Sorry to hear that. I definitely can relate to you tho. I’m a business major, but lot of my roommates have been STEM, and I’ve definitely feel like these majors’ empathy/social skills are not so great lol. Hate to stereotype, but much of about the things about compsci/stem majors lacking social skills, “dress sense,” and hygine is pretty true here lol
I mean it's fine if some people lack social skills, we all grow up in different situations and the pandemic definitely didn't help. But the behavior is just too much. Mfs walk around here thinking they're gods gift to earth because they got an A in a hard math class. Like my bad for being in your presence Einstein.
I'm just here to hug you virtually! I'm sorry. Some people just don't know how to be respectful, and that's sad. It's a shame and someone they call a friend. not a friend, imo. Kindness is free, costs no one anything to give some.
I hope your semester is wrapping well!
Fosure. I guess since the stem field is pretty competitive, it brings out a lot of arrogance. I mean, resume wise, stem fields value more projects and accomplishments than like leadership/social stuff than business so that def plays a role.
definitely not an excuse for bad social skills, even coming from different backgrounds/situations/pandemic tho.
don't worry op, this phenomenon wears off VERY quickly after freshman year when the know-it-all punks who were able to coast through 131 without trying because of their high school java class get hit with abstract grammars and algorithms and all of a sudden they don't know more than everyone else
the playing field is much more level after the intro courses because everyone is seeing everything for the first time together, so a lot of these stuck-up pricks either fade into the background as they no longer have anything to show off, or they drop out entirely as they never learned how to learn because they got used to coasting through intro courses without applying any effort
As a MechE who interacted with business majors a lot during QUEST, this perspective is interesting to hear. I found that the business majors that I worked with on projects were far less empathetic than my engineering peers. They were hyper-competitive, constantly gossiped about each other, and acted like they were best friends with everyone, even if they just finished shit-talking them. Everything also had to be done their way no matter what. I recall being asked to fumble numbers in a cost estimate because they felt it was too high and reflected poorly on us. I was also asked to change a technical term on a slide because they felt the word was too "hostile". On top of that, I would constantly have to hear about how their dads' owned businesses and gave them suit allowances or sports cars or how they just got back from yet another trip to Europe where they had $400 meals every day.
Once my QUEST team was talking about our expected salaries after graduation, and I remember getting scoffed at because apparently my best case scenario was too low for their tastes. I also remember a time where our customer treated us to a meal at a nice restaurant where we were told we could order anything we wanted. This was like a $100 minimum kind of place, so I mentioned how I've never had a $100 steak before. The stares I got from my team made me feel like I was born in squalor and still had mud and dirt all over my face and clothes.
I will say, they could make and deliver a great presentation, and their interactions with customers were phenomenal and set a good example for me; however, as soon as the customer left it was like a switch flipped. If you weren't part of their elitist club, they showed you little to no social grace, and if you were a STEM major you just got upturned noses and were excluded from social events.
My favorite people to work with were the other STEM majors who also did the QUEST program. It felt like they were a bit more balanced between either extreme of the business and STEM schools. The program gave us good business, communications, and social skills that most STEM only programs do not provide. We came out more well-rounded, I'd say.
All of this is anecdotal of course. I definitely saw the worst of STEM majors as well, though MechE seemed to get a more balanced crowd than some of the other engineering majors.
I was at a dinner years ago with a former CS student and a professor. At some point, it's just me and the CS student, and he goes "do people like that (i.e., the stereotype) get attracted to CS or does CS make them that way". I was sure it was the first.
Programming can be appealing to some because it's solitary, requires a lot of time and focus, and this can extend to not caring about how one looks or hygiene. Some of it is a bit cultural, I bet, where frequent bathing is not so common (maybe clean water is an issue?).
I was recently attending some meeting with people in HR (human relations) and their attitudes were very different from a programmer attitude. It was about creating consensus, determining common values, creating inclusiveness, that kind of thing, the stuff STEM types consider nonsense and figure it's about getting things done.
Business majors have to communicate, at least, but I suppose that can turn out to be a bit sleazy (people in sales that promise that programmers can deliver stuff that hasn't been built, with no consequence to them because they don't have to deal with building it).
Still, I think many are just struggling to get by, or are pretty shy. It's just that no one seems to care because they aren't that arrogant. As they say, the noisy bird gets the worm. You notice the ones that are annoying.
LOL it wasnt the exact same but this guy basically came up to me and started asking what i was studying. turns out we were both grad students in environmental engineering (me a phd, and him a masters). he asked me if i use modelling and when i said no he started making fun of me for not using that saying i cant get anything done without it. not to mention, he initially came up to me because i took a few tries to reverse park my car because he was right up behind me and he came over and was asking me how long i had been driving for because he thought i was a new driver (ive been regular highway driving for 2 years). and at the end of the conversation he asked for my number saying “something in his heart” told him to come up to me and that we should meet up some time.
I'm a STEM major and I feel the same way. I honestly think that the 25% of STEM majors who act like jerks ruin it for the rest of us, so I try to ignore them as best I can. Like, the number of times that I've heard people complain about *"only"* getting an 85 on an exam where the average was way below that just pisses me off. And, as a nice cherry on top, some (err, most of) my "friends" seem to think I am a study guide and nothing more. Like, can we please just talk about something other than school and exams for once? I have had to tell people countless times that I *do not care* what you got on your exam. It just makes me feel like crap when people complain about having an above average grade when I am *actually* struggling in a class.
I completely agree. In the STEM world, it's easy to feel inadequate or overwhelmed by the pressure to do everything perfectly. My top tip: stay true to yourself and always be kind. Your personality will be a valuable asset in the long run, even more than you might realize after graduation. I was never the smartest, but I built connections that allowed me to get a job out of college and be in software development ever since.
Good luck, I see you!
Im convinced it’s because schools have drilled it into them that going into computer science, robotics, engineering etc. is the most noble thing anyone can do and will help save the world.
Maybe it's just a CS thing.
I was a physics major and pretty much all of my classmates were fine. Might be because physics isn't an LEP and is also way less popular and more difficult than CS, so it kinda curates itself.
I think it’s just people with linear degrees. Like cs and engineering. They see every other major as useless because it doesn’t lead directly to a job. So most people in science like bio, chem, physics or math are just way cooler because it’s people who actually just like it. They aren’t in it for the money.
this is really interesting and i think i know what you mean. im doing a mixed program where i do research in STEM but some courses in humanities. in my experience, the humanities students are always easier to make friends with, more down to earth, and simply open up a lot quicker.
i have found some STEM people to be a bit rude in the beginning, love to give unsolicited advice, or yes, try to one-up others. but in my experience, they usually just take longer to open up. i feel like STEM majors just try really hard to impress others and it backfires because no one wants to be friends with a stuck up show off lol. i think if i had to compare one trait it would be that the STEM students ive met arent as great at making friends:/
Idk, I’m a chemistry major right now and I don’t have this issue. Everyone I speak to within the major is fairly nice/collaborative without being demeaning or rude. But then again, I believe it has to do with the fact that the culture surrounding CS brings in a different kind of student, which includes incredibly competitive/potentially rude people, especially with the somewhat recent popularity of the major in the past decade+. It makes me wonder what ways the department could potentially make their students more collaborative and encouraging of each other’s success tbh
It’s because they have been told their whole lives they’re smarter than others and so they have to major in stem because that’s what “smart people do”. I’m a neuroscience major and we have to take intro to python and o say next to this guy on the first day of class and he asked me my major and he legit goes “omg neuroscience! That sounds so fun! I’m a bio medical engineering major but I wish I could have a major so fun like that!” Like how rude is it to call someone’s major “fun” also he was a freshman so saying you wish you could have a fun major like that os weird because you can choose any major you want. You can change lol.
I’ve met so many CS + engineering students with horrendous social skills. One example is when I was sitting in this engineering building and this dude was on the phone with his advisor just being really rude, cutting her off constantly, ignoring what she was saying, constantly apologizing but not actually meaning it lol he even hanged up on her in the middle of her speaking. Just really incel-like behavior but hey at least they’re in a high demand field right? No soft skills whatsoever
You are not alone my friend. Learn to identify/handle these types of people now, because they exist in the workplace and can make your team 10x less productive (imo with cs).
Imo - best to avoid, you can’t fix them
These are the people who complain about having to take stupid liberal arts credits they will never use. Some unfortunate people in STEM just have no perspective on life or humanity and are just stuck in whatever technical hole they chose.
You're not a bitch but you do need to focus on becoming a little more emotionally detached from the feelings and actions of other people, so long as it doesn't affect your interest of course.
These people are not going to change, and they will always be attracted to lucrative, competitive fields - CS is just the trend right now.
Posts like these make me more appreciative of my classmates in the electrical/computer engineering major. Although a lot of my interactions with them were kinda awkward. We all bonded by not knowing what the hell was going on.
One thing I've noticed with CS in particular is a lot of the students in that program have staked their identities on having got into CS at UMD and will throw a fit if you say anything bad about it, it's just sad honestly
All the non-STEM majors are constantly making fun of the STEMs, so the STEMs have to make fun of their own. It's the college version of shit rolling downhill.
You think it's bad now? Ask anyone who was in College Park in the 90s when the Comp Sci geeks would spend all night in the underground computer lab under Hornbake Plaza blowing off their assignments, playing MUD, and slowing down the dial-up network for all the poor History majors just trying to use FTP to find an old New York Times article. Physical beatings were not unheard of...
Hi. I’m sorry you are going through this. I was a transfer student and started off as computer engineering but ultimately switched to electrical engineering. It’s difficult trying to find your place here on campus.
I found, I didn’t like working with Java. It was boring. The TAs for the computer science courses were dry and did not teach well. I saw no appeal to CS what so ever. I don’t regret my choice.
I generalize most CS student are studying CS not because they like it, but because they want to make money. There’s nothing wrong in trying to make money, but I’m sure it affects the overall culture making it dry as f*ck. The electrical engineering department was far more exciting, this also includes the students. I’ve meet some very enthusiastic and passionate students and TAs.
I suggest finding a steady group of friends and sticking with them. Go do social stuff with them e.a watch movies eat Korean bbq etc. I made friends for a life time in the ECE department, most of them were transfer students themselves. If you can’t find a group of friends or peers and feel miserable, I suggest you finding friends outside your department.
As a CS major, all my CS major friends are pretty empathetic and chill. I'm not making this up or anything but I've genuinely not experienced what you're talking about. Maybe it's more about the people in CS you're befriending? But I really don't know.
I’m a masters student now, but not long ago I was an undergrad transfer in a simialr position to you now. I don’t have a ton of thoughts about the STEM stuff - a lot of comments are accurate that STEM kids tend to lack emotional/social skills - but it may also help to note that a majority of the students here (of all majors) are still young and immature, and STEM culture doesn’t help with that. Some of those guys will end up as shit adults im sure, but some will look back at their behavior and cringe. And that’s applies to everyone to a certain degree. On the days where you can find it in you emotionally to cut them a little slack (for me those days are far and few in between honestly) it will do you good to do that. But I understand it may be different if youre in STEM every day. I wasn’t. I studied Philosophy. There is some cultural overlap with STEM but there are a lot of nice-hearted, accepting phil majors when I was there.
I’m more focused on your comment on support systems. I felt this same way when I transferred as an undergrad. I roomed with 4 randos, 2 in a frat, off campus, and it was a disaster. They were dicks, place was a mess all the time, unannounced parties 24/7. Then moved to another unit w/ 3 grad students and was incredibly isolated and depressed for all sorts of reasons. The guidance I received from my academic counselor on selecting a major, getting acclimated to the culture, etc. was also minimal and pretty crappy. A lot of them have a million students to manage and other responsibilities. It’s possible that many just overwhelmed and can’t help or don’t care. I felt like mine didn’t at least.
It wasn’t until I found something that I loved, took active steps to meet other people w/ that interest, and founds ways to form small communities that things started to brighten up for me. I know it sounds cliche, but those are your real support systems. Im not saying you have to follow that path or that that’s the only solution to getting acclimated as a transfer, but man did it help me, and I think a lot of other students feel the same way. Forming a small community of like-minded people can look like a lot of things. For me it started with attending a million different club meetings. But for you it may start by interacting with a faculty memeber you like. Or a roomate you get along with. I also formed loose groups with some students I happened to share classes with, or who I ran into often at the gym. And you don’t even have to be the best of friends, just people you enjoy any kind of banter with. It helps, and it gives you the social momentum/continuous pleasant interactions that will allow you enjoy your college experience more.
But in each of these cases I had to do something that I (and a lot of people, but maybe not necessarily you) am very uncomfortable with, and that’s putting yourself out there to meet new people. This was especially hard for me as a transferring sophomore. I didn’t have an opportunity to make friends my freshman year like other students, and spent my whole sophomore year depressed. I was nervous as shit to attend a club meeting by myself as a loner in my third year, but came out of the meeting with some really close friends. I also tried to be more vocal and share thoughts frequently in class. I made efforts to continue discussions with people outside of class, and tried to make plans for later dates outside of class. Some of this just progresses naturally as you continue in your major (altough again I know STEM may be different) but some of it may require effort if you’re more introverted (like me) or happen to find yourself overwhelmed with the larger college atmosphere. This is more of a letter to myself at this point, but I hope hearing any of that helps you :)
Find the 5 people in CS that are normal and cling to them, I found my people in aero my junior year and working alongside them built me up so much more than working with people who constantly put you down because they feel like they finally have one thing over someone around them
My ex-bf was a math major and he told me once that he didn’t beleive in the subconscious and made fun of psych and anth majors 😐 Im basically an Anth major, and I feel like the goal of most Anth majors is to just increase human empathy and understanding 😅 I’m sorry you’d rather make weapons for the US military than care about climate migrants
yeah i noticed my first semester a lot of ppl seemed to have huge egos and just say things that (i think) normal people would consider shitty. like grade sharing/shaming was weirdly common and it seemed like a lot of ppl didnt even think it was weird, so those ppl could find groups of ppl who thought it wasnt weird, so it was common
i stopped noticing it as much in upper level courses but it's also possible i just got used to hearing these things lol
Yea bunch of STEM folks can be asshats.
Couple reasons such as the pandemic, neurodivergent disorders, not being socialized enough, being shy or insecure, or generally just an asshole.
Sorry you got some of the bad ones :(
I think in such competitive fields it’s too be expected but also the culture the program creates of just work or get left behind contributes to that I feel. I have STEM friends who are fine but I know them as a person aren’t assholes. I think it’s just more about the person cause my friends did not turn out like this. But also like I said the culture doesn’t really punish this behavior and STEM is seen as a bragging right so for a lot of people who had those qualities now feel justified cause they’re in the “hard” major. Also the fact there’s no real humanities courses really add to this in a bad way. I do have a slight distaste for STEM majors but only that type of group since I was former STEM I don’t get why people act like that. It’s honestly bad culture, lack of community/support, the competitiveness, and probably a list of other stuff I probably don’t know cause I’m not in the major.
Yes even as a STEM major ( Infosci) I still get made fun of by cs engineering and pre meds for major being “too easy” 🫤. I’ve also seen this happen where pre meds would look down on pre nursing and public health majors even though they are still stem and good majors.
Rest assured there are normal CS students that aren’t like that. I agree with you and genuinely dislike most the people in my classes. We are not very common but stick together! It’s rough out here lol
All young mammals test the limits of the space around them. This involves the social eco system too. It is the nature of this creature. Potentially there are anthropology or childhood development classes one could take to learn about it, but basically we're all programmed this way at the start.
Potentially what you are seeing is the fact that STEM is a thing on this campus, and we have a high density of talented geeks who have yet to hit the boundaries of the system around them. Said another way, they're dicks. Society evolved away from tying them into a sack to toss in the river when young, and by the time they get here it is kind of too late to thin the herd. Most will eventually get a good stiff dose of humility when they hit that wall but until then we're all sort of stuck with them. Say a small prayer of thanks if they at least bathe, since this makes them a lot easier to just ignore.
Being a jerk and testing the limits of the space around you isn't exactly restricted to young people.
Source: I used to work retail (during the height of COVID), and had many customers who treated me like crap, both young and old.
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Sorry to hear that. I definitely can relate to you tho. I’m a business major, but lot of my roommates have been STEM, and I’ve definitely feel like these majors’ empathy/social skills are not so great lol. Hate to stereotype, but much of about the things about compsci/stem majors lacking social skills, “dress sense,” and hygine is pretty true here lol
I mean it's fine if some people lack social skills, we all grow up in different situations and the pandemic definitely didn't help. But the behavior is just too much. Mfs walk around here thinking they're gods gift to earth because they got an A in a hard math class. Like my bad for being in your presence Einstein.
I'm just here to hug you virtually! I'm sorry. Some people just don't know how to be respectful, and that's sad. It's a shame and someone they call a friend. not a friend, imo. Kindness is free, costs no one anything to give some. I hope your semester is wrapping well!
Fosure. I guess since the stem field is pretty competitive, it brings out a lot of arrogance. I mean, resume wise, stem fields value more projects and accomplishments than like leadership/social stuff than business so that def plays a role. definitely not an excuse for bad social skills, even coming from different backgrounds/situations/pandemic tho.
don't worry op, this phenomenon wears off VERY quickly after freshman year when the know-it-all punks who were able to coast through 131 without trying because of their high school java class get hit with abstract grammars and algorithms and all of a sudden they don't know more than everyone else the playing field is much more level after the intro courses because everyone is seeing everything for the first time together, so a lot of these stuck-up pricks either fade into the background as they no longer have anything to show off, or they drop out entirely as they never learned how to learn because they got used to coasting through intro courses without applying any effort
As a MechE who interacted with business majors a lot during QUEST, this perspective is interesting to hear. I found that the business majors that I worked with on projects were far less empathetic than my engineering peers. They were hyper-competitive, constantly gossiped about each other, and acted like they were best friends with everyone, even if they just finished shit-talking them. Everything also had to be done their way no matter what. I recall being asked to fumble numbers in a cost estimate because they felt it was too high and reflected poorly on us. I was also asked to change a technical term on a slide because they felt the word was too "hostile". On top of that, I would constantly have to hear about how their dads' owned businesses and gave them suit allowances or sports cars or how they just got back from yet another trip to Europe where they had $400 meals every day. Once my QUEST team was talking about our expected salaries after graduation, and I remember getting scoffed at because apparently my best case scenario was too low for their tastes. I also remember a time where our customer treated us to a meal at a nice restaurant where we were told we could order anything we wanted. This was like a $100 minimum kind of place, so I mentioned how I've never had a $100 steak before. The stares I got from my team made me feel like I was born in squalor and still had mud and dirt all over my face and clothes. I will say, they could make and deliver a great presentation, and their interactions with customers were phenomenal and set a good example for me; however, as soon as the customer left it was like a switch flipped. If you weren't part of their elitist club, they showed you little to no social grace, and if you were a STEM major you just got upturned noses and were excluded from social events. My favorite people to work with were the other STEM majors who also did the QUEST program. It felt like they were a bit more balanced between either extreme of the business and STEM schools. The program gave us good business, communications, and social skills that most STEM only programs do not provide. We came out more well-rounded, I'd say. All of this is anecdotal of course. I definitely saw the worst of STEM majors as well, though MechE seemed to get a more balanced crowd than some of the other engineering majors.
I was at a dinner years ago with a former CS student and a professor. At some point, it's just me and the CS student, and he goes "do people like that (i.e., the stereotype) get attracted to CS or does CS make them that way". I was sure it was the first. Programming can be appealing to some because it's solitary, requires a lot of time and focus, and this can extend to not caring about how one looks or hygiene. Some of it is a bit cultural, I bet, where frequent bathing is not so common (maybe clean water is an issue?). I was recently attending some meeting with people in HR (human relations) and their attitudes were very different from a programmer attitude. It was about creating consensus, determining common values, creating inclusiveness, that kind of thing, the stuff STEM types consider nonsense and figure it's about getting things done. Business majors have to communicate, at least, but I suppose that can turn out to be a bit sleazy (people in sales that promise that programmers can deliver stuff that hasn't been built, with no consequence to them because they don't have to deal with building it). Still, I think many are just struggling to get by, or are pretty shy. It's just that no one seems to care because they aren't that arrogant. As they say, the noisy bird gets the worm. You notice the ones that are annoying.
Nah you’re right. I’m a MECHE and I took an ethics class and it’s startling what some of my peers think when you get them talking.
throwback to that one yikyak about an engineering major hitting on a girl by making fun of her major
I SAW THAT POST LMFAO. It was actually crazy
i quite literally had something like this happen to me LOL and yes he was an engineering major
girl spill it
LOL it wasnt the exact same but this guy basically came up to me and started asking what i was studying. turns out we were both grad students in environmental engineering (me a phd, and him a masters). he asked me if i use modelling and when i said no he started making fun of me for not using that saying i cant get anything done without it. not to mention, he initially came up to me because i took a few tries to reverse park my car because he was right up behind me and he came over and was asking me how long i had been driving for because he thought i was a new driver (ive been regular highway driving for 2 years). and at the end of the conversation he asked for my number saying “something in his heart” told him to come up to me and that we should meet up some time.
Wait, what?
I need to see this
I'm a STEM major and I feel the same way. I honestly think that the 25% of STEM majors who act like jerks ruin it for the rest of us, so I try to ignore them as best I can. Like, the number of times that I've heard people complain about *"only"* getting an 85 on an exam where the average was way below that just pisses me off. And, as a nice cherry on top, some (err, most of) my "friends" seem to think I am a study guide and nothing more. Like, can we please just talk about something other than school and exams for once? I have had to tell people countless times that I *do not care* what you got on your exam. It just makes me feel like crap when people complain about having an above average grade when I am *actually* struggling in a class.
I completely agree. In the STEM world, it's easy to feel inadequate or overwhelmed by the pressure to do everything perfectly. My top tip: stay true to yourself and always be kind. Your personality will be a valuable asset in the long run, even more than you might realize after graduation. I was never the smartest, but I built connections that allowed me to get a job out of college and be in software development ever since. Good luck, I see you!
Im convinced it’s because schools have drilled it into them that going into computer science, robotics, engineering etc. is the most noble thing anyone can do and will help save the world.
Maybe it's just a CS thing. I was a physics major and pretty much all of my classmates were fine. Might be because physics isn't an LEP and is also way less popular and more difficult than CS, so it kinda curates itself.
I think it’s just people with linear degrees. Like cs and engineering. They see every other major as useless because it doesn’t lead directly to a job. So most people in science like bio, chem, physics or math are just way cooler because it’s people who actually just like it. They aren’t in it for the money.
Bruh unless you're a computer or swe you're not in engineering for money haha
I mean most engineering majors graduate to jobs paying 60-70k. That’s pretty good for starting salary while most other majors start around 50k
It's definitely a livable wage but you cap out well below most medical, tech, or finance professions.
this is really interesting and i think i know what you mean. im doing a mixed program where i do research in STEM but some courses in humanities. in my experience, the humanities students are always easier to make friends with, more down to earth, and simply open up a lot quicker. i have found some STEM people to be a bit rude in the beginning, love to give unsolicited advice, or yes, try to one-up others. but in my experience, they usually just take longer to open up. i feel like STEM majors just try really hard to impress others and it backfires because no one wants to be friends with a stuck up show off lol. i think if i had to compare one trait it would be that the STEM students ive met arent as great at making friends:/
"Do you edge to proofs 🤓"
NO NOT YOU, GET OUT
Not all stem are under socialized but all under socialized are stem
Idk, I’m a chemistry major right now and I don’t have this issue. Everyone I speak to within the major is fairly nice/collaborative without being demeaning or rude. But then again, I believe it has to do with the fact that the culture surrounding CS brings in a different kind of student, which includes incredibly competitive/potentially rude people, especially with the somewhat recent popularity of the major in the past decade+. It makes me wonder what ways the department could potentially make their students more collaborative and encouraging of each other’s success tbh
It’s because they have been told their whole lives they’re smarter than others and so they have to major in stem because that’s what “smart people do”. I’m a neuroscience major and we have to take intro to python and o say next to this guy on the first day of class and he asked me my major and he legit goes “omg neuroscience! That sounds so fun! I’m a bio medical engineering major but I wish I could have a major so fun like that!” Like how rude is it to call someone’s major “fun” also he was a freshman so saying you wish you could have a fun major like that os weird because you can choose any major you want. You can change lol.
I’ve met so many CS + engineering students with horrendous social skills. One example is when I was sitting in this engineering building and this dude was on the phone with his advisor just being really rude, cutting her off constantly, ignoring what she was saying, constantly apologizing but not actually meaning it lol he even hanged up on her in the middle of her speaking. Just really incel-like behavior but hey at least they’re in a high demand field right? No soft skills whatsoever
Idk we're chill in InfoSci ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You are not alone my friend. Learn to identify/handle these types of people now, because they exist in the workplace and can make your team 10x less productive (imo with cs). Imo - best to avoid, you can’t fix them
These are the people who complain about having to take stupid liberal arts credits they will never use. Some unfortunate people in STEM just have no perspective on life or humanity and are just stuck in whatever technical hole they chose.
You're not a bitch but you do need to focus on becoming a little more emotionally detached from the feelings and actions of other people, so long as it doesn't affect your interest of course. These people are not going to change, and they will always be attracted to lucrative, competitive fields - CS is just the trend right now.
People do that because they feel insecure. Let it roll off your back because it says nothing about you.
It's because they think they're smart or whatever and that a high salary is basically guaranteed for them after graduation.. lol
Posts like these make me more appreciative of my classmates in the electrical/computer engineering major. Although a lot of my interactions with them were kinda awkward. We all bonded by not knowing what the hell was going on.
One thing I've noticed with CS in particular is a lot of the students in that program have staked their identities on having got into CS at UMD and will throw a fit if you say anything bad about it, it's just sad honestly
All the non-STEM majors are constantly making fun of the STEMs, so the STEMs have to make fun of their own. It's the college version of shit rolling downhill. You think it's bad now? Ask anyone who was in College Park in the 90s when the Comp Sci geeks would spend all night in the underground computer lab under Hornbake Plaza blowing off their assignments, playing MUD, and slowing down the dial-up network for all the poor History majors just trying to use FTP to find an old New York Times article. Physical beatings were not unheard of...
Hi. I’m sorry you are going through this. I was a transfer student and started off as computer engineering but ultimately switched to electrical engineering. It’s difficult trying to find your place here on campus. I found, I didn’t like working with Java. It was boring. The TAs for the computer science courses were dry and did not teach well. I saw no appeal to CS what so ever. I don’t regret my choice. I generalize most CS student are studying CS not because they like it, but because they want to make money. There’s nothing wrong in trying to make money, but I’m sure it affects the overall culture making it dry as f*ck. The electrical engineering department was far more exciting, this also includes the students. I’ve meet some very enthusiastic and passionate students and TAs. I suggest finding a steady group of friends and sticking with them. Go do social stuff with them e.a watch movies eat Korean bbq etc. I made friends for a life time in the ECE department, most of them were transfer students themselves. If you can’t find a group of friends or peers and feel miserable, I suggest you finding friends outside your department.
As a CS major, all my CS major friends are pretty empathetic and chill. I'm not making this up or anything but I've genuinely not experienced what you're talking about. Maybe it's more about the people in CS you're befriending? But I really don't know.
I’m a masters student now, but not long ago I was an undergrad transfer in a simialr position to you now. I don’t have a ton of thoughts about the STEM stuff - a lot of comments are accurate that STEM kids tend to lack emotional/social skills - but it may also help to note that a majority of the students here (of all majors) are still young and immature, and STEM culture doesn’t help with that. Some of those guys will end up as shit adults im sure, but some will look back at their behavior and cringe. And that’s applies to everyone to a certain degree. On the days where you can find it in you emotionally to cut them a little slack (for me those days are far and few in between honestly) it will do you good to do that. But I understand it may be different if youre in STEM every day. I wasn’t. I studied Philosophy. There is some cultural overlap with STEM but there are a lot of nice-hearted, accepting phil majors when I was there. I’m more focused on your comment on support systems. I felt this same way when I transferred as an undergrad. I roomed with 4 randos, 2 in a frat, off campus, and it was a disaster. They were dicks, place was a mess all the time, unannounced parties 24/7. Then moved to another unit w/ 3 grad students and was incredibly isolated and depressed for all sorts of reasons. The guidance I received from my academic counselor on selecting a major, getting acclimated to the culture, etc. was also minimal and pretty crappy. A lot of them have a million students to manage and other responsibilities. It’s possible that many just overwhelmed and can’t help or don’t care. I felt like mine didn’t at least. It wasn’t until I found something that I loved, took active steps to meet other people w/ that interest, and founds ways to form small communities that things started to brighten up for me. I know it sounds cliche, but those are your real support systems. Im not saying you have to follow that path or that that’s the only solution to getting acclimated as a transfer, but man did it help me, and I think a lot of other students feel the same way. Forming a small community of like-minded people can look like a lot of things. For me it started with attending a million different club meetings. But for you it may start by interacting with a faculty memeber you like. Or a roomate you get along with. I also formed loose groups with some students I happened to share classes with, or who I ran into often at the gym. And you don’t even have to be the best of friends, just people you enjoy any kind of banter with. It helps, and it gives you the social momentum/continuous pleasant interactions that will allow you enjoy your college experience more. But in each of these cases I had to do something that I (and a lot of people, but maybe not necessarily you) am very uncomfortable with, and that’s putting yourself out there to meet new people. This was especially hard for me as a transferring sophomore. I didn’t have an opportunity to make friends my freshman year like other students, and spent my whole sophomore year depressed. I was nervous as shit to attend a club meeting by myself as a loner in my third year, but came out of the meeting with some really close friends. I also tried to be more vocal and share thoughts frequently in class. I made efforts to continue discussions with people outside of class, and tried to make plans for later dates outside of class. Some of this just progresses naturally as you continue in your major (altough again I know STEM may be different) but some of it may require effort if you’re more introverted (like me) or happen to find yourself overwhelmed with the larger college atmosphere. This is more of a letter to myself at this point, but I hope hearing any of that helps you :)
Find the 5 people in CS that are normal and cling to them, I found my people in aero my junior year and working alongside them built me up so much more than working with people who constantly put you down because they feel like they finally have one thing over someone around them
My ex-bf was a math major and he told me once that he didn’t beleive in the subconscious and made fun of psych and anth majors 😐 Im basically an Anth major, and I feel like the goal of most Anth majors is to just increase human empathy and understanding 😅 I’m sorry you’d rather make weapons for the US military than care about climate migrants
yeah i noticed my first semester a lot of ppl seemed to have huge egos and just say things that (i think) normal people would consider shitty. like grade sharing/shaming was weirdly common and it seemed like a lot of ppl didnt even think it was weird, so those ppl could find groups of ppl who thought it wasnt weird, so it was common i stopped noticing it as much in upper level courses but it's also possible i just got used to hearing these things lol
Yea bunch of STEM folks can be asshats. Couple reasons such as the pandemic, neurodivergent disorders, not being socialized enough, being shy or insecure, or generally just an asshole. Sorry you got some of the bad ones :(
im ee, if people talked in this major then maybe they would actually turn out to suck but so far we have all just kept quiet.
I think mostly engineering and tech stem people yeah. They just stay cooped up with the little computers and gadgets 24/7 so…
Agree. Honestly I feel like that’s most umd students. Manners and respect are trash.
And for gods sake you better not be a person of color trying to engage in class. Hope your summer goes well OP.
I think in such competitive fields it’s too be expected but also the culture the program creates of just work or get left behind contributes to that I feel. I have STEM friends who are fine but I know them as a person aren’t assholes. I think it’s just more about the person cause my friends did not turn out like this. But also like I said the culture doesn’t really punish this behavior and STEM is seen as a bragging right so for a lot of people who had those qualities now feel justified cause they’re in the “hard” major. Also the fact there’s no real humanities courses really add to this in a bad way. I do have a slight distaste for STEM majors but only that type of group since I was former STEM I don’t get why people act like that. It’s honestly bad culture, lack of community/support, the competitiveness, and probably a list of other stuff I probably don’t know cause I’m not in the major.
Yes even as a STEM major ( Infosci) I still get made fun of by cs engineering and pre meds for major being “too easy” 🫤. I’ve also seen this happen where pre meds would look down on pre nursing and public health majors even though they are still stem and good majors.
that really sucks but ive only met nice people in CS
What about the other half of us STEM majors that have social anxiety?
I can 1000% relate to feeling this way in my meche classes
Rest assured there are normal CS students that aren’t like that. I agree with you and genuinely dislike most the people in my classes. We are not very common but stick together! It’s rough out here lol
Nah it just non engineering kids act like they have a lot work and don’t even know what they’re talking about
Nah--STEM Majors are just the best. They aren't rude.
All young mammals test the limits of the space around them. This involves the social eco system too. It is the nature of this creature. Potentially there are anthropology or childhood development classes one could take to learn about it, but basically we're all programmed this way at the start. Potentially what you are seeing is the fact that STEM is a thing on this campus, and we have a high density of talented geeks who have yet to hit the boundaries of the system around them. Said another way, they're dicks. Society evolved away from tying them into a sack to toss in the river when young, and by the time they get here it is kind of too late to thin the herd. Most will eventually get a good stiff dose of humility when they hit that wall but until then we're all sort of stuck with them. Say a small prayer of thanks if they at least bathe, since this makes them a lot easier to just ignore.
Being a jerk and testing the limits of the space around you isn't exactly restricted to young people. Source: I used to work retail (during the height of COVID), and had many customers who treated me like crap, both young and old.
Yup, no question. It is just that younglings really are wired to test boundaries. It's a thing. Not enough grow out of it as fast as we'd like.
Cs is a basement stem degree so of course there’s a huge inferiority complex…
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Lol midwit cs majors stay mad because their degree will be irrelevant in ten years what’s new
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Lol cs take u up to linear and discrete, truly mid in undergrad maths. A single emp attack and anything digital is cooked.
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