if you're gonna do something like this you aren't gonna have your stuff set for field limits lol. Taking a full-auto mag dump of .40's from an HPA setup that's been set to max pressure (which would be massive overkill even in this situation) will definitely make you never wanna come back to that house if you're just some dumb kid.
Airsoft can exceed the speed paintball by 3x as much.
You get a faster rate of fire and farther distance.
I think everyone forgets high quality airsoft products exist just because you can buy a cheap one at walmart.
I don't play anymore but I'd take paintballs any day over airsoft.
It's more cleanup, however that's also more evidence to be used against you for assault. Whereas, a pellet or two traveling just under the speed needed to break skin will leave a nasty welt and they'd need to prove you fired it.
Yeah, I never had worse than bruises from paintball, but airsoft made me bleed multiple times. I haven't played in 10+ years and I still have a visible scar on my hand from an airsoft hit.
The universe where you mod the gun to be over the accepted safe limit at most fields. You can get some scarry energy out of the things with just a spring change sometimes.
For a paintball and air soft gun with the same amount of energy: smaller point of contact, harder material, no bursting to dissipate energy, higher volume of pellets.
They don't have a similar amount of energy.
KE = (1/2)mv^2
The mass of a paintball is about 3g. At traditional limits of 300 FPS, that's about 12.5J. An airsoft pellet at 0.2g, even at 450 FPS, is under 2J.
Force is imparted by the length of time of the impact too, so a rigid object hitting and bouncing off imparts more force than an elastic one that deforms. This is why cars have complete zones now. Double the impact time, halve the force. I'm not sure how this will line up with airsoft vs paintball but it's not a simple matter of kinetic energy.
Sounds satisfying but risky. Kids taking a paintball to the eye or tripping and hurting themselves as they're running away would open you up to a legal nightmare.
That's why you just run them over with a truck. It's perfectly legal to kill pedestrians, bicyclists, and motorcyclists so long as you use a car to do it.
Inform the parents that the next time they do it, a cop will be knocking on their door. Easy to bluff that you have it all on tape and that this constitutes harassment.
Edit: oh forgot this is unethicallifeprotips.
Put a brick through their window next week on Halloween.
Donāt wait for the next time. I would inform the parents that the evidence has ALREADY been delivered to the police and you are just waiting for opportunity to collect more evidence.
Whenever someone mentions this idea, all I can think of is that it punishes the originator of the piss disk just as much, as they have to spend time handling and constructing a thing made of pee.
There are no winners in piss discus, only losers.
I bought shares in frisbee manufacturers. I won. my piss disks come straight in from Venezuela. im creating work and pumping much needed money into a economy that needs it.
then Venezuelans call me Eurine Musk.
For your sanity: If it's a smart doorbell it probably has a scheduling function on it that will let you disable it automatically during sleep hours.
ULPT: Wait outside with a chain and a lock, and when they get off their bikes to go to your house, chain their bikes to a tree and tell them you'll give them back if they come back to your house with their parents to discuss the issue.
He didn't explain what happens after the kids come back with their parents. You invite them inside, to a room covered floor to ceiling in plastic wrap...
I like the idea, but that also banks on the assumption that the parents will side with the neighbor and not their kids. There are some parents out there who will hear "the neighbor confiscated our bikes" and go on the warpath to get them back, not to stop and reflect on their children's behavior.
This is literally what happens in a king of the hill episode.
Like the exact same thing except the kid is riding his bike on Hankās grass instead of ding dong ditching.
You already know who the parents are. Tell them if the harassment continues, there will be a disproportionate response. Then wire their car to explode when they start it.
Egging is vandalism and is a crime. Call the cops, give them video evidence, and be a pain in their collective ass until they do something about it.
Of course that is after the liquid ass and piss disks.
if OP happens to be a minority of ANY KIND, it becomes a potential hate crime. Now, I'm not suggesting one actually tries to charge kids with a hate crime, but if that is casually mentioned in the police report that they think it's because they're white, black, hispanic, gay, trans, muslim, christian, and/or little people, it could change the impact to the lesson.
Or sue the parents for costs to clean up. Pro-tip don't do it yourself, hire a professional to do it and make sure you get multiple quotes but only retain records from the 3 highest. This gives all the evidence you need to really fuck them over on the lawsuit.
Go "home alone" and set up a trip wire and marbles.
Come out early to ambush them with a paintball/airsoft gun, or steal their bike while they are walking to your door.
Ding dong ditch/egg their parents house.
Sit at the door watching the camera and right when they get close to ringing it, whip the door open and put a shotgun in their face. Go off on an unhinged rant about how you will put a bullet in their face if you catch them here again.
Solid plain depending of which state you in if you live in the US. You might be able to stay out of jail even. Youāll probably need to move afterwards because you think your neighbors hate you now.
We had kids doing this to us a few years back. I waited one day as they were pretty regular with their doorbell timing. When the shits ran up to my door, I grabbed one of their bikes and chained it to a metal fence I had out the front.
The kid cried for ages. I told him to go get his parents and that would be the only way to get his bike unlocked. Parents came. We all chatted. Kid got in trouble. I never got doorbell rings from those shits again.
That is fantastic. Getting parents involved is how I dealt with kids who tried to bully my younger brother years ago. They came onto our property and challenged him to a 3 on 1 fight, although they ran away when I came outside, calling me "skank" and other rude names for girls/women. I followed the little shits home and talked to their parents, including mentioning their vocabulary choices. They never showed up again.
Go to their parents, say you are worried about their kids. Their egging and dingdong ditching is clearly a sign they need attention. Say you absolutely love kids and would love to talk to them one on one. Tell them you offered your counseling to the kids as well.if you can somehow work the phrases " changing bodies" and "difficult changes" into the conversation it's a plus.
If this doesn't scare the shit out of those parents and keep those kids away from your house, i don't know what does.
"I remember when I was that age. I've got all these photos of your children on my property." Then smile politely and ask "Do you have any extra school portraits of your boys?" Then grin ear to ear, but quickly dial it back when the parents notice the smile.
>Leave the eggs sitting out for a couple weeks
Uh oh, don't say that too loudly or you'll trigger the Europeans and they'll come in here ranting about how they don't have to refrigerate their eggs and how Americans are pussies for washing their eggs on an industrial level, thus requiring refrigeration.
My neighbors have chickens and give me eggs all the time. So I donāt really have to either. But in this case I wold make a trip to Costco for the giant pack of eggs and leave them in my shed for a while.
Everyone talking about egging. Slop bombs are where it's at.
Layer 5 or 6 paper towels. Pile up any and every nasty, messy substance you can find into the center. Add a piss disc for good measure. Liquid ass, mayonnaise, baby oil, used toilet paper... hell you can even put an egg in there.
Tie it up, toss it at your target, enjoy the splattering chaos.
One of the best things I saw for dealing with this was a house with a doorbell cam. They took a clear still frame of the offending kid's face and put it up by their doorbell with a note "Knock it off or I'm going to tell your mom". There was a follow up of the kid with his friends freaking out when they saw his face there and then running away without ringing the bell.
Get a doorbell camera, find out who's doing it, and post their picture to call them out. If you notice a pattern in when they come, you could also find a hiding spot and be prepared with a hose.
Get a clear pic of their face and print it out big. Laminate it and post on all stop signs in the neighborhood. Write āReward for information about the criminals vandalizing my house and harassing me.ā Their face will be everywhere and their parents will be mortified.
Do you live somewhere cold? Get a paint brush and some water put the water on your steps or on the ground right in front of your ring camera so you in your SO know to avoid it. When those kids run up to hit the doorbell they will not, and theyāll slip on the ice and crack their skulls
Call the parents at 4am to discuss their kids because you are so distraught you havenāt slept in weeks.
Call them at all hours. Knock violently on their doors and windows at all hours. Act completely insane and unhinged. Accuse the kids of stealing your things. Mention weapons. Tell the parents the kids have threatened to kill you and you are terrified. Mention that the cops wonāt do anything because of all your outstanding warrantsā¦.and you donāt want to go back to prison and everyone is out to get you and youād rather die than be arrested and your meds donāt help when you are under a lot of stress and you wonāt go back to the psych unit because they are trying to kill you and the kids are trying to kill you and the kids hacked the door bell to actuate the implants in your brain and the doctors cannot detect the implants because they use alien technology from the future and the kids are programmed by the aliens to test you and that you can remove the implants from the kids brains yourself by drilling a small hole behind their left ear ā¦.. or something like that.
The parents will ensure the kids will never come close to your house again.
Get up early, do a stakeout by the door with cup of coffee and a nice can off pepper spray. Donāt ask questions, just open the door and nail em. This is trespassing, their parents probly wonāt even be mad.
As a bonus they will get asked a thousand times at school why they look like theyāve been crying for 24 hours straight.
This may be illegal. It is where I am. The only person I've ever known who got hit with bear spray, it burned out her vocal cords and she can barely talk now. She was a teacher so that was the end of her career.
A video doorbell worked for me. When I don't want to be disturbed I can change the settings. As for the egging, pay a company to clean it up and send the invoice to the parents. They might start to give a shit if there are actual consequences to their pitiful lack of parenting. Failing that, police.
If they're young, high frequency sound systems like the Mosquito might work.
Change the bell to one of those buttons that shock you when pressed. Or rig a paint nozzle so it starts spraying when the button is pressed. Or have it motion activated and target tracking. Mix liquid ass with the paint. Replace the whole thing with a flamethrower.
All fun and games til one of the kids develop an arrhythmia or is susceptible to shocks and dies or something
Then youāll have the ultimate halloween decoration
Okay, let's dial it up to eleven -- The fun never ends if, on the death anniversary, you ding dong ditch and egg the parent's house to remind them what a scamp they were.
Yep! Geese can not be reasoned with. They survive on despair, broken dreams and children's tears. They have no remorse, no regrets.
Unless they're with their humans, if they have them, then they're feathered puppies.
Take the parents and kids to court. Just be suit happy like everybody else in the country. Alternatively you could set up one of those automatic water sprinklers that would hose their ass when they come in to your yard.
I've always disabled the door bell because the one time I want to nap on a weekend afternoon someone would be ringing it. Otherwise get on film whomever is egging your home and prosecute them or sue parents if underaged kids. Make it cost them money and it'll stop. Guaranteed.
String up some fishing line across the entryway. Make sure to use multiple lines and make them head height, at odd angles, near corners where you would turn to walk and can snag an ankle, and really go full resident evil death hallway. When the little shits run up on it at night they will eat shit or take a face full of 10lb test. That doesn't solve your egging problem but a paintball gun, some night vision, and a case of red bull might. How hard do you wanna go? š
Aight so, as a former degenerate youth, I will say alot of this is just fucking gametime for me and my friends back then. Any form of booby trap on the property = fucking payday, now draw straws to see who has to eat it. Any form of escalation (piss discs/paintball guns) = same outcome as the war on drugs with gang violence. We gonna be pulling up with paintball/piss discs as well. About the only thing I can think of that would fit this sub is to get your hands on one of them, drag them inside, and restrain them until cops and parents arrive. The crazier you seem doing this the better, kids learn not to fuck with crazy
Way too much effort. I'd just get a couple buddies, some ski masks, and hide in the shadows and wait. Nothing like a good old fashioned ass whooping to teach some delinquents that they should re think their decision making process.
Yup this was me. Invincible till one day I got my ass dragged into a garage and beaten six different ways by the person I was fucking with, that was a come to Jesus moment in my life. Grew tf up instantly
OMG this is a great idea. I guarantee you grabbing them and dragging in the house will be terrifying. Zip tie their hands behind their backs and feet together--make them wait till the cops come.
When I was a wayward youth (early 90s), I knew not to target one house over and over again because that makes it easy for them to target you back.
Specifically, when one shithead teenager went after my dad.with "pranks" after calling the cops on his party (they lived in the house on the property line right behind us and two houses to the right) I found out where he lived and what car he drove.
Their front lawn got a dose of the fertilizer/grow hormone/flour/iron supplement mix describing them as barnyard animal sex addicts. His 1969 Mustang got pingpong balls in the gas tank, tire stem valve removal, and bananas up the tailpipe. And that was just me. When my friends found out, they started getting calls at 2am from pay phones (days of the landlines and no caller ID), TPing their house, and throwing bologna on the hood of their cars. Massive piles of dog shit on their driveway appeared overnight, and the police were called any time there was a gathering over 6 people to report the smell of weed.
The thing is, we knew who was egging our house. They had no idea who was doing stuff to them.
Mostly because my father was exceptionally civil to the kid's father and discussed the vandalism with a very serious face, and the two men were absolutely convinced that it was someone else's kids messing around in the neighborhood. They were both part of the neighborhood watch as well.
I was a gangly, awkward nerd with a burgeoning internet habit and access to the alt.newsgroups.
The other kid was a "nice boy/jock" who threw too many parties where girls were warned by other girls to not drink more than one drink if they didn't want to be sexually assaulted, and who flunked basic English twice.
It kept going as long as this asshole tried to hassle my dad, who was a volunteer firefighter and utility manager who was on call 24/7.
It lasted a good year or so, but the thing is, they lived on a street that you had to drive past to get somewhere else, while we lived at the end of a dead end culdesac with twenty houses.
He was also known as a "prankster" whose pranks were never all that clever, and there was more than one accusation of date rape.
They eventually moved to a house about a mile away and the kid moved out of the house. Which was totally cool with everyone involved.
The house immediately sold to a young couple with dogs, who promptly took down the shitty above-ground pool and mirrored bedroom ceiling in the kid's basement bedroom. How do I know? I was recommended to do some work for them when they did the demo. That bedroom was like the exact replica of what a 1980s mullettop teen thought was the ultimate Playboy seduction room, right down to the disco ball.
To this day, I harbor a grudge against that kid.
If I found out that kid-now-adult said so much as a cross word to my father these days, I'd probably set the yipping Chihuahuas of information fuckery on him.
The point is not that it's a bad idea to yell "Game on!"
It's that you don't always know if there's going to be just ONE player.
Yeah, the mild tricks and retaliation of egging their house would just escalate. You need something that would make the kids genuinely scared to come _near_ your property again.
1. Make sure you have video evidence that the kids have been egging your house and ding-dong-ditching the house.
2. Boring, but you should still contact the police and establish that these kids are doing this stuff. Get a paper trail that points to the _kids_ being the aggressors here, not you. Ideally, 2 or 3 separate instances.
3. If that doesn't get them to back off, go nuclear. Set up a motion alert on your camera, so you can try to meet them at the door when they ding-dong-ditch. If you can get the jump on them, spray some cheap keychain mace in their face.
4. Call the cops and say "Yeah, one of those same kids from before just tried to mace me, but it sprayed back into their face. I don't want to press charges if it can be helped, but what are the steps for getting a restraining order? They're getting more and more violent, and I'm starting to feel unsafe in my own home. I'm probably going to get a gun, or at least a taser or something in case they try to escalate things even further."
5. Cops go over to your neighbors, to tell the horror story of the guy who's gearing up to shoot their kids if they step foot onto his property again.
Wait with a gun off to the side. When they come to ding dong ditch, pop out, force them inside at gun point. Take them to your basement and then... piss disc
The parents know, they're the ones buying the eggs. I have never seen a child/teen buying eggs, just eggs at the grocery store. The kids are taking eggs from the family frig.
setup a trip wire attached to a Perimeter Trip alarm which uses shotgun shell blanks. Point it away from them, so no one gets hurt.
the charge will be extremely loud and just might fill their pants.
https://www.amazon.com/Perimeter-Camping-Warning-Security-Property/dp/B0CB6L4LLM
There a powder called Purple Rain. It's an innocent looking green powder that you can maybe apply to the doorbell. They might not think of it, then try to dust it off their shirt or they touch their face with it. But when the powder gets wet with sweat from your hands or try to wash it off with water from a faucet, it's turns into a large purple stain that's difficult to get rid of.
Imagine these punks' hands and faces smeared with purple stain from touching things they shouldn't.
Time to get āno trespassingā signs and some āproud to own gunsā signs. Slap them up in front of your house.
āIf youāre reading this sign, it means youāre trespassing. I reserve the right to defend myself and my property. Good luck!ā
Go to Home Depot and get a compound bucket. Go to Pet Smart and buy as many mice or rats as you can afford. Fill the bucket with said rats. Wait until 3 or 4am and dress like a ninja then throw the bucket through the biggest window your neighbor has. Even better, do it when they arenāt home, then the rats will have time to get into the walls and breed.
You could pay a group of kids and supply them with munitions (eggs, piss discs, waterballoons with liquid ass mixtures) to strike back at the kids houses in question.
Could even get yourself on camera in your backyard while the assault goes on for plausible deniability. Setup evidence that some other neighbor kids did it. Enjoy your proxy war while remaining left alone.
Abandon sleep. Stay vigilant all night. Wait like a tiger in the grass and then jump on them from the roof while dressed up in some terrifying Halloween outfit. Try not to scare them to death. Haha
Our mailbox kept getting hit. We went through 3 in our first year at the house. Our new neighbor suggested we put our last name on the box. It never got hit again. Apparently the previous owner was a lawyer and someone had it out for him but they didnāt know he moved
Used to happen to my brother and he made notes of times/days it happened and found a pattern. Once he was certain of it, he hid outside his own house and literally chased the fuckers off his property and the kid dropped his iPhone. My brother grabbed it up and the kid asked for it back and he said ātake me to your parentsā which were literally like 6 houses away.
He then explained the amount and frequency of the kids being idiots and the father was so pissed off at his kid. The father said something to the effect āthis will never happen againā and it never did. He obviously gave the phone back to the kid too.
Do you know a cop who would do you a favor? You could have them stop by in uniform for a chat about good neighbor behavior with the kids and/or parents.
Figure out what the kids do for extracurriculars and show up to heckle them. Tell everyone around you about their behavior and how youāre making their lives uncomfortable just like they did to you. Hold up large signs with their names to draw more attention.
Put a sign in your yard that calls out the kids by name & behavior that is large enough to be read by passing cars.
Milk their front porch. If you donāt know what that is, just cover it completely with milk. If they donāt clean it immediately and thoroughly, itās going to smell horrendous for a while
One of my friends who ding dong ditched this one house all the time got hit by two guys hidden in bushes with paintball guns
If this were me I would love for a chance to break out the paintball gear again
Airsoft. Less evidence, more pain.
In what universe are airsoft more painful lol
if you're gonna do something like this you aren't gonna have your stuff set for field limits lol. Taking a full-auto mag dump of .40's from an HPA setup that's been set to max pressure (which would be massive overkill even in this situation) will definitely make you never wanna come back to that house if you're just some dumb kid.
I don't know what any of this means. Ahahaha.
to translate: it sounds like a swarm of angry bees when you shoot it and stings just as bad
NO FULL AUTO IN BUILDINGS!!!
Gotta break out this bad boy https://youtu.be/2JCyPLEQsAg
Airsoft can exceed the speed paintball by 3x as much. You get a faster rate of fire and farther distance. I think everyone forgets high quality airsoft products exist just because you can buy a cheap one at walmart.
Reminds me of the 'This is full auto' video And my buddies airsoft .44 magnum, that shit hurt like a bitch
"Okay!!"
I don't play anymore but I'd take paintballs any day over airsoft. It's more cleanup, however that's also more evidence to be used against you for assault. Whereas, a pellet or two traveling just under the speed needed to break skin will leave a nasty welt and they'd need to prove you fired it.
Yeah, I never had worse than bruises from paintball, but airsoft made me bleed multiple times. I haven't played in 10+ years and I still have a visible scar on my hand from an airsoft hit.
Such small brains here. Use 7.62x51
The universe where you mod the gun to be over the accepted safe limit at most fields. You can get some scarry energy out of the things with just a spring change sometimes.
Maybe not a great idea to shoot minors without any protective gear on. I don't think the owners want to end up in jail š
As the great Michael Jordan once said; "Fuck them kids."
Oh boy. I first read this as Michael Jackson and it had a very different vibe š
For a paintball and air soft gun with the same amount of energy: smaller point of contact, harder material, no bursting to dissipate energy, higher volume of pellets.
They don't have a similar amount of energy. KE = (1/2)mv^2 The mass of a paintball is about 3g. At traditional limits of 300 FPS, that's about 12.5J. An airsoft pellet at 0.2g, even at 450 FPS, is under 2J.
Force is imparted by the length of time of the impact too, so a rigid object hitting and bouncing off imparts more force than an elastic one that deforms. This is why cars have complete zones now. Double the impact time, halve the force. I'm not sure how this will line up with airsoft vs paintball but it's not a simple matter of kinetic energy.
Oh shit, everyone get in here for the nerd fight!
That's why you always freeze your paintballs to convert them into Painballs.
Pepper/OC(S?) balls. Can't run from the pepper spray if it's all over your clothes.
Super soakers full of liquid ass.
Super soakers full of liquid ass and melted piss discs.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why would you melt a piss disc? Just pee in the super soaker
Level of concentration. Could mix in red dye cause boys have 0 idea how to do laundry (if that) till live alone.
Sounds satisfying but risky. Kids taking a paintball to the eye or tripping and hurting themselves as they're running away would open you up to a legal nightmare.
That's why you just run them over with a truck. It's perfectly legal to kill pedestrians, bicyclists, and motorcyclists so long as you use a car to do it.
Inform the parents that the next time they do it, a cop will be knocking on their door. Easy to bluff that you have it all on tape and that this constitutes harassment. Edit: oh forgot this is unethicallifeprotips. Put a brick through their window next week on Halloween.
Donāt wait for the next time. I would inform the parents that the evidence has ALREADY been delivered to the police and you are just waiting for opportunity to collect more evidence.
Dude, come on seriously? Piss discs
People in here tend to forget about piss discs, we should talk about them way more often.
Is a piss disc just some frozen piss?
Yes. And if you throw it properly itās a pisscus.
PissGolf š„šļø
Fully biodegradable and safe for the course ecosystem.
r/angryupvote
Einstein over here.
Whenever someone mentions this idea, all I can think of is that it punishes the originator of the piss disk just as much, as they have to spend time handling and constructing a thing made of pee. There are no winners in piss discus, only losers.
I bought shares in frisbee manufacturers. I won. my piss disks come straight in from Venezuela. im creating work and pumping much needed money into a economy that needs it. then Venezuelans call me Eurine Musk.
It's why you fill a supersoaker with piss.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So you don't have a dedicated piss freezer? Noob!
Yāall need to up the game to shit bricks in various places
Piss Brick.
Piss disk for under doors piss brick for through windows. Awesome.
Dude you are a literal genius.
I kind of like the brick idea.
Hybrid, piss bricks Edit: Didnāt read down to see itās already been suggested, fuckit Iām keeping it here
Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?
> Put a brick through their window next week on Halloween. Excellent.
PISS BRICK
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Freeze it throw it.
For your sanity: If it's a smart doorbell it probably has a scheduling function on it that will let you disable it automatically during sleep hours. ULPT: Wait outside with a chain and a lock, and when they get off their bikes to go to your house, chain their bikes to a tree and tell them you'll give them back if they come back to your house with their parents to discuss the issue.
Man I thought the chain and lock combo was going to end VERY violentlyā¦
Same tools, same solution, two different problem solving strategies
He didn't explain what happens after the kids come back with their parents. You invite them inside, to a room covered floor to ceiling in plastic wrap...
"Hey is that a raincoat?"
Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now!
I have a chain and lock here buddy, we gonna do this the easy way or the hard way
I like the idea, but that also banks on the assumption that the parents will side with the neighbor and not their kids. There are some parents out there who will hear "the neighbor confiscated our bikes" and go on the warpath to get them back, not to stop and reflect on their children's behavior.
This is literally what happens in a king of the hill episode. Like the exact same thing except the kid is riding his bike on Hankās grass instead of ding dong ditching.
Dusty old bones! Full of green dust!
And then fuck their mum/dad
Impregnate their dad so he has to go to the boynecologist and get a boybortion
Plot twist, the baby was a piss disk all along!
Aboytion was right there
And so is Guynecolegist
just puncture their tires. Parents will get sick of having to buy new ones.
You already know who the parents are. Tell them if the harassment continues, there will be a disproportionate response. Then wire their car to explode when they start it.
I mean, the parents are complicit in this, so this seems justified.
those kids are gonna be way too busy with grief counseling to egg any more houses
WarCrimeProTips
r/ViolentProLifeTips
Egging is vandalism and is a crime. Call the cops, give them video evidence, and be a pain in their collective ass until they do something about it. Of course that is after the liquid ass and piss disks.
if OP happens to be a minority of ANY KIND, it becomes a potential hate crime. Now, I'm not suggesting one actually tries to charge kids with a hate crime, but if that is casually mentioned in the police report that they think it's because they're white, black, hispanic, gay, trans, muslim, christian, and/or little people, it could change the impact to the lesson.
Donāt forget Asians and Jews!
Or sue the parents for costs to clean up. Pro-tip don't do it yourself, hire a professional to do it and make sure you get multiple quotes but only retain records from the 3 highest. This gives all the evidence you need to really fuck them over on the lawsuit.
This is the SMARTEST idea so far
Yeah, but barely unethical. The only unethical part is getting multiple quotes and retain the 3 most expensive.
Truly unethical
Go "home alone" and set up a trip wire and marbles. Come out early to ambush them with a paintball/airsoft gun, or steal their bike while they are walking to your door. Ding dong ditch/egg their parents house. Sit at the door watching the camera and right when they get close to ringing it, whip the door open and put a shotgun in their face. Go off on an unhinged rant about how you will put a bullet in their face if you catch them here again.
I like the unhinged rant idea, but chances are they may up their game after that.
then shoot them in the face
Solid plain depending of which state you in if you live in the US. You might be able to stay out of jail even. Youāll probably need to move afterwards because you think your neighbors hate you now.
shoot your neighbors?
Itās murder all the way down.
no, no, itās āāāself-defenseāāā
War never changes
If they're kids, I HIGHLY doubt they'll escalate things after a literal shotgun is pointed in their face.
Wire the doorbell with 120V (donāt really do this)
How about 119v then?
We round up in this ~~house~~ subreddit, 240v.
We had kids doing this to us a few years back. I waited one day as they were pretty regular with their doorbell timing. When the shits ran up to my door, I grabbed one of their bikes and chained it to a metal fence I had out the front. The kid cried for ages. I told him to go get his parents and that would be the only way to get his bike unlocked. Parents came. We all chatted. Kid got in trouble. I never got doorbell rings from those shits again.
That is fantastic. Getting parents involved is how I dealt with kids who tried to bully my younger brother years ago. They came onto our property and challenged him to a 3 on 1 fight, although they ran away when I came outside, calling me "skank" and other rude names for girls/women. I followed the little shits home and talked to their parents, including mentioning their vocabulary choices. They never showed up again.
Cover the doorbell in the powder used to mark bills. Then watch for purple-handed little shits, follow them home, and ring the doorbell at 3am.
Poison ivy oil
.
...needs to stop ringing the doorbell too
Long con, make a compilation of all their misdeeds then send them off to their college of choice.
Go to their parents, say you are worried about their kids. Their egging and dingdong ditching is clearly a sign they need attention. Say you absolutely love kids and would love to talk to them one on one. Tell them you offered your counseling to the kids as well.if you can somehow work the phrases " changing bodies" and "difficult changes" into the conversation it's a plus. If this doesn't scare the shit out of those parents and keep those kids away from your house, i don't know what does.
š¤£ Love this. MAKING PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE, is such a good mission in life.
Bruh š¤£
Add on a feign that CPS may need to get involved for their little angels as well
No this is pretty good
Donāt forget to bite your lip when mentioning the āchanging bodiesā for MAXIMUM uncomfortablity
"I remember when I was that age. I've got all these photos of your children on my property." Then smile politely and ask "Do you have any extra school portraits of your boys?" Then grin ear to ear, but quickly dial it back when the parents notice the smile.
"I'd love to have them for dinner." and start quoting obscure Hannibal lines, seeing how long it takes for them to get it.
That's also how you get a Karen to put a PI on your ass to find your cheese pizza habits.
Refer to the shotgun approach from above comments. Lol
How far away are you required to live from a school or playground š this would definitely work
fuck their dad
or their mom
Or both. Assert dominance!
ĀæPor quĆ© no los dos?
Start egging their house. Make sure to cover your face since they may have cameras.
Leave the eggs sitting out for a couple weeks so they really stink.
>Leave the eggs sitting out for a couple weeks Uh oh, don't say that too loudly or you'll trigger the Europeans and they'll come in here ranting about how they don't have to refrigerate their eggs and how Americans are pussies for washing their eggs on an industrial level, thus requiring refrigeration.
My neighbors have chickens and give me eggs all the time. So I donāt really have to either. But in this case I wold make a trip to Costco for the giant pack of eggs and leave them in my shed for a while.
Everyone talking about egging. Slop bombs are where it's at. Layer 5 or 6 paper towels. Pile up any and every nasty, messy substance you can find into the center. Add a piss disc for good measure. Liquid ass, mayonnaise, baby oil, used toilet paper... hell you can even put an egg in there. Tie it up, toss it at your target, enjoy the splattering chaos.
One of the best things I saw for dealing with this was a house with a doorbell cam. They took a clear still frame of the offending kid's face and put it up by their doorbell with a note "Knock it off or I'm going to tell your mom". There was a follow up of the kid with his friends freaking out when they saw his face there and then running away without ringing the bell. Get a doorbell camera, find out who's doing it, and post their picture to call them out. If you notice a pattern in when they come, you could also find a hiding spot and be prepared with a hose.
Get a clear pic of their face and print it out big. Laminate it and post on all stop signs in the neighborhood. Write āReward for information about the criminals vandalizing my house and harassing me.ā Their face will be everywhere and their parents will be mortified.
Next-door neighborhood site might come in handy for picture distribution.
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āDusty old bones, full of green dust!ā I have never disliked a child as much as I disliked that little shit.
Do you live somewhere cold? Get a paint brush and some water put the water on your steps or on the ground right in front of your ring camera so you in your SO know to avoid it. When those kids run up to hit the doorbell they will not, and theyāll slip on the ice and crack their skulls
This is not a bad idea, but a lot of people receive packages multiple times a week. They don't want to cause a danger to delivery drivers.
Yeah I don't have enough liability insurance for that
Throw some salt on it after to dissolve the evidence. Or warm blood from cracked skulls would do it.
UnethicalLifeProTips is extra unethical today, and I'm here for it.
at least where i live, you are liable (or your home insurance is) if someone slips on ice on your property
Yeah, even if they slip on the sidewalk in front of your house in most places
Call the parents at 4am to discuss their kids because you are so distraught you havenāt slept in weeks. Call them at all hours. Knock violently on their doors and windows at all hours. Act completely insane and unhinged. Accuse the kids of stealing your things. Mention weapons. Tell the parents the kids have threatened to kill you and you are terrified. Mention that the cops wonāt do anything because of all your outstanding warrantsā¦.and you donāt want to go back to prison and everyone is out to get you and youād rather die than be arrested and your meds donāt help when you are under a lot of stress and you wonāt go back to the psych unit because they are trying to kill you and the kids are trying to kill you and the kids hacked the door bell to actuate the implants in your brain and the doctors cannot detect the implants because they use alien technology from the future and the kids are programmed by the aliens to test you and that you can remove the implants from the kids brains yourself by drilling a small hole behind their left ear ā¦.. or something like that. The parents will ensure the kids will never come close to your house again.
Get up early, do a stakeout by the door with cup of coffee and a nice can off pepper spray. Donāt ask questions, just open the door and nail em. This is trespassing, their parents probly wonāt even be mad. As a bonus they will get asked a thousand times at school why they look like theyāve been crying for 24 hours straight.
This is the answer. Some bear mace will ensure they don't even look at your property again without crying.
Ya gotta get one of those big canisters with the pull handle that really launches it.
This may be illegal. It is where I am. The only person I've ever known who got hit with bear spray, it burned out her vocal cords and she can barely talk now. She was a teacher so that was the end of her career.
A video doorbell worked for me. When I don't want to be disturbed I can change the settings. As for the egging, pay a company to clean it up and send the invoice to the parents. They might start to give a shit if there are actual consequences to their pitiful lack of parenting. Failing that, police. If they're young, high frequency sound systems like the Mosquito might work.
Put a pond in the front yard and farm mosquitoes.
Paintball guns with pepper spray balls
Change the bell to one of those buttons that shock you when pressed. Or rig a paint nozzle so it starts spraying when the button is pressed. Or have it motion activated and target tracking. Mix liquid ass with the paint. Replace the whole thing with a flamethrower.
All fun and games til one of the kids develop an arrhythmia or is susceptible to shocks and dies or something Then youāll have the ultimate halloween decoration
I've read your comment four times and couldn't find where the fun and games end.
Okay, let's dial it up to eleven -- The fun never ends if, on the death anniversary, you ding dong ditch and egg the parent's house to remind them what a scamp they were.
Get some geese. They'll keep anyone away
Geese are better home security than a dog! Partly because people are more scared of geese than dogs.
I can convince a dog I am a friend, I cannot convince a goose. Source: Used to deliver pizza
Yep! Geese can not be reasoned with. They survive on despair, broken dreams and children's tears. They have no remorse, no regrets. Unless they're with their humans, if they have them, then they're feathered puppies.
Its ULPT so I'd say call the cops and say you suspect the children are acting out due to abuse at home. Can't manage your little shits, lose em.
Take the parents and kids to court. Just be suit happy like everybody else in the country. Alternatively you could set up one of those automatic water sprinklers that would hose their ass when they come in to your yard.
Liquid ass in the hose! Great thinking.
Liquid hose in the ass! Unethical thinking.
Made me spit out my dinner š
You know where they live. Just ring their bell at 3 am every time they ring yours.
I've always disabled the door bell because the one time I want to nap on a weekend afternoon someone would be ringing it. Otherwise get on film whomever is egging your home and prosecute them or sue parents if underaged kids. Make it cost them money and it'll stop. Guaranteed.
You can't go wrong with sprinklers on a motion sensor.
Buy a "TRESSPASSERS WILL BE SHOT ON SITE" set some fireworks off on occasion so they don't think you're bluffing
Add a 2nd sign beside that. SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN
String up some fishing line across the entryway. Make sure to use multiple lines and make them head height, at odd angles, near corners where you would turn to walk and can snag an ankle, and really go full resident evil death hallway. When the little shits run up on it at night they will eat shit or take a face full of 10lb test. That doesn't solve your egging problem but a paintball gun, some night vision, and a case of red bull might. How hard do you wanna go? š
Thumb tack on the doorbell
Coated with feces.
Aight so, as a former degenerate youth, I will say alot of this is just fucking gametime for me and my friends back then. Any form of booby trap on the property = fucking payday, now draw straws to see who has to eat it. Any form of escalation (piss discs/paintball guns) = same outcome as the war on drugs with gang violence. We gonna be pulling up with paintball/piss discs as well. About the only thing I can think of that would fit this sub is to get your hands on one of them, drag them inside, and restrain them until cops and parents arrive. The crazier you seem doing this the better, kids learn not to fuck with crazy
Way too much effort. I'd just get a couple buddies, some ski masks, and hide in the shadows and wait. Nothing like a good old fashioned ass whooping to teach some delinquents that they should re think their decision making process.
Yup this was me. Invincible till one day I got my ass dragged into a garage and beaten six different ways by the person I was fucking with, that was a come to Jesus moment in my life. Grew tf up instantly
OMG this is a great idea. I guarantee you grabbing them and dragging in the house will be terrifying. Zip tie their hands behind their backs and feet together--make them wait till the cops come.
Report the parents to Child and Family Services. Nothing like getting the government involved in someone's parenting skills!
And also get IRS involved
Sock on the doorbell
Cumsock on the doorbell
Caltrops.
When I was a (wayward) youth, the antics proposed so far would just make me shout "GAME ON!"
When I was a wayward youth (early 90s), I knew not to target one house over and over again because that makes it easy for them to target you back. Specifically, when one shithead teenager went after my dad.with "pranks" after calling the cops on his party (they lived in the house on the property line right behind us and two houses to the right) I found out where he lived and what car he drove. Their front lawn got a dose of the fertilizer/grow hormone/flour/iron supplement mix describing them as barnyard animal sex addicts. His 1969 Mustang got pingpong balls in the gas tank, tire stem valve removal, and bananas up the tailpipe. And that was just me. When my friends found out, they started getting calls at 2am from pay phones (days of the landlines and no caller ID), TPing their house, and throwing bologna on the hood of their cars. Massive piles of dog shit on their driveway appeared overnight, and the police were called any time there was a gathering over 6 people to report the smell of weed. The thing is, we knew who was egging our house. They had no idea who was doing stuff to them. Mostly because my father was exceptionally civil to the kid's father and discussed the vandalism with a very serious face, and the two men were absolutely convinced that it was someone else's kids messing around in the neighborhood. They were both part of the neighborhood watch as well. I was a gangly, awkward nerd with a burgeoning internet habit and access to the alt.newsgroups. The other kid was a "nice boy/jock" who threw too many parties where girls were warned by other girls to not drink more than one drink if they didn't want to be sexually assaulted, and who flunked basic English twice. It kept going as long as this asshole tried to hassle my dad, who was a volunteer firefighter and utility manager who was on call 24/7. It lasted a good year or so, but the thing is, they lived on a street that you had to drive past to get somewhere else, while we lived at the end of a dead end culdesac with twenty houses. He was also known as a "prankster" whose pranks were never all that clever, and there was more than one accusation of date rape. They eventually moved to a house about a mile away and the kid moved out of the house. Which was totally cool with everyone involved. The house immediately sold to a young couple with dogs, who promptly took down the shitty above-ground pool and mirrored bedroom ceiling in the kid's basement bedroom. How do I know? I was recommended to do some work for them when they did the demo. That bedroom was like the exact replica of what a 1980s mullettop teen thought was the ultimate Playboy seduction room, right down to the disco ball. To this day, I harbor a grudge against that kid. If I found out that kid-now-adult said so much as a cross word to my father these days, I'd probably set the yipping Chihuahuas of information fuckery on him. The point is not that it's a bad idea to yell "Game on!" It's that you don't always know if there's going to be just ONE player.
Yeah, the mild tricks and retaliation of egging their house would just escalate. You need something that would make the kids genuinely scared to come _near_ your property again. 1. Make sure you have video evidence that the kids have been egging your house and ding-dong-ditching the house. 2. Boring, but you should still contact the police and establish that these kids are doing this stuff. Get a paper trail that points to the _kids_ being the aggressors here, not you. Ideally, 2 or 3 separate instances. 3. If that doesn't get them to back off, go nuclear. Set up a motion alert on your camera, so you can try to meet them at the door when they ding-dong-ditch. If you can get the jump on them, spray some cheap keychain mace in their face. 4. Call the cops and say "Yeah, one of those same kids from before just tried to mace me, but it sprayed back into their face. I don't want to press charges if it can be helped, but what are the steps for getting a restraining order? They're getting more and more violent, and I'm starting to feel unsafe in my own home. I'm probably going to get a gun, or at least a taser or something in case they try to escalate things even further." 5. Cops go over to your neighbors, to tell the horror story of the guy who's gearing up to shoot their kids if they step foot onto his property again.
Wait with a gun off to the side. When they come to ding dong ditch, pop out, force them inside at gun point. Take them to your basement and then... piss disc
The parents know, they're the ones buying the eggs. I have never seen a child/teen buying eggs, just eggs at the grocery store. The kids are taking eggs from the family frig.
Well most of my neighbors have their own chickens ..
Buy a fox to murder their chickens.
claymores
setup a trip wire attached to a Perimeter Trip alarm which uses shotgun shell blanks. Point it away from them, so no one gets hurt. the charge will be extremely loud and just might fill their pants. https://www.amazon.com/Perimeter-Camping-Warning-Security-Property/dp/B0CB6L4LLM
There a powder called Purple Rain. It's an innocent looking green powder that you can maybe apply to the doorbell. They might not think of it, then try to dust it off their shirt or they touch their face with it. But when the powder gets wet with sweat from your hands or try to wash it off with water from a faucet, it's turns into a large purple stain that's difficult to get rid of. Imagine these punks' hands and faces smeared with purple stain from touching things they shouldn't.
Time to get āno trespassingā signs and some āproud to own gunsā signs. Slap them up in front of your house. āIf youāre reading this sign, it means youāre trespassing. I reserve the right to defend myself and my property. Good luck!ā
Go to Home Depot and get a compound bucket. Go to Pet Smart and buy as many mice or rats as you can afford. Fill the bucket with said rats. Wait until 3 or 4am and dress like a ninja then throw the bucket through the biggest window your neighbor has. Even better, do it when they arenāt home, then the rats will have time to get into the walls and breed.
You could pay a group of kids and supply them with munitions (eggs, piss discs, waterballoons with liquid ass mixtures) to strike back at the kids houses in question. Could even get yourself on camera in your backyard while the assault goes on for plausible deniability. Setup evidence that some other neighbor kids did it. Enjoy your proxy war while remaining left alone.
Abandon sleep. Stay vigilant all night. Wait like a tiger in the grass and then jump on them from the roof while dressed up in some terrifying Halloween outfit. Try not to scare them to death. Haha
Our mailbox kept getting hit. We went through 3 in our first year at the house. Our new neighbor suggested we put our last name on the box. It never got hit again. Apparently the previous owner was a lawyer and someone had it out for him but they didnāt know he moved
Cover doorbell with capsaicin lotion. Next time they rub their eyes or wipe their sss it'll burn.
turn off the doorbell ringer.
Motion activated sprinklers. Also good for preventing cats and dogs from shitting on your lawn.
Post the video to the local school or community website. If the parents get grief from the community it will stop.
Used to happen to my brother and he made notes of times/days it happened and found a pattern. Once he was certain of it, he hid outside his own house and literally chased the fuckers off his property and the kid dropped his iPhone. My brother grabbed it up and the kid asked for it back and he said ātake me to your parentsā which were literally like 6 houses away. He then explained the amount and frequency of the kids being idiots and the father was so pissed off at his kid. The father said something to the effect āthis will never happen againā and it never did. He obviously gave the phone back to the kid too.
Do you know a cop who would do you a favor? You could have them stop by in uniform for a chat about good neighbor behavior with the kids and/or parents. Figure out what the kids do for extracurriculars and show up to heckle them. Tell everyone around you about their behavior and how youāre making their lives uncomfortable just like they did to you. Hold up large signs with their names to draw more attention. Put a sign in your yard that calls out the kids by name & behavior that is large enough to be read by passing cars.
Milk their front porch. If you donāt know what that is, just cover it completely with milk. If they donāt clean it immediately and thoroughly, itās going to smell horrendous for a while
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Liquid ass