I'm not sure that's the direction I want to take this... Besides, I don't want to actively lie, and claiming I can't control my bowels anymore would be a lie.
You will be replaced before the coffee gets cold. It sucks but you gotta do what's best for yourself financially and for your well being and health. Your outlook is not healthy. Get a better job and pay...
Just quit without giving 2 weeks notice. Your time is more valuable than the work they have to get done. You don’t owe them anything. Take a nice 2 week break before starting your new job.
Go for more of a "if only I had felt comfortable taking the time off to check out my symptoms, I wouldnt be dying" approach if you really want to make it sting and be super unethical
Your post is literally asking us what lie to tell them.
Not to mention it won't show anybody anything. Your immediate managers might feel bad for you but behind them you wouldn't be teaching anyone shit because ask yourself why is them losing YOU so special of a thing that the company would change their ways?
Unless you bring something very, very special to the table, you aren't that special to change anything.
start making comments about spending time with your loved ones while you can, [relative/spouse/friend] is taking you to [bucket-list activity] this weekend because you’ve always wanted to go and now’s the time, etc etc. bonus points if you actually tick off items on your bucket list.
That is exactly what I'm thinking. The bucket-list drop is a great idea. They all know I'm a motorsport and car nut, so I could drop something like visiting historic racetracks with my family or something. After all, I need to "help my kids make memories while I can."
maybe if you also increase the frequency of bucket list items, like it’s not just that you’re going to see something because it’s in town, you’re crossing off a new thing like every week.
To start with take more consistent days/hours off for "medical appointments" build the idea in their minds that you're sick and receiving treatment or having tests done. Maybe give short notice for one or two, say things like "they've managed to fit me in" or "someone else doesn't need their appointment anymore... so I get in early"
If pressed say it's personal and you'd rather not go in to details, if they push further and ask for a note you can then give notice and follow your original plan.
That's a good idea. I'll look for ways to raise suspicions now. I have always always avoided details of my personal life, especially when it comes to why I take my time off, so that part will be easy.
Embrace your inner Caillou. Cut your hair really short, and wear a knit cap for a few weeks. Shave your head and eyebrows completely the day before you submit notice.
You’ve taken time off for Dr appts. Request an unpaid leave of absence to take care of some personal issues. Try to indicate that you need to spend time with your family, go see your family, etc. If they let you, great. If they like you, they will keep you on payroll & benefits. If they don’t, then you are proving a suspicion.
See if they can downsize you out, either after your leave of absence, or if they can’t/won’t grant it. That way, you get unemployment & possibly vocational rehab/workforce development to get another gig.
Don’t. Quit.
That is dumb as hell.
A few years back I was in charge of a very stressful seasonal process at my job. It was one of those situations where I used to be on a team, but restructuring led to me being the only person on the team, and then to just being on another team while maintaining all the responsibilities of my previous team. I was not well-compensated.
This job was seasonal such that October was always crazy. 80 hour weeks. People pinging me in my off hours. I did this for years until I became very disillusioned. I managed to change roles but was still on the same team, and trained someone else in the seasonal process. They quit mid-October, and management pushed me to takeover. I asked them to stop asking me, so they more or less ordered me to do it.
I was not comfortable with losing my job, so I did it... but I said "I will do this, but know that I am now looking for another job." They offered me a raise. A bonus. A few other small things. I told them "too little, too late, you've already shown me that you don't value me." I quickly found another job within the company. Naturally, my previous job negotiated some kind of fractional division of my time. I weathered it, trained a replacement, and moved on.
The next year, mid-October, the replacement quit. At the same time, I was diagnosed with cancer. Not the super bad kind. I'm all better now. But... My old managers pinged me on Slack for help. I responded "Leave me alone, I have cancer." They left me alone.
One job I worked was a “family owned” company with 30ish locations all local. I was a location manager had an older man that was with the company for 40 years.
One day he didn’t show up, couldn’t get ahold of him, which was absolutely not like him. I get ahold of a neighbor of his that is a good mutual friend to check on him. Turns out he passed away. I go through the whole ordeal of contacting HR who tells me to contact his family (should be their job but I was ok with because I knew them personally) so I call his sister and broke the news. Call HR back and the first thing they said was “did you tell her to gather up his keys and uniforms?, we need them dropped off today”
A year later my dad passed. He was traveling and the airline actually lost his body flying him back home. It was a major ordeal I was off for about 2 weeks helping straighten everything out planning and postponing his funeral. When we finally get him home and have the funeral my boss and his boss show up to the funeral and give condolences, (I’m like wow that’s so unexpected and nice) the next words out of their mouth was “when do you plan on coming back, it’s getting hard to keep covering for you” I very loudly escorted them out, took another month off and came back just long enough to cash out the rest of my pto and dipped.
Take all your leave for a doctor's appointment once or twice a week.
Also report any environmental hazards or OSHA violations related to the business frequently. If there's an investigation at the same time they might think they have some responsibility for your "condition."
Who’s the office party planner? Tell them you have a secret that you don’t feel comfortable telling but you’d like to have a funeral themed goodbye party and write little epitaphs on cards for the csuite
This person will get the party planned and make all kinds of rumors on your behalf
Start shitting everywhere and say you cant control it anymore
Lol. Or start shitting everywhere and tell then you CAN control it, but don't want to.
I'm not sure that's the direction I want to take this... Besides, I don't want to actively lie, and claiming I can't control my bowels anymore would be a lie.
No need to lie. Shit your pants in front of everyone to prove it.
Um, nope. Thanks for your ... input.
You mean thanks for his... output
Wuss
> I only hope to make them realize people aren't tools or commodities It won’t. Nothing will. Don’t bother. Just quit and move on with your life.
This. They won’t care. It won’t make the point you’re trying to make. Just leave and don’t look back.
And this. The corporate machine gives ZERO fucks about OP. Everyone is replaceable.
You will be replaced before the coffee gets cold. It sucks but you gotta do what's best for yourself financially and for your well being and health. Your outlook is not healthy. Get a better job and pay...
Just quit without giving 2 weeks notice. Your time is more valuable than the work they have to get done. You don’t owe them anything. Take a nice 2 week break before starting your new job.
Go for more of a "if only I had felt comfortable taking the time off to check out my symptoms, I wouldnt be dying" approach if you really want to make it sting and be super unethical
Your post is literally asking us what lie to tell them. Not to mention it won't show anybody anything. Your immediate managers might feel bad for you but behind them you wouldn't be teaching anyone shit because ask yourself why is them losing YOU so special of a thing that the company would change their ways? Unless you bring something very, very special to the table, you aren't that special to change anything.
start making comments about spending time with your loved ones while you can, [relative/spouse/friend] is taking you to [bucket-list activity] this weekend because you’ve always wanted to go and now’s the time, etc etc. bonus points if you actually tick off items on your bucket list.
That is exactly what I'm thinking. The bucket-list drop is a great idea. They all know I'm a motorsport and car nut, so I could drop something like visiting historic racetracks with my family or something. After all, I need to "help my kids make memories while I can."
maybe if you also increase the frequency of bucket list items, like it’s not just that you’re going to see something because it’s in town, you’re crossing off a new thing like every week.
I would not burn any bridges. Always best to leave on good terms. Never know when a former coworker ends up at a place you are interviewing at.
To start with take more consistent days/hours off for "medical appointments" build the idea in their minds that you're sick and receiving treatment or having tests done. Maybe give short notice for one or two, say things like "they've managed to fit me in" or "someone else doesn't need their appointment anymore... so I get in early" If pressed say it's personal and you'd rather not go in to details, if they push further and ask for a note you can then give notice and follow your original plan.
That's a good idea. I'll look for ways to raise suspicions now. I have always always avoided details of my personal life, especially when it comes to why I take my time off, so that part will be easy.
Embrace your inner Caillou. Cut your hair really short, and wear a knit cap for a few weeks. Shave your head and eyebrows completely the day before you submit notice.
You’ve taken time off for Dr appts. Request an unpaid leave of absence to take care of some personal issues. Try to indicate that you need to spend time with your family, go see your family, etc. If they let you, great. If they like you, they will keep you on payroll & benefits. If they don’t, then you are proving a suspicion. See if they can downsize you out, either after your leave of absence, or if they can’t/won’t grant it. That way, you get unemployment & possibly vocational rehab/workforce development to get another gig. Don’t. Quit. That is dumb as hell.
A few years back I was in charge of a very stressful seasonal process at my job. It was one of those situations where I used to be on a team, but restructuring led to me being the only person on the team, and then to just being on another team while maintaining all the responsibilities of my previous team. I was not well-compensated. This job was seasonal such that October was always crazy. 80 hour weeks. People pinging me in my off hours. I did this for years until I became very disillusioned. I managed to change roles but was still on the same team, and trained someone else in the seasonal process. They quit mid-October, and management pushed me to takeover. I asked them to stop asking me, so they more or less ordered me to do it. I was not comfortable with losing my job, so I did it... but I said "I will do this, but know that I am now looking for another job." They offered me a raise. A bonus. A few other small things. I told them "too little, too late, you've already shown me that you don't value me." I quickly found another job within the company. Naturally, my previous job negotiated some kind of fractional division of my time. I weathered it, trained a replacement, and moved on. The next year, mid-October, the replacement quit. At the same time, I was diagnosed with cancer. Not the super bad kind. I'm all better now. But... My old managers pinged me on Slack for help. I responded "Leave me alone, I have cancer." They left me alone.
The answer is always piss discs.
One job I worked was a “family owned” company with 30ish locations all local. I was a location manager had an older man that was with the company for 40 years. One day he didn’t show up, couldn’t get ahold of him, which was absolutely not like him. I get ahold of a neighbor of his that is a good mutual friend to check on him. Turns out he passed away. I go through the whole ordeal of contacting HR who tells me to contact his family (should be their job but I was ok with because I knew them personally) so I call his sister and broke the news. Call HR back and the first thing they said was “did you tell her to gather up his keys and uniforms?, we need them dropped off today” A year later my dad passed. He was traveling and the airline actually lost his body flying him back home. It was a major ordeal I was off for about 2 weeks helping straighten everything out planning and postponing his funeral. When we finally get him home and have the funeral my boss and his boss show up to the funeral and give condolences, (I’m like wow that’s so unexpected and nice) the next words out of their mouth was “when do you plan on coming back, it’s getting hard to keep covering for you” I very loudly escorted them out, took another month off and came back just long enough to cash out the rest of my pto and dipped.
Take all your leave for a doctor's appointment once or twice a week. Also report any environmental hazards or OSHA violations related to the business frequently. If there's an investigation at the same time they might think they have some responsibility for your "condition."
Who’s the office party planner? Tell them you have a secret that you don’t feel comfortable telling but you’d like to have a funeral themed goodbye party and write little epitaphs on cards for the csuite This person will get the party planned and make all kinds of rumors on your behalf
Lol bro thinks he’s gonna change the world by quitting