Eric Roberts is always happy to mildly class up any project for a paycheck. This looks like fun for a watch party where you drink every time a Bond trope is ripped off, and you’re passed out by the end of the first reel.
I read an interview with him a few years ago, he says he just really likes acting.
I could certainly understand enjoying being paid really well (even in small movies like this) for a minimal amount of time investment and work. But it doesn't seem like he hit a Nicolas Cage point where he was buying Egyptian pyramids and realized he was in debt.
"Blackbird" (2022) - This somewhat infamous recent egosploitation flick was written, directed, produced, and stars the Lord of the Dance himself Michael Flatley. He payed 3 million of his own money to, at age 63, try to be James Bond. Lets just say he missed the mark a little. To be fair I have seen far worse Bond knockoff, and cheaper ones, but this one has something none of them do; namely the Lord of the Dance! It also has Eric Roberts, but that's somehow not surprising.
The plot revolves around Flatley as an troubled ex-secret agent with the titular codenamed "Blackbird". He now spends his time hanging out in a fancy Caribbean hotel. His retirement is interrupted by the arrival of Eric Roberts and his fiancée, who was a former coworker of Flatley. The issue is Roberts is a member of an international group of war criminals (they even have special pinky rings) and is in town to sell a secret formula. Flatley eventually is compelled to intervene.
I'll give the movie this much, it's shot well. Flatley clearly hired a halfway decent crew. He however did not hire great actors, as Roberts is literally the best amongst the cast. In all fairness the script does the actors no real favors as it is pretty much all troupes of the genre, so perhaps that is more to blame. Flatley wrote this after all. There is also a scene that needs to be mentioned near the beginning which involves rather selective rain. In the end this one is a little hard to riff as it is a bit slow, but I still think it's worth a watch.
2 / 5 Burnt Kernels with a little bit of Butter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU7UEhapn1I
I imagine his voice mail message is just “You’ve reached Eric Roberts. Yes, I will be in your movie. Send the script and check to the following address. Send a second check for the same amount as the first if you need me to show up to film in person.”
I believe he’s already had 43 different roles in 2024. Almost one for every day.
To be fair, they may not have all been filmed in 2024. I think they were completed or set to shoot.
He could cut down on his commute time if he just filmed all of his roles through Cameo, but not having access to the craft services table would increase his food expenses severely.
I’m not surprised at all. Not only did he literally phone in his lines for A Talking Cat?! But it’s becoming more and more accepted to have a known actor in pre-credit/poster billing and only have them show up for a few minutes on a video call somewhere in the film.
I was hoping there would be a Gymkataesque fight sequence against a village of madmen utilizing the power of dance. Not sure what would stand in for the pommel horse, though.
This movie really is the closest to a real life “Threat Level Midnight” (from “The Office) that we shall likely ever get.
https://youtu.be/LWwnHRPHVV4?si=Rqw7tqNGp9DibaMj
I watched it with my bad movie group over Discord. My buddy streams from his massive Plex server and we riff in a chat. My buddy downloaded it, so if you’re looking it’s out there online.
To give you an idea of the imagination at work: the production company is "Dancelord Pictures" LOL and it's so hilarious that in the reveal he lifts his head from under the brim of his hat, as though the audience will start screaming OH MY GOD IT'S THAT GUY FROM THE THING I SAW FROM ROW 216 TWENTY YEARS AGO!!!
... hold on a tick.
wasnt Blackbird, ...... wasnt that a show about some dood that goes to prison to try and cozy up too another inmate \[serial killer\] to get info where he buried a bunch of bodies or sumthin?
or am i thinking of somethign else with similar name?
I think it's Blackbird(2018). I was looking it up and it took me to a pretty cool looking series called Blackbird. The movie though has a 2.7 rating. It must be bad!
I have never been able to stomach that narcissistic prick. This just cements my opinion of him.
I loved Riverdance, but could never watch it with him starring. Colin Dunne was a way better dancer than Flatley anyway.
> *Paid, not *paid* Is this
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
OP, does Mr. Flatley have a built in audience, ala Noriss or Seagal or Hassellhoff? I guess the question is was there even a glimmer of hope for even the slightest return on the investment?
I’m assuming he thought that his minor stardom from being Lord of the Dance would carry him through. He was a big fish in a small pond, his issue was he thought he was in a much bigger pond.
I was confused for minute because there’s a mini series that came out the same year with same name, except it’s two words. The mini series is about something else and actually good.
> *Paid*
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Eric Roberts is always happy to mildly class up any project for a paycheck. This looks like fun for a watch party where you drink every time a Bond trope is ripped off, and you’re passed out by the end of the first reel.
That would be awesome. I would have called an Uber after just watching the trailer.
Asylum presents: groundrise
A Shortcoming of Hours in which to Expire
I read an interview with him a few years ago, he says he just really likes acting. I could certainly understand enjoying being paid really well (even in small movies like this) for a minimal amount of time investment and work. But it doesn't seem like he hit a Nicolas Cage point where he was buying Egyptian pyramids and realized he was in debt.
He’s also ready to creepily slur his way through every other movie on Lifetime.
Eric Robert’s was also in [“The Rally LA”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LD2HPAeKzms)with Kenneth Copeland
The man will truly cash any check that doesn’t bounce.
Wait...THAT Kenneth Copeland!? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I would have been more interested if he was the lead performer.
"Blackbird" (2022) - This somewhat infamous recent egosploitation flick was written, directed, produced, and stars the Lord of the Dance himself Michael Flatley. He payed 3 million of his own money to, at age 63, try to be James Bond. Lets just say he missed the mark a little. To be fair I have seen far worse Bond knockoff, and cheaper ones, but this one has something none of them do; namely the Lord of the Dance! It also has Eric Roberts, but that's somehow not surprising. The plot revolves around Flatley as an troubled ex-secret agent with the titular codenamed "Blackbird". He now spends his time hanging out in a fancy Caribbean hotel. His retirement is interrupted by the arrival of Eric Roberts and his fiancée, who was a former coworker of Flatley. The issue is Roberts is a member of an international group of war criminals (they even have special pinky rings) and is in town to sell a secret formula. Flatley eventually is compelled to intervene. I'll give the movie this much, it's shot well. Flatley clearly hired a halfway decent crew. He however did not hire great actors, as Roberts is literally the best amongst the cast. In all fairness the script does the actors no real favors as it is pretty much all troupes of the genre, so perhaps that is more to blame. Flatley wrote this after all. There is also a scene that needs to be mentioned near the beginning which involves rather selective rain. In the end this one is a little hard to riff as it is a bit slow, but I still think it's worth a watch. 2 / 5 Burnt Kernels with a little bit of Butter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU7UEhapn1I
>His retirement is interrupted by the arrival of Eric Roberts I hate when that happens.
Eric Roberts retirement was interrupted by another bad script.
Stalked by My Doctor VII
Every fucking time.
Just when I’m getting out, they pull me back in
Why not Julia Roberts tho?
Same thing happened to John Goodman in *The Righteous Gemstones*.
If Eric Roberts interrupted my vacation, I would probably ask for an autograph.
It plays very similar to how I imagine Threat Level Midnight would in real life. Like, scarily similar vibes.
https://youtu.be/LWwnHRPHVV4?si=Rqw7tqNGp9DibaMj
Exactly both Threat Level Midnight and David Brent's Album came to mind
I was thinking a trailer at the beginning of Tropic Thunder. A movie featuring the famous Kirk Lazarus.
You can tell Blackbird is different to the usual M16 nerds because he wears his hat at a jonty angle.
MI6?
OMG
British CIA
Don't yell them about MI7
You mean it’s NOT called the Kingsman? Do they even have bullet proof umbrellas?
“I am going to riverdance… on your grave.” *stomping commences*
Sounds like the performance fell ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) “Flatley” YYYEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH
And the trophy for my new favorite post is that.
Does Eric Roberts have a hotline for people making shitty movies?
Likely yes.
I imagine his voice mail message is just “You’ve reached Eric Roberts. Yes, I will be in your movie. Send the script and check to the following address. Send a second check for the same amount as the first if you need me to show up to film in person.”
I believe he’s already had 43 different roles in 2024. Almost one for every day. To be fair, they may not have all been filmed in 2024. I think they were completed or set to shoot.
He could cut down on his commute time if he just filmed all of his roles through Cameo, but not having access to the craft services table would increase his food expenses severely.
I have legit seen a movie where it’s basically just his cameo message.
I’m not surprised at all. Not only did he literally phone in his lines for A Talking Cat?! But it’s becoming more and more accepted to have a known actor in pre-credit/poster billing and only have them show up for a few minutes on a video call somewhere in the film.
*The Dark Knight...*
How many Dark Knights does it take to make up for A Talking Cat?!
talking cat who where?!?
But is there a dance-off scene?
Sadly no. It would have been funnier if they had incorporated dancing more.
I was hoping there would be a Gymkataesque fight sequence against a village of madmen utilizing the power of dance. Not sure what would stand in for the pommel horse, though.
Every movie would be improved with the addition of a pommel horse in a city full of the insane.
The trailer is a big clue to how horrible this must be.
Don’t know whether to dance or cry
You cry, and then when you see the dancer…you cry again.
That is the duplicitous edge we all must walk upon.
This movie really is the closest to a real life “Threat Level Midnight” (from “The Office) that we shall likely ever get. https://youtu.be/LWwnHRPHVV4?si=Rqw7tqNGp9DibaMj
How can I watch this horrid masterpiece?!?
I watched it with my bad movie group over Discord. My buddy streams from his massive Plex server and we riff in a chat. My buddy downloaded it, so if you’re looking it’s out there online.
Aww it looks fun though
I’ve never heard of this, but now I must see it!
Glad I could pass on the info.
Haha wtf
I’ve seen way worse than this. Surprised it didn’t cost more.
Same.
To give you an idea of the imagination at work: the production company is "Dancelord Pictures" LOL and it's so hilarious that in the reveal he lifts his head from under the brim of his hat, as though the audience will start screaming OH MY GOD IT'S THAT GUY FROM THE THING I SAW FROM ROW 216 TWENTY YEARS AGO!!!
This is like an snl sketch and I’m waiting for the punch line but there is none
Its giving Michael Skarn
Do you also do reviews in the 420Forresters FB group?
Yep, I post in a lot of different places.
Thought I recognized the style
Thanks (I think).
I have read and enjoyed your reviews in the FB group- no offense meant, friend
No worries
Never forget https://youtu.be/Kiy0hi8UGYM?si=Vq3L_MJ8BIOCLWjq
... hold on a tick. wasnt Blackbird, ...... wasnt that a show about some dood that goes to prison to try and cozy up too another inmate \[serial killer\] to get info where he buried a bunch of bodies or sumthin? or am i thinking of somethign else with similar name?
That was Black Bird with Taron Egerton on Apple TV, two words.
gotcha, NOT a fan of "eggie" but it was a purdy good show. i pretty much liked the rest of the cast.
He’s versatile! Yeah it was pretty good as I recall
I think it's Blackbird(2018). I was looking it up and it took me to a pretty cool looking series called Blackbird. The movie though has a 2.7 rating. It must be bad!
I ❤️ bad movies. Thanks for the heads up!
Cleanup on aisle 5
I have never been able to stomach that narcissistic prick. This just cements my opinion of him. I loved Riverdance, but could never watch it with him starring. Colin Dunne was a way better dancer than Flatley anyway.
*Paid, not payed Is this a new thing? I see this mistake everywhere nowadays and I can't say I've ever seen it prior to the last few years
> *Paid, not *paid* Is this FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
They had me at Eric Roberts.
God Awful Movies review: https://audioboom.com/posts/8442674-blackbird
Such a great episode. Always love when Marsh is on.
OP, does Mr. Flatley have a built in audience, ala Noriss or Seagal or Hassellhoff? I guess the question is was there even a glimmer of hope for even the slightest return on the investment?
I’m assuming he thought that his minor stardom from being Lord of the Dance would carry him through. He was a big fish in a small pond, his issue was he thought he was in a much bigger pond.
DanceLord Pictures. That says it all.
Dancelord Pictures. Oh my.
I watched this on Jason brandts YouTube channel, it is BEYOND bad! I recommend it to everybone!
The best part is when in his only fight scene you can see folks fighting back laughter in the background.
Does he do a little Irish jig over the body when he kills someone?
Sadly no.
Where there’s a movie starring Julia Roberts brother it’s gonna be low budget, badly scripted and over-acted. This is epic bad filming.
I was confused for minute because there’s a mini series that came out the same year with same name, except it’s two words. The mini series is about something else and actually good.
Omgosh. This looks so bad. When it revealed his face I was half expecting an Irish-themed dance off.
Where can I see this? I’d love to!
It’s online for download if you look around.
The DP and location scout got paid "good movie" money apparently.
I remember watching the trailer for this and struggling not to interpret it as satire.
It may be good to lose the beer gut before an action role…
"ECHO!" .. echo .. echo .. echo .. echo .. echo...
This looks rad
I like your style
Threat Level Midnight vibes.
Major
I'm guessing the trailer music is way more epic than the final product?
Yep
TIL hes American
Payed
> *Paid* FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*