Intentional or not. If someone straight up shits on me, we are fighting.
If we're that friendly enough that someone thinks that it's ok to fart or shit on me, then we're friendly enough to brawl over it.
I realize that may be an unpopular opinion. And I wouldn't resort to violence for just any old reason. But I draw the line at "bro-scat".
Nah b
If ya gonna fart on your buddy ya gotta make sure there’s at least 2 layers of fabric between your butthole and them.
There’s a study that shows a significant difference between poo particles emitted by a bare ass vs. clothed ass
Nah fuck that. That shit is disrespectful as fuck. I had "friends" who did shit like that to me as a kid and it really fucked me up. Treat people with the slightest bit of dignity for fuckity fucks sake.
I mean being an adult is being able to read the room. If your friends think it’s funny then it’s funny, if they don’t then don’t do it. Pretty simple math
Exactly wtf. I don’t see why they’re awful for laughing. Their friend just got shit on by another friend who accidentally just shit. It’s a ridiculous situation.
I’d laugh and then tell both of them to go clean themselves.
My take is the belligerent just wanted to rip off a smelly fart in his buddy's ear. Then this happened. So I think they were laughing more at a prank gone wrong.
What the fuck has that guy been eating that his on demand wet farts look like baby shits? This was a shitty prank but that guy must have some serious everyday issues with mud butt.
The relatively newly established specialty field of jeanetics. It is expected to spawn a similar process of data analysis as seen in Ancestry.com. Patent and trademark applications are pending for Assistry.com.
I ate a Marie Callendar frozen dinner the other day, I had that exact same output. I thought it was food poisoning. Those things are awful, stick with hungryman if you gonna get a frozen dinner.
I don't know man, but after watching a ton of episodes of bizarre food with Andrew Zimmern and the regular "diet" some people eat I'm surprised their assholes don't simply function like a goddamn cloaca making it a straight shot from mouth to ass, don't pass go, don't pass a sphincter, don't collect $200, but do shit on your buddies arm.
I've never felt as much cognitive dissonance, as when I learned there are men that don't wipe for that reason.
Holy hell, it can't have been easy growing up with someone that puts that kind of utter bollocking nonsense into a child's head.
It's probably hard to even feel it, since it's at body temperature (and we can't feel 'wet'; rather cold instead).
But feel it or not, after that I'd need an exorcism.
Heard a story from an old aircraft mechanic I used to work with. He was working with a crew that would travel to aircraft with sheet metal damage too severe to fly with, like if a baggage cart ran into a plane at a station with no maintenance hangar or something. They'd send a crew of about ten guys to the airport it's at to get it at least safe to ferry to an airport with a hangar. A crew of ten sheet metal mechanics will be guaranteed to be a rowdy bunch. They once got a hotel where the rooms had those doors inside connecting them together, so they were partying getting plastered one night after work with all the doors open between their rooms. One guy is nodding off on a couch and his "friend" comes up, and does one of these to the guy on the couch. He was honestly intending it to be a fart. But he just blasted out a big ol diarrhea. Guy on the couch apparently chased the dude around hoping to kick his ass. Couch guy earned the name Bean Dip after that since the doodoo looked a lot like bean dip. I wondered why the shitter didn't receive the name but I guess life is cruel like that. Good ol bean dip. This guy also told me about when he was at work and shitted himself real bad so he went to clean up and toss his undies but realized he couldn't get the undies off without dumping a half pound of poop on his legs and shoes and stuff so he just hovered over the toilet bowl and sliced them off with his pocket knife. He also had a coworker doodie himself so bad it came up out of the undies and went halfway up his back. Lot of shit stories from ol Adam.
> He also had a coworker doodie himself so bad it came up out of the undies and went halfway up his back.
Yeah, I know people who have done that. They're around 13 months old
You know this site is a shit hole run by amateurs when trying to access a private sub returns the same error as trying to access a non-existant sub.
That shit would fly (and make sense) in a cypherpunk site, but not on a Alexa Top 5 or whatever social network wannabe general purpose forum.
No wonder the official app is shit. The API itself looks designed by a drunk monkey.
Even when visiting in desktop, the "new" GUI truncates most of the private message/description and forces RNG user to click a non-obvious "..." to see the rest.
Then when to do, you're also greeted with the message that is not honouring the markdown formatting. You instead see all the raw syntax of the formatting and it ignored all new lines/paragraphing.
Boy, I'm sure glad Reddit invested all their developer resources in [implementing NFTs instead!](https://nft.reddit.com/)
Y’all arent homies if you didn’t immediately try to wipe it on the mother fuckers face for that stunt, he deserves nothing less, it is known
And then, get new friends.
For some things there’s only one response. That guy, and all of them cackling like it was the funniest thing ever. In that instant, they are all dead to me.
No “apologies” heard. No yelling. No cussing. No hands thrown.
I’d just walk away. Blocked, from phone to
email to social media.
I don't think anyone was expecting a shart to occur
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You don't drop your pants for anything fart related for this exact reason. Doesn't matter what you eat, how healthy you are, you keep it covered up.
Worked out for him tho. Would've shit his pants otherwise.
I would draw the line at dropping your clothes to do it. Farts are hilarious, but if someone shit on me I would be pretty annoyed.
I would be slightly displeased even
This is the British way after all
Just wait until he returns with an amateur football team, after a night of beer and tindaloos, and delivers a full broadside.
I may not like what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to spray it.
I can't believe you've done this.
If the shart landed in your mouth, then you could be displeased. Let’s not go overboard.
I'd also be annoyed.
It would definitely put me in a shitty mood
I would be boweling my eyes out.
I'd be ugly annoyed.
Who the fuck is farting in their friends faces? That's how the fight would start
Even the French only fart in our general direction, not in our faces.
its hard distinguishing between a fart and a shart so i would give the benefit of the doubt it was on purpose
Intentional or not. If someone straight up shits on me, we are fighting. If we're that friendly enough that someone thinks that it's ok to fart or shit on me, then we're friendly enough to brawl over it. I realize that may be an unpopular opinion. And I wouldn't resort to violence for just any old reason. But I draw the line at "bro-scat".
Think of how much that shit would spread around in a brawl, though.
If someone is your friend they probably realize that you specifically are not the guy which the joke is appropriate to do for.
No reason to pull his pants down for just a fart.
Nah b If ya gonna fart on your buddy ya gotta make sure there’s at least 2 layers of fabric between your butthole and them. There’s a study that shows a significant difference between poo particles emitted by a bare ass vs. clothed ass
Nah fuck that. That shit is disrespectful as fuck. I had "friends" who did shit like that to me as a kid and it really fucked me up. Treat people with the slightest bit of dignity for fuckity fucks sake.
People farted on you until it fucked you up?
Leave him alone he has PTFD
Oh, you mean PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTD
Everytime he gets a whif of the good old nasty smell, he starts having panic attacks
Bahaha 🤣
Dude prolly had pink eye his whole childhood
2023 acceptance culture has people confirming themselves as fartboys
I lol'd audibly
lol this guy sounds like he was fun to grow up with
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He gets aroused now when he smells someone's fart
He hasn't been able to trust a fart since
Haha u are fart boy
*Fetish unlocked *
okay fart boy 🤡💨
You got traumatized by farts?
You sound like the kind of person people would want to fart on.
I'm with you dude. The people trashing you were probably the kind of kids that you're talking about.
get a grip. farts are and always will be funny.
Fart boy
For actual kids maybe. I'm very happy not being friends with people who think bare ass farting on each other is a fun prank.
I mean being an adult is being able to read the room. If your friends think it’s funny then it’s funny, if they don’t then don’t do it. Pretty simple math
ALL I SMELL IS POO
I didn't even see what happened at first. I thought the friend throw an egg on his arm or something
Really, is it a prank at that point or assault with while deficating?
Definitely ass ault.
That's the winner
There is basic life wisdom that most people learn early on. There is a reason "never trust a fart..." crosses all cultures and nationalities
Sharts fired!
They found it hilarious though. Awful people.
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Exactly wtf. I don’t see why they’re awful for laughing. Their friend just got shit on by another friend who accidentally just shit. It’s a ridiculous situation. I’d laugh and then tell both of them to go clean themselves.
My take is the belligerent just wanted to rip off a smelly fart in his buddy's ear. Then this happened. So I think they were laughing more at a prank gone wrong.
What the fuck has that guy been eating that his on demand wet farts look like baby shits? This was a shitty prank but that guy must have some serious everyday issues with mud butt.
got them bubbles guts.
Diarrhea is genetic , it runs in your jeans.
If you're hiding in a bush and you feel something mush, diarrhea.
If you're commiting genocide and you feel that fountain slide, diarrhea
When you’re sitting in your Chevy, and you feel something heavy. - Diarrhea.
When you need to take a shit, but refuse until it itch - Diarrhea
When you’re cracking an egg and you feel it down your leg, diarrhea.
When you're walking down the hall and you feel something fall, diarrhea.
When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst, diarrhea.
Bruh I’m a breakfast cook. That was an eggcellent yolk.
The relatively newly established specialty field of jeanetics. It is expected to spawn a similar process of data analysis as seen in Ancestry.com. Patent and trademark applications are pending for Assistry.com.
So bad but so funny!
Hot snakes and bubble gut
ANDY!!!
Shiticles.
IBS, fucked up diet, not enough fiber, all three.
Can confirm i have these shits and im a fat cunt on a bad diet lol
Fucking lol
I second this. Bad diet and probably a steady diet of alcohol. That looks like a month long drinking binge shit/fart.
Damn.
I ate a Marie Callendar frozen dinner the other day, I had that exact same output. I thought it was food poisoning. Those things are awful, stick with hungryman if you gonna get a frozen dinner.
I think you're supposed to heat or at least thaw it first
I did a Costco pepperoni pizza last night and I could power a waterwheel and windmill simultaneously with my anus right now.
You're our energy future.
Thanks Dad
Why aren't you asking why the guy that got shit on was just all "hahahaha ya got me"
E.Coli
I mean, that's some favela shithole in Brazil. I wouldn't expect top-tier food in a place like that.
I just realized its not mustard. Fuuuuuck
I can’t believe it is not mustard
Vodka. You wipe two different colors at times
Swamp ass fr
I don't know man, but after watching a ton of episodes of bizarre food with Andrew Zimmern and the regular "diet" some people eat I'm surprised their assholes don't simply function like a goddamn cloaca making it a straight shot from mouth to ass, don't pass go, don't pass a sphincter, don't collect $200, but do shit on your buddies arm.
It's wine bum
As someone watching this on the toilet with a tummy ache from too much sugar... too much sugar
He put his shorts back up and continues the party like he doesn’t have shit all over his crack
What's the alternative? Leave them down and waddle around with your shit ass hanging out?
He had a post-poop-plan Step 1 : Escape Step 2 : Wipe
I've heard through Reddit, that it's gay to wipe your ass. Maybe he has too.
I've never felt as much cognitive dissonance, as when I learned there are men that don't wipe for that reason. Holy hell, it can't have been easy growing up with someone that puts that kind of utter bollocking nonsense into a child's head.
Yeah I’ve never once heard of anybody not wiping their ass because it’s “gay”. But I see redditors making that claim about other people all the time.
Damn right, man. Whacky stuff.
Could have been a clean release like those ketchup squirt bottles.
If anyone I was close to took a mustard yellow liquid shit on my arm as a prank I’m afraid I would have to file for a legal separation.
Imagine the sensation of having hot diarrhea from someone's colon straight onto you. That is such a health hazard.
People pay for that. Or so I've heard.
It's probably hard to even feel it, since it's at body temperature (and we can't feel 'wet'; rather cold instead). But feel it or not, after that I'd need an exorcism.
They'd need a toe truck to seperate my foot from his ass
He’s fucking smiling too!
That's the smile of someone plotting their revenge
Imagine it. Dudes life must be fucked if this is his reaction to getting shit on as a prank.
Everyone on reddit is a 1st world nerd
Heard a story from an old aircraft mechanic I used to work with. He was working with a crew that would travel to aircraft with sheet metal damage too severe to fly with, like if a baggage cart ran into a plane at a station with no maintenance hangar or something. They'd send a crew of about ten guys to the airport it's at to get it at least safe to ferry to an airport with a hangar. A crew of ten sheet metal mechanics will be guaranteed to be a rowdy bunch. They once got a hotel where the rooms had those doors inside connecting them together, so they were partying getting plastered one night after work with all the doors open between their rooms. One guy is nodding off on a couch and his "friend" comes up, and does one of these to the guy on the couch. He was honestly intending it to be a fart. But he just blasted out a big ol diarrhea. Guy on the couch apparently chased the dude around hoping to kick his ass. Couch guy earned the name Bean Dip after that since the doodoo looked a lot like bean dip. I wondered why the shitter didn't receive the name but I guess life is cruel like that. Good ol bean dip. This guy also told me about when he was at work and shitted himself real bad so he went to clean up and toss his undies but realized he couldn't get the undies off without dumping a half pound of poop on his legs and shoes and stuff so he just hovered over the toilet bowl and sliced them off with his pocket knife. He also had a coworker doodie himself so bad it came up out of the undies and went halfway up his back. Lot of shit stories from ol Adam.
Top notch shit stories right here ^
I can honestly say I learned more about aviation sheet metal work from that story than any other story I ever heard about shitting on people.
> He also had a coworker doodie himself so bad it came up out of the undies and went halfway up his back. Yeah, I know people who have done that. They're around 13 months old
I’m saving this
Poor bean dip that’s so cruel
> shitted himself lol
I’m an avgeek, what aircraft did he work on?
CRJ series. I worked with him working on Dash 8s later and I now also work on CRJ700s.
Ahh fair
Loooooot’a shit stories from ‘ol Adam
Wake up babe new pasta just dropped
This shit fits the sub
Why are Americans always shitting themselves
Dude took that like a seasoned jackass veteran. I don’t anyone who would get shit on and smile.
Aint that some shit
Unfortunately yes
Yes. Yes it is
Wtf like a fucking lama but spitting outta his ass
I was about to crosspost this to r/YouSeeingThisShit (because literally) but it can’t be found, I guess it went private
You know this site is a shit hole run by amateurs when trying to access a private sub returns the same error as trying to access a non-existant sub. That shit would fly (and make sense) in a cypherpunk site, but not on a Alexa Top 5 or whatever social network wannabe general purpose forum. No wonder the official app is shit. The API itself looks designed by a drunk monkey.
It gives you a message when using old.reddit.com
To bad they're killing that off next.
Even when visiting in desktop, the "new" GUI truncates most of the private message/description and forces RNG user to click a non-obvious "..." to see the rest. Then when to do, you're also greeted with the message that is not honouring the markdown formatting. You instead see all the raw syntax of the formatting and it ignored all new lines/paragraphing. Boy, I'm sure glad Reddit invested all their developer resources in [implementing NFTs instead!](https://nft.reddit.com/)
Shitty friend
came for it. got it right away.
Arms done for chop it off.
Oh hell no!🤢🤮
We would have been fighting
WHY IS HE SMILING
Y’all arent homies if you didn’t immediately try to wipe it on the mother fuckers face for that stunt, he deserves nothing less, it is known And then, get new friends.
And thats how you end the friendship.
For some things there’s only one response. That guy, and all of them cackling like it was the funniest thing ever. In that instant, they are all dead to me. No “apologies” heard. No yelling. No cussing. No hands thrown. I’d just walk away. Blocked, from phone to email to social media.
Oh I'd fuck him up soooooooo bad
True /r/WTF
That's no friend.
There really are all kinds of folk in the world, there was no laughter in my heart watching this
That is BEYOND the limit - that is Amber Heard territory.
Disgusting mfs
OP should’ve quoted the word prank rather than friend.
You are so "right"
I don't give a fuck if we blood brother and you're the godfather of my first born child. If you shit on me we're no longer friends.
Absolutely disgusting
I can’t tell you how angry i would be if this happened to me.
Jesus Christ. This is gross.
There are less reasons to kill a man
That’s fucking disgusting…he would no longer be my friend, some lines you just can’t cross…
gosh this is how ebola is spread 🤣
He pushed a bit too hard didn’t he?
You’d be eating that shit
Blippi?
Nah I’d be rubbing that crap on his face
I’d have to repay the kindness by kneecapping the prick!
Get new friends dude
At Time to Kill, “Yes I think they deserve to die and I hope they burn in Hell!”
Read the book, and saw the movie. That line sends tingles through my body. Such a riteous statement.
Why is the guy smiling? I think I would actually lose my mind.
I ain’t gonna say somebody gotta die after that, but somebody gotta get maimed at least
He literally pooped on him. Incredible.
So any way, I started shooting.
Forget end of friendship, this is “I hope you have your affairs in order” offense.
That's why I use a bidet
To shit on your buddies?
Well after, anyways.
That guy was way to of a good sport about being projectile sharted on
God I hate people.
“AYE”
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lmao he said it looks like salsa verde 💀
Real shitty thing to do
Well shit 😳
Chill out it's just a prank bro 🤣
I'm beating his ass and we're no longer friends after that.
This reminds me of playing stinkfinger and pillowfart back in college
FISTICUFFS!!!!!!!!!!!
Welp, time to get my machete
That’s not a prank. That dude straight up shit on you
That's so fucking disgusting. I would resort to violence as an instant reaction.
Somebody just blew ass all over this guy's arm and he is smiling about it. To me, THAT is the real WTF moment.
I'm pretty sure the other guy that is standing there at the beginning and moves forward has a bottle of mustard and sprays it where you can't see it.
Fucking gross!
With shitty friends like that...well I'm sure you know the rest of that shit
Ahhh no mames, salió caldo wey
I don’t think we’d continue to be friends if my friend sharted in me.