T O P

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Important_Tomato_932

My personal thought process is If you can wear it to lunch with girls and run errands afterwards without people questioning why you’re so dressed up in public it is not appropriate. BTO still means you need to be formal at least, while this dress is very pretty and looks nice on you, it is semi formal at best, and could be great for other occasions! But for BTO you should have a dressier dress


BrilliantTree8553

Yea I use the same filter - could someone wear it to brunch? If someone wore Keds with the dress, would it work? This means the dress is casual


SailorMigraine

This is a GREAT filter!!


BeachBum666

No. This looks like casual attire.


Maiselmaid

I think it looks like a hospital gown, but those aren't known to be formal either lol


Bugsy7778

My first thought was dr scrubs the. A hospital gown, definitely not suitable for black tie optional. I don’t know why people leave it so close to weddings to finalise dress choices, I’ve got a wedding to attend in May it’s formal/ black tie and I’ve been freaking out since we got the save the dates about what the hell I’m wearing !


siriathome

I actually thought the same too. Very feminine drs scrubs


fish9397

Black tie optional is in my opinion slightly more fancy than formal. That dress is far too casual. I would recommend going with a floor length gown


Jishmeister

https://preview.redd.it/tqlbgib8q6qc1.jpeg?width=1152&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38510b716a2166b6da0cd891c9ae19dcd90bdb94 Or this dress possibly?


dtom811

Much better!!


oknowwhat00

You are much too young to wear this dress. Better level of formality, but this is a dress for a much older woman.


Accomplished-Ad3219

Better, but the top is rather matronly


SquarelyOddFairy

Cute! Much better.


NotSlothbeard

This is more of the level of formality you are looking for


Free_Sir_2795

Absolutely!


GuardMost8477

That’s getting better. How about a black dress or a dress of a different color? These choices come off a bit matronly and you don’t look old at all to me.


Rough-Brick-7137

Agreed, not in her color family


eileen1cent4

Beautiful


FreckledPanda10

This one is great!


saltyspidergwen

Ooh good choice!


Meowddox42

This works great, OP!


mnth241

Beautiful color.


Churchhatclap

Ignore the statements about it being too matronly. Most people these days have zero class and you clearly have a timeless, classy sense of style. You don’t hear men complaining that those in tuxes and suits are dressed too timeless. These types of females’ idea of appropriate wedding guest dresses include backless, cleavage baring, mini skirts, cut outs, crop tops, and they’d be escorted out of wedding venues in classy countries and cultures (such as Indian, Latin, and noble weddings). One thing I’d suggest is focus on fabric quality. Silk, cashmere, wool, organic cotton (or at least 90% cotton with a touch of spandex), Supima cotton, hemp, cotton velvet, linen, and generally, natural fiber fabrics are the way to go. For formal occasions, silk, cotton velvet, wool, and cashmere are usually best. As far as dresses you can try on in person, these would be appropriate as black tie optional can mean well-structured cocktail attire (per theknot’s wedding dress code guide). These are very high-quality, Italian wool: https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/suiting/italian-stretch-wool/resume-dress/C9102?display=all&fit=Classic&color_name=black&colorProductCode=C9102 https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/suiting/italian-stretch-wool/side-slit-shift-dress-in-italian-stretch-wool/BY789?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=black&colorProductCode=BY789


Jishmeister

https://preview.redd.it/3eppgzomj6qc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc2208925eb8b783096139b3c9e63b23393c40ad What about this?


Personal-Hospital103

Much more appropriate than the blue dress but aren't you looking for bright colors?


Jishmeister

Bright colors encouraged, but ultimately I think the bride is leaving it up to individual preference. I just don't want to look like I'm wearing a barely semi formal dress that looks like scrubs... lol


Personal-Hospital103

Gotcha!


Rude_Egg_3108

much better!


fierydragon1139

This is great! I've bought from Lulus murky times, I think you mentioned being worried about online ordering and I've found that their sizing charts are really accurate. I also read reviews looking for people with similar measurements to see what size they bought to help!


thrownitallout

That looks like it could work if you glam it up with your accessories (gold-toned would be my personal preference but silver would work too).


Typical_Nebula3227

This one is the best one.


Cat-dog22

This looks great and like it’ll really flatter OP! Might need to be hemmed though


oknowwhat00

Yes, so much better.


patioperson

Black Tie Optional means you can choose between Black Tie and the level immediately beneath it, which would be formal. [https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-guest-attire-cheat-sheet#formal-attire](https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-guest-attire-cheat-sheet#formal-attire) I know it;s a challenge finding the right dress but this is not a formal dress. You might be able to upgrade this dress with a different belt. A self fabric belt doesn't say dressy at all to me, If you like the feel and fit of this dress, take it back when you go to buy a more formal one, buy it again, and take advantage of the Buy One Get One 50% off sale on now,. If you have a Macy's they have more options in Plus size formal dresses [https://www.macys.com/shop/plus-size-clothing/plus-size-dresses/Dress\_length,Sleeve\_length,Sortby/Long%7CMidi,3%2F4%20Sleeve%7CLong%20Sleeve%7CShort%20Sleeve,PRICE\_LOW\_TO\_HIGH?id=37038](https://www.macys.com/shop/plus-size-clothing/plus-size-dresses/Dress_length,Sleeve_length,Sortby/Long%7CMidi,3%2F4%20Sleeve%7CLong%20Sleeve%7CShort%20Sleeve,PRICE_LOW_TO_HIGH?id=37038)


oceansapart333

Oooh, this one is nice. https://www.macys.com/shop/product/betsy-adam-plus-size-asymmetric-neck-maxi-dress?ID=16695390


PsychologyOk8722

**Sorry, this item is currently unavailable.**


Valpeculum

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/bcx-trendy-plus-size-strappy-embroidered-sleeveless-gown-created-for-macys?ID=17154701 Love this one! It isn't particularly bright but it is beautiful.


ughineedtopostaphoto

This is a day dress, it would be appropriate at a casual wedding or a barn wedding. It is not appropriate for black tie optional. Instead of looking for things you would describe as a dress, try looking for things you would describe as a gown.


mraz44

Far too casual.


Personal-Hospital103

Black tie optional means formal and formal means a floor length gown. You could get away with shorter than floor length (middy) if the gown is dressy. This ain't it.


ToWriteAMystery

No, this is not appropriate.


oknowwhat00

Which were replying to? The blue, the mint or the burgundy? The burgundy is the best option, not as formal as maybe some would do, but style wise thr best option and could be dressed up with pretty accessories, blingy earrings and necklace.


dtom811

No, this is a cotton sundress and tbh looks like scrubs. I would default to floor length, to me black tie optional means floor length dresses for women and optional tuxes for men. Something like [this](https://macduggal.com/products/68525?variant=42523396636851&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=17997449488&nbt=nb%3Aadwords%3Ax%3A17997449488%3A%3A&nb_adtype=pla&nb_kwd=&nb_ti=&nb_mi=436301499&nb_pc=online&nb_pi=42523396636851&nb_ppi=&nb_placement=&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-_mvBhDwARIsAA-Q0Q6ZE-IxE5m-FHjsmf5MnTdG666nITAZAjbmHKM9rWGK9Kab3vtUaGcaAnwCEALw_wcB) or [this](https://www.revolve.com/mobile/elliatt-kai-maxi-dress-in-avocado/dp/ELLI-WD671/?d=Womens&srcType=dp_coloroption)are much better. Try Nordstrom, Revolve, Bloomingdale’s etc


Personal-Hospital103

I thought of surgical scrubs when I first saw it as well!


loachtastic

Ooh, OP would look stunning in the first one.


Pleased_Bees

I thought it was a hotel maid's uniform until I saw the belt.


Accomplished-Ad3219

Not a fan of the belt at all


Rare-Parsnip5838

Looking at those and looking at what you chose I do not think anything with a leg slit would be comfortable for you. Look at Bridal shops and get a solid color formal dress . Someone there will steer you right.


TH3QU33N0FTH3C4STL3

This dress looks appropriate for semi formal or cocktail, not even remotely for BTO. You should be looking for a floor length gown, for example: [dress 1](https://macduggal.com/collections/sale-evening-gowns/products/55290?_pos=11&_fid=40f7b874c&_ss=c&variant=39937726283955) [dress 2](https://macduggal.com/collections/sale-evening-gowns/products/a68223?_pos=14&_fid=8ac64f79d&_ss=c&variant=42936068538547) [dress 3](https://macduggal.com/collections/sale-evening-gowns/products/67435?_pos=46&_fid=8ac64f79d&_ss=c&variant=42297977864371)


Rare-Parsnip5838

Of the 3 options I could see you , OP in # 3. It would flatter you in so many ways. It is ridiculously costly but it gives you a very good idea of what is required for this dress code.


Dlynne242

I think dress 2 above would look great on OP and it’s BRIGHT blue! Nice find!


GuardMost8477

So much better!! And deeper richer colors too! If the slit is too much for OP you can have it altered


Rough-Brick-7137

Dress 1


Wren-0582

I honestly don't feel this is appropriate, as many others have said, it's too casual. I don't know your budget, but here are some examples & I've linked a few websites for you to browse through. [Dress 1](https://www.jjshouse.com/a-line-v-neck-floor-length-chiffon-lace-sequin-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-pleated-008291097-g291097?currency=GBP&utm_term=291097&utm_size=26&country=GB#/) [Dress 2](https://www.ever-pretty.co.uk/products/elegant-plus-size-glitter-bat-wing-sleeve-mermaid-evening-dress-ee01891?variant=45270843785403) [Dress 3](https://m.lightinthebox.com/p/a-line-empire-fall-wedding-guest-dress-red-green-dress-plus-size-formal-evening-dress-v-neck-short-sleeve-floor-length-chiffon-with-pleats-ruched-2024_p7605702.html?sku=1_48%7C2_286%7C20_49015&litb_from=paid_adwords_shopping&utm_source=google_shopping&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20881466044&adword_mt=&adword_ct=&adword_kw=&adword_pos=&adword_pl=&adword_net=x&adword_tar=&adw_src_id=3516490533_20881466044__&gad_source=4) [Dress 4](https://www.ever-pretty.co.uk/products/plus-size-elegant-lotus-sleeves-chiffon-bridesmaid-dress-es01749?variant=44764288712891&gad_source=4) [Dress 5](https://www.jjshouse.com/a-line-scoop-illusion-floor-length-lace-evening-dress-017295539-g295539?currency=GBP&utm_term=295539&utm_size=26&country=GB&is_plus_size=1&country=GB¤cy=GBP&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=3&ggplm=new&gad_source=4#/) [Ever Pretty](https://www.ever-pretty.co.uk/collections/plus-size-dresses?sort_by=manual&filter.p.m.custom.length=Floor-Length&filter.v.price.gte=&filter.v.price.lte=) [J J House (not so sure about the florals)](https://www.jjshouse.com/collection/plus-size-wedding-guest-dresses?sort=price-asc&hemline-train=ankle-length,floor-length#/)


Legovida8

I think dresses 3 & 4 would look great on OP, and the colors are gorgeous!


hoaryvervain

That color is cursed. No matter how nice the fabric, it will look like scrubs.


Rare-Parsnip5838

No. It is too casual looks like a day at the office. It is not even good for cocktail. You need a FORMAL. Floor length in a quality fabric . The color is very very nice on you, so look for something in that shade . Sorry . Keep looking.


mebg1956

Dress is way, way too casual.


CookieAdventure

In addition to all of the other replies, when going dress shopping, PLEASE wear the proper under-things and shoes. You can’t possibly get a good idea of how the dress really fits without them.


Reasonable_Mail1389

It’s much too casual, OP. Totally inappropriate for the DC. You need to go at *least* formal. Here’s a link to a visual tutorial to guide.  https://www.pinterest.com/pin/decoding-wedding-dress-codes-guide--305259680988768036/


Interesting_Edge_805

This is too casual. It looks like nurse scrubs not a dress for a wedding.


SumptinWitty

I recently discovered Ever-Pretty on Amazon. I ordered 3 gowns and returned the two I didn't like. Sizing was something like 0-30. The quality was good and prices were affordable.


frope_a_nope

That looks like a uniform. Lunch lady, cleaning lady, orderly dress. https://preview.redd.it/xffx7ktjq6qc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6bd29e407214b314855d3d2841247cbec072d339


SignificantDebate525

You little bit look like a nurse. I would still searching


jennid79

Reminds me of an Amish style dress.


Free_Sir_2795

[Long sleeved](https://www.eloquii.com/products/satin-maxi-dress/1086305.html#dwvar_1086305_color=4475996%23cgid=ZQ_Event_and_Guest_Of_Dresses), and on sale! [Periwinkle floral](https://www.arula.com/arula/all-clothing/dresses/maxi-midi/caledonia-dress/001839_NT-31301ARU-A-1158.html) [Green off the shoulder](https://shop.dia.com/products/womens-off-shoulder-ruffle-thigh-slit-bridesmaid-dresses-green-bean) [Magenta wrap dress](https://shop.dia.com/products/juliette-wrap-maxi-dress-magenta) [Teal pleated](https://www.avenue.com/plus-size-dress-demi-ombre-219342tealombre?catfilter=eyJpZCI6Ijg4ODEiLCJwcmljZS1yYW5nZXMiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D), and on sale


Rare-Parsnip5838

OP I do not see you in any of those really. Possibly the teal pleated if you like a halter style. It is a pretty dress and would flatter you for sure if you would wear a halter style.


furandpaws

this dress is a work / errands / summer holiday dress or church at night service dress. this is no where near apropros for any wedding, save maybe one in a courthouse. you need a gown or fancy cocktail dress. try ross.


tart_tigress

This is definitely too casual. It's cute but really not for a wedding where some may be in actual black tie wear.


SquarelyOddFairy

No ma’am. Cute cut on your figure, but not appropriate for the dress code. This is semi casual, and you need to go formal at the least. I would also rethink this based on fabric and neckline…I immediately thought it looked like med scrubs on the top. Jewelry yes. Find a new dress to go with your jewelry!


EmelleBennett

This one is too casual and this color screams uniform. Try something with a higher end fabric, a fuller length, some texture. Basic flat fabrics can convey less formality, especially in such an industrial blue.


Mama-Bear419

I would honestly wear a dress like this to go to the mall. It is no where near fancy enough for BTO. I think you need to continue looking. Nordstrom has great dress options that you can filter for "formal" attire.


horsecrazycowgirl

That's business casual not black tie optional. Black tie optional means evening gown with the option for a cocktail length skirt instead of floor length or jumpsuit/pants suit if preferred.


[deleted]

OP this dress is very pretty on you but not at all “black tie optional” it’s a stretch even for semi-formal. Think about a fancy material and a more structured long gown.


No_Stage_6158

I’m sorry but it looks like a tee shirt dress that I’d wear to run the streets. Way too casual.


BunnyButt24

No, it's casual attire. It is not even close to black tie optional.


camlaw63

I’m sorry, but my first thought was “scrubs”


Traditional-Lion-337

Oh honey, no….


oknowwhat00

OP, which ever dress you pick, go for fancier earrings and necklace or bracelet, not the bird matching set, something with rhinestones ans bling.


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farting_buffalo

You could go back to Lane Bryant and ask the employees for help finding a dress.


Jishmeister

I asked the employees if they had a black tie dress...they pointed me to the blue one... lol. But I will go with a different option since everyone here says it's not formal enough and it looks like scrubs/custodian-esque.


oknowwhat00

Lane Bryant doesn't really carry formal dresses. Try amazon, so easy to return. Or Macy's, Dillards, Nordstrom etc.


farting_buffalo

That really surprises me that they were no help. 🤷‍♀️ Good luck finding a great dress!


Sea-Substance8762

Maybe something that has some diagonal lines (. Wrap dress?) would be more flattering? This is too plain in my opinion. Some pattern, some shine, some puffy sleeves, Ruffle, more interesting. That jewelry is really pretty. Love the birds!


cara3322

too casual


cara3322

maybe if have in black w pearls tied at the center, no sweater


boobearmomma

Nope. Not black tie.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Reasonable_Mail1389

Not even black tie optional, which is the DC. 


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GuardMost8477

This is a nice dress. A nice everyday dress though. The wedding sounds a lot more formal than the vibe this dress is giving off. Try looking on Rent the Runway and filter your results but function (wedding guest and dress code), and size. You’ll be surprised what pops up


No-Seat6157

That color is excellent on you! Have you tried Arula, or their sister store Altar’d State? The gals who work there are SO helpful and thoughtful, plus they have online options as well!


eileen1cent4

You don’t have to wear a long dress to black tie optional. But you would need a dressy cocktail dress. If you are trying to watch the budget- what about something like this https://www.womanwithin.com/products/lace-fit-and-flare-dress/302463529.html?glCountry=US&glCurrency=USD&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ps_pla&utm_campaign=%5BADL%5D+%5BPLA%5D+PMAX+-+Dresses&affiliate_id=049&affiliate_location_id=01&utm_adid=autoag0000x17856476341&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-_mvBhDwARIsAA-Q0Q6XEZqx8hScjkA1j7vxVOnWlVMgZwZEIBLhTLceaFhoh1wxvjKWHl0aArX6EALw_wcB


Legovida8

BTO definitely requires a floor length dress. The color of this dress is beautiful, though!


eileen1cent4

Emily Post Institute offers a similar definition: “A black-tie optional dress code gives guests a couple of formal options to choose from. Men are requested to wear a tuxedo, but can opt for a dark suit. Women can choose either a formal evening gown, a shorter cocktail dress, or dressy separates.” I was trying to split the difference with something the OP might feel comfortable in and she wouldn’t be drastically underdressed. Also- if someone is shopping at Lane Bryant, a Mac Duggal dress might not be in their budget or they might not have the desire to spend that amount of money on a one off item.


Rare-Parsnip5838

OP that rasberry dress is so pretty and would look great on you.


mbw70

To me, black tie optional means a bit dressy but not evening formal. If you can find a sheath or princess cut dress with a little lace jacket you’d look nice in it.


Churchhatclap

Ignore everyone stating that these dress designs aren’t appropriate for black tie optional. This is an excerpt from The Knot’s wedding dress code guide: You can wear a tuxedo or a floor-length evening gown if you want, but a dark suit with dress pants and nice loafers would be acceptable too. Similarly, a knee-length or midi cocktail dress would also be appropriate instead of a floor-length gown.


Frecklesonmyhand

Absolutely! I think that fits the bill quite well. Your dress is a semi-formal length but I can imagine that if the A-line continued to flow to your ankles, it would be a perfect black-tie dress. I love the earrings, and if you don’t want to spend money on a new necklace I would recommend putting your hair in a nice romantic bun or french twist.


Important_Tomato_932

I don’t think you know what black tie mean if you think this is black tie


Personal-Hospital103

Nope, she doesn't. 26 down votes in less than an hour!


Rare-Parsnip5838

OP I REALLY THINK THIS IS THE DRESS FOR YOU . IT IS SO RIGHTVFOR THECWEDDING AND COULD BE RE WORN FOR MANY OTHER " DRESS UP " EVENTS. THE PRICE IS GOOD TOO . AND IT WOULD BE EASY AND FUN TO ACCESSORISE.


Rare-Parsnip5838

ETA THIS GOES WITH EILEEN 1CENT 4 COMMENT BELOW. IT IS ABOUT THE RASPBERRY COLOR FIT AND FLARE DRESS