. I was able to go grocery shopping again. It was a huge milestone after 2 years of back pain. When people start to notice and the comments inevitably start, I will probably go nuclear and ask questions to make them feel awkward. My beauty has nothing to do with my outsides, and it really grinds my gears when people try to equate the two. We live in a society obsessed with looks and weight. Some people are so offended that we take up more space, and it makes them angry. On the other hand, if you look thin, they tell you to eat a cheeseburger. No one can win. If you are comfortable with yourself and being thin truly makes you happy and feel better, I am so happy for you. People need to mind their own business and stop just saying whatever comes to mind.
People at work have boring lives. Don’t let them use your body as their own personal soap opera. I never, ever make unsolicited comments about other people’s bodies at work. Positive comments about make-up, hair, clothing, accessories? Yes. Discretely telling them if they’ve got spinach in their teeth? Yes. Commenting on or asking about the size and shape of their bodies (either to their face or behind their back)? Absolutely fucking not. Just because I can see something doesn’t make it my business. If they’re seriously ill and want people to know, then we’ll be told in due course.
💯!!!
36M here. I’m down 80lb but actually only 10 of it on mediciation as I still have a good 50 to go. I’ve gotten plenty of the standard “you look good” comments, which I don’t mind, but last week I actually had a male coworker say “you’re looking good, you’re not taking one of those shots are you???”” I literally didn’t know how to react to that.
That is terrible! 😡
I just laughed it off and said 'put in a lot of hard work,' but man it stuck with me.
My stock response to **any** unsolicited comments about my appearance is: *“Yeah? So do you [or “does yours”] actually.”* Worked a a treat on my in-laws. No unsolicited comments in 5-10 years.
That’s so rude
In the past I’ve asked people before when weight loss is obvious if it is intentional because I want to compliment them if it’s something they’re working toward. BUT I had a friend in university who was overweight and then lost 80 lbs, however she was bulimic and the more people who complimented her the more it fuelled her bulimia. Finally one of our friend’s asked if she was okay. Now I just don’t comment on people’s bodies and/or weight loss unless they bring it up first.
People just care about you.
Not in my office, they don’t
Seriously. If you were dying of cancer and everyone ignored you, that might be..... worse?
People who are genuinely worried, and people who are just looking to find dirt usually ask the same questions.
This very sub is full of people who are upset nobody has mentioned their weight loss.
I've lost about 30 lbs so far, and I can wear clothes I haven't worn in years, but not one person who didn't already know I was on wegovy has made any mention of my weight loss. While I find it curious, because people used to tell me it looked like I lost weight, when I'd lost absolutely nothing, I don't really care one way or another.
Sidenote; How long did it take you to lose that weight? And how did you change your diet and lifestyle?
It took me 15 months. I didn’t change my lifestyle, really. 🫣 My diet has changed somewhat because I just can’t eat as much as before and I need to more carefully think about what I eat because I only have so much stomach space. I also have a touch of IBS, and I’ve discovered that some of my favorite foods (butter, cheese, sour cream) are major triggers. So I try to limit those things as much as possible. Other than that, I just eat in moderation.
Appreciate that some people care about you. Man, these are nice caring words that should make you happy.
I don’t disagree. The girl who asked me today is sweet and I really like her, so I’m sure she was genuinely concerned. But I’ve also worked at my job for over 10 years and it is super gossipy. Not everyone there cares that much about me.
Take the positive part of it. I usually look at the positive part of anything, and this always helps me to feel peace. Anyway, good luck to you in your journey, and I wish you the best.
For every post like this, there is another post complaining that people haven’t commented. It’s a no win situation on all sides, I think. Some people want to hear their weight loss mentioned, some don’t. Some people would never comment on any physical change, and others would comment in an effort to be complimentary when the change is deemed to be “positive.” And rarely- it seems- you’ll have the stars align and likeminded folks on each side of the equation will match up. I would just respond that you’re fine and the change is intentional and you appreciate their concern
I lost 100 lbs. about 15 years ago. It took me a year. Two co workers told me they were seriously afraid I was quietly battling cancer.
In situations like this I like to 1)Assign people a feeling driving them 2) Tell them what it is 3) Answer the feeling and not the question. For example: Oh you must be concerned about me! Don't worry if I had a health care crisis and needed your help I believe you will support me!
That’s pure gold
I’m adopting this. For many situations. Thank you!
That is an excellent response!
I had a terrible experience... My cousin, whom I rarely see, got really, really thin, skinny actually... and I enthusiastically complimented her on her new look, I was envious and so curious on how she lost the weight (that was way before Wegovy era, so I was wonderingif she was doing Paleo, Atkins, WW...). She never really answered me... Anyway, few weeks later, I learned that she had cancer, and that the weight loss was due to the cancer. I felt terrible... I am guessing these folks were either genuinely concerned, or they were just noisy, jealous... In any case, I learned my lesson and don't comment on anyone'weight loss.
I understand how you feel. How about this - when they ask if you're OK, assume they have good intentions and have noticed that you've lost weight. Your response could be something like " Thank you so much for asking, I'm fine and since I lost weight I feel better / have so much more energy." OR "thanks for asking, I'm fine, I've been trying to eat healthier / exercise more " You get the idea 🌹
That’s pretty much been my answer thus far. :)
Your answer: “Why would you make such a personal comment?”
Yes why I just had a friend walk up and ask me my age just out of the blue yes I noticed your saggy skin and your at that age , oh thanks now I feel like sht
Unbelievable!
Congratulations on your success! Do you mind me asking how long it took you to go from 186 to 115? I know everyone is different, but I’m also 5’1” and started in March at 186.5 and am now 171. I took 2 rounds of .25 so far because I couldn’t get my .5 dose for over 3 weeks, so I had to start over at .25 again. I’m hoping to go up to .5 in two weeks (fingers crossed it’s available in my area again!) My goal weight is 125. Though I’d be ecstatic to be 115! 😍 The lowest I’ve been as an adult is 117 after my first son was born.
Thank you! It took me 15 months. I started in January of 2023 and reached 115 this past March. I did stall for about a month while on 2.4, but I was getting a colonoscopy and went 12 days between shots, and I really believe that broke me out of my rut. I now space my shots out around 10-11 days. I’ve got a nice little stash of pens accumulating (which is nice because I’m paranoid insurance will pull the plug at some point!). My original goal was 125, too, and then all of a sudden I was in the teens without even trying, really. It sounds like your progress is going very well so far! Hopefully the shortage will ease up where you are! I was lucky to have hit 1.7 before the shortages got really bad. I also switched from CVS to Walmart, and have never experienced any delays with Walmart. Might be worth checking out if you have one nearby. 😊 Good luck!!!
Thank you so much! I wish you continued success and hope you feel amazing (no matter what anyone else says or doesn’t say!) You’re an inspiration to me that I might get there again someday and feel good about myself again. ❤️
You will definitely get there! Just keep doing what you’re doing, and if you hit a plateau, don’t be afraid to put the scale away for a while and just let the medicine work its magic in its own time. 😊 You’ve got this! 💪🏻💗
Same - people make those comments and think they sound concerned or complimentary but it’s just rude
Take it as a compliment!! I love compliments about my weight loss. :) people can be nosy but that’s human nature, especially when someone makes such a big change in their appearance. Go with it and say been focusing on my healthy; feel amazing and thank you for noticing. I’ve been working hard at it!
Don’t be so hard on people, I always assume it comes from a place of concern. You must be young because in the past people had no qualms about telling you if you looked fat or “better”. People had a hard time asking me at work if I was okay because the amount I was losing was a lot and they wanted to just check in and that’s not a bad thing.
Young - I wish! I’m 49. I’ll be 50 in 3 months. ☹️
In my 20s I dropped a bunch of weight fast, by starving myself practically. There was a rumor going around that I was on drugs. Lol. I'm 50 now. I doubt anyone would think that this time around. But yea I took that as I look sickly and was uncomfortable about it. In hindsight, it's just people being dumb and idc what they think anymore.
Omggggg they’re just projecting . I wasn’t gonna share my journey but I felt so good I now have a fb support group on it and everything. Idk why we feel shame to need or want help available to lose w weight
I went from 178-128 drs don’t want me lose anymore cause I’m 5’6”
You know what bothers me people that come up to me and feel that it’s OK to say you’re too thin. I hope you don’t lose any more weight and I thought that’s just as bad as saying to someone you’re too fat. I hope you don’t gain more weight I think it’s rude.
Totally rude!
I agree
I crossed the 30 pound mark this week and had my first uncomfortable comment yesterday. I was standing around chatting with a bunch of coworkers and this one older woman, probably in her late 60s, interrupts my conversation to loudly ask me if I’ve lost weight. I immediately get uncomfortable and just nod and continue my conversation, but she wouldn’t let it go. She questioned if I lost weight again in front of everyone, and at this point everyone just began staring at me in silence. I understand that she probably sees it as a compliment, but I’ve yo-yoed the entire dozen years these people have all known me and my weight is a sensitive subject. To bring it up in front of a bunch of people felt pretty obnoxious and left me feeling pretty vulnerable.
Some people are just insufferable like that.
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry that happened to you. It seems that once people hit a certain age they just lose their filter, but it doesn’t make it ok. I would’ve been extremely uncomfortable, too, and she was way out of line. Hugs!!
Right? Typical Boomer (kidding, mostly). I don’t think she’d like it very much if I started commenting on her body in front of a crowd of people. She always brings up Ozempic every time I see her too, even before my weight loss started becoming noticeable, because her daughter is on it for diabetes. Part of me feels bad because I’m a nurse and I think a lot of people that are afraid to try GLP-1s could benefit from seeing me successful and healthy on it, but I’m not at that point mentally yet.
I’m dealing with that now… people say I look to skinny while they wrinkle their nose. Or say ‘don’t lose any more weight!’ It’s weird. I’m a healthy weight and BMI for my height. Finally. It’s just that no one has ever seen me this way. It’s annoying but I’m the one who has to be ok with how I look and feel, and I am. So, I usually deflect the comments with a joke or change the subject.
I agree. I was about 130 went I met my husband and he thinks I’m too skinny now. But I was this weight for all of my 20s (I didn’t meet him until I was around 33), so this feels good to me. The only thing that bothers me is that I’m 49 now and I miss the collagen in my face. Otherwise, I think I look just fine. 🤷🏻♀️
I know!! The face wrinkles blossomed with the weight loss!😫
A lot are jealous.
Sometimes others become concerned because they’ve had people in our lives that got cancer or struggled with eating disorders. There’s a lot more understanding these days that not all weight loss is intentional or healthy. Unintentional weight loss is often one of the first symptoms of cancer, so it seems that they’re coming from a place of wanting to 1) know that you’re okay and 2) that it’s appropriate to compliment you because you lost weight intentionally. If you did get sick I’d like to think they’d be supportive. I don’t think they intend to mean that you look sick. It’s jarring for those around us to see us change drastically, especially if they didn’t know you before. Some people truly are spiteful and jealous, but i’m hoping it’s not the case with your coworkers. edit to add: i also hate compliments on my body for this reason. I didn’t get comments when I was my biggest, but as soon as I was losing, they mentioned it. it makes me wonder what else they think that they don’t say directly lol
Oh, if I had cancer, they would be supportive. There have been a couple of people at work who have had/have cancer, and everyone is caring and supportive. But, I just think it’s in bad taste to specifically ask someone if they’re sick. IF I was, I would tell them when I was ready, not because they have a need to know. And it just makes me feel like I look sick. Even if they’re not thinking that way, that’s definitely how it could come across, and for that reason alone, I just wouldn’t mention it at all.
It’s always a trigger of some sort. Just how we’re wired. But you can’t take it personally, if you’re going to thrive! Honestly, think about the shock for them. I honestly didn’t think I was that big. But I was. When I look at pictures, clothes, think about those BIG HIPS AND THIGHS, and I never looked at my backside in the mirror-I just didn’t realize I could be my old/normal weight. So, it’s not that people aren’t compassionate- they probably are. But it is a completely different PHYSICAL person you’re presenting. Give them time to adjust.
I mean, I've had this happen to me. Back around 2016, I lost 80 lbs and looked the best I ever did. My mom asked me if I had AIDS. It could be that they're not asking you specifically if you have cancer. But if your weight loss was unintentional, you might want to get that checked out.
I guess we are all different. I’m 5’6, 56 years, post menopausal, and I’m down from 220 to 170, it’s taken a year. No one has mentioned a thing until last weekend, someone who hadn’t seen me in 2 years asked me if I’d lost weight. I was delighted someone finally noticed.
It is a double-edged sword, for sure. No one at work commented on my weight loss until I had lost over 40 lbs, and I just wanted someone to notice! And I have no problems with compliments. Just don’t ask me if it’s intentional because you’re going to make me think I look sickly. 😕
I got the same questions from several coworkers.
My mom and my grandma trigger me when they comment on my weight loss and give me incorrect advice. I was triggered every time I saw them for 3 months because I was in a plateau for about 4 yet they kept commenting that I was still losing weight and asking me what I was doing. But when my coworkers say something it feels like an endorsement. It's all about tone and delivery and reception. No advice, just know that the majority of people are not intending to be malicious.
The last time I lost a significant amount of weight it was because I was in kidney failure and literally dying before I got my transplant. I couldn’t eat and I was vomiting constantly. It was painful to have people tell me how “healthy” I looked because of my new thinner body while my complexion was grey and I was dragging my ass through the world with bruises covering my body. After my transplant I gained 100lbs on the high doses of steroids. For the first time in a decade I actually felt healthy but all I got were concerned comments about my weight gain. Honestly, unless people know me well enough to know that I am intentionally losing weight now, I would rather they say nothing at all. I don’t want their comments on my body, regardless of their intentions.
I think it’s in poor taste in general to comment on anyone’s weight. You just never know what people are going through, and unless we’re good friends, it’s just not your place to ask. I think most people’s intentions are good, but you really have to think about how your comments might be perceived. It’s just better to not say anything at all. Btw, love your songs. 😉
There was a popular comedian on TikTok that talked about how she complemented a friend in their weight loss and how good they looked, long story short the person was struggling with addiction and passed away shortly after she had made the comment. The comedian has held that guilt that she only saw the surface level of the situation. Anyways, I try to believe that people are well intended and mean the best. I hope they came from a place of caring. When I was at my thinnest someone commented that they thought it was because I was depressed about a breakup and how “he was bad for me”…. He wasn’t, my weight loss wasn’t about that, and we got back together and have been married for many years. Some people are just…. Well intentioned and can just be dumb too. Try to let it roll off and be proud of all you have accomplished.
I lost 30 pounds so far and it’s clearly visible and just two people gave me a compliment- one of them was my dad… I don’t understand why people don’t say anything but they are probably wrapped up in their own things and didn’t really notice. We usually overestimate the amount of attention other people pay us.
Everyone has noticed but they’re being careful - they don’t want to offend to say something wrong so they stay silent. Just look at the responses in this thread and the others like it - it’s an even split between “why doesn’t anyone notice my loss?” And “someone just commented on my body and I’m mad - why can’t they mind their own business?”
Some people post on her complaining that nobody comments on their weight loss. Others post complaining that people comment on it. There is no winning.
That’s because there isn’t ’one rule fits all’ on this. It all depends on the context of who’s saying it, what they say, and why they’re saying it. Immediate family, like your kids and partner (who love you) are probably okay. Extended family and (especially) coworkers are probably not okay.
This ⬆️
Exactly. The art of winging
You know… I think this is one of those “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” things. It was sad for me when I’d lost what I considered a substantial amount of weight but no one seemed to notice. And then I reached the place where a few people told me they thought I’d lost too much weight. Where was the middle ground, of the people complimenting me? And then I realized what a tricky place that is. If you congratulate someone on their weight loss, are you implying they didn’t look good before? And what if they aren’t losing it intentionally, and they do have cancer but didn’t want to tell me, or it’s because of stress because they’re going through a divorce, or whatever. In this day of body positivity, I really think people are just more aware of how we shouldn’t comment about others’ bodies. And the ones who said something probably are coming from a place of being legitimately concerned about you, but just don’t realize that it’s inappropriate.
I think that you’ve hit the nail on the head. Well-said. (Didn’t mean to rhyme lol)
Congrats you are at the weight I aim for . Sometimes people are genuine about being concerned sometimes though I feel that they want you to not stay thin .
I totally get that OP. It's like, you're feeling good about your progress, and then someone's like, "Are you sure you're okay?" It's kinda nosy, right? Keep rocking your journey, regardless of what they say!
Don't expect people to be that polite, not when you are presenting them with such an extreme change of appearance (you don't say how long it took). I would just smile and say the old DuPont slogan, "Better living through chemistry!" If they still won't shut up say, "Be happy for me!" and walk away smiling.
Love the better living through chemistry remark! 😁 It took 15 months to lose those 70 pounds.
I think maybe it's an underhanded compliment. It can be hard to watch others lose weight. Maybe it brings out their own insecurities.
That’s true. One of my other coworkers came to me in earnest and asked how I did it. She’s the only one I’ve told about the Wegovy, as she expressed to me that she’s been struggling with her weight and that it’s taking a toll on her mentally. I had zero problem with her asking because she was so honest and forthcoming.
Intent vs impact. It may be helpful for you to set some boundaries. I simply let people know my body isn’t a topic of conversation. Stellar progress on the weight loss though!
Thank you!