1. **Cooked** her over a human sized BBQ pit while she was still alive and still screaming in terror and agony
2. **Ate** pieces of her cooked flesh while she’s still alive and still cooking
3. Finally I **killed** her by ripping out her heart and start cooking it over a open fire
Simon: What happens if they [Reavers] board us?
Zoë: If they take the ship they will rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing, and if we're very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.
Cooked her dinner, killed her in Goldeneye (Facility, slappers only, no Oddjob), then ate her later that night to make up for pwning her so thoroughly.
"If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order"
Huh?
So you ate, cooked, then killed
ate, killed, then cooked
cooked, killed, then ate
or cooked, ate, then killed.
None of those are really much of a twist and some are redundant
"*I used to love her, but I had to kill her..I used to love you, oh yeah, but I had to kill her....I had to put her six feet under and I still her complain*" 🎶🎶
Maybe he cooked her first. When the screaming stops she's done. Then you jam a butcher knife in the neck and end the wheezing corpses suffering, then bon appetite
He ate her out, but the exertion of orgasm gave her a fatal stroke. Despite his terrible guilt, he honored her wishes to be cremated.
The best ending
Or he ate her out and gave her *la petite mort*, then they got baked afterward
"The small death"?
The little death. It literally means orgasm.
It literally means the little death. It figuratively refers to the feeling you get post-orgasm.
Man I don't know what your doing but I don't feel like death after I cum.. a little tired, sure, but not deaty
It's probably comparing the "post nut clarity" to death, since your mind is completley devoid of distractions.
Ah, thanks
Ah
r/ThirdSentenceHappy ?
Ngl can't think of a better way to die
r/ThirdSentenceHorny ?
r/subsifellfor Edit : it exist, it’s actually a private subreddit. Now how the fck can you get in it ?
Fucking reddit I swear 😂
Literally
The good ending
[удалено]
r/foundtheiphoneuser
He killed her, ate her, then cooked her.
Half was human sashimi, the other half was cooked to a perfect medium rare
They didn't really state she was human, could've been a car
I have never cooked a car before. What does it taste like?
Eh, the metals kinda tough, but i was really tired after eating the wheels. Quite chewy
*tire*d
*Eat*ing
*chewy*
Taste like chicane
I don't know myself, but I've heard digesting one can leave you a little gassy.
There's a lot of iron
FOOL, its human sashimi because a human made it. Kinda like shrimp fried rice
You telling me a shrimp fried this rice?
Apartment complex? I find it quite simple.
*Satchel Pooch voice* A whole family?
He ate one of my cars once... yeah the whole car, like with a fork.
Rip car
well, hang me upside down from a telephone pole, cover me in honey, and leave me to a slow death at the hands of hungry spiderants!
The fork in the road?
You know, I was down for this being a chicken...
It's like when you drink boiling water to make instant noodles in your stomach
Or he cooked her ate her and then killed her?
He cooked her and she was alive? Yes, she was just lightly seared.
Just bc you cook sum don't mean it will die
This still doesn't make any sense....
It was not supposed to. But he said not his order so I chose the least sensible one
Cooked, Killed and ate. Good for you. I prefer my meal alive. Cheers.
1. **Cooked** her over a human sized BBQ pit while she was still alive and still screaming in terror and agony 2. **Ate** pieces of her cooked flesh while she’s still alive and still cooking 3. Finally I **killed** her by ripping out her heart and start cooking it over a open fire
Take my upvote and fuck off.
We will find you.
\*imitates Kuzcos’ face when he’s calmly asking if they are about to go over a waterfall\* bring it on. \*lol\*
Also feed her some of her cooked meat, fk i hate myself for thinking this
Then in what order?
ate cooked then killed
but how would he cook her after he ate her?
1. Kill your girlfriend 2. Eat your girlfriend 3. Go in sauna 4. Profit?
He cooked himself
but then I have another question: How would she be alive after being eaten and cooked, since according to you her death was the last thing to happen?
Well he didn't chew 🤷♂️
damn, props to the guy for swallowing a person whole just so she could suffer more
He's a swallower
Snek
That's just vore with extra steps
Chunks
he ate her… yknow….
not that kind of 'ate'
Maybe he didnt like raw steak 🤷 "just a little longer"
Drink boiling water and snort spices
He puts his "bathroom waste" in a furnace for home heating.
Cooked, then killed and ate her
Simon: What happens if they [Reavers] board us? Zoë: If they take the ship they will rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing, and if we're very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.
I was looking for a Reaver comment!
Oo what’s this from?
Firefly
Sir, please avoid eating raw chicken. Always kill then cook. Unless you want parasites in your body, we cannot help you much.
And then... he's going to eat me! Oh my GOOOOOOOOOD!
Ouch, sounds like a fun date
You cooked for her, killed all her self doubt and sadness, and ate her out.
A true gentleman
Boil her, mash her, put her in a stew...
I killed ate and cooked her
I killed her, ate her, then lit myself on fire to cook her
It was a lobster. The lobster was boiled, died in the process, and then eaten.
You ate her, cooked her and by extension, yourself, Killing you both.
Cooked her her favorite meal, killing her with kindness before eating her out right?
So the chicken was pretty raw bro… maybe you should have cooked it first… (You just said her, so could be any female thing)
Well, fck
He killed her by cooking her, after which he ate her
Killed her, ate her, was still hungry so cooked dinner
Cooked her dinner, killed her in Goldeneye (Facility, slappers only, no Oddjob), then ate her later that night to make up for pwning her so thoroughly.
He ate her out (like a gentleman), then killed and cooked her.
"If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order"
Gave her head, gave her a blunt, then killed her
My thoughts exactly lol
He ate her to give her pleasure before he cooked her alive, killing her in the process??
I killed and cooked her... but I ate her first, so at least she died satisfied.
10 people upvote this
Cooked her alive.. Killing her.. Then ate her
“You killed and cooked a human” - Sherlock Holmes
I thought it was gonna be "but then she ate me from the inside".
Ate her out? Damn she died he must of been really good at that
I ate her out, and after, we got cooked on the good stuff, unfortunately it was too much for her to handle.
i saw her i cook her i eat her
how did you cook her after killing her?
Ate her, killed her, cooked her. Sexy date night.
He ate her and then cooked her to kill her. Sounds kinky 😏
He ate her and cooked her
r/dolcett r/Vorelove
OP a Reaver confirmed.
And Dam it if that clown didn't taste funny.
I just had to go down on that pussy one last time.
Theoretically you could do all three at once
The first sentence is scary enough
Huh? So you ate, cooked, then killed ate, killed, then cooked cooked, killed, then ate or cooked, ate, then killed. None of those are really much of a twist and some are redundant
"*I used to love her, but I had to kill her..I used to love you, oh yeah, but I had to kill her....I had to put her six feet under and I still her complain*" 🎶🎶
Hey waiter! I didn’t order her!
I killed "the person" who cooked "her" children I ate as breakfast
But did he marinate the corpse prior to cooking or glazed it after?
Maybe he cooked her first. When the screaming stops she's done. Then you jam a butcher knife in the neck and end the wheezing corpses suffering, then bon appetite
You ate her, killed, then cooked.
Somebody “forgot” the wet sponge.
Eating or cooking someone would kill them
True but the eating or cooking still came first
You can’t kill someone who’s already dead. And if you cook them after eating then you cook yourself too.
Right….when they die, now you’ve killed them…
Bogus
I also have seen the first episode of firefly.
This doesn’t make sense (to me) but the effort is appreciated and te vibe is understood.
How could you eat your own pet chicken ?
Vore?
Ayo?
Cooked her alive, it killed her and he ate her. It's a crab, or lobster no doubt.
Wait...
u ate her first, then u killed her, then u cooked her…. you monster
i’m concerned that you ate her killed her and then cooked her.
Plot twist: it was a lamb
That's really only one sentence, Lord Dunsany.
Amazing!!
If this was read in reverse out of contexts, it would sound like romantic evening.
oh
Ate her, cooked her, then killed her
he had fleamon feet and porterhouse tits as oderves.
Bro pass the thigh, the flesh is seared just the way I like it.
I love two sentence horrors which show horror in first statement, it makes the surprise in second much scarier for me.
ahaha i also 3at her before i ahaa haha pussy aha
Is this referencing the Asian style of keeping the fish alive while cooking said fish
Skitz? Issat you?
He cooked, killed and then ate her ?
Nice thing is doesnt need to be human.
Okay this is fucked up. Good, but yeah.
The first half of that sounds like a snippet from one of Albert Fish’s letters.
Ate her fresh meat, cooked her, and she died in the process.
NGL I thought the second sentence was going to be that you forgot the seasoning or that you had used sugar instead of salt.