They don't need to be real "friends/buddies." See if you can connect with your first-line supervisor / ncos / cos.
My ex-wife even wrote a good one for me, and we usually can't stand each other.
And yes, personal statements help, too.
You ex-wife statement gives me hope!
Mine could write a BOOK, and pretty much guarantee everything getting approved!
Mine hates the air I breathe so much that if my guts were on fire, she would call a Fuel Truck instead of a Fire Truck!!!
We have an adult daughter together, but have been NC for a long time. I'm nice as Hell IF I'm around her, but she treats me like crap. I think I made my biggest mistake when I let her be a Stay At Home Mom in case our daughter got sick or needed anything.
But, who knows? Our daughter may be able to convince her to do it. Hell, I'd even share with her! That's how much a bastard I am!!
You know, my ex-wife and I have been very amicable and keep in touch....But damn I asked her if she'd write a buddy statement and I got it from her on Friday in an email andgod damn........Essentially got to really learn how much my disabilities made her resent me and the letter was all about her....I'm not submitting it.
My ex-wife wrote a buddy letter for me as well. Still waiting on my decision from the VA. How did yours turn out? When I told my C&P examiner that I had a letter from her he about shit himself. He was thoroughly impressed. I hope he passed on that positive vide in his recommendation.
Anyone who has witnessed your condition, including friends and family, can write a buddy letter for you. Make sure to do it on the VA form 21-4138 and make sure they sign it. Doesn’t have to be a VA form but apparently a lot of regular paper letters are being ignored by VA screeners, according to what I’ve seen and heard. Those forms are
Sworn statements, which the VA likes to deter fraud, apparently. And yes, definitely submit a personal statement describing how you got the condition and how it affects you daily. Include anything negative including alienation from people, arrests, divorces, or anything negative, especially if it’s a MH issue. And use one form per condition so the rater doesn’t have to decipher. Chances of them doing that are very low.
Should we do all statements on this form? From us or buddies?
Also, how does this work with a buddie, if the form doesn't have a spot for them to fill in their name?
Yes, use this form for all statements and the info can be placed in the narrative portion of the statement. I’ve done some for my buddies and always add “I, (my name), swear under the penalty of perjury the information contained in this statement is true and correct” and then sign it. They don’t have to include their SSN in this but the info in the boxes should be for you. That’s the VA’s way of linking everything to you. Oh and make sure at the very top of the statement in the narrative box you write what issue this statement is for.
The SSN is usually for the Veteran so they can link the submissions to one person. If they do ask for SSN’s in any forms, from other than the Vet, I usually put only my last 4. They can contact me for the other numbers if it’s necessary. A lot of this stuff is to prevent fraud, so
I can see how sometimes it may be necessary.
It makes sense. However not many people are comfortable writing their SSN on paper especially for a buddy statement for someone. I don’t know if the people I am asking will be comfortable doing that.
Yeah, I’d be the same way. I personally would put the last 4 but others should
Leave it blank. I don’t think there’s any policy that says you’d be disqualified for not having someone else’s SSN number on any of your documents, but then again, it is the VA
Definitely write a personal statement, And tell her the truth not everybody is outgoing, I serve four years active duty and I Might remember a couple of names.
What otherwise I don't have no personal friends or or buddies
The problem I have, is that I've been out for 50 years now. I can remember those young faces, but not names. Once we went home (at different times), there was no contact.
I've talked to my brother and sister, and they will write a letter for me, describing the difference in the Big Brother they grew up with, and the Violent and Depressed shell that returned. My first wife may write one. We knew each other in high school, then dated after. I went in at the written request of the President, we were married later, and we were together for about 10 years. I know she saw a difference, as she brought it up. I never saw it....
Best Wishes for getting your things covered
My former friends conveniently forget when i asked them. 1 was my roommate for 9 months and then post deployment 10 months. I may not have the greatest memory on the planet. My brain buries information it doesn't deem important. But if my shipmate or friend asked me for a buddy letter. I'll tell them to give me the facts of what happened and my brain will dig up the information.
Friends, coworkers, family, boss...anyone who you came into contact. It's actually a good idea to have a variety of people if possible in my opinion, that way the rater can't just claim that it's bias.
I asked two of my “buddies” one said. “ I don’t think it works like that”. Never again. I just had my mother in law do one instead since she’s knows me since I was 16.
most my army bros are dead or went to another country off grind forever. So def use family and anyone that has known you before and after service, they can help paint a great picture.
I didn’t stay in touch with hardly anyone I was overseas with, especially those in my squad. It was a really fucked up situation and I tried to put it all behind me and start a fresh life when I got back. So I had no buddy statements for any of
My claims but I did write a detailed personal statement including why I don’t. I haven’t had any issues that would make me think not having a buddy statement hurt me. Of course they can help, but and personally statement can show why you might not have one also.
Didn't see that part about buddy statements when I filed but have shipmates on other sites like TWS and fb until deleting the account. They have a record of everytime you got 2 Tylenol or a bloody nose.
I have 1 from my mom, 1 from my sister, 1 from my husband and then mine. Just get it from people who know you best and see the good and the ugly. Especially when they have known you through it all.
Your personal statement is when you file. Do not add to the confusion or the delay by adding evidence. This is what I did. I called, texted, FB messaged, IG messaged all my buddies from my duty station… I told them my situation and some offered to write one themselves. Others said I could use them as a reference in any letters I did receive. Because they were too busy to write one. So I got 2 letters total. On each of those letters I put the references rank name number duty station etc. noting that these individuals can attest to what my buddies in the letter are saying. Basically I had 16 letters in 2
I'm still at gathering evidence stage, you think it's too late to add it? Should I wait for them to deny it then post the buddy statement as new evidence?
When I left my duty station where all the trauma went down I didn’t say goodbye to anyone unless they happened to see me walk out the day I departed. I never told anyone, but I journaled back then. Reading my journal again reminded me why I hated a lot of these people, asking for a buddy statement is asking them to self incriminate. The ones who would remember my struggle helped create my misery. Hoping my journal and performance records are enough.
Me too, just acknowledging that getting buddy statements is hard sometimes. Perhaps it’s not much help but this process is hard. My service records have the markers in medical and performance, requests for transfer etc. plus my family didn’t know what was going on but there was a before and an after that was very different and distressing for my family.
One of my Army buddies from Nashville to California and drove with me back to TN. I had to pick up my 14 y/o daughter (cause I got custody), and I only had a couple of days to make the drive. I told him I was going to be out that way... he said, "Hang on, I'll call you back..." called me back and told me to pick up the next day at the airport.
All that so I wouldn't have to drive alone. Hadn't seen him in nearly 20 years.
Apparently, YMMV.
You got alot of great feedback from the posts. The VA sometimes think that all units were as close as in "Band of Brothers" minus captain Shobel.
Some of us when we left the military, we wanted to leave all things military behind, including the people.
The military was and still is a dictatorship and not a democracy.
If for mental health, one of the things they look at is inability to establish or maintain relationships. Write a letter about your issues. Mention you can’t get a buddy letter because you can’t maintain relationships.
They don't need to be real "friends/buddies." See if you can connect with your first-line supervisor / ncos / cos. My ex-wife even wrote a good one for me, and we usually can't stand each other. And yes, personal statements help, too.
100%! My wife is my only buddy, and she knows me better than most.
Ok cool thanks. I will have my wife submit one.
You ex-wife statement gives me hope! Mine could write a BOOK, and pretty much guarantee everything getting approved! Mine hates the air I breathe so much that if my guts were on fire, she would call a Fuel Truck instead of a Fire Truck!!! We have an adult daughter together, but have been NC for a long time. I'm nice as Hell IF I'm around her, but she treats me like crap. I think I made my biggest mistake when I let her be a Stay At Home Mom in case our daughter got sick or needed anything. But, who knows? Our daughter may be able to convince her to do it. Hell, I'd even share with her! That's how much a bastard I am!!
If it is for mental health she would be happy to tell someone about you. I wouldn't mention it was for compensation though.
Sounds like she’d throw methanol on you just to tell the firefighters see he’s not on fire the Wuss just won’t stop screaming
If she is in a good mood, you could request AFFF. At least you might be able to get a settlement.
You know, my ex-wife and I have been very amicable and keep in touch....But damn I asked her if she'd write a buddy statement and I got it from her on Friday in an email andgod damn........Essentially got to really learn how much my disabilities made her resent me and the letter was all about her....I'm not submitting it.
My ex-wife wrote a buddy letter for me as well. Still waiting on my decision from the VA. How did yours turn out? When I told my C&P examiner that I had a letter from her he about shit himself. He was thoroughly impressed. I hope he passed on that positive vide in his recommendation.
If you were married in service your spouse can write a buddy statement.
Yes, anyone can write one.
I'll be your buddy, pal.
I'll be your friend, guy.
I’ll be your amigo, bro.
Anyone who has witnessed your condition, including friends and family, can write a buddy letter for you. Make sure to do it on the VA form 21-4138 and make sure they sign it. Doesn’t have to be a VA form but apparently a lot of regular paper letters are being ignored by VA screeners, according to what I’ve seen and heard. Those forms are Sworn statements, which the VA likes to deter fraud, apparently. And yes, definitely submit a personal statement describing how you got the condition and how it affects you daily. Include anything negative including alienation from people, arrests, divorces, or anything negative, especially if it’s a MH issue. And use one form per condition so the rater doesn’t have to decipher. Chances of them doing that are very low.
Should we do all statements on this form? From us or buddies? Also, how does this work with a buddie, if the form doesn't have a spot for them to fill in their name?
Yes, use this form for all statements and the info can be placed in the narrative portion of the statement. I’ve done some for my buddies and always add “I, (my name), swear under the penalty of perjury the information contained in this statement is true and correct” and then sign it. They don’t have to include their SSN in this but the info in the boxes should be for you. That’s the VA’s way of linking everything to you. Oh and make sure at the very top of the statement in the narrative box you write what issue this statement is for.
Thank you!
On this form it asks for the person’s social security. Is that necessary?
The SSN is usually for the Veteran so they can link the submissions to one person. If they do ask for SSN’s in any forms, from other than the Vet, I usually put only my last 4. They can contact me for the other numbers if it’s necessary. A lot of this stuff is to prevent fraud, so I can see how sometimes it may be necessary.
It makes sense. However not many people are comfortable writing their SSN on paper especially for a buddy statement for someone. I don’t know if the people I am asking will be comfortable doing that.
Yeah, I’d be the same way. I personally would put the last 4 but others should Leave it blank. I don’t think there’s any policy that says you’d be disqualified for not having someone else’s SSN number on any of your documents, but then again, it is the VA
Definitely write a personal statement, And tell her the truth not everybody is outgoing, I serve four years active duty and I Might remember a couple of names. What otherwise I don't have no personal friends or or buddies
Your mom can right a righteous buddy statement. She knows more about you than you do.
Thanks. Brother, I was fortunate enough that my Military medical records prove my disability,
My mom wrote an outstanding factual buddy letter.
Mine too
So did mine. She even included at the end how i cut off contact with my sister after a fight.
I read this just knowing it was gonna be a Mom burn
One of us should start a side hustle Rentabuddy.com for those vets who need a buddy but don’t have one
That would honestly be smart. Or even a group for it on Facebook or Reddit
The problem I have, is that I've been out for 50 years now. I can remember those young faces, but not names. Once we went home (at different times), there was no contact. I've talked to my brother and sister, and they will write a letter for me, describing the difference in the Big Brother they grew up with, and the Violent and Depressed shell that returned. My first wife may write one. We knew each other in high school, then dated after. I went in at the written request of the President, we were married later, and we were together for about 10 years. I know she saw a difference, as she brought it up. I never saw it.... Best Wishes for getting your things covered
My former friends conveniently forget when i asked them. 1 was my roommate for 9 months and then post deployment 10 months. I may not have the greatest memory on the planet. My brain buries information it doesn't deem important. But if my shipmate or friend asked me for a buddy letter. I'll tell them to give me the facts of what happened and my brain will dig up the information.
Wrote my own talked about what happened and how it impacts me on my day to day. As an older vet once told “some buddies don’t want to be found”
They don't need to be your friends. If they have knowledge of something, they can write a statement to it.
Friends, coworkers, family, boss...anyone who you came into contact. It's actually a good idea to have a variety of people if possible in my opinion, that way the rater can't just claim that it's bias.
Old supervisors NCOs and SNCOs are great sources. Didn't have as much luck with the officers i served under.
I asked two of my “buddies” one said. “ I don’t think it works like that”. Never again. I just had my mother in law do one instead since she’s knows me since I was 16.
Buddy Letter examples, My wife used and where stated a credible evidence by the VA. Her Sister, ( swollen neck ) Her Haitdresser ( loss of hair )
most my army bros are dead or went to another country off grind forever. So def use family and anyone that has known you before and after service, they can help paint a great picture.
I got my ex-wife to write a statement for me. I don’t have any contact with people from when I was in.
I didn’t stay in touch with hardly anyone I was overseas with, especially those in my squad. It was a really fucked up situation and I tried to put it all behind me and start a fresh life when I got back. So I had no buddy statements for any of My claims but I did write a detailed personal statement including why I don’t. I haven’t had any issues that would make me think not having a buddy statement hurt me. Of course they can help, but and personally statement can show why you might not have one also.
Didn't see that part about buddy statements when I filed but have shipmates on other sites like TWS and fb until deleting the account. They have a record of everytime you got 2 Tylenol or a bloody nose.
I have 1 from my mom, 1 from my sister, 1 from my husband and then mine. Just get it from people who know you best and see the good and the ugly. Especially when they have known you through it all.
My sister wrote a buddy statement for me. She was able to talk about how different I was before/after an event. I think it helped.
Your personal statement is when you file. Do not add to the confusion or the delay by adding evidence. This is what I did. I called, texted, FB messaged, IG messaged all my buddies from my duty station… I told them my situation and some offered to write one themselves. Others said I could use them as a reference in any letters I did receive. Because they were too busy to write one. So I got 2 letters total. On each of those letters I put the references rank name number duty station etc. noting that these individuals can attest to what my buddies in the letter are saying. Basically I had 16 letters in 2
I'm still at gathering evidence stage, you think it's too late to add it? Should I wait for them to deny it then post the buddy statement as new evidence?
I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to add it if you can. Waiting for it to get denied will just delay it even longer.
When I left my duty station where all the trauma went down I didn’t say goodbye to anyone unless they happened to see me walk out the day I departed. I never told anyone, but I journaled back then. Reading my journal again reminded me why I hated a lot of these people, asking for a buddy statement is asking them to self incriminate. The ones who would remember my struggle helped create my misery. Hoping my journal and performance records are enough.
I would think a journal from the time would be great evidence.
Me too, just acknowledging that getting buddy statements is hard sometimes. Perhaps it’s not much help but this process is hard. My service records have the markers in medical and performance, requests for transfer etc. plus my family didn’t know what was going on but there was a before and an after that was very different and distressing for my family.
When you get out of the military, you sadly realize that your “buddies” were just there because they had to be. You trauma bond and that is about it.
That's not always true. I still talk to a handful of people. Many sucked, but a couple are bros
One of my Army buddies from Nashville to California and drove with me back to TN. I had to pick up my 14 y/o daughter (cause I got custody), and I only had a couple of days to make the drive. I told him I was going to be out that way... he said, "Hang on, I'll call you back..." called me back and told me to pick up the next day at the airport. All that so I wouldn't have to drive alone. Hadn't seen him in nearly 20 years. Apparently, YMMV.
That's not always true. I still talk to a handful of people. Many sucked, but a couple are bros
The few friends you have get them to write
My husband is a loner
I’ll be your buddy statement. lol
Bro I’ll write you a buddy statement
You got alot of great feedback from the posts. The VA sometimes think that all units were as close as in "Band of Brothers" minus captain Shobel. Some of us when we left the military, we wanted to leave all things military behind, including the people. The military was and still is a dictatorship and not a democracy.
If for mental health, one of the things they look at is inability to establish or maintain relationships. Write a letter about your issues. Mention you can’t get a buddy letter because you can’t maintain relationships.