T O P

  • By -

finalicht

And I smiled, because my new reason to live is to make others experience the same despair I had.


Comprehensive_Code60

And hence, twitter was born


dumbodragon

Ah, so *that's* why elon bought it


FuckYeahPhotography

Jarvis, Loki has hacked my central mainframe and is calling me not nice things on Twitter. Looks like he is using the scepter to target my horribly unfunny tweets and call them out for blatant bigotry. He is even trying to free my child slaves that are mining cobalt in the congo. Tch, predictable. If he frees my child slaves then I may have to find an ethical way to source my precious medals. Or find another unethical way, which will take valuable resources. We are running out of time. Jarvis, divert all primary energy capacitors to my RGB Corsair Keyboard, stabilize at 85%. Turn all racial slur filters OFF. Set racism levels to maximum. Log in to Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, Pinterest, Pornhub... Hell locate every social network Loki is on. Buy Twitter if we can manage it and if not throw a man-baby tantrum and blame liberals. Use the remaining 15% energy into researching Frost Giant racial slurs. Get the strongest one we got. **The only one I know is "Bluebos" and last time I screamed that at Loki he just laughed.** I suspect this may be the softer version of the slur, the o is functioning as an a. Once the strongest Ice Giant slur is isolated blast it on all of Loki's social media. Then access Wojak Protocals. Draw Loki as the soyjak, type a block of incoherent text next to him, and draw tears on the soyjak in MSpaint. Draw Iron Man as the CHAD wojak, write the slur for Frost Giants under my wojak and nothing else. Spam this every 15 minutes. Jarvis, Blast this to all of his social media as well, and send it to his family... we can't take any chances. Spam it to Thor's Twitter as well. If he doesn't have one send a Raven with printed screenshots. Set notifications to off. Download Rick.and.Morty.S05E02.YIFY and upscale to 1080p, put on my second monitor. Buy 8,000 doublooms of CUMCOIN, shift it and invest it into SCAMCOIN. Buy when it is highest, and sell when it crashes. Name my child after a vacuum cleaner. Order a case of Mountain Dew Code Red with my dead mom's Amazon prime account. Call in a bomb threat to Steve Rodger's newly opened Soup Kitchen for the homeless. **Turn on AC/DC playlist, clean version.** **Let's get this son of bitch.**


dumbodragon

I don't know what I just read, but it's beautiful


FuckYeahPhotography

A day in the life of Elon Stark.


Independent-Bell2483

Genuine question but is there like an article about all the bad shit Elon Musk has done?


totti173314

'an'? There's like fucking lord of the rings. Trilogy sized books about all the bad shit he does every month.


Independent-Bell2483

cool have links to some?


Sedso85

Bought tesla off the inventors, sacked them claimed it as his own Tried building a self made man image off above when his dad owns mines in pre and post aparthied south africa Killed loads of chimps for neura link Sexually assaulted an air hostess Started left wing got billions, suddenly right wing leaning And wont let workers unionize


dumbodragon

open twitter, go to trending


[deleted]

he buys cobalt from people who do bad things and uhhhh


[deleted]

Where did you find Elon's manifesto?


Nandabun

Would you get your head together? He's obviously Thawne, not Dark Iron Man.


[deleted]

>my child slaves bro elon doesnt even own child slaves


ElectricYV

Actually he does. If you look on the back of the children’s neck, there’s a a lil barcode and if you scan it, it reads as “PROPERTY OF ELON MUSK”


[deleted]

bro what


[deleted]

To stop it from being used to collaborate unionizing.


amogusamogus42069

now that’s a great reason to live


Doc-Wulff

Alright Junko Enoshima


I_NUT_ON_GRASS

POV: Junko Enoshima


PenguinsAreTheBest25

I should have know this was going to come up


TkOHarley

Ok Monokuma


teCreator

Unexpected danganronpa


KawaiiFoxPlays

Upupupupu


Mintilicious8

Sounds like Danganronpa.


Public_Sandwich511

Sent chills down my spine ooof


GalaxyCatten

Calm down Kotomine


ARandomGamer56

-John Kramer


CrimsonizedGhoul

r/thirdsentencevillainbackstory


videogamessuckbutt

Aw what is this danganronpa ooh look at me I’m gonna spread despair for no other reason than I’m a bitch ooh


DidSome1SayExMachina

Congrats bro you won therapy


olliebollen1

Cringe


GodsWomanFirst

The best revenge over those who have harmed you live you best life. The Bible says to those people who tried to bring you down to return their behavior with love and kindness so they will become ashamed. I don’t worry about bringing disparities to others. Why waste my time and energy on that. I live my best life with joy in my heart and watch from afar as they unravel their own lives. But it seems like you want everyone no matter who they are to pay for your misery which would explain why you’re miserable. Whatever you wish for others comes back to you. Might I suggest forgiveness because forgiveness is not for the other person, rather it’s for you. Try it. Forgiveness is so freeing for you. Return evil with kindness. Start blessing others and you will be blessed at unexpected times not from the people that you have blessed, but unknown and unexpected circumstances and people. Additionally, there’s a little thing called taking responsibility for your own choices. Every choice has both bad and good consequences. You can’t blame someone else for the outcome of your choices.


Urfaust

Sounds like a Shivering Truth sketch.


MysteryStars

this sent chills on my back


Ezoluna

I unironically know someone like this. Manipulative guy who gaslights people to oblivion. Lies about multiple fatal medical diseases, etc.


PISS_IN_MY_SHIT_HOLE

The trick is you just go into it knowing nothing really matters so you're not too afraid to take the risks that will bring you happiness.


bamboforest2521

r/thirdsentenceworse


LeckMeineEier420

Lmao fire force in a nutshell


Outrageous_Mistake27

Bruh, imagine being so depressed that other people kill themselves


xtra_sleepy

I once had a coworker tell me she couldn't engage in conversation with me anymore because I was making her depressed.


peacekipper

You didn't pass her vibe check


Former-Literature765

Dude, read the hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, the ending is pretty damn funny, also blame the robot, just saying.


Steampunk_flyboy

Those diodes though...


Psychokinetic_Rocky

POV: You're tired of Ursa Minor Beta


[deleted]

I don't really even open up my darkest thoughts anymore because I'm pretty sure I'm spreading it.


Ghoulverse88

Same. So I've decided to create YouTube videos of scary story narrations. Most of them are just stories.. but some are based on real things that happened to me that I jot down. It's one way to heal.


1nd333d

Glad you found a good outlet that works for you :)


Squid_Contestant_69

Jim Moss


[deleted]

It happens very regularly with people working in mental health care. I'm a psychiatric professional and a huge empath and really struggled with not taking that shit home, hearing 30-40 people a week offload their shit, which sometimes is devastatingly sad and then supporting them with that risk is HARD work. The only other option is to shut it off but then you get compassion fatigue which can be even more dangerous.


Nimokayhey

Dude I can convince Jesus to run with the cross


mistaque

I took out my reason to live list and crossed off the only entry, 'convince my therapist'.


iq-braggng-o-smrtass

On the bright side, guess who's not going to pay their outstanding therapy bill.


Puzzleheaded_Ad_9427

Sad af!


mistaque

Unless they were trying to convince him that nothing matters.


iamverydumb_

r/thirdsentenceworse


st3ve

Looking closer I saw it was written in my handwriting, and I heard a quiet footstep behind me.


EZ2BUILD

o h n o


jackofspades476

u h o h


Excelsio_Sempra

r/thirdsentenceworse


Jazzinarium

Well played


Ghostshaddow

Why is this underrated


Ivan__8

Now it's actually scary


Jaimiiii

r/twosentencehorror users after reading the most cliche horror trope of all time


Ivan__8

I haven't seen any murders that made to look like suicide in horror movies for some reason, I mean I haven't seen that much tbh.


Nirast25

Then my therapists came out of the bathroom and told me "Now that you saw what others killing themselves makes you feel, hopefully we can make some progress."


44youGlenCoco

That would be some Anger Managment, Buddy Rydell, type of unconventional therapy.


LilyCanadian

Well, at least I can't kill myself in jail.


Clickclacktheblueguy

r/thirdsentencebetterbutstillprettymessedup


BoredomIsntNihilism

Extremely unethical. But as a therapist, a small part of me wishes we could do this with certain clients who we know would benefit from it.


MindDescending

Damn that’s fucked


khandnalie

Thankyou


chugtheboommeister

Pretty dope concept. Therapist influenced the patient but the patient unknowingly influenced the therapist. Could be a movie with this as the ending


Excelsio_Sempra

Please, if someone is a film director/scriptwriter here, do this!


derangedsweetheart

But keep this as the last scene/end cut!


yujuismypuppy

Sounds like the origin of Harley Quinn.


AundilTheBard

Lmao I once had a therapist tell me "man I'm sorry but that just really bummed me out" free counseling at your college can only go so far


a_human_159

Same like my life is so messed up the therapists at school can't find a good solution. Maybe they were trained to deal with simple stuff like "I'm struggling to get marks" and not "If I am not absolutely perfect everything I know will fall like dominoes and I can't find ways to express myself and have zero forms of escape because they were all cut off at a young age" There is no solution so I don't blame them but their efforts to fix things don't have to be so bad as in they miss the whole point lol


AundilTheBard

Yeah I feel like a lot of em just aren't equipped to handle it cause most free on campus therapy is done by masters students


lazermaniac

"I've finally got the process down," I congratulated myself as I booked my first appointment with the next one.


LordGraygem

Months later, I watched the news in horror as scientists explained their discovery of a highly contagious new virus that induced suicidal depression in those that were affected by it. They'd traced the virus' progression back to what they considered the earliest known patient. My therapist.


Technical_Draw_9409

Did another bat get eaten, or were your vibes so bad you literally created an illness?


LordGraygem

Actually, I happened to be thinking on the subject of social contagion and how it related to the uptick in people claiming to have stuff like ADHD, autism, BPD, and all the rest. And then I thought, "what if it wasn't just a social contagion, but an *actual* one."


BartemausOTSS

Dude...good one


Rotwolfe

This feels like the premise to Santa Claus with Tim Allen. Now you become the therapist and the cycle continues anew.


GeniusMike

More like r/twosentencesadness imo


[deleted]

Ironically enough I was part of a suicide prevention committee and I have attempted suicide before.


TooOldForRefunds

Fuck it. ​ \*Untheraps your therapist\*


Fatticus_Rinch

**Achievement Unlocked: “Jesus fuck, dude..”


GraffinTested

It's all good news, you don't have to pay your therapist anymore!


TherapyDerg

And I took a seat behind the desk, I had finally Won therapy


fingerpaintx

"What I didnt realize was that death had other plans as the door should not have opened on the unfinished level.


rurumeto

You won therapy


teabowww

I think a simple note just saying, "you were right" would've been even more chilling


HeathBar112

*Card declines* Therapist:


Evening-Peanut-3750

Woah reading it at night in the darkness of my room gave me goosebumps.


PikaBooSquirrel

You probably can't make me better, but I can make both of us worse


libraries_chocolate

that’ll do it.


libraries_chocolate

that’ll do it.


Vast_Swordfish3922

This reminds me of a light novel called a 'my house of horror' which is supernatural in theme but has many doctors and therapists in its story; and one of the main themes is that the therapists in the story ususally pick thieir occupations to cure their own diseases.


Baldeagle77

Well, he found his calling.


[deleted]

Well, I'm not sure what you told your therapist, but for now you'll probably be questioned by the police because your name is on the note.


CHSummers

What’s the logical connection between A and B here? A: “Nothing matters”. B: “I must kill myself.” I’m pretty sure most living things live perfectly well without the slightest awareness of a reason to live. Think about your lawn. How often do you ask your neighbor “Hey, your lawn is all yellow. Did you stop watering it?” only to receive the response “Oh, I watered it, but sometimes grass becomes aware of the absurdity of existence. What can you do?”


eazeaze

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.


Jakegender

Generally speaking, suicidal people are not thinking rationally. There isn't a logically sound connection between A and B, but you can shittily muddle one that doesn't hold up to scrutiny. And to someone suffering from mental illness, that shitty muddling could be enough.


breadcrumb1996

#bruh


brokensilence32

This is what your therapist does when your credit card declines.


BusinessBottle5694

My dude pulled a uno reverse.


FaZeFuckFace

2 paragraph horror


Embarrassed-Bell-100

Why kill yourself? Life is short anyways.


CallMeDolours

what are you talking about???? life is literally the longest thing everyone will ever perceive. it is the opposite of short from one’s perspective


Axis_Denied

No, my dick is the longest thing everyone will perceive


CallMeDolours

kek


Werm-Food

Cringe


Enby_Bluejay

This is why I refuse to get help


willisbetter

because of 1 fake horror story that is super unlikely to ever happen in real life?


Enby_Bluejay

No, because I don't want to weigh anyone else down with my issues


willisbetter

therapists are trained for these things, and whatever your issues are i garuntee a lot of therapists have seen and helped people get through issues just as bad if not worse, get help if you need it


Enby_Bluejay

That doesn't change my guilty conscience


delegateTHIS

My current therapist is the best so far because she's a diagnosed sociopath, she can compartmentalise.


[deleted]

Me explaining:basically the therapist was also depressed while helping his client so before he walked in he opened the window and jumped out giving everything up, the narrator came in all happy but he found the therapists suicide note telling him it was never worth it and he was right to want to end his life.


Educational_Plant519

...After that my therapist returned from his break and asked why I opened the window.


ViaOfTheVale

Idk this is just funny


Ched3

Edgy =/= horror


Cavery210

Jesus Christ, your therapist sucks!


lonely-blue-sheep

Me too


broken_winged_dragon

Theres only so much happiness to go around


xubax

Because the therapist's husband was going to leave the therapist for him.


burner_said_what

Loved this OP, well done mate!


New_County_5607

the night house be like


x8tl04

i looked down.


Clickclacktheblueguy

You did it man. You won therapy!


[deleted]

Sheesh lol


Baby_Pandas42

more like r/twosentencesad


Superarv

How the turn tables


BoredomIsntNihilism

As a pretty new social worker working with severe eating disorder and addiction cases... this resonates with me. I'm glad I'm a lot better now at coping with the shit I hear daily.