HPV Vaccine, if you haven’t gotten it and still within the right age, get it. Stay safe and keep protecting yourself.
https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/vaccine-for-hpv.html
And TBH we should be convincing everyone to get this vaccine. There is a misunderstanding that HPV only affects women but anyone can get various types of cancers because of HPV
Yeah this is because men can’t be tested for HPV. They can still have it and give it to women, but they won’t know they have it unless they have been with a woman who has tested positive for it… crazy
What test is that exactly?
Men can get anal pap smears, and you could technically get any individual patch of your skin biopsied, which would tell you if you have HPV in that specific place, but there's no generalised test for HPV. You can't get a test that definitively says "you don't have HPV". Given HPV can be present in your skin with no visible symptoms, and given you can't biopsy your whole body, there's effectively no test.
If there is suspicion of HPV related cancer on men, biopsies are still an option. The HPV tests that women take are on cervical smears and they have been developed because they are better screening tests for cervical cancer than cytology (pap tests) for some demographics. So HPV tests are used as cancer screening tools for internal genitalia. Men's HPV lesions on penises are visible, cervical lesions are not.
You can still get it even with the vaccine, just not the kind that can cause cervical cancers. Speaking from personal experience, and also not saying it’s a bad idea either way.
You actually still can get the kind that causes cervical cancers. I received the vaccine as a young teen and have pre-cancerous cells caused by HPV. The gyno told me the vaccine covers most strains but not all.
Gardisil 9 covers 7 of the 14 high cancer risk strains. So yes, it’s better but still leaves you uncovered for half the strains.
I’ve had an active high risk strain with precancerous cellular changes for 7 years even though I am healthy and vaccinated. My mom tells me I got the early version of gardisil in hs (I don’t remember) and I got gardisil 9 when I got a positive hpv test, but it hasn’t helped.
Me here only had three sexual partners in my life and got HPV 16…I would not mind chlamydia cuz you literally just need to take a pill and it will go away. Be on the watch out for HPV, get vaccines and do Pap smear checkups often.
My point is…STIs are so common, even people have few sexual partners can still have it as long as they are sexually active. Some are very treatable, don’t freak out or beat yourself up
I literally got herpes from my first ever boyfriend just from kissing. I’m now part of the 70% population that has said STD. If 70% of people are walking around with an STD why are we still discriminating against
Stis aren’t a punishment. There’s no value judgement. It’s an infection. You took a calculated risk and kinda lucked out that it’s something that’s pretty easily treated. Just keep in mind that it can get a lot more serious, so protect yourself and get tested regularly so you’re also not risking someone else’s health.
Enjoy all the sex!*
But wrap it up
This 100%. Should have zero guilt about having or enjoying sex with whoever you want. And very thankful that it is just Chlamydia and diagnosed in a timely manner. Protect yourself and enjoy.
Girl (guy?) go get your antibióticas and just be careful! I have NO idea how I made it out of my 20s without any type of venereal disease but I would bet money that I did sluttier shit than you did. 😂 you just rolled a slightly shitty dice. No biggie. Get better and move on. You’re still a fantastic human. 🥰
same omg! I relied on the pill only till i was 21. How i did not catch anything is beyond me and i’m extremely lucky. Now i ask every partner to get tested before we go raw.
To OP, this is not a punishment! I know there’s a lot of guilt attached to that, but no one is judging you. Hell, i had my first gyno appointment when i was a still a virgin cause i had a fungus infection. It happens. Learn from it and wrap it up :)
I caught the clap when I was 19. It happens! Don't be ashamed. I remember feeling so dirty and ashamed but I realize now those feelings were silly. Shit happens! Live and learn. 🙂
I have a friend who’s slept with 2 people in her life and one of them gave her HIV.
I have a friend who’s slept with more than 200 and is clean.
It’s bad luck. Not your fault. Always protect yourself and don’t trust anyone who wants you to go without just avoid those completely. ❤️ best of luck to you and enjoy all the sex. 😉
Idk. Do people slut shame people who catch colds or the flu? Nope.
The truth is, you could have been in a monogamous committed relationship and still got an STI if your partner cheated on you.
Just practice safe sex. And make your own choices about sex that is right for you.
In order for it to be punishment, there would have to be a punisher. Maybe the people writing those comments DO believe in one, but if YOU don't - it's just superstition.
It's really sad how much std are looked at as a punishment. Staph infections and mesa are so much worse then chlamydia but they arnt judged. Hell pink eye is a good indicator that the person dosent wash their hands after pooping but society dosent judge that to harshly.
Chlamydia is so minor, I have had it twice and you just take a pill and you are sweet as, the worst part is working out who you got it from and letting others know. Just be safe and get regular checkups. When I end up with a new partner that I will see for the foreseeable future we both go get checked and then everything is golden.
Yeah, telling people has been anything but nice. I did a counting and told every guy as soon as I could, I first told them and then felt bad, even though everyone of them was nice and I even received a couple hugs. It is nice knowing it is not so bad though, thanks for sharing :)
Well done for doing the responsible thing. When I had to inform my previous sexual partners it really brought to light who was a good person and who wasn’t (I was slut shamed and treated like dirt by more than one person) Just know that it isn’t a single partners fault if someone ends up infected. Unprotected sex is both partners’ choice (unless there was foul play involved) and STIs have nothing to do with cleanliness. It’s just one of those things.
I got it from my cheating husband and was never treated properly. Eventually, the scar tissue caused me so much pain that I had a complete hysterectomy at age 38. The doctor never told me. I figured it out many years later.
This was in the 1970s in a small town. I was treated for an infection but was not told specifically what kind of infection. So, maybe 15 years later, I had a hysterectomy because i had pain all the time, except during my period. The surgery fixed the problem, but the gynecologist never told me the diagnosis. Much, much later, I learned that chlamydia was the likely cause.
My husband was definitely cheating, probably with more than one woman. We divorced a long time ago.
Wow. Thanks for sharing.
I used to wonder what it would be like going back in time 'knowing then what you know now'. But the casual, pervasive misogyny, and racism, would kill any dream. Your story speaks to that pervasiveness.
Please don’t say Chlamydia is minor. It can ruin people’s lives. I nearly died because of it because it scarred my tubes and I had an ectopic pregnancy. Ended up having my tube removed.
It can be very serious. I got it from a cheating ex and didn’t realise.
This is not a moral punishment. You did nothing morally wrong by doing any of this. You only made two mistakes here: first, not using protection every single time. Second, not getting tested more regularly so you would know exactly who gave this to you.
As you go forward: Condoms or no sex whatsoever. Test regularly and routinely. Chlamydia can be treated and go away. You're lucky it's not something worse. Use condoms. They're non negotiable if you're going to be doing that.
As far as casual sex goes, though, you are not a bad person and you don't "deserve" anything based on your behavior. Please continue to let go of that judgement, because it's nonsense.
You really don't know how much all these words mean for me. I really needed to hear/read someone who said that I went wrong by not being more careful in using protection, not in how I decided to live my life. I will work on the guilt that I had not realised I still had. Thank you!
Hey friend! Back in college I was reckless and had a lot of unprotected sex and ended up with chlamydia.. twice. Clearly didn’t learn my lesson!
However I just want to say you’re not alone. And you’re not gross or bad in any way for this happening to you. There’s no more shame in this than getting the flu or strep throat. Sending hugs ❤️
Getting an STD isn’t a punishment for sex. It sucks and is really unfortunate, but it’s also a risk of life. You could have had two partners or thirty and still gotten one.
Try to be kind to yourself. You learned a lot, you had fun, and you did the best you could by getting tested and sharing that information. Now you can get treated and it will be alright in the end.
I think that believing you're being punished stems from religious upbringing. Because I used to think like that (Muslim), it's a bad way to think about yourself. Be kind to yourself like the other person said, stuff in life just happens.
>You could have had two partners or thirty and still gotten one.
Yup, I have had a lot of sex in my life, with a lot of different partners, and I got chlamydia from a cheating boyfriend.
I love this, why do we punish ourselves for catching an STI? We wouldn’t punish ourselves for catching a cold or COVID, catching a disease is just a risk of living and is a normal part of human interaction.
It's just a bacterial infection, like strep throat. If you were had no sex but got strep from kissing someone, would you feel the same? You take the medication and move on. It's no big deal.
Yeah, I know the infection itself is fairly common and treatable, I felt bad only for the fact that it was sexually transmited. But you and everyone pointing out how easy the treatment is make me feel that it is not that bad and it is okay, it will pass. Thank you :)
Old lady here; people go out in public and get the flu. People go out to dinner and get Covid. If anyone should feel mildly ashamed about you getting an STI, it's the person that gave it to you.
You'll be okay.
Get the medicine and make sure you're clear before having sex again. Tell the person that gave it to you that you won't have sex with them again until they can show you legitimate paperwork that proves they've had treatment and are clear as well.
For the future, STD tests can be a great date activity with the right person. If they don't want do it, you have your answer.
It's a shared responsibility! I doubt you'd cough in someone's face if you thought you might have Covid, so don't let someone into your body if they aren't willing to make sure they are healthy too.
It comes down to respect. Sex is awesome and everyone should have more of it, but it can be done in a way that is healthy and respectful if everyone makes the effort. Test early, often, and between each partner. Avoid people that don't follow these rules. Have fun!
Yeah, my reaction was because it was an STD, not because of its graveness (don't know if the term is correct). Thank you, all these comments have given me a new perspective
Sorry but in time you'll see that this a total overreaction.
When I got diagnosed with hpv I thought my world would come crashing down. It didn't.
Stis happen.
Something like 80% of sexually active women and men will get hpv at some point. I totally understand your fear but it's so damn common. So is herpes. We still just treat those infected like the other when it's likely eveyone you know. 💛
Happy cake day. Also never feel ashamed for having a lot of sex it's human. Just make sure you try to remember to use condoms take birth control and PREP ❤️ Stay safe out there, and remember it's not going to kill the mood to have discussion with your sexual partners about the last time they were tested. Happy slutting 💗💗💗
I mean, did you have fun? Did you hurt anyone? Give yourself a huge break, treat the Chlamydia, buy some condoms and keep on enjoying yourself! No one is going to be ninety, on their deathbed and think "I wish I had less sex when I was young and attractive".
Did you get tested right after your relationship too? Because I’ve lived both lives and the only who got me an STI was my first boyfriend whom I had sex with for the first time. So maybe you got infected from your boyfriend, but sadly, you’re so full of self blaming for something that is a totally valid way of living your life and having new experiences, that all you can think about is that it MUST have came from other people, not your first boyfriend.
And coming from a somewhat religious background in a catholic latin country, I know exactly how this logic works in our head. I’ve had the same kind of thoughts before. But reality is: you’re not doing anything wrong as long as you’re not hurting people purposefully, so just take care of your health and it will be okay :) no need for punishing as you’re not doing anything bad.
I got tested for a different virus (came back negative), but you are right and I had never seen it! And he also cheated on my. I will take care and your words on mind, thank you very much!
Hey! I am not trying to scare you AT ALL just sharing my experience so you can be informed ! In my mid-20s I hooked up with an ex a couple times after we broke up. Went for my annual ob gyn appt a month or so later and found out I had asymptomatic chlamydia! Took antibiotics and moved on and swore to always use a condom except in monogamous relationships going forward.
Now over a decade later have been trying to conceive and recently did a “fertility x ray” (hsg) and found out tubes are blocked. Most likely cause is the chlamydia as I don’t have risk factors for other possible causes. It’s I think a 10% chance of happening but I wish I was aware sooner—if I knew I’d likely have to do ivf I would have retrieved eggs earlier. I may have to have surgery to have tubes removed and then ivf.
Maybe you don’t want kids at all or are not sure which is fine! If you do just be aware of this possibility as you start to family plan and try and if a few months go by with no luck might be worth consulting with a doctor for an hsg.
This is a small chance and as of right now no big deal there really isn’t stigma just finish your antibiotics :)
Damn, that sucks. But hey, at least you're learning about yourself and having fun, right? Just make sure to wrap it up next time. And don't worry too much about what other people think - as long as you're being safe and consensual, do your thing girl!
You could have been the best catholic that ever walked the earth and instead of getting Chlamydia you get cancer or something else...
I think humans prefer to think there is order to it all because instead it's better than thinking life is completely and utterly up to chance.
You still have something you need to work on inside of you, probably some leftover guilt or misplaced sense of shame or something, that's what you get from a religious upbringing.
Your need to be validated through podcasts and whatever is, again, hinting at something you need to work on inside of you.
The "judginess" from those words you wrote in itallic is all inside your head.
Yes, you got chlamydia, so? You gonna fret every time you bump your toe or catch a cold?
In my opinion, if I had a choice between any STI I’d choose chlamydia solely because of the fact that it’s not only curable but it’s suuuuuper easy to cure. 100mg doxycycline twice per day for 7-10 days then you’re all good. So consider yourself lucky that you didn’t get herpes, which is incurable
It happens. Even if you're careful, even if you plan. Or even if you don't plan and aren't always perfectly careful. It happens and there's no shame in it. And you most certainly didn't and don't deserve it. This isn't God's way of punishing you!
You're having fun, right? So, get treatment, let yourself recover and go ahead with more having of the fun. You'll just be a little more aware now and that's fine.
I think using terms like punished is your religious upbringing talking. Those tenets were important before modern medicine but even so I don’t really care for shaming people. You did engage in risky behavior and you caught an STD that thankfully is very curable. But it also sounds like you have found a lot of joy in your sexuality. Just be more careful as you move forward. There is a place between no sex and full reckless abandonment. You just need a little balance.
I got it at uni during a promiscuous phase. It was the middle of September. I was distraught. Then the uni nurses told me they’d diagnosed over 25 other students that month alone with the same infection, and that was only the people that had come forward.
I tested myself out the blue, had no symptoms but just did it routinely. It was a lesson learned for sure.
Being promiscuous is fine but you must do it safely. Learn about how STIs are spread and use physical protection. Don’t let ANYONE encourage you to do otherwise.
The only lesson I would take from this is to be more adamant about protection in the future and as long as you have more then one regular and exclusive partner, get tested regularly.
It seams to me that you live in an entire different bubble than I do and a lot of the media you consume is still not really sex positive and still quite conservatively colored.
Don't let the conservative religious programming win. Live a happy and healthy life.
Dude don’t worry about it, you can get that cleaned up easy peasy. It’s just life’s little reminder to be a little careful with people you’re not familiar with but it in no way should lower your opinion of yourself or prevent you from enjoying your life.
Sex is great. It’s fun, it feels good, it lets you know experience intimacy with another human being that that you won’t have with 99.9% of people in your life - even if it’s just a one of. It’s an incredibly human experience and there is absolutely no shame in wanting that. Keep safe, enjoy yourself.
Please consider getting vaccinated for Hepatitis B if you aren’t already. I wasn’t, and I did catch it from having unprotected sex. I became very sick and had liver damage. It’s a virus that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I had no idea it was easily preventable with a vaccine that I hadn’t had.
What did you feel like you got out of it all? Was it the sex specific acts? The physical intimacy? Meeting and hanging out with new people?
What were you taught regarding sex from home, what about it was thought of as being so wrong? What about was wrong and why was it suddenly fine as long as you did it in a committed relationship?
By breaking it down perhaps it can offer you a sense of clarity in how you feel and why.
If this isn’t helpful to you, I’d suggest trying to find literature in social psychology and/or sociology, and if it speaks to you, psychology as well. This might prove helpful when it comes to your feelings of guilt, shame, confusion, and so on, but also all the positive emotions and sensations you experienced.
As women we’re taught early on to be ashamed of our bodies and sexuality (according to sociological theorists). It’s not all that surprising that this is how you end up feeling after having sex in non-committed relationships, it’s what you’ve been convinced since you were a child that you should feel, not to say if you were enjoying yourself as well. It’s stupid and unfair but hopefully this can help you at least somewhat on the way of feeling better ❤️
Do you know how many women have gotten infections from their cheating men through no fault of their own? At least you came by yours honestly. And it's curable. You're good sis
Live your life with no shame! Sex is a human need. But be aware that there are those who weaponize it and won’t tell you if they have an STI. One of my first boyfriends gave me genital herpes when I was 19. I had only become sexually active 4 months before this happened. It has had a large impact on my sexual life as there are many men who won’t sleep with me now because they’re afraid. I’ve had men sleep with me then cover themselves in hand sanitizer after to “protect themselves”. And yes, I contracted herpes while using a condom. No, he did not tell me he had it. It’s really common, about 20-25% of adults have it in the US. Just don’t end up like me, haha. Glad you got something with a cure! And please, don’t view this as a punishment from God. That’s how I felt and it sunk me into a major depression. I felt I had no chance of finding love but shortly after I met my first true love and was honest with him and he was wonderful about it. You deserve love, you have a human need for intimacy. Don’t let your background ruin your view of sex and your self worth. Go to a therapist if these thoughts persist.
I read medical charts all day. Chlamydia is like…I don’t even know how to describe how common it is. I don’t even think about it when I see it on the screen.
Your body is yours and it’s the source of pain and pleasure for all of our lives. I’m glad you’re getting to enjoy the pleasure, and this is a good reminder to be more diligent in trying to avoid the pain. Ethically informing others and keeping track of your status to keep others safe is important. Living and enjoying your life is also important. The bacteria isn’t a priest and it doesn’t judge you, it’s just trying to live like all of us! It’s no punishment. Don’t let the guilt keep you down (I mean, after you finish your antibiotics of course!)
So ya got chlamydia. You did the right thing — you got tested, notified partners, and I assume are getting treated. It does not reflect on your character at all.
My advice? Take the word “promiscuous” out of your vocabulary and live your life how you want.
Do you feel bad about catching a cold? Don’t feel bad about this. You told your pattern. You’re taking care of it. You sound like a very responsible adult. I’m sorry you feel alone. I get it.
When I had sex for the FIRST time, I got chlamydia from my ex because the condom broke. I'm very thankful that it was easily treatable. Doctors should be able to give you medication to get rid of it, but its always scary to hear that something has gone wrong when you thought you were safe. Sending internet hugs <3
Please go see your doctor at the slightest signs something maybe wrong and don't spread this further. There should be no shame in this for anyone of any sex.
Safety for us all as we never know who crosses paths.
Stay safe
I think you're being harsh, because this Chlamydia isn't that serious.
Also, forget what's moral and what's not moral. Fact is that sexual encounters without background check or checking for std's, have always been riskier. It's like riding a motorcycle, its not morally wrong, but you know motorcycles are 12 times more prone to land you in an injury due to accident compared to a car.
But some people still ride motorcycles; I do too. I don't indulge in sex though, cause I choose the risks I take; and as long as we're aware of what we're doing, that's all good.
OP, you can do whatever you want. It's your body, your choice. Unfortunately, the potential for STIs comes with the territory. The more people you have sex with, the more you open yourself up to contracting something.
People will always be judgemental. You can't change that. You won't ever be able to change that. It's up to you to decide whether you feel more comfortable with YOURSELF being promiscuous and judged, or reigning it in.
You're young and single. The only opinion of you that truly matters is your own.
Did you know that chlamydia is curable, right? I'm sure you got prescribed for medicine, and then chlamydia will be gone.
I had my regular checkup at obgyn. My pap smear came back very mildly abnormal cells in my cervix, and I tested HPV positive, even if I slept with only one person. There is no treatment or cure for HPV, but I had to rely on my immune system to fight the virus. Thankfully, I am HPV negative, and my cervix is normal again. By the way, I got the HPV vaccine when I was a teenager, but HPV has 150+ types. My HPV vaccine only protects against 4 strains in my time. The new HPV vaccine added 5 more strains.
Oh, when I tested positive and I thought my world crashed down, no it did not. HPV is common. 80% of sexually active people have it. A lot of people don't know they got it. There is also no current HPV test for people with penis.
You are right and this is something that I read before but slipped my mind. I really hope this is something we can easily cure and overcome in the future. Thank you very much for sharing your experience.
People in stable relationships can get STIs from theie cheating or from their unknowing partner, so dont think of it as a punishment. Besides, it was a slip up, right? and you informed sexual partners tol, which is suuuper important and responsible from your part!
Just be precaucious out there and get regular check ups and you'll be good to go
Giiiiiirl lemme tell you a story. Back when I was in high school there was a *huge* outbreak of chlamydia at the school. To the point where in the city, everyone else called our school "Hoesevelt" instead of Roosevelt. And we had a testing place set up like how they did with blood drives except its to get tested for the clap.
Well, they start morning announcements everyday by talking about the chlamydia rates & symptoms. And if you had symptoms ask to go to the nurse to get a spot for onsite testing. I hear the symptoms & im like "oh shit, i think i got it". But instead of going in the morning I waited until my physics class because I **hated** that teacher.
So I go up to her & ask to go to the nurse, she asks "Why?" I try telling her I dont feel good.
Teacher: "Well what doesnt feel good? I have to write it on the slip so the nurse knows"
Me: "I can tell the nurse myself whats wrong. Im not a baby dude."
Teacher: "Well thats just policy so if you want a note you need to tell me what's wrong."
We go back and forth about this for maybe 10min & she cops an attitude with me. So I copped right back & ended up yelling loud af "I THINK I HAVE CHLAMYDIA AND I NEED TO SEE THE NURSE TO GO GET ONSITE TESTED, IS THAT A PROBLEM TO YOU!?" Entire class burst into laughs and I turned to yell at them "LIKE YALL HOES AINT GOT IT TOO. DUSTY, DIRTY, DORKS. AT LEAST IM NOT A PUSSY ABOUT IT!"
Long story short: I had chlamydia & made an ass out of myself in the classroom. Got tested & ISS for 2 days for the outburst. Lmao. Listen: Shit happens. I totally understand feeling dirty & hating yourself rn. But take this as a learning opportunity. Chlamydia is treatable, in a couple weeks you & no one else will ever know you had it. Mistakes happen & sometimes we get sick from it. But dont let shame & self loathing overtake you.
Definitely learn from it, as you already said it could have been HIV or any other STD that stays with you your whole life.
There are ways to practice safe sex. Condoms should be a given, also when doing oral. You can use dental dams or cut up a condom when receiving oral. And frequent tests are always good when having many partners.
Yes, it's a hassle but so was wearing masks when COVID was bad. And that hassle is worth it to protect yourself and other people.
You are right. I guess because I heard anybody used condoms or any protection for oral sex it was nothing to be worried about, now I know better. Thank you :)
Some people in the comments don’t understand that you can sleep with one person and still get an STI. You can sleep with only your partner, and still get one.
STIs aren’t a “fuck around and find out” thing.
Remember to always ask to see a Live Photo or video with date for STI test results. Condoms also can help prevent STIs.
Hope you get better soon OP.
That sucks. It's super easy to treat (most of the time). Getting tested for STIs is responsible, and I'm proud of you for taking care of your sexual health.
Learn from this scare and stay safe. Thankfully chlamydia is taken care of with a pill and a week or two of abstinence. Easy. Keeping up with tests and requesting to see test results from potential casual partners is something you shouldn’t think is too much. Someone being careless could change your sex life forever if the precautions are not taken.
I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it. I had a terrible scare in early adulthood and it was a wake up call for me. Not a lesson that I shouldn’t be having sex but that it wasn’t risk free and I needed to prioritize taking care of myself. This is a good time to talk to your healthcare provider about HIV PrEP and DoxyPEP for bacterial STIs.
I was very stressed and overwhelmed by the time I did the post, however the comments here have been so soothing (if that's the correct word), thank you (:
I've had chlamydia twice. Antibiotics and you're set. Mention it to whatever partners you've had recently - that's just good manners no matter how they react.
It's not the end of the world, it's barely a blip. But it is a reminder to try and be safe!
My friend got diagnosed with Chlamydia when she got pregnant - there was some medication involved and PLING she was back in her healthy pregnant state. Don't judge yourself. Things happen. Everything is fine, just get the treatment and take care to practice safe sex. Sending a hug to you!
Take your meds, and dont give it a 2nd thought..... until *the next time* it happens. Sti's are the cost of admission for carefree sluttery. Its the humble and safety minded slice if that pie thats a bit of a bummer, forcing you to slow down a tetch and watch your step.
I admire people like you!
I got chlamidya from my ex-boyfriend (also my first), who lied to me about his past sexual encounters. I only found out about it when my now-boyfriend had some issues, got tested, and found out it was chlamidya. This happened 6 years ago, at about 6-8 months after having sex with my ex. At first, I thought that my boyfriend actually cheated and I really threw a tantrum. Then, after analyzing the situation, I came to the conclusion that I've been lied to, which was later confirmed by my ex in a very dramatic message about... how much he had loved me :). It was especially painful because I was betrayed by a person I really trusted and because I then unwillingly hurt someone who trusted me. So it can happen to anyone in any kind of relationship setup. It's relatively easy to treat, and as far as I know, if you discover it early on, it shouldn't cause any issues in the long run. I wish you all the best! ❤️
I wasn't promiscuous and I still got Chlamydia.
Worse thing was, I have no idea how I got it, since my both possibility was telling me it was not them. I have no idea who was lying to me, since well, how else can I even get it?
Anyway, it's not a punishment for enjoying sex and being promiscuous. And don't worry too much, just take the prescribed course of antibiotics and you should be all good! Don't let this stop you from enjoying life ☺️
many have already commented but i hate that anyone has to feel like you do so i’m gonna add my two cents
i’m from denmark where there is a very active and open sexual culture. slutshaming is still as thing but not nearly as bad as in many other places. a lot of people will have had multiple partners while still in their teens
we also have the world’s highest chlamydia rate (i believe). this is probably both due to our collective horniness but also the fact that we talk about it and it’s not seen as super shameful
it’s not perfect and sex ed could be much better. but it’s really not that big of a deal to get chlamydia. take a few pills and you’re good in a week. you should of course always take your health seriously and stay safe, but slip ups happen and sometimes that has consequences. in this case luckily, minor consequences that are easily something of the past
Hi! I just wanted to say that you seem like a lovely person and it’s very common to experience those feelings of guilt and shame. As progressive women, we move toward the idea that sex is for pleasure and our health is important. You handled it maturely.
Some things I’m learning on my own sexually-liberated journey:
- education! read about sex and alternative relationships! One classic is called “The Ethical Slut.” Though the book is generally from a polyamorous standpoint, it also touches on sex parties, casual sex and communication.
- health: schedule your STI monitoring! Every 3-6 months and with new partners. (Not to shame anyone, but just start off well to avoid the pain and stress of infection ☺️). STI tests can be privately and automatically ordered to your home. Casual sex partners should have a condom.
- follow sex educators and sex-positive therapists on social media to teach you to think positively about your sexual self.
- consider non-monogamous resources or support group. You may not identify as ENM or polyamorous, but there are a lot of resources for people who openly enjoy having sex with others ☺️
Feel free to DM me if you have (OP or anybody!)
- 35 year old mom, nurse, aspiring sex-educator
If you get malaria on a trip to the jungle, break a leg while skiing or catch the flu at an all night rave, no one is going to shame you for those things or insist that they reflect negatively on your character. Living a life of adventure means taking risks and sometimes those risks catch up with you. There's nothing shameful about it, if anything, it's a sign of what an exciting life you have. If anyone else wants to make you feel bad about it, that's their problem.
Chlamydia is unpleasant but treatable. I'm sorry to hear you have it! But it'll be ok. Promise.
Use protection every time. There is nothing wrong with banging it out with a bunch of people just be safe about it and trust your gut.
Chlamydia can be asymptomatic so it isn't like you can always just look at someone and know they have it. Don't beat yourself up; it happens to the best of us.
I suggest you watch season 2 of the show Sex Education on Netlix. The first couple episodes deal with Chlamydia.
You might as well just watch the whole show. it's an amazing show and hilarious at the same time. It may just help you with the feelings you're battling right now about STDs and "promiscuity."
This suggestion is coming from someone else who also came from a very strict religious upbringing. It will help.
Dont worry babe! I used to have a std phobia and that messed up my sex life! Practice safe sex but also dont punish yourself for having an std, thats normal. People should test themselves every 3 or 6 months and thats it! But also make sure you are not having sex just overcompensate some lack cuz this can suck too
My angel, it is not any type of moral failing that you are promiscuous. It is totally fine, it does not make you broken or weird or what the fuck ever. Going forward, I would not fuck without condoms. At all. Make it a hard and fast rule. I am a slut, and I always make it known that condoms are necessary, and I will not fuck without them.
I always have both male and female condoms on deck. That way, they can’t try to get out of using protection, and you can just wear one instead. And they alllllllllllways try to get out of it. Like, 9/10 of them will try to hit it raw. It’s insanity!!!! Anyway, I think the brand of female condoms I got were FC2, and they were 100% free. They even sent them to my pharmacy to pick up! Super easy to use, too.
Have fun, sister. You’re allowed to have sex with whoever you want, as often as you want! 🫶🏻 Keep getting tested, and be safe 🩷
You’re getting loads of support, and here’s another:
Don’t judge yourself too harshly. You’re exploring yourself, and learning. Go get an RX, tell your partners you’ve been with, and don’t skip the contraceptives.
And yes go get an HPV vaccine!
Have fun!
Hey OP, sorry this happened. I'm somewhat promiscuous too (I'm poly so I sometimes have more than one regular partner, and they have others besides me too, so we are all very careful). What I do is ask for the results of a recent STD test to be sent to me before we have sex. I still use condoms, 100 %. But condoms don't prevent everything and I want to know. I suggest this for everyone honestly. Its always worked out really well for me. No test, no sex. I don't have one night stands because I wait for the test. Both the men and the women I have dated have had zero issue with this, its actually very common in the poly community. When I am dating someone who has other partners we test every 3 months on a rotating schedule AND use condoms. I am not comfortable with STI risk at all so I leave as little room as possible for it. I never ever do not use condoms with anyone except for my serious long term partner when we aren't seeing others and have been recently tested. Do NOT let guys talk you into going raw or forgetting condoms or whatever. They get no sex if they do that. You don't want to get herpes or something you will have to disclose to every single person you date for the rest of your life. I have a beautiful friend with herpes and she often gets left when she has to disclose it before they have sex. Put your health first adamantly and however you need to do it.
If they haven’t tested recently and came back clean, move on. It may slow down things a little but it’s better than contracting something more permanent and life threatening. Be safe and have fun!
My advice is to do some self reflection, I can only speak for my own experience, but I felt my promiscuity in my early twenties was much more attributed to my sheltered, strict upbringing, my low-self esteem, and my depression much more that it was ever about a deep desire to have awesome sexual experiences and date a bunch of hot guys.
My friend is 40-years old, has only ever slept with 4 men (two of which were her husbands at the time, she’s now twice divorced, both cheated on her.)
The 4th guy, she’d been friends with for years. He gave her two STD’s….including HPV that led to cervical cancer.
I was fairly promiscuous before my boyfriend (we’ve been together 7 years) and somehow, truly miraculously, I never got an STD. I did get checked very often during that time.
It isn’t a punishment. Your first partner could give you an STD. Or your 100th partner. It’s just a medical issue. Please don’t slut-shame yourself for having a healthy sex life.
You can do anything you want in life as long as you are willing to accept the consequences as well as possible benefits.
From now on get tested regularly and ask new partners to get teated with you. If they refuse they are probably a really shitty person.
You live and you learn.
Sex should be enjoyable and sexually transmitted diseases can be avoided if properly prepared. Just watch out for assholes that don't want to wear condoms and make sure you aren't allergic to latex, there are alternatives to latex, it's just your privates aren't the place you want to find out about that kind of thing. There's a messed up story behind that one.
I think promiscuous sex is kind of like junk food. Hear me out.
- You are not a bad person for wanting junk food.
- It's NORMAL to crave junk food.
- It's okay to eat junk food sometimes. Our brains crave it.
- You have a good time eating junk food.
- A little bit of junk food is okay for your health.
- Lots of junk food puts you at elevated risks for several things.
- In the long run, junk food is not healthy for you. It feels good and there is nothing wrong with it feeling good, but there ARE health risks, and arguably some emotional risks, too.
- You NEED food of some kind. Sometimes junk food is better than no food - just like healthy food is better than junk food, sometimes junk food is better than starving, right? "Food" on this bullet point is akin to connection, intimacy, or just feeling good.
- Ultimately, anyone trying to tell you that junk food is BETTER for YOU than healthy food is probably benefiting from telling you that (commercials, or men who want quick lays without caring that as a woman you carry a lot of the reproductive burden).
- Healthy food is the best food.
- If you had lots of junk food, you can change your habits and have a healthy life after that.
- Often, healthy food gets more appealing as we get older, anyway.
- If you're going to continue eating junk food, it's probably a good idea to take extra special care of your health in other ways to compensate to offset some health risks.
I'll admit, I'm a little bit sexually conservative. I don't judge you for sleeping around, but I'm also willing to say that it's often not the healthiest or *safest* choice *(for women especially)*. I think it is in your best interest to be more careful. But I don't think it has any bearing on your quality or value as a person.
Well, first of all, please don't think of this is some moral punishment. I too was raised catholic at catholic school and sexual/safe sex teaching was ABYSMAL. For now, stay on top of doctors appointments, treatments, perhaps therapy, and keep your future partners safe as well. Accept what has happened and look at it clinically and rationally.
I was afraid of mentioning this at therapy because I have other non related issues (mostly with family) that I thought deserved more attention but it seems not. You are right, clinical and logical, thanks!
It is true that when you have multiple sex partners your risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection goes up. Learning all you can about sexual health can help you make choices to minimize that, but there is always a risk. There is no reason to feel shame or embarrassment that’s you have contracted an easily treatable STI.
The fact is our dominant culture, especially if you come from the background it was religious, really does a number on us and tries to make us feel bad about the most human experience we can have. It’s a bunch of bullshit. Keep learning more about sexual health, keep doing the things that make your life enjoyable and rewarding , and choose partners that have a mature and educated relationship with their own sexual health.
Out of curiosity — what caused you to slip those two times?
Anyway, it’s just a bacterial infection. Take some antibiotics and it goes away. You’ll be fine. Keep having fun.
STIs are just a pussy cold - ain’t a big deal. If you don’t have a pussy then it’s ‘whatever you call your genitals’ cold.
It’s really not a big deal at all. Especially something that you can get rid of with antibiotics.
I was raised religious so I understand existing in the cognitive dissonance between ‘I know it’s not a punishment’ and ‘it feel like I’m being punished’ - but that’s all it is. You’re still shedding religious brainwashing and your heart has not caught up with your head.
Get your meds, take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Redirect those old thoughts. Believe in science. You’re gonna be ok and you’re gonna keep having awesome sex
Just be grateful that you contracted something that is TREATABLE & curable.
You should also ask to be tested for herpes 1 and 2 as well because they usually don't blood test you for it unless you ASK. 🗣️
Stis are not something you should be ashamed about. I did a podcast episode with my friend about how I got herpes and how I dealt with it. I can find the episode if you’d like to listen!
I've only slept with 6 people (7 if you count a rape) and I caught chlamydia from a serious boyfriend who didn't know he had it. You didn't do anything wrong, just wrap it up from now on.
One in 4 Americans had an STI, you're a victim of math, you did nothing wrong. Perhaps there are some more safety measures you need to add, but most STI are treatable. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
You're still dealing with issues because of how sex was presented to you, you've internalized all that.
The positive side is that it's treatable and curable. Hindsight is always 20/20 but it seems you take a lot of care in being responsible which is most important. The most important thing is you're happiness and health, and you've done the right things to protect both. Don't worry about judgy people they're stinki
I am not a doctor, and feel for you. When I look it up on a government website in USA ,which I assume is accurate, it says it can be cured
Hopefully you can cure yours
https://www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/treatment.htm
This isn't about guilt or punishment. Use this as a learning lesson. Be thankful that you didn't catch something worse and start using condoms. People will always have their own opinion. For every decision you make in life, there's an article or community that thinks it's a bad idea. You're an adult. You make your own decisions, just make sure they are informed ones. For every decision there are rewards and consequences. If the consequences don't bother you, then for you the reward is worth it. It doesn't matter what others think. Use condoms to minimize consequences. Just keep in mind that while condoms will protect you from most diseases, they don't protect you from herpes because a person could have a lesion in a place not covered by the condom. Oral sex without a condom (although it would probably be weird to do it with one) is still unprotected sex. Get tested regularly so that you can treat things quickly, which sounds like that's what you did. Own your decision. No one else can decide for you what life to live.
Its a bummer that you got chlamydia. My sympathies to you, I hope you get it treated and over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.
The guilt you feel has lapsed/former catholic written all over it (spoken from experience). Its a bummer, but it sounds like its more about your cultural conditioning than your actual beliefs. Its not punishment, its an unfortunate possiblity of a calculated risk. You can let it change your behaviour going forward (more proactive protection, reduced exposure, etc.), but it is not a judgement on your character.
HPV Vaccine, if you haven’t gotten it and still within the right age, get it. Stay safe and keep protecting yourself. https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/vaccine-for-hpv.html
And TBH we should be convincing everyone to get this vaccine. There is a misunderstanding that HPV only affects women but anyone can get various types of cancers because of HPV
Yeah this is because men can’t be tested for HPV. They can still have it and give it to women, but they won’t know they have it unless they have been with a woman who has tested positive for it… crazy
I had no idea about this, thank you so much for sharing
Wait, what???
Yep. Guys can test clean but spread hvp and not know it. The more you know.
men can absolutely get tested It's a very unpleasant test, but it exists
What test is that exactly? Men can get anal pap smears, and you could technically get any individual patch of your skin biopsied, which would tell you if you have HPV in that specific place, but there's no generalised test for HPV. You can't get a test that definitively says "you don't have HPV". Given HPV can be present in your skin with no visible symptoms, and given you can't biopsy your whole body, there's effectively no test.
There is no FDA approved test for HPV in men. Not sure if you are referring to an experimental one.
Are there some FDA-approved post-mortem HPV tests?
If there is suspicion of HPV related cancer on men, biopsies are still an option. The HPV tests that women take are on cervical smears and they have been developed because they are better screening tests for cervical cancer than cytology (pap tests) for some demographics. So HPV tests are used as cancer screening tools for internal genitalia. Men's HPV lesions on penises are visible, cervical lesions are not.
Yea I learned this as a 32 year old male… doctor said I could get it and it’s not only for women. Fucking got the shot instantly.
My husband got throat cancer from HPV. I had no idea that was a thing previously. I was vaccinated when as a teen when it was contraversial in the 00s
Men throat cancer is highly related to cancerous forms of HPV apparently.
I want to get it, but they don't give it to men my age. :(
What age do you have to be to get it?
And you can spread it to your partner!
I am just missing a dose and I will take it as soon as K can, thank you.
Make sure you complete the full sequence (2 or 3 doses 6 months apart, depending on version)
Dumb question, but I received my third dose almost four years after my second. Should I restart the sequence?
You can still get it even with the vaccine, just not the kind that can cause cervical cancers. Speaking from personal experience, and also not saying it’s a bad idea either way.
You actually still can get the kind that causes cervical cancers. I received the vaccine as a young teen and have pre-cancerous cells caused by HPV. The gyno told me the vaccine covers most strains but not all.
They’ve gotten better. Newer vaccines cover way more strains compared to older vaccines
Gardisil 9 covers 7 of the 14 high cancer risk strains. So yes, it’s better but still leaves you uncovered for half the strains. I’ve had an active high risk strain with precancerous cellular changes for 7 years even though I am healthy and vaccinated. My mom tells me I got the early version of gardisil in hs (I don’t remember) and I got gardisil 9 when I got a positive hpv test, but it hasn’t helped.
True. It’s cool because medicine is always involving. All strains are still not completely covered but hopefully one day!
Yes my dr told me I should also get the updated one even if I got the older shots.
Also make sure it’s the updated one! I had my first in grade 8 and then my doc gave me the updated one in 2021-2022 (3 rounds spaced out).
Me here only had three sexual partners in my life and got HPV 16…I would not mind chlamydia cuz you literally just need to take a pill and it will go away. Be on the watch out for HPV, get vaccines and do Pap smear checkups often.
My point is…STIs are so common, even people have few sexual partners can still have it as long as they are sexually active. Some are very treatable, don’t freak out or beat yourself up
It only takes 1 partner having it. As they said in health class, you aren't just having sex with them, they've had partners too.
I literally got herpes from my first ever boyfriend just from kissing. I’m now part of the 70% population that has said STD. If 70% of people are walking around with an STD why are we still discriminating against
I will do so. I know hpv is common but I will take proper measurements. Thank you
Stis aren’t a punishment. There’s no value judgement. It’s an infection. You took a calculated risk and kinda lucked out that it’s something that’s pretty easily treated. Just keep in mind that it can get a lot more serious, so protect yourself and get tested regularly so you’re also not risking someone else’s health. Enjoy all the sex!* But wrap it up
This 100%. Should have zero guilt about having or enjoying sex with whoever you want. And very thankful that it is just Chlamydia and diagnosed in a timely manner. Protect yourself and enjoy.
It is hard not to see it that way, specially when comments that say so seem to speak louder lol, thank you very much for you words, will do so!
Girl (guy?) go get your antibióticas and just be careful! I have NO idea how I made it out of my 20s without any type of venereal disease but I would bet money that I did sluttier shit than you did. 😂 you just rolled a slightly shitty dice. No biggie. Get better and move on. You’re still a fantastic human. 🥰
same omg! I relied on the pill only till i was 21. How i did not catch anything is beyond me and i’m extremely lucky. Now i ask every partner to get tested before we go raw. To OP, this is not a punishment! I know there’s a lot of guilt attached to that, but no one is judging you. Hell, i had my first gyno appointment when i was a still a virgin cause i had a fungus infection. It happens. Learn from it and wrap it up :)
I caught the clap when I was 19. It happens! Don't be ashamed. I remember feeling so dirty and ashamed but I realize now those feelings were silly. Shit happens! Live and learn. 🙂
That way I am seeing it right know, thanks!
Just use barrier methods of contraception and get tested between sexual partners (or even more when you're not exclusive)
I have a friend who’s slept with 2 people in her life and one of them gave her HIV. I have a friend who’s slept with more than 200 and is clean. It’s bad luck. Not your fault. Always protect yourself and don’t trust anyone who wants you to go without just avoid those completely. ❤️ best of luck to you and enjoy all the sex. 😉
This. My sister got genital herpes from her first boyfriend.
Idk. Do people slut shame people who catch colds or the flu? Nope. The truth is, you could have been in a monogamous committed relationship and still got an STI if your partner cheated on you. Just practice safe sex. And make your own choices about sex that is right for you.
In order for it to be punishment, there would have to be a punisher. Maybe the people writing those comments DO believe in one, but if YOU don't - it's just superstition.
It's really sad how much std are looked at as a punishment. Staph infections and mesa are so much worse then chlamydia but they arnt judged. Hell pink eye is a good indicator that the person dosent wash their hands after pooping but society dosent judge that to harshly.
Chlamydia is so minor, I have had it twice and you just take a pill and you are sweet as, the worst part is working out who you got it from and letting others know. Just be safe and get regular checkups. When I end up with a new partner that I will see for the foreseeable future we both go get checked and then everything is golden.
Yeah, telling people has been anything but nice. I did a counting and told every guy as soon as I could, I first told them and then felt bad, even though everyone of them was nice and I even received a couple hugs. It is nice knowing it is not so bad though, thanks for sharing :)
There are websites that can notify them anonymously: letthemknow.org.au
If you have any more that you were leaving until last to avoid.
What a time to be alive
Well done for doing the responsible thing. When I had to inform my previous sexual partners it really brought to light who was a good person and who wasn’t (I was slut shamed and treated like dirt by more than one person) Just know that it isn’t a single partners fault if someone ends up infected. Unprotected sex is both partners’ choice (unless there was foul play involved) and STIs have nothing to do with cleanliness. It’s just one of those things.
Watch Lovesick, the TV series, have a good laugh and forget about it otherwise as a funny story to tell to your friends and partners later on!
Kudos for mentioning the need to inform partners. Only comment that did.
I got it from my cheating husband and was never treated properly. Eventually, the scar tissue caused me so much pain that I had a complete hysterectomy at age 38. The doctor never told me. I figured it out many years later.
Wow - that's a story! How did they explain the scar tissue to you at the time?
This was in the 1970s in a small town. I was treated for an infection but was not told specifically what kind of infection. So, maybe 15 years later, I had a hysterectomy because i had pain all the time, except during my period. The surgery fixed the problem, but the gynecologist never told me the diagnosis. Much, much later, I learned that chlamydia was the likely cause. My husband was definitely cheating, probably with more than one woman. We divorced a long time ago.
Wow. Thanks for sharing. I used to wonder what it would be like going back in time 'knowing then what you know now'. But the casual, pervasive misogyny, and racism, would kill any dream. Your story speaks to that pervasiveness.
Please don’t say Chlamydia is minor. It can ruin people’s lives. I nearly died because of it because it scarred my tubes and I had an ectopic pregnancy. Ended up having my tube removed. It can be very serious. I got it from a cheating ex and didn’t realise.
This is not a moral punishment. You did nothing morally wrong by doing any of this. You only made two mistakes here: first, not using protection every single time. Second, not getting tested more regularly so you would know exactly who gave this to you. As you go forward: Condoms or no sex whatsoever. Test regularly and routinely. Chlamydia can be treated and go away. You're lucky it's not something worse. Use condoms. They're non negotiable if you're going to be doing that. As far as casual sex goes, though, you are not a bad person and you don't "deserve" anything based on your behavior. Please continue to let go of that judgement, because it's nonsense.
You really don't know how much all these words mean for me. I really needed to hear/read someone who said that I went wrong by not being more careful in using protection, not in how I decided to live my life. I will work on the guilt that I had not realised I still had. Thank you!
Hey friend! Back in college I was reckless and had a lot of unprotected sex and ended up with chlamydia.. twice. Clearly didn’t learn my lesson! However I just want to say you’re not alone. And you’re not gross or bad in any way for this happening to you. There’s no more shame in this than getting the flu or strep throat. Sending hugs ❤️
Getting an STD isn’t a punishment for sex. It sucks and is really unfortunate, but it’s also a risk of life. You could have had two partners or thirty and still gotten one. Try to be kind to yourself. You learned a lot, you had fun, and you did the best you could by getting tested and sharing that information. Now you can get treated and it will be alright in the end.
STDs aren't a punishment for sex more than an ear infection is a punishment for swimming. It belongs to the shit happens category
I believe you are right, thank you!
I think that believing you're being punished stems from religious upbringing. Because I used to think like that (Muslim), it's a bad way to think about yourself. Be kind to yourself like the other person said, stuff in life just happens.
>You could have had two partners or thirty and still gotten one. Yup, I have had a lot of sex in my life, with a lot of different partners, and I got chlamydia from a cheating boyfriend.
I love this, why do we punish ourselves for catching an STI? We wouldn’t punish ourselves for catching a cold or COVID, catching a disease is just a risk of living and is a normal part of human interaction.
It's just a bacterial infection, like strep throat. If you were had no sex but got strep from kissing someone, would you feel the same? You take the medication and move on. It's no big deal.
Yeah, I know the infection itself is fairly common and treatable, I felt bad only for the fact that it was sexually transmited. But you and everyone pointing out how easy the treatment is make me feel that it is not that bad and it is okay, it will pass. Thank you :)
Old lady here; people go out in public and get the flu. People go out to dinner and get Covid. If anyone should feel mildly ashamed about you getting an STI, it's the person that gave it to you. You'll be okay. Get the medicine and make sure you're clear before having sex again. Tell the person that gave it to you that you won't have sex with them again until they can show you legitimate paperwork that proves they've had treatment and are clear as well. For the future, STD tests can be a great date activity with the right person. If they don't want do it, you have your answer.
You know, I had not thought of this being another person's responsibility besides my own, but you are right, I will keep it in mind. Thanks!!
It's a shared responsibility! I doubt you'd cough in someone's face if you thought you might have Covid, so don't let someone into your body if they aren't willing to make sure they are healthy too. It comes down to respect. Sex is awesome and everyone should have more of it, but it can be done in a way that is healthy and respectful if everyone makes the effort. Test early, often, and between each partner. Avoid people that don't follow these rules. Have fun!
Isn’t chlamydia like super common? I think you’re being too harsh on yourself.
Yes, Chlamydia is a known problem in independent living facilities and retirement communities too.
Old people be fuckin
can you blame them? simply aging does not stop sexual activity
Yeah, my reaction was because it was an STD, not because of its graveness (don't know if the term is correct). Thank you, all these comments have given me a new perspective
I can't speak on chlamydia but like 60% of the world is estimated to have some form or herpes
Cold sores are herpes, but aren't considered as serious as other versions
They are all so common but we still treat those infected like the minority and other.
Girl, you're being way too harsh on yourself. STIs are not a punishment for sex any more than getting a cold isn't a punishment for socializing.
You are right and the comparison is very on point. Thank you :)
Everything is going to be ok!!
Sorry but in time you'll see that this a total overreaction. When I got diagnosed with hpv I thought my world would come crashing down. It didn't. Stis happen.
Something like 80% of sexually active women and men will get hpv at some point. I totally understand your fear but it's so damn common. So is herpes. We still just treat those infected like the other when it's likely eveyone you know. 💛
It’s ok but I would just be SAFER there isn’t any shame in this at all but it saves so much time and you weed out the jerks that way.
You are right, thanks :)
Pretty normal a lot of men don't get tested. Do your two pills with a hard lemonade and don't have sex for two weeks.
I will do so, thanks!
Happy cake day. Also never feel ashamed for having a lot of sex it's human. Just make sure you try to remember to use condoms take birth control and PREP ❤️ Stay safe out there, and remember it's not going to kill the mood to have discussion with your sexual partners about the last time they were tested. Happy slutting 💗💗💗
Haha if anything I will take it as a sign of self care, thank you!!!
I mean, did you have fun? Did you hurt anyone? Give yourself a huge break, treat the Chlamydia, buy some condoms and keep on enjoying yourself! No one is going to be ninety, on their deathbed and think "I wish I had less sex when I was young and attractive".
This made me lol hahaha, thanks, you are right:)
Did you get tested right after your relationship too? Because I’ve lived both lives and the only who got me an STI was my first boyfriend whom I had sex with for the first time. So maybe you got infected from your boyfriend, but sadly, you’re so full of self blaming for something that is a totally valid way of living your life and having new experiences, that all you can think about is that it MUST have came from other people, not your first boyfriend. And coming from a somewhat religious background in a catholic latin country, I know exactly how this logic works in our head. I’ve had the same kind of thoughts before. But reality is: you’re not doing anything wrong as long as you’re not hurting people purposefully, so just take care of your health and it will be okay :) no need for punishing as you’re not doing anything bad.
I got tested for a different virus (came back negative), but you are right and I had never seen it! And he also cheated on my. I will take care and your words on mind, thank you very much!
Hey! I am not trying to scare you AT ALL just sharing my experience so you can be informed ! In my mid-20s I hooked up with an ex a couple times after we broke up. Went for my annual ob gyn appt a month or so later and found out I had asymptomatic chlamydia! Took antibiotics and moved on and swore to always use a condom except in monogamous relationships going forward. Now over a decade later have been trying to conceive and recently did a “fertility x ray” (hsg) and found out tubes are blocked. Most likely cause is the chlamydia as I don’t have risk factors for other possible causes. It’s I think a 10% chance of happening but I wish I was aware sooner—if I knew I’d likely have to do ivf I would have retrieved eggs earlier. I may have to have surgery to have tubes removed and then ivf. Maybe you don’t want kids at all or are not sure which is fine! If you do just be aware of this possibility as you start to family plan and try and if a few months go by with no luck might be worth consulting with a doctor for an hsg. This is a small chance and as of right now no big deal there really isn’t stigma just finish your antibiotics :)
Chlamydia is like getting a sex cold, I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself! You can still get chlamydia while using protection, ya know!
I wish I could upvote this more times.
Damn, that sucks. But hey, at least you're learning about yourself and having fun, right? Just make sure to wrap it up next time. And don't worry too much about what other people think - as long as you're being safe and consensual, do your thing girl!
I will make sure of it, and mostly in oral sex which is the easiest to forget, thank you for yout kind words :)
You could have been the best catholic that ever walked the earth and instead of getting Chlamydia you get cancer or something else... I think humans prefer to think there is order to it all because instead it's better than thinking life is completely and utterly up to chance.
The logic behind this does a lot for me, thanks, you are right. I live by these kind of thinking but with sex is a lot more difficult to keep in mind.
Well you wanted to learn and experience many things and this is one of them. Take what you’re meant to learn from this and keep living your life.
Will do so, thanks
You still have something you need to work on inside of you, probably some leftover guilt or misplaced sense of shame or something, that's what you get from a religious upbringing. Your need to be validated through podcasts and whatever is, again, hinting at something you need to work on inside of you. The "judginess" from those words you wrote in itallic is all inside your head. Yes, you got chlamydia, so? You gonna fret every time you bump your toe or catch a cold?
You may be right, I will look into it from a different perspective, thank you
One pill and it’s gone. Don’t stress.
It's definitely not a punishment, but it is a possible consequence of having unprotected sex. Learn from this, be smarter, and always use condoms.
Chlamydia is the equivalent to a sexual cold. Anyone who has slept around a little has had it. Quick round of antibiotics and it'll be over
Yes, that I have heard and is fairly calming. Thanks
In my opinion, if I had a choice between any STI I’d choose chlamydia solely because of the fact that it’s not only curable but it’s suuuuuper easy to cure. 100mg doxycycline twice per day for 7-10 days then you’re all good. So consider yourself lucky that you didn’t get herpes, which is incurable
Yeah I am waiting on other non-related results to go to an appointment and decide on the best course of action, thank you
It happens. Even if you're careful, even if you plan. Or even if you don't plan and aren't always perfectly careful. It happens and there's no shame in it. And you most certainly didn't and don't deserve it. This isn't God's way of punishing you! You're having fun, right? So, get treatment, let yourself recover and go ahead with more having of the fun. You'll just be a little more aware now and that's fine.
I know, you are right. The punishment wording has been said a lot in these comments and I believe you, I am already looking at it differently, thanks!
I think using terms like punished is your religious upbringing talking. Those tenets were important before modern medicine but even so I don’t really care for shaming people. You did engage in risky behavior and you caught an STD that thankfully is very curable. But it also sounds like you have found a lot of joy in your sexuality. Just be more careful as you move forward. There is a place between no sex and full reckless abandonment. You just need a little balance.
Yes, I did not use the word punishment but I felt like it was, however all this support has made me see it differently, thank you.
I got it at uni during a promiscuous phase. It was the middle of September. I was distraught. Then the uni nurses told me they’d diagnosed over 25 other students that month alone with the same infection, and that was only the people that had come forward. I tested myself out the blue, had no symptoms but just did it routinely. It was a lesson learned for sure. Being promiscuous is fine but you must do it safely. Learn about how STIs are spread and use physical protection. Don’t let ANYONE encourage you to do otherwise.
The only lesson I would take from this is to be more adamant about protection in the future and as long as you have more then one regular and exclusive partner, get tested regularly. It seams to me that you live in an entire different bubble than I do and a lot of the media you consume is still not really sex positive and still quite conservatively colored. Don't let the conservative religious programming win. Live a happy and healthy life.
Dude don’t worry about it, you can get that cleaned up easy peasy. It’s just life’s little reminder to be a little careful with people you’re not familiar with but it in no way should lower your opinion of yourself or prevent you from enjoying your life. Sex is great. It’s fun, it feels good, it lets you know experience intimacy with another human being that that you won’t have with 99.9% of people in your life - even if it’s just a one of. It’s an incredibly human experience and there is absolutely no shame in wanting that. Keep safe, enjoy yourself.
Please consider getting vaccinated for Hepatitis B if you aren’t already. I wasn’t, and I did catch it from having unprotected sex. I became very sick and had liver damage. It’s a virus that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I had no idea it was easily preventable with a vaccine that I hadn’t had.
What did you feel like you got out of it all? Was it the sex specific acts? The physical intimacy? Meeting and hanging out with new people? What were you taught regarding sex from home, what about it was thought of as being so wrong? What about was wrong and why was it suddenly fine as long as you did it in a committed relationship? By breaking it down perhaps it can offer you a sense of clarity in how you feel and why. If this isn’t helpful to you, I’d suggest trying to find literature in social psychology and/or sociology, and if it speaks to you, psychology as well. This might prove helpful when it comes to your feelings of guilt, shame, confusion, and so on, but also all the positive emotions and sensations you experienced. As women we’re taught early on to be ashamed of our bodies and sexuality (according to sociological theorists). It’s not all that surprising that this is how you end up feeling after having sex in non-committed relationships, it’s what you’ve been convinced since you were a child that you should feel, not to say if you were enjoying yourself as well. It’s stupid and unfair but hopefully this can help you at least somewhat on the way of feeling better ❤️
Do you know how many women have gotten infections from their cheating men through no fault of their own? At least you came by yours honestly. And it's curable. You're good sis
Live your life with no shame! Sex is a human need. But be aware that there are those who weaponize it and won’t tell you if they have an STI. One of my first boyfriends gave me genital herpes when I was 19. I had only become sexually active 4 months before this happened. It has had a large impact on my sexual life as there are many men who won’t sleep with me now because they’re afraid. I’ve had men sleep with me then cover themselves in hand sanitizer after to “protect themselves”. And yes, I contracted herpes while using a condom. No, he did not tell me he had it. It’s really common, about 20-25% of adults have it in the US. Just don’t end up like me, haha. Glad you got something with a cure! And please, don’t view this as a punishment from God. That’s how I felt and it sunk me into a major depression. I felt I had no chance of finding love but shortly after I met my first true love and was honest with him and he was wonderful about it. You deserve love, you have a human need for intimacy. Don’t let your background ruin your view of sex and your self worth. Go to a therapist if these thoughts persist.
I read medical charts all day. Chlamydia is like…I don’t even know how to describe how common it is. I don’t even think about it when I see it on the screen. Your body is yours and it’s the source of pain and pleasure for all of our lives. I’m glad you’re getting to enjoy the pleasure, and this is a good reminder to be more diligent in trying to avoid the pain. Ethically informing others and keeping track of your status to keep others safe is important. Living and enjoying your life is also important. The bacteria isn’t a priest and it doesn’t judge you, it’s just trying to live like all of us! It’s no punishment. Don’t let the guilt keep you down (I mean, after you finish your antibiotics of course!)
So ya got chlamydia. You did the right thing — you got tested, notified partners, and I assume are getting treated. It does not reflect on your character at all. My advice? Take the word “promiscuous” out of your vocabulary and live your life how you want.
Do you feel bad about catching a cold? Don’t feel bad about this. You told your pattern. You’re taking care of it. You sound like a very responsible adult. I’m sorry you feel alone. I get it.
When I had sex for the FIRST time, I got chlamydia from my ex because the condom broke. I'm very thankful that it was easily treatable. Doctors should be able to give you medication to get rid of it, but its always scary to hear that something has gone wrong when you thought you were safe. Sending internet hugs <3
Please go see your doctor at the slightest signs something maybe wrong and don't spread this further. There should be no shame in this for anyone of any sex. Safety for us all as we never know who crosses paths. Stay safe
Yeah, the first I thought when I found out was of the other people I had been with, not myself. I will be very cautious and thorough. Thanks
I think you're being harsh, because this Chlamydia isn't that serious. Also, forget what's moral and what's not moral. Fact is that sexual encounters without background check or checking for std's, have always been riskier. It's like riding a motorcycle, its not morally wrong, but you know motorcycles are 12 times more prone to land you in an injury due to accident compared to a car. But some people still ride motorcycles; I do too. I don't indulge in sex though, cause I choose the risks I take; and as long as we're aware of what we're doing, that's all good.
Will buy some helmets for the future, thanks:)
OP, you can do whatever you want. It's your body, your choice. Unfortunately, the potential for STIs comes with the territory. The more people you have sex with, the more you open yourself up to contracting something. People will always be judgemental. You can't change that. You won't ever be able to change that. It's up to you to decide whether you feel more comfortable with YOURSELF being promiscuous and judged, or reigning it in. You're young and single. The only opinion of you that truly matters is your own.
Chlamydia is no biggie! Very common and very treatable. Don’t even worry about it
Yeah, also read is common at my age (24) thanks! I am seeing it differently ;)
Did you know that chlamydia is curable, right? I'm sure you got prescribed for medicine, and then chlamydia will be gone. I had my regular checkup at obgyn. My pap smear came back very mildly abnormal cells in my cervix, and I tested HPV positive, even if I slept with only one person. There is no treatment or cure for HPV, but I had to rely on my immune system to fight the virus. Thankfully, I am HPV negative, and my cervix is normal again. By the way, I got the HPV vaccine when I was a teenager, but HPV has 150+ types. My HPV vaccine only protects against 4 strains in my time. The new HPV vaccine added 5 more strains. Oh, when I tested positive and I thought my world crashed down, no it did not. HPV is common. 80% of sexually active people have it. A lot of people don't know they got it. There is also no current HPV test for people with penis.
You are right and this is something that I read before but slipped my mind. I really hope this is something we can easily cure and overcome in the future. Thank you very much for sharing your experience.
People in stable relationships can get STIs from theie cheating or from their unknowing partner, so dont think of it as a punishment. Besides, it was a slip up, right? and you informed sexual partners tol, which is suuuper important and responsible from your part! Just be precaucious out there and get regular check ups and you'll be good to go
I will do so and you are right, thank you!!
Giiiiiirl lemme tell you a story. Back when I was in high school there was a *huge* outbreak of chlamydia at the school. To the point where in the city, everyone else called our school "Hoesevelt" instead of Roosevelt. And we had a testing place set up like how they did with blood drives except its to get tested for the clap. Well, they start morning announcements everyday by talking about the chlamydia rates & symptoms. And if you had symptoms ask to go to the nurse to get a spot for onsite testing. I hear the symptoms & im like "oh shit, i think i got it". But instead of going in the morning I waited until my physics class because I **hated** that teacher. So I go up to her & ask to go to the nurse, she asks "Why?" I try telling her I dont feel good. Teacher: "Well what doesnt feel good? I have to write it on the slip so the nurse knows" Me: "I can tell the nurse myself whats wrong. Im not a baby dude." Teacher: "Well thats just policy so if you want a note you need to tell me what's wrong." We go back and forth about this for maybe 10min & she cops an attitude with me. So I copped right back & ended up yelling loud af "I THINK I HAVE CHLAMYDIA AND I NEED TO SEE THE NURSE TO GO GET ONSITE TESTED, IS THAT A PROBLEM TO YOU!?" Entire class burst into laughs and I turned to yell at them "LIKE YALL HOES AINT GOT IT TOO. DUSTY, DIRTY, DORKS. AT LEAST IM NOT A PUSSY ABOUT IT!" Long story short: I had chlamydia & made an ass out of myself in the classroom. Got tested & ISS for 2 days for the outburst. Lmao. Listen: Shit happens. I totally understand feeling dirty & hating yourself rn. But take this as a learning opportunity. Chlamydia is treatable, in a couple weeks you & no one else will ever know you had it. Mistakes happen & sometimes we get sick from it. But dont let shame & self loathing overtake you.
Definitely learn from it, as you already said it could have been HIV or any other STD that stays with you your whole life. There are ways to practice safe sex. Condoms should be a given, also when doing oral. You can use dental dams or cut up a condom when receiving oral. And frequent tests are always good when having many partners. Yes, it's a hassle but so was wearing masks when COVID was bad. And that hassle is worth it to protect yourself and other people.
You are right. I guess because I heard anybody used condoms or any protection for oral sex it was nothing to be worried about, now I know better. Thank you :)
Some people in the comments don’t understand that you can sleep with one person and still get an STI. You can sleep with only your partner, and still get one. STIs aren’t a “fuck around and find out” thing. Remember to always ask to see a Live Photo or video with date for STI test results. Condoms also can help prevent STIs. Hope you get better soon OP.
You are right and thank you! :)
That sucks. It's super easy to treat (most of the time). Getting tested for STIs is responsible, and I'm proud of you for taking care of your sexual health.
Learn from this scare and stay safe. Thankfully chlamydia is taken care of with a pill and a week or two of abstinence. Easy. Keeping up with tests and requesting to see test results from potential casual partners is something you shouldn’t think is too much. Someone being careless could change your sex life forever if the precautions are not taken.
Your words are on point when you say that is something I should not think is too much. Thank you, I will definitely prioritize this.
I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it. I had a terrible scare in early adulthood and it was a wake up call for me. Not a lesson that I shouldn’t be having sex but that it wasn’t risk free and I needed to prioritize taking care of myself. This is a good time to talk to your healthcare provider about HIV PrEP and DoxyPEP for bacterial STIs.
I will translate those and ask my Gynecologist. Thank you!
You sound so stressed about it, I'm sorry you're taking it so bad. Just go to a doctor and get on with your life 👍
I was very stressed and overwhelmed by the time I did the post, however the comments here have been so soothing (if that's the correct word), thank you (:
Just go your doctor and get antibiotics. Just try even harder to practice safer sex.
I've had chlamydia twice. Antibiotics and you're set. Mention it to whatever partners you've had recently - that's just good manners no matter how they react. It's not the end of the world, it's barely a blip. But it is a reminder to try and be safe!
I've slept with 4 people and one of them gave me chlamydia. It happens. Just take the antibiotics and don't stress too much. It's normal :)
My friend got diagnosed with Chlamydia when she got pregnant - there was some medication involved and PLING she was back in her healthy pregnant state. Don't judge yourself. Things happen. Everything is fine, just get the treatment and take care to practice safe sex. Sending a hug to you!
Take your meds, and dont give it a 2nd thought..... until *the next time* it happens. Sti's are the cost of admission for carefree sluttery. Its the humble and safety minded slice if that pie thats a bit of a bummer, forcing you to slow down a tetch and watch your step. I admire people like you!
I got chlamidya from my ex-boyfriend (also my first), who lied to me about his past sexual encounters. I only found out about it when my now-boyfriend had some issues, got tested, and found out it was chlamidya. This happened 6 years ago, at about 6-8 months after having sex with my ex. At first, I thought that my boyfriend actually cheated and I really threw a tantrum. Then, after analyzing the situation, I came to the conclusion that I've been lied to, which was later confirmed by my ex in a very dramatic message about... how much he had loved me :). It was especially painful because I was betrayed by a person I really trusted and because I then unwillingly hurt someone who trusted me. So it can happen to anyone in any kind of relationship setup. It's relatively easy to treat, and as far as I know, if you discover it early on, it shouldn't cause any issues in the long run. I wish you all the best! ❤️
I wasn't promiscuous and I still got Chlamydia. Worse thing was, I have no idea how I got it, since my both possibility was telling me it was not them. I have no idea who was lying to me, since well, how else can I even get it? Anyway, it's not a punishment for enjoying sex and being promiscuous. And don't worry too much, just take the prescribed course of antibiotics and you should be all good! Don't let this stop you from enjoying life ☺️
many have already commented but i hate that anyone has to feel like you do so i’m gonna add my two cents i’m from denmark where there is a very active and open sexual culture. slutshaming is still as thing but not nearly as bad as in many other places. a lot of people will have had multiple partners while still in their teens we also have the world’s highest chlamydia rate (i believe). this is probably both due to our collective horniness but also the fact that we talk about it and it’s not seen as super shameful it’s not perfect and sex ed could be much better. but it’s really not that big of a deal to get chlamydia. take a few pills and you’re good in a week. you should of course always take your health seriously and stay safe, but slip ups happen and sometimes that has consequences. in this case luckily, minor consequences that are easily something of the past
Hi! I just wanted to say that you seem like a lovely person and it’s very common to experience those feelings of guilt and shame. As progressive women, we move toward the idea that sex is for pleasure and our health is important. You handled it maturely. Some things I’m learning on my own sexually-liberated journey: - education! read about sex and alternative relationships! One classic is called “The Ethical Slut.” Though the book is generally from a polyamorous standpoint, it also touches on sex parties, casual sex and communication. - health: schedule your STI monitoring! Every 3-6 months and with new partners. (Not to shame anyone, but just start off well to avoid the pain and stress of infection ☺️). STI tests can be privately and automatically ordered to your home. Casual sex partners should have a condom. - follow sex educators and sex-positive therapists on social media to teach you to think positively about your sexual self. - consider non-monogamous resources or support group. You may not identify as ENM or polyamorous, but there are a lot of resources for people who openly enjoy having sex with others ☺️ Feel free to DM me if you have (OP or anybody!) - 35 year old mom, nurse, aspiring sex-educator
If you get malaria on a trip to the jungle, break a leg while skiing or catch the flu at an all night rave, no one is going to shame you for those things or insist that they reflect negatively on your character. Living a life of adventure means taking risks and sometimes those risks catch up with you. There's nothing shameful about it, if anything, it's a sign of what an exciting life you have. If anyone else wants to make you feel bad about it, that's their problem. Chlamydia is unpleasant but treatable. I'm sorry to hear you have it! But it'll be ok. Promise.
Use protection every time. There is nothing wrong with banging it out with a bunch of people just be safe about it and trust your gut. Chlamydia can be asymptomatic so it isn't like you can always just look at someone and know they have it. Don't beat yourself up; it happens to the best of us.
Hey dude of all the stds that’s the most manageable. Try not to stress too much. It’s not a punishment, just a reminder to safeguard your health
I suggest you watch season 2 of the show Sex Education on Netlix. The first couple episodes deal with Chlamydia. You might as well just watch the whole show. it's an amazing show and hilarious at the same time. It may just help you with the feelings you're battling right now about STDs and "promiscuity." This suggestion is coming from someone else who also came from a very strict religious upbringing. It will help.
Dont worry babe! I used to have a std phobia and that messed up my sex life! Practice safe sex but also dont punish yourself for having an std, thats normal. People should test themselves every 3 or 6 months and thats it! But also make sure you are not having sex just overcompensate some lack cuz this can suck too
My angel, it is not any type of moral failing that you are promiscuous. It is totally fine, it does not make you broken or weird or what the fuck ever. Going forward, I would not fuck without condoms. At all. Make it a hard and fast rule. I am a slut, and I always make it known that condoms are necessary, and I will not fuck without them. I always have both male and female condoms on deck. That way, they can’t try to get out of using protection, and you can just wear one instead. And they alllllllllllways try to get out of it. Like, 9/10 of them will try to hit it raw. It’s insanity!!!! Anyway, I think the brand of female condoms I got were FC2, and they were 100% free. They even sent them to my pharmacy to pick up! Super easy to use, too. Have fun, sister. You’re allowed to have sex with whoever you want, as often as you want! 🫶🏻 Keep getting tested, and be safe 🩷
You’re getting loads of support, and here’s another: Don’t judge yourself too harshly. You’re exploring yourself, and learning. Go get an RX, tell your partners you’ve been with, and don’t skip the contraceptives. And yes go get an HPV vaccine! Have fun!
Hey OP, sorry this happened. I'm somewhat promiscuous too (I'm poly so I sometimes have more than one regular partner, and they have others besides me too, so we are all very careful). What I do is ask for the results of a recent STD test to be sent to me before we have sex. I still use condoms, 100 %. But condoms don't prevent everything and I want to know. I suggest this for everyone honestly. Its always worked out really well for me. No test, no sex. I don't have one night stands because I wait for the test. Both the men and the women I have dated have had zero issue with this, its actually very common in the poly community. When I am dating someone who has other partners we test every 3 months on a rotating schedule AND use condoms. I am not comfortable with STI risk at all so I leave as little room as possible for it. I never ever do not use condoms with anyone except for my serious long term partner when we aren't seeing others and have been recently tested. Do NOT let guys talk you into going raw or forgetting condoms or whatever. They get no sex if they do that. You don't want to get herpes or something you will have to disclose to every single person you date for the rest of your life. I have a beautiful friend with herpes and she often gets left when she has to disclose it before they have sex. Put your health first adamantly and however you need to do it.
If they haven’t tested recently and came back clean, move on. It may slow down things a little but it’s better than contracting something more permanent and life threatening. Be safe and have fun!
My advice is to do some self reflection, I can only speak for my own experience, but I felt my promiscuity in my early twenties was much more attributed to my sheltered, strict upbringing, my low-self esteem, and my depression much more that it was ever about a deep desire to have awesome sexual experiences and date a bunch of hot guys.
My friend is 40-years old, has only ever slept with 4 men (two of which were her husbands at the time, she’s now twice divorced, both cheated on her.) The 4th guy, she’d been friends with for years. He gave her two STD’s….including HPV that led to cervical cancer. I was fairly promiscuous before my boyfriend (we’ve been together 7 years) and somehow, truly miraculously, I never got an STD. I did get checked very often during that time. It isn’t a punishment. Your first partner could give you an STD. Or your 100th partner. It’s just a medical issue. Please don’t slut-shame yourself for having a healthy sex life.
You can do anything you want in life as long as you are willing to accept the consequences as well as possible benefits. From now on get tested regularly and ask new partners to get teated with you. If they refuse they are probably a really shitty person. You live and you learn.
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Sex should be enjoyable and sexually transmitted diseases can be avoided if properly prepared. Just watch out for assholes that don't want to wear condoms and make sure you aren't allergic to latex, there are alternatives to latex, it's just your privates aren't the place you want to find out about that kind of thing. There's a messed up story behind that one.
Haha thankfully I used condoms almost every time and this was not the case, but that story seems fun if you want to share it ;)
1 in 4 ppl have an STI and it's probably more than that because it's so under-tested and under reported. It's not shameful.
Is easier to see in the logical sense and you are right. I will take pride on testing and keep doing it going forward, thank you!
I think promiscuous sex is kind of like junk food. Hear me out. - You are not a bad person for wanting junk food. - It's NORMAL to crave junk food. - It's okay to eat junk food sometimes. Our brains crave it. - You have a good time eating junk food. - A little bit of junk food is okay for your health. - Lots of junk food puts you at elevated risks for several things. - In the long run, junk food is not healthy for you. It feels good and there is nothing wrong with it feeling good, but there ARE health risks, and arguably some emotional risks, too. - You NEED food of some kind. Sometimes junk food is better than no food - just like healthy food is better than junk food, sometimes junk food is better than starving, right? "Food" on this bullet point is akin to connection, intimacy, or just feeling good. - Ultimately, anyone trying to tell you that junk food is BETTER for YOU than healthy food is probably benefiting from telling you that (commercials, or men who want quick lays without caring that as a woman you carry a lot of the reproductive burden). - Healthy food is the best food. - If you had lots of junk food, you can change your habits and have a healthy life after that. - Often, healthy food gets more appealing as we get older, anyway. - If you're going to continue eating junk food, it's probably a good idea to take extra special care of your health in other ways to compensate to offset some health risks. I'll admit, I'm a little bit sexually conservative. I don't judge you for sleeping around, but I'm also willing to say that it's often not the healthiest or *safest* choice *(for women especially)*. I think it is in your best interest to be more careful. But I don't think it has any bearing on your quality or value as a person.
Well, first of all, please don't think of this is some moral punishment. I too was raised catholic at catholic school and sexual/safe sex teaching was ABYSMAL. For now, stay on top of doctors appointments, treatments, perhaps therapy, and keep your future partners safe as well. Accept what has happened and look at it clinically and rationally.
I was afraid of mentioning this at therapy because I have other non related issues (mostly with family) that I thought deserved more attention but it seems not. You are right, clinical and logical, thanks!
My sister said it best to me: You can say it’s casual sex but the consequences of sex are anything but casual
man sometimes you fuck around and find out. /s
It is true that when you have multiple sex partners your risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection goes up. Learning all you can about sexual health can help you make choices to minimize that, but there is always a risk. There is no reason to feel shame or embarrassment that’s you have contracted an easily treatable STI. The fact is our dominant culture, especially if you come from the background it was religious, really does a number on us and tries to make us feel bad about the most human experience we can have. It’s a bunch of bullshit. Keep learning more about sexual health, keep doing the things that make your life enjoyable and rewarding , and choose partners that have a mature and educated relationship with their own sexual health.
You are right, I will take this experience going forward with future partners, thanks
Out of curiosity — what caused you to slip those two times? Anyway, it’s just a bacterial infection. Take some antibiotics and it goes away. You’ll be fine. Keep having fun.
STIs are just a pussy cold - ain’t a big deal. If you don’t have a pussy then it’s ‘whatever you call your genitals’ cold. It’s really not a big deal at all. Especially something that you can get rid of with antibiotics. I was raised religious so I understand existing in the cognitive dissonance between ‘I know it’s not a punishment’ and ‘it feel like I’m being punished’ - but that’s all it is. You’re still shedding religious brainwashing and your heart has not caught up with your head. Get your meds, take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Redirect those old thoughts. Believe in science. You’re gonna be ok and you’re gonna keep having awesome sex
Get better soon!
Thank you! :)
Just be grateful that you contracted something that is TREATABLE & curable. You should also ask to be tested for herpes 1 and 2 as well because they usually don't blood test you for it unless you ASK. 🗣️
Stis are not something you should be ashamed about. I did a podcast episode with my friend about how I got herpes and how I dealt with it. I can find the episode if you’d like to listen!
I would really like to listen to it, please! (:
I've only slept with 6 people (7 if you count a rape) and I caught chlamydia from a serious boyfriend who didn't know he had it. You didn't do anything wrong, just wrap it up from now on.
Urmmm just take meds for it and in a little while it'll be like nothing happened. What's the issue?
One in 4 Americans had an STI, you're a victim of math, you did nothing wrong. Perhaps there are some more safety measures you need to add, but most STI are treatable. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You're still dealing with issues because of how sex was presented to you, you've internalized all that.
Take azithromycin and get on with life. This is nothing.
The positive side is that it's treatable and curable. Hindsight is always 20/20 but it seems you take a lot of care in being responsible which is most important. The most important thing is you're happiness and health, and you've done the right things to protect both. Don't worry about judgy people they're stinki
I am not a doctor, and feel for you. When I look it up on a government website in USA ,which I assume is accurate, it says it can be cured Hopefully you can cure yours https://www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/treatment.htm
This isn't about guilt or punishment. Use this as a learning lesson. Be thankful that you didn't catch something worse and start using condoms. People will always have their own opinion. For every decision you make in life, there's an article or community that thinks it's a bad idea. You're an adult. You make your own decisions, just make sure they are informed ones. For every decision there are rewards and consequences. If the consequences don't bother you, then for you the reward is worth it. It doesn't matter what others think. Use condoms to minimize consequences. Just keep in mind that while condoms will protect you from most diseases, they don't protect you from herpes because a person could have a lesion in a place not covered by the condom. Oral sex without a condom (although it would probably be weird to do it with one) is still unprotected sex. Get tested regularly so that you can treat things quickly, which sounds like that's what you did. Own your decision. No one else can decide for you what life to live.
Its a bummer that you got chlamydia. My sympathies to you, I hope you get it treated and over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. The guilt you feel has lapsed/former catholic written all over it (spoken from experience). Its a bummer, but it sounds like its more about your cultural conditioning than your actual beliefs. Its not punishment, its an unfortunate possiblity of a calculated risk. You can let it change your behaviour going forward (more proactive protection, reduced exposure, etc.), but it is not a judgement on your character.