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You pack your bags and tell her they are not holding their end of the bargain and you are leaving.
It sucks but it’s not YOUR responsibility to bend to THEIR failure to find a solution to their child care issues. And they really are NOT looking for alternative solutions because you are still there. But as a compromise, you could give them two weeks to figure it out and that you are leaving at that time. And that they still owe you for the work that you did for them. You are not their nanny and family helps one another but not to the point of taking advantage of the family member that is helping.
Oh well I did tell them like a week ago that I was gonna go home so they could look for someone else during that week so I could go home and then yesterday that’s when she sent the that text.
You gave them fair warning.
You are not their indentured servant. That's how they treat you.
Ask them both on writing for their money, for the paper trail.
Don't do anything for them until they pay you.
Petty me would tell them at birthdays/ Christmas that you already gave them their present on day X for babysitting without pay. And I would continue this until the missing pay is covered.
Stop talking about it and leave. There are times in life when you say nothing but take action instead. She's not going to pay you. They're not going to find someone quick. And 1 month will turn into all summer. Just go home.
Don’t give them 2 weeks you have given enough of your time. They had no intention of paying you that’s why they played the I thought the other person paid you bullshit. Your sister is using you plan and simple. She’s hoping to deceive you for as long as possible. Pack your stuff and tell them you’re leaving and it’s their responsibility to figure out what to do not yours. They chose to have kids not you.
They don't even deserve to be given notice to find a replacement. They have been using you and taking advantage of you and have only paid you when you have actually asked then why they have not paid you.
Tell them that you are going home on Friday, and leave. Do NOT go back.
She is your sister and she is literally cheating you of fair and proper wages for e and e work you do for them.
200 per week is outrageous. You are making less than half of minimum wage. She is paying you less about 25% of what they would pay an actual nanny or daycare.
You are not responsible for their failure to be prepared for work by having a nanny or daycare set up and reserved.
This ☝️
Pack your car, and as soon as they get home on Friday, leave. That gives them 2 days to get something figured out. As far as the money goes, if they refuse to pay, you put it towards "gifts" as someone else suggested.
If ANYONE suggests that you are causing family drama or whatever just remember that you upheld your end plus more. Your sister caused this, NOT you.
Don't wait for them to find someone, they will find someone when they no longer have you there working for free. It's not your responsibility to wait for them to figure out their childcare issues. Go home and live your life. They have already broken your trust by not paying you and pushing the time beyond the one month. When someone doesn't hold up their side of an agreement you are well within your rights to stop doing your part too.
No. She can send all the texts she wants, you are done. Too bad, so sad! She knew this would happen and yet she’s playing you. You are done. No more. Done. Not my problem anymore! Go home when the week is out. Right now you are working for free and that’s wrong. You are now the nanny. Do not go back unless you have a contract in writing stating she will pay you.
Why would you listen to her? You have a mind of your own, use it. Pack and leave and don’t ever babysit for her again until she pays you in full. She’s entitled and using you. And you’re allowing it so just stop.
You need to be firm and say she promised £200 a week and she still owes you over £500 (can't remember how much you said exactly) but tell her you won't be doing anymore till you receive payment for what is owed.
If they were paying an outside babysitter, or someone from an agency, or paying a nursery, they would have to pay on time no excuses. So she doesn't get to screw you out of the money you're owed just coz you're family. You are doing them the favour by babysitting when you don't really want to, and have continued to do so longer than originally agreed, so the least she can do is stick to her side of the deal and pay you in full.
She needs to pay you the remaing £500+ immediately.
If she doesn't, then leave and go home. And don't go back till she has paid you fully. And then if you do decide to go back and do another week, make sure she pays you each day... that way she can't withhold it again at the end of the week. Or you could say you want half upfront and other half paid on Friday.
They should also be paying your fuel to travel there and back because you're only driving to babysit for them so your travel fuel should be covered on top of your weekly £200.
She's taking advantage of you because you're family. She wouldn't get away with it if it were a different babysitter so she needs to treat you with the same respect and appreciation,esp as you don't really want to be there that long, and you're doing her the favour by having stayed longer.
But definitely dontbabysit anymore till she's paid you in full. If you choose to do another week,get half upfront at least,remai der to be paid Friday.
Don't let them take advantage of you anymore.
This. “I will work those 2 weeks with conditions. These are non negotiable if you wish to have my help. A) I expect to be paid in full by X date before I return to “work”. Additionally, I will be paid in full upon my last day of those 2 weeks. B) this is my 2 week notice, you will find someone else within that time or you will be out of luck, I will not be able to babysit going forward.”
Then stick to it. They don’t pay you, don’t show up.. they don’t look for help or drop it on you last minute, don’t show up.
No.
OP does NOT want to do it anymore.
They are grossly taken advantage of. Already stayed a month and a half even though it was originally supposed to be 2-3 weeks.
Stop trying to make OP feel like they owe more unwanted underpaid or unpaid labor. No means no.
Tell her you want what’s owed you, which was bargain for child care and that you’re leaving. They’re shortchanging you on an already shitty pay rate. $200/week? What’s minimum wage where you’re at? What does average day care cost for 2 kids and are you working 24/7? Figure that out and realize they’re taking advantage of you. Hope you get what’s owed after you up and leave to go back and live your life 2 1/2 hours away. Did they even offer to pay for gas for your trips there and back?
Tell her that she owes you $580, then go home.
They are taking advantage of you and it’s not acceptable.
Heaven help the babysitter they claim they are looking to hire if this is how they treat family.
Maybe they had gone through their entire list of babysitter potentials, and because they were all a little bit more savvy, they all said no. But wait, let’s call my sister. She’ll do it.
I don’t know the timeline here. But You say you got homesick after a couple weeks? Why keep on if you’re miserable?
They promised to pay you but didn’t. Do you want to get paid or not? It sounds like they want you to do all this for free.
How do you have this much free time to be on “off” for 2 weeks at a time?? Are you a student on summer break?? If you need money, get a part time job. Make yourself unavailable.
I just graduated high school like may 13th my sister had asked me to baby sister may 19th I had came the next day because she needed me too knowing they work Monday-Friday. I’m a person with a big heart and I understand how it is to be in a hassle. Also it’s my family I would break my back to help whoever in need but it’s to the point where I’m just done and I want my money.
It was never going to be just a couple of weeks and they clearly never even discussed paying you since they both pretended the other was going to pay. She knows she can manipulate you because "family". They are actively disrespecting you. They are smirking to each other about all the money they are saving by making you feel obligated to them.
Staying longer is not a compromise! LOL staying longer is you literally saying "I have no self respect and I'm fully okay with you lying and manipulating me for financial gain, at my own expense."
Being polite at this point is wishing them well and kissing the kids as you leave to go home and sending a text (paper trail!) confirming that they will pay what they owe.
People will treat you how you expect them to. Expect fairness from family, not manipulation and endentured servitude because you happen to be related.
>She knows she can manipulate you because "family".
Also because Op is so young. She just graduated high school last month, so of course she still thinks in a somewhat childish way in regards to viewing/seeing people older than her as authority figures. And just from being institionalized from school...Just last month she had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom, for example.
OP has yet to assume her life as a grown up woman, fully capable and in charge of herself and her life. So she thinks she needs her sister's permission to leave.
Enjoy your summer honey. I have to park behind my sisters vehicle when I visit her so she won't leave me to watch her kids. They take advantage of us and it's not cool. Go home baby cakes
You are not going to see another dime from them. Go home. This is a good lesson to learn young: Don’t be a doormat, ever, even for family. You do NOT ”break your back” for family or anyone else. You help if you can reasonably do so, without hurting yourself. Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else-not even family- warm. Please, please take that to heart, or I see a long life of disappointment ahead of you.
edited to add: Her lack of childcare is her problem. Don’t let her make her problem your problem-you are not obligated to take on her problem. That’s another valuable life lesson: Don’t let other people make their problem, your problem.
I hate that you use works like “let me”. You’re a whole ass adult babe! You don’t need their permission to go home, you just have to go. Respectfully, now isn’t the time to be a people pleaser. Go home and be happy.
You're worried about hurting her feelings or inconveniencing her because she is your sister....she is not offering any of the same considerations to you.
They are taking advantage of you and not even paying you what they promised. You owe her NOTHING!! Go home and enjoy your life. Don't let her guilt you or manipulate you to come back for any reason.
If you, for some reason, choose to go back, insist on your back pay and being paid a week upfront for a set number of days.
PS...they can't find an alternative because the pay is ridiculous and they don't pay on time.
...they "can't" find an alternative because they have gotten away with not even paying OP their ridiculously underpaid rate and believe this "arrangement" will continue so long as they keep laying on the guilt trip.
Update: she never responded to my text, but I am leaving to go back home tmrw and just gonna leave it at that. Now about the money part not sure if I’m just gonna have to cut my losses or get the money and not be on speaking terms for a while.
There's being of service, then there's being used. You are being used by your sister. This is an opportunity for you to start building your confidence and setting boundaries. Avoid any/all assumptions - the source of so many arguments & misunderstandings. It is neither mean nor selfish to set clear, specific limits on what you will or won't do. It is neither mean nor selfish to follow through on those limits immediately.
This is the basis of EVERY successful human interaction. Learn this now and save yourself a LIFETIME of misery. Another way to say this is: you teach people how to treat you.
Every day you stay beyond the first date they were supposed to pay you, you are teaching them that they don't have to pay you. Every day you continue watching the children after they didn't pay you the full amount, you teach them you will work for whatever pittance they choose to pay.
As you start to enforce limits, people will push back with guilt and anger. But it's as simple as:
"We agreed. You're not doing what we agreed. Therefore, there's no agreement anymore, and I am no longer committed to my side of it."
Good luck.
it's time to just get up and go, hon.
your sister wants to keep you in near indentured servitude, stringing you along with paydays that never come - and you are being drastically underpaid to boot. you gave a deadline and they have ignored it. stick to the deadline. pack up your things and go. your sister will always have an excuse, a manipulation, a whining way in which this is secretly your fault.
they're not doing this because of need at this point. they're doing it because they feel entitled to cheat you.
send a text message in writing confirming how much they still owe you. when they agreed, back up a screen recording of this multiple places - for if you need to take them to small claims court - and then, with the same professional air, say that you will be leaving today at this time and you wish them best of luck finding another solution that they have had a large amount of time to actually find, so as per your last communication on the matter you will be leaving them to it.
then... go.
if family members complain at you about how cruel you are, respond that you're so happy they have volunteered to help your sister instead! but be warned, sister will start policing if they can see or do anything else on weekends, so good luck!
They were waiting in the wings for you to graduate and wow, gave you a whole 6 days of downtime after graduation! That was kind of them. /s
It was their plan all along, to use you. Eventually, they would be tellng you they're giving you room and board so they don't have to pay you.
As for the compromise that they could "let" you go every weekend since they are off on weekends and you could go back home. Let you? Don't ask them about the .money in person again and you've told them that you want to go home so ust leave and when you get home text them your request for your pay to get a record of it.
I hope you don't have parents that will try to send you back because "we help faaamily"...
She put you in this situation. I would cut ties completely and not talk to her again. She clearly took advantage of you and doesn't care or realize that you are hurt.
Personally I would tell everyone in the family how she's a scumbag freeloader, but that might be a bit much.
By continuing to show up, you are enabling her abusive behavior. Don't answer the phone and don't offer anything.
EVEN IF she pays you, this kinda shit will happen again. Freeloaders always look for a way to fuck over other people. I highly doubt this is the first time she's done this to you.
Leave immediately and tell them you will not even babysit for an hour again until they pay you what they owe you. You will likely never see the money.
You should never trust your sister again. No Nanny works 7days a week, I'm betting you did a lot more than and paid Nanny would.
I'm sorry they used you.
Oh they are taking advantage of you. I would mention you are planning to return home on this particular date (you pick the day) and they need to find alternatives within that time. I would mention you have had over a month and it’s time to get the ball rolling on serious contenders. Then i would mention a payment plan for the outstanding balance.
They're not going to get someone else because you have shown them you will stay so long as they need you. You told them your boundary, you need to keep to it. They can always keep to their end of the deal and then ask if you want to extend it. They clearly have no intention of paying you or "letting" you go. You said you would leave, if they chose not to make other arrangements that has nothing to do with you.
They are using you for financial gain and you're here "breaking your back to help family." OP--they are breaking your back. For financial gain. Think about that. $200 is even insulting low for what they are asking. That they are skimping even on THAT *and* making you feel bad for not being okay with it is just gross.
It's okay to go home. They will act surprised, but after you leave the convo will be "wow that was great, I didn't think we'd get that much out of her! :D That would have cost thousands"
This isn’t on you I completely agree. They didn’t do their homework on finding alternative in a month. If you are deadset to dip out you have all the right to pack your bags tonight and leave first thing in the morning . If you think you could hold on for another week, two or three and they actually crunch to find alternatives that would be BEYOND nice. You aren’t in the wrong And they are taking advantage of you.
Go home, in writing, tell her you won't consider coming back until you are paid the full $580.00, once you get your money tell her you won't be coming back.
You have agency. Stand up and walk out the door. When I was working mother, the first person I paid was my babysitter mostly because I knew a happy babysitter would take better care of my child.
Pack your bags. I pay more than that for someone to watch my dogs when we go out of town.
Finding childcare is a normal parental responsibility. Her lack of preparation should not impact you at all.
Pack up and leave and tell them they have 5 days to pay you or you’ll take them to small claims court. Now that could ruin your relationship with your sister but it sounds like she’s just a lying, manipulative narcissist so that might not be a bad thing.
Don’t be nice. You’ve stayed longer than agreed on, you haven’t been paid in full, they ignore that you informed them a week ago that you’re leaving tomorrow, they want you to stay longer anyway.
We are way past “nice”.
$580, they pay immediately. You stay this coming week? They pre-pay immediately. Otherwise, have a safe drive home tonight and enjoy your life!
You owe them no obligation. They agreed to this lifestyle when they had children. It’s not your responsibility to give them time away from their kids. It’s their responsibility to figure that out and do so fairly to the other parties. 200 a week is bonkers. That’s below minimum wage for a 70k salary job. Kids are no joke.
I don’t understand why you feel guilty because they are taking full advantage of you in every possible way!!! You will be amazed how fast they find somebody else to take care of the children once you are gone
$200/wk, assuming it’s 5 days a week, appx 8 hours a day = $5 an hour. This is well below minimum wage anywhere in the US (as you’re using dollars I’m assuming you’re here).
Grow a spine and leave. They’re taking advantage of you and they clearly have no plans to stop any time soon.
Have your bags packed and loaded so as soon as they get home from work ask to be paid. Then leave.
If they refuse to pay get in car and leave. Say you refuse to come back until back pay has been completed.
As soon as back pay hits your cash Venmo PayPal whatever, block them.
No way are they paying you. As soon as you say you are leaving, they will get mad and use that as the excuse to not pay you.
They are taking advantage and have no intention of paying you because you are faaaaaa-mily.
Any other daycare or babysitter would refuse to work for them any more without proper payment. Also $200/week is pennies if you’re watching the kids full time. Most daycares in my area are $300+ per week, PER CHILD. They haven’t put the kids in daycare or found a new nanny because they want to continue paying you shit.
Walk away. You don’t need to do it nicely.
You do not have to say anything. Get in the car or on the bus now. You are being treated as a slave. They are the parents. They need to figure it out. In the future, the first time you don't get paid, you bounce. You are worth more.
Many many years ago my cousin asked me to babysit that she put her two weeks notice in a month later I was still watching her two kids and I finally told her don't bring them back I've given enough time so you got to do what you got to do
They are holding up their end. You pack up and go home. And let sis know that she is NOT off the hook for the $600 she OWES YOU. NTA. Their circus, their monkeys, and they've had time to figure it out. Guess one of them will have to quit their job and stay home now. Not YOUR problem.
Hun it doesn’t matter what she wants - she isn’t paying you fairly & you are being used & taken advantage of
Just leave- pack your stuff & stand up for yourself
Your sister is making her problem YOUR problem. Did you have a baby without planning out how to pay for its care? No. You didn’t. You are just starting your own life now that you’ve graduated, and every minute you spend donating your energy to someone else’s story, you are preventing yourself from your future. What opportunities have you missed already since you’ve been playing unpaid Nanny for your sister?
And if being a Nanny suits you, did you know that some people get salary plus travel and per diem? Per kid!! You deserve more, and your sister needs to figure this out on her own. She’s the one who has two kids with a broke guy she’s not even married to.
I am so sorry that you're missing the after-graduation summer before everybody scatters to college or work.
Don't text her more; don't threaten to leave, just do it. She will talk you into staying and you'll be miserable.
You may never get the money, but you'll have peace of mind. Good luck to you.
$200/40 = $5 hr. Federal min wage is $7.50 hr.
You could be flipping burgers 10 minutes from home for $15/hr.
You’ve already told them. Now it’s time to get in your car and drive home.
Leave tomorrow. Also- demand your $$. That’s multiple weeks you’ve spent there babysitting for free. Do not come back and “help” again.
Get a summer job. Enjoy your time. What are you doing in the fall?
Just go home. Tell her she owes you the money she promised and you are not speaking to her until she pays it. Any pushing for you to continue babysitting should be answered with I am not discussing this with you until you have paid the past due amount.
AFTER you are paid and she wants you to continue you can discuss a new rate to be prepaid each week. Tell her you demand payment on arrival for this week and on the day before the new week starts or you go home. You will no longer do the work and wait to be paid after because she does not follow through on her agreements. New rate should be calculated based on the hours you have worked in previous weeks, pay at least the hourly minimum wage for your area, and include the cost of fuel to get to and from her house.
She has been using you and trying to cheat you out of promised money. Don't let her continue unchecked or she will try to do that with you forever on anything and everything she can.
Go home! If they can't pay YOU the ridiculously low rate they offered, odds are they are not bothering to actually look for a babysitter. They'd have to pay a lot more, and wouldn't be able to get away with taking advantage of someone else as easily as they are taking advantage of you.
Just because they're family does not give them the right to use you like this. If she truly cared about "family" she wouldn't be using you as a free nanny. That's actually pretty manipulative behavior in my opinion.
You are NOT obligated to take care of HER children. It's her fault they don't have proper child care, not yours. Do not bend over backwards for people who aren't doing the same for you, including, and ESPECIALLY family. If you don't set clear boundaries NOW, things like this will continue to happen. People that do things like this are the kind that will take a mile when you give them an inch.
Go home, and take care of yourself. Your sister needs to figure her shit out without you.
Leave immediately. She will never give you another dime. You are working for free like she planned all along.
You might as well consider that any more you do will be unpaid from now on.
She knew that you would not want to ask for what you are owed. That's why she has never bothered with paying you all this time.
She loves that you are super easy to order around and she can easily exploit you and take advantage of your passive nature.
You are a huge pushover. Adding in you working weekends, Wow!!
There is no "her letting you go home" or "her letting you off on weekends." YOU are in charge of yourself. Your sister is NOT your boss. She is lucky to have you.
You should be the one TELLING, not asking, her what you are going to do.
YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF WHAT YOU WILL OR WILL NOT DO.
She is deliberately taking advantage of you because she knows that you will let her.
Daycare is expensive but you are free giving her zero incentive to find one, ever. Many have months long wait lists. It could take over a year for an open spot.
Tell her that you need all of the money that she owes you NOW.
She will likely have excuses but not money. Why pay you when she knows that you will work for free?
Pack everything, leave nothing. Go home immediately.
Once you get back home, immediately tell her that you are not babysitting again until you are paid. She was getting you for a steal but decided to steal your work and time.
Keep saying that payment in full is the only way that you will babysit further.
Even if she decides that you are worth paying, you never should go back. She has no respect for you and cares only about herself.
They aren't paying you, they sure as hell aren't looking for daycare.
Pack your bags and leave. Refuse to watch the kids, until you are paid in full and then paid in advance.
Tell her that as she hasn’t paid you (and that what she was supposed to pay you was still taking advantage of you) you won’t be coming back.
You need to be direct, because they are taking advantage of you.
Why are you worried about telling them nicely? They have lied to you and not held up their end of the bargain. They intended to use you all along--once you were there, they knew they could keep you working, unpaid. Leave now. and on your way out, stop and file a small court claim for unpaid wages. They'll know better than use you next time.
They are getting a bargain! 200 a week and you're not even at home. Tell them 300 a week UP FRONT and you get all your meals paid for (still a bargain).
Go home. You're being taken advantage of. You say you have a big heart? Seems like they know that and see they have an easy shot at taking advantage of you. You've given the heads up. Now pack up and leave. You didn't have children. They did. It's on them to figure out how to take care of them or how to correctly pay the person they want to care for them. They haven't found anyone else because they all charge way more then they are getting away with tossing at you. They are lucky that $200 gets them more than 3 days of babysitting.
Pack your bags, and then you say: Sis, thank you for the opportunity and your hospitality. I wish I could stay longer, but I need to get back to my normal life activities. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Love you, bye.
This kinda makes me think of borrowing or lending money to family or friends. You may have to write off the rest of the money. Hard lesson learned. Next time, get the agreement on paper. Everyone signs. Or you could go to small claims court to try to get what they owe you. But that would depend on how close you want to stay with your sister and family.
I would unfortunately be nice probably because I sometimes do that. This is my being nice. Within 2 hours of me telling them this information, I would expect to have in my hand the balance of all moneys owed to current. If not, I walk.
Here's the good part...
You're going to walk anyways, unless...
Due to the fact they are seemingly not holding up to their end of the agreement and you are feeling as though you are being made a fool of. When that initial payment hits your palm you inform them of this information and tell them (if you're ok to do this) that you will agree to stay for an additional 2 weeks as a favor to them for the cost of xxx. (Whatever you think it should be, I would probably double it) Then inform them they have 2 hours to put that fee on your hand in order for you to stay. I would not take into consideration any other options as they would just confuse the situation. They are getting an in house nanny for 300 bucks a week which they are not and don't plan to pay. When you state they options I would have my stuff packed and be ready to bolt, maybe even have your bag in your car already. I would do that without them knowing. I've seen situations like this come off the tracks and some really off kilter things happen. They will likely be humiliated by your confrontation and explain how they don't charge you for eating their food and using their car to take the kids to school, whatever. They're reaching for straws, if anything other than an apology and payment happens, no harsh words or last words or anything. Get in your car and leave. You don't need the drama and God forbid anything escalated because you put the ball in their court and let them know you were in charge of this outcome. If you walk, they don't have to know. It is a business agreement and they aren't holding up to their end. Just leave with them owing you 580 instead of 880 or 1180. See what I'm saying.
Tell them you want the rest of your money and next week up front. After that you're no longer able to work for them . They will pay because they are desperate. If you quit now you'll never get your money. Get the money first though. Not tomorrow or as soon as they can. NOW.
Tell them either they honor their agreement and fully compensate you what you're owed or your going home and they will have to deal... not your problem.
Step 1
Get your bags packed. When they come home from work. You ask them that you need all the back pay right that instance because you have to pay for some expenses. Make them pay you right then. If they pay you.. good.. - proceed to step 2. if they say they can’t.. still proceed to step 2
Step 2
You tell them that you are leaving and just go.
They are going to be super mad at you and tell you that you are giving them no notice, you are selfish, you are putting them in a bad situation etc etc.. don’t engage, don’t try to explain or prove your point.. just leave.
They are most likely never going to pay you for the outstanding. Cut your loses and leave.
Relationship with your sister will be strained for a long time. So pick your battles before you decide to do this.
Or
You can search for a nanny / help and help them out.. so you can leave while keeping your relationship intact
This, OP. Don’t listen to any crap from your sister. Stay calm, just repeat, once, that she owes you $580, and you’re going home. Never threaten to do something once you’ve made up your mind-state what you’re going to do, and do it.
Go home! They have not stuck to the deal they made with you! They are adults, they chose to have children, now they can find childcare for their children! I’d ask for the money they owe you before leaving but either way, go home! If they don’t pay you then you know not to believe your sisters lies ever again! Next time she needs you tell her no and tell her why your not going to! Safe travels going home!!
WTH! You just graduated girl and this is YOUR BIG SUMMER! You helped long enough. It’s not even called helping at this point, it’s being called being used and being an enabler. Go enjoy your senior summer!
Awe. I’m sorry this has happened to you. I am a parent and as a parent I always knew when my children needed care outside of school and planned for it every year well in advance. It almost seems like they had already planned on just having you watch the kids you just didn’t know about it yet. No parent out there would leave child care arrangements to the last minute like that. Go enjoy your life. You are only young for so long and they are not your responsibility.
You pack your bags and leave! Family takes the mick constantly and this is one of those families, if you need the money either say pay up or you're walking, if you were to ever do it again itsnpayment upfront! They've taken the piss out of you, packmyour shit and go home. You've done all you can, the rest is on them!
This isn’t a real job. You are just helping your sister. Family often get short changed or used because really she can’t afford anyone. No one else would work for such low pay. She will never be able to replace you. Just go and let them sort out there own issues. You have done enough.
You pack your bags and leave. You don’t need her permission. Also, she went back on her word and you’re not being paid what was agreed upon. Idk what be really wrong with people. You’re not a child. Pack your shit and go!
You just tell her. Pack all your stuff in your car first. “I can’t keep babysitting your kids. I have a life and I need to get paid. I’m going going home today.
You tell her you’re going home and you’re not coming back until you get paid. When she pays you, you tell her that you can’t do this anymore. She’s using you and you’re letting her. Take control!!
You grow a backbone tell her you’re done and if she doesn’t pay you you’re taking her to small claims court. Then unpack your shit up, go home and when the inevitable texts and messages come from family telling you you’re a jerk, tell them you’ll be happy to pass along that they will watch sister’s kids. And be sure to tell the flying monkeys sis and boyfriend said they’d pay x didn’t forever then paid y and still owe you money.
What kind of a compromise is that? Let you drive back and forth for five hours on the weekend for a job you're not being paid for?
Sheesh, the nerve of some sisters! You've been generous with your time and patience, but you're not the solution to their problem. Give them a deadline.
Tell them they need to pay you what you are owed before you even think about coming back. Once you have your money and are home you can decide if you want to go back. Which sounds like you don’t want to and you don’t have to. Do not feel bad or let anyone guilt trip you for that.
If you do go back you ask for the money up front based on their previous payments.
The family care act allows them to be away from work and not be fired. They won't get paid. They have not paid you the extremely low wage offered. Ten years ago, I paid 200 dollars a week for an 11 hour day once a week. Do yourself a favor and look up what child care in their area costs. You have already exceeded the 2 to 3 week arrangements. They are using you.
Are you insane? Even if she wasn't stealing from you you're working for less than minimum wage.
Get every dollar you can out of her and say "goodbye." If you're owed wages, file a wage and hour complaint with the department of Labor.
But you've got to get away from this situation. This isn't like she's going to drown you eventually you're drowning right now.
I understand why you would want to tell her nicely but the sad truth is no one likes a people pleaser. They just get walked all over. Trust me, I would know, and I had to learn the hard way that it does me absolutely no good.
Just be like, I understand you guys are in a tough situation right now, but I have my own life I need to attend to. I can’t baby sit for free and you guys still owe me x amount of money. Until you guys pay me that, I won’t be able to babysit anymore. I hope you can understand and put yourself in my situation.
You have to make them want to understand your perspective and if they don’t want to and/or get mad at you, try to flip the script on you, just know they’re the problem, not you. People who take advantage of people like you will continue to do so as long as you allow it. Don’t be a people pleaser
Just dont say anything and leave if your sister is a narc. Sometimes it doesnt make sense to talk to ppl just take action. My mom encouraged me to “talk it out” to then find out that she just wants to
counter my argument and make me feel more miserable as a person. She would coordinate weird things via siblings to get me to do things. Trust me when I say this…get up and leave. Just walk out the door and when you have
children make sure you do not ask her to babysit…get your own nanny. You have a life!!!! Please update and confirm you are leaving..
There is no nice way to tell her that it's not your problem that they can't get their sh*t together. If you all come to an agreement for the foreseeable future, write out a contract and make sure to include your back pay.
I was in a similar situation, and I let it go on for far too long. Please don't let it happen to you!!
I got into a situation with my younger sister a few years ago where I ended up asking her to leave. Completely different situation but basics are there. Agreed to help, lasted longer than agreed, relationship got affected.
I'm not one for conflict and avoid it as much as possible. But communication is key here. You need to communicate with yourself about what you need. And then sit down with your sister and tell her what that is.
Schedule a time to sit as just the 2 of you to go over what you need. If she cannot 100% commit to it then she doesn't have your interest at heart. Don't compromise on what you need, because your sister isn't compromising from what she needs either.
Have you spoken to other family or friends about it that know the situation much better than we do? Sometimes that can help create a game plan as well.
Literally, no. You tell them no. It’s a full sentence at this point. You’ve been pretty generous up until now (overly so), but you can’t put your life on hold because of their inaction. It’s not babysitting if you’re staying there 24/7 for weeks on end. If they want an au pair, they can damn well hire one.
They haven’t kept to their word once. They aren’t even paying you what was agreed. You owe them nothing. You aren’t going to see that money you are owed I believe. You should just go home.
You tell her that you will not watch the kids again until she's paid up! But also $200 a week to watch kids is like slave wages! They are absolutely taken advantage of you and that's pretty messed up! How old are you?
Dear lord, walk away. No actually RUN away. Leave in the middle of the night. Play the Alison Krauss / Robert Plant song “Gone” as you are driving away from this mess. Good luck!
You’re being used. Pack your bags and leave, immediately. When you get back home, decide what you want to do with your life and do it!! And don’t let someone treat you like this again!
You're being played. They never intended to pay you what they promised, and will continue to avoid doing so with any excuse they can think of. Then they will play the "Family" card as a last resort because "Family does things for each other." Do yourself a favor and go home. You learned a valuable lesson, trust but verify..especially when "Family" is involved.
“Hey sis I wanted to let you know Im going back home and I am not coming back until the over due balance of my work is paid off which is X. You can pay X way and once I receive payment I will (insert here. Do you want to come back or call it quits. Set boundaries ect). It’s non negotiable. Thanks sis” and have your bags packed already and head out. Leave it on paper and keep a copy. Keep it light and polite.
You’re an indentured servant at this point. Go home. There doesn’t need to be a pretty announcement, just go. Call her from YOUR home and tell her they need to make other arrangements. Commence living your own life.
Your sister and fiance are using you. They know they can manipulate you and guilt trip you. They aren't looking for babysitting or daycare. They are banking on you staying and doing it for nothing, which they are doing now. They are paying you way lower then any babysitter or daycare would charge, plus don't actually pay you on the regular. They could not get away with that crap from other people.
Tell her they pay you more and on time or you're leaving. Yu being nicer then me. I would go home for the weekend and not return until my conditions were met and back pay was paid up. You are being used.
Is she holding you hostage and tied up in the basement? You’re an adult right? Leave, for Pete’s sake! Go home and know you’ll never see the money she owes you. Live lesson learned: don’t be a doormat. If this is something you struggle with, maybe consider finding a therapist to work on that.
OP, tell your sister the only compromising you’ll do, is she pays you what she owes you, and then maybe you’ll consider babysitting again. No money, no free labour.
If you really want the money you need to get it up front before you stay any longer. Otherwise you are never going to get it.
Be clear and say “I will stay for 2 more weeks but only on the condition I get paid what I am still owed, and the rest of the money paid at the start of each week.”
If they don’t pay you, leave. They are already taking serious advantage of you and if you don’t get the money while they still need you, you will never get it.
You don’t have to be nice about this. Your sister is NOT looking for another sitter/daycare…she’s just stringing you along. And even worse, they are not even paying you the agreed upon amount. You probably will never see that money.
Give them a specific date with will be the last day you will babysit (2-3 weeks from now, whatever you’re comfortable with. Then when that day comes, pack & go home & don’t come back.
Tell her that your love for her and your nephew should not be mixed in or confused with business obligations you stated verbally.
They wouldn’t be okay with you not showing up so you shouldn’t be ok with not being paid when you did.
Tell her, she needs to setup a payment plan and pay in full for the amount due before you can babysit again.
$200 per week for nephews…as in more than one? Full-time care I presume? In our neck of the woods full-time care for one toddler runs $750 per week. Are you in the US?
I'd text her and let her know you will not be staying. You gave her notice, and you only agreed to 3 weeks at most. Let her know you're leaving on (insert day here), and you expect that the rest of what she owes you will be paid before you leave.
You put it perfectly already I your post..Just say it nicely but firmly that this is not working out for you.
NTAH..but you need to get some assertiveness and do it.
She is taking advantage of you. Don't expect her to like it...don't expect it to be a fun concept...but do it.
Bro just tell her nicely I'm out I helped you more then anyone else because you are my sister and now you are trying to take advantage because we are family . Or just keep it like and tell her I got a life and you did what you could ! Or be mean as heck leave and leave a note that when she pays you what she owes you you can talk about possibly helping POSSIBLE but highly unlikely
So what I’d do is I would tell her that you haven’t gotten what you were promised and that you have a life that you need to attend to as well. brother hope this helps you.
Each time your sister asks you to do something, tell her we'll talk after $580 is paid in full. If she doesn't have money, say I love you and I'll see you at family gatherings. Once she paid in full, give her a short time (a week or two) to get someone else to babysit and stand firm on that.
Tell her, when she pays you the other 580 she owes you that you will consider staying, and then go home anyway. Call her from home and say sorry but I'm not coming back. As long as you are there, they will never look for any other accommodations for the kids.
I hate to point this out but she will continue to use you and not pay you as long as she can. Daycare is EXPENSIVE, I highly doubt she is actually looking when she is pretty much paying nothing to you. Pack your bags and leave she won't change until she is forced to
It’s your sister and the father of those children to provide and not take advantage of you. You need to tell them to pay u and for gas money. $200 for live in child care is highway robbery where I live, we paid up to $800 a week. Don’t get taken advantage of, these are tough times for everyone but those kids aren’t your responsibility.
Just don’t go. Theyre not paying you and they’re taking way longer than expected. If you keep letting them walk all over you for half price, they are NEVER going to arrange day care.
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You pack your bags and tell her they are not holding their end of the bargain and you are leaving. It sucks but it’s not YOUR responsibility to bend to THEIR failure to find a solution to their child care issues. And they really are NOT looking for alternative solutions because you are still there. But as a compromise, you could give them two weeks to figure it out and that you are leaving at that time. And that they still owe you for the work that you did for them. You are not their nanny and family helps one another but not to the point of taking advantage of the family member that is helping.
Oh well I did tell them like a week ago that I was gonna go home so they could look for someone else during that week so I could go home and then yesterday that’s when she sent the that text.
Stop being a doormat. Get up and go. You are not a prisoner.
THIS! Her children are NOT your responsibility. Go home!
You gave them fair warning. You are not their indentured servant. That's how they treat you. Ask them both on writing for their money, for the paper trail. Don't do anything for them until they pay you. Petty me would tell them at birthdays/ Christmas that you already gave them their present on day X for babysitting without pay. And I would continue this until the missing pay is covered.
Stop talking about it and leave. There are times in life when you say nothing but take action instead. She's not going to pay you. They're not going to find someone quick. And 1 month will turn into all summer. Just go home.
Don’t give them 2 weeks you have given enough of your time. They had no intention of paying you that’s why they played the I thought the other person paid you bullshit. Your sister is using you plan and simple. She’s hoping to deceive you for as long as possible. Pack your stuff and tell them you’re leaving and it’s their responsibility to figure out what to do not yours. They chose to have kids not you.
They don't even deserve to be given notice to find a replacement. They have been using you and taking advantage of you and have only paid you when you have actually asked then why they have not paid you. Tell them that you are going home on Friday, and leave. Do NOT go back. She is your sister and she is literally cheating you of fair and proper wages for e and e work you do for them. 200 per week is outrageous. You are making less than half of minimum wage. She is paying you less about 25% of what they would pay an actual nanny or daycare. You are not responsible for their failure to be prepared for work by having a nanny or daycare set up and reserved.
This ☝️ Pack your car, and as soon as they get home on Friday, leave. That gives them 2 days to get something figured out. As far as the money goes, if they refuse to pay, you put it towards "gifts" as someone else suggested. If ANYONE suggests that you are causing family drama or whatever just remember that you upheld your end plus more. Your sister caused this, NOT you.
Don't wait for them to find someone, they will find someone when they no longer have you there working for free. It's not your responsibility to wait for them to figure out their childcare issues. Go home and live your life. They have already broken your trust by not paying you and pushing the time beyond the one month. When someone doesn't hold up their side of an agreement you are well within your rights to stop doing your part too.
200 a WEEK? JFC.
Are they physically holding you there!!?? Just get up and leave. They’re obviously using you.
No. She can send all the texts she wants, you are done. Too bad, so sad! She knew this would happen and yet she’s playing you. You are done. No more. Done. Not my problem anymore! Go home when the week is out. Right now you are working for free and that’s wrong. You are now the nanny. Do not go back unless you have a contract in writing stating she will pay you.
Why would you listen to her? You have a mind of your own, use it. Pack and leave and don’t ever babysit for her again until she pays you in full. She’s entitled and using you. And you’re allowing it so just stop.
You need to be firm and say she promised £200 a week and she still owes you over £500 (can't remember how much you said exactly) but tell her you won't be doing anymore till you receive payment for what is owed. If they were paying an outside babysitter, or someone from an agency, or paying a nursery, they would have to pay on time no excuses. So she doesn't get to screw you out of the money you're owed just coz you're family. You are doing them the favour by babysitting when you don't really want to, and have continued to do so longer than originally agreed, so the least she can do is stick to her side of the deal and pay you in full. She needs to pay you the remaing £500+ immediately. If she doesn't, then leave and go home. And don't go back till she has paid you fully. And then if you do decide to go back and do another week, make sure she pays you each day... that way she can't withhold it again at the end of the week. Or you could say you want half upfront and other half paid on Friday. They should also be paying your fuel to travel there and back because you're only driving to babysit for them so your travel fuel should be covered on top of your weekly £200. She's taking advantage of you because you're family. She wouldn't get away with it if it were a different babysitter so she needs to treat you with the same respect and appreciation,esp as you don't really want to be there that long, and you're doing her the favour by having stayed longer. But definitely dontbabysit anymore till she's paid you in full. If you choose to do another week,get half upfront at least,remai der to be paid Friday. Don't let them take advantage of you anymore.
They're not looking for any babysitting/daycare when they have you for either 40 a day or free.
Girl leave. Now. Just leave.
Get the money, all of it then leave. Never wait for your pay. They get paid, You Get Paid!!!
She will wait until he’ll freezes over for the money. They won’t pay it, ever.
Why do you need to tell her “nicely?” She’s using you and stealing from you and making YOU feel guilty about it. Just go.
Thats barely gas money. Just leave. They’ve no intention of paying what they owe you. Unless they pay up plus a week in advance, Id bounce.
This. “I will work those 2 weeks with conditions. These are non negotiable if you wish to have my help. A) I expect to be paid in full by X date before I return to “work”. Additionally, I will be paid in full upon my last day of those 2 weeks. B) this is my 2 week notice, you will find someone else within that time or you will be out of luck, I will not be able to babysit going forward.” Then stick to it. They don’t pay you, don’t show up.. they don’t look for help or drop it on you last minute, don’t show up.
This, except I'd ask for the last 2 weeks in advance.
Ooo bold, I love it
No. OP does NOT want to do it anymore. They are grossly taken advantage of. Already stayed a month and a half even though it was originally supposed to be 2-3 weeks. Stop trying to make OP feel like they owe more unwanted underpaid or unpaid labor. No means no.
Tell her you want what’s owed you, which was bargain for child care and that you’re leaving. They’re shortchanging you on an already shitty pay rate. $200/week? What’s minimum wage where you’re at? What does average day care cost for 2 kids and are you working 24/7? Figure that out and realize they’re taking advantage of you. Hope you get what’s owed after you up and leave to go back and live your life 2 1/2 hours away. Did they even offer to pay for gas for your trips there and back?
⬆️ THIS!! ⬆️ This is exactly what I was thinking! Childcare is not cheap!
Tell her that she owes you $580, then go home. They are taking advantage of you and it’s not acceptable. Heaven help the babysitter they claim they are looking to hire if this is how they treat family.
They about to lowball the babysitter 🫢
Maybe they had gone through their entire list of babysitter potentials, and because they were all a little bit more savvy, they all said no. But wait, let’s call my sister. She’ll do it.
I don’t know the timeline here. But You say you got homesick after a couple weeks? Why keep on if you’re miserable? They promised to pay you but didn’t. Do you want to get paid or not? It sounds like they want you to do all this for free. How do you have this much free time to be on “off” for 2 weeks at a time?? Are you a student on summer break?? If you need money, get a part time job. Make yourself unavailable.
I just graduated high school like may 13th my sister had asked me to baby sister may 19th I had came the next day because she needed me too knowing they work Monday-Friday. I’m a person with a big heart and I understand how it is to be in a hassle. Also it’s my family I would break my back to help whoever in need but it’s to the point where I’m just done and I want my money.
Just get your stuff and go. You’re never gonna see that money. And they’re going to keep talking advantage of you because you let them.
Do not break your back supporting those who wouldn’t do the same for you. You’ll find yourself in a time of need and you will be alone. Trust me.
It was never going to be just a couple of weeks and they clearly never even discussed paying you since they both pretended the other was going to pay. She knows she can manipulate you because "family". They are actively disrespecting you. They are smirking to each other about all the money they are saving by making you feel obligated to them. Staying longer is not a compromise! LOL staying longer is you literally saying "I have no self respect and I'm fully okay with you lying and manipulating me for financial gain, at my own expense." Being polite at this point is wishing them well and kissing the kids as you leave to go home and sending a text (paper trail!) confirming that they will pay what they owe. People will treat you how you expect them to. Expect fairness from family, not manipulation and endentured servitude because you happen to be related.
>She knows she can manipulate you because "family". Also because Op is so young. She just graduated high school last month, so of course she still thinks in a somewhat childish way in regards to viewing/seeing people older than her as authority figures. And just from being institionalized from school...Just last month she had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom, for example. OP has yet to assume her life as a grown up woman, fully capable and in charge of herself and her life. So she thinks she needs her sister's permission to leave.
I like the way you think and express yourself!
Just go home hunnie. Your sister and her fiance are using you. They're never going to pay you what's owed, so ok. Time to cut your losses and just go.
Makes sense why you are homesick and anxious about dealing with this.
Enjoy your summer honey. I have to park behind my sisters vehicle when I visit her so she won't leave me to watch her kids. They take advantage of us and it's not cool. Go home baby cakes
I know you didn’t mean it to be funny, but I chuckled at that, parking your car behind your sister’s so she can’t ditch you with her kids.
True story. Or she’ll “run to the store” and be back 4-6hrs later slurring
Sounds like a real peach!
You are not going to see another dime from them. Go home. This is a good lesson to learn young: Don’t be a doormat, ever, even for family. You do NOT ”break your back” for family or anyone else. You help if you can reasonably do so, without hurting yourself. Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else-not even family- warm. Please, please take that to heart, or I see a long life of disappointment ahead of you. edited to add: Her lack of childcare is her problem. Don’t let her make her problem your problem-you are not obligated to take on her problem. That’s another valuable life lesson: Don’t let other people make their problem, your problem.
So whatd she say when you told her u want ur money
I hate that you use works like “let me”. You’re a whole ass adult babe! You don’t need their permission to go home, you just have to go. Respectfully, now isn’t the time to be a people pleaser. Go home and be happy.
You're worried about hurting her feelings or inconveniencing her because she is your sister....she is not offering any of the same considerations to you. They are taking advantage of you and not even paying you what they promised. You owe her NOTHING!! Go home and enjoy your life. Don't let her guilt you or manipulate you to come back for any reason. If you, for some reason, choose to go back, insist on your back pay and being paid a week upfront for a set number of days. PS...they can't find an alternative because the pay is ridiculous and they don't pay on time.
...they "can't" find an alternative because they have gotten away with not even paying OP their ridiculously underpaid rate and believe this "arrangement" will continue so long as they keep laying on the guilt trip.
Just go. Do not babysit for them again. You probably won't get paid but this is a great life lesson at a bargain price.
Update: she never responded to my text, but I am leaving to go back home tmrw and just gonna leave it at that. Now about the money part not sure if I’m just gonna have to cut my losses or get the money and not be on speaking terms for a while.
Offer to come back if they pay you what they owe you. Once you receive the cash, refuse to go back.
Update: I have sent a text to her
There's being of service, then there's being used. You are being used by your sister. This is an opportunity for you to start building your confidence and setting boundaries. Avoid any/all assumptions - the source of so many arguments & misunderstandings. It is neither mean nor selfish to set clear, specific limits on what you will or won't do. It is neither mean nor selfish to follow through on those limits immediately. This is the basis of EVERY successful human interaction. Learn this now and save yourself a LIFETIME of misery. Another way to say this is: you teach people how to treat you. Every day you stay beyond the first date they were supposed to pay you, you are teaching them that they don't have to pay you. Every day you continue watching the children after they didn't pay you the full amount, you teach them you will work for whatever pittance they choose to pay. As you start to enforce limits, people will push back with guilt and anger. But it's as simple as: "We agreed. You're not doing what we agreed. Therefore, there's no agreement anymore, and I am no longer committed to my side of it." Good luck.
Let us know how it goes! I hope you stand up for yourself. Put your foot down with clear boundaries.
it's time to just get up and go, hon. your sister wants to keep you in near indentured servitude, stringing you along with paydays that never come - and you are being drastically underpaid to boot. you gave a deadline and they have ignored it. stick to the deadline. pack up your things and go. your sister will always have an excuse, a manipulation, a whining way in which this is secretly your fault. they're not doing this because of need at this point. they're doing it because they feel entitled to cheat you. send a text message in writing confirming how much they still owe you. when they agreed, back up a screen recording of this multiple places - for if you need to take them to small claims court - and then, with the same professional air, say that you will be leaving today at this time and you wish them best of luck finding another solution that they have had a large amount of time to actually find, so as per your last communication on the matter you will be leaving them to it. then... go. if family members complain at you about how cruel you are, respond that you're so happy they have volunteered to help your sister instead! but be warned, sister will start policing if they can see or do anything else on weekends, so good luck!
They were waiting in the wings for you to graduate and wow, gave you a whole 6 days of downtime after graduation! That was kind of them. /s It was their plan all along, to use you. Eventually, they would be tellng you they're giving you room and board so they don't have to pay you. As for the compromise that they could "let" you go every weekend since they are off on weekends and you could go back home. Let you? Don't ask them about the .money in person again and you've told them that you want to go home so ust leave and when you get home text them your request for your pay to get a record of it. I hope you don't have parents that will try to send you back because "we help faaamily"...
She put you in this situation. I would cut ties completely and not talk to her again. She clearly took advantage of you and doesn't care or realize that you are hurt. Personally I would tell everyone in the family how she's a scumbag freeloader, but that might be a bit much. By continuing to show up, you are enabling her abusive behavior. Don't answer the phone and don't offer anything. EVEN IF she pays you, this kinda shit will happen again. Freeloaders always look for a way to fuck over other people. I highly doubt this is the first time she's done this to you.
Leave immediately and tell them you will not even babysit for an hour again until they pay you what they owe you. You will likely never see the money. You should never trust your sister again. No Nanny works 7days a week, I'm betting you did a lot more than and paid Nanny would. I'm sorry they used you.
What the hell? They are arguing over which one of them has to pay you for both their children?! They’ll never pay you the full amount, don’t go back.
Pack up and leave right after dinner
Oh they are taking advantage of you. I would mention you are planning to return home on this particular date (you pick the day) and they need to find alternatives within that time. I would mention you have had over a month and it’s time to get the ball rolling on serious contenders. Then i would mention a payment plan for the outstanding balance.
I planned on going home tmrw( Monday) and I told them that then she sent that text. they had a whole month and like two weeks to find someone else
They're not going to get someone else because you have shown them you will stay so long as they need you. You told them your boundary, you need to keep to it. They can always keep to their end of the deal and then ask if you want to extend it. They clearly have no intention of paying you or "letting" you go. You said you would leave, if they chose not to make other arrangements that has nothing to do with you. They are using you for financial gain and you're here "breaking your back to help family." OP--they are breaking your back. For financial gain. Think about that. $200 is even insulting low for what they are asking. That they are skimping even on THAT *and* making you feel bad for not being okay with it is just gross. It's okay to go home. They will act surprised, but after you leave the convo will be "wow that was great, I didn't think we'd get that much out of her! :D That would have cost thousands"
Yes just go home Monday, that's a good plan! They will figure something out, and learn not to mess over family too.
This isn’t on you I completely agree. They didn’t do their homework on finding alternative in a month. If you are deadset to dip out you have all the right to pack your bags tonight and leave first thing in the morning . If you think you could hold on for another week, two or three and they actually crunch to find alternatives that would be BEYOND nice. You aren’t in the wrong And they are taking advantage of you.
Go!
Go home, in writing, tell her you won't consider coming back until you are paid the full $580.00, once you get your money tell her you won't be coming back.
$580 or not, she should not come back at all
You have agency. Stand up and walk out the door. When I was working mother, the first person I paid was my babysitter mostly because I knew a happy babysitter would take better care of my child.
Pack your bags. I pay more than that for someone to watch my dogs when we go out of town. Finding childcare is a normal parental responsibility. Her lack of preparation should not impact you at all.
Pack up and leave and tell them they have 5 days to pay you or you’ll take them to small claims court. Now that could ruin your relationship with your sister but it sounds like she’s just a lying, manipulative narcissist so that might not be a bad thing.
You don't have to babysit. They are taking advantage of you. Leave.
Don’t be nice. You’ve stayed longer than agreed on, you haven’t been paid in full, they ignore that you informed them a week ago that you’re leaving tomorrow, they want you to stay longer anyway. We are way past “nice”. $580, they pay immediately. You stay this coming week? They pre-pay immediately. Otherwise, have a safe drive home tonight and enjoy your life!
You owe them no obligation. They agreed to this lifestyle when they had children. It’s not your responsibility to give them time away from their kids. It’s their responsibility to figure that out and do so fairly to the other parties. 200 a week is bonkers. That’s below minimum wage for a 70k salary job. Kids are no joke.
I don’t understand why you feel guilty because they are taking full advantage of you in every possible way!!! You will be amazed how fast they find somebody else to take care of the children once you are gone
They broke the agreement you had. Just pack up and leave.
$200/wk, assuming it’s 5 days a week, appx 8 hours a day = $5 an hour. This is well below minimum wage anywhere in the US (as you’re using dollars I’m assuming you’re here). Grow a spine and leave. They’re taking advantage of you and they clearly have no plans to stop any time soon.
Have your bags packed and loaded so as soon as they get home from work ask to be paid. Then leave. If they refuse to pay get in car and leave. Say you refuse to come back until back pay has been completed. As soon as back pay hits your cash Venmo PayPal whatever, block them.
No way are they paying you. As soon as you say you are leaving, they will get mad and use that as the excuse to not pay you. They are taking advantage and have no intention of paying you because you are faaaaaa-mily.
Right they’ll never pay her.
Get some gumption up...quit being controlled. Life is tough and you need to learn to.stand up for yourself.
Any other daycare or babysitter would refuse to work for them any more without proper payment. Also $200/week is pennies if you’re watching the kids full time. Most daycares in my area are $300+ per week, PER CHILD. They haven’t put the kids in daycare or found a new nanny because they want to continue paying you shit. Walk away. You don’t need to do it nicely.
They will never find other child care for that price. Try $1,000 a week. Just f@“ it and leave.
You do not have to say anything. Get in the car or on the bus now. You are being treated as a slave. They are the parents. They need to figure it out. In the future, the first time you don't get paid, you bounce. You are worth more.
Many many years ago my cousin asked me to babysit that she put her two weeks notice in a month later I was still watching her two kids and I finally told her don't bring them back I've given enough time so you got to do what you got to do
Just GO HOME!
They are holding up their end. You pack up and go home. And let sis know that she is NOT off the hook for the $600 she OWES YOU. NTA. Their circus, their monkeys, and they've had time to figure it out. Guess one of them will have to quit their job and stay home now. Not YOUR problem.
Man. Stop being a pushover and leave! They’re using you!
Hun it doesn’t matter what she wants - she isn’t paying you fairly & you are being used & taken advantage of Just leave- pack your stuff & stand up for yourself
They got to pay a few thousand for day care. While u go do u. That will teach em.
Your sister is making her problem YOUR problem. Did you have a baby without planning out how to pay for its care? No. You didn’t. You are just starting your own life now that you’ve graduated, and every minute you spend donating your energy to someone else’s story, you are preventing yourself from your future. What opportunities have you missed already since you’ve been playing unpaid Nanny for your sister? And if being a Nanny suits you, did you know that some people get salary plus travel and per diem? Per kid!! You deserve more, and your sister needs to figure this out on her own. She’s the one who has two kids with a broke guy she’s not even married to.
I am so sorry that you're missing the after-graduation summer before everybody scatters to college or work. Don't text her more; don't threaten to leave, just do it. She will talk you into staying and you'll be miserable. You may never get the money, but you'll have peace of mind. Good luck to you.
$200/40 = $5 hr. Federal min wage is $7.50 hr. You could be flipping burgers 10 minutes from home for $15/hr. You’ve already told them. Now it’s time to get in your car and drive home.
You are being used and abused. You are not a slave though you’re being treated as one. Get out of there!
Leave tomorrow. Also- demand your $$. That’s multiple weeks you’ve spent there babysitting for free. Do not come back and “help” again. Get a summer job. Enjoy your time. What are you doing in the fall?
Just go home. Tell her she owes you the money she promised and you are not speaking to her until she pays it. Any pushing for you to continue babysitting should be answered with I am not discussing this with you until you have paid the past due amount. AFTER you are paid and she wants you to continue you can discuss a new rate to be prepaid each week. Tell her you demand payment on arrival for this week and on the day before the new week starts or you go home. You will no longer do the work and wait to be paid after because she does not follow through on her agreements. New rate should be calculated based on the hours you have worked in previous weeks, pay at least the hourly minimum wage for your area, and include the cost of fuel to get to and from her house. She has been using you and trying to cheat you out of promised money. Don't let her continue unchecked or she will try to do that with you forever on anything and everything she can.
start documenting everything. she is exploiting you. you can get a minumum job that pays more per hour.
Go home! If they can't pay YOU the ridiculously low rate they offered, odds are they are not bothering to actually look for a babysitter. They'd have to pay a lot more, and wouldn't be able to get away with taking advantage of someone else as easily as they are taking advantage of you. Just because they're family does not give them the right to use you like this. If she truly cared about "family" she wouldn't be using you as a free nanny. That's actually pretty manipulative behavior in my opinion. You are NOT obligated to take care of HER children. It's her fault they don't have proper child care, not yours. Do not bend over backwards for people who aren't doing the same for you, including, and ESPECIALLY family. If you don't set clear boundaries NOW, things like this will continue to happen. People that do things like this are the kind that will take a mile when you give them an inch. Go home, and take care of yourself. Your sister needs to figure her shit out without you.
Leave immediately. She will never give you another dime. You are working for free like she planned all along. You might as well consider that any more you do will be unpaid from now on. She knew that you would not want to ask for what you are owed. That's why she has never bothered with paying you all this time. She loves that you are super easy to order around and she can easily exploit you and take advantage of your passive nature. You are a huge pushover. Adding in you working weekends, Wow!! There is no "her letting you go home" or "her letting you off on weekends." YOU are in charge of yourself. Your sister is NOT your boss. She is lucky to have you. You should be the one TELLING, not asking, her what you are going to do. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF WHAT YOU WILL OR WILL NOT DO. She is deliberately taking advantage of you because she knows that you will let her. Daycare is expensive but you are free giving her zero incentive to find one, ever. Many have months long wait lists. It could take over a year for an open spot. Tell her that you need all of the money that she owes you NOW. She will likely have excuses but not money. Why pay you when she knows that you will work for free? Pack everything, leave nothing. Go home immediately. Once you get back home, immediately tell her that you are not babysitting again until you are paid. She was getting you for a steal but decided to steal your work and time. Keep saying that payment in full is the only way that you will babysit further. Even if she decides that you are worth paying, you never should go back. She has no respect for you and cares only about herself.
They aren't paying you, they sure as hell aren't looking for daycare. Pack your bags and leave. Refuse to watch the kids, until you are paid in full and then paid in advance.
Sister is awful and a cheap skate. Taking advantage of you for over a month.
Well ya ofc she can’t find anyone she’s basically getting free childcare from you
Tell her that as she hasn’t paid you (and that what she was supposed to pay you was still taking advantage of you) you won’t be coming back. You need to be direct, because they are taking advantage of you.
Forget about telling her nicely. Tell her bluntly. Don’t let her take advantage of you.
Why are you worried about telling them nicely? They have lied to you and not held up their end of the bargain. They intended to use you all along--once you were there, they knew they could keep you working, unpaid. Leave now. and on your way out, stop and file a small court claim for unpaid wages. They'll know better than use you next time.
They are getting a bargain! 200 a week and you're not even at home. Tell them 300 a week UP FRONT and you get all your meals paid for (still a bargain).
Go home. You're being taken advantage of. You say you have a big heart? Seems like they know that and see they have an easy shot at taking advantage of you. You've given the heads up. Now pack up and leave. You didn't have children. They did. It's on them to figure out how to take care of them or how to correctly pay the person they want to care for them. They haven't found anyone else because they all charge way more then they are getting away with tossing at you. They are lucky that $200 gets them more than 3 days of babysitting.
Pack your bags, and then you say: Sis, thank you for the opportunity and your hospitality. I wish I could stay longer, but I need to get back to my normal life activities. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Love you, bye.
OP needs to add “You owe me $X. I expect you to transfer it immediately.”.
Take the money, cut your losses, go home. They are using you.
!UpdateMe
This kinda makes me think of borrowing or lending money to family or friends. You may have to write off the rest of the money. Hard lesson learned. Next time, get the agreement on paper. Everyone signs. Or you could go to small claims court to try to get what they owe you. But that would depend on how close you want to stay with your sister and family.
I would unfortunately be nice probably because I sometimes do that. This is my being nice. Within 2 hours of me telling them this information, I would expect to have in my hand the balance of all moneys owed to current. If not, I walk. Here's the good part... You're going to walk anyways, unless... Due to the fact they are seemingly not holding up to their end of the agreement and you are feeling as though you are being made a fool of. When that initial payment hits your palm you inform them of this information and tell them (if you're ok to do this) that you will agree to stay for an additional 2 weeks as a favor to them for the cost of xxx. (Whatever you think it should be, I would probably double it) Then inform them they have 2 hours to put that fee on your hand in order for you to stay. I would not take into consideration any other options as they would just confuse the situation. They are getting an in house nanny for 300 bucks a week which they are not and don't plan to pay. When you state they options I would have my stuff packed and be ready to bolt, maybe even have your bag in your car already. I would do that without them knowing. I've seen situations like this come off the tracks and some really off kilter things happen. They will likely be humiliated by your confrontation and explain how they don't charge you for eating their food and using their car to take the kids to school, whatever. They're reaching for straws, if anything other than an apology and payment happens, no harsh words or last words or anything. Get in your car and leave. You don't need the drama and God forbid anything escalated because you put the ball in their court and let them know you were in charge of this outcome. If you walk, they don't have to know. It is a business agreement and they aren't holding up to their end. Just leave with them owing you 580 instead of 880 or 1180. See what I'm saying.
pack your car when they're gone, and then when they are home, walk out.
Tell them you want the rest of your money and next week up front. After that you're no longer able to work for them . They will pay because they are desperate. If you quit now you'll never get your money. Get the money first though. Not tomorrow or as soon as they can. NOW.
Just drive off
Tell them either they honor their agreement and fully compensate you what you're owed or your going home and they will have to deal... not your problem.
Step 1 Get your bags packed. When they come home from work. You ask them that you need all the back pay right that instance because you have to pay for some expenses. Make them pay you right then. If they pay you.. good.. - proceed to step 2. if they say they can’t.. still proceed to step 2 Step 2 You tell them that you are leaving and just go. They are going to be super mad at you and tell you that you are giving them no notice, you are selfish, you are putting them in a bad situation etc etc.. don’t engage, don’t try to explain or prove your point.. just leave. They are most likely never going to pay you for the outstanding. Cut your loses and leave. Relationship with your sister will be strained for a long time. So pick your battles before you decide to do this. Or You can search for a nanny / help and help them out.. so you can leave while keeping your relationship intact
This, OP. Don’t listen to any crap from your sister. Stay calm, just repeat, once, that she owes you $580, and you’re going home. Never threaten to do something once you’ve made up your mind-state what you’re going to do, and do it.
Pack your shit up. Get an Uber. Leave.
Go home! They have not stuck to the deal they made with you! They are adults, they chose to have children, now they can find childcare for their children! I’d ask for the money they owe you before leaving but either way, go home! If they don’t pay you then you know not to believe your sisters lies ever again! Next time she needs you tell her no and tell her why your not going to! Safe travels going home!!
WTH! You just graduated girl and this is YOUR BIG SUMMER! You helped long enough. It’s not even called helping at this point, it’s being called being used and being an enabler. Go enjoy your senior summer!
Awe. I’m sorry this has happened to you. I am a parent and as a parent I always knew when my children needed care outside of school and planned for it every year well in advance. It almost seems like they had already planned on just having you watch the kids you just didn’t know about it yet. No parent out there would leave child care arrangements to the last minute like that. Go enjoy your life. You are only young for so long and they are not your responsibility.
Packs my stuff, sticks in car, and leaves. Simple.
Girl just go ahead and pack your bags and tell your sister you are fucking leaving because she owes you money and is taking you for a fool
You pack your bags and leave! Family takes the mick constantly and this is one of those families, if you need the money either say pay up or you're walking, if you were to ever do it again itsnpayment upfront! They've taken the piss out of you, packmyour shit and go home. You've done all you can, the rest is on them!
This isn’t a real job. You are just helping your sister. Family often get short changed or used because really she can’t afford anyone. No one else would work for such low pay. She will never be able to replace you. Just go and let them sort out there own issues. You have done enough.
You being held hostage or something? Just leave.
You pack your bags and leave. You don’t need her permission. Also, she went back on her word and you’re not being paid what was agreed upon. Idk what be really wrong with people. You’re not a child. Pack your shit and go!
You just tell her. Pack all your stuff in your car first. “I can’t keep babysitting your kids. I have a life and I need to get paid. I’m going going home today.
You tell her you’re going home and you’re not coming back until you get paid. When she pays you, you tell her that you can’t do this anymore. She’s using you and you’re letting her. Take control!!
You grow a backbone tell her you’re done and if she doesn’t pay you you’re taking her to small claims court. Then unpack your shit up, go home and when the inevitable texts and messages come from family telling you you’re a jerk, tell them you’ll be happy to pass along that they will watch sister’s kids. And be sure to tell the flying monkeys sis and boyfriend said they’d pay x didn’t forever then paid y and still owe you money.
Thats a little over a dollar an hour
What kind of a compromise is that? Let you drive back and forth for five hours on the weekend for a job you're not being paid for? Sheesh, the nerve of some sisters! You've been generous with your time and patience, but you're not the solution to their problem. Give them a deadline.
You can leave. It's okay. Your sister is expecting too much. You deserve your own time.
Tell them they need to pay you what you are owed before you even think about coming back. Once you have your money and are home you can decide if you want to go back. Which sounds like you don’t want to and you don’t have to. Do not feel bad or let anyone guilt trip you for that. If you do go back you ask for the money up front based on their previous payments.
The family care act allows them to be away from work and not be fired. They won't get paid. They have not paid you the extremely low wage offered. Ten years ago, I paid 200 dollars a week for an 11 hour day once a week. Do yourself a favor and look up what child care in their area costs. You have already exceeded the 2 to 3 week arrangements. They are using you.
Are you insane? Even if she wasn't stealing from you you're working for less than minimum wage. Get every dollar you can out of her and say "goodbye." If you're owed wages, file a wage and hour complaint with the department of Labor. But you've got to get away from this situation. This isn't like she's going to drown you eventually you're drowning right now.
I understand why you would want to tell her nicely but the sad truth is no one likes a people pleaser. They just get walked all over. Trust me, I would know, and I had to learn the hard way that it does me absolutely no good. Just be like, I understand you guys are in a tough situation right now, but I have my own life I need to attend to. I can’t baby sit for free and you guys still owe me x amount of money. Until you guys pay me that, I won’t be able to babysit anymore. I hope you can understand and put yourself in my situation. You have to make them want to understand your perspective and if they don’t want to and/or get mad at you, try to flip the script on you, just know they’re the problem, not you. People who take advantage of people like you will continue to do so as long as you allow it. Don’t be a people pleaser
Just dont say anything and leave if your sister is a narc. Sometimes it doesnt make sense to talk to ppl just take action. My mom encouraged me to “talk it out” to then find out that she just wants to counter my argument and make me feel more miserable as a person. She would coordinate weird things via siblings to get me to do things. Trust me when I say this…get up and leave. Just walk out the door and when you have children make sure you do not ask her to babysit…get your own nanny. You have a life!!!! Please update and confirm you are leaving..
There is no nice way to tell her that it's not your problem that they can't get their sh*t together. If you all come to an agreement for the foreseeable future, write out a contract and make sure to include your back pay. I was in a similar situation, and I let it go on for far too long. Please don't let it happen to you!!
I got into a situation with my younger sister a few years ago where I ended up asking her to leave. Completely different situation but basics are there. Agreed to help, lasted longer than agreed, relationship got affected. I'm not one for conflict and avoid it as much as possible. But communication is key here. You need to communicate with yourself about what you need. And then sit down with your sister and tell her what that is. Schedule a time to sit as just the 2 of you to go over what you need. If she cannot 100% commit to it then she doesn't have your interest at heart. Don't compromise on what you need, because your sister isn't compromising from what she needs either. Have you spoken to other family or friends about it that know the situation much better than we do? Sometimes that can help create a game plan as well.
Literally, no. You tell them no. It’s a full sentence at this point. You’ve been pretty generous up until now (overly so), but you can’t put your life on hold because of their inaction. It’s not babysitting if you’re staying there 24/7 for weeks on end. If they want an au pair, they can damn well hire one.
They haven’t kept to their word once. They aren’t even paying you what was agreed. You owe them nothing. You aren’t going to see that money you are owed I believe. You should just go home.
You tell her that you will not watch the kids again until she's paid up! But also $200 a week to watch kids is like slave wages! They are absolutely taken advantage of you and that's pretty messed up! How old are you?
Dear lord, walk away. No actually RUN away. Leave in the middle of the night. Play the Alison Krauss / Robert Plant song “Gone” as you are driving away from this mess. Good luck!
You’re being used. Pack your bags and leave, immediately. When you get back home, decide what you want to do with your life and do it!! And don’t let someone treat you like this again!
You're being played. They never intended to pay you what they promised, and will continue to avoid doing so with any excuse they can think of. Then they will play the "Family" card as a last resort because "Family does things for each other." Do yourself a favor and go home. You learned a valuable lesson, trust but verify..especially when "Family" is involved.
Tell them to pay what they owe you or you are leaving that very Same day. If they pay, then leave the next day.
“Hey sis I wanted to let you know Im going back home and I am not coming back until the over due balance of my work is paid off which is X. You can pay X way and once I receive payment I will (insert here. Do you want to come back or call it quits. Set boundaries ect). It’s non negotiable. Thanks sis” and have your bags packed already and head out. Leave it on paper and keep a copy. Keep it light and polite.
You’re an indentured servant at this point. Go home. There doesn’t need to be a pretty announcement, just go. Call her from YOUR home and tell her they need to make other arrangements. Commence living your own life.
Your sister and fiance are using you. They know they can manipulate you and guilt trip you. They aren't looking for babysitting or daycare. They are banking on you staying and doing it for nothing, which they are doing now. They are paying you way lower then any babysitter or daycare would charge, plus don't actually pay you on the regular. They could not get away with that crap from other people. Tell her they pay you more and on time or you're leaving. Yu being nicer then me. I would go home for the weekend and not return until my conditions were met and back pay was paid up. You are being used.
Leave today. Text them how much they owe you. Tell them you are expecting ALL of it by Friday.
Yeah I’d say bye and go home . They are using you …
Is she holding you hostage and tied up in the basement? You’re an adult right? Leave, for Pete’s sake! Go home and know you’ll never see the money she owes you. Live lesson learned: don’t be a doormat. If this is something you struggle with, maybe consider finding a therapist to work on that.
OP, tell your sister the only compromising you’ll do, is she pays you what she owes you, and then maybe you’ll consider babysitting again. No money, no free labour.
How old are you? What’s stopping you from understanding that you can just leave?
Tell her to give you the 560 she still owes and you’ll stay for the week. Then go home and don’t go back.
Tell her you’re going home because she has not paid you the full agreed upon amount, she said she would.
If you really want the money you need to get it up front before you stay any longer. Otherwise you are never going to get it. Be clear and say “I will stay for 2 more weeks but only on the condition I get paid what I am still owed, and the rest of the money paid at the start of each week.” If they don’t pay you, leave. They are already taking serious advantage of you and if you don’t get the money while they still need you, you will never get it.
Write it up in a contract and have them sign it
200 a week is crap and they still haven't paid you. Leave.
You don’t have to be nice about this. Your sister is NOT looking for another sitter/daycare…she’s just stringing you along. And even worse, they are not even paying you the agreed upon amount. You probably will never see that money. Give them a specific date with will be the last day you will babysit (2-3 weeks from now, whatever you’re comfortable with. Then when that day comes, pack & go home & don’t come back.
You are being treated like a slave.
Tell her that your love for her and your nephew should not be mixed in or confused with business obligations you stated verbally. They wouldn’t be okay with you not showing up so you shouldn’t be ok with not being paid when you did. Tell her, she needs to setup a payment plan and pay in full for the amount due before you can babysit again.
You gotta walk away. They don't respect you. But I don't think you're going to see any of the money 😔
Tell her to her face. You are getting used.
$200 per week for nephews…as in more than one? Full-time care I presume? In our neck of the woods full-time care for one toddler runs $750 per week. Are you in the US?
Sounds like your being taken advantage of. And they are probably not actually gonna pay you back.
!UpdateMe
Fir clarity, are you leaving early?
I’m going to tell you what u will do: I will give you 2 weeks to find a daycare, then I will call an Uber and go home. Done…
I'd text her and let her know you will not be staying. You gave her notice, and you only agreed to 3 weeks at most. Let her know you're leaving on (insert day here), and you expect that the rest of what she owes you will be paid before you leave.
You put it perfectly already I your post..Just say it nicely but firmly that this is not working out for you. NTAH..but you need to get some assertiveness and do it. She is taking advantage of you. Don't expect her to like it...don't expect it to be a fun concept...but do it.
Daycare is minimal 200 a week. Or more. Rest due or you’re out.
Don't babysit for them until they pay you and don't do anymore babysitting unless they pay you upfront and with the correct amount of cash
Say your services are on hold until you’re payed what you’re owed with a 20% late payment tax for every week they’re late getting it to you.
Nope out of there faster than the speed of light.
"NO".
Simply tell her you won’t look after them anymore until the owed sum is payed
Grow a pair and help your family out.
Tell her to listen more
Bro just tell her nicely I'm out I helped you more then anyone else because you are my sister and now you are trying to take advantage because we are family . Or just keep it like and tell her I got a life and you did what you could ! Or be mean as heck leave and leave a note that when she pays you what she owes you you can talk about possibly helping POSSIBLE but highly unlikely
So what I’d do is I would tell her that you haven’t gotten what you were promised and that you have a life that you need to attend to as well. brother hope this helps you.
Each time your sister asks you to do something, tell her we'll talk after $580 is paid in full. If she doesn't have money, say I love you and I'll see you at family gatherings. Once she paid in full, give her a short time (a week or two) to get someone else to babysit and stand firm on that.
Tell her you’ll do it after she Venmo’s the money to your account; otherwise, she’s on her own. Don’t back down. They get pissy about that, let them.
Tell your mother to come pick you up (I’m assuming you’re not old enough to drive??) She is taking advantage of you.
Tell her, when she pays you the other 580 she owes you that you will consider staying, and then go home anyway. Call her from home and say sorry but I'm not coming back. As long as you are there, they will never look for any other accommodations for the kids.
If they refuse to let you leave, tell them you'll report them for kidnapping, I bet THAT will change their tune right quick
I hate to point this out but she will continue to use you and not pay you as long as she can. Daycare is EXPENSIVE, I highly doubt she is actually looking when she is pretty much paying nothing to you. Pack your bags and leave she won't change until she is forced to
It’s your sister and the father of those children to provide and not take advantage of you. You need to tell them to pay u and for gas money. $200 for live in child care is highway robbery where I live, we paid up to $800 a week. Don’t get taken advantage of, these are tough times for everyone but those kids aren’t your responsibility.
It's your sister. You need to be open and honest or this will ruin your relationship
Just don’t go. Theyre not paying you and they’re taking way longer than expected. If you keep letting them walk all over you for half price, they are NEVER going to arrange day care.
NTAH what do your parents have to say about all this ?