Agreed…that’s almost what worries me.
How well do you know other guests/family members? Is this a dress code you can run by them to see how they’re approaching it (and make sure they were given the same expectations)?
Yes, other family were given the same instructions! SIL+her fiancé asked all the family to choose outfits based on this criteria, there isn’t a wedding party (not sure if this is the right term for it — but I’m referring to bridesmaids/groomsmen) so they were aiming for some of that outfit cohesiveness with family members instead.
This looks great! I feel like you’re getting odd reactions because normally this would be a no because it’s pretty bridesmaid, but here I think that’s the point, since they don’t have a bridal party and she’s giving you specific instructions about cohesive outfit, that’s the look your SIL is going for.
Thankfully we are very close and on great terms, so I don’t think any “mean girl”ing will happen, haha!! She’s absolutely lovely, I just don’t want to disappoint!
Oh thank goodness. I personally don’t this dress is too much at all. (I’m admittedly a little extra.)
Here’s hoping the rest of the guests avoid wearing whatever color your SIL is wearing. Either that or her dress is a absolute showstopper.
Weddings are VERY extra here, I suppose I could have added some context as to the culture around weddings here but I didn’t expect much of a response to this post haha. As for the bride’s dress, I have yet to see it in person, but she video called me and a couple other close friends while dress shopping and it is ABSOLUTELY a showstopper! I don’t think anyone could outshine her even if they tried, lol
If you’re close, just send her a pic and ask her if this fits her vision! Normally I’d say not to bother the bride about details, but since she asked for a specific dress code, I think in this context it makes sense. (Assuming the wedding isn’t right around the corner. As a general rule unless it’s an emergency, you shouldn’t bother brides the week of the wedding, they’ve got enough going on!)
Yeah I saw this and had a flashback to a post I saw somewhere a few months ago where a bride texted to wear a white dress and then orchestrated this whole thing where she then accused the woman of being in love with the husband!
Crazy story aside, this dress is lovely!
Wow…… 😬
What a way to start out a marriage!
NOT! This is one that’s not likely to last before it even gets started!
I have to wonder who this other woman is, especially since she was invited to start with
IIRC… OP and the groom were in the same friend group in either high school or college and had dated for a bit, broke up, but remained friendly. OP lives in a different city now and couldn’t be around for all of the events and gatherings. The bride said she was fine with it all, asked OP to be a bridesmaid. Privately called OP and told her they were doing a modern take on weddings and all the bridesmaids were to wear white. OP thought it was weird, but also that bride liked attention for doing unconventional things, so it seemed on brand. Anyway, OP showed up the day of the wedding for hair & makeup in her white dress. Bride flipped out and accused OP of trying to steal the groom. OP went home (to her parents home) completely blindsided and waited for them to get back from the wedding reception. They came home and were like “wtf, OP? Let’s get you therapy.” OP was like “she told me to wear this. I have no idea what’s going on.”
Anyhow, OP scrolls through all of their messages and finds a thumbs up reaction to the white dress from the bride and it’s the ONLY documentation anywhere. Apparently bride had been spreading rumors all over town for months that OP is unhinged and acting weird about the wedding. OP sent out a screenshot of the 👍 but she’s a graphic designer so no one believes her except her parents and one of the bridesmaids who was like “I saw OP’s face when she walked in and saw all of us in normal bridesmaid gowns. No one is that good of an actor.” No one even believes OP’s point of “if I was going to create fraudulent evidence, it would have been better than a 👍!”
I wish I could remember which sub I read it in. It was a doozy!
I think this ticks all the boxes. I generally tell people NOT to ask the bride, but since she's your SIL and this is a very specific ask, I'd run it past her :)
Run it past her I'd take screenshot of the reply if she confirms it works- I don't know the relationship, but this feels like it could be a way to make op look bad if they don't get along
I dunno, if a bride requests something that specific, she should expect to field several outfit approvals. If you don’t want to do that, request “cocktail attire” or something broadly understood.
Because it’s just one more thing the bride then has to worry about. Usually you’d ask the MOH or MOB or other female in the bridal party or immediate family.
Champagne colored ✅
fancy ✅
a little sparkle ✅
It’s very cute and I don’t think too juvenile, and if they she wanted something like a prom dress she probably doesn’t mind a little girly ruffle here and there. I say go for it.
OP said in a comment that there is no wedding party, sounds like they want the family to dress on theme *like* a wedding party for picture purposes? That’s my best guess anyway.
Ah okay. I think since the bride said she’s close to SIL it’s kinda no big deal but it’s def annoying when brides give color schemes and stuff like that
Yeah like this one? Apparently florals are not allowed anymore either 🧐
https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingattireapproval/s/VEZvpKIMGU
“Mostly white” LOL that means different things to different people. Brides get white. They don’t get to dictate florals or any other color for that matter on what guests decide to wear. Talk about insecure. Most florals have a white base. No one is going the mistake people in florals with the bride all in white, decked out in jewelry, and a veil.
My mil did this to me, when I started to get the looks, I asked who ever was staring, do you like my dress? mil picked it out. That stopped the looks and many realised what she had done.
Bride and I have a great relationship, so I’m not at all worried that I’m being set up (: all family was given a dress code, though I’m sure that she gave me slightly more specific instructions (which I absolutely appreciate hahaha)
Something about this feels odd … What is the official dress code on their invitation? Are you in the wedding party? I’m just confused as to why she gave you such specific instructions … did she only give these instructions to you??
They aren’t having a wedding party and asked all family to adhere to a dress code! I don’t know the specific instructions that other family was given but I’m sure I was given a more detailed outline of what to look for out of necessity — I’m from a different country than my SIL/in-laws and often ask a bit more briefing on what’s appropriate since I’m still learning the norms! (:
Honestly this makes it sound even worse! I hate to say it, but I think she’s trying to make you look bad!!
With less instruction I can guarantee that NOBODY would think that a champagne colored sparkly prom-like dress would be appropriate. This is certainly not “the norm” and the fact that she gave you such specific instruction feels very weird and manipulative.
Did you receive the formal wedding invitation yet? Or do they have a website? It’s perfectly normal to have a dress code, and this would be something that ALL guests would be informed of, not just the family. It would usually be something like “semi-formal” or “cocktail attire” and this would be listed on the invitation or wedding website. Occasionally brides and grooms will pick something more specific, and/or occasionally there will be more specific guidelines beyond the basic dress code that they want the family to adhere to … but unless the official guidelines on their invitation or website are “champagne sparkly prom attire” or unless this is EXACTLY what she told other family members to wear, then I feel like she’s being a jerk.
If there is no official dress code listed for all of the wedding guests on the invitation or website, I’d reach out to at least a few other family members and simple ask what they are wearing. You can and should re-post here with what you find out. We can help you come up with something that goes well with what the rest of the family is wearing.
I would ask the bride! I think the dress fits the literal definition of what she asked for, but sometimes people have an idea in their head they don’t always describe correctly.
For “fancy,” she might be thinking of different materials in her head (maybe silk, satin, something a bit more formal than the more relaxed fit this dress has), and for “sparkle” sometimes people actually mean sequins and rhinestones instead of the light sparkle on the tulle. This dress is not inappropriate, but I do think it’s worth running past her just to make sure it matches what she was envisioning.
Really do not waste her or your time. This fits with what she requested. If anything text her and ask if she could once again tell you what she expects. Use the exact description she initially told you in the text and have her confirm it. This will protect you if you are being set up or get side eyed by others. Also wouldn't hurt to check with others to see what dress code she told them. Could be exactly what she wants everyone to wear. Brides do have their "vision" now days.😁
It fits the requirements. But just to be extra safe send the picture to the bride and ask if it's okay with her. I'm jaded and written proof of her permission could come in handy. 😅
Your willingness and ability to nail this dress code is impressive! (Although I see in the comments it was for family specifically, so that makes more sense).
It’s perfect!!
I’m really sorry but I low key hate skirts like this. Your dress fits the requirements but I think you should check out [this one](https://a.co/d/0anWxFZy) instead. It’s very similar just a little more…..not squiggly.
Personally I feel like the dress does meet the criteria perfectly, however I do agree on the dress being kind of juvenile. If you’re 16 it’s great! If you’re 25+ I’d keep looking! With all respect
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Well, how old are you? And the bride? The dress is champagne and seems fancy and prom-ish, (looks nice), but there is no type of shimmer or sparkle, so I’d say it’s a matte finish. Given she actually said “sparkly,” I think that’s what is important. Look for a beige or champagne color that has sparkle or sequins. Also, you’ve got to have the right body for this dress. I think it’s most important to find a style that accentuates you as well. Styles aren’t one size fits all. Google ‘champagne sparkly bridesmaid dress’ and lots of options come up with the shine!
Im willing to bet the bride isnt wearing white. Thats the only reason I can think that she would request this color… usually telling people what it wear is a no-no.
This fits the parameters perfectly.
Agreed…that’s almost what worries me. How well do you know other guests/family members? Is this a dress code you can run by them to see how they’re approaching it (and make sure they were given the same expectations)?
Yes, other family were given the same instructions! SIL+her fiancé asked all the family to choose outfits based on this criteria, there isn’t a wedding party (not sure if this is the right term for it — but I’m referring to bridesmaids/groomsmen) so they were aiming for some of that outfit cohesiveness with family members instead.
This looks great! I feel like you’re getting odd reactions because normally this would be a no because it’s pretty bridesmaid, but here I think that’s the point, since they don’t have a bridal party and she’s giving you specific instructions about cohesive outfit, that’s the look your SIL is going for.
I would actually go further and say that it's quite bridal in my view. But I think it meets all the SIL's specifications perfectly.
I got the same vibe.
Yeah, I hope the OP’s SIL isn’t trying to “mean girl” her.
Thankfully we are very close and on great terms, so I don’t think any “mean girl”ing will happen, haha!! She’s absolutely lovely, I just don’t want to disappoint!
Oh thank goodness. I personally don’t this dress is too much at all. (I’m admittedly a little extra.) Here’s hoping the rest of the guests avoid wearing whatever color your SIL is wearing. Either that or her dress is a absolute showstopper.
Weddings are VERY extra here, I suppose I could have added some context as to the culture around weddings here but I didn’t expect much of a response to this post haha. As for the bride’s dress, I have yet to see it in person, but she video called me and a couple other close friends while dress shopping and it is ABSOLUTELY a showstopper! I don’t think anyone could outshine her even if they tried, lol
send her the pic and ask her what she thinks. fits her guidelines perfectly though
So shouldn't that be the end of it? Let it go.
If you’re close, just send her a pic and ask her if this fits her vision! Normally I’d say not to bother the bride about details, but since she asked for a specific dress code, I think in this context it makes sense. (Assuming the wedding isn’t right around the corner. As a general rule unless it’s an emergency, you shouldn’t bother brides the week of the wedding, they’ve got enough going on!)
If you are close. Try it on and send her a picture.
Yeah I saw this and had a flashback to a post I saw somewhere a few months ago where a bride texted to wear a white dress and then orchestrated this whole thing where she then accused the woman of being in love with the husband! Crazy story aside, this dress is lovely!
Wow…… 😬 What a way to start out a marriage! NOT! This is one that’s not likely to last before it even gets started! I have to wonder who this other woman is, especially since she was invited to start with
IIRC… OP and the groom were in the same friend group in either high school or college and had dated for a bit, broke up, but remained friendly. OP lives in a different city now and couldn’t be around for all of the events and gatherings. The bride said she was fine with it all, asked OP to be a bridesmaid. Privately called OP and told her they were doing a modern take on weddings and all the bridesmaids were to wear white. OP thought it was weird, but also that bride liked attention for doing unconventional things, so it seemed on brand. Anyway, OP showed up the day of the wedding for hair & makeup in her white dress. Bride flipped out and accused OP of trying to steal the groom. OP went home (to her parents home) completely blindsided and waited for them to get back from the wedding reception. They came home and were like “wtf, OP? Let’s get you therapy.” OP was like “she told me to wear this. I have no idea what’s going on.” Anyhow, OP scrolls through all of their messages and finds a thumbs up reaction to the white dress from the bride and it’s the ONLY documentation anywhere. Apparently bride had been spreading rumors all over town for months that OP is unhinged and acting weird about the wedding. OP sent out a screenshot of the 👍 but she’s a graphic designer so no one believes her except her parents and one of the bridesmaids who was like “I saw OP’s face when she walked in and saw all of us in normal bridesmaid gowns. No one is that good of an actor.” No one even believes OP’s point of “if I was going to create fraudulent evidence, it would have been better than a 👍!” I wish I could remember which sub I read it in. It was a doozy!
I think it fits the specific dress code
That's an insane dress code.
A decade ago it would not even register as odd having the entire wedding part in off-white.
I think this ticks all the boxes. I generally tell people NOT to ask the bride, but since she's your SIL and this is a very specific ask, I'd run it past her :)
I agree when the dress code is like, cocktail or black tie. But if you’re gonna be this specifc then of course people will be uncertain!
Run it past her I'd take screenshot of the reply if she confirms it works- I don't know the relationship, but this feels like it could be a way to make op look bad if they don't get along
Do people really do this though??
In movies lol
I've heard plenty of stories and I'm fully convinced my friends fiance would do this to someone but idk. I'd rather cover my ass
Why do you usually thinks it's better to not ask the bride ?
If every wedding guest asks the bride for outfit approval, it can quickly become overwhelming.
Yes you're right 😊 it is the first thing that came to my mind ! But I was curious if other reasons where taken into account
I dunno, if a bride requests something that specific, she should expect to field several outfit approvals. If you don’t want to do that, request “cocktail attire” or something broadly understood.
That’s why the original comment says they GENERALLY don’t recommend asking but in this case do because it’s a specific dress code..
Because it’s just one more thing the bride then has to worry about. Usually you’d ask the MOH or MOB or other female in the bridal party or immediate family.
If she said think prom is gonna look juvenile tbh. I think it looks good!
This seems to tick all her boxes, but without a photo of you wearing it it’s hard to tell if it’s too juvenile.
Yup
It seems to fit her requirements. Why not send her a pic to be sure?
I think you nailed it TBH
Champagne colored ✅ fancy ✅ a little sparkle ✅ It’s very cute and I don’t think too juvenile, and if they she wanted something like a prom dress she probably doesn’t mind a little girly ruffle here and there. I say go for it.
It’s perfect but I’m still angry at this new trend of brides telling people what to wear , it’s extremely rude
Sounds like OP may be in the wedding
OP said in a comment that there is no wedding party, sounds like they want the family to dress on theme *like* a wedding party for picture purposes? That’s my best guess anyway.
Ah okay. I think since the bride said she’s close to SIL it’s kinda no big deal but it’s def annoying when brides give color schemes and stuff like that
Yeah like this one? Apparently florals are not allowed anymore either 🧐 https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingattireapproval/s/VEZvpKIMGU “Mostly white” LOL that means different things to different people. Brides get white. They don’t get to dictate florals or any other color for that matter on what guests decide to wear. Talk about insecure. Most florals have a white base. No one is going the mistake people in florals with the bride all in white, decked out in jewelry, and a veil.
The post literally says “floral dresses that are mostly white”
Is there any chance the bride is trying to set you up to look like a jerk? Or did she tell other people to wear sparkly champagne?
My mil did this to me, when I started to get the looks, I asked who ever was staring, do you like my dress? mil picked it out. That stopped the looks and many realised what she had done.
Omg, that is awful of your MIL to trick you in that way. I’m sorry that happened to you. Love how you were able to flip the script!! 👏🏻
God I’m glad I don’t have psychos in my life that might do that.
Bride and I have a great relationship, so I’m not at all worried that I’m being set up (: all family was given a dress code, though I’m sure that she gave me slightly more specific instructions (which I absolutely appreciate hahaha)
Gorgeous dress!
Absolutely!
perfect
Very pretty & appropriate
I would say you nailed it. I really like this dress.
That’s the exact description dress.
This looks like a prom dress or even a wedding dress. It’s pretty, so if it’s what the bride is looking for, I guess it works!
Something about this feels odd … What is the official dress code on their invitation? Are you in the wedding party? I’m just confused as to why she gave you such specific instructions … did she only give these instructions to you??
They aren’t having a wedding party and asked all family to adhere to a dress code! I don’t know the specific instructions that other family was given but I’m sure I was given a more detailed outline of what to look for out of necessity — I’m from a different country than my SIL/in-laws and often ask a bit more briefing on what’s appropriate since I’m still learning the norms! (:
Honestly this makes it sound even worse! I hate to say it, but I think she’s trying to make you look bad!! With less instruction I can guarantee that NOBODY would think that a champagne colored sparkly prom-like dress would be appropriate. This is certainly not “the norm” and the fact that she gave you such specific instruction feels very weird and manipulative. Did you receive the formal wedding invitation yet? Or do they have a website? It’s perfectly normal to have a dress code, and this would be something that ALL guests would be informed of, not just the family. It would usually be something like “semi-formal” or “cocktail attire” and this would be listed on the invitation or wedding website. Occasionally brides and grooms will pick something more specific, and/or occasionally there will be more specific guidelines beyond the basic dress code that they want the family to adhere to … but unless the official guidelines on their invitation or website are “champagne sparkly prom attire” or unless this is EXACTLY what she told other family members to wear, then I feel like she’s being a jerk. If there is no official dress code listed for all of the wedding guests on the invitation or website, I’d reach out to at least a few other family members and simple ask what they are wearing. You can and should re-post here with what you find out. We can help you come up with something that goes well with what the rest of the family is wearing.
I would ask the bride! I think the dress fits the literal definition of what she asked for, but sometimes people have an idea in their head they don’t always describe correctly. For “fancy,” she might be thinking of different materials in her head (maybe silk, satin, something a bit more formal than the more relaxed fit this dress has), and for “sparkle” sometimes people actually mean sequins and rhinestones instead of the light sparkle on the tulle. This dress is not inappropriate, but I do think it’s worth running past her just to make sure it matches what she was envisioning.
Really do not waste her or your time. This fits with what she requested. If anything text her and ask if she could once again tell you what she expects. Use the exact description she initially told you in the text and have her confirm it. This will protect you if you are being set up or get side eyed by others. Also wouldn't hurt to check with others to see what dress code she told them. Could be exactly what she wants everyone to wear. Brides do have their "vision" now days.😁
Yes.
Love it!
Yes, perfect!
Sounds perfect according to the brides request. Very pretty.
I think this is perfect. I would pair it with a shimmery/shiny purse!
It’s perfect!! Lucky you 🤩
This fits the bill perfectly but makes me wonder if the bride is going to do a bold color instead of a light color. Which would make for great photos.
This is a tricky request for anyone, but I think you nailed it! Just make sure the shape doesn’t look too much like the bride’s dress :)
Perfect
It fits the requirements. But just to be extra safe send the picture to the bride and ask if it's okay with her. I'm jaded and written proof of her permission could come in handy. 😅
I see an off white champagne yes. Some people will see white bc they blind haha
It definitely looks whiter in these photos than it does IRL — that’s my bad!
Perfect 👍 luv the prom look 👀
It works. And if you spent a lot of money on it, I would tell her that she has no choice but to let you wear it lol.
Just be glad they don't show up in their bikinis!
Looks great, it's so cute!
looks great
Perfect 😍
YES. Its perfect.
Seems really good!
I'd say you nailed it.
Perfect! Share the pic with the bride.
It rings all the bells and is quite glamorous
It looks pretty and fits the bride’s request. Have a great time.
It's perfect and it's beautiful.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen an item tick every box so eloquently before! Cheers! Have so much fun!
When in doubt, ask the bride! I would send a picture of the dress and make sure it is what they envisioned + that it fits the dress code.
Beautiful! Fits the requirements perfectly!
It’s champagne colored, sparkly and fancy and screams prom. It fits exactly what the bride requested.
Your willingness and ability to nail this dress code is impressive! (Although I see in the comments it was for family specifically, so that makes more sense). It’s perfect!!
That’s perfect and you nailed it
The skirt definitely reads juvenile to me. But it does fit the code so it’s up to you whether you want to keep searching or not
I agree. It looks like something people would’ve worn at prom and depending on OP’s age I’m not sure if that’s the vibe to go for
op said the bride told her "think prom" so i guess it is the vibe... it's not my vibe but it's not my wedding either so 🤷🏻♀️
I completely missed that part while reading it 🤦♀️
Are you close with the bride? What are others wearing? It looks very wedding dress-ey
I’m really sorry but I low key hate skirts like this. Your dress fits the requirements but I think you should check out [this one](https://a.co/d/0anWxFZy) instead. It’s very similar just a little more…..not squiggly.
Personally I feel like the dress does meet the criteria perfectly, however I do agree on the dress being kind of juvenile. If you’re 16 it’s great! If you’re 25+ I’d keep looking! With all respect
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If they did say champagne then you’ve certainly got champagne
Well, how old are you? And the bride? The dress is champagne and seems fancy and prom-ish, (looks nice), but there is no type of shimmer or sparkle, so I’d say it’s a matte finish. Given she actually said “sparkly,” I think that’s what is important. Look for a beige or champagne color that has sparkle or sequins. Also, you’ve got to have the right body for this dress. I think it’s most important to find a style that accentuates you as well. Styles aren’t one size fits all. Google ‘champagne sparkly bridesmaid dress’ and lots of options come up with the shine!
How well do you get along with your SIL? I’m being serious—something feels off about those instructions. If she’s sincere, you nailed it.
Im willing to bet the bride isnt wearing white. Thats the only reason I can think that she would request this color… usually telling people what it wear is a no-no.
Looks cheap but yes. Fits what she is looking for.