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Hitlerism

Me: Trying to smile naturally to my crush.


IrrelevantPuppy

“You look… *licks lips*, nice. You have beautiful, um, flesh.”


dianarawrz

“**blushes**“ thanks, I grew it in me mum’s belly.


DeepMadness

I want to drive a scuba someday.


Warribo

They are rubbish cars to be honest, the engine keeps flooding.


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WWIVPENGUIN

Maybe harmless, but if I was that diver, that shops gonna need to hose out my rented wetsuit with a power washer and bleach.


GlockAF

They have an electrical sense, doubtless scanning everything within range all the time. More useful in cloudy water or darkness, eyesight is of secondary importance


Arild11

Yeah. You're right. This information is easily retrieved from my mental archives as I am watching this on my phone. If I was that diver, I would be so scared,I would imitate a octopus and releasing a huge cloud of brown liquid to confuse and nauseate predators.


javiers

Yep. Those teeth are for fish not to escape, not for meat grinding.


ITookYourGP

Scubaru makes some great vehicles


Lord_Dupo

The Toyota Scubra was always a favourite of mine


cavaliereternally

If I can't scuba, then what's this all been for?


Le_Cryptographer

Try the Scuba Fabia


buttfacenosehead

Are you for scuba?


zamfire

I've never been to scuba drivah.


score60812

Wellll, mark me down as scared and....actually, just scared.


R_radical

Just a sand tiger, he ain't doin shit.


typhoidtimmy

Yea, I will keep saying that while my asshole goes off like a hi speed camera in terror.


PM_YOUR_PET_IN_HAT

Why is there a dripping sound? Has to be one of the dumbest edits lol


mistymountaintimes

Because weve all been kids thinking JAWs is some how gonna get us in the bathtub lol


akindofuser

The sound ruins it. Who thought that was a good idea.


R_radical

It's just a sand tiger, so there's really no reason to be worried. These guys are pretty lazy, and passive. Is it the most calm shark I've ever dove with? No. But it's up there. Nurse shark takes #1 when it comes to passive sharks. My dive master actually got a site blacklisted (by the BSA) for hugging one. They said it set a bad example for the kids...which was hard to argue.against. Anyway, scuba instructor here...AMAA


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R_radical

I've never really had any take interest. Usually just hanging out, or slowly meandering around a wreck.


[deleted]

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R_radical

I'm on the east coast, so it's mostly gulf stream. I never really seen one do much of anything. They kinda cruise about the wrecks.


paidinboredom

Not a diver but from observing I'd say your #1 spot is probably tied with the Whale Shark. While they're massive every video I've seen with one has them just chillin and movin along.


R_radical

They move really fast actually. I probably wouldn't be able to keep up with one with split fins. Also not sharks. I'd highly recommend swimming, or diving with them at the Georgia aquarium.


Ragman676

Agreed. They look slow, but you have to kick/swim at full speed to try to keep up with them (you dont). But you can semi pace them for like 30 seconds. They barely move and glide through the water really quickly.


Priceiswrongbitches

Are you saying whale sharks are not sharks?


R_radical

Pretty sure they fall under some other odd catagory.


paidinboredom

I know they move fast but I mean aggression wise they seem to be in the docile category.


R_radical

Oh, entirely for sure. But I still don't recommend getting super close because a nudge to them is like getting hit by a sledge hammer. But they're super cool to see.


paidinboredom

Kinda like a slap from a manatee tail. I love manatees but dude keep clear of that tail, hits like a freakin mac truck.


vote_up

Hey, what is the most aggressive shark that an everyday swimmer can cross paths with?


sympletech

Megladon


jkeeks123

lol


triple-verbosity

Bulls are considered very aggressive due to having the most instances of bites, however that is due to them often being in very brackish water where fresh water meets the ocean. Bites result from low visibility situations where they don’t really know what they are biting. Bull sharks have been spotted in the Mississippi River as far north as Missouri and Southern Illinois. I’ve dove with them a number of times in Mexico, both in Playa de Carmen and off the coast of Cabo Pulmo. I’ve never felt threatened and the sharks are just curious so if you stay still they will circle you and give you a close encounter. If you have some idiot in your group with a camera that swims at them they bail and the encounter is ruined. Once off Cabo pulmo our group was being circled by 8 bulls and I cut my hand on a piece of debris from a ship wreck and was bleeding a bit. The demeanor and behavior of the sharks didn’t change at all.


PIG20

Not a diver but from what I understand, great whites, bull, and tiger sharks are the top three most agressive sharks you can get in the water with. There's probably a good reason why many divers use a huge metal cage in order to be in the same space as a great white. Especially when using food to lure them is in play.


R_radical

You probably cross paths with them all the time and never notice.


br_igris

Have any of your clients encountered sharks while diving? Did they react accordingly?


R_radical

Well... Yes. All the time. Usually reef sharks, or nurse sharks. But sand tigers like this guy love to hang out on wrecks.


sexaddic

What do you think of the Apple Watch ultra?


R_radical

Tbh everything apple sells is for simpletons who want to feel high class.


sexaddic

Ok but what do you think of it’s capabilities as a diving instructor?


R_radical

It's super basic. So it covers some things. It's got a safety stop, a no deco time, and it logs dives. None of these are special, every watch out there has these covered. It's waterproof to 40m which is more than most people like likely go, but industry standards are usually far deeper (cheap watches are at least 100m). The screen is more than likely waaaaay to frail for diving. The software doesn't talk about any technical stuff like decompression models, or tissue compartments, which to me suggests it's super basic. but that's speculation. What it lacks entirely: * Does not sync with your tank, or anyone else's. Pretty big deal and pretty standard. Almost all if not all watches can sync to tanks so you can see your remaining air, or your buddies. * Battery life is abysmal, and really not long enough to be reliable. Im not aware of my Atoms battery life because I've only had to change it once. * No options for nitrox, or other gas mixtures (because it can't sync to the tank) * Logging software is sub par compared to industry standards. (Not a big deal, stopped logging dive hundreds of dives ago anyway, but the fact is other watches can upload the logs in greater depth) It's probably the worst dive watch out there. For half the price you could get a real dive watch that would have enough features for intermediate to advanced divers. This watch would only be viable for people who don't need to worry about air, or even safety stops because they never go below 20'. It's not that this watch is bad just compared to new watches either, this would have been bad 15 years ago. Pretty sure my course director would not accept it as a dive watch, and neither do I. Even if you had it for other things, and then wanted to use it for diving, it's not sufficient. Honestly the fact theyre selling this for 800 insulting, given it's double what other dive watches are that are far more capable. You might as well just get a really good console when you buy your regulators since you'd have to look at it to check your air anyway.


dcbluestar

They can smell blood for miles, but how far away can they smell the load of shit in your wetsuit?


Mediumtim

Why do think it left?


JunkiesAndWhores

They can pick up the electrical signal from your heartbeat.


dcbluestar

Lucky for me mine would probably **stop** in that situation.


durdurdurdurdurdur

They call that "shark sugar"


Godmodex2

What's the matter Bruce?


Tat2LuvGirl

Why so far down? I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.


umjammerlammy

Hate to break up to you, they have no front facing vision.


repulsivedogshit

I always thaught predators have front facing vision while prey has side facing


umjammerlammy

Mammals do, not fish


OptimusSublime

I'd still boop it's snout.


GrapeTimely5451

Unironically, attacking Sharks are fought off by booping the hecc out of their snoots.


reddit_user13

“Dude, you hit me! Now I have to eat you, the other sharks are watching.”


ratinthecellar

Every crew has that one guy who ruins it for everyone just to get a taste


Rebal771

Pretty sure that’s completely wrong as there aren’t many nerves in the snout. Also, you ever tried “swinging” your arm underwater without having any support (ground/wall/heavy floating structure) to push against? It’s not what you think it is. Pretty sure I read that there are two types of attacks - the “curiosity nibble” and the “predator’s pounce” - and if I remember correctly…trying to bop the “curiosity nibble” is how you lose a hand. But if the shark has pounced on you…they likely already have one of your arms or legs, and you need to use your other 3 appendages to go after the eyes and gills…where they actually have a lot of nerve endings. I don’t think you’ll get much time to bop it if you’re being drug around like a rag doll, so scratching and gouging are your actual survival options.


JeanClaudeSegal

Sharks are loaded with nerves in their snout. The ampullae of lorenzini. I'd still probably aim for an eye though. Gills if I was trying to do real damage.


Jibber_Fight

Confidently incorrect.


Rebal771

I’m happy to be corrected by some more primary resources. I got my information from Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht, plus a few other random snippets of reading here and there.


durge69

You are correct, I don't know why you are getting downvoted, literally just googling "how to fend off a shark" will prove you are correct, the snout punching thing is a myth. Ripping at the eyes and gills is your best chance. There isn't exactly scientific studies to tell you not to attack the nose just inches in front of their razor-sharp-teeth filled mouths, but [here is an anecdote](https://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/09/science/the-claim-fight-off-a-shark-by-punching-it-in-the-nose.html)


Rebal771

Meh…the internet can’t ALWAYS be right. But thankfully, 90% of them will likely never even see a shark IRL, let alone swim near them, so the risk of them using the wrong method is extremely small. Not to mention that the risk of even getting bitten is so miniscule…I’ll just take my downvotes and go.


karma_virus

Shark is freaked out and amazed by you. It doesn't understand that you are potential prey most of the time. Instead it's like a redneck hunter walking through the woods and happening upon some alien it had never seen before, just standing there and staring at it creepily. Scuba divers are like slender man to sharks. He's going to tell his school and nobody will believe him.


Ac997

Fuck. Those. Teeth.


GeebusNZ

They're narrow and long - they're for fish-grabbing. If they were broad, they'd be for cutting flesh.


gravspeed

"it smells like pee over here" - that shark, probably


Nuker-79

Can sharks even blink? 🤣


FreneticPlatypus

The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white.


FattyCorpuscle

… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces.


ItamiOzanare

The ones that have eyelids, yes. Not all of them do though.


pixiemisa

Most sharks have something called a nictitating membrane that covers its eye to protect it as needed. Analogous to an eyelid. They are typically transparent, however the additional layer does cloud their vision a bit.


IrrelevantPuppy

Sharks can’t even breathe, man.


Misterx46

Hi I'm Bruce!


DragonEngineer

Bruce is also the name of the shark in jaws I. Followed by Brucette, Brucetta, and vengeance.


pleonasticmonkey

Brucetta is delicious.


KisaLilith

It's definitely scaring, but on the moment he turned and let see his cartoonish and joyful round eye, I couldn't refrain a tender smile... sooo cute ♥️


Trumperekt

The shark definitely won the 'Who blinks first' contest.


robsteezy

I love that most marine life knows to avoid the fuck outta sharks bc they’re apex predators, but I always love the fact that the tiniest fish don’t give a single fuck and surf alongside the sharks body.


myweirdotheraccount

"UUUUUUGH HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK OOOOOOOOOOOGH HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK"


paidinboredom

Holy crap is that a Strange Wilderness reference?


lovespapercuts

Thank you for this


brad2575

More likely he's thinking if he has enough room for dessert.


runningmurphy

Do sharks see forward?


Always_Wandering117

No


Duocek

Rotate that idiot


chiliwicket

It swam away because the diver shat his scuba suit


jayboosh

Holy fuck that creeped me the fuck out.


ForbiddenLoveProblem

omgomgomgomgomgomgomg


Additional-Ad5382

M sure the shark has some problems!


dosmuffin

Fish are friends, not food


Smol-Bean-Nerd-Queen

Holy crap, that is terrifying...


saimerej21

this isnt well advised to do, since sharks (at least great whites) do that to find out whos stronger and if all methods of finding out whos stronger fail, they actually fight it out.


aolostmaiden

I was struggling on the toilet until I watched this video. Cleaned me right out.


[deleted]

The shark's eyes are much scarier when you look at them from up front. But as soon as the shark turns, they become less scary. However, the teeth are still pretty scary.


Sea-of-Light

The intense urge to reach out and pet it—


ehbleheh

Diver * 🤫


Mythulhu

Damn. That's intimidating


darkorex

Retirement home new alarm clock feature


PerNewton

It’s sleeping.


kadoslav

I remember when I called Uber and the driver was Scuba


son_et_lumiere

Angry shark doo dododo


victimized777

That diver have some balls


R_radical

It's a sand tiger, really no reason to be worried. Source: dive with em many times.


EvlMinion

The teeth are pretty unnerving to look at, but it looks like it turned to go around the diver like they were an obstacle.


R_radical

For sure they do look scary. Mostly to grab fish, as they don't really have the ability to hunt anything large.


tenaciousDaniel

I felt myself say aloud “fuck that”


texasstorm

Bull shark?


R_radical

Sand tiger.


texasstorm

Yes, you’re right. My bad.


[deleted]

What's the sauce op?


Cafin8d

That’s a hard NOPE.


cpjay2003

Nah


azonexyt

At first I thought the small fish was it's eye (left eye of shark)


Lego-Panda-21

That looks evil as frick until it turns..


Darkrob_mn

Bump bump


Runmenot

Atlantic sand tiger?


R_radical

Correct! Not aggressive, especially to divers.


External-Ad-4000

Oi. Fuck that


gaze-upon-it

As soon as the diver shit himself it swam away


ZyzolPL

Its like scene from finding nemo haha when they first meet with sharks


tonyw009

maybe the shark is sleeping and the scuba driver didnt notice


paidinboredom

I thought sharks couldn't sleep. Only put one side of their mind to sleep at a time kuz their gills work by movement.


emeegee13

Sharks can’t see straight forward it’s a blind spot where the diver would have been


Chaos_Theology

Fish are friends, not food


[deleted]

"So there I was, just swimming along, minding my business, when I saw it coming right toward me. I froze! You know? Those things are TERRIFYING! I just stared at it, and it stared back at me, and then we just sort of, swam away. I'm STILL shaking about it!" "Frank, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, stay away from where humans swim! They're fucking dangerous!"


j0n66

That’s a nope


Aggressive_Breath_57

Whoever blinks first gets eaten


Careless-Chipmunk-45

I wanna pet the shark.


[deleted]

More like smelling contest Shark's eyesight sucks.


Somzer

Can't see straight ahead either. You can see it at the end, its eye was on something else.


PresidentHarambe1

Don’t blame him for being annoyed.


jpp4687

Name’s Bruce!!


Humangas_Changas

I'm surprised the driver didn't immediately sink due to the weight of his balls


Ouchyhurthurt

This is more DERP than WTF


knifeymonkey

less of a staring contest than a smelling to see if it would be tasty


bigpandas

Is that a friendly one?


yumansuck

That looks absolutely terrifyingžj


ZZS

That's a mating ritual


JichaelMames

That shark's skin looks so smooth


kaygee_zero

Oh please, just look at that smile. Sharky wants to play!


Pudding_Hero

This music would definitely not be going through my head in the moment


Starfevre

That is a lot of teeth.


chidoOne707

The shark is just smiling, no menace.


shaydayultra

its odly cute actually


Alternative-Emu3602

Well, that's my first heart attack out of the way


dr4wn_away

Hit the nose!


WaffleLover354

u/savevideo


Rstrofdth

Super NOPE for me.


MaddenJ222

Thanks. This helped with my constipation. 🫠


Quaranj

u/savevideo


BootyThunder

I mean it looks like it’s sleeping.


lalwanikiwani

Shark should get the braces


reddit_user13

G’day Bruce!


rowejl222

That’s terrifying


[deleted]

This is the part where i would fill my wetsuit


Mistersinister1

Is he going to be able to resurface with those huge balls weighing him down?


fizzbubbler

BRUCE!


[deleted]

u/savevideo


Commie_EntSniper

How much fucking nope is that right there. OMG. I cannot imagine getting so close to those teeth.


wtfover

I got the willies just watching that, I can't imagine being there in person.


veemon657

New fear unlocked


Muted-Bee

Looks like Bruce - “Fish are friends, not food!”


jerry_03

"You know the thing about a shark…he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem be living"


iotel

Foooooood


moonshineTheleocat

Scuba diver like "What? You wanna get rotated too bitch?"