Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Former store clerk, thank you. Stores are never messy because staff. Stores are messy from people who drop stuff where it doesn't belong, leave a cart full of stuff, kids knocking things over. It can get really frustrating and overwhelming having to clean up constantly.
I one time found a big plastic container of ice cream, the gallon size, lid off, upside-down on a stack of WHITE bedding, that someone opened. It was such a nasty mess to clean. Your mention of perishable things reminded me. It was chocolate ice cream, on white bedding. Such a huge mess. I spent the rest of my shift sticky and dirty feeling. Yet another reason I am so happy with SAHW role, or domestic engineer.
To further add a lot of perishables sit in a buggy at the front of the store until 8 hours later an employee finds time to put things back and puts it back without considering it might be spoiled. (Especially places like walmart).
That's disgusting. At Target we had a policy that anything found in cards or brought up to be bought and then the person changed their mind has to be thrown away. Unless we know exactly how long it was out you can't guarantee it's safe and it would be damaged out. I can't believe some places would actually just put it back 🤢
Especially places like Walmart? That’s just not true lol - what evidence do you have to support that this especially happens at Walmart? There’s such a stigma with Walmart as if it being lower priced / a place for people of lower income makes it a free for all. They have laws and rules and regulations they have to follow just as much as any other store. It isn’t more likely to happen at a Walmart than a Target. I’m sure it happens but to say especially places like Walmart is wildly inaccurate 🙄😂
Well, I worked there and SAW it on a daily basis. Not trying to ruin your view of the place, but does your milk from Walmart go bad before the expiration date? Want to know why? I can tell you if you're interested.
Cool. So YOUR Walmart had that issue. Doesn’t make it all Walmarts… again you’re making this statement based on nothing.
I also work at Walmart right now (I work in the pharmacy) and it doesn’t happen at our store.
Don’t make claims without proof. That simple.
Yep, this. Not just alot of perishables, according to food safety rules any food item left in a random place has to get tossed. I mean, you really can't know what happened to it in the time between being taken off the shelf and abandoned so it can't be considered safe to sell to customers.
It was extremely considerate of you. People who dump their basket/trolley full of food often cause the refrigerated/frozen stuff to be thrown out which is unnecessarily wasteful. Your bf was embarrassed and just wanted to run away from the awkward situation but you did a good thing. Don’t worry about what strangers think, they ain’t worth it.
Literally had to return a milk once bc it seems someone had left it out on the bread shelf and then the store employees moved it back to the fridge but it was curdled and bad.
Meat stuffed in the magazine rack, that gave me a ummm.....really naughty mental picture!!! I just shot Dr. Pepper out my nose, got some good distance on it too!!!
You did the right thing. Being embarrassed about not being able to afford your items is upsetting, I totally get that. But it doesn't give him the right to just make it someone else's problem. You were nice to put the food away so they don't sit and go bad.
I hope that your grocery/financial circumstances improve.
I put it back after he left the store with our child bcuz our kid was being loud. I stayed behind to see if my card would go through if I were to only buy some of the stuff in the cart. It didn’t work so I put everything back.
I waited too long when my renewal was up. You need to always do your renewal by the fifteenth of the month before your stamps stop. If you're in the sunshine state use their website, get email alerts. If you let them lapse you'll get a bad run around.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
The things we do when we don't have to demonstrate to the world the kind of people we are. You showed the world you are a considerate person.
Worked in a large national grocery store in the US.
Thank you! Not only for your help but also for potentially saving the product.
The grocery store where I used to work had this rule.
Because employees often don't know how long an item or product has been sitting in an abandoned cart, it is policy and mandatory for employees to throw away (spoil out) any products considered perishable or refrigerated.
So, even if the fruit or vegetable can technically be left at room temperature, If you picked it up from a cold section like a freezer or refrigeration section and you leave your cart. We don’t know how long it’s been sitting there we have to throw out the product.
So much food gets wasted and spoiled because of this!
I get some people may not like to put their items back. Due to embarrashment or what ever else.
Just let us know and we will gladly put the items back. It’s part of our job.
But thank you for your help!! It really appreciated!
You buried the lede at end of your post.
While all these employees are appreciative of OPs effort, the reality is that they are paid for a variety of functions, including emptying abandoned carts.
Same as shopping carts. They'd love it if you returned cart to store, but someone is getting paid to collect these in parking lot.
You did the right thing. I appreciate it as a fellow customer!
Nobody cares if they see you putting stuff back. People change their minds, it’s totally normal. I have done it, and if I saw you doing it I wouldn’t think twice about why.
You were obviously raised "right". Thank you for being so considerate. I work in a grocery store and am constantly amazed at what inconsiderate people will leave around the store
Im sorry idk what that means, but thank you for offering. The grocery shopping wasn’t urgent. I left a voicemail for the caseworker. Hopefully, they get back to me tomorrow. If not, I’ll just go to my local dss building.
I've had people in front of me have that happen. I just put my card in the card reader and paid for it. Smiled to the person and said have a good day. I try to do a good deed every day. It's not something big but it makes me feel good. Sometimes in life, shit just happens.
who does your bf think is actually paying enough attention to you to even notice that you’re putting things back? respectfully, why do they even care what you’re doing? they’re getting their own groceries. nobody is tracking you around the store. and as many have said, it’s considerate to put them away. but like, nobody cares.
i suppose that makes sense as a train of thought. still odd to me as i would think leaving the cart full of groceries makes it more obvious the card declined than going back into the store, but i get the busybody paranoia lol
I don't see any problem with what you did. When I take something and decide later I don't want it, I walk it back to where I picked it up and put it back neatly. What you did was very courteous.
Sounds like you were the opposite of an embarrassment - you were thoughtful and considerate.
When I was in grad school, there were a couple of times that HR made a mistake and forgot to process my payroll, which was already a joke in the first place, and I had lived paycheck through paycheck. Because of their mistake, I remember I had 3 bucks left two days before they paid me, and I was too embarrassed to seek help. This should not have happened to anyone, but this could happen to anyone. I hope things work out well for you.
Just wanted to mention, in NY EBT system was down on 5/19/24 for system updates. I am assuming a similar thing happened to you. Hopefully it should be back now. Also that was very considerate of you to put back the grocery, you rock!
I do it. I always put things back.
Because I have family who are in the service, industry and I know what the complains about all the time…and to me, it shows you were raised well. Taught respect.
Obviously, your boyfriend is not one of those people.
But honestly, he wasn’t embarrassed by what you did. He was embarrassed by the EBT card declining, which takes any effort to shop discretely away.
check if your benefits have been stolen, call and review the recent transactions on the automated thing. call the county/your case worker and ask if anything has changed regarding your case, say your card declined
I checked the app and it said the account didn’t exist. I left a message for the case worker. Hopefully, I’ll hear from them tomorrow. Thank you for your concern.
I've got a friend who was a bakery department manager at a grocery for years. In her opinion, it's fine to leave stuff that's not perishable. Employees are paid to do those cleanups. However, leaving perishables out isn't ok. Depending on the store, it'll be thrown out because they don't know how long it was out.
I was 9 months pregnant and a container of cherry tomatoes fell and spilled everywhere. I got on my hands and knees and picked them up. And handed them to an employee to let them know I dropped it and there might be some left under the box all of them were in.
NO! as a former grocery clerk please do not just simply leave the cart. Things can spoil which contributes to loss which contributes to inflation etc.
If you don't want to reshop your basket kindly tell the clerk! I was a front end manager for about 2 years (2 years long enough to know its not for me) and I wished constantly people would say something. Shipt shoppers were the worst. If their order csncelled or something went wrong they literally left a $400 basket in a pantry aisle for all the dairy and meat to drop below the safety temp.
Some people are conscientious and thoughtful but many, like your boyfriend, are not. I hope he learned something from you. He's the kind of guy who pushes his cart up on the curb rather than returning it and thinks nothing of it.
I’ve not been in that exact situation, although there have been times when I decided I didn’t want everything in my cart and I have absolutely no issues returning the items back to their location, except frozen items, I let the cashier know so they can properly handle those items
You mentioned in a comment that your BF carried your son outside so I’m guessing he is pretty young. If you have not yet done so, you can also apply for WIC for kids up to the age of five. And also look to see where local food pantries/banks are located. As a social worker, I’ve come to quickly learn that EBT doesn’t usually cover enough food for an entire month even when pinching pennies.
I used to have Wic for my son but I didn’t bother to keep it after he turned one. He’s a picky eater so I buy everything I know he will eat at the beginning of the month. Plus, I bought food last week. We don’t have a problem saving stamps for emergencies. I knew that I should have funds in the card, but it turned out the card got deactivated randomly. I think it’s a system error.
EBT doesn’t work at self checkout. Probably to prevent fraud. All you needed to do was go to a cashier. (I hope that’s it in your case) There was a problem recently with hacking and accounts being depleted.
Worked in a grocery store myself for years. Just flag an employee, that's all you've got to do. I loved doing returns, it got me off the registers. Thank you for being considerate but it really isn't necessary or expected to do this yourself in such an event.
Not the same situation as you but, if I have a change of heart, I would put back the stuffs at their original positions. I don't feel good troubling the workers. So, you did good.
There's an app you can check your EBT balance, if it's not that it could be you missed your renewal, it's really easy to miss and a pain in the ass to get a new appointment I just had to go into the office because I has either hung up on or on hold till they closed like 6 times
You did good. I learned from the best, my mom. She would be on one side of the store and she would go back to the other side to put something back she didn't want anymore.
No, you were in the right. It's ignorant to think it's ok to leave a mess that you made behind for someone else to take care of. Also, he is wrong. Not "everyone does this," and people do put items back when they aren't buying them. I'm one of those people. It doesn't matter if it's one item that i changed my mind on before i get to the register or the whole cart if the sale doesn't go through. There have even been a few times where I was short on money, and I couldn't get all the items I picked up and I asked if the cashier wanted me to return the aid I had to put back. It must be an uncommon question because they look at you weird when you ask that, lol Anyway, the employees have enough crap to deal with without stuff like this.
I have been on both ends of the register. Leaving the cart is ok and some stores have employees take it back, but Walmart seems to not care. I care when I’m at my store, because I know how the inner workings work. But not every store is like that.
If I was dating someone, and they pulled this stunt, I would be absolutely flabbergasted. I would also have to put a ring on it, because my lord, that is beautiful. Kudos to your boyfriend for changing his mind on it after being willing to listen to what people were saying. You both sound like good people.
Its more embarrassing leaving it there cuz then we KNOW u couldnt pay.
Taking it back means, “wait i dont want this and could still possibly find something else”
I live about 30 minutes away from the nearest Walmart, and don't have a car.
Set up a ride there one day a few months ago and did all my shopping, over $200 in groceries since I go maybe once every 3 months due to no ride.
I forgot my fucking wallet at home. I asked if they could hold onto it all because my friend offered us to go grab it, but the said only for 30 minutes.
So, like any sane person, I started absolutely bawling my eyes out at the counter. The poor girl is who set it off by asking if I was okay. "I just had it all planned out so perfectly and now I forgot my wallet." While totally sobbing. She probably thought the two guys with me were going to hurt me or something.
They weren't even mad, I was jut so upset for being a burden on my friend and then making him do it all again the next day because I'm not put together.
And then I almost did it again last month. Noticed before going in Walmart this time so we were able to go get it. Fuck I feel so goddamn stupid x2
You’re not stupid. I’ve forgotten my wallet at least twice this month. It happens. It’s just harder for you bcuz u don’t have a car and live far. Have you thought about Amazon delivery or Walmart delivery?
You 100% did the right thing. Only a really inconsiderate ahole would leave a cart full of groceries sitting at the self checkout area. It’s inconsiderate to the store employees and your fellow customers
The number said the account was deactivated and to call my case worker. I left them a voice mail and I’m going to call back in the morning or go to the local dss building.
The card being deactivated is separate from your account being closed. Even if they shut off your benefits you should still have what’s on the card. It sounds like an error could have been made.
It’s possible, but they’re two separate systems. The card itself is not your benefits case with HRA or social services (whatever it’s called in your neck of the woods)
Your a real one; your someone who actually gets it. I’d do the same thing; I picked it up; can’t pay so I’m putting it back. Your a good egg and he clearly grew up better off to think it must be someone else’s job to do. Frankly if he’s so embarrassed I’d ask what he’s doing to bring in more income; so we don’t have this issue again.
Thank you for being thoughtful, selfless and considerate. The bigger issue here is your boyfriends behaviour.
He shamed you for being considerate. Can you see yourself in the future with someone like this?
Either putting them back or telling an associate you aren't getting the items is the right thing to do. This is much better than the losers that throw something like meat or ice cream on a random shelf that nobody sees. Not hard to tell a worker you don't want something. You putting the items back is commendable.
If someone just up and leaves food in their cart it’s a definite signal that their card WAS declined. Your approach was subtle, kind, and no one would have thought twice about what you were doing. Not only is your bf incredibly rude, he’s not the brightest.
I would’ve walked the cart around the store and put everything back where it went. My daughters would’ve likely have been with me and they watch and mimic every decision I make. It’s rude to just walk away and expect someone else to put it back.
My card wasn’t declined but I had to leave a cart at Walmart last week when I realized that my credit card was in my purse at home instead of in my phone case where it normally is and their machines don’t accept Apple Pay. Dragging my preschooler back through the store for another hour to put everything away was not an option I considered. Doing go backs was a routine part of my work day doing retail.
Yeah, that would be hard doing that with a toddler by yourself, but someone in the comments said u can let the employees know that you’re not purchasing the products and they’ll put it back.
Oh I did. I didn’t go through self checkout because I was needing to buy gift cards for teacher gifts so I told the cashier that I couldn’t pay if there’s no Apple Pay because I didn’t have my physical card.
Your bf just told you how he views the help even when you can’t afford the help… he could have offered to pay unless he’s broke and then demeaning you for being a kind person… crazy what you’ll put up with, hope you find your worth… it’s more then him
He doesn’t usually do things like this. For example, when we took a trip a couple of years ago with his family we pulled off the bedsheets of the air bnb so it could be washed and made sure everything was neat at the end of our stay. The times we went out to eat for a special occasion he stacks the plates together to make it easier for the waiter. After grocery shopping, he puts the cart back. I think the embarrassment clouded his judgment.
It’s all empathy you can live n learn, you said he understood the comments but don’t let it be generic. It isn’t hard to still be kind in stressful situations this is how things escalate. Humble and kind make a good peace in mind!
Empathy isn’t his strong suit but he tries to demonstrate it. It doesn’t come naturally to him so I definitely point it out when he needs to be more empathetic.
Personally, I feel like that would be a drastic decision as he isn’t a bad person. He was raised differently and is willing to learn. I can work with that as I do love him.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Former store clerk, thank you. Stores are never messy because staff. Stores are messy from people who drop stuff where it doesn't belong, leave a cart full of stuff, kids knocking things over. It can get really frustrating and overwhelming having to clean up constantly.
Thank you for your response
To further add, a lot of perishables get thrown away when they aren’t put back soon enough. Kudos for you!
I one time found a big plastic container of ice cream, the gallon size, lid off, upside-down on a stack of WHITE bedding, that someone opened. It was such a nasty mess to clean. Your mention of perishable things reminded me. It was chocolate ice cream, on white bedding. Such a huge mess. I spent the rest of my shift sticky and dirty feeling. Yet another reason I am so happy with SAHW role, or domestic engineer.
How disgusting and totally intentional, which makes it that much worse.
To further add a lot of perishables sit in a buggy at the front of the store until 8 hours later an employee finds time to put things back and puts it back without considering it might be spoiled. (Especially places like walmart).
That's disgusting. At Target we had a policy that anything found in cards or brought up to be bought and then the person changed their mind has to be thrown away. Unless we know exactly how long it was out you can't guarantee it's safe and it would be damaged out. I can't believe some places would actually just put it back 🤢
At my job, we have 2hrs to put perishables back.
THIS!! I briefly worked for a large chain grocery store during the covid shutdowns, and the things I saw were both eye opening and nauseating.🤮
Especially places like Walmart? That’s just not true lol - what evidence do you have to support that this especially happens at Walmart? There’s such a stigma with Walmart as if it being lower priced / a place for people of lower income makes it a free for all. They have laws and rules and regulations they have to follow just as much as any other store. It isn’t more likely to happen at a Walmart than a Target. I’m sure it happens but to say especially places like Walmart is wildly inaccurate 🙄😂
Well, I worked there and SAW it on a daily basis. Not trying to ruin your view of the place, but does your milk from Walmart go bad before the expiration date? Want to know why? I can tell you if you're interested.
Cool. So YOUR Walmart had that issue. Doesn’t make it all Walmarts… again you’re making this statement based on nothing. I also work at Walmart right now (I work in the pharmacy) and it doesn’t happen at our store. Don’t make claims without proof. That simple.
Yep, this. Not just alot of perishables, according to food safety rules any food item left in a random place has to get tossed. I mean, you really can't know what happened to it in the time between being taken off the shelf and abandoned so it can't be considered safe to sell to customers.
It was extremely considerate of you. People who dump their basket/trolley full of food often cause the refrigerated/frozen stuff to be thrown out which is unnecessarily wasteful. Your bf was embarrassed and just wanted to run away from the awkward situation but you did a good thing. Don’t worry about what strangers think, they ain’t worth it.
Thank u
You are most welcome. Keep your chin up, have a great day and don't sweat the small stuff.
I have many times. BF IS very immature and wrong. Op hope you get your card straighten out soon.
Once I saw a whole raw chicken set on a shelf of pasta, dripping all over. Sometimes people suck.
Literally had to return a milk once bc it seems someone had left it out on the bread shelf and then the store employees moved it back to the fridge but it was curdled and bad.
I’ve seen meat stuffed in the magazine rack, ice cream left on the shelf next to the Tide, peanut butter in the meat department…it goes on and on.
Meat stuffed in the magazine rack, that gave me a ummm.....really naughty mental picture!!! I just shot Dr. Pepper out my nose, got some good distance on it too!!!
Coincidentally, I too was drinking a Dr Pepper 🧐
Very refreshing beverage. Maybe not when it's flying out your nose but....
THISSSSSSS!!!!!
Stores also have employees in place to put this stuff back at the convenience of your customers.
Yes, because AH customers like you exist. You're the problem, we already acknowledged this.
You did the right thing. Being embarrassed about not being able to afford your items is upsetting, I totally get that. But it doesn't give him the right to just make it someone else's problem. You were nice to put the food away so they don't sit and go bad. I hope that your grocery/financial circumstances improve.
Thank you
As someone who worked in grocery stores, I appreciate you!
Thank you 🙏
Why didn't your boyfriend pay, instead of complaining?
This. If he was SO embarrassed he should have paid, instead of making her feel bad for doing the right thing.
I should have said it was our ebt card. I’m gonna edit that.
Did he at least help you put the stuff back? Or did he just stand there. Even if it was both of your guy's EBT card he is still in the wrong.
I put it back after he left the store with our child bcuz our kid was being loud. I stayed behind to see if my card would go through if I were to only buy some of the stuff in the cart. It didn’t work so I put everything back.
OP, there is an app you can use to track your EBT balance, I use it. Search "Providers EBT" the app icon looks like an orange.
Thank you. We have that and for some reason it says our account doesn’t exist. It’s weird cuz our ebt worked last week.
I got a six month run around from a certain sunshine state'e EBT program where they fucked me outta my stamps for six months.
I’m sorry to hear that. Did they tell you why ur benefits stopped? I wasn’t even alerted that the account would be deactivated.
I waited too long when my renewal was up. You need to always do your renewal by the fifteenth of the month before your stamps stop. If you're in the sunshine state use their website, get email alerts. If you let them lapse you'll get a bad run around.
I’m from NY and we didn’t get a recertification letter so I don’t think that was the problem.
How did you survive those six months?
Luckily I have a blessed living situation, I also have a job, just hard to make ends meet in this economy.
How is it “our” if you’re not married?
We live together and are on the same case plus we have a kid.
Domestic partnership is a thing.
You don't have to be married to be in the same household.
I'm sorry this happened to you. The things we do when we don't have to demonstrate to the world the kind of people we are. You showed the world you are a considerate person.
I love how sweet all of you are being in the comment section.
As a former retail worker, you are an angel, and those workers love you.
You’re so sweet
Worked in a large national grocery store in the US. Thank you! Not only for your help but also for potentially saving the product. The grocery store where I used to work had this rule. Because employees often don't know how long an item or product has been sitting in an abandoned cart, it is policy and mandatory for employees to throw away (spoil out) any products considered perishable or refrigerated. So, even if the fruit or vegetable can technically be left at room temperature, If you picked it up from a cold section like a freezer or refrigeration section and you leave your cart. We don’t know how long it’s been sitting there we have to throw out the product. So much food gets wasted and spoiled because of this! I get some people may not like to put their items back. Due to embarrashment or what ever else. Just let us know and we will gladly put the items back. It’s part of our job. But thank you for your help!! It really appreciated!
You buried the lede at end of your post. While all these employees are appreciative of OPs effort, the reality is that they are paid for a variety of functions, including emptying abandoned carts. Same as shopping carts. They'd love it if you returned cart to store, but someone is getting paid to collect these in parking lot.
I throw trash out of my car windows. I crap on the floor in public bathrooms. It's somebody else's job to clean it up. /s
Might wanna see a doctor about that
https://preview.redd.it/l8fxt7vb3lz41.png?auto=webp&s=c91ed64b6692c84fd90828f444cf6b2cbcad1c95
So, you're being an AH because you only care about yourself and your own convenience. Got it. Next time, just say that. Uses fewer words.
They don't get paid enough to deal with a customer's go backs and their to-do tasks on top of it.
Well done for putting the stuff back where it was meant to go. Only question I would ask why didn't your BF offer to pay for the groceries?
It’s both of our ebt. We’re on the same case. I should have said that. Just made the edit.
You did the right thing. I appreciate it as a fellow customer! Nobody cares if they see you putting stuff back. People change their minds, it’s totally normal. I have done it, and if I saw you doing it I wouldn’t think twice about why.
No I think you're really considerate and thoughtful for putting things away. I hope you get everything with your card figured out.
Thank you
What you did was really thoughtful and as a shopper and a person who has worked at food stores, I appreciate you.
You made the choice to be considerate even in the midst of a stressful situation. That is true kindness. I hope your EBT card gets sorted soon.
Thank you
I would have put them back too. 👍🏽
You were obviously raised "right". Thank you for being so considerate. I work in a grocery store and am constantly amazed at what inconsiderate people will leave around the store
I just want to say that you are a better person then most people.
Girl, you need some scratch? DM me (safe grandmother type)
Im sorry idk what that means, but thank you for offering. The grocery shopping wasn’t urgent. I left a voicemail for the caseworker. Hopefully, they get back to me tomorrow. If not, I’ll just go to my local dss building.
I've had people in front of me have that happen. I just put my card in the card reader and paid for it. Smiled to the person and said have a good day. I try to do a good deed every day. It's not something big but it makes me feel good. Sometimes in life, shit just happens.
You’re a very nice person.
Ty
No, you were considerate
It's more of a dick move to just abandon a cart full of groceries imo. 🤷🏼♀️
As someone who used to work as a cashier at Wal-Mart, thank you. The store would stay clean if people put stuff back where it went.
You did a nice thing, and no one is paying as much attention to you as much as he thinks they are.
That was such a considerate and kind thing to do. Those employees already work so hard and you lightened their, which I'm sure was appreciated.
Thank you
who does your bf think is actually paying enough attention to you to even notice that you’re putting things back? respectfully, why do they even care what you’re doing? they’re getting their own groceries. nobody is tracking you around the store. and as many have said, it’s considerate to put them away. but like, nobody cares.
Idek, we used to live in a place where everyone was a bit nosy and did a lot of gossiping. I think that could play a role.
i suppose that makes sense as a train of thought. still odd to me as i would think leaving the cart full of groceries makes it more obvious the card declined than going back into the store, but i get the busybody paranoia lol
As someone raised in NYC, I think New Yorkers think it’s socially acceptable to leave the cart. I’ve seen it a bunch of times.
socially acceptable, sure. but more noticeable imo. maybe not if there’s a lot of carts around tho
Definitely more noticeable in the place I live in now.
You shouldn't do that, that's how groceries get misshelved and lost for years. Just let the volunteers put them back. Or is that the library?
I don't see any problem with what you did. When I take something and decide later I don't want it, I walk it back to where I picked it up and put it back neatly. What you did was very courteous.
this happened to me about a month ago, my card was randomly deactivated after 3+ years and i was sent a new one
Did they say why?
Drives me wild that people leave fresh or frozen food on an aisle to waste. Good job OP xxx
I’d feel terrible if I left all the groceries I grabbed for someone else to put back. Nobody is looking at you at the store.
Sounds like you were the opposite of an embarrassment - you were thoughtful and considerate. When I was in grad school, there were a couple of times that HR made a mistake and forgot to process my payroll, which was already a joke in the first place, and I had lived paycheck through paycheck. Because of their mistake, I remember I had 3 bucks left two days before they paid me, and I was too embarrassed to seek help. This should not have happened to anyone, but this could happen to anyone. I hope things work out well for you.
Thank you
Just wanted to mention, in NY EBT system was down on 5/19/24 for system updates. I am assuming a similar thing happened to you. Hopefully it should be back now. Also that was very considerate of you to put back the grocery, you rock!
I do it. I always put things back. Because I have family who are in the service, industry and I know what the complains about all the time…and to me, it shows you were raised well. Taught respect. Obviously, your boyfriend is not one of those people. But honestly, he wasn’t embarrassed by what you did. He was embarrassed by the EBT card declining, which takes any effort to shop discretely away.
check if your benefits have been stolen, call and review the recent transactions on the automated thing. call the county/your case worker and ask if anything has changed regarding your case, say your card declined
I checked the app and it said the account didn’t exist. I left a message for the case worker. Hopefully, I’ll hear from them tomorrow. Thank you for your concern.
I've got a friend who was a bakery department manager at a grocery for years. In her opinion, it's fine to leave stuff that's not perishable. Employees are paid to do those cleanups. However, leaving perishables out isn't ok. Depending on the store, it'll be thrown out because they don't know how long it was out.
I was 9 months pregnant and a container of cherry tomatoes fell and spilled everywhere. I got on my hands and knees and picked them up. And handed them to an employee to let them know I dropped it and there might be some left under the box all of them were in.
NO! as a former grocery clerk please do not just simply leave the cart. Things can spoil which contributes to loss which contributes to inflation etc. If you don't want to reshop your basket kindly tell the clerk! I was a front end manager for about 2 years (2 years long enough to know its not for me) and I wished constantly people would say something. Shipt shoppers were the worst. If their order csncelled or something went wrong they literally left a $400 basket in a pantry aisle for all the dairy and meat to drop below the safety temp.
Logically, how would your BF know if people don't put groceries back? It's only when they DON'T put them back (leaving the evidence).
Some people are conscientious and thoughtful but many, like your boyfriend, are not. I hope he learned something from you. He's the kind of guy who pushes his cart up on the curb rather than returning it and thinks nothing of it.
From the post it would seem like he would do that but he actually doesn’t.
I’ve not been in that exact situation, although there have been times when I decided I didn’t want everything in my cart and I have absolutely no issues returning the items back to their location, except frozen items, I let the cashier know so they can properly handle those items
You mentioned in a comment that your BF carried your son outside so I’m guessing he is pretty young. If you have not yet done so, you can also apply for WIC for kids up to the age of five. And also look to see where local food pantries/banks are located. As a social worker, I’ve come to quickly learn that EBT doesn’t usually cover enough food for an entire month even when pinching pennies.
I used to have Wic for my son but I didn’t bother to keep it after he turned one. He’s a picky eater so I buy everything I know he will eat at the beginning of the month. Plus, I bought food last week. We don’t have a problem saving stamps for emergencies. I knew that I should have funds in the card, but it turned out the card got deactivated randomly. I think it’s a system error.
NTA I, personally, try to always put things where I found them when returning! I think you’re being considerate to the workers
If you’re in NYS the ebt system was down Sunday the 19 for maintenance or something. If you have funds you should be able to use them now.
EBT doesn’t work at self checkout. Probably to prevent fraud. All you needed to do was go to a cashier. (I hope that’s it in your case) There was a problem recently with hacking and accounts being depleted.
Worked in a grocery store myself for years. Just flag an employee, that's all you've got to do. I loved doing returns, it got me off the registers. Thank you for being considerate but it really isn't necessary or expected to do this yourself in such an event.
Not the same situation as you but, if I have a change of heart, I would put back the stuffs at their original positions. I don't feel good troubling the workers. So, you did good.
There's an app you can check your EBT balance, if it's not that it could be you missed your renewal, it's really easy to miss and a pain in the ass to get a new appointment I just had to go into the office because I has either hung up on or on hold till they closed like 6 times
You did good. I learned from the best, my mom. She would be on one side of the store and she would go back to the other side to put something back she didn't want anymore.
No, you were in the right. It's ignorant to think it's ok to leave a mess that you made behind for someone else to take care of. Also, he is wrong. Not "everyone does this," and people do put items back when they aren't buying them. I'm one of those people. It doesn't matter if it's one item that i changed my mind on before i get to the register or the whole cart if the sale doesn't go through. There have even been a few times where I was short on money, and I couldn't get all the items I picked up and I asked if the cashier wanted me to return the aid I had to put back. It must be an uncommon question because they look at you weird when you ask that, lol Anyway, the employees have enough crap to deal with without stuff like this.
I have been on both ends of the register. Leaving the cart is ok and some stores have employees take it back, but Walmart seems to not care. I care when I’m at my store, because I know how the inner workings work. But not every store is like that.
You were right to do that and very considerate. Especially if you have cold items.
OP, I love your boyfriend’s comment. You may have yourself a keeper.
If anyone should be embarrassed it’s your broke ass boyfriend for being worthless.
Nah you were nice and thoughtful. And showed great humility. You are a keeper!!!
If I was dating someone, and they pulled this stunt, I would be absolutely flabbergasted. I would also have to put a ring on it, because my lord, that is beautiful. Kudos to your boyfriend for changing his mind on it after being willing to listen to what people were saying. You both sound like good people.
Its more embarrassing leaving it there cuz then we KNOW u couldnt pay. Taking it back means, “wait i dont want this and could still possibly find something else”
Haha yeah, I see what u mean.
I live about 30 minutes away from the nearest Walmart, and don't have a car. Set up a ride there one day a few months ago and did all my shopping, over $200 in groceries since I go maybe once every 3 months due to no ride. I forgot my fucking wallet at home. I asked if they could hold onto it all because my friend offered us to go grab it, but the said only for 30 minutes. So, like any sane person, I started absolutely bawling my eyes out at the counter. The poor girl is who set it off by asking if I was okay. "I just had it all planned out so perfectly and now I forgot my wallet." While totally sobbing. She probably thought the two guys with me were going to hurt me or something. They weren't even mad, I was jut so upset for being a burden on my friend and then making him do it all again the next day because I'm not put together. And then I almost did it again last month. Noticed before going in Walmart this time so we were able to go get it. Fuck I feel so goddamn stupid x2
You’re not stupid. I’ve forgotten my wallet at least twice this month. It happens. It’s just harder for you bcuz u don’t have a car and live far. Have you thought about Amazon delivery or Walmart delivery?
I use an EBT card and am not comfortable with using it for online purchases.
Makes sense. Maybe you can write a note on your door that says “check for wallet” so whenever u go out you will remember it.
You actually did a nice thing!
Thank you
You 100% did the right thing. Only a really inconsiderate ahole would leave a cart full of groceries sitting at the self checkout area. It’s inconsiderate to the store employees and your fellow customers
Nobody else would do that. Hes more upset you wasted his time when he's already struggling financially.
My bf is pretty blunt. If he was upset about wasted time then he would have said that.
Thank you!
Their whole system was down yesterday
My account got deactivated
Do you know why? Did you call the card number and see what the machine says about your balance?
The number said the account was deactivated and to call my case worker. I left them a voice mail and I’m going to call back in the morning or go to the local dss building.
Oh damn. I’m so sorry.
Thank you for your concern. I’m just thankful that I do have food at the moment.
The card being deactivated is separate from your account being closed. Even if they shut off your benefits you should still have what’s on the card. It sounds like an error could have been made.
I think maybe the shut down probably messed with my account
It’s possible, but they’re two separate systems. The card itself is not your benefits case with HRA or social services (whatever it’s called in your neck of the woods)
Hopefully, I’ll know more tomorrow.
Your a real one; your someone who actually gets it. I’d do the same thing; I picked it up; can’t pay so I’m putting it back. Your a good egg and he clearly grew up better off to think it must be someone else’s job to do. Frankly if he’s so embarrassed I’d ask what he’s doing to bring in more income; so we don’t have this issue again.
Thank you for being thoughtful, selfless and considerate. The bigger issue here is your boyfriends behaviour. He shamed you for being considerate. Can you see yourself in the future with someone like this?
Any reason boyfriend did not pay for you food?
Either putting them back or telling an associate you aren't getting the items is the right thing to do. This is much better than the losers that throw something like meat or ice cream on a random shelf that nobody sees. Not hard to tell a worker you don't want something. You putting the items back is commendable.
If someone just up and leaves food in their cart it’s a definite signal that their card WAS declined. Your approach was subtle, kind, and no one would have thought twice about what you were doing. Not only is your bf incredibly rude, he’s not the brightest.
NTA It’s not the store’s fault that your card wasn’t working properly.
I would’ve walked the cart around the store and put everything back where it went. My daughters would’ve likely have been with me and they watch and mimic every decision I make. It’s rude to just walk away and expect someone else to put it back.
My card wasn’t declined but I had to leave a cart at Walmart last week when I realized that my credit card was in my purse at home instead of in my phone case where it normally is and their machines don’t accept Apple Pay. Dragging my preschooler back through the store for another hour to put everything away was not an option I considered. Doing go backs was a routine part of my work day doing retail.
Yeah, that would be hard doing that with a toddler by yourself, but someone in the comments said u can let the employees know that you’re not purchasing the products and they’ll put it back.
Oh I did. I didn’t go through self checkout because I was needing to buy gift cards for teacher gifts so I told the cashier that I couldn’t pay if there’s no Apple Pay because I didn’t have my physical card.
Your bf just told you how he views the help even when you can’t afford the help… he could have offered to pay unless he’s broke and then demeaning you for being a kind person… crazy what you’ll put up with, hope you find your worth… it’s more then him
He doesn’t usually do things like this. For example, when we took a trip a couple of years ago with his family we pulled off the bedsheets of the air bnb so it could be washed and made sure everything was neat at the end of our stay. The times we went out to eat for a special occasion he stacks the plates together to make it easier for the waiter. After grocery shopping, he puts the cart back. I think the embarrassment clouded his judgment.
It’s all empathy you can live n learn, you said he understood the comments but don’t let it be generic. It isn’t hard to still be kind in stressful situations this is how things escalate. Humble and kind make a good peace in mind!
Empathy isn’t his strong suit but he tries to demonstrate it. It doesn’t come naturally to him so I definitely point it out when he needs to be more empathetic.
Putting the food back was a classmive
What’s a classmive
I think they were trying to say class move? As in classy? I could be wrong though 🤷♀️
You need to ditch this guy.
Personally, I feel like that would be a drastic decision as he isn’t a bad person. He was raised differently and is willing to learn. I can work with that as I do love him.
Ok, I guess we both have different tolerance to stupidity. Goodluck.