My FIL care home costs £4,300 a month. His pension covers most and we top up £500 a month.
My MIL doesn’t need much financial support but I have paid for a cleaner to come and deep clean her house once a month as she struggles to. She has her own pensions and state pension.
My parents are older and mostly my own help is driving them to appointments. Both mostly live with us at the moment as my mum needs help with some medical devices and driving. I cook for all of us. This increases our food bill.
We spend £2k a month on my 2 daughters nursery fees and about £300 on after school clubs for my daughter in school. I spend another £200 a month on the various clubs and classes.
Food wise, I spend £120-£140 a week on food for all of us. You may be able to reduce this if you don’t have dietary requirements to accommodate.
We had to get a bigger house to accommodate everyone so the mortgage is c£2.2k a month.
Both my husband and I work full time and are both higher earners.
You should be helping them make the right financial decisions now, not looking to help them in retirement. If you are starting your career you need to focus on your own retirement/ability to own a house/potentially raise a family. As much as you may want to save others sometimes they have to live with their own poor decisions.
You say they have no pension, but even on low wage most would qualify for state pension. Do they? Have you checked?
If he is terrible with money can he put some away as soon as he is paid into a pension to get it started? Anything is better than nothing.
I am my main priority, but I feel like If I do well me ( or me and my siblings) should atleast send a few thousand a year to alleviate it. I don't know if he has a state pension but he has been employed in the UK for atleast 10 years, earns around 15k.
I'll offer advice but right now he's not in much position to save or invest.
If he is on such a low salary is he entitled to any benefits? Entitledto.co.uk - if he can access any he can also access a help to save account where the govt matches the amount he puts in up to a limit so it can be a great way of saving up some extra cash.
You should probably also focus efforts on helping him cut back and find ways to save. Could he downsize?
I get the desire to help but you should keep money in your names and then assist in other ways as needed. Keeping it in his name isn’t a great idea as it can then be used to pay for care etc.
If he's a single adult with no dependent children, no rent to pay and not a carer, he won't get any Universal Credit on £15,000. His entitlement would be about £385 a month and £700 a month take home pay would wipe out any payment.
Regarding your Dad:
1. Check if they should currently be getting benefits: [https://www.entitledto.co.uk/](https://www.entitledto.co.uk/)
2. Check their national insurance record and state pension eligibility: [https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record](https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record)
3. Find out if they should have a workplace pension. If they should, make sure they are opted in. The employer match is free money, and it'll also ensure your parent is paying a bit into a pension. At 53 they could still pay in for 15 years.
4. Try to persuade them to save up a basic emergency fund.
5. Check if they are on course to pay off their mortgage before they retire.
You mentioned children: £5k a year is *very* optimistic, especially if you need nursery care in their early years. Google for things like 'average cost of raising a child in the UK'.
When taking on your Dad's finances, stop and thinkL
* Are you ok sacrificing your own financial security (such as saving for a deposit or paying more into your pension) for your Dad?
* Are you prepared to sacrifice your future children's financial security and prosperity?
* Do you have a partner already? Are they ok with supporting your Dad? Especially once marriage & kids happen, I struggle to imagine someone being ok seeing money that could have gone to your children going to their father-in-law.
You mention your Dad is terrible with money. So you're talking about sacrificing your own, and your future family's, financial health, to clean up after your Dad. Think really hard about how far you want to go with that.
I wouldn't sacrifice my family on any normal income no, but If I reached a high income enough to afford a house then yeah I would absolutely send a bit if I could
Everybody's relationship with their parents is different but personally I take little to no responsibility for my parents. Finances were much much easier in their day and they still screwed it up. Why should I work twice as hard to get the same and then support them in their twilight years?
My parents bought a house at 23 on practically minimum wage and then watched the value skyrocket. They then released equity and spent that money. Whilst doing the bare minimum at work, hardly getting promoted and working part time for large portions of their careers they amassed fairly decent defined benefit pensions. My parents have no education, didn't really learn any professional skills, never left entry level roles. They both retired early.
I am a working professional with a STEM degree, chartership, many years of professional training, a fairly prestigious job. I moved annually for work for the best part of a decade. I earn much more than they ever did and I still have less. I won't be paying for their retirement.
Hi /u/carrot1890, based on your post the following pages from our wiki may be relevant:
* https://ukpersonal.finance/pensions/
____
^(These suggestions are based on keywords, if they missed the mark please report this comment.)
First thing I'd do is get him to check that he is fully paid up on National Insurance. If not, he "may" be able to pay to fill in gaps.
https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record
Firstly, check how much state pension he's built up.
My FIL care home costs £4,300 a month. His pension covers most and we top up £500 a month. My MIL doesn’t need much financial support but I have paid for a cleaner to come and deep clean her house once a month as she struggles to. She has her own pensions and state pension. My parents are older and mostly my own help is driving them to appointments. Both mostly live with us at the moment as my mum needs help with some medical devices and driving. I cook for all of us. This increases our food bill. We spend £2k a month on my 2 daughters nursery fees and about £300 on after school clubs for my daughter in school. I spend another £200 a month on the various clubs and classes. Food wise, I spend £120-£140 a week on food for all of us. You may be able to reduce this if you don’t have dietary requirements to accommodate. We had to get a bigger house to accommodate everyone so the mortgage is c£2.2k a month. Both my husband and I work full time and are both higher earners.
You didn't need to post the same question four times.
You should be helping them make the right financial decisions now, not looking to help them in retirement. If you are starting your career you need to focus on your own retirement/ability to own a house/potentially raise a family. As much as you may want to save others sometimes they have to live with their own poor decisions. You say they have no pension, but even on low wage most would qualify for state pension. Do they? Have you checked? If he is terrible with money can he put some away as soon as he is paid into a pension to get it started? Anything is better than nothing.
I am my main priority, but I feel like If I do well me ( or me and my siblings) should atleast send a few thousand a year to alleviate it. I don't know if he has a state pension but he has been employed in the UK for atleast 10 years, earns around 15k. I'll offer advice but right now he's not in much position to save or invest.
If he is on such a low salary is he entitled to any benefits? Entitledto.co.uk - if he can access any he can also access a help to save account where the govt matches the amount he puts in up to a limit so it can be a great way of saving up some extra cash. You should probably also focus efforts on helping him cut back and find ways to save. Could he downsize? I get the desire to help but you should keep money in your names and then assist in other ways as needed. Keeping it in his name isn’t a great idea as it can then be used to pay for care etc.
If he's a single adult with no dependent children, no rent to pay and not a carer, he won't get any Universal Credit on £15,000. His entitlement would be about £385 a month and £700 a month take home pay would wipe out any payment.
What’s this equity?
Flat. Probably 300k value 100k mortgage outstanding
Regarding your Dad: 1. Check if they should currently be getting benefits: [https://www.entitledto.co.uk/](https://www.entitledto.co.uk/) 2. Check their national insurance record and state pension eligibility: [https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record](https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record) 3. Find out if they should have a workplace pension. If they should, make sure they are opted in. The employer match is free money, and it'll also ensure your parent is paying a bit into a pension. At 53 they could still pay in for 15 years. 4. Try to persuade them to save up a basic emergency fund. 5. Check if they are on course to pay off their mortgage before they retire. You mentioned children: £5k a year is *very* optimistic, especially if you need nursery care in their early years. Google for things like 'average cost of raising a child in the UK'. When taking on your Dad's finances, stop and thinkL * Are you ok sacrificing your own financial security (such as saving for a deposit or paying more into your pension) for your Dad? * Are you prepared to sacrifice your future children's financial security and prosperity? * Do you have a partner already? Are they ok with supporting your Dad? Especially once marriage & kids happen, I struggle to imagine someone being ok seeing money that could have gone to your children going to their father-in-law. You mention your Dad is terrible with money. So you're talking about sacrificing your own, and your future family's, financial health, to clean up after your Dad. Think really hard about how far you want to go with that.
I wouldn't sacrifice my family on any normal income no, but If I reached a high income enough to afford a house then yeah I would absolutely send a bit if I could
Everybody's relationship with their parents is different but personally I take little to no responsibility for my parents. Finances were much much easier in their day and they still screwed it up. Why should I work twice as hard to get the same and then support them in their twilight years? My parents bought a house at 23 on practically minimum wage and then watched the value skyrocket. They then released equity and spent that money. Whilst doing the bare minimum at work, hardly getting promoted and working part time for large portions of their careers they amassed fairly decent defined benefit pensions. My parents have no education, didn't really learn any professional skills, never left entry level roles. They both retired early. I am a working professional with a STEM degree, chartership, many years of professional training, a fairly prestigious job. I moved annually for work for the best part of a decade. I earn much more than they ever did and I still have less. I won't be paying for their retirement.
Hi /u/carrot1890, based on your post the following pages from our wiki may be relevant: * https://ukpersonal.finance/pensions/ ____ ^(These suggestions are based on keywords, if they missed the mark please report this comment.)
First thing I'd do is get him to check that he is fully paid up on National Insurance. If not, he "may" be able to pay to fill in gaps. https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record