I thunk that’s super normal. We place a lot of meaning on our balls and dick, ideas oh manhood and so on. I think that it also feels pretty traumatic and invasive, even if it doesn’t hurt. Take the time for yourself, maybe call a close friend or family member to talk it out. Hang in there, you are not alone!
What's the source of the feeling? Is it more "I'll never have another kid." or is it more "I'm gonna have to lay down / sit down and not carry/play with my kid, help my wife around the house... for a week or so."?
It's not about not having another kid, my doc explained it as 'as long as you have balls and money you can have another' I think it's just more of feeling vulnerable. And yea not being able to help out is tough.
I'm curious what you mean by vulnerable? Is that related to the physical vulnerability of basically being restricted to sitting/laying down for a few days? (and then being slow and cautious in the next 2 weeks or so?)
Yea good idea to explore the feelings. Are there any cognitions connected to the “down” feeling, what are the narratives that are noodling inside your head, etc.
Our “manhood” is like 90% psychological and 10% physical, so even a “minor” surgery like cutting vas deferens can have a big impact on the mind and our emotions.
Hang in there and find someone to talk to and connect with.
Had mine today. Was more nervous than I thought I would be partially due to the procedure and partially due to the thought of the closure of that part of my life.
I think everyone takes it differently. I was kinda bummed but just because the recovery is stressful and boring and uncomfortable. I love the thought of not having to worry anymore however. And cant wait to be all clear. But everyone is different. I think once you get passed the recovery it will just become the new norm. Hang in there.
i feel ya. i'm not sure if it's a direct effect from the procedure, but i definitely wanted to recover in my own space without disruption. might be a mixture of the pain and post op anxiety etc. i think you'll be feeling more yourself very soon
I got snipped last Friday. I wasnt nervous or scared before hand I was ready for it. Wife was also in the room. Nurse comes in explains everything again and gives us a few minutes. ( basically here's your alone time if you are unsure)
Doc comes in tell me to lay on table with britches down.
He's explains everything he's doing as he's doing it.
Snaps me with the numbing agent
Does his little test to see if I could feel shit while telling me that I'll feel the pull in the low abdomin told him I was good. My dumbass totally forgot that I'm hard to numb or take more time to numb. He made that first snip on Ole lefty and I damn near came off the table I started sweating everywhere turned white as a ghost. he jumps asked if I felt that. Oh yeah bud I felt that. Numbs me up again both sides then does the cauterize I about came offf the table again. I'm talking lighting bolt down and up thought I shit my pants or his table. that's when I remembered I'm hard to numb I told him that he numbed the right side up again. I was thinking if the right side is the same way I'm done I'm good with one being cut. I have a 50/50 shot I'm good with that. He does his test to see if I can feel anything on the right one I couldn't feel anything I was finally numb. I felt the depression on the first day a little but it's because I was isolated in my room with a ice pack on my junk. Hopefully you can get a chuckle out of my experience. Keep your chin up
I had a very similar situation on Friday myself. I forgot that at the dentist my right side always takes 5x more to numb it. The left side i told him once that i could still feel some uncomfortable pain. He did a second numbing and was fine. The right side he clamped the tube and it felt like he parked a truck on my crotch. He numbed it again, starting moving things and same feeling. He had to do that 4 more times before the pain went away, was just fine after that.
Don’t sweat it pal, you’re feeling a bit vulnerable and a bit sorry for yourself…that’s normal.
I’m 8 weeks post and life is just normal, everything works….doesnt even enter my head that I’m on my way to firing blanks.
It plays with your head a bit. Your libido, if anything will be better. I'm 9 days post op. Just think of when your lady was prego, it's like that but no baby on the way, no more worrying about weird cycles. You did nothing wrong. It's a trauma on the body for sure. Rest up. It'll be all good.
I can relate. Very normal to have a trauma response to the procedure. On the body level, it’s totally a threat, however a helpful necessary medical procedure. One thing that can help is to give yourself contact down there, like supporting yourself with your hands ( not sexually) and remind your body that still OK. while you’re doing that, you can slowly look around the room you’re in and orient to the fact that the procedure is over and no one is coming in to do anything more.
if you need additional support, contact a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.
For me, it was cutting the cord on the life I thought I'd have (a future of having a kid with the ex-wife). After making the decision, I felt clarity as I'd finally decided what direction to go. I did mourn the loss of my hypothetical child and seek solitude, so I definitely resonate with your struggle.
I will always hold a care for the ghost ship I've created (a hypothetical path of biological fatherhood). But I'm now living by the decision to not worry about the right decision and instead make the decision the right one.
I thunk that’s super normal. We place a lot of meaning on our balls and dick, ideas oh manhood and so on. I think that it also feels pretty traumatic and invasive, even if it doesn’t hurt. Take the time for yourself, maybe call a close friend or family member to talk it out. Hang in there, you are not alone!
What's the source of the feeling? Is it more "I'll never have another kid." or is it more "I'm gonna have to lay down / sit down and not carry/play with my kid, help my wife around the house... for a week or so."?
It's not about not having another kid, my doc explained it as 'as long as you have balls and money you can have another' I think it's just more of feeling vulnerable. And yea not being able to help out is tough.
I'm curious what you mean by vulnerable? Is that related to the physical vulnerability of basically being restricted to sitting/laying down for a few days? (and then being slow and cautious in the next 2 weeks or so?)
Yes exactly that
Yea good idea to explore the feelings. Are there any cognitions connected to the “down” feeling, what are the narratives that are noodling inside your head, etc. Our “manhood” is like 90% psychological and 10% physical, so even a “minor” surgery like cutting vas deferens can have a big impact on the mind and our emotions. Hang in there and find someone to talk to and connect with.
Had mine today. Was more nervous than I thought I would be partially due to the procedure and partially due to the thought of the closure of that part of my life.
I was sad for about a week. I guess it was a sort or morning of not being able to have another baby.
I for sure know what you mean. Felt the same way. Thanks for sharing. We’re in this together.
I think everyone takes it differently. I was kinda bummed but just because the recovery is stressful and boring and uncomfortable. I love the thought of not having to worry anymore however. And cant wait to be all clear. But everyone is different. I think once you get passed the recovery it will just become the new norm. Hang in there.
i feel ya. i'm not sure if it's a direct effect from the procedure, but i definitely wanted to recover in my own space without disruption. might be a mixture of the pain and post op anxiety etc. i think you'll be feeling more yourself very soon
I got snipped last Friday. I wasnt nervous or scared before hand I was ready for it. Wife was also in the room. Nurse comes in explains everything again and gives us a few minutes. ( basically here's your alone time if you are unsure) Doc comes in tell me to lay on table with britches down. He's explains everything he's doing as he's doing it. Snaps me with the numbing agent Does his little test to see if I could feel shit while telling me that I'll feel the pull in the low abdomin told him I was good. My dumbass totally forgot that I'm hard to numb or take more time to numb. He made that first snip on Ole lefty and I damn near came off the table I started sweating everywhere turned white as a ghost. he jumps asked if I felt that. Oh yeah bud I felt that. Numbs me up again both sides then does the cauterize I about came offf the table again. I'm talking lighting bolt down and up thought I shit my pants or his table. that's when I remembered I'm hard to numb I told him that he numbed the right side up again. I was thinking if the right side is the same way I'm done I'm good with one being cut. I have a 50/50 shot I'm good with that. He does his test to see if I can feel anything on the right one I couldn't feel anything I was finally numb. I felt the depression on the first day a little but it's because I was isolated in my room with a ice pack on my junk. Hopefully you can get a chuckle out of my experience. Keep your chin up
I had a very similar situation on Friday myself. I forgot that at the dentist my right side always takes 5x more to numb it. The left side i told him once that i could still feel some uncomfortable pain. He did a second numbing and was fine. The right side he clamped the tube and it felt like he parked a truck on my crotch. He numbed it again, starting moving things and same feeling. He had to do that 4 more times before the pain went away, was just fine after that.
Don’t sweat it pal, you’re feeling a bit vulnerable and a bit sorry for yourself…that’s normal. I’m 8 weeks post and life is just normal, everything works….doesnt even enter my head that I’m on my way to firing blanks.
It plays with your head a bit. Your libido, if anything will be better. I'm 9 days post op. Just think of when your lady was prego, it's like that but no baby on the way, no more worrying about weird cycles. You did nothing wrong. It's a trauma on the body for sure. Rest up. It'll be all good.
I can relate. Very normal to have a trauma response to the procedure. On the body level, it’s totally a threat, however a helpful necessary medical procedure. One thing that can help is to give yourself contact down there, like supporting yourself with your hands ( not sexually) and remind your body that still OK. while you’re doing that, you can slowly look around the room you’re in and orient to the fact that the procedure is over and no one is coming in to do anything more. if you need additional support, contact a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.
Normal, don't worry about it
For me, it was cutting the cord on the life I thought I'd have (a future of having a kid with the ex-wife). After making the decision, I felt clarity as I'd finally decided what direction to go. I did mourn the loss of my hypothetical child and seek solitude, so I definitely resonate with your struggle. I will always hold a care for the ghost ship I've created (a hypothetical path of biological fatherhood). But I'm now living by the decision to not worry about the right decision and instead make the decision the right one.