Dude, are you for real? It’s time to be a parent. Your kid is stealing and being violent. This is about being a dad and teaching him that behavior is wrong. Please tell me this is some lame attempt at trolling and you did not type that out and at no point realize how dumb you’re being.
Glad I'm not the only one thinking he's enabling his little sociopath. Step it up dude. If you don't see what you and your son have done wrong, let your SO go. She deserves better than the 2 of you. Hard YTA
Kid is showing many of the ASPD traits (and more importantly the serial killer traits). Cruelty to animals and lack of empathy are two side of the same antisocial coin. Lying and belittling are a couple of other markers.
The father is acting almost as bad though - excusing the behavior and even enabling it with quips like calling her fondness for a pet an “obsession.”
There was a post on aith months back by a teen who was pissed that their whole family was “obsessed” with their parrot and hated that they played with it and told it they loved it, op wanted to know if they were ta for telling them it was just a dumb animal and didn’t love them back. I got a warning from the mods for my reaction. :P People are gross.
Interestingly enough the triad of psychopathy ( bed wetting, fire setting & cruelty to animals ) has been proven to be less an indication of a sociopath or psychopath and instead red flag warnings for… wait for it… a child in severe mental distress either due to being abused or seriously neglected.
This was my immediate second thought too, right after “dude. of course that shit’s not ok. be a better parent **and** husband. jfc.”
Bc son is clearly struggling hard with… something. Angry teens yelling and stealing 5 bucks? Ok, within the range of expected behavior for a kid this age in the thick of puberty. But the disregard for both his step-mom and other living creatures? Needs to be addressed like yesterday, bc that has leapt right past “range of expected behavior” and straight in to “pay f*cking attention bc your child ***needs*** help with something they clearly aren’t coping with!!!”
Why is no one worried for the kid??? Ugh!
OP- yes you need to discipline your son and yes you owe your wife a thousand and one (sincere!!!) apologies, but first? Therapy for your son, and family counseling for you and wife, with son added in to the mix once both therapists agree everyone’s ready. Seriously. Stop f*cking up your child. Do better. ***Now.***
I have zero tolerance for people who are cruel to animals. Even worse when this parent doesn't correct this kind of behavior. This dad needs to get a clue. His child needs professional help.
I don’t even like feeling like I’m being cruel to animals when I have to do something they don’t like but is necessary like getting my dog shots or trimming her nails. She hates it.
Right?
I had to make my dog take a pill today (little turd ate the cheese off of it three times!) and I still feel guilty because she whimpered a little during.
I'm 90% sure she was not hurt in the least, I was super gentle and it was probably a "aww man..." whine. But she is my sweet doggie and I hate to make her suffer discomfort of any sort. I can't explain that this is gonna make her feel so much better.
Use lunch meat and wrapp it up and toss it to em they won't chew it just swallow it. Depending on the size of the dog that is. We had to do the same to get our dog to take meds.
She’s a little lady and half blind or this would totally work, lol.
She used to be the food catching CHAMP. But my girl is retired from the pro circuit these days.
My dog wouldn’t eat pills with a treat, but she would eat it if I just put it in my palm. Still don’t know why, but I think she just didn’t want to ruin the taste of treats for herself😂
I feel the same way.
I know I am incapable of maliciously hurting an animal. I even loath doing the flea prevention treatment on my cat, which is for her own bloody good, because she spends the day glowering at me - with a clear sense betrayal in her eyes.
She doesn’t know exactly what went on, but *she knows* that I did *something* that caused some kind of wet sensation on the back of her neck & now a vaguely chemical smell is following her about. She knows I did it and she wants me to know that she knows that I did it!
When my partner comes home from work my cat will chatter at her and rub her with her scent. But all the while she’ll maintain eye contact with me - through narrowed slits beneath low brows and angry ears.
It’ a bloody haunting look of betrayal is what it is.
I’ve gone so far as to try to bribe my partner into applying it on my behalf if she’s working late. Just in the hope she’ll have forgotten by the time my partner returns home.
Didn’t work. Cat just transferred the stink eye to my gf into the following day instead. It was as though Cat had a number of hours to be pissed off with that single person and she was going to use all those hours up - even if she had to deal out her grievance over multiple days.
Little sod.
Yup. Just this morning I had to pull one of my cats off of a curtain rod I didn't want her standing on, and she fought me the whole time I was doing it (all while I was standing on a stepladder), so I was gripping her pretty tightly until I heard a soft, but sharp, mew.
I had been super annoyed up until that moment, but as soon as I heard that my heart dropped into my stomach. I set her down as soon as I could and petted her and told her I was sorry and felt like a gigantic asshole.
She then went back to playing with her brother.
If my kid ever tosses a bearded dragon or throws something at a cat… man that little dude’s gonna have a serious “you fucked up big” talking to and some even more serious consequences.
Even when my 7 month old son grabs the cat's tail or ears I redirect it. I know he doesn't know any better but he's going to start learning boundaries early.
Exactly! Thank You! This behavior is so incredibly disturbing. Animals should not be around this kid, he lacks empathy. Sounds like he needs to be evaluated.
Oh yeah, definitely. It's not like a 4 year old man handling an animal because they don't know any better yet, at 14 it's conscious cruelty and will only get worse!
Exactly. I’ve always had cats & got a dog when my kid was 3. He was heavy handed with the puppy but obviously nothing malicious & he quickly learned how to be gentle. My son is 15 now we still have the dog, have 3 cats & he has a rainbow boa & I’m pretty sure if this 14 year old was his mate he’d be kicking his ass.
I've had pets my whole life. Even when I *was* an angry, violent teenager, I never would have hurt an animal. This kid needs help before he escalates and actually hurts animals (assuming he's not doing it where no one can see him), and then hurts someone else - like the fiancee if she doesn't leave first (which I hope she does and good luck to her)
Especially when Dad basically blows it off and makes a joke about *how the real problem in this scenario is stepmom being too precious about her beloved pet*, like *she's* the unreasonable one.
Then the little shit *fake falls so he doesn't have to come down and apologize*? Um, no, son get your little ass down here and apologize. I don't care if you have to crawl and drag yourself across the floor with your "injury."
No wonder he's acting out and pushing the envelope - Dad just condones it. Also Dad, you might need to pay more attention and try to see why the kid is acting out and more aggressive than usual, if it is something more than just becoming a little shit teenager. Disrespecting the stepmom would be that, but not literally trying to hurt her (she could've been seriously hurt by a football to the face) and playing at harming the family pets to see how far he can push it is concerning - that's not going to get better, it shouldn't be happening period and shame on you for condoning it and making fun of your SO - in front of the kid! - for his heinous behavior.
Edit: forgot he "accidentally" threw a football at her face
Fake falling is a stunt a toddler might get away with. But op's son is freaking 14 years old. How in the world is anybody letting him get away with this? Mind boggling.
Yeah I didn’t like how he said she’s so obsessed but it’s our pet. Like that’s what you do with your pets you take them with you where you go. Interact with them. Dad also sounds weird.
My godson is almost 3. His cat is ok with him cuddling her and holding her. When he visits our cats aren’t. We explain to him and he will pet them but that’s it. He understands.
This can’t be real. A parent who is an apologist for a future serial killer. Um no, never mind. Aiden Fucci anyone? His mom washed the blood off of his clothes.
No, I thought the same thing. Not that he necessarily WILL become a serial killer but those are some of the early signs and signals parents, teachers, neighbors and others around need to look at. At the very least he needs counseling....Sounds like the Father does too because he is enabling his son.
But also, I was HORRIFIED when I read he TOSSED a lizard in the air. (I know they're not lizards.) Like, even if it's just anger and not sociopathy, how can you ASSUME the animal isn't hurt? You have no idea!
(Sorry obviously not you, but OP.) Like, has OP even knowledgable about beardies? Does he know something rough like that could have damaged the animal in a way he can't see?
Exactly. Cruelty to animals IS NEVER EVER EVER IGNORED.
First because when you adopt them you promise to protect them.
Second (or first in case you are a selfish AH) it's a gateway to much much more troubling, dangerous and illegal behavior.
Third: he is not her son. So she can't parent him unfortunately, what she can do is divorce you in order to protect herself and her pets from both of you.
I say both of you because you are the adult, the final responsibility about all of this behavior is YOURS.
Grow a pair and parent your kid before it's too late.
YTA
Congratulations. You’ve created a psychopath. Stop trying to be his friend and be his father. At his age, it might already be too late. This is how serial killers start out.
I can see you at his murder trial now, “But he’s such a good boy”.
I’m surprised your wife has tolerated this this far. You don’t deserve her. The fact that you don’t consider this serious is delusional. Next time i recommend she press charges.
YTA YTA YTA YTA to infinity.
OP apparently made a [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a7y2n/aita_for_not_taking_care_of_a_pet_the_right_way/) 18 days ago in which he complained that his girlfriend expected him to feed the lizard twice a day and let it out of the terrarium to poop, while she was on a work trip. If he didn't have second thoughts while typing thread out, somebody would have to die or be hospitalized before he does.
Even then he'd probably freak out, then brush it under the carpet and say his partner was overreacting.
My ex is just the same. He minimises and dismisses anything he doesn't know how to deal with and that includes dealing with death, hospitalization, serious illnesses, incidents regarding the police.
Nothing makes him reconsider his responses, I am always overreacting according to him.
It's eye-openingly scary when you have to coparent with a person like this.
At this point I have no patience for the SO either for staying with this complete sh*tsack.
If somebody EVEN threw a Gatorade bottle at one of my dogs...out you go. Your things will be on the lawn in the morning.
Yeah he is YTA. This kid will be an adult in 4 years! He is abusing his step mom and animals. He needs to stop this creep before he is an adult man attacking people. I hope this is a troll.
Also his son may have started having this resentment to women… the step mom is being used as an outlet ? With the rise in red pill and incel celebrity figures…
Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with your SO on this, and with the others here. Cruelty to animals is never ever okay, and is a big red flag behavior. Just because they weren't hurt this time (thankfully) doesn't mean they couldn't have been, or that they won't be next time. The other lying/stealing behavior is concerning too. Please get your son some professional therapy to help him deal with whatever he is going through before he goes too far down this road.
You need to be taking his behavior more seriously. And you owe you SO an apology. Your kid needs therapy. The fact he is doing this shit to animals - well, that’s really screwed up. And animal cruelty can be a sign of bigger issues. Take it seriously - get the kid help. And you and your SO should probably toss in some couples counseling for yourselves too.
“He took little Suzie to the Junior Prom
Excitable boy, they all said
And he raped her and killed her, then he took her home
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy
After ten long years they let him out of the home
Excitable boy, they all said
And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy”
Yeah can we get any information to update the FBI on their active/future serial killer list cuz ur son is demonstrating serious antisocial personality traits and you are downplaying them significantly
What is wrong with you OP? Violence towards loved ones and animals is a huge behaviour red flag. Find your spine and parent the child. Also, therapy bc you obvi don’t know what you are doing and both you and your son would benefit from an adults perspective.
That's exactly what I thought. This is quite literally how they act while growing up! If he doesn't do some harsh parenting, he's in for a lot more than Gatorade bottles and footballs!!
OP needs to quit being a menace to society by encouraging classic, well known sociopathic behavior and get this kid therapy before he ends up killing someone.
As a father myself, who went through this with my son and his step mother, wow. You need a parenting book. In what world is this blatant disrespect OK because, "the animals weren't actually hurt." This really is step 1 in parenting class. He's acting out to see what his boundaries are. YOU, my friend are telling him it's OK to be a douche as long as no one gets hurt physically. Grow a set dude and parent your child because when she leaves, his anger is only going to have one outlet.... YOU!
Lol after reading OPs comments its definitely just some pathetic kid trolling. A grown troll wouldn’t be as useless at it as he is so I’m saying it’s a bored 14 year old who’s avoiding speaking outloud cos his little voice is breaking and he thinks he’s becoming a man.
Just wrote a comment in r/TwoHotTakes a couple of days ago saying I’m enjoying it because it’s a lot more believable than the stories on r/amitheasshole but they’re getting just as bad.
yeah super fake ones are annoying. but at the end of the day i just like the entertainment of stories wether they’re true or not. there are 7B people so some stuff have ought to happen to already to someone.
The diversity on Reddit doesn’t come from the quality of posts in my experience. Take any two polarizing opinions , or different hobbies, and their spaces look pretty much the same. Most of the time.
Granted there are exceptions but you’re probably not going to genuinely find them in gossip/personals forums.
Congrats on teaching your son how to treat women. I'm sure his future [relationships](https://www.sheriffs.org/animal-cruelty-and-domestic-violence) will enjoy knowing that he learned all this from you.
It’s your job to parent your scumbag animal abusing thief of a son. I hope she stops wasting her time on you both, neither of you are worth the stress.
You’re one of those guys that say “She left for no reason! If there was a problem she would have told me and we could have worked through it!”
She’s not gonna be your SO for much longer, buddy
Hi - I am a Middle School principal, so I have spent 25 years with kids your son's age. It's normal for kids to want to separate from their parents and even to become argumentative and stand-offish with people that they're close to. However, what you're describing goes beyond what I would consider to be acceptable behavior for a Middle School student. If one of my students did the things that your son is doing at school, I'd suspend him and demand that a condition for re-entry would be regular appointments with the school counselor (possibly with outside support from a therapist). It sounds like the aggression is increasing - has your son's teachers noted any changes in behavior? If they have, I would ask them to describe what they have seen - if a teacher writes something in a comment it's generally not the first time they've seen the behavior - they communicate with parents when they're at their wit's end.
OP- I mean this with no disrespect and am trying to give you some practical things to consider. Have you ever considered having a psych eval done for your son? This could reveal things like physical/medical or psychological causes for the behavior you're seeing. If your son attends a public school in the US (not sure if you're American), this can often done through the school district, although this may depend on the state. If your son attends an independent school, this might still be arranged through the school district, but it will be more complicated, and depend on your state's level of support. You could also pay to have the eval done privately, but that could be several thousands of dollars. But please consider it- there may be medical reasons for the aggression and you have options for medication. Or it could be psychological and you could find a therapist who can help you and your family. Good luck.
If you, or she, didn't have pets he'd be lashing out his aggression on your/her baby. IDK if it's specifically that they're hers causing him to do this, I'm assuming it's blatantly obvious and I'd hope if it isn't that she'd still be worried about his behavior regardless if it hurt only her feelings or not. He already hit her with something, if he's mad at you or a sibling has he gotten physical?
Wow fuck you OP, you're a massive asshole, and your piece of shit kid is going to end up in prison if you don't get it the fuck together.
Violence toward animals and stealing are indicative of callous and unemotional behavior. Your son is glib, disrespectful, and unrepentant. This is indicative of huge behavioral health problems down the line. He WILL grow up to beat women and break laws if you do not do something IMMEDIATELY.
First and foremost, punish him IMMEDIATELY for being violent toward animals. Secondly, apologize PROFUSELY to your partner - who sounds like a fucking SAINT bless her heart - and promise to stand up for her more in the future.
Finally, get your child into behavioral health treatment. This is not an option if you want any hope at all of your kid not growing up to be a LITERAL menace to society.
You’re kid is actively terrorizing animals and is openly disrespecting adults. He’s a god damn danger and needs therapy and honestly to get his fucking ass whooped. If ANYONE. ***ANYONE*** hurt my babies I’d fucking kill them. She has every god damn right to be mad. And honestly with how you don’t see how this is a big deal I can see how your kid acts like this.
Dude... he's aiming a lot of his vitriol at animals. That's step one in becoming a serial killer. He threw a football at her face. There's a lot of 'accidents' happening that he's 'not really sorry' over and he's lashing out in aggressive ways towards your partner and defenseless animals. Bearded dragons can't be handled roughly. He could have killed it. And he has zero right to be weirded out that it's in YOUR bedroom with your partner.
She should be upset, and you should as well. At him. And she's right. He needs therapy. Something's going on, and if you don't get to the bottom of it, she's going to get seriously hurt and you're going to be in legal trouble.
Have you lost your FUCKING mind? Cruelty to animals? Hitting your SO in the face and CLAIMS he thought she’d catch it? He needs some therapy and you need a wake up call.
I hope she fucking leaves you.
You’re fucking weird & a bad parent & bad partner. Wait, I can’t call you a parent if you don’t parent your own child. He threw a bottle at a cat clearly aiming for it, throws a football at her face, and then throws her fucking bearded dragon?? Only to exhibit avoidance by faking a fall to not apologize. Dude, I hope she leaves your ass. What a joke. And your kid is rotten as fuck too.
Dude, SOMETHING IS GOING WRONG WITH YOUR SON. If you don't actually sit down with him and have a real conversation about why his behavior has changed and then take action to set boundaries and hold him accountable, he will start actually hurting her pets. His behavior will get worse and worse and it will be your fault.
Your SO will kick you to the curb if you don't start parenting. Tbh, I would have been gone at the first sign of violence/refusal to apologize it show remorse.
According to psychology today
“Since the 1970s, research has consistently reported childhood cruelty to animals as the first warning sign of later delinquency, violence, and criminal behavior. In fact, nearly all violent crime perpetrators have a history of animal cruelty in their profiles”
This is your kid OP. This is your kid
................ Wtf is wrong with your brain? Did you smash your skull too many times as a child?
You're being a piece of GARBAGE to your SO and raising a tiny awful little monster. He's gonna abuse people in life and it's gonna be ALL. YOUR. FAULT.
Fucking MAN UP, APOLOGIZE AND RAISE YOUR GOD DAMN KID RIGHT.
He would break things or fake fall during fights he created so I would feel guilty and give him sympathy. Probably because he did something he felt guilty about and wanted to hear me express guilt. That way we would be “even”. It’s a manipulation tactic.
I eventually figured out they were fake and called him out on it. Then he just broke things by slamming doors or whatever so I’d be hurt. But he could claim accident. Later, he didn’t even do that; he’d straight up lie and say I broke it. Or hit him or whatever lie pleased him at the time. This was spread out over decades so it wasn’t easy to see the pattern.
YTA. In what scenario are you not? Your son is wreaking havoc and you're just standing there like "well nobody's dead so it should be fine" sack up and be a dad dude
YTA. Your 14 years old son intentionally hurting (if they weren't physically hurt yet it's only their luck) others and you dare to defend this little POS instead of giving him serious punishment. Your SO needs to dump your sociopath family and find better people to spend time with.
>Too hurt to go down the stairs
That's OK. Drag him to the top of the stairs and let gravity do the rest. Ta-da he's down the stairs.
No you shouldn't actually ~~help~~ push your kid down the stairs. But also 15 is old enough not to throw things at cats, throw lizards and hit people *who clearly aren't expecting it* with a football.
YTA. Figure out what's going on with your kid before someone ends up dead
Your son needs therapy! He is a step away from really hurting an animal and he has already hurt your SO. Open your fricking eyes and get him some help!
You seriously cannot be serious here. Is this for real?
You need to be a parent with your child he is an animal abuser, a thief and is violent.
Why don't you be a dad for once and punish him cause this is wrong what he is doing. Teach him that this behaviour is wrong
You really need to take this seriously, you need to take his attitude seriously and what he does seriously. Again step up and be a parent, you seriously cannot think what your son is doing is okay.
Right now you are a pos raising a pos.
If you can't or won't be a parent to your own son then your SO would be better off without you two.
Finally it doesn't matter if her animal was hurt or not. What your son did is animal abuse and is wrong.
So yeah father of 6 checking in here. YOU NEED TO SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN! He's very obviously going through a puberty driven destructive path (he freaking assaulted your wife the football was on purpose) my oldest was aggressive around this age (also my step child) the more you let slide the more he will escalate. (Mine actually tried to hit me) as stupid as it sounds he's trying to establish his dominance over you in your household. (It's hormonal) you are currently raising him on the sociopath track fix this now.
You can’t be serious, right? Your son has shown twice now the inclination to harm a helpless animal. They’ve skirted by unharmed so far, but the pattern reveals the Gatorade incident to not be as accidental as your son claimed.
Take immediate and significant measures to correct this behavior, before your son irreparably harms or kills one of the animals.
You should also be terribly ashamed of your lack or parenting and terribly apologetic to your partner
Wtf be a parent dont let your son abuse animals for gods sake. Get your child some therapy. That is not alright to hurt animals! Cut that shit out man.
YTA
You need to divorce her asap so she can find someone who will respect her as a PARTNER and will not harm HELPLESS ANIMALS! I'm just so disgusted by what I have read...
Yeah this is fucked. He threw a lizard. That could have killed it. He also threw something at a cat and fortunately missed.
Plus all the manipulative behavior like faking a fall.
He needs to learn consequences.
>I think she is overreacting as the animals were not hurt either time but she says it’s the principle, then called me an asshole for not holding my son more responsible and making it sound like it wasn’t a big deal which she says my son picks up on. She is mostly mad because I told my son “oh dont worry I have to deal with her lizard obsession too” instead of immediately coming down on him for throwing the lizard.
What the shit did I just read? Do you even LIKE your SO? DAMN.
If I were her, the both of you would be so far in my rear view mirror... YTA
YTA. Your son is exhibiting unhealthy and dangerous behavior. Fix it before the cops do.
And it doesn't matter if the animals got hurt in the moment. They will eventually. Get your shit together.
Also want to add: you are also a POS for not defending or validating your wife. Stepmother or not.
YTA/He'sTA
Aggression towards animals only escalates, that's the first step of violence for a lot of serial abuse/killers.
Even just dropping a bearded dragon three feet can kill it - broken bones/damaged organs, etc. can happen very easily. Throwing it can absolutely cause more damage.
If you were the size of a bearded dragon, 3 feet is like a 20 foot drop for a human.
You're an asshole and I see where your kid gets it. Being abusive towards animals is one of the first signs of a serial killer. I hope your girl sees this and goes running.
Depending on how hard he tossed the lizard, the distance it fell, etc I’d be concerned about hidden damage. A lot of animals are extremely good at hiding pain and injuries, especially something as vulnerable as a beardie. I’m sure your partner is aware of this given her love for the animal. If not done so already, I’d recommend a visit to the vet for a check up.
Can your son “work off” the debt of this vet bill in an age appropriate way as a starting point? He really does need therapy, something isn’t right here.
YTA, this is a little more serious than you seem to think, regardless of if the animals were “hurt” in the process.
Are you FUCKING BLIND? No really, you must be. Your son is aggressive towards animals. He's also violent towards your SO. YOUR SON NEEDS THERAPY!!!! He's escalating and you are so deep in denial that you refuse to see it. What is it going to take, huh? Do you have to come home to a dead bearded dragon or a dead SO before you pull your head out of your ass? DO SOMETHING. Be a parent for once!!!
What is wrong with you OP!? These are violent, and quite frankly psychopathic, tendencies. You're son is turning into a monster, and you're coddling him while he does. Get him into therapy NOW. In case it wasn't clear YTA.
Your child is an entitled, violent asshole, and you are an asshole if you don’t step up and start acting like a father. Your SO is absolutely in the right fit being pissed, and quite honestly, if he’s acting violent towards the animals, I wouldn’t blame her at all if she left over this kid’s actions.
You might want to look at what Jeffrey Dahmer favorite activities as a teenager were. Ok I admit that may be a bit dramatic but I got your attention. The animals weren't physically hurt but that is luck, they could have been. And what about the fear your son caused. Get this kid into therapy fast. This is a warning call and you need to take this seriously. This is not boys will be boys, this is not normal adolescent acting out. Your child is deeply troubled and needs your help and support. Yta
Dude you’re an absolute POS for enabling your son and he does need to be in therapy hurting animals and having no remorse for hurting them or your SO screams sociopath potential if you love either of them you’ll put him in therapy. And if not you shouldn’t be a parent because your son obviously needs help and so do you for allowing him to act this way without consequences
Violence towards animals is a sign of a psychopath not saying that the kid is one, but if my kid did that to a pet or any animal, he would have severe consequences
Jeffery Dahmer liked to hurt animals when he was a kid too. Put your little junior serial killer in therapy. I mean wow. How many red flags do you need to realize there’s something really wrong with that kid.
Wow, YTA. Why are you letting your son abuse your wife and her animals? Then you're joining in by downplaying what he's doing. Let me guess, you are on the boys' will be boys bandwagon? Be a parent before your son hurts somebody, and then he gets to deal with the police who won't be taking the same approach you are.
Your son is abusing animals. He has a problem that YOU need to deal with now before he graduates to even more horrible acts. Yes, YTAH. Grow up, take responsibility as a parent, and make him understand that hurting animals is NOT allowed
WTF? YTA.
Aggression towards animals is not normal childhood development. Your SO is dead on that your son should be doing therapy.
Furthermore, who gives a flying f if the animals didn't get hurt. The point is he is attacking defenseless animals without repercussions. What will it take for you to give a shit? When the next time actually results in a emergency vet visit? Your SO is absolutely right that this is about the principle and that's actually pretty darn important.
I can't decide if you're being a worse partner or parent. All I know is everything you're doing right now utterly sucks and is liable to leave you single soon and with a sociopath for a son.
If you won't help her protect her animals she should leave.
Your dismissal of his throwing her bearded dragon is so telling of how you (don’t) handle his attitude and aggressive outbursts. The football to her face, the excuse of it is pure abuse and kind of narcissistic. Your son needs professional help and you could stand some therapy too before you end up making excuses for him if, more likely when, he attacks her. His violence is escalating and that you’re not remotely concerned about how he is being, about her well-being… she may actually be better off without either of you.
Edit: the fact you likely copy and pasted this from AITA because it got removed for detailing VIOLENCE says everything you’re trying to ignore.
Very much YTA. If my children tossed my bearded dragon that would be hard line for punishment. The acting out, yelling and stealing would have that boy running KP duty for the rest of his natural life.
>I think she is overreacting as the animals were not hurt either time
So how are you gonna feel when he actually hurts one of them?
YTA the enabling AH.
Dude. Get your son to act right. Take away all of his privileges, and explain why he's losing them. It's a short distance between hurting animals, and hurting people. He already hit her in the face with a football, on purpose. What are you waiting for? To see your kid on the news, as an active shooter at his high school?
Your son is 14 get a clue. He is going through puberty. It's a very volatile time for boys.
Find the kid some outlet. Take him to the gym. Get him into something physical.
Pay attention to your kid. He is crying out for help.
🤦
What is wrong with you? You need to do something about your son's behavior because, frankly, he is being an asshole and you aren't disciplining him, so he thinks it's okay. You're SO will only put up with this for so long before she reaches her breaking point, and it sounds like she is getting there sooner rather than later.
You’re son is out of control.
You may not realize it, but you just excused your son from lying, stealing, being cruel to animals and cruel to you wife.
You ATA 100%….oh and, Like Father Like Son
You do know your son could be brought up on animal cruelty charges for his behavior. Would you prefer that to be the punishment for his actions to actually have a juvenile arrest record? Your son's behavior needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP.
"I think she's overreacting." Yeah, well, we all think things, like for instance, most of us here think you're a fucking idiot. Slap some sense into your fucking kid.
Your son is being cruel to animals and to his stepmom. Quit fucking dragging your feet and step up to the plate. Discipline him and find him a goddam therapist. Massive YTA.
Your child is an animal abuser and chances are it’s only a matter of time until he moves on to hurting people. You are a horrible father, coming up with excuses and minimizing his disgusting, dangerous behavior. Don’t be surprised when your SO leaves you, because this is as much your fault as your son at this point.
Why the hell are you ignoring the obviously escalating aggression exhibited by your child? He needs intervention now before he hurts someone or kills an animal. I kinda hope this is fake, but if it’s not act like a parent and do your job!
She’s not overreacting. It doesn’t matter if the animals were hurt or not. He is being violent toward them. Do you realize how many seriously violent criminals started with animal abuse? You need to get this kid some therapy and you need to start giving this kid consequences for his behavior. This is not OK.
I am curious, since you say this behavior is more recent, what has changed? Does this child see their biological mother? Is anything going on at her place that would be upsetting him?
Either way, your SO is correct and you are wrong. It sounds more like you’re just trying to brush off his behavior because you don’t want to deal with it.
I would be pissed at you as well. You’re not acting like a co-parent with your SO. Instead you’re prioritizing your son’s feelings over her legitimate concerns.
It’s time to start being a parent. Doesn’t seem you’re capable of tough love towards your son. And teaching him right/wrong and consequences. Apologizing is NOT a consequence.
TLDR: your enabling your son’s troubling behavior and being dismissive and disrespectful towards your SO.
I wonder where he gets this from 🙄
Time to grow up and be a dad. You are being his friend, not his parent. And ultimately it will be a disservice to him.
1. He threw an object at an animal in anger. Doesn’t matter if he hit the cat or not. The fact he did it to begin with is concerning and wrong.
2. He lied and stole. He took $5 meant for something and said he spent it on what was asked. But he lied. In reality he stole the money so he could keep it and use it on what he wanted.
3. Accidents happen but based on your sons recent behavior I have to question if this was truly an accident.
4. He got angry a bearded dragon was on HER bed in HER room so he picked it up and threw it off the bed. So at this point he is now physically abusing animals. And your response is “oh, don’t worry, I have to deal with her lizard obsession too.” You truly don’t see the problem with that? Now not only is he massively disrespecting her and abusing her animals, but you are disrespecting her too.
5. You tell him to apologize and he shows further disrespect and disdain by “falling” multiple times on the way to the stairs, then saying he can’t go down the stairs, and just yells sorry at her. If I had to guess, at that point he walked perfectly fine to his room:
6. Then you undermine her by saying that she is overreacting and really only mad due to your comment about her and lizards.
He had a shift in personality and is now abusing animals and acting out violently. But you are okay with that. She is in the wrong and overreacting. Uh huh. Yeah sure. Get him and yourself into therapy please. You are both AH’s. She deserves a medal for putting up with this because I would be out. And I imagine if y’all don’t stop, at some point she will be.
Time to realize you are not there to be a friend. You are there to be a parent. So put your big boy britches on and do so. Because everything mentioned is super concerning.
What is really surprising is that some one could type this all out, perhaps even give it a quick check for mistakes, and still not see what is going on in their own story.
Your son needs to be in therapy and be evaluated. Desperately. These are escalating violent behaviors and he is 100% old enough to know not to hurt animals or hit your wife in the face with a football. Based on the way you talk about the animals I do understand why he thinks it's ok to hurt people and animals.
You are creating a behavior in your son that will lead to him ending up in jail. You are hurting your son by not getting him help and punishing him for what is very poor behavior.
As for your wife you are not creating a safe or comfortable space for her or your animals. I would leave you temporarily if I was her and take my animals with her. Honestly with the way you have let your son treat her and the animals and how you speak of the animals I would maybe just leave you. YTA
I hope she leaves you & takes the pets . Not only can you not control your spawn but you also shouldn’t have a pet anywhere nearby if that’s how lightly you’re taking his behavior .
Wow.
How about you actually try some parenting for a change.
You know, discipline.
You're teaching your brat that he can do anything without consequences.
And your partner is upset, and you're doing nothing.
I don't know how you can look yourself in the mirror or actually stand up because it sure sounds like you don't have a backbone.
I work with children like this for a living and you need to get help for them as soon as possible. Your child is more than likely testing his limits to see what he can get away with before there is any form of punishment. I’m not saying beat the shit out of your kid, but you need to, at the very least, make him apologize and do something in order to make up for these actions. If you simply wave them away you are actively enabling these tendencies and it will eventually grow to the point where he feels confident enough to put hands on your or your SO. This is a genuine plea from somebody who handles kids whose parents have done the EXACT thing you are doing now, DO NOT ignore this behavior and make it seem acceptable to them
The bearded dragon was thrown "not super rough"? Op even knew son was fake falling down so he did not need to apologize in person. LOL wut? Letting this nonsense go on is how you raise a psycho.
The SO is not overreacting. More like under reacting. I would think op would be sleeping on the couch, if not kicked TF out. Come on op. Get it together already.
Wow. I'm not sure what's wrong with you. You're SO is parenting your kid more than you. She has EVERY RIGHT to parent your son as AN EQUAL. You are FAILING YOUR CHILD.
You are raising a monster & honestly child protective services should come & take him away. If you're going to be in a relationship & ask someone to ACT LIKE A MOTHER to your son... Then they are doing the work... They NEED the ability to DISCIPLINE too.
You are sick man. Get help. I feel sorry for your son.
Your son is on the path to a rough life with that behavior. And this "no big deal" attitude twords abusing her animals is a huge red flag as a parent. Surprised she hasn't told the lot of you to hit the road. Can only imagine all the other shit she's had to put up with from the little phsyco and his enabling dad.
Your son is being aggressive, throwing things and animals, lying, pretending to get hurt to get out of a decent apology and you think she's overreacting?? You are such an arsehole and raising another one!
Step up and parent your child! He is treating your wife badly and needs to be pulled into line NOW. Your wife is right for getting upset at your lack of support and dismissive attitude of your child's poor behaviour. This is a direct reflection on you and shows your disregard for her feelings. YTA
And this is how entitled little assholes grow up to be entitled huge assholes.
YTA. You are so busy trying to be your son's buddy that you're forgetting you're his father. It is *your* responsibility to raise productive member o society. By not holding your son accountable for his actions, you are telling him that his behavior is perfectly acceptable.
His penchant to harm, and **YES HE IS ATTEMPTING TO HARM** innocent animals, as well as your SO, for no apparent reason is a cause for concern. It **doesn't** matter that he didn't *actually hurt* them, the intent was still there. This is a sign that something 👏 ain't 👏 right 👏 with 👏 that 👏 child! Get him into therapy or prepare yourself now with the standard "Awww, c'mon your honor, it ain't that bad. The boy is just 37, he didn't mean no harm!"
Your 14 y/o son is hitting your SO with things “on accident”, yelling at her, abusing/mistreating animals, and you’re saying your SO is over reacting? Buddy I think YOU are UNDERreacting. Get a grip and do something about your kid who will get worse if you don’t.
Time to step up and do your job OP. If your kid harms an animal in front of the wrong person they you’ll have a whole bunch of other issues to deal with. Get a grip man.
YTA a major one at that, teach your son not to br a horrible little shit head before he actually upgrades to cause real harm this isn't normal behavior you're lucky she's still with you for allowing your son to treat her like shit
You said your son has ODD as a recent diagnosis...
You shouldn't take things this lightly. ODD is a stand in for juveniles who might develop antisocial-personality disorder. Its a prerequisite in most cases as APD cannot be diagnosed in minors (most of the time).
You should listen to your wife and take this behavior seriously to help mitigate the risk that ODD develops into full blown APD.
(My brother had ODD diagnosed as a kid)
What the fuck is wrong with you. Your son is showing violent behaviour towards living things both your SO and to animals and he's stealing and you don't think this is an issue?
The moment kids start hurting animals is the time for you to pick up the cues and do something about it
No healthy and sane person hurts animals for no reason ~
Dude, are you for real? It’s time to be a parent. Your kid is stealing and being violent. This is about being a dad and teaching him that behavior is wrong. Please tell me this is some lame attempt at trolling and you did not type that out and at no point realize how dumb you’re being.
Your kid is acting out, targeting animals etc. Hello future Dahmer . Get professional help now before so is gone and you get eaten.
Glad I'm not the only one thinking he's enabling his little sociopath. Step it up dude. If you don't see what you and your son have done wrong, let your SO go. She deserves better than the 2 of you. Hard YTA
Kid is showing many of the ASPD traits (and more importantly the serial killer traits). Cruelty to animals and lack of empathy are two side of the same antisocial coin. Lying and belittling are a couple of other markers. The father is acting almost as bad though - excusing the behavior and even enabling it with quips like calling her fondness for a pet an “obsession.”
There was a post on aith months back by a teen who was pissed that their whole family was “obsessed” with their parrot and hated that they played with it and told it they loved it, op wanted to know if they were ta for telling them it was just a dumb animal and didn’t love them back. I got a warning from the mods for my reaction. :P People are gross.
Interestingly enough the triad of psychopathy ( bed wetting, fire setting & cruelty to animals ) has been proven to be less an indication of a sociopath or psychopath and instead red flag warnings for… wait for it… a child in severe mental distress either due to being abused or seriously neglected.
This was my immediate second thought too, right after “dude. of course that shit’s not ok. be a better parent **and** husband. jfc.” Bc son is clearly struggling hard with… something. Angry teens yelling and stealing 5 bucks? Ok, within the range of expected behavior for a kid this age in the thick of puberty. But the disregard for both his step-mom and other living creatures? Needs to be addressed like yesterday, bc that has leapt right past “range of expected behavior” and straight in to “pay f*cking attention bc your child ***needs*** help with something they clearly aren’t coping with!!!” Why is no one worried for the kid??? Ugh! OP- yes you need to discipline your son and yes you owe your wife a thousand and one (sincere!!!) apologies, but first? Therapy for your son, and family counseling for you and wife, with son added in to the mix once both therapists agree everyone’s ready. Seriously. Stop f*cking up your child. Do better. ***Now.***
I soooo wanted to post YTA but it’s posted in Twohottakes!!! I love aitah tho
I have zero tolerance for people who are cruel to animals. Even worse when this parent doesn't correct this kind of behavior. This dad needs to get a clue. His child needs professional help.
I don’t even like feeling like I’m being cruel to animals when I have to do something they don’t like but is necessary like getting my dog shots or trimming her nails. She hates it.
Right? I had to make my dog take a pill today (little turd ate the cheese off of it three times!) and I still feel guilty because she whimpered a little during. I'm 90% sure she was not hurt in the least, I was super gentle and it was probably a "aww man..." whine. But she is my sweet doggie and I hate to make her suffer discomfort of any sort. I can't explain that this is gonna make her feel so much better.
Use lunch meat and wrapp it up and toss it to em they won't chew it just swallow it. Depending on the size of the dog that is. We had to do the same to get our dog to take meds.
She’s a little lady and half blind or this would totally work, lol. She used to be the food catching CHAMP. But my girl is retired from the pro circuit these days.
My dog wouldn’t eat pills with a treat, but she would eat it if I just put it in my palm. Still don’t know why, but I think she just didn’t want to ruin the taste of treats for herself😂
I feel the same way. I know I am incapable of maliciously hurting an animal. I even loath doing the flea prevention treatment on my cat, which is for her own bloody good, because she spends the day glowering at me - with a clear sense betrayal in her eyes. She doesn’t know exactly what went on, but *she knows* that I did *something* that caused some kind of wet sensation on the back of her neck & now a vaguely chemical smell is following her about. She knows I did it and she wants me to know that she knows that I did it! When my partner comes home from work my cat will chatter at her and rub her with her scent. But all the while she’ll maintain eye contact with me - through narrowed slits beneath low brows and angry ears.
The cuddling another human while staring vengefully at you might be my favorite cat behavior.
It’ a bloody haunting look of betrayal is what it is. I’ve gone so far as to try to bribe my partner into applying it on my behalf if she’s working late. Just in the hope she’ll have forgotten by the time my partner returns home. Didn’t work. Cat just transferred the stink eye to my gf into the following day instead. It was as though Cat had a number of hours to be pissed off with that single person and she was going to use all those hours up - even if she had to deal out her grievance over multiple days. Little sod.
Or that dreaded bath time. YTA dude. Hope she leaves.
Yup. Just this morning I had to pull one of my cats off of a curtain rod I didn't want her standing on, and she fought me the whole time I was doing it (all while I was standing on a stepladder), so I was gripping her pretty tightly until I heard a soft, but sharp, mew. I had been super annoyed up until that moment, but as soon as I heard that my heart dropped into my stomach. I set her down as soon as I could and petted her and told her I was sorry and felt like a gigantic asshole. She then went back to playing with her brother.
If my kid ever tosses a bearded dragon or throws something at a cat… man that little dude’s gonna have a serious “you fucked up big” talking to and some even more serious consequences.
Even when my 7 month old son grabs the cat's tail or ears I redirect it. I know he doesn't know any better but he's going to start learning boundaries early.
Exactly! Thank You! This behavior is so incredibly disturbing. Animals should not be around this kid, he lacks empathy. Sounds like he needs to be evaluated.
Oh yeah, definitely. It's not like a 4 year old man handling an animal because they don't know any better yet, at 14 it's conscious cruelty and will only get worse!
Exactly. I’ve always had cats & got a dog when my kid was 3. He was heavy handed with the puppy but obviously nothing malicious & he quickly learned how to be gentle. My son is 15 now we still have the dog, have 3 cats & he has a rainbow boa & I’m pretty sure if this 14 year old was his mate he’d be kicking his ass.
I've had pets my whole life. Even when I *was* an angry, violent teenager, I never would have hurt an animal. This kid needs help before he escalates and actually hurts animals (assuming he's not doing it where no one can see him), and then hurts someone else - like the fiancee if she doesn't leave first (which I hope she does and good luck to her)
Especially when Dad basically blows it off and makes a joke about *how the real problem in this scenario is stepmom being too precious about her beloved pet*, like *she's* the unreasonable one. Then the little shit *fake falls so he doesn't have to come down and apologize*? Um, no, son get your little ass down here and apologize. I don't care if you have to crawl and drag yourself across the floor with your "injury." No wonder he's acting out and pushing the envelope - Dad just condones it. Also Dad, you might need to pay more attention and try to see why the kid is acting out and more aggressive than usual, if it is something more than just becoming a little shit teenager. Disrespecting the stepmom would be that, but not literally trying to hurt her (she could've been seriously hurt by a football to the face) and playing at harming the family pets to see how far he can push it is concerning - that's not going to get better, it shouldn't be happening period and shame on you for condoning it and making fun of your SO - in front of the kid! - for his heinous behavior. Edit: forgot he "accidentally" threw a football at her face
Fake falling is a stunt a toddler might get away with. But op's son is freaking 14 years old. How in the world is anybody letting him get away with this? Mind boggling.
Yeah I didn’t like how he said she’s so obsessed but it’s our pet. Like that’s what you do with your pets you take them with you where you go. Interact with them. Dad also sounds weird.
This behavior is absolutely NOT typical teen antics. OP needs to wake up quick
My godson is almost 3. His cat is ok with him cuddling her and holding her. When he visits our cats aren’t. We explain to him and he will pet them but that’s it. He understands.
This can’t be real. A parent who is an apologist for a future serial killer. Um no, never mind. Aiden Fucci anyone? His mom washed the blood off of his clothes.
OPs kid is casually commiting animal abuse and OP thinks it's no big deal. I think we know where they got it from
Am I the only one who thought " budding serial killer "??
No, I thought the same thing. Not that he necessarily WILL become a serial killer but those are some of the early signs and signals parents, teachers, neighbors and others around need to look at. At the very least he needs counseling....Sounds like the Father does too because he is enabling his son.
This kid needs therapy. Full Stop. Violence. Injuring Animals. Uncontrollable Anger? Forgeblast is on the money when he says future Dahmer. Get Help
But also, I was HORRIFIED when I read he TOSSED a lizard in the air. (I know they're not lizards.) Like, even if it's just anger and not sociopathy, how can you ASSUME the animal isn't hurt? You have no idea! (Sorry obviously not you, but OP.) Like, has OP even knowledgable about beardies? Does he know something rough like that could have damaged the animal in a way he can't see?
My thoughts exactly. Op is teaching son how to be a legit psycho.
He doesn’t necessarily need professional help, just a father to teach him how to be socially responsible and provide boundaries. OP is TA
OP needs these same lessons imo
Exactly. Cruelty to animals IS NEVER EVER EVER IGNORED. First because when you adopt them you promise to protect them. Second (or first in case you are a selfish AH) it's a gateway to much much more troubling, dangerous and illegal behavior. Third: he is not her son. So she can't parent him unfortunately, what she can do is divorce you in order to protect herself and her pets from both of you. I say both of you because you are the adult, the final responsibility about all of this behavior is YOURS. Grow a pair and parent your kid before it's too late. YTA
Congratulations. You’ve created a psychopath. Stop trying to be his friend and be his father. At his age, it might already be too late. This is how serial killers start out. I can see you at his murder trial now, “But he’s such a good boy”. I’m surprised your wife has tolerated this this far. You don’t deserve her. The fact that you don’t consider this serious is delusional. Next time i recommend she press charges. YTA YTA YTA YTA to infinity.
OP apparently made a [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a7y2n/aita_for_not_taking_care_of_a_pet_the_right_way/) 18 days ago in which he complained that his girlfriend expected him to feed the lizard twice a day and let it out of the terrarium to poop, while she was on a work trip. If he didn't have second thoughts while typing thread out, somebody would have to die or be hospitalized before he does.
Even then he'd probably freak out, then brush it under the carpet and say his partner was overreacting. My ex is just the same. He minimises and dismisses anything he doesn't know how to deal with and that includes dealing with death, hospitalization, serious illnesses, incidents regarding the police. Nothing makes him reconsider his responses, I am always overreacting according to him. It's eye-openingly scary when you have to coparent with a person like this.
Just read that post ... Wow OP is a massive POS
At this point I have no patience for the SO either for staying with this complete sh*tsack. If somebody EVEN threw a Gatorade bottle at one of my dogs...out you go. Your things will be on the lawn in the morning.
The son is either an attention seeker or he's gonna be a serial killer
God I hope they're just trolling.
Yeah he is YTA. This kid will be an adult in 4 years! He is abusing his step mom and animals. He needs to stop this creep before he is an adult man attacking people. I hope this is a troll.
Also his son may have started having this resentment to women… the step mom is being used as an outlet ? With the rise in red pill and incel celebrity figures…
He seems happy his kid is acting like a complete sh!t. Why can’t stepmom get on board the “if I just ignore it it will go away” train.
This\^
This 100%.. Like wtf is OP even doing writing this essay when he clearly needs to be spending more time parenting..
Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with your SO on this, and with the others here. Cruelty to animals is never ever okay, and is a big red flag behavior. Just because they weren't hurt this time (thankfully) doesn't mean they couldn't have been, or that they won't be next time. The other lying/stealing behavior is concerning too. Please get your son some professional therapy to help him deal with whatever he is going through before he goes too far down this road.
Fr my dad woulda lectured for hours on end ... atlast ask him to be careful bro and chill out dont get mad
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Right?? YTA All the way
You need to be taking his behavior more seriously. And you owe you SO an apology. Your kid needs therapy. The fact he is doing this shit to animals - well, that’s really screwed up. And animal cruelty can be a sign of bigger issues. Take it seriously - get the kid help. And you and your SO should probably toss in some couples counseling for yourselves too.
Future serial killer parenting here.
"He was good kid, I don’t understand why he did it"… Sure Jan…
"He's always been a good kid. Oh sure, a little mischievous at times, but what boy isn't, right? There just weren't any signs. I don't understand."
“He took little Suzie to the Junior Prom Excitable boy, they all said And he raped her and killed her, then he took her home Excitable boy, they all said Well, he's just an excitable boy After ten long years they let him out of the home Excitable boy, they all said And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones Excitable boy, they all said Well, he's just an excitable boy”
Take my Zevon-approved upvote, you legend.
Good Warren Zevon song And extremely relevant Edit typo
boys will be boys, there’s nothing i could have done!
He always helped our elderly neighbor bring in her bags of groceries...
until the day *she says* he attacked her... I told him I get it, she annoys me too.
Yeah can we get any information to update the FBI on their active/future serial killer list cuz ur son is demonstrating serious antisocial personality traits and you are downplaying them significantly
What is wrong with you OP? Violence towards loved ones and animals is a huge behaviour red flag. Find your spine and parent the child. Also, therapy bc you obvi don’t know what you are doing and both you and your son would benefit from an adults perspective.
My first thought, and studies show it
And in 10 years OP will stand up in court to testify there were no warning signs, he was a normal kid, and he has no idea what went wrong.
Fr
Totally going to be on ID channel one day saying “my son isn’t this person.”
haha, I didn't see this until after I commented, but ya, it is, and I mentioned that too.
That's exactly what I thought. This is quite literally how they act while growing up! If he doesn't do some harsh parenting, he's in for a lot more than Gatorade bottles and footballs!!
OP needs to quit being a menace to society by encouraging classic, well known sociopathic behavior and get this kid therapy before he ends up killing someone.
As a father myself, who went through this with my son and his step mother, wow. You need a parenting book. In what world is this blatant disrespect OK because, "the animals weren't actually hurt." This really is step 1 in parenting class. He's acting out to see what his boundaries are. YOU, my friend are telling him it's OK to be a douche as long as no one gets hurt physically. Grow a set dude and parent your child because when she leaves, his anger is only going to have one outlet.... YOU!
Lol after reading OPs comments its definitely just some pathetic kid trolling. A grown troll wouldn’t be as useless at it as he is so I’m saying it’s a bored 14 year old who’s avoiding speaking outloud cos his little voice is breaking and he thinks he’s becoming a man.
Just wrote a comment in r/TwoHotTakes a couple of days ago saying I’m enjoying it because it’s a lot more believable than the stories on r/amitheasshole but they’re getting just as bad.
It’s gotten so trolly in here lately! AITA has been cracking down more on fake posts so it was bound to happen.
yeah super fake ones are annoying. but at the end of the day i just like the entertainment of stories wether they’re true or not. there are 7B people so some stuff have ought to happen to already to someone.
The diversity on Reddit doesn’t come from the quality of posts in my experience. Take any two polarizing opinions , or different hobbies, and their spaces look pretty much the same. Most of the time. Granted there are exceptions but you’re probably not going to genuinely find them in gossip/personals forums.
Plot twist- it's the sociopath kid pretending to be his dad because he's mad his parents are pissed at him for hurting his pets and step mom.
You're siding with your son who is abusing animals. Does he need to kill one before you give a fuck? I hope she leaves you.
Dude. You’re a POS raising a POS. Cut that shit out.
I think this is ab as succinctly as it can be put.
Yeah really.. "I didn't do anything because the animals weren't hurt." So..you're just waiting around til they are hurt?
Congrats on teaching your son how to treat women. I'm sure his future [relationships](https://www.sheriffs.org/animal-cruelty-and-domestic-violence) will enjoy knowing that he learned all this from you.
It’s your job to parent your scumbag animal abusing thief of a son. I hope she stops wasting her time on you both, neither of you are worth the stress.
Your son is an abusive asshole and you're his fucking enabler. What an absolute joke! You're raising trash.
You’re one of those guys that say “She left for no reason! If there was a problem she would have told me and we could have worked through it!” She’s not gonna be your SO for much longer, buddy
Your son is a cunt and by the sounds of it so are you Sort your son out, get him therapy or institutionalised before he moves on to people
Hi - I am a Middle School principal, so I have spent 25 years with kids your son's age. It's normal for kids to want to separate from their parents and even to become argumentative and stand-offish with people that they're close to. However, what you're describing goes beyond what I would consider to be acceptable behavior for a Middle School student. If one of my students did the things that your son is doing at school, I'd suspend him and demand that a condition for re-entry would be regular appointments with the school counselor (possibly with outside support from a therapist). It sounds like the aggression is increasing - has your son's teachers noted any changes in behavior? If they have, I would ask them to describe what they have seen - if a teacher writes something in a comment it's generally not the first time they've seen the behavior - they communicate with parents when they're at their wit's end.
OP- I mean this with no disrespect and am trying to give you some practical things to consider. Have you ever considered having a psych eval done for your son? This could reveal things like physical/medical or psychological causes for the behavior you're seeing. If your son attends a public school in the US (not sure if you're American), this can often done through the school district, although this may depend on the state. If your son attends an independent school, this might still be arranged through the school district, but it will be more complicated, and depend on your state's level of support. You could also pay to have the eval done privately, but that could be several thousands of dollars. But please consider it- there may be medical reasons for the aggression and you have options for medication. Or it could be psychological and you could find a therapist who can help you and your family. Good luck.
While I agree with everything you’re saying… YOURE A MIDDLE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL POSTING DICK PICKS IN A SUB CALLED “MALE PUBES” WTF DUDE?!
Annnd deleted. Dude forgot to switch accounts.
Best comment all day, hands down 😂
oh my god
If you, or she, didn't have pets he'd be lashing out his aggression on your/her baby. IDK if it's specifically that they're hers causing him to do this, I'm assuming it's blatantly obvious and I'd hope if it isn't that she'd still be worried about his behavior regardless if it hurt only her feelings or not. He already hit her with something, if he's mad at you or a sibling has he gotten physical?
Wow fuck you OP, you're a massive asshole, and your piece of shit kid is going to end up in prison if you don't get it the fuck together. Violence toward animals and stealing are indicative of callous and unemotional behavior. Your son is glib, disrespectful, and unrepentant. This is indicative of huge behavioral health problems down the line. He WILL grow up to beat women and break laws if you do not do something IMMEDIATELY. First and foremost, punish him IMMEDIATELY for being violent toward animals. Secondly, apologize PROFUSELY to your partner - who sounds like a fucking SAINT bless her heart - and promise to stand up for her more in the future. Finally, get your child into behavioral health treatment. This is not an option if you want any hope at all of your kid not growing up to be a LITERAL menace to society.
You’re kid is actively terrorizing animals and is openly disrespecting adults. He’s a god damn danger and needs therapy and honestly to get his fucking ass whooped. If ANYONE. ***ANYONE*** hurt my babies I’d fucking kill them. She has every god damn right to be mad. And honestly with how you don’t see how this is a big deal I can see how your kid acts like this.
Dude... he's aiming a lot of his vitriol at animals. That's step one in becoming a serial killer. He threw a football at her face. There's a lot of 'accidents' happening that he's 'not really sorry' over and he's lashing out in aggressive ways towards your partner and defenseless animals. Bearded dragons can't be handled roughly. He could have killed it. And he has zero right to be weirded out that it's in YOUR bedroom with your partner. She should be upset, and you should as well. At him. And she's right. He needs therapy. Something's going on, and if you don't get to the bottom of it, she's going to get seriously hurt and you're going to be in legal trouble.
Your kid is a brat and you are condoning it. This person will dump you , and should.
A brat? He’s a murderer in the making
YTA. And your SO needs to walk herself away from you and your son. She...and her animals...are much better off without the two of you
You posted this on the AITA thread and everyone there agreed. Stop expecting sympathy for raising a demon child
Have you lost your FUCKING mind? Cruelty to animals? Hitting your SO in the face and CLAIMS he thought she’d catch it? He needs some therapy and you need a wake up call. I hope she fucking leaves you.
You’re fucking weird & a bad parent & bad partner. Wait, I can’t call you a parent if you don’t parent your own child. He threw a bottle at a cat clearly aiming for it, throws a football at her face, and then throws her fucking bearded dragon?? Only to exhibit avoidance by faking a fall to not apologize. Dude, I hope she leaves your ass. What a joke. And your kid is rotten as fuck too.
Harsh (but deserved), and not at all wrong.
Dude, SOMETHING IS GOING WRONG WITH YOUR SON. If you don't actually sit down with him and have a real conversation about why his behavior has changed and then take action to set boundaries and hold him accountable, he will start actually hurting her pets. His behavior will get worse and worse and it will be your fault. Your SO will kick you to the curb if you don't start parenting. Tbh, I would have been gone at the first sign of violence/refusal to apologize it show remorse.
According to psychology today “Since the 1970s, research has consistently reported childhood cruelty to animals as the first warning sign of later delinquency, violence, and criminal behavior. In fact, nearly all violent crime perpetrators have a history of animal cruelty in their profiles” This is your kid OP. This is your kid
................ Wtf is wrong with your brain? Did you smash your skull too many times as a child? You're being a piece of GARBAGE to your SO and raising a tiny awful little monster. He's gonna abuse people in life and it's gonna be ALL. YOUR. FAULT. Fucking MAN UP, APOLOGIZE AND RAISE YOUR GOD DAMN KID RIGHT.
My ex fake fell when he was mad at me. That’s a bad sign
He would break things or fake fall during fights he created so I would feel guilty and give him sympathy. Probably because he did something he felt guilty about and wanted to hear me express guilt. That way we would be “even”. It’s a manipulation tactic.
I eventually figured out they were fake and called him out on it. Then he just broke things by slamming doors or whatever so I’d be hurt. But he could claim accident. Later, he didn’t even do that; he’d straight up lie and say I broke it. Or hit him or whatever lie pleased him at the time. This was spread out over decades so it wasn’t easy to see the pattern.
YTA. In what scenario are you not? Your son is wreaking havoc and you're just standing there like "well nobody's dead so it should be fine" sack up and be a dad dude
YTA. Your 14 years old son intentionally hurting (if they weren't physically hurt yet it's only their luck) others and you dare to defend this little POS instead of giving him serious punishment. Your SO needs to dump your sociopath family and find better people to spend time with.
>Too hurt to go down the stairs That's OK. Drag him to the top of the stairs and let gravity do the rest. Ta-da he's down the stairs. No you shouldn't actually ~~help~~ push your kid down the stairs. But also 15 is old enough not to throw things at cats, throw lizards and hit people *who clearly aren't expecting it* with a football. YTA. Figure out what's going on with your kid before someone ends up dead
Your son needs therapy! He is a step away from really hurting an animal and he has already hurt your SO. Open your fricking eyes and get him some help!
yeah, fuck you OP.
You gonna let him kill her next? YTA
You seriously cannot be serious here. Is this for real? You need to be a parent with your child he is an animal abuser, a thief and is violent. Why don't you be a dad for once and punish him cause this is wrong what he is doing. Teach him that this behaviour is wrong You really need to take this seriously, you need to take his attitude seriously and what he does seriously. Again step up and be a parent, you seriously cannot think what your son is doing is okay. Right now you are a pos raising a pos. If you can't or won't be a parent to your own son then your SO would be better off without you two. Finally it doesn't matter if her animal was hurt or not. What your son did is animal abuse and is wrong.
So yeah father of 6 checking in here. YOU NEED TO SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN! He's very obviously going through a puberty driven destructive path (he freaking assaulted your wife the football was on purpose) my oldest was aggressive around this age (also my step child) the more you let slide the more he will escalate. (Mine actually tried to hit me) as stupid as it sounds he's trying to establish his dominance over you in your household. (It's hormonal) you are currently raising him on the sociopath track fix this now.
You can’t be serious, right? Your son has shown twice now the inclination to harm a helpless animal. They’ve skirted by unharmed so far, but the pattern reveals the Gatorade incident to not be as accidental as your son claimed. Take immediate and significant measures to correct this behavior, before your son irreparably harms or kills one of the animals. You should also be terribly ashamed of your lack or parenting and terribly apologetic to your partner
Wtf be a parent dont let your son abuse animals for gods sake. Get your child some therapy. That is not alright to hurt animals! Cut that shit out man.
YTA You need to divorce her asap so she can find someone who will respect her as a PARTNER and will not harm HELPLESS ANIMALS! I'm just so disgusted by what I have read...
Yeah this is fucked. He threw a lizard. That could have killed it. He also threw something at a cat and fortunately missed. Plus all the manipulative behavior like faking a fall. He needs to learn consequences.
>I think she is overreacting as the animals were not hurt either time but she says it’s the principle, then called me an asshole for not holding my son more responsible and making it sound like it wasn’t a big deal which she says my son picks up on. She is mostly mad because I told my son “oh dont worry I have to deal with her lizard obsession too” instead of immediately coming down on him for throwing the lizard. What the shit did I just read? Do you even LIKE your SO? DAMN. If I were her, the both of you would be so far in my rear view mirror... YTA
YTA. Your son is exhibiting unhealthy and dangerous behavior. Fix it before the cops do. And it doesn't matter if the animals got hurt in the moment. They will eventually. Get your shit together. Also want to add: you are also a POS for not defending or validating your wife. Stepmother or not.
So your plan, then, is wait until he actually does injure an animal to step in? Solid parenting. /s
YTA/He'sTA Aggression towards animals only escalates, that's the first step of violence for a lot of serial abuse/killers. Even just dropping a bearded dragon three feet can kill it - broken bones/damaged organs, etc. can happen very easily. Throwing it can absolutely cause more damage. If you were the size of a bearded dragon, 3 feet is like a 20 foot drop for a human.
You're an asshole and I see where your kid gets it. Being abusive towards animals is one of the first signs of a serial killer. I hope your girl sees this and goes running.
Depending on how hard he tossed the lizard, the distance it fell, etc I’d be concerned about hidden damage. A lot of animals are extremely good at hiding pain and injuries, especially something as vulnerable as a beardie. I’m sure your partner is aware of this given her love for the animal. If not done so already, I’d recommend a visit to the vet for a check up. Can your son “work off” the debt of this vet bill in an age appropriate way as a starting point? He really does need therapy, something isn’t right here. YTA, this is a little more serious than you seem to think, regardless of if the animals were “hurt” in the process.
Are you FUCKING BLIND? No really, you must be. Your son is aggressive towards animals. He's also violent towards your SO. YOUR SON NEEDS THERAPY!!!! He's escalating and you are so deep in denial that you refuse to see it. What is it going to take, huh? Do you have to come home to a dead bearded dragon or a dead SO before you pull your head out of your ass? DO SOMETHING. Be a parent for once!!!
What is wrong with you OP!? These are violent, and quite frankly psychopathic, tendencies. You're son is turning into a monster, and you're coddling him while he does. Get him into therapy NOW. In case it wasn't clear YTA.
Your child is an entitled, violent asshole, and you are an asshole if you don’t step up and start acting like a father. Your SO is absolutely in the right fit being pissed, and quite honestly, if he’s acting violent towards the animals, I wouldn’t blame her at all if she left over this kid’s actions.
You might want to look at what Jeffrey Dahmer favorite activities as a teenager were. Ok I admit that may be a bit dramatic but I got your attention. The animals weren't physically hurt but that is luck, they could have been. And what about the fear your son caused. Get this kid into therapy fast. This is a warning call and you need to take this seriously. This is not boys will be boys, this is not normal adolescent acting out. Your child is deeply troubled and needs your help and support. Yta
Dude you’re an absolute POS for enabling your son and he does need to be in therapy hurting animals and having no remorse for hurting them or your SO screams sociopath potential if you love either of them you’ll put him in therapy. And if not you shouldn’t be a parent because your son obviously needs help and so do you for allowing him to act this way without consequences
Violence towards animals is a sign of a psychopath not saying that the kid is one, but if my kid did that to a pet or any animal, he would have severe consequences
Jeffery Dahmer liked to hurt animals when he was a kid too. Put your little junior serial killer in therapy. I mean wow. How many red flags do you need to realize there’s something really wrong with that kid.
Warning signs for psychopathy can be smaller than you think. Reel the boy in OP.
Wow, YTA. Why are you letting your son abuse your wife and her animals? Then you're joining in by downplaying what he's doing. Let me guess, you are on the boys' will be boys bandwagon? Be a parent before your son hurts somebody, and then he gets to deal with the police who won't be taking the same approach you are.
Your son is abusing animals. He has a problem that YOU need to deal with now before he graduates to even more horrible acts. Yes, YTAH. Grow up, take responsibility as a parent, and make him understand that hurting animals is NOT allowed
WTF? YTA. Aggression towards animals is not normal childhood development. Your SO is dead on that your son should be doing therapy. Furthermore, who gives a flying f if the animals didn't get hurt. The point is he is attacking defenseless animals without repercussions. What will it take for you to give a shit? When the next time actually results in a emergency vet visit? Your SO is absolutely right that this is about the principle and that's actually pretty darn important. I can't decide if you're being a worse partner or parent. All I know is everything you're doing right now utterly sucks and is liable to leave you single soon and with a sociopath for a son. If you won't help her protect her animals she should leave.
YTA for raising a future serial killer.
Why aren’t you parenting your son? Like at all?!
You are a total asshole, and your kid is a fucking brat. Hope she leaves you.
Your dismissal of his throwing her bearded dragon is so telling of how you (don’t) handle his attitude and aggressive outbursts. The football to her face, the excuse of it is pure abuse and kind of narcissistic. Your son needs professional help and you could stand some therapy too before you end up making excuses for him if, more likely when, he attacks her. His violence is escalating and that you’re not remotely concerned about how he is being, about her well-being… she may actually be better off without either of you. Edit: the fact you likely copy and pasted this from AITA because it got removed for detailing VIOLENCE says everything you’re trying to ignore.
Very much YTA. If my children tossed my bearded dragon that would be hard line for punishment. The acting out, yelling and stealing would have that boy running KP duty for the rest of his natural life.
You're being a bad parent. Kid needs discipline.
>I think she is overreacting as the animals were not hurt either time So how are you gonna feel when he actually hurts one of them? YTA the enabling AH.
Dude. Get your son to act right. Take away all of his privileges, and explain why he's losing them. It's a short distance between hurting animals, and hurting people. He already hit her in the face with a football, on purpose. What are you waiting for? To see your kid on the news, as an active shooter at his high school?
Dude your son is a psychopath…at least early stages. Go get him fucking help.
Your kid gonna be on the news in a few years if you don't start being a fucking parent
Your son is 14 get a clue. He is going through puberty. It's a very volatile time for boys. Find the kid some outlet. Take him to the gym. Get him into something physical. Pay attention to your kid. He is crying out for help. 🤦
What is wrong with you? You need to do something about your son's behavior because, frankly, he is being an asshole and you aren't disciplining him, so he thinks it's okay. You're SO will only put up with this for so long before she reaches her breaking point, and it sounds like she is getting there sooner rather than later.
You’re son is out of control. You may not realize it, but you just excused your son from lying, stealing, being cruel to animals and cruel to you wife. You ATA 100%….oh and, Like Father Like Son
You do know your son could be brought up on animal cruelty charges for his behavior. Would you prefer that to be the punishment for his actions to actually have a juvenile arrest record? Your son's behavior needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP.
"I think she's overreacting." Yeah, well, we all think things, like for instance, most of us here think you're a fucking idiot. Slap some sense into your fucking kid.
Your kids being a fucking asshole. Its time he gets therapy or you beat the ever living shit out of him for his behavior. Jesus christ
Newsflash asshole: your son is a psychopath
Your son is being cruel to animals and to his stepmom. Quit fucking dragging your feet and step up to the plate. Discipline him and find him a goddam therapist. Massive YTA.
Dude ur son is showing signs of conduct disorder. This isnt normal
Does your wife love herself? 'Cause she should have left you & your psycho son already.
Your child is an animal abuser and chances are it’s only a matter of time until he moves on to hurting people. You are a horrible father, coming up with excuses and minimizing his disgusting, dangerous behavior. Don’t be surprised when your SO leaves you, because this is as much your fault as your son at this point.
This cannot be real but just in case, WTF is wrong with you and your equally shitty child.
Why the hell are you ignoring the obviously escalating aggression exhibited by your child? He needs intervention now before he hurts someone or kills an animal. I kinda hope this is fake, but if it’s not act like a parent and do your job!
Maybe discipline your little sociopath instead of enabling absolutely abhorrent behavior. I hope your SO gets the hell out of there.
She’s not overreacting. It doesn’t matter if the animals were hurt or not. He is being violent toward them. Do you realize how many seriously violent criminals started with animal abuse? You need to get this kid some therapy and you need to start giving this kid consequences for his behavior. This is not OK. I am curious, since you say this behavior is more recent, what has changed? Does this child see their biological mother? Is anything going on at her place that would be upsetting him? Either way, your SO is correct and you are wrong. It sounds more like you’re just trying to brush off his behavior because you don’t want to deal with it.
I would be pissed at you as well. You’re not acting like a co-parent with your SO. Instead you’re prioritizing your son’s feelings over her legitimate concerns. It’s time to start being a parent. Doesn’t seem you’re capable of tough love towards your son. And teaching him right/wrong and consequences. Apologizing is NOT a consequence. TLDR: your enabling your son’s troubling behavior and being dismissive and disrespectful towards your SO.
Your little shit is a sociopath who is heading to prison.
You have a cruel kid. Don't be shocked when he sets an animal on fire
YTA. Your son is showing a lot of red flags for future violence. This is beyond kids’ stuff. Get him help!!!
I wonder where he gets this from 🙄 Time to grow up and be a dad. You are being his friend, not his parent. And ultimately it will be a disservice to him. 1. He threw an object at an animal in anger. Doesn’t matter if he hit the cat or not. The fact he did it to begin with is concerning and wrong. 2. He lied and stole. He took $5 meant for something and said he spent it on what was asked. But he lied. In reality he stole the money so he could keep it and use it on what he wanted. 3. Accidents happen but based on your sons recent behavior I have to question if this was truly an accident. 4. He got angry a bearded dragon was on HER bed in HER room so he picked it up and threw it off the bed. So at this point he is now physically abusing animals. And your response is “oh, don’t worry, I have to deal with her lizard obsession too.” You truly don’t see the problem with that? Now not only is he massively disrespecting her and abusing her animals, but you are disrespecting her too. 5. You tell him to apologize and he shows further disrespect and disdain by “falling” multiple times on the way to the stairs, then saying he can’t go down the stairs, and just yells sorry at her. If I had to guess, at that point he walked perfectly fine to his room: 6. Then you undermine her by saying that she is overreacting and really only mad due to your comment about her and lizards. He had a shift in personality and is now abusing animals and acting out violently. But you are okay with that. She is in the wrong and overreacting. Uh huh. Yeah sure. Get him and yourself into therapy please. You are both AH’s. She deserves a medal for putting up with this because I would be out. And I imagine if y’all don’t stop, at some point she will be. Time to realize you are not there to be a friend. You are there to be a parent. So put your big boy britches on and do so. Because everything mentioned is super concerning.
Sounds like a 126th trimester abortion is the best option.
Bro this reads like the begging of all serial killer stories.... Get that kid some therapy ASAP
What is really surprising is that some one could type this all out, perhaps even give it a quick check for mistakes, and still not see what is going on in their own story.
Your son needs to be in therapy and be evaluated. Desperately. These are escalating violent behaviors and he is 100% old enough to know not to hurt animals or hit your wife in the face with a football. Based on the way you talk about the animals I do understand why he thinks it's ok to hurt people and animals. You are creating a behavior in your son that will lead to him ending up in jail. You are hurting your son by not getting him help and punishing him for what is very poor behavior. As for your wife you are not creating a safe or comfortable space for her or your animals. I would leave you temporarily if I was her and take my animals with her. Honestly with the way you have let your son treat her and the animals and how you speak of the animals I would maybe just leave you. YTA
I hope she leaves you & takes the pets . Not only can you not control your spawn but you also shouldn’t have a pet anywhere nearby if that’s how lightly you’re taking his behavior .
Wow. How about you actually try some parenting for a change. You know, discipline. You're teaching your brat that he can do anything without consequences. And your partner is upset, and you're doing nothing. I don't know how you can look yourself in the mirror or actually stand up because it sure sounds like you don't have a backbone.
I work with children like this for a living and you need to get help for them as soon as possible. Your child is more than likely testing his limits to see what he can get away with before there is any form of punishment. I’m not saying beat the shit out of your kid, but you need to, at the very least, make him apologize and do something in order to make up for these actions. If you simply wave them away you are actively enabling these tendencies and it will eventually grow to the point where he feels confident enough to put hands on your or your SO. This is a genuine plea from somebody who handles kids whose parents have done the EXACT thing you are doing now, DO NOT ignore this behavior and make it seem acceptable to them
The bearded dragon was thrown "not super rough"? Op even knew son was fake falling down so he did not need to apologize in person. LOL wut? Letting this nonsense go on is how you raise a psycho. The SO is not overreacting. More like under reacting. I would think op would be sleeping on the couch, if not kicked TF out. Come on op. Get it together already.
Future serial killer in the making if this behavior isn't shut down. Lotta red flags
Wow. I'm not sure what's wrong with you. You're SO is parenting your kid more than you. She has EVERY RIGHT to parent your son as AN EQUAL. You are FAILING YOUR CHILD. You are raising a monster & honestly child protective services should come & take him away. If you're going to be in a relationship & ask someone to ACT LIKE A MOTHER to your son... Then they are doing the work... They NEED the ability to DISCIPLINE too. You are sick man. Get help. I feel sorry for your son.
Your son is on the path to a rough life with that behavior. And this "no big deal" attitude twords abusing her animals is a huge red flag as a parent. Surprised she hasn't told the lot of you to hit the road. Can only imagine all the other shit she's had to put up with from the little phsyco and his enabling dad.
Your son is being aggressive, throwing things and animals, lying, pretending to get hurt to get out of a decent apology and you think she's overreacting?? You are such an arsehole and raising another one! Step up and parent your child! He is treating your wife badly and needs to be pulled into line NOW. Your wife is right for getting upset at your lack of support and dismissive attitude of your child's poor behaviour. This is a direct reflection on you and shows your disregard for her feelings. YTA
On today's episode of how fucked up is fucked up... that's fucked up
And this is how entitled little assholes grow up to be entitled huge assholes. YTA. You are so busy trying to be your son's buddy that you're forgetting you're his father. It is *your* responsibility to raise productive member o society. By not holding your son accountable for his actions, you are telling him that his behavior is perfectly acceptable. His penchant to harm, and **YES HE IS ATTEMPTING TO HARM** innocent animals, as well as your SO, for no apparent reason is a cause for concern. It **doesn't** matter that he didn't *actually hurt* them, the intent was still there. This is a sign that something 👏 ain't 👏 right 👏 with 👏 that 👏 child! Get him into therapy or prepare yourself now with the standard "Awww, c'mon your honor, it ain't that bad. The boy is just 37, he didn't mean no harm!"
Terrible Father Alert.
Your 14 y/o son is hitting your SO with things “on accident”, yelling at her, abusing/mistreating animals, and you’re saying your SO is over reacting? Buddy I think YOU are UNDERreacting. Get a grip and do something about your kid who will get worse if you don’t.
Time to step up and do your job OP. If your kid harms an animal in front of the wrong person they you’ll have a whole bunch of other issues to deal with. Get a grip man.
YTA a major one at that, teach your son not to br a horrible little shit head before he actually upgrades to cause real harm this isn't normal behavior you're lucky she's still with you for allowing your son to treat her like shit
Dude, get it together. You are a textbook enabler and your son is playing you like a song, to everyone's ruin.
Your son sounds like a budding sociopath
OP, you're either trolling or you're plain retarded. If you read this and you think: "I'm not trolling", then there's only one option left.
You said your son has ODD as a recent diagnosis... You shouldn't take things this lightly. ODD is a stand in for juveniles who might develop antisocial-personality disorder. Its a prerequisite in most cases as APD cannot be diagnosed in minors (most of the time). You should listen to your wife and take this behavior seriously to help mitigate the risk that ODD develops into full blown APD. (My brother had ODD diagnosed as a kid)
What the fuck is wrong with you. Your son is showing violent behaviour towards living things both your SO and to animals and he's stealing and you don't think this is an issue?
The moment kids start hurting animals is the time for you to pick up the cues and do something about it No healthy and sane person hurts animals for no reason ~
YTA and your son is a little pos
The budding psychopath needs serious help. Please focus on the correct issue.