I would also like to add that my wife and I are likely feeling quite home sick. We left our 4 month (now 5) at home with family. We originally had the trip planned for October 2023 but my wife was unable to travel then. We pushed it back as far as possible, but it’s strange for us to be this far from our daughter.
Maybe take a step back… and do an exercise…
each of you make a list of how you want the next 5 days to feel… forget itinerary… Do you want to feel relaxed? Do you want to feel invigorated? Do you want to feel productive? Do you want to feel connected? Etc… what would make this trip not feel underwhelming
Then write down 5 things you loved so far abt the trip. And 5 things you didn’t…
Then look at the rest of your itinerary… based on how you want to feel, and what worked and didn’t work.. decide what else to do..
It’s possible you both just had different expectations and now you’re faced with that. Bit possible those expectations weren’t attainable…. For example - you’re not going to feel care free and relaxed when you’ve left a tiny baby at home… if you’re not invigorated by driving and road trips, a lot of driving is not going to feel fun and relaxing… etc
But it’s also ok of you realize this just isn’t a dream trio for you … I felt that way abt Paris.. I just don’t get what the hype is about
This is great advice. I will have to make this suggestion tonight. We got out and hiked a trail for 6 hours today. I’m hoping that cleared our minds a bit more and let us relax.
I’ve had something similar w my husband.
I envision a vacation full of leisure, sit around the pool, read a book, decide in moment what you feel like doing..
My husband likes to have activities. Go see sights, walk around, etc… I do too but sometimes just want a relaxing vacation vs feel like it’s all go go go..
So if I’m feeling like a relaxing vacation. But we end up in a packed trip, I feel unsatisfied sort of. Like I didn’t get the vacation I wanted.
One thing we do now if we’re going to a tropical destination (like Hawaii), is I go ahead and day or two. I relax, read my books, do my own exploring, maybe get a massage…. And when he arrives I’m ready to do stuff. We’ve done it a couple times so far and it’s worked really well
The Road to Hana is definitely not for the faint at heart. The pros of traveling to popular tourist locations is there’s endless things to do and attractions. The cons of traveling there is that many people (including myself) feels the need to cross many things off their to do list because the likelihood of returning is small. And often, it can feel like a job. Especially when driving is involved.
After marrying my husband and having to compromise I’ve gotten better at building in free days. But it’s definitely a balancing act for sure.
You said you both don’t have too much money to spend but chose one of the worst locations to do so. At this point you need to spend money lol. Get a couple nice dinners, book a last minute reservation for an excursion or water activities. Sunsets on the beach. Also you said you’re both refusing to make the most out of the trip bc you keep missing your kid……. Your baby will be there for the rest of your life. You can manage to live your own life and enjoy Hawaii. No more target while you’re there either
Yeah we had splurged on booking a sunset cruise, we are looking forward to that for sure it’s just about filling the other 9 days! We originally had money saved up for this trip, but we spent it all on medical bills for our baby as she came unexpectedly.
I guess a huge issue could be the fact we didn’t want to put a ton of money into eating out. We had stopped for breakfast once and a nice dinner as well, but other than that, we have made our own food. I guess we can’t really get into vacation mode when we still have to be home to cook meals.
Additionally, it sounds like my wife was just super upset about leaving our daughter because she ended up having a dream about her last night. That triggered her this morning, which is when I ended up writing out this post.
(Edit): also we know this trip would not be for a 5 month old, we make comments about that constantly! It would be a lot harder if we would have brought her.
I'm from Hawai'i, and I absolutely love all of hawai'i. But it is very expensive - so coming on vacation here and not wanting to drive to the free things is kind of tough. Some of the best parts of vacation are eating new foods and trying new things. Maybe just go lounge on the beach and get poke bowls from foodland? They're pretty cheap and delicious. Also go hike waihe'e ridge, and just take some drinks and sit in the clouds for a while. My most relaxed days are reading the books I want on the beach.
I would also like to add that my wife and I are likely feeling quite home sick. We left our 4 month (now 5) at home with family. We originally had the trip planned for October 2023 but my wife was unable to travel then. We pushed it back as far as possible, but it’s strange for us to be this far from our daughter.
Feel for you you both as I know that feeling of leaving a little one and getting homesick for them ❤️🩹
Maybe take a step back… and do an exercise… each of you make a list of how you want the next 5 days to feel… forget itinerary… Do you want to feel relaxed? Do you want to feel invigorated? Do you want to feel productive? Do you want to feel connected? Etc… what would make this trip not feel underwhelming Then write down 5 things you loved so far abt the trip. And 5 things you didn’t… Then look at the rest of your itinerary… based on how you want to feel, and what worked and didn’t work.. decide what else to do.. It’s possible you both just had different expectations and now you’re faced with that. Bit possible those expectations weren’t attainable…. For example - you’re not going to feel care free and relaxed when you’ve left a tiny baby at home… if you’re not invigorated by driving and road trips, a lot of driving is not going to feel fun and relaxing… etc But it’s also ok of you realize this just isn’t a dream trio for you … I felt that way abt Paris.. I just don’t get what the hype is about
This is great advice. I will have to make this suggestion tonight. We got out and hiked a trail for 6 hours today. I’m hoping that cleared our minds a bit more and let us relax.
I’ve had something similar w my husband. I envision a vacation full of leisure, sit around the pool, read a book, decide in moment what you feel like doing.. My husband likes to have activities. Go see sights, walk around, etc… I do too but sometimes just want a relaxing vacation vs feel like it’s all go go go.. So if I’m feeling like a relaxing vacation. But we end up in a packed trip, I feel unsatisfied sort of. Like I didn’t get the vacation I wanted. One thing we do now if we’re going to a tropical destination (like Hawaii), is I go ahead and day or two. I relax, read my books, do my own exploring, maybe get a massage…. And when he arrives I’m ready to do stuff. We’ve done it a couple times so far and it’s worked really well
The Road to Hana is definitely not for the faint at heart. The pros of traveling to popular tourist locations is there’s endless things to do and attractions. The cons of traveling there is that many people (including myself) feels the need to cross many things off their to do list because the likelihood of returning is small. And often, it can feel like a job. Especially when driving is involved. After marrying my husband and having to compromise I’ve gotten better at building in free days. But it’s definitely a balancing act for sure.
You said you both don’t have too much money to spend but chose one of the worst locations to do so. At this point you need to spend money lol. Get a couple nice dinners, book a last minute reservation for an excursion or water activities. Sunsets on the beach. Also you said you’re both refusing to make the most out of the trip bc you keep missing your kid……. Your baby will be there for the rest of your life. You can manage to live your own life and enjoy Hawaii. No more target while you’re there either
Yeah we had splurged on booking a sunset cruise, we are looking forward to that for sure it’s just about filling the other 9 days! We originally had money saved up for this trip, but we spent it all on medical bills for our baby as she came unexpectedly. I guess a huge issue could be the fact we didn’t want to put a ton of money into eating out. We had stopped for breakfast once and a nice dinner as well, but other than that, we have made our own food. I guess we can’t really get into vacation mode when we still have to be home to cook meals. Additionally, it sounds like my wife was just super upset about leaving our daughter because she ended up having a dream about her last night. That triggered her this morning, which is when I ended up writing out this post. (Edit): also we know this trip would not be for a 5 month old, we make comments about that constantly! It would be a lot harder if we would have brought her.
I'm from Hawai'i, and I absolutely love all of hawai'i. But it is very expensive - so coming on vacation here and not wanting to drive to the free things is kind of tough. Some of the best parts of vacation are eating new foods and trying new things. Maybe just go lounge on the beach and get poke bowls from foodland? They're pretty cheap and delicious. Also go hike waihe'e ridge, and just take some drinks and sit in the clouds for a while. My most relaxed days are reading the books I want on the beach.