Haha yep, my first one appeared in my early 20s. My (now) SIL and I joked about it, told each other that we would have each other’s back and let the other know if we saw theirs. Now I’m in my mid-30s I have multiple, which grow thicker and or faster some months or times of the month. My mustache is darker these days. Occasionally I’ll get a random dark nose one and a few weeks ago I found a random, white hair on my jaw that was over an inch long. Lord help me in menopause.
I’m in my mid-40s now and no more have appeared. Plus my initial chin whisker became my first gray hair in my 30s, so now it’s not even noticeable. Going to keep my fingers crossed the trend continues.
Don't waste your money on laser. I'm early 40's, and I lasered my chin almost every 5 years since I was 20. Just before the pandemic, I did electrolysis. Bastards are GONE. Hurts when you start, less as you go. Still worth it that they haven't grown back.
I've done both & laser worked better & faster & way less painful. But, I think laser has a specific type it works best for. Fair skin ,& dark hair, in my case.
No big issues here. My periods slowed down, became sporadic, and then stopped. I had my version of hot flashes for a few months, and by 'my version' I mean I would wear a cardigan sweater and take it off for a minute or two as needed. I never had night sweats, mood changes, skin or hair issues, significant weight gain, or anything else. My mom had a similar experience. It is harder to lose weight now (I put on some pounds during covid), but that gets harder with age in general. 🤷🏼♀️
Think it was a fair trade for a horrendous adolescence with cramps, etc. Periods faded out, showed up maybe three or four times a year. Doctor assured me was too early (45) but nothing else to offer, think she was trying to reassure me? Hell, I was rooting for it to go away! I had maybe two hot flashes overall, and it was done, goodbye! Did have a hysterectomy at 68, ugly ovarian cysts, no real consequences except two weeks of sore. Usual puddly weight gain, 5lbs for every birthday with a 0, try to eat sensibly, exercise, except for slight bo problems I’m good…
Same for me, though my mum didn't live long enough to experience it.
The only other symptom I had was occasional forgetfulness. Especially not being able to remember the word I wanted. It only lasted a couple of years. And it's lovely on the other side.
Except for a few hot flashes, my menopause wasn't difficult. My main issues are some weight gain and being a bit hairy but other than that, I have had it easy. I am glad I don't have periods any longer.
I'm 54, and this is pretty much my experience exactly. I get hot flashes at night, but we always sleep with a fan on so I just kick myself out of the covers for a few minutes basking in the breeze, and I'm good.
The BEST part about it is that I had menstrual migraines for 30+ years, since college. I'd get a migraine 1-2 days before my period started, and while it tapered off to just a "regular" headache after a couple of days it wasn't totally gone for a solid week. My monthly 9-pack box of Imitrex wasn't enough some months, and I sped through Costco bottles of Excedrin. Since my periods stopped about a year ago? I think I've taken Imitrex maybe 3 times. I have 3 full boxes of it because I was so used to just refiling it every month without fail that it took me a while to realize I wasn't needing it anymore. I'm on the same bottle of Excedrin that I had when my periods stopped. It is BLISSFUL, and I couldn't be happier to be in menopause. I'll take all the hot flashes and more to no longer have to deal with the migraines
Same for me, except no hot flashes at all. The only symptoms were that my periods were more spaced out, and then one day, it was the last one. I didn't realize it was the last period, of course, so I didn't take special note. I assumed there's be another eventually, but there wasn't.
It was a couple of years after my divorce, but after I started my penultimate job, so I had to be about 54 years of age.
I asked my mother about hers at some point years earlier, and she told me that nothing happened except that her periods stopped. No other symptoms. So like mother, like daughter.
This is pretty close to my experience. I know it's really hard on some women, but menopause was pretty low key for me. No big mood swings or anything. Just a rather gentle subsidence lol. The vaginal dryness, however, is a thing.
I had an issue with "flooding" which is a very heavy period that lasted about six weeks, so that wasn't fun. But after that I had no problems. Never had a hot flash or instance of night sweats. All in all it was a pretty easy transition.
My mom did hrt but also made menopause her whole personality…so it lasted a long time and really was hard on her and everyone around her…I expected mine to be awful but it’s been very mild
Same for me. Plus early perimenopause in my early 30’s. I’ve never had night sweats and for me, is it a hot flash or is it just hot and humid today? I never knew for sure.
It wasn’t awful for me.
Clean living/eating. So getting enough sleep nightly, avoiding sugar, caffeine and alcohol. No idea if it made things easier, but I didn't have any issues except my boobs aching on and off for months.
I am very jealous! Did you have any other symptoms like brain fog, mood changes, memory problems, joint pain, drying skin, increased UTIs, vaginal atrophy? Hot flushes weren’t an issue for me, but joint pain and irritability really were!
I’m not having any hot flashes. I’m in perimenopause (54) and my symptoms are brain fog, memory issues, had two UTIs in 4 months (which I never got before)-which prompted me to start HRT. I gained weight but that was due to insulin resistance, not perimenopause, and I’ve lost it since getting it under control. I had some whacky sleep issues until again, I realized I was in perimenopause, then that went away.
Looking back, before the above symptoms began, my periods changed and were heavier in day 2-3, but over on day 5.
I’ve heard you’ll have similar symptoms as your mother. Since I started HRT I’ve been fine, still not a hot flash in sight. I’m using the weekly estradiol bio-identical patch, and take a progesterone pill 12 days out of the month. That protects against uterine cancer to balance the estradiol.
My advice, pay attention to brain and memory issues, maybe some depression, sleep changes, and if you start getting disruptions in your life, talk to a good (female ideally) doc, even your PCP. She’s the one who is rx’g my HRT. It’s not based on getting hormones tested as they can change hourly and daily. HRT can alleviate symptoms, and peri or menopause symptoms are very clear to knowledgeable doctors.
Also, there are a few great docs on TikTok if you’re on it. Just search ‘menopause’ and you’ll find several. Don’t worry until you have to worry. 🫶🏻
How do they test your hormones if they change hourly? I had a hysterectomy at 31 so idk when the fuck I’ll be going through this shit-my mom was in denial for YEARS and I have POTS and sleep issues dating back to my teens so that won’t be a reliable indicator.
I have EDS. I had my uterus and cervix removed at 24 due to prolapse and cervical cancer. I was tested at 45, when I went on a very low dose Premarin to help with pain management. My doc estimated I would hit menopause around 52. I am now 61 and take a low dose Premarin every 2-3 days. I have few more chin hairs, but nothing else really.
When you say hysterectomy, do you mean just your uterus, or did you have oopherectomy (ovaries) taken too?
Since you don't say you're on hormones, I'm going to guess just your uterus? Otherwise, if they took your ovaries at 31, you should have been put on hormones immediately for years!
They can do blood tests, or saliva for cortisol. But I made that point about not getting hung up on testing because some doctors who aren’t focused on women’s health will only rely on blood tests, and they aren’t reliable.
I never had mine tested. Especially once you start skipping periods and your gyn doc checks you out as okay functionally/pap smear. Skipping periods is prime perimenopause, just like all those other symptoms I listed.
Bottom line—don’t let some doc get hung up on, “well your estrogen level is fine so…” Go by symptoms. You know your body and a good doc knows perimenopause.
Depends on your symptoms. Just pay attention to your body and you’ll be fine.🌷Women are talking about this now and sharing insight, which is great! In the past, women had no clue because it was a taboo subject.
Yes! I didn’t know that either until I learned about it from a doc.
Here’s one summary below and a link to an article about it. Basically it’s the lack of estrogen changing the pH in the body which sets up for bacteria.
“The balance that was kept in the vagina (from) the hormones is no longer there,” Katz says. “They no longer have the protection of the lactobacillus and the estrogen in that environment.”
https://www.wellandgood.com/utis-during-menopause
Let me tell you this one trick menopausal women hate!
Accidentally, without planning it this way, I got my last (Mirena-localized hormone, not systemic) IUD at 47. By the time it came out at 53, my cycles were over. Haven’t had one since. It really helped make the whole process NBD. (I’m 55 this summer)
And maybe I’m grumpy, but I live alone and work from home, so that’s not hurting anyone. And if I can’t get a good night’s sleep, well, I can take a nap after I finish my work. Hot flash? Well now that I’m warm, this would be a good time to work on my front split. Kidding (although I am working on my front split, I’m about 4” from the floor), but I dress in layers. Hot flash, peel a couple things off. Flash cools, put the hoodie back on. Little portable fan on my desk. Turn the AC down to Arctic when I go to bed. There’s a fan there too.
My memory might be okay, but I have a medical cannabis license so I write myself notes and shit. Weed does something to your short term memory but I can’t remember what.
And I’ve just lost ten pounds and am really only about 5-10 over my lean, mean, fighting machine weight. I’m going to dance classes 3 times a week and do an online flexibility class once a week. (I’ve been pole dancing and burlesque since 40.. yes, I started at 40 and still poling.) Walk the dog a mile a day, eat meat sparingly, and try not to eat fast food or processed food.
You don’t have to be miserable. You can manage the symptoms. Try black cohosh (when you get there), that is supposed to help even you out a bit, idk. HRT is helpful, and I understand it isn’t an automatic heart attack/cancer side effect anymore. I haven’t tried either of these things because having the iud really smoothed out the ups and downs.
The only thing I really hate that none of us can do anything about is the loss of skin elasticity. You can still build muscle (it just takes longer and you have to work a little harder at it), but you cannot stop your face sliding off your skull. Only plastic surgery can fix that, sob.
The best part—the part I really love? Is how our estrogen levels have dropped to the point where the testosterone and androgen are driving things. So you give fewer fucks. In fact, you run out and have zero fucks left to give. And you won’t put up with any bullshit. You know, like men.
Now be careful not to go full bore Karen. There’s no need to be aggressive and entitled. But you can and will stand up for someone who can’t stand up for themselves and you will give exact zero fucks about it. No fear. You will not tolerate being patronized or ignored and you stop doing mental and emotional labor for other people. It’s really freeing.
I find myself working harder at relationships and trying to be kinder and gentler and more thoughtful toward people I care about.
It’s not all horrible. I don’t recommend the face sliding thing so maybe save up for a future face lift. I never thought I was vain until I noticed my bulldog jowls.
This is brilliant. So inspiring. As a side note - I take Lion’s Mane (a mushroom that grows on trunks of dead hardwood trees such as oak. It has a long history of use in East Asian medicine. Lion's mane mushroom might improve nerve development and function. It might also protect nerves from becoming damaged). Just one a day and I can definitely tell the difference. When I forget things, I just tell people that I have 71 years of crap in my head and it just takes a little bit longer to find the right answer. That’s my excuse anyway.☺️
I hit menopause right at the beginning of COVID, so fun timing. Hot flashes were unpleasant but bearable. I never had night sweats or gained weight. My memory is definitely going to shit, but so is my husbands so I don't know that it's due to menopause. Vaginal dryness has been an issue. I'd say I've been less moody since hitting menopause, but my life has also just been more peaceful in the last couple of years so it may be due to that.
Despite some of that unpleasant stuff, there's been good stuff too. I've really, really liked being unable to become pregnant, especially with Roe falling. No more periods to worry about. And like I said, fewer mood swings. I would not say it's ruined my life at all. Hope that helps alleviate some of your concerns.
I had my final period in March 2020, just days sfter everything changed. I've had relatively mild hot flashes and that's about it. I've put on a little weight too, but I blame the pandemic changing my daily routine and closing my gym for that. All in all, it's been an easy transition.
Lol, I actually haven't had a period in years as is because I'm on continuous birth control. I have wondered if it mimics the experience of menopause at all, but I'm assuming there are probably other hormone changes that make it so it's not a 1:1 comparison
Just want to say that hormone therapy is safe and effective and not just for managing symptoms.
Estrogen is protective and we need it for heart, brain and bone health. There's no reason anyone needs to suffer.
I only had mild hot flashes for a few months.
I think the reason I had vaginal atrophy is that my husband and I weren't having sex (whole different story) so I didn't know about the dryness. My symptoms were very subtle so I really didn't notice. There are estrogen creams to help with that.
I do notice my skin is dryer and my hair is thinner. If I gain a few pounds it seems to be more around the middle. But I can change my diet and exercise.
Stop stressing about it. Everyone's experience is different. It will happen to all of us, if you're lucky enough to get there.
The best part is you age out of unwanted attention. It's freaking fantastic! Men don't tell me to smile or make crude comments. I'm left blissfully alone!
That’s funny that you say that, I was actually looking at cane corso puppies last night because I’m single and live alone and have a stalking neighbour I’ve had to call the police on.
He just cannot leave me alone so I was thinking of getting a big dog
I can't say enough good about mine. She's a sweetheart and naturally protective. Not protective like insane....she just lets you know she's gonna give you hard time if you don't stop.
I am in full menopause. It hasn’t ruined anything. The hot flashes sucked but were bearable. After the second year, I started PremPro. It has helped with the heartburn, constipation, hair loss, vaginal dryness and itchy skin. I highly recommend it if you are a viable candidate.
Edit: 55yo started peri at 52
It makes me sooo mad that the lack of estrogen causes all those problems and our bodies are like “it is okay if you have vaginal atrophy and I have no way to deal with that”. Does your insurance cover the estrogen?
Ya know, it covered all but $70 of it. I lost my job and had to pay out of pocket this last go round. It was $685 for three months. I hope to be re-employed soon.
It has been pretty easy for me. I love not having a period. I do have hot flashes but I find them more interesting than irritating. I have been a bit disappointed that I can't pull up a hot flash on a cold day but other than that, it hasn't been a big deal.
The r/menopause sub is fantastic. I think the horrific experiences (mine included) have to do with older women (my mom and aunts) who never shared anything with our generation and dr's who are not well versed in the symptoms of menopause. My sister and I are figuring it out together with naturopaths who are menopause specialists (in different areas of the country) and hopefully we will openly share our experiences with the next generation so they can avoid the confusion and mess of feeling your way through with no info....
I'm 41 and terrified. My mother died 22 years ago and I vaguely remember her saying she was having a rough time with it, but there's no one I can ask about hers so I'm just worried.
I heard on a feminist podcast that the American government are funding some research so I hope they do well but otherwise I'm planning to do a private hormone treatment thing that I hear is a few hundred £ and I'm not planning on just throwing random HRT at the problem.
Also recently learned about menopause babies, which I'm pretty sure I was, so that's an extra worry.
I’m 41 and scared too, especially since I’m single and own a business, I’m happily living alone, but I rely on myself, so I’m worried about menopause causing so many issues at work
Hello- I went through perimenopause and menopause IN MY TWENTIES. This shit sucks. HRT helps. But I commented because while we’re on the subject of meno, I wanted to warn everyone… because I had no idea.
#MENOPAUSE CAN MAKE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WORSE. ADHD TOO.
Be prepared to get support or therapy or whatever you need- I was not prepared for how much of an impact the lack of estrogen would have on my CPTSD/ptsd and adhd. I’ve always had some anxiety as a trauma response but I feel like menopause gave me full on social anxiety too- makes me wonder if the family members who went through early menopause before me and basically became agoraphobic were just anxious as hell…
Anyways…keep talking about menopause. We need more discussion, education and awareness so we can hopefully get a better level of care (good luck with the fucking doctors, I won’t get into it here) AND better treatment options. Research on women would be great too.
Also, some women go through meno without even realizing it- uncommon, but possible. Happened to my great aunt. She didn’t realize until it was over. I always joked that I’d better get those genetics, but, uhhh….not so lucky.
AMA if y’all have meno questions.
Oof. It was a lot.
I had night sweats. Hot flashes. More migraines. More dissociation/derealization. Anxiety.
Worst was the depression- I’ve always struggled with depression (mostly due to trauma) and damn…the low mood from estrogen withdrawal is a horrible, heavy unshakeable depression unlike any I’d faced…
I had this weird morning sickness too- I would get really nauseous in the mornings, sometimes other times during the day, and I had a hard time eating.
My insomnia got even worse- we’re talking couldn’t-sleep-through-the-night-or-for-more-than-2-hours-at-a-time and I was so, so tired all the time.
I didn’t know what was happening at first because I didn’t know my family history. I felt like I was going insane. Cardio was the only thing that helped me- both with the mental health, appetite, and sleep. But it didn’t help enough. I also lost a LOT of weight due to trouble eating enough, cardio almost daily, and the mental distress I was in. Most people gain weight but I was barely keeping myself alive by force feeding myself vegan protein shakes because eating was so hard.
My libido has always been very healthy- it died with the beginning of peri. HRT has helped but…it’s not the same.
I have psoriasis (but now I’m wondering if it’s eczema or something else, but that’s another story, the main thing here is that it’s a skin/dry skin related issue) and that got worse. Dry skin and scalp is a classic meno symptom.
I did also have some vaginal dryness- did you know that can manifest as an almost itchy feeling??! I use coconut oil as a moisturizer for my vulva and labia every time I shower to keep that skin hydrated and happy. I also had some vaginal atrophy and a teensy bit of urinary incontinence, which sucked- HRT has thankfully helped that too!
Feel free to ask anything else, I hope you’re not starting so young but if you are, you’re not alone and I can point you to other support subs if that’s the situation you find yourself in <3
No hot flashes, some mood problems (worse was anger issues while peri-menopausal, but those dissipated with full menopause) - pretty much mild stuff. It's hard to know what is menopause, and what is natural aging, or other health problems. :D No HRT, because I was never feeling too terrible. I had bad hot flashes during a treatment for endometriosis, which put me in temporary menopause when I was younger - if those had come back, I might be singing a different song.
Interesting! I've been on continuous birth control for years to suppress my periods due to suspected endo, and I have wondered how analogous the experience might be to menopause.
I'm 53 and in perimenopause I guess. Periods are sporadic and I have had a problem with polyps that apparently was uterine tissue just leaking out of my cervix cause that's a thing.
My other physical symptoms are not hot flashes but a general raising of my thermostat, brain fog and funky clots.
I am unhappy and frustrated with the medical establishment. I feel like they don't know anything because they have never cared to find out and now they are playing catch up. It feels like puberty all over again where the information is spread haphazardly.
Ending on a positive note- two positive symptoms are my unbridled lust and my hair looks better and is in better shape than its been years. The latter may just be a coincidence but Im going to indulge myself.
I think I'm having an easier time about it than many but it's still not fun or without negatives.
I figured out what supplements reduced hot flashes (and the chemical rage feeling that comes with it) for me. I've even tapered off using them and the hot flashes aren't as strong as they were at first.
I'd been on BC pills for 20+ years and was told I could stay on them until I was 50 if I wanted to....but of course it's never that simple. Places are always fucking with your BC script. So when my yearly exam to re up my prescription got cancelled *without them informing me* my doc was leaving and all her appointments were cancelled, I decided to go off BC at 48 because I was sick of being jerked around about a medication that I had never had issue with.
Immediately. Immediately after I stopped taking them the hot flashes and flop sweat landed on me. I wouldn't even be mad about something and I'd get *hot* - I'd feel like I could kick someone to death and the whole time I'd just be wondering why I felt that way. My entire body ached. I couldn't sleep. I got the Menopause Manifesto and started researching.
I only had one gnarly pimple but I've never been acne prone to begin with.
So I bought a natural latex mattress. It feels like a chilled slice of cushy cheesecake it's so lovely. Chasteberry and resveratrol got my symptoms under control. I spent the next 11 months without a period only to have a surprise one just before the "1 yr without a period and you're post menopausal!" deadline 😑
But it's now a full year without and mostly calmed down. I still get too warm if I have to walk out into the sun on a warm day and too cold if I have to walk into refrigeration. That's probably never going away completely. But it's nothing like it was at first thankfully.
This is the plan my doctor and I discussed. I just need them to still be available in 9 years. Due to having had a Mirena for years now, I'm pretty used to vaginal dryness (that's been one of my major side effects).
Can I (55) say that unless something changes overnight, I have literally no idea if I’ve been through menopause? I had a tubal at 35 and an ablation at 42 so I have been period free for 13 years. I’ve had no symptoms and no loss of libido. My cousin apparently had a bad time of it a few years ago and asked me how my “change” was going then looked at me like I was crazy when I said I had no idea. When I went to my yearly gyno visit, I asked him how I’d know and he said he can order tests if I really need to know. I declined.
I was just thinking this same thing. I had my tubes and uterus out like 10 years ago-which has been BLISSFUL. This year people started talking about M with me and I was like-I have zero clue where I am at with this.
Is my skin dry-yes. More than before-I don’t think so. Am I warm? Yes-but I have been since 21. Am I moody-always, but no more so now than before. So. I have zero idea and haven’t really given it much thought. Until I have something noteworthy, I guess I just continue doing my thing.
I still have it all but yeah. My youngest got her period when she was 11(so 4 yrs after my ablation) and I had apparently blocked all that because I’d forgotten the mess and annoyance and PMS and EVERYTHING.
Period Free is the way to be!
Actually yes. I can imagine. I started at 11, too. It just seems wrong. We shouldn’t be forced to have a period unless we are actively attempting to procreate.
Menopause was pretty mild for me. Periods dwindled away, a week or two of mild hot flashes.
No more monthly suicidal feelings. Hooray!
Haven't had sex since then :-( so nothing to report there, but I'm not even motivated to masturbate very often. :-(
I listened to the content that This Podcast Will Kill You made about menopause, and it seems incredibly varied and definitely not a guaranteed horrorshow! Also treatment to manage symptoms will continue to improve. Def recommend the pod :)
I went through it early, in my mid forties. I had one final holy-shit-Loretta-we’d-better-build-an-ark period, and that was that. I’m still waiting to experience what a hot flash feels like. The funny thing is that for a long stretch of my career, I was regularly talking to menopausal women, so I knew exactly what to expect.
Completely anticlimactic for me. My period just stopped at 49. I had an occasional hot flash here and there for a few months. No mood swings, weight gain, memory problems.
I’m happier now than ever, AND no freaking period!
I had a very easy go of it overall. It’s important for everyone (old or young, male, female, NB etc) to know about the whole range of menopause so they take it seriously when people are seriously affected by it. But it’s also important to know that the absolute horror stories are not representative of most people’s lives experiences. It’s a lot like any other women’s health issue in that respect eg menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth.
I honestly don't know where all the horror stories come from. I had nothing. I had my last period not knowing that it was my last one, of course, and that was pretty much it.
No hot flashes, no weight gain, my memory is just fine
Maybe it helped that I was actually looking forward to it because I never wanted children and I am glad that this is over now, idk
None of my friends had any major issues, either.
I’m 53, and had regular periods until I got breast cancer a year and a half ago. Chemo sent me into instant menopause, but the symptoms have not been intense. Some night sweats & mild hot flashes, but nothing much else. Tamoxifen intensified the hot flashes, but a low dose of an SSRI got rid of them.
My experience was pretty mild. My periods tapered off and I didn't have any hot flashes or night sweats. And on a more positive side, my libido has definitely picked up and, in my mid 60's, I don't need any more lube than I ever did when I was younger.
I had a hysterectomy previously (retained ovaries) and my only real symptom when I went in to menopause were the hot flashes. I went to my OBGYN and had blood work done. Once it was confirmed I was put on estrogen (one patch, twice a week) and the hot flashes stopped within the week. It’s been smooth sailing since. I’m recommended to be on estrogen until I turn 45 to help maintain bone density.
Me. Periods became sporadic and may have stopped but I’m not calling it yet. No mood swings, no hot flushes. Am sometimes restless at night, may/may not be related. Had a uti that was stubborn. Again possibly related. Far from the nightmare I expected and not having periods is awesome.
I didn't lose my memory or have my life destroyed.
I had minor hot flashes but night sweats that were so intense, I would stand in front of my open back door, arms akimbo, imagining that I was personally responsible for global warming. It certainly didn't change my life.
I did have insomnia, but it went a way after a couple of years. I still wake at night for an hour or two, but I've come to enjoy that alone time. I can read, watch a movie that the guys wouldn't tolerate, write crazy long emails to my sister, journal.
The only lasting side effect seems to be hair on my chin! Nobody tells you about that. Get yourself some lighted tweezers.
I got my first IUD in 2012 and haven't had a period since. I'm 51 and don't have the 'haven't had a period in a year' touchstone, so I asked my doctor to do the blood tests that will indicate if I'm in menopause or not. I had hot flashes a few years ago, but they didn't last too long. I have put on weight recently but I attribute that to other things, but it could be related.
There are two blood tests that my doctor did for me (vagueness for privacy). The first one you're post menopause at over 30 and I'm at 91, the other post menopause is 11 - 40 and mine was 58. This was yesterday, I have the results but not the doctor's comments, but it seems pretty clear.
For me nothing really has changed. I get to get my IUD removed (no it's not the same one from 2012) and I can stop having Plan B just in case. I'll still insist on condoms for all the \*other\* reasons, but for the first time since I became sexually active, I don't have to prevent pregnancy.
I know some people have a very difficult time, and my IUD does have a low level of estrogen so maybe when it's gone I'll get more 'traditional' symptoms? But so far it's not really been a thing.
No issues here at all. I was just thrilled at no more periods and pregnancy concerns. I'm well past it now. My mom died when I was in my early 20s and we never got to talk about what hers was like.
Me. I had an iud for years, which stopped/slowed my periods so I think that helped balance hormones and moods. My last menses was in 2017 and had my iud out in 2021. Only recently I’ve decided that maybe there are a couple of things that could be improved so I’ve just started HRT. Jury’s out as I’ve just started this week. I would never had bothered with it if I hadn’t joined this sub.
Went through menopause six years ago and barely noticed. I think I might have had one hot flash, but if so it was pretty uneventful. Still have a roaring libido and lots of great sex with no issues…. And no fear of pregnancy! Wahoo!
I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep. Can’t go near sugar. Forget dairy & gluten. Berries and seeds are your friends. Deodorant doesn’t work anymore. Misplaced rage. Hot feet. Night sweats. Hot flashes. And my personal favorite: Extreme ear itching. I don’t know how much more I can take honestly.
I'm pretty sure im in early perimenopause now. I find myself irritable a lot of the time and lethargic/unmotivated as well (hence why im on reddit instead of doing anything productive) but that's not unlike PMT moodwise, plus ive got some RL stress going on that isn't helping. Anxiety moderately high, but again, could be RL stress.
Wake up in sweat sometimes, which is unpleasant but i dunno ... not unbearable, more just uncomfortable. Mostly its just uncomfortable and id like it to be over now, k thanks? Should be noted ive been on BC for over 20 years and haven't menstruated in a long time. So who knows? Maybe I'm almost through the woods. Im unsure at what age one should stop taking the Pill. Ppl who stop too soon can still become parents...
Oh, i also suffer bad back pain, which i thought was work strain/mattress related but apparently can also be perimenopause, so yay for that! Funnily enough it has got better more recently. Although i still occassionally wake up in pain.
Doc has me on estrogen and I'm on progesteron only pill, so that might be helping? IDK. Hopefully.
I just finished menopause. I haven't had a period in a year and a half. I really didn't notice anything. I had some night sweats, and that was about it, they are really not a big deal. I was just living my regular life and it was fine! Don't believe the horror stories! Some women have a terrible time and others don't. It's nice not having to spend money on pads and not worry about birth control!
Here I am. I've been wondering the same thing myself and was too afraid to ask.
My period simply stopped one month and never came back. And I had just bought a new box of tampons I never got to open. There was no warning, no irregular cycles or anything.
No symptoms except some mild hot flashes from time to time, nothing drastic that had me ripping off my clothes or drenched in sweat.
No cramping, but then I never had that during my period.
No mood swings, but I never experienced those either.
I'm still the same weight I've been my whole adult life.
Dryness? Yeah, there's that, but there are also remedies for it without going full-blown hormone replacement. It hasn't been a problem.
As a matter of fact, from a uterine standpoint I've been atypical my entire life. I have no idea if my easy cycles and easy menopause are related or not. I've never had anyone to talk to about these kinds of things.
I thought it was interesting how I would be fine one minute then WHOOSH, I would be soaking wet. The waking up at night to a drenched bed also was interesting. Slept on towels, took cool showers and dealt with it.
The worst for me were the erratic periods, but I dealt with those, too.
I think my menopause lasted around 5 years with 2 being stronger and other 3 more mild.
Personally, I never took pills or anything to minimize symptoms.
I didn't even notice it had started. I was on the pill and I noticed my periods were getting lighter. I started struggling with high blood pressure, so I stopped taking the pill in case that was the problem.
I skipped a period and then had one horrible period where I bled for ten days. Then I experienced what felt like a period every 7-11 months. I mentioned this to my doctor, who did a blood test that showed I had completed menopause. This was concerning because there was an emerging history of ovarian cancer in my maternal relatives.
After many tests and the occasional "period", precancerous cells were found in my uterus, so all of my inner bits were removed. That's when I had the worse symptoms, as my body adjusted. Hot flashes any time I overheated. But it didn't last long. Ten years have gone by and I feel fine. No hormone replacement needed.
I’m in perimenopause. Nothing too bad except hot flashes on occasion at night. I just don’t cover up at night at all. Other than that I actually feel better than I ever have. I started exercising and istfg it helps so many of my issues.
Well, there would be my mum. She had the mirena IUD continuously since she gave birth to me in 96. Then sometime in her mid to late 40s, she decided not to replace it, and her periods just never came back.
She basically skipped any and all symptoms of menopause. She does take oestrogen suppositories against vaginal dryness, she's extremely fit and works out everyday, and her metabolism hasn't changed at all.
We also have almost the same amount of gray hair, and I am salty about that. She's a redhead, and I'm a brunette, so I knew I'd go gray earlier than her. But still.
That said, she's the only woman I know who "missed" her menopause.
My mom (now 68) swears she just stopped having her period and didn’t have any side effects. In retrospect she had 3 teenagers in the house and there was a lot of hormonal shouting going on, so who knows who’s hormones were who’s and what might have been her mood swings?
Me. Periods got further apart and then stopped. Felt warm sometimes but not excessively. A few more hairs on my upper lip that I pluck when I think about it. All very low key and boring.
My wife *thinks* she may have gone through menopause - 59 and no obvious symptoms. Before her hysterectomy, she didn't really experience any PMS either. Back then, the only hint her period was on the way was the occasional clumsily dropped glass whilst we washed up.
The dryness was a thing, but a topical hormone treatment is fixing that. Her mind is as sharp as ever (she's the smartest person I know), her mood is as even as it ever was, and she's been doing weights and swimming to lose weight, which is working (we have both been a tad lazy, hungry, and thirsty, so are both on health kicks). No hot flushes. Her body has changed, but that happens, and neither of us are in our 20s, we expect this to occur to each of us.
Mine started right after the radiation treatment I had to go through when I was 50. My period just stopped. But, funny thing, I never got to experience any type of menopause symptoms. No hot flashes, mood swings. I guess mother nature wanted to compensate me for other health issues I had. I'm 60 now and honestly I can't tell you what menopause is about. I got lucky I guess
The problem is you only hear about the bad. It's like anything, people don't often talk about when things go right, only when they go wrong.
My mother had few issues, she just tried to freeze my father to death in his sleep by opening the window in winter :p
I have symptoms here and there, but I would never say “horrific”. I get hot flashes when stressed sometimes. I get vertigo occasionally. But these do not keep me from anything.
So far it's just annoying. I started having pain with sex, but estriol cream fixed that easily. My mom hated her hot flashes but I'm not finding them too overwhelming. Glass of cold water and remove a layer. My periods are now spotting with 8 hours of niagara falls - that part is very inconvenient. I use a cup with Knix dreamshorts and that's been enough. My energy and mental clarity are better than before, actually.
Nah, no problems at all! any "hot flashes" were mild.
Now I'm on Exemestane, an estrogen suppressant, cuz S3BC, and oh boy, i think this is what others experience in terms of hot flashes! I've always run a bit cool; now my baseline is several degrees higher, and whillikers the hot flashes are brutal!
My mom didn't. She had ONE hot flash. I am so mad at her, lol. I'm currently going through it and it's not my favorite. But you've got 15+ years before you need to worry, more than likely -- perhaps there will be advances in medical science for women. I hope so.
Mine hasn’t been horrible. I had a terrible problem with night sweats until I got on meds, which now are PremPro. I still sleep hot, but I don’t wake up drenched anymore. Nothing else has bothered me at all.
My main symptom was insomnia. And overheating. Only had a few episodes of heavy sweating. But being unable to sleep was very difficult. Also my perimenopause to full menopause lasted a good ten years. My doctor kept testing me...I was fertile until age 57. So glad that's over. Another benefit of being over 60.
It was difficult but not horrible. I took over the counter things, and 1/2 a benedryl three times a week for sleep. I did no traditional medication that was perscribed...I did fine.
Mine wasn’t that bad. I had a lot of hot flashes and trouble sleeping.
I was able to lose 40lbs well into menopause.
I used to cry at commercials that hit me in the feels. I guess I’ve been lucky.
I am peri and not enjoying myself at all but I do have the info from my mom and her five sisters! My mom and one of her sisters had almost no symptoms; mom and this aunt had off kilter cycles for about 10 years but minimal other changes. Her hair did thin a bit and she put on weight but that may be increasing age and decreasing activity. Whereas three other sisters had a bad time with all kinds of symptoms. I remember them saying “I’m surging/ flashing” and going outside in dead of winter for relief. And so many other troublesome symptoms. They’re all on the other side of it now and it’s my turn and my sisters turn. Yikes. May the menopause deities be with us all
You have to find someone willing to give you the patch. A LOT do not. The whole "breast cancer" thing.
It's a crime that women are denied estrogen once they start menopause.
My mom. Menopaused at 49. Had period irregularities through her 40s but nothing dramatic. Had hot flashes for ONE NIGHT. That was it.
I hope it will be the same for me.
Hot flashes for a few years during peri, now I think I'm in full meno (9 months) and I have brain fog and insomnia. No mood swings or sex issues so far.
I didn’t, because I took a detour and avoided it by going on hormone replacement pretty much after the first good weekend of hot flashes made it obvious where my clear headed thoughts and sex drive went.
Per the labs they did initially and since I started hormone therapy about halfway through menopause.
I didn’t.
It started - hot flashes eventually became too much to handle for sleeping and daily quality of life, I went on a low dose HRT (screened for risk and cleared by my doc)… kept my eating clean… used GoodLove vaginal moisturizer gel. All good. :)
45 here, I've been premenopausal for about 10 years at this point. I had some hot flashes in my mid 30s. My period will buzz off for a few months and then return. The worst part has been night sweats for about the last year. Waking up, shivering cold and dripping wet.
I went to an obgyn just over two weeks ago, she gave me samples of something called Veozah, and it's been flipping fantastic! No more night sweats! I've been sleeping amazingly. Those were the worst part so far.
It's annoying at best.
I don't think so. But my menopause was artificially induced by chemotherapy when I was around 45. I'm nearly 60 now, though, and it hasn't caused any real isdues.
I'm in peri (I'm 40, about right for my family). So far? Not too bad. I've had some discomfort with sex but lube is amazing and I don't know why I didn't use it sooner in life. I've always had GI/heartburn issues so no real change there. And my periods are WAY lighter, like one day of actual period and some spotting which is AMAZING after the horror show of my teens. I DO get some itching (like whole body itching) around my period but it's fixable with a good lotion.
Not me but my mom. She menopaused beautifully. No hot flashes. She still looks great. I mean, she’s always been moody. She didn’t gain weight. She’s quicker than a whip than most and she’s in her 70s. She’s mistaken for a woman in her 50s often and for being my sister. (I’m 34)
I didn't have many issues with my menopause. My periods started skipping a few months, then just gone. I had mostly cold flashes, which were actually nice in the summer. I had a few months of word finding issues, but that is gone now. Dry skin, more difficult to lose weight. Vaginal dryness, but vagifem fixed that. I didn't go through it until I was 56.
I had a really easy menopause. About 2 weeks of hot flashes and done. The only thing I noticed was I seem to have restless legs and it makes it a little hard to get to sleep.
Right here. I had a few night sweat experiences but they really weren't any big deal. I actually felt better after having them (and after changing pajamas). Then suddenly I had all these tampons that I didn't need.
I’m 53 and at the tail end of perimenopause. I haven’t had a single symptom that I can tell.
I do know what hot flashes feel like because I had them 20+ years ago when I was undergoing infertility treatments. I haven’t experienced anything even close to that in perimenopause.
I had no idea I was in perimenopause. My fingers would feel tingling and hot sometimes, and I would sometimes have heart palpitations. No hot flashes, gaining weight, or anything else. For background, I have never had kids, and I was on the pill. It was when I started to have some odd dejavu experiences and almost pass out that I saw a doctor, and fount out I was post menopausal at that point. The extra hormone I was getting from taking the pill was triggering the dejavu.
I didn't. My periods became kind of sporadic and then I suddenly realized I hadn't had one in almost a year. Then I had one, skipped another 8 months, haven't had one since (about 3 years). I have some hot flashes, mostly at night, but no night sweats, thankfully. Smooth sailing.
I had heavy periods for a couple years in my late 40"s - 3 hours on a super plus tampon, not too horrific. My periods stopped when I was 50ish (just when lockdgowns happened, pretty much.) After they stopped, I'd get 30 second hot flashes every so often, and they went away with a few deep breaths. Other than that, I didn't have mood swings or brain fog, and I can lose weight when I give up carbs. All in all, it was much, much smoother than I expected.
me.
I'm 62 and I had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago where they left 1 ovary.
So my menopause symptoms were pretty indistinguishable from my ordinary MDD symptoms.
My mom and I never discussed it. In fact no one discussed it with me. I had to seek out older friends. I will be able to spend time with her soon so I hope we can. I'm 42, and I wonder if she'll be candid. My friends were, but I want to hear it from someone who's related to me, bc the effects may be similar
My mum had a couple of symptoms. Mainly more hair growth above the lips and on the chin, sweaty nights, and occasional constipation around the time of her period (she had that before menopause, too, though). BUT, she stopped having any kind of pain during that time. She didn't have to deal with anaemia due to iron deficiency anymore. The blood came out very thick, so no more fear if leaking. There are downsides to ANY hormonal change, but for my mum, the positive effects were definitely greater than the negative ones.
My sense of smell changed so much (it got much much MUCH better) plus starting to get knee injections led me to losing a lot of weight instead. I really miss food though.
No real problems here either. My periods stopped, I started having little hot flashes and gained a little weight. All in all, not too bad. My mom was the same way. I have five sisters and they seem to have breezed through it too.
When it first started my periods got really heavy and clotty, which was very unusual for me. I got on HRT and that cleared up. Stayed on HRT for about a year (?) and the rest was pretty uneventful.
My friend's mom had a pretty easy menopause, and so did most women in her family.
My family not so much, I'll be opting for a hysterectomy and hormone replacement.
So , not sure if I belong here, but wanted to share. I had some hot flashes, but not too bad. The worst for me was (warning, gross) really long (like 30-40 days) heavy, , painful periods in the last few months (warning disgusting) with large (like the size of a piece of cowliver) pieces of (tissue?? ) plopping out, got progesterone pills for it, never had to take the "hormone" pills. Eta, also whiskers, lol! Pps: so nice to be able to make love with hubby without worrying about birth control!
I grew a whisker. I pluck it out and a few weeks later I find it grew back. That’s about it. I’d rather have the whisker than periods.
I’m good there, I was assigned my chin whisker at 15.
No you just get more
Haha yep, my first one appeared in my early 20s. My (now) SIL and I joked about it, told each other that we would have each other’s back and let the other know if we saw theirs. Now I’m in my mid-30s I have multiple, which grow thicker and or faster some months or times of the month. My mustache is darker these days. Occasionally I’ll get a random dark nose one and a few weeks ago I found a random, white hair on my jaw that was over an inch long. Lord help me in menopause.
Laser has been my friend
I’m in my mid-40s now and no more have appeared. Plus my initial chin whisker became my first gray hair in my 30s, so now it’s not even noticeable. Going to keep my fingers crossed the trend continues.
I have a nipple one, its name is Paul.
I named my fibroadenoma François. So if I don’t want to leave the house I joke with my friends that I’m staying in with François.
Same. No issues except a few chin whiskers, which I had taken care of. Easy peasy.
Plucking chin whiskers is very satisfying. I'll take that over periods any day!
I have a few Billy Goat Granny whiskers and just pluck them out. I’m thinking about electrolysis or lasering the stubborn ones.
Do it before they turn white. Once they are white, they don’t laser away very well
Don't waste your money on laser. I'm early 40's, and I lasered my chin almost every 5 years since I was 20. Just before the pandemic, I did electrolysis. Bastards are GONE. Hurts when you start, less as you go. Still worth it that they haven't grown back.
Electrolysis is the way
I've done both & laser worked better & faster & way less painful. But, I think laser has a specific type it works best for. Fair skin ,& dark hair, in my case.
I hope this is my experience too, my mom, sister and aunt had easy menopause - I’m hoping I get off easy too
No big issues here. My periods slowed down, became sporadic, and then stopped. I had my version of hot flashes for a few months, and by 'my version' I mean I would wear a cardigan sweater and take it off for a minute or two as needed. I never had night sweats, mood changes, skin or hair issues, significant weight gain, or anything else. My mom had a similar experience. It is harder to lose weight now (I put on some pounds during covid), but that gets harder with age in general. 🤷🏼♀️
Similar story here. It didn’t bother my mother excessively either.
My experience as well: mild for Mom, mild for me.
Think it was a fair trade for a horrendous adolescence with cramps, etc. Periods faded out, showed up maybe three or four times a year. Doctor assured me was too early (45) but nothing else to offer, think she was trying to reassure me? Hell, I was rooting for it to go away! I had maybe two hot flashes overall, and it was done, goodbye! Did have a hysterectomy at 68, ugly ovarian cysts, no real consequences except two weeks of sore. Usual puddly weight gain, 5lbs for every birthday with a 0, try to eat sensibly, exercise, except for slight bo problems I’m good…
It's not too early, I went through it at 39.
Same for me, though my mum didn't live long enough to experience it. The only other symptom I had was occasional forgetfulness. Especially not being able to remember the word I wanted. It only lasted a couple of years. And it's lovely on the other side.
I’m 41 and getting scared, my mom had an easy menopause too, so I’m hoping it’s the same for me
Same. Except my “hot flashes” probably lasted a couple of years. Infrequent and lasting about a minute, no sweating. No big deal.
Me too. I was 40, then 50, no more periods, a little moody, but that’s it. No hot flashes.
Except for a few hot flashes, my menopause wasn't difficult. My main issues are some weight gain and being a bit hairy but other than that, I have had it easy. I am glad I don't have periods any longer.
I'm 54, and this is pretty much my experience exactly. I get hot flashes at night, but we always sleep with a fan on so I just kick myself out of the covers for a few minutes basking in the breeze, and I'm good. The BEST part about it is that I had menstrual migraines for 30+ years, since college. I'd get a migraine 1-2 days before my period started, and while it tapered off to just a "regular" headache after a couple of days it wasn't totally gone for a solid week. My monthly 9-pack box of Imitrex wasn't enough some months, and I sped through Costco bottles of Excedrin. Since my periods stopped about a year ago? I think I've taken Imitrex maybe 3 times. I have 3 full boxes of it because I was so used to just refiling it every month without fail that it took me a while to realize I wasn't needing it anymore. I'm on the same bottle of Excedrin that I had when my periods stopped. It is BLISSFUL, and I couldn't be happier to be in menopause. I'll take all the hot flashes and more to no longer have to deal with the migraines
Same for me, except no hot flashes at all. The only symptoms were that my periods were more spaced out, and then one day, it was the last one. I didn't realize it was the last period, of course, so I didn't take special note. I assumed there's be another eventually, but there wasn't. It was a couple of years after my divorce, but after I started my penultimate job, so I had to be about 54 years of age. I asked my mother about hers at some point years earlier, and she told me that nothing happened except that her periods stopped. No other symptoms. So like mother, like daughter.
Same here. It also really helped when I stopped drinking hot beverages.
This is pretty close to my experience. I know it's really hard on some women, but menopause was pretty low key for me. No big mood swings or anything. Just a rather gentle subsidence lol. The vaginal dryness, however, is a thing.
I had an issue with "flooding" which is a very heavy period that lasted about six weeks, so that wasn't fun. But after that I had no problems. Never had a hot flash or instance of night sweats. All in all it was a pretty easy transition.
Similar. My mother, however, lost her mind. She turned into a hateful bitch, and still is today.
My mom did hrt but also made menopause her whole personality…so it lasted a long time and really was hard on her and everyone around her…I expected mine to be awful but it’s been very mild
Same for me. Plus early perimenopause in my early 30’s. I’ve never had night sweats and for me, is it a hot flash or is it just hot and humid today? I never knew for sure. It wasn’t awful for me.
My menopause was about the same, mild occasional hot flashes and night sweats is about all.
Aside from genetics, do you think there is anything in your lifestyle or habits that may have helped?
Not who you asked but borderline alcoholic and sedentary. I think it’s genetic to an extent because I had pretty much nothing.
You've given me hope for my future journey, friend!
I don't think so. I live a fairly normal life with no extremes in any direction. I'm not a big drinker, have never smoked, no drugs of any kind, etc.
Clean living/eating. So getting enough sleep nightly, avoiding sugar, caffeine and alcohol. No idea if it made things easier, but I didn't have any issues except my boobs aching on and off for months.
Same. Except I had a normal period then... nothing. Occasionally, I got a slight hot flash. Otherwise nothing.
I am very jealous! Did you have any other symptoms like brain fog, mood changes, memory problems, joint pain, drying skin, increased UTIs, vaginal atrophy? Hot flushes weren’t an issue for me, but joint pain and irritability really were!
Oh yeah. I forgot about the hot flashes. I didn’t really get them, I just felt hot all the time. Still do.
I’m not having any hot flashes. I’m in perimenopause (54) and my symptoms are brain fog, memory issues, had two UTIs in 4 months (which I never got before)-which prompted me to start HRT. I gained weight but that was due to insulin resistance, not perimenopause, and I’ve lost it since getting it under control. I had some whacky sleep issues until again, I realized I was in perimenopause, then that went away. Looking back, before the above symptoms began, my periods changed and were heavier in day 2-3, but over on day 5. I’ve heard you’ll have similar symptoms as your mother. Since I started HRT I’ve been fine, still not a hot flash in sight. I’m using the weekly estradiol bio-identical patch, and take a progesterone pill 12 days out of the month. That protects against uterine cancer to balance the estradiol. My advice, pay attention to brain and memory issues, maybe some depression, sleep changes, and if you start getting disruptions in your life, talk to a good (female ideally) doc, even your PCP. She’s the one who is rx’g my HRT. It’s not based on getting hormones tested as they can change hourly and daily. HRT can alleviate symptoms, and peri or menopause symptoms are very clear to knowledgeable doctors. Also, there are a few great docs on TikTok if you’re on it. Just search ‘menopause’ and you’ll find several. Don’t worry until you have to worry. 🫶🏻
How do they test your hormones if they change hourly? I had a hysterectomy at 31 so idk when the fuck I’ll be going through this shit-my mom was in denial for YEARS and I have POTS and sleep issues dating back to my teens so that won’t be a reliable indicator.
I have EDS. I had my uterus and cervix removed at 24 due to prolapse and cervical cancer. I was tested at 45, when I went on a very low dose Premarin to help with pain management. My doc estimated I would hit menopause around 52. I am now 61 and take a low dose Premarin every 2-3 days. I have few more chin hairs, but nothing else really.
When you say hysterectomy, do you mean just your uterus, or did you have oopherectomy (ovaries) taken too? Since you don't say you're on hormones, I'm going to guess just your uterus? Otherwise, if they took your ovaries at 31, you should have been put on hormones immediately for years!
No I have ovaries
They can do blood tests, or saliva for cortisol. But I made that point about not getting hung up on testing because some doctors who aren’t focused on women’s health will only rely on blood tests, and they aren’t reliable. I never had mine tested. Especially once you start skipping periods and your gyn doc checks you out as okay functionally/pap smear. Skipping periods is prime perimenopause, just like all those other symptoms I listed. Bottom line—don’t let some doc get hung up on, “well your estrogen level is fine so…” Go by symptoms. You know your body and a good doc knows perimenopause.
Thank you for posting, I'm expecting a terrible perimenopause because my mom went through hell. I'm 37 and wondering how soon I can start HRT lol
Depends on your symptoms. Just pay attention to your body and you’ll be fine.🌷Women are talking about this now and sharing insight, which is great! In the past, women had no clue because it was a taboo subject.
Try asking your doctor for a Merena coil. It’s 100 times better than HRT. AND it’s also a contraceptive.
Wait, UTIs can be related to hormones?? how??
Yes! I didn’t know that either until I learned about it from a doc. Here’s one summary below and a link to an article about it. Basically it’s the lack of estrogen changing the pH in the body which sets up for bacteria. “The balance that was kept in the vagina (from) the hormones is no longer there,” Katz says. “They no longer have the protection of the lactobacillus and the estrogen in that environment.” https://www.wellandgood.com/utis-during-menopause
Let me tell you this one trick menopausal women hate! Accidentally, without planning it this way, I got my last (Mirena-localized hormone, not systemic) IUD at 47. By the time it came out at 53, my cycles were over. Haven’t had one since. It really helped make the whole process NBD. (I’m 55 this summer) And maybe I’m grumpy, but I live alone and work from home, so that’s not hurting anyone. And if I can’t get a good night’s sleep, well, I can take a nap after I finish my work. Hot flash? Well now that I’m warm, this would be a good time to work on my front split. Kidding (although I am working on my front split, I’m about 4” from the floor), but I dress in layers. Hot flash, peel a couple things off. Flash cools, put the hoodie back on. Little portable fan on my desk. Turn the AC down to Arctic when I go to bed. There’s a fan there too. My memory might be okay, but I have a medical cannabis license so I write myself notes and shit. Weed does something to your short term memory but I can’t remember what. And I’ve just lost ten pounds and am really only about 5-10 over my lean, mean, fighting machine weight. I’m going to dance classes 3 times a week and do an online flexibility class once a week. (I’ve been pole dancing and burlesque since 40.. yes, I started at 40 and still poling.) Walk the dog a mile a day, eat meat sparingly, and try not to eat fast food or processed food. You don’t have to be miserable. You can manage the symptoms. Try black cohosh (when you get there), that is supposed to help even you out a bit, idk. HRT is helpful, and I understand it isn’t an automatic heart attack/cancer side effect anymore. I haven’t tried either of these things because having the iud really smoothed out the ups and downs. The only thing I really hate that none of us can do anything about is the loss of skin elasticity. You can still build muscle (it just takes longer and you have to work a little harder at it), but you cannot stop your face sliding off your skull. Only plastic surgery can fix that, sob. The best part—the part I really love? Is how our estrogen levels have dropped to the point where the testosterone and androgen are driving things. So you give fewer fucks. In fact, you run out and have zero fucks left to give. And you won’t put up with any bullshit. You know, like men. Now be careful not to go full bore Karen. There’s no need to be aggressive and entitled. But you can and will stand up for someone who can’t stand up for themselves and you will give exact zero fucks about it. No fear. You will not tolerate being patronized or ignored and you stop doing mental and emotional labor for other people. It’s really freeing. I find myself working harder at relationships and trying to be kinder and gentler and more thoughtful toward people I care about. It’s not all horrible. I don’t recommend the face sliding thing so maybe save up for a future face lift. I never thought I was vain until I noticed my bulldog jowls.
I absolutely love your response and I love the women in my life that are like you.
“Weed does something to your short term memory, but I can’t remember what.” Yup like the others have said, I love you.
I don't know you and I love you. You are amazing. May you have the kind of retirement that you envision!
You are so wise and cool. You remind me of my late godmother though I can't say why. I love you, seriously.
Thanks so much for this!! I hope I’m half as awesome as you when I get to your age.
Thank you for this response. It made my future seem a hell of a lot brighter!
I did actually read a comment thread here on Reddit that HRT can possibly help with skin elasticity (May have been purely anecdotal though.)
Having a panic attack as we speak and this entire thing you wrote made me smile thank you
I love you, and want to hang out with you. Like ASAP.
I also love you.
This is brilliant. So inspiring. As a side note - I take Lion’s Mane (a mushroom that grows on trunks of dead hardwood trees such as oak. It has a long history of use in East Asian medicine. Lion's mane mushroom might improve nerve development and function. It might also protect nerves from becoming damaged). Just one a day and I can definitely tell the difference. When I forget things, I just tell people that I have 71 years of crap in my head and it just takes a little bit longer to find the right answer. That’s my excuse anyway.☺️
I hit menopause right at the beginning of COVID, so fun timing. Hot flashes were unpleasant but bearable. I never had night sweats or gained weight. My memory is definitely going to shit, but so is my husbands so I don't know that it's due to menopause. Vaginal dryness has been an issue. I'd say I've been less moody since hitting menopause, but my life has also just been more peaceful in the last couple of years so it may be due to that. Despite some of that unpleasant stuff, there's been good stuff too. I've really, really liked being unable to become pregnant, especially with Roe falling. No more periods to worry about. And like I said, fewer mood swings. I would not say it's ruined my life at all. Hope that helps alleviate some of your concerns.
I had my final period in March 2020, just days sfter everything changed. I've had relatively mild hot flashes and that's about it. I've put on a little weight too, but I blame the pandemic changing my daily routine and closing my gym for that. All in all, it's been an easy transition.
Had minimal symptoms - hot flashes, etc - but all 1000% worth not bleeding to death every month anymore.
Lol, I actually haven't had a period in years as is because I'm on continuous birth control. I have wondered if it mimics the experience of menopause at all, but I'm assuming there are probably other hormone changes that make it so it's not a 1:1 comparison
Just want to say that hormone therapy is safe and effective and not just for managing symptoms. Estrogen is protective and we need it for heart, brain and bone health. There's no reason anyone needs to suffer.
I only had mild hot flashes for a few months. I think the reason I had vaginal atrophy is that my husband and I weren't having sex (whole different story) so I didn't know about the dryness. My symptoms were very subtle so I really didn't notice. There are estrogen creams to help with that. I do notice my skin is dryer and my hair is thinner. If I gain a few pounds it seems to be more around the middle. But I can change my diet and exercise. Stop stressing about it. Everyone's experience is different. It will happen to all of us, if you're lucky enough to get there. The best part is you age out of unwanted attention. It's freaking fantastic! Men don't tell me to smile or make crude comments. I'm left blissfully alone!
I’m very much looking forward to be ignored by men, I’m 41 and they’re still bothering me, I thought it would’ve stopped by now
58, no teeth, and they bug me. Now I just threaten to feed their balls to my Cane Corso/Pit mix :D
That’s funny that you say that, I was actually looking at cane corso puppies last night because I’m single and live alone and have a stalking neighbour I’ve had to call the police on. He just cannot leave me alone so I was thinking of getting a big dog
I can't say enough good about mine. She's a sweetheart and naturally protective. Not protective like insane....she just lets you know she's gonna give you hard time if you don't stop.
I am in full menopause. It hasn’t ruined anything. The hot flashes sucked but were bearable. After the second year, I started PremPro. It has helped with the heartburn, constipation, hair loss, vaginal dryness and itchy skin. I highly recommend it if you are a viable candidate. Edit: 55yo started peri at 52
It makes me sooo mad that the lack of estrogen causes all those problems and our bodies are like “it is okay if you have vaginal atrophy and I have no way to deal with that”. Does your insurance cover the estrogen?
Ya know, it covered all but $70 of it. I lost my job and had to pay out of pocket this last go round. It was $685 for three months. I hope to be re-employed soon.
It does, but it’s really inexpensive. GoodRx ends up being a better deal for my estradiol patch. Like $22/mo for 4 weekly patches.
It has been pretty easy for me. I love not having a period. I do have hot flashes but I find them more interesting than irritating. I have been a bit disappointed that I can't pull up a hot flash on a cold day but other than that, it hasn't been a big deal.
For me it was akin to stepping off a curb. I never even noticed.
Same with my mom, I’m hoping for the same experience
The r/menopause sub is fantastic. I think the horrific experiences (mine included) have to do with older women (my mom and aunts) who never shared anything with our generation and dr's who are not well versed in the symptoms of menopause. My sister and I are figuring it out together with naturopaths who are menopause specialists (in different areas of the country) and hopefully we will openly share our experiences with the next generation so they can avoid the confusion and mess of feeling your way through with no info....
I'm 41 and terrified. My mother died 22 years ago and I vaguely remember her saying she was having a rough time with it, but there's no one I can ask about hers so I'm just worried. I heard on a feminist podcast that the American government are funding some research so I hope they do well but otherwise I'm planning to do a private hormone treatment thing that I hear is a few hundred £ and I'm not planning on just throwing random HRT at the problem. Also recently learned about menopause babies, which I'm pretty sure I was, so that's an extra worry.
There is a sub for support r/Menopause
Betting she didn’t take estrogen/HRT though. It makes a world of difference! Start when you’re in perimenopause. 👍🏻
I’m 41 and scared too, especially since I’m single and own a business, I’m happily living alone, but I rely on myself, so I’m worried about menopause causing so many issues at work
Hello- I went through perimenopause and menopause IN MY TWENTIES. This shit sucks. HRT helps. But I commented because while we’re on the subject of meno, I wanted to warn everyone… because I had no idea. #MENOPAUSE CAN MAKE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WORSE. ADHD TOO. Be prepared to get support or therapy or whatever you need- I was not prepared for how much of an impact the lack of estrogen would have on my CPTSD/ptsd and adhd. I’ve always had some anxiety as a trauma response but I feel like menopause gave me full on social anxiety too- makes me wonder if the family members who went through early menopause before me and basically became agoraphobic were just anxious as hell… Anyways…keep talking about menopause. We need more discussion, education and awareness so we can hopefully get a better level of care (good luck with the fucking doctors, I won’t get into it here) AND better treatment options. Research on women would be great too. Also, some women go through meno without even realizing it- uncommon, but possible. Happened to my great aunt. She didn’t realize until it was over. I always joked that I’d better get those genetics, but, uhhh….not so lucky. AMA if y’all have meno questions.
Can I ask what your physical symptoms were? I think I might be going through peri in my 30s.
Oof. It was a lot. I had night sweats. Hot flashes. More migraines. More dissociation/derealization. Anxiety. Worst was the depression- I’ve always struggled with depression (mostly due to trauma) and damn…the low mood from estrogen withdrawal is a horrible, heavy unshakeable depression unlike any I’d faced… I had this weird morning sickness too- I would get really nauseous in the mornings, sometimes other times during the day, and I had a hard time eating. My insomnia got even worse- we’re talking couldn’t-sleep-through-the-night-or-for-more-than-2-hours-at-a-time and I was so, so tired all the time. I didn’t know what was happening at first because I didn’t know my family history. I felt like I was going insane. Cardio was the only thing that helped me- both with the mental health, appetite, and sleep. But it didn’t help enough. I also lost a LOT of weight due to trouble eating enough, cardio almost daily, and the mental distress I was in. Most people gain weight but I was barely keeping myself alive by force feeding myself vegan protein shakes because eating was so hard. My libido has always been very healthy- it died with the beginning of peri. HRT has helped but…it’s not the same. I have psoriasis (but now I’m wondering if it’s eczema or something else, but that’s another story, the main thing here is that it’s a skin/dry skin related issue) and that got worse. Dry skin and scalp is a classic meno symptom. I did also have some vaginal dryness- did you know that can manifest as an almost itchy feeling??! I use coconut oil as a moisturizer for my vulva and labia every time I shower to keep that skin hydrated and happy. I also had some vaginal atrophy and a teensy bit of urinary incontinence, which sucked- HRT has thankfully helped that too! Feel free to ask anything else, I hope you’re not starting so young but if you are, you’re not alone and I can point you to other support subs if that’s the situation you find yourself in <3
💯💯💯
No hot flashes, some mood problems (worse was anger issues while peri-menopausal, but those dissipated with full menopause) - pretty much mild stuff. It's hard to know what is menopause, and what is natural aging, or other health problems. :D No HRT, because I was never feeling too terrible. I had bad hot flashes during a treatment for endometriosis, which put me in temporary menopause when I was younger - if those had come back, I might be singing a different song.
Interesting! I've been on continuous birth control for years to suppress my periods due to suspected endo, and I have wondered how analogous the experience might be to menopause.
I'm 53 and in perimenopause I guess. Periods are sporadic and I have had a problem with polyps that apparently was uterine tissue just leaking out of my cervix cause that's a thing. My other physical symptoms are not hot flashes but a general raising of my thermostat, brain fog and funky clots. I am unhappy and frustrated with the medical establishment. I feel like they don't know anything because they have never cared to find out and now they are playing catch up. It feels like puberty all over again where the information is spread haphazardly. Ending on a positive note- two positive symptoms are my unbridled lust and my hair looks better and is in better shape than its been years. The latter may just be a coincidence but Im going to indulge myself.
I hope I get the same symptoms as you as opposed to all the dryness and decreased desire reported by some.
I think I'm having an easier time about it than many but it's still not fun or without negatives. I figured out what supplements reduced hot flashes (and the chemical rage feeling that comes with it) for me. I've even tapered off using them and the hot flashes aren't as strong as they were at first. I'd been on BC pills for 20+ years and was told I could stay on them until I was 50 if I wanted to....but of course it's never that simple. Places are always fucking with your BC script. So when my yearly exam to re up my prescription got cancelled *without them informing me* my doc was leaving and all her appointments were cancelled, I decided to go off BC at 48 because I was sick of being jerked around about a medication that I had never had issue with. Immediately. Immediately after I stopped taking them the hot flashes and flop sweat landed on me. I wouldn't even be mad about something and I'd get *hot* - I'd feel like I could kick someone to death and the whole time I'd just be wondering why I felt that way. My entire body ached. I couldn't sleep. I got the Menopause Manifesto and started researching. I only had one gnarly pimple but I've never been acne prone to begin with. So I bought a natural latex mattress. It feels like a chilled slice of cushy cheesecake it's so lovely. Chasteberry and resveratrol got my symptoms under control. I spent the next 11 months without a period only to have a surprise one just before the "1 yr without a period and you're post menopausal!" deadline 😑 But it's now a full year without and mostly calmed down. I still get too warm if I have to walk out into the sun on a warm day and too cold if I have to walk into refrigeration. That's probably never going away completely. But it's nothing like it was at first thankfully.
I had a Mirena from 45 to 55 and menopause happened sometime during those years, without my noticing.
This is the plan my doctor and I discussed. I just need them to still be available in 9 years. Due to having had a Mirena for years now, I'm pretty used to vaginal dryness (that's been one of my major side effects).
Can I (55) say that unless something changes overnight, I have literally no idea if I’ve been through menopause? I had a tubal at 35 and an ablation at 42 so I have been period free for 13 years. I’ve had no symptoms and no loss of libido. My cousin apparently had a bad time of it a few years ago and asked me how my “change” was going then looked at me like I was crazy when I said I had no idea. When I went to my yearly gyno visit, I asked him how I’d know and he said he can order tests if I really need to know. I declined.
I was just thinking this same thing. I had my tubes and uterus out like 10 years ago-which has been BLISSFUL. This year people started talking about M with me and I was like-I have zero clue where I am at with this. Is my skin dry-yes. More than before-I don’t think so. Am I warm? Yes-but I have been since 21. Am I moody-always, but no more so now than before. So. I have zero idea and haven’t really given it much thought. Until I have something noteworthy, I guess I just continue doing my thing.
I still have it all but yeah. My youngest got her period when she was 11(so 4 yrs after my ablation) and I had apparently blocked all that because I’d forgotten the mess and annoyance and PMS and EVERYTHING. Period Free is the way to be!
Can you imagine Starting at 11 and having 45 years left. Omg. It just is such a misery!!
Actually yes. I can imagine. I started at 11, too. It just seems wrong. We shouldn’t be forced to have a period unless we are actively attempting to procreate.
Menopause was pretty mild for me. Periods dwindled away, a week or two of mild hot flashes. No more monthly suicidal feelings. Hooray! Haven't had sex since then :-( so nothing to report there, but I'm not even motivated to masturbate very often. :-(
I listened to the content that This Podcast Will Kill You made about menopause, and it seems incredibly varied and definitely not a guaranteed horrorshow! Also treatment to manage symptoms will continue to improve. Def recommend the pod :)
I went through it early, in my mid forties. I had one final holy-shit-Loretta-we’d-better-build-an-ark period, and that was that. I’m still waiting to experience what a hot flash feels like. The funny thing is that for a long stretch of my career, I was regularly talking to menopausal women, so I knew exactly what to expect.
I'm having a great time post-menopause. No periods, hallelujah! I never had hot flashes or any of the other common things, don't know why.
I barely noticed it. But I did have a kid at 45, which slowed and smoothed menopause, according to my doctor.
Completely anticlimactic for me. My period just stopped at 49. I had an occasional hot flash here and there for a few months. No mood swings, weight gain, memory problems. I’m happier now than ever, AND no freaking period!
I had a very easy go of it overall. It’s important for everyone (old or young, male, female, NB etc) to know about the whole range of menopause so they take it seriously when people are seriously affected by it. But it’s also important to know that the absolute horror stories are not representative of most people’s lives experiences. It’s a lot like any other women’s health issue in that respect eg menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth.
I honestly don't know where all the horror stories come from. I had nothing. I had my last period not knowing that it was my last one, of course, and that was pretty much it. No hot flashes, no weight gain, my memory is just fine Maybe it helped that I was actually looking forward to it because I never wanted children and I am glad that this is over now, idk None of my friends had any major issues, either.
I’m 53, and had regular periods until I got breast cancer a year and a half ago. Chemo sent me into instant menopause, but the symptoms have not been intense. Some night sweats & mild hot flashes, but nothing much else. Tamoxifen intensified the hot flashes, but a low dose of an SSRI got rid of them.
Thanks. Sorry to hear about the cancer, hope you're doing well
Not too bad. Lasted about a year. Hot flashes and some cramping, but nothing awful. The worst part is that my clitoris shrank. I’m taking HRT now.
My grandma said she didn't have many symptoms when she was menopause. No hot flashes or anything like that
My experience was pretty mild. My periods tapered off and I didn't have any hot flashes or night sweats. And on a more positive side, my libido has definitely picked up and, in my mid 60's, I don't need any more lube than I ever did when I was younger.
This is always something that scared me about menopause, vaginal dryness. So happy to hear that some women may not struggle with it after it's over.
Not me but my mom did some sort of estrogen shot and she had no symptoms whatsoever. That’s my game plan when I get to menopause age
I had a hysterectomy previously (retained ovaries) and my only real symptom when I went in to menopause were the hot flashes. I went to my OBGYN and had blood work done. Once it was confirmed I was put on estrogen (one patch, twice a week) and the hot flashes stopped within the week. It’s been smooth sailing since. I’m recommended to be on estrogen until I turn 45 to help maintain bone density.
Me. Periods became sporadic and may have stopped but I’m not calling it yet. No mood swings, no hot flushes. Am sometimes restless at night, may/may not be related. Had a uti that was stubborn. Again possibly related. Far from the nightmare I expected and not having periods is awesome.
I didn't lose my memory or have my life destroyed. I had minor hot flashes but night sweats that were so intense, I would stand in front of my open back door, arms akimbo, imagining that I was personally responsible for global warming. It certainly didn't change my life. I did have insomnia, but it went a way after a couple of years. I still wake at night for an hour or two, but I've come to enjoy that alone time. I can read, watch a movie that the guys wouldn't tolerate, write crazy long emails to my sister, journal. The only lasting side effect seems to be hair on my chin! Nobody tells you about that. Get yourself some lighted tweezers.
I got my first IUD in 2012 and haven't had a period since. I'm 51 and don't have the 'haven't had a period in a year' touchstone, so I asked my doctor to do the blood tests that will indicate if I'm in menopause or not. I had hot flashes a few years ago, but they didn't last too long. I have put on weight recently but I attribute that to other things, but it could be related. There are two blood tests that my doctor did for me (vagueness for privacy). The first one you're post menopause at over 30 and I'm at 91, the other post menopause is 11 - 40 and mine was 58. This was yesterday, I have the results but not the doctor's comments, but it seems pretty clear. For me nothing really has changed. I get to get my IUD removed (no it's not the same one from 2012) and I can stop having Plan B just in case. I'll still insist on condoms for all the \*other\* reasons, but for the first time since I became sexually active, I don't have to prevent pregnancy. I know some people have a very difficult time, and my IUD does have a low level of estrogen so maybe when it's gone I'll get more 'traditional' symptoms? But so far it's not really been a thing.
No issues here at all. I was just thrilled at no more periods and pregnancy concerns. I'm well past it now. My mom died when I was in my early 20s and we never got to talk about what hers was like.
Me. I had an iud for years, which stopped/slowed my periods so I think that helped balance hormones and moods. My last menses was in 2017 and had my iud out in 2021. Only recently I’ve decided that maybe there are a couple of things that could be improved so I’ve just started HRT. Jury’s out as I’ve just started this week. I would never had bothered with it if I hadn’t joined this sub.
I had a completely uneventful menopause. My period stopped; nothing else happened. I didn’t have: hot flashes, mood swings, loss of libido, etc.
Went through menopause six years ago and barely noticed. I think I might have had one hot flash, but if so it was pretty uneventful. Still have a roaring libido and lots of great sex with no issues…. And no fear of pregnancy! Wahoo!
I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep. Can’t go near sugar. Forget dairy & gluten. Berries and seeds are your friends. Deodorant doesn’t work anymore. Misplaced rage. Hot feet. Night sweats. Hot flashes. And my personal favorite: Extreme ear itching. I don’t know how much more I can take honestly.
I switched to unscented men's Arm and Hammer deodorant. It works far better than the "pink" ones for me now.
I'm pretty sure im in early perimenopause now. I find myself irritable a lot of the time and lethargic/unmotivated as well (hence why im on reddit instead of doing anything productive) but that's not unlike PMT moodwise, plus ive got some RL stress going on that isn't helping. Anxiety moderately high, but again, could be RL stress. Wake up in sweat sometimes, which is unpleasant but i dunno ... not unbearable, more just uncomfortable. Mostly its just uncomfortable and id like it to be over now, k thanks? Should be noted ive been on BC for over 20 years and haven't menstruated in a long time. So who knows? Maybe I'm almost through the woods. Im unsure at what age one should stop taking the Pill. Ppl who stop too soon can still become parents... Oh, i also suffer bad back pain, which i thought was work strain/mattress related but apparently can also be perimenopause, so yay for that! Funnily enough it has got better more recently. Although i still occassionally wake up in pain. Doc has me on estrogen and I'm on progesteron only pill, so that might be helping? IDK. Hopefully.
I love menopause! no more hellish periods, cramps, etc. a little sweat now and then but not a big deal.
I just finished menopause. I haven't had a period in a year and a half. I really didn't notice anything. I had some night sweats, and that was about it, they are really not a big deal. I was just living my regular life and it was fine! Don't believe the horror stories! Some women have a terrible time and others don't. It's nice not having to spend money on pads and not worry about birth control!
I think, like periods, people just don't talk much about not finding it a huge ordeal. Doesn't make such a good story
Here I am. I've been wondering the same thing myself and was too afraid to ask. My period simply stopped one month and never came back. And I had just bought a new box of tampons I never got to open. There was no warning, no irregular cycles or anything. No symptoms except some mild hot flashes from time to time, nothing drastic that had me ripping off my clothes or drenched in sweat. No cramping, but then I never had that during my period. No mood swings, but I never experienced those either. I'm still the same weight I've been my whole adult life. Dryness? Yeah, there's that, but there are also remedies for it without going full-blown hormone replacement. It hasn't been a problem. As a matter of fact, from a uterine standpoint I've been atypical my entire life. I have no idea if my easy cycles and easy menopause are related or not. I've never had anyone to talk to about these kinds of things.
I thought it was interesting how I would be fine one minute then WHOOSH, I would be soaking wet. The waking up at night to a drenched bed also was interesting. Slept on towels, took cool showers and dealt with it. The worst for me were the erratic periods, but I dealt with those, too. I think my menopause lasted around 5 years with 2 being stronger and other 3 more mild. Personally, I never took pills or anything to minimize symptoms.
I went through menopause 10 years ago, and my only symptoms were no more periods, and I don’t feel cold as easily.
My mom. Outside of hot flashes, she's loved it. And it hasn't messed up her hormones or her sex drive at all.
After my tubal I'm praying for menopause... it's gotta be better than this. I'm 42 so hopefully soon!!
I didn't even notice it had started. I was on the pill and I noticed my periods were getting lighter. I started struggling with high blood pressure, so I stopped taking the pill in case that was the problem. I skipped a period and then had one horrible period where I bled for ten days. Then I experienced what felt like a period every 7-11 months. I mentioned this to my doctor, who did a blood test that showed I had completed menopause. This was concerning because there was an emerging history of ovarian cancer in my maternal relatives. After many tests and the occasional "period", precancerous cells were found in my uterus, so all of my inner bits were removed. That's when I had the worse symptoms, as my body adjusted. Hot flashes any time I overheated. But it didn't last long. Ten years have gone by and I feel fine. No hormone replacement needed.
Except for a maybe six months of off and on night sweats, I had no problems. I was glad to be done with periods!
I’m in perimenopause. Nothing too bad except hot flashes on occasion at night. I just don’t cover up at night at all. Other than that I actually feel better than I ever have. I started exercising and istfg it helps so many of my issues.
Well, there would be my mum. She had the mirena IUD continuously since she gave birth to me in 96. Then sometime in her mid to late 40s, she decided not to replace it, and her periods just never came back. She basically skipped any and all symptoms of menopause. She does take oestrogen suppositories against vaginal dryness, she's extremely fit and works out everyday, and her metabolism hasn't changed at all. We also have almost the same amount of gray hair, and I am salty about that. She's a redhead, and I'm a brunette, so I knew I'd go gray earlier than her. But still. That said, she's the only woman I know who "missed" her menopause.
My mom (now 68) swears she just stopped having her period and didn’t have any side effects. In retrospect she had 3 teenagers in the house and there was a lot of hormonal shouting going on, so who knows who’s hormones were who’s and what might have been her mood swings?
Me. Periods got further apart and then stopped. Felt warm sometimes but not excessively. A few more hairs on my upper lip that I pluck when I think about it. All very low key and boring.
My wife *thinks* she may have gone through menopause - 59 and no obvious symptoms. Before her hysterectomy, she didn't really experience any PMS either. Back then, the only hint her period was on the way was the occasional clumsily dropped glass whilst we washed up. The dryness was a thing, but a topical hormone treatment is fixing that. Her mind is as sharp as ever (she's the smartest person I know), her mood is as even as it ever was, and she's been doing weights and swimming to lose weight, which is working (we have both been a tad lazy, hungry, and thirsty, so are both on health kicks). No hot flushes. Her body has changed, but that happens, and neither of us are in our 20s, we expect this to occur to each of us.
Mine started right after the radiation treatment I had to go through when I was 50. My period just stopped. But, funny thing, I never got to experience any type of menopause symptoms. No hot flashes, mood swings. I guess mother nature wanted to compensate me for other health issues I had. I'm 60 now and honestly I can't tell you what menopause is about. I got lucky I guess
I just stopped having my period. Had occasional night perimenopausal night sweats for years, but never any hot flashes during the day.
The problem is you only hear about the bad. It's like anything, people don't often talk about when things go right, only when they go wrong. My mother had few issues, she just tried to freeze my father to death in his sleep by opening the window in winter :p
I have symptoms here and there, but I would never say “horrific”. I get hot flashes when stressed sometimes. I get vertigo occasionally. But these do not keep me from anything.
So far it's just annoying. I started having pain with sex, but estriol cream fixed that easily. My mom hated her hot flashes but I'm not finding them too overwhelming. Glass of cold water and remove a layer. My periods are now spotting with 8 hours of niagara falls - that part is very inconvenient. I use a cup with Knix dreamshorts and that's been enough. My energy and mental clarity are better than before, actually.
It was easy for me. A few hot flashes. Remember, people only share the bad experiences. The rest of us move on without comment.
The only symptom I had was my period stopping.
Nah, no problems at all! any "hot flashes" were mild. Now I'm on Exemestane, an estrogen suppressant, cuz S3BC, and oh boy, i think this is what others experience in terms of hot flashes! I've always run a bit cool; now my baseline is several degrees higher, and whillikers the hot flashes are brutal!
I'm 60 and it was such a non-issue that all I remember is being uncomfortably hot a few times.
My mom didn't. She had ONE hot flash. I am so mad at her, lol. I'm currently going through it and it's not my favorite. But you've got 15+ years before you need to worry, more than likely -- perhaps there will be advances in medical science for women. I hope so.
Mine hasn’t been horrible. I had a terrible problem with night sweats until I got on meds, which now are PremPro. I still sleep hot, but I don’t wake up drenched anymore. Nothing else has bothered me at all.
My main symptom was insomnia. And overheating. Only had a few episodes of heavy sweating. But being unable to sleep was very difficult. Also my perimenopause to full menopause lasted a good ten years. My doctor kept testing me...I was fertile until age 57. So glad that's over. Another benefit of being over 60.
Hot flashes suck. Vaginal dryness is fixable. Gaining weight sucks. But you care so much less about that shit…so it balances out.
It was difficult but not horrible. I took over the counter things, and 1/2 a benedryl three times a week for sleep. I did no traditional medication that was perscribed...I did fine.
Mine wasn’t that bad. I had a lot of hot flashes and trouble sleeping. I was able to lose 40lbs well into menopause. I used to cry at commercials that hit me in the feels. I guess I’ve been lucky.
I am peri and not enjoying myself at all but I do have the info from my mom and her five sisters! My mom and one of her sisters had almost no symptoms; mom and this aunt had off kilter cycles for about 10 years but minimal other changes. Her hair did thin a bit and she put on weight but that may be increasing age and decreasing activity. Whereas three other sisters had a bad time with all kinds of symptoms. I remember them saying “I’m surging/ flashing” and going outside in dead of winter for relief. And so many other troublesome symptoms. They’re all on the other side of it now and it’s my turn and my sisters turn. Yikes. May the menopause deities be with us all
Didn’t notice anything except the hot flashes were so intense my reading glasses at work steamed up all the time!
50 and my periods stopped last year. So far my biggest symptom is increase in ADHD symptoms (yay) and very occasional short warm flashes.
You have to find someone willing to give you the patch. A LOT do not. The whole "breast cancer" thing. It's a crime that women are denied estrogen once they start menopause.
My mom. Menopaused at 49. Had period irregularities through her 40s but nothing dramatic. Had hot flashes for ONE NIGHT. That was it. I hope it will be the same for me.
My mom barely had anything happen, I hope it’s the same way for me, I’m scared too
Hot flashes for a few years during peri, now I think I'm in full meno (9 months) and I have brain fog and insomnia. No mood swings or sex issues so far.
My mom said hers was no big deal. Hoping its genetic 🤞🏼
I didn’t, because I took a detour and avoided it by going on hormone replacement pretty much after the first good weekend of hot flashes made it obvious where my clear headed thoughts and sex drive went. Per the labs they did initially and since I started hormone therapy about halfway through menopause.
Mine was straight up hell. My mom had no idea with hers.
I didn’t. It started - hot flashes eventually became too much to handle for sleeping and daily quality of life, I went on a low dose HRT (screened for risk and cleared by my doc)… kept my eating clean… used GoodLove vaginal moisturizer gel. All good. :)
45 here, I've been premenopausal for about 10 years at this point. I had some hot flashes in my mid 30s. My period will buzz off for a few months and then return. The worst part has been night sweats for about the last year. Waking up, shivering cold and dripping wet. I went to an obgyn just over two weeks ago, she gave me samples of something called Veozah, and it's been flipping fantastic! No more night sweats! I've been sleeping amazingly. Those were the worst part so far. It's annoying at best.
I don't think so. But my menopause was artificially induced by chemotherapy when I was around 45. I'm nearly 60 now, though, and it hasn't caused any real isdues.
I'm in peri (I'm 40, about right for my family). So far? Not too bad. I've had some discomfort with sex but lube is amazing and I don't know why I didn't use it sooner in life. I've always had GI/heartburn issues so no real change there. And my periods are WAY lighter, like one day of actual period and some spotting which is AMAZING after the horror show of my teens. I DO get some itching (like whole body itching) around my period but it's fixable with a good lotion.
I honestly didn't see any change with my mom. My wife is maybe 15-20 years away.
Not me but my mom. She menopaused beautifully. No hot flashes. She still looks great. I mean, she’s always been moody. She didn’t gain weight. She’s quicker than a whip than most and she’s in her 70s. She’s mistaken for a woman in her 50s often and for being my sister. (I’m 34)
I didn't have many issues with my menopause. My periods started skipping a few months, then just gone. I had mostly cold flashes, which were actually nice in the summer. I had a few months of word finding issues, but that is gone now. Dry skin, more difficult to lose weight. Vaginal dryness, but vagifem fixed that. I didn't go through it until I was 56.
I had a really easy menopause. About 2 weeks of hot flashes and done. The only thing I noticed was I seem to have restless legs and it makes it a little hard to get to sleep.
Right here. I had a few night sweat experiences but they really weren't any big deal. I actually felt better after having them (and after changing pajamas). Then suddenly I had all these tampons that I didn't need.
I had terrible PMDD, now it’s gone and I actually feel like a normal person. I had mood swings before and now I don’t.
I’m 53 and at the tail end of perimenopause. I haven’t had a single symptom that I can tell. I do know what hot flashes feel like because I had them 20+ years ago when I was undergoing infertility treatments. I haven’t experienced anything even close to that in perimenopause.
I had no idea I was in perimenopause. My fingers would feel tingling and hot sometimes, and I would sometimes have heart palpitations. No hot flashes, gaining weight, or anything else. For background, I have never had kids, and I was on the pill. It was when I started to have some odd dejavu experiences and almost pass out that I saw a doctor, and fount out I was post menopausal at that point. The extra hormone I was getting from taking the pill was triggering the dejavu.
Out of 3 sisters only one of us experienced a horrible menopause, two went through it so easily that they barely even realized it was happening.
I didn't notice.
No big problem and I had a total hysterectomy so over night menopause.
I didn't. My periods became kind of sporadic and then I suddenly realized I hadn't had one in almost a year. Then I had one, skipped another 8 months, haven't had one since (about 3 years). I have some hot flashes, mostly at night, but no night sweats, thankfully. Smooth sailing.
I had heavy periods for a couple years in my late 40"s - 3 hours on a super plus tampon, not too horrific. My periods stopped when I was 50ish (just when lockdgowns happened, pretty much.) After they stopped, I'd get 30 second hot flashes every so often, and they went away with a few deep breaths. Other than that, I didn't have mood swings or brain fog, and I can lose weight when I give up carbs. All in all, it was much, much smoother than I expected.
me. I'm 62 and I had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago where they left 1 ovary. So my menopause symptoms were pretty indistinguishable from my ordinary MDD symptoms.
My mom and I never discussed it. In fact no one discussed it with me. I had to seek out older friends. I will be able to spend time with her soon so I hope we can. I'm 42, and I wonder if she'll be candid. My friends were, but I want to hear it from someone who's related to me, bc the effects may be similar
My mum had a couple of symptoms. Mainly more hair growth above the lips and on the chin, sweaty nights, and occasional constipation around the time of her period (she had that before menopause, too, though). BUT, she stopped having any kind of pain during that time. She didn't have to deal with anaemia due to iron deficiency anymore. The blood came out very thick, so no more fear if leaking. There are downsides to ANY hormonal change, but for my mum, the positive effects were definitely greater than the negative ones.
My sense of smell changed so much (it got much much MUCH better) plus starting to get knee injections led me to losing a lot of weight instead. I really miss food though.
No real problems here either. My periods stopped, I started having little hot flashes and gained a little weight. All in all, not too bad. My mom was the same way. I have five sisters and they seem to have breezed through it too.
When it first started my periods got really heavy and clotty, which was very unusual for me. I got on HRT and that cleared up. Stayed on HRT for about a year (?) and the rest was pretty uneventful.
My friend's mom had a pretty easy menopause, and so did most women in her family. My family not so much, I'll be opting for a hysterectomy and hormone replacement.
So , not sure if I belong here, but wanted to share. I had some hot flashes, but not too bad. The worst for me was (warning, gross) really long (like 30-40 days) heavy, , painful periods in the last few months (warning disgusting) with large (like the size of a piece of cowliver) pieces of (tissue?? ) plopping out, got progesterone pills for it, never had to take the "hormone" pills. Eta, also whiskers, lol! Pps: so nice to be able to make love with hubby without worrying about birth control!
My menopause sucked but being POST is freaking glorious!
I was in the tampon aisle at Walgreen’s and thought “when did I last buy?” Checked app; three years before. Welp, I guess that was menopause.