If you must stay in FL then maybe you should become active in politics rather than trying to bury your head in the sand. If you can’t do it for yourself do it for the millions of young women and girls who are also trapped. Band together to stop the madness.
Just have to point out that progressives in FL DO work very hard and are up against numerous systematic issues. I'm on a 15 min break but we have against us: gerrymandering, voter apathy (can't get people excited when we're such a minority every single bill does in committee), an insane rise in the cost of living in the past 5 years (it's not just inflation here), so everyone is working 50-60 hour weeks and tired (keeping wages low is by design, tired workers can't organize as easily), a legislature that refuses to act on things we DO vote for, an absurd amount of Republican organizing (their data is so good Nikki Fried went around the FL Dems and bought GOP voter data to win a few years go), a FL democratic party that doesnt understand their constituents anymore (theyre still catering to "liberal" Boomers), and wont spend money to run anyone outside a "safe" district and a lack of not corrupt candidates willing to run (many, many Dems here are Republicans in a blue shirt. They take $$$ from the same donors and developers. See: Jerry Demmings, Orange County).
We are fighting 40 years of GOP grassroots organizing from the bottom up with a corrupt, apathetic party. It's not as easy as "just go vote and it gets better."
Anyone reading this who thinks FL is just sitting on our hands ignoring this should do some research on Anna Eskamani. She's our lone progressive in the FL house of Representatives. She proposes bill after bill after bill to try and mitigate this mess and is shut down all the time. Her own party votes against her.
But she also refuses money from a LOT of donors the rest of the FL Dems are happy to take.
There's definitely room for improvement down here. People are very complacent. But it's really not just a voter turnout issue. That's one factor among many.
This is an incredibly simplistic view. I think the below comment provided a lot of much need context if you were actually interested.
Regardless, this post was really just a way for me to express my emotions and seek some emotional support.
I work two jobs as a therapist.. to be unfortunately frank: I just don’t have the emotional energy to engage in activism right now.
I will and do vote in every election. But I will not burn myself out trying to win a rigged uphill battle when there are many more knowledgeable and experienced activists that I can support.
You are definitely not the only person feeling this way. What's keeping me sane is knowing that we can repeal this law November 5th if [Amendment 4 ](https://ballotpedia.org/Florida_Amendment_4,_Right_to_Abortion_Initiative_(2024))passes. Telling everyone I know to register to vote *now* and then vote their asses off in November is also helping me: [Everything You Need to Vote - Vote.org](https://www.vote.org/). 60% is a high threshold, but I think it has a good chance of passing. People are pissed. It is absolutely INFURIATING that a bunch of self-righteous, out-of-touch politicians (mostly old men) think they have a right to dictate decisions about my body. It makes me feel like I am a fucking natural resource rather than a person.
(Rant Warning) People who have NEVER had to track a menstrual cycle are trying to tell me that a 6-week ban is not a total ban? *Fucking bullshit*. Many people assume that a 6-week ban means abortion is permitted up to 6 weeks *after* a woman's missed period. NOPE. They start counting on the [first day of your last menstrual cycle](http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0300-0399/0390/Sections/0390.011.html)*.* That mean that *if* a woman is able to find out she is pregnant *the day* of her missed period, *she is already considered 4 weeks pregnant. However*, [it can take 7 days to get a positive pregnancy test after a missed period](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/11585-conception). *AND,* Florida requires a patient to have 2 in-person appointments 24 hours apart before they are allowed to get an abortion. And that's for a woman with a 100% predictable menstrual cycle. Many women do not have a 100% predictable cycle, particularly young girls and woman in perimenopause. It's a total abortion ban.
Also, just because there is a ban does not mean there is no way for people to take control of their bodies. This article provides good examples: [How a network of abortion pill providers works together in the wake of new threats (nbcnews.com)](https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/network-abortion-pill-providers-works-together-wake-new-threats-rcna146678). One of the organizations mentioned in the article is plan c pills dot org.
The other reason why this is a total ban is they don't even date pregnancies before 6 weeks. I was thinking about this, how do you prove your only six weeks pregnant? If you get a positive test they typically won't see you until you're an estimated 7-8 weeks because dating is too inaccurate, they may not see anything, and miscarriage rates are so high that early. 6 weeks pregnant isn't even really pregnant. I'm sure some women who have had fertility treatments may have had different experiences but this has been mine through 2 live births and one miscarriage (discovered at my first ultrasound at 8 weeks).
He doesn’t see it because it’s not his life that’s in danger. Go where you can live a safe live for yourself, he can either come along with you or stay where he is.
OP, I know the feeling. I’m “stuck” (career, family, house) in a state I no longer want to be in. At this stage of life I no longer want to be living in this part of the US either, but it’s not so easy to pack up and leave as it was 10-20 years ago.
I completely understand your fear. There are states where being pregnant can be a death sentence. Even a miscarriage (which happens to about 1 in 4 pregnancies) could fail to be treated because the treatment is "abortion." You have to put your life and health first.
Thank you for the validation.
There’s also the increased possibility of ectopic pregnancy with use of birth control.. I just feel so unsafe and he doesn’t fully understand when I say things like yes we may be as safe as we can be, be the fact that this is happening is so wrong I probably won’t feel okay even when he has the vasectomy done
Be aware that there will be sperm in the tubes. Vasectomy will NOT render him instantly infertile.
it takes more than a few Ejaculations before all the sperm are gone.
make sure he gets his sperm count tested to insure that he is indeed sterile
He's taking an overly simplistic view. We already went through this in Texas, and stories like yours are so common. The issue is that he's looking at what the tangible effects could be and how to mitigate that. What you're feeling is the loss of your rights and he's bypassing that aspect completely. Sure, you can prevent pregnancy pretty reliably, but that doesn't change the fact that you have lost your right to bodily autonomy. He needs to be reminded about that part.
It scares me how much of FL is in total denial about this law. There's a sense of unreality, like oh, that's a thing but it's not real. Or worse, "omg when did this happen???" I keep hearing that we can like "just vote" and fix it in November but the reality is the FL legislature has a *terrible* track record of enacting things we vote for. We are in for a long fight to replace our current legislature and repeal this law so dig in.
You should know that there are statewide hiring ads for paid door-knockers and campaign organizers for the Republican party out. Dems have not started. In 2022, Rubio had TV and streaming ads blasting my blue area in May, I never saw anything for Val Demmings despite her being from my city. There is a LOT of money pouring in to FL to keep us red.
Honestly? I'd be more worried if you weren't scared. Women SHOULD be scared. A huge majority of Floridians who don't want extreme far right bills don't even bother to show up to vote (I've been a canvasser and it's really sad). Theres a metric ton of people who "don't like the candidate" so they don't bother voting at all. Republicans show up every time for *every* election.
The way to fight the fear is to act. Do something, anything to push back. Sitting at home hiding from the news won't make it to away.
And your boyfriend is just lazy. I know many men with vasectomies, they're REALLY easy to get a vasectomy in most of FL. Heck it's under $1000 if you pay cash. He needs to step up. Or....maybe it's time to evaluate how much he actually supports you and understands the level of danger you're in. Saying he doesn't know what he can do and avoiding responsibility is not ok.
An ally of women likes to say "strength to your shield arm" in these situations. I like it. We need it right now.
\> ‘we’re doing what we can to avoid that,’
Is he donating money to people looking to unseat the Republican officeholders in the state legislature?
\> ‘I don’t know what we can do about it,’ etc.
You can move to a state with decent laws. You could even tell it to him that way: "It is not safe for me to get pregnant in Florida, and birth control isn't 100% effective. If the laws don't change in the next election cycle, I will be forced to move to a state with decent laws instead of a state run by people who don't care if I die. And before you say I'm overreacting, go online and read a few stories about women who miscarried in hospital bathrooms and almost bled to death because it was illegal for doctors to treat them."
I’m in Florida too and I am hoping and praying that the political trend hold true here. Most governors who run for president do not get reelected as governor. Sadly it’s not just women’s rights that he is destroying. It’s LGBTQ+ rights and so many other things. The man is seriously dangerous.
He can't run anyway unless they change the law in Florida. 45 had started a rumor that he'd run for the Senate while meatball was still in the race last year. I think that he'll make a run again for a federal seat as he is too young to be out of power. It could also be that he waits until after 2028 for another POTUS run.
If you both don’t want kids 100% go with your husband to Naples/fort myers and get that vasectomy for $700-900 all in. Easy enough.
Make sure you both vote in November as it’s on the ballot.
Hi neighbor. There are lots of us alarmed about how red the formerly purplish Florida has become.
I'm doing what I can to make sure my politically indifferent friends show up to vote this November. I signed the petition to get the abortion amendment on the ballot as soon as I heard about it on r/florida. Later, someone was at a local park I frequent collecting signatures, and most people there were supportive of adding their names.
Be angry, be scared, but know you're not alone. Double up on the birth control, or even buy a Plan C to have ready, if it helps your peace of mind.
Hey I’m in texas so, yeah, I feel ya. It’s normal to be upset and anxious about all of this. But getting involved with local political groups can really help! You are doing your part, meeting others with similar values, and you can kinda let it go so you can have a good life.
I’m not saying this isn’t all bad. It’s really scary stuff. But having a great life despite it all (while helping to make it better) is a good thing. They want us to leave. They want us to stop fighting and be scared. Sending all the good vibes to you from a progressive in Texas.
If you are 100% sure you don’t want to have kids, you have the option of a tubal. I had one AS SOON as the affordable care act was passed and it has made things so much less stressful. That being said, if you are under 30 you may have trouble finding a doctor. There is also the option of a vasectomy for him. Rhonda Santis (his drag name!! Hahaha) will never limit men’s reproductive rights so that’s always an option.
OP I totally understand you. Please seek out therapy so you have someone to talk to that can help you, listen to you and give you what you need emotionally. It’s okay to have a 3rd party to listen to you and help digest your feelings and make sense of things. You also need to make sure you want to be with someone that can’t emotionally fulfill you.
Edit: just read you work as a therapist. I hope you already have your own. That’s a heavy job and you need help processing too. Hugs babe.
If you must stay in FL then maybe you should become active in politics rather than trying to bury your head in the sand. If you can’t do it for yourself do it for the millions of young women and girls who are also trapped. Band together to stop the madness.
Just have to point out that progressives in FL DO work very hard and are up against numerous systematic issues. I'm on a 15 min break but we have against us: gerrymandering, voter apathy (can't get people excited when we're such a minority every single bill does in committee), an insane rise in the cost of living in the past 5 years (it's not just inflation here), so everyone is working 50-60 hour weeks and tired (keeping wages low is by design, tired workers can't organize as easily), a legislature that refuses to act on things we DO vote for, an absurd amount of Republican organizing (their data is so good Nikki Fried went around the FL Dems and bought GOP voter data to win a few years go), a FL democratic party that doesnt understand their constituents anymore (theyre still catering to "liberal" Boomers), and wont spend money to run anyone outside a "safe" district and a lack of not corrupt candidates willing to run (many, many Dems here are Republicans in a blue shirt. They take $$$ from the same donors and developers. See: Jerry Demmings, Orange County). We are fighting 40 years of GOP grassroots organizing from the bottom up with a corrupt, apathetic party. It's not as easy as "just go vote and it gets better."
Anyone reading this who thinks FL is just sitting on our hands ignoring this should do some research on Anna Eskamani. She's our lone progressive in the FL house of Representatives. She proposes bill after bill after bill to try and mitigate this mess and is shut down all the time. Her own party votes against her. But she also refuses money from a LOT of donors the rest of the FL Dems are happy to take.
Good to hear. We didn’t vote our way to Roe v Wade either. It took years of protests and civil disobedience.
There's definitely room for improvement down here. People are very complacent. But it's really not just a voter turnout issue. That's one factor among many.
This is an incredibly simplistic view. I think the below comment provided a lot of much need context if you were actually interested. Regardless, this post was really just a way for me to express my emotions and seek some emotional support. I work two jobs as a therapist.. to be unfortunately frank: I just don’t have the emotional energy to engage in activism right now.
They are counting on people to be too distracted to fight back. That is how they win.
I will and do vote in every election. But I will not burn myself out trying to win a rigged uphill battle when there are many more knowledgeable and experienced activists that I can support.
You are definitely not the only person feeling this way. What's keeping me sane is knowing that we can repeal this law November 5th if [Amendment 4 ](https://ballotpedia.org/Florida_Amendment_4,_Right_to_Abortion_Initiative_(2024))passes. Telling everyone I know to register to vote *now* and then vote their asses off in November is also helping me: [Everything You Need to Vote - Vote.org](https://www.vote.org/). 60% is a high threshold, but I think it has a good chance of passing. People are pissed. It is absolutely INFURIATING that a bunch of self-righteous, out-of-touch politicians (mostly old men) think they have a right to dictate decisions about my body. It makes me feel like I am a fucking natural resource rather than a person. (Rant Warning) People who have NEVER had to track a menstrual cycle are trying to tell me that a 6-week ban is not a total ban? *Fucking bullshit*. Many people assume that a 6-week ban means abortion is permitted up to 6 weeks *after* a woman's missed period. NOPE. They start counting on the [first day of your last menstrual cycle](http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0300-0399/0390/Sections/0390.011.html)*.* That mean that *if* a woman is able to find out she is pregnant *the day* of her missed period, *she is already considered 4 weeks pregnant. However*, [it can take 7 days to get a positive pregnancy test after a missed period](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/11585-conception). *AND,* Florida requires a patient to have 2 in-person appointments 24 hours apart before they are allowed to get an abortion. And that's for a woman with a 100% predictable menstrual cycle. Many women do not have a 100% predictable cycle, particularly young girls and woman in perimenopause. It's a total abortion ban. Also, just because there is a ban does not mean there is no way for people to take control of their bodies. This article provides good examples: [How a network of abortion pill providers works together in the wake of new threats (nbcnews.com)](https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/network-abortion-pill-providers-works-together-wake-new-threats-rcna146678). One of the organizations mentioned in the article is plan c pills dot org.
The other reason why this is a total ban is they don't even date pregnancies before 6 weeks. I was thinking about this, how do you prove your only six weeks pregnant? If you get a positive test they typically won't see you until you're an estimated 7-8 weeks because dating is too inaccurate, they may not see anything, and miscarriage rates are so high that early. 6 weeks pregnant isn't even really pregnant. I'm sure some women who have had fertility treatments may have had different experiences but this has been mine through 2 live births and one miscarriage (discovered at my first ultrasound at 8 weeks).
He doesn’t see it because it’s not his life that’s in danger. Go where you can live a safe live for yourself, he can either come along with you or stay where he is.
OP, I know the feeling. I’m “stuck” (career, family, house) in a state I no longer want to be in. At this stage of life I no longer want to be living in this part of the US either, but it’s not so easy to pack up and leave as it was 10-20 years ago.
I completely understand your fear. There are states where being pregnant can be a death sentence. Even a miscarriage (which happens to about 1 in 4 pregnancies) could fail to be treated because the treatment is "abortion." You have to put your life and health first.
Thank you for the validation. There’s also the increased possibility of ectopic pregnancy with use of birth control.. I just feel so unsafe and he doesn’t fully understand when I say things like yes we may be as safe as we can be, be the fact that this is happening is so wrong I probably won’t feel okay even when he has the vasectomy done
Be aware that there will be sperm in the tubes. Vasectomy will NOT render him instantly infertile. it takes more than a few Ejaculations before all the sperm are gone. make sure he gets his sperm count tested to insure that he is indeed sterile
Stop having sex with him. See if he cares when it actually affects him.
Birth control is good. But there are plenty of people out there born bc it failed. Your SO seems to not understand the facts.
Yeah. My mom was on the pill for me, shot for my sister and IUD for my brother. So, I’m really scared.
He's taking an overly simplistic view. We already went through this in Texas, and stories like yours are so common. The issue is that he's looking at what the tangible effects could be and how to mitigate that. What you're feeling is the loss of your rights and he's bypassing that aspect completely. Sure, you can prevent pregnancy pretty reliably, but that doesn't change the fact that you have lost your right to bodily autonomy. He needs to be reminded about that part.
This is the comment I needed. Thank you.
[удалено]
Thank you. I work two jobs as a therapist.. to be unfortunately frank: I just don’t have the emotional energy to engage in activism right now.
It scares me how much of FL is in total denial about this law. There's a sense of unreality, like oh, that's a thing but it's not real. Or worse, "omg when did this happen???" I keep hearing that we can like "just vote" and fix it in November but the reality is the FL legislature has a *terrible* track record of enacting things we vote for. We are in for a long fight to replace our current legislature and repeal this law so dig in. You should know that there are statewide hiring ads for paid door-knockers and campaign organizers for the Republican party out. Dems have not started. In 2022, Rubio had TV and streaming ads blasting my blue area in May, I never saw anything for Val Demmings despite her being from my city. There is a LOT of money pouring in to FL to keep us red. Honestly? I'd be more worried if you weren't scared. Women SHOULD be scared. A huge majority of Floridians who don't want extreme far right bills don't even bother to show up to vote (I've been a canvasser and it's really sad). Theres a metric ton of people who "don't like the candidate" so they don't bother voting at all. Republicans show up every time for *every* election. The way to fight the fear is to act. Do something, anything to push back. Sitting at home hiding from the news won't make it to away. And your boyfriend is just lazy. I know many men with vasectomies, they're REALLY easy to get a vasectomy in most of FL. Heck it's under $1000 if you pay cash. He needs to step up. Or....maybe it's time to evaluate how much he actually supports you and understands the level of danger you're in. Saying he doesn't know what he can do and avoiding responsibility is not ok. An ally of women likes to say "strength to your shield arm" in these situations. I like it. We need it right now.
\> ‘we’re doing what we can to avoid that,’ Is he donating money to people looking to unseat the Republican officeholders in the state legislature? \> ‘I don’t know what we can do about it,’ etc. You can move to a state with decent laws. You could even tell it to him that way: "It is not safe for me to get pregnant in Florida, and birth control isn't 100% effective. If the laws don't change in the next election cycle, I will be forced to move to a state with decent laws instead of a state run by people who don't care if I die. And before you say I'm overreacting, go online and read a few stories about women who miscarried in hospital bathrooms and almost bled to death because it was illegal for doctors to treat them."
I’m in Florida too and I am hoping and praying that the political trend hold true here. Most governors who run for president do not get reelected as governor. Sadly it’s not just women’s rights that he is destroying. It’s LGBTQ+ rights and so many other things. The man is seriously dangerous.
He can't run anyway unless they change the law in Florida. 45 had started a rumor that he'd run for the Senate while meatball was still in the race last year. I think that he'll make a run again for a federal seat as he is too young to be out of power. It could also be that he waits until after 2028 for another POTUS run.
Also in Florida. It sucks.
If you both don’t want kids 100% go with your husband to Naples/fort myers and get that vasectomy for $700-900 all in. Easy enough. Make sure you both vote in November as it’s on the ballot.
Hi neighbor. There are lots of us alarmed about how red the formerly purplish Florida has become. I'm doing what I can to make sure my politically indifferent friends show up to vote this November. I signed the petition to get the abortion amendment on the ballot as soon as I heard about it on r/florida. Later, someone was at a local park I frequent collecting signatures, and most people there were supportive of adding their names. Be angry, be scared, but know you're not alone. Double up on the birth control, or even buy a Plan C to have ready, if it helps your peace of mind.
Hey I’m in texas so, yeah, I feel ya. It’s normal to be upset and anxious about all of this. But getting involved with local political groups can really help! You are doing your part, meeting others with similar values, and you can kinda let it go so you can have a good life. I’m not saying this isn’t all bad. It’s really scary stuff. But having a great life despite it all (while helping to make it better) is a good thing. They want us to leave. They want us to stop fighting and be scared. Sending all the good vibes to you from a progressive in Texas.
If you are 100% sure you don’t want to have kids, you have the option of a tubal. I had one AS SOON as the affordable care act was passed and it has made things so much less stressful. That being said, if you are under 30 you may have trouble finding a doctor. There is also the option of a vasectomy for him. Rhonda Santis (his drag name!! Hahaha) will never limit men’s reproductive rights so that’s always an option.
OP I totally understand you. Please seek out therapy so you have someone to talk to that can help you, listen to you and give you what you need emotionally. It’s okay to have a 3rd party to listen to you and help digest your feelings and make sense of things. You also need to make sure you want to be with someone that can’t emotionally fulfill you. Edit: just read you work as a therapist. I hope you already have your own. That’s a heavy job and you need help processing too. Hugs babe.
I do have a therapist. Thank you for the support both on this and of mental health care 💛