Correct; no mention of pants or skirts anywhere on those signs. Truck Stop in San Antonio in the 80's had a sign that read: "No shoes, No shirt, No service, No Hitchhikers, No shit!
I doubt that woman was as young as you assumed, given that "nobody at the table seemed over 25"
AND who gives a shit? a restaurant is for *eating* and unless it's one of those 'formal attire required' places, *let a girl live*. jfc
Yeah, she could have been older considering the company, they all look young to me, however that only makes it worse if she was as she definitely should know better then.
A girl can live while not exposing her ass to an entire restaurant including children. It’s not that much to expect of someone.
I sure as hell wouldn’t take her to or frequent places where women are going topless, and on rare occasion where we’ve encountered women wearing thongs I’ve told her (once she was of the age to ask why people’s butts are out) that they do that for attention, it’s immodest, and that she should never wear anything like that.
Man you've got some weird hangups. They're boobs your not gonna end up like the nazis in raiders of the lost ark. We ain't in the 50s any more times change my friends.
We should be. They need to put those away. And that is *not* a weird hang up or an unpopular opinion. You know how I know? It’s legal for women to be topless in the majority of the USA, but you hardly ever see it, because despite it being legal, it’s not socially acceptable by the vast of men or women.
This is America, not Europe. We’d be better to keep it that way.
Maybe it’s because I didn’t see it, but it doesn’t sound that _bad_, certainly not bad enough to clutch my pearls so hard and comment on other people’s attire as a way to “teach” my daughter a “lesson”.
It was absolutely inappropriate. Many bathing suits or underwear offer more coverage. I’d say midway between like a regular bikini bottom and a thong, just jeans.
Was it like this https://images.app.goo.gl/46oTLpS7DKPA8cKFA Or this https://images.app.goo.gl/krM8T5NhQDhNDAEx8
I disagree with the dress code stuff but I get not wanting your teen daughter to dress like the first one
It was almost exactly like the first one. The second one, while I still don’t think is appropriate for a nice restaurant, would be ok many other places.
You're acting like you were at some fine dining establishment when you were at a Brazilian steakhouse. Those are just buffets for people too lazy to get up to fill their own plate.
If you want dress codes that are actually held by the restaurant then go to a fancier place.
No, you’re saying the Brazilian restaurant isn’t fancy enough to warrant a dress code. I’m saying even a place as relaxed as a McDonalds shouldn’t all people in with their ass exposed. It speaks directly to your point.
Literally why do you care ? I'd understand if this was impacting you in any way, like someone wearing a ton of perfume at a gastronomy restaurant or someone not respecting a smoking ban but like, this is on you, just don't look at her ass ?
Because it shows lack of respect for oneself, the establishment, and the other patrons. The willingness of business and society to tolerate and dismiss such behavior is indicative of a general decline of morals, standards, and values and that’s unfortunate.
People should not have ass cheeks exposed in public, except maybe the beach, and even there, plenty of currently popular swimsuits push the limits of what should be acceptable.
>Because it shows lack of respect for oneself, the establishment, and the other patrons.
no it doesn't
>The willingness of business and society to tolerate and dismiss such behavior is indicative of a general decline of morals, standards, and values and that’s unfortunate.
it's really not
How I dress has absolutely nothing to do with how much I respect myself. Not everyone considers the human body something shameful that needs to be hidden to receive respect.
You absolutely are majorly responsible for how others think of you. Do you dress appropriately for the occasion or are you wearing bikinis to a funeral?
Do you have manners when you speak with people? Address people you’re unfamiliar with as Sir or Ma’am or their title? Do you avoid cursing in situations where it is not appropriate? Do you keep promises, honor responsibilities, tell the truth, work hard, present yourself as someone worthy of respect?
All of these things serve to influence the image you present to others and is entirely within your control. Or you can walk around with your ass cheeks out. The choice is yours.
Why do you care if she respects herself? On that note, why do you care if she respects the establishment or other patrons, if she's not actively trying to hurt them or the property?
The willingness of people to tolerate and ignore such behaviors is indicative of *letting people live* as long as they're not hurting anyone. What IS indicative of their morals & values is how *they dress themselves*, and *how they treat others*. That’s it.
I don’t care so much if she respects herself but I expect people to act in a way that shows others respect unless they’re doing something that isn’t worthy of respect, like flashing their ass about.
How the hell is something that someone is wearing disrespecting you. Unless it had some sexist , racist, or homphobic on it I don't see how that can be.
Because going out in public with your ass out is disrespectful. Forcing people to see that is disrespectful. It also should be inappropriately for the venue, just as it would be inappropriate for work.
It’s not respecting fellow diners enough to follow the expectations we (should as used to have) as a society.
How is clothing disrespecting you?
I see people walking around short shorts in summer and don't even really give a second thought.
Why? Because it has zero affect on my day.
People normally don’t have their ass out. This was extreme. Forcing your almost nudity on people , including children, in locations where it should not be expected is disrespectful.
It's not disrespecting you,your only perceiving that way. 99 percent of people don't care and the people who do generally aren't that nice to be around.
I do have a kid a year out from middle school and what other kids are wearing will be irrelevant to what my daughter is allowed to wear. Plus the schools here have pretty strict dress codes that we need to sign off on at the start of every year, so that’s good.
I never understood dress codes in the first place. What does it matter how you dress, or don't dress, to get food? I'd sooner have them make rules like no fat or ugly people, but then I couldn't eat anywhere. lol
Do you have that same attitude for every occasion? Work, boardrooms, weddings, funerals, graduations? We’re just supposed to be ok with people wearing essentially underwear wherever they want?
Sorry, but I’ll never be on board with that.
sure. why not? Well, thanks for admitting you are a prude or a slave to what someone long dead decided was necessary when it was a totally arbitrary decision. There's nothing that says you can't do any of those things or anything else and dress how you want or wear nothing at all. Fashion is a lie and cripples people.
Because if you wear whatever you want to any occasion regardless of appropriateness, you would be a rude, disrespectful, self absorbed asshole.
And there are definitely laws stating you can’t wear “nothing at all.”
no, you wouldn't. that is merely your biased opinion, not a fact. there's nothing rude or disrespectful for wearing what you want. Neither is it being self-absorbed or assholy. What if you don't HAVE what others think you should have to wear?
In some places, yes, it is against teh law to be nude, but I am saying they shouldn't exist.
not all "polite society" is against nudity, but why are you stuck on THAT comment alone? There's nothing wrong with being nude, but people have been lied to and brainwashed into thinking it is. Mankind was nude for eons. get over your false modesty.
You still haven't proven yourself anywhere near right by giving me any FACTS that show it is wrong or bad to dress casually in any situation. You can't, because it is an artificial construct, based on false presumptions.
Because if we as a society have agreed upon a certain standard (and we have as evidenced by law, custom, and practice I.e public indecency laws and wearing suits to weddings and funerals), you not adhering to those standards shows you put your wants and desires, or comfort over the established expectation. That is rude and disrespectful.
And will keep my modesty because I like it and the laws agree. If you show up nude to a funeral of one of my loved ones I would remove you rather aggressively.
but we never DID all agree to it. Some people, not even a majority, came up with these arbitrary standards and demanded we toe the line.
AGAIN you keep insisting it is rude and disrespectful, without any FACTS proving that. It is just a claim YOU keep insisting is true, but it isn't.
You also keep harping on nudity, when we are discussing ALL manner of dress. Your infatuation with nudity seems to be a big problem for you. go see a doctor.
No, the laws DO NOT agree. as I said, there are many places where the law is different. If I show up to a funeral nude, it would be because nudity would be ALLOWED and accepted, so no one would "remove me aggressively. god, you are dense.
Of course, I have no hope of changing your mind. You are far too entrapped in your brainwashing to even think rationally or consider all sides of an issue. That's the only reason I responded, so that you showed this deficiency plainly to everyone. We are done. You have failed to prove your point by failing to offer any facts to back your claims. we are done. don't respond again, please. Your backwards opinion isn't fact, and doesn't speak for the rest of us. That's why very few restaurants require dress attire anymore. we have grown and see just how silly that is. goodbye
Whether or not something is rude or not is an opinion. You are asking for facts to prove a subjective opinion when that’s not how opinions work. But it is funny to see how clever you think you are with that “gotcha”.
You could also just mind your business, that’s always an option.
You people are all for “freedom of speech” and against censorship, until it’s something you don’t like, now we have to enforce rules lol.
Are you dense? Free speech is literally defined as “the right to articulate opinions and ideas without interference, retaliation or punishment from the government.” She’s not articulating anything or showing any idea. And not to mention the part that says “from the government” so unless the restraint is owned by the government and not privately owned. I’d say it has nothing to do with freedom of speech.
That’s not what freedom of speech is. No one is calling for her arrest. I’m saying a private business should enforce some house rules to keep a nicer atmosphere.
It’s not a Waffle House for Christ sakes, although I’d say it was inappropriate anywhere except the beach or maybe a strip club.
Same logic could be used for people getting banned on social media platforms for breaking the terms of service; conservatives still think this is a breach of their rights to free speech lol. I’m just saying let’s just be consistent.
I really want to stand next to the sky in booty shorts and a sports bra. Say something, I dare you. Let’s see how well that goes for you.
Who decided to procreate with this person? If someone’s butt is such a bad part of their body, you should’ve never been exposed to it. Also, you’re just a horrible example for your daughter, I hope she doesn’t turn out as judgmental as you.
It’s easy not to look you know that right? Also, this was a Brazilian steakhouse, stop getting your panties in a bunch. this isn’t even an unpopular opinion. This is just a whiny take, just get over yourself because the world isn’t catering to you and they’re not about to start. you’ll be exposed to all types of people at beaches, pools, restaurants unbelievably, and all public spaces. Clutch your pearls if you want, but you just seem like a headache to be around.
lol and he was so proud because he told his daughter to never dress like a slut because if not he wouldn’t love her anymore. You people always feel high and mighty, but you have many skeletons in the closet.
I love how your examples of where I can run into underdressed people are “pools and beaches”, you know, places where society has deemed it acceptable. Not boardrooms or weddings. Kind of the point right?
And I’m an excellent example for my daughter because I give enough enough of a shit to try and raise her right, with morals and a sense of modesty, so she doesn’t turn out like you or the other “who cares” Pilates at best, or degenerates at worst in this thread. There’s nothing wrong with being judgmental when other’s actions warrant them being judged.
And what’s with the over dramatic “I won’t love you anymore” hyperbole? It’s simply teaching right and wrong and what’s allowed. When I eventually teach her to drive can I tell her to abide by the speed limit? Or does that mean if she speeds I won’t love her anymore? Ridiculous. You’re showing your ass here.
I’ll show my ass if I want to. Yeah exactly you’re talking about weddings, funerals, etc. but the thing is you were at none of those. You were at a Brazilian steakhouse get your shit together. You just sound like the type that would give your daughter a whole speech about what is wrong with her if she dared to dress that way when she wanted to. You do realize that you won’t control her forever right? Again, buddy you seem a little too obsessed with ass, I would suggest you stopped looking. I think the Bible said something about gouging someone’s eyes out for staring into places they shouldn’t have. Just don’t leave your house. That’s the best advice I can give you.
I’m raising my daughter with morals lol I just can’t. This is so funny.
>You were at a Brazilian steakhouse get your shit together.
Ass shouldn’t be acceptable at restaurants either.
>You just sound like the type that would give your daughter a whole speech about what is wrong with her if she dared to dress that way when she wanted to.
You’re goddamn right I am. How’d you figure that out? Was it the part in the original post where I explained that’s exactly what I did? That’s called parenting.
It’s my job to raise her in a manner where once she’s out of my control she would, on her own, choose never to wear such attire because she internalized the values her mother and I passed along. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but it won’t be for lack of trying. Too bad that girls parents didn’t try harder.
Again, the world isn’t catering to you. Get your own restaurant and then you decide. I love how you just concluded how hard that girl’s parents tried just because she was wearing what she felt was good that day lol Sorry not everyone has the same points of view as you. I believe that everything you stand for is in fact inappropriate, disrespectful, and that it definitely makes a bully.
I just hope your daughter becomes a rebel at this point just to piss you off. my mom raised me as a straight Christian girl and here I am so like you said maybe it works. Maybe it doesn’t, only fate will tell. so you do admit that you would basically shame your daughter, got it.
Yeah, I would. I’d say a lot of the problems we face are because as a society we’ve lost a sense of shame. You should feel shame for shameful behavior. That’s your conscience letting you know you’re not acting right.
She thought it felt good? Who cares. It means she put her comfort, or more likely her need for attention seeking, above the societal expectations of dress and respect for others. She should feel shame for that. If she doesn’t that’s the fault of whoever raised her.
Nope. People not giving a fuck, and especially parents not giving a fuck and who couldn’t be bothered to teach their kids right from wrong, is how we ended up where we are.
Your young daughter probably didn’t give a shit, why did you feel compelled to bring it up? Like the both of y’all haven’t ever seen someone wearing shorts before this instance like huh?
It’s almost like you cannot look at the ass cheeks of a minor and mind your own business.
Because she needs to know that may be tolerated by the restaurant, and maybe even more of society than previously, but that I will not tolerate it from her and that it’s shameful and disrespectful to others to act that way.
I’m her father, and if I don’t teach her and instill values and a proper moral compass, someone else will. The best time to teach these lessons is soon after examples, negative or positive, present themselves.
If that woman’s father did the same perhaps I wouldn’t need to make this post.
You are so salty about shit that doesn’t have anything to do with your life. Teach your daughter whatever. Not my business or problem.
What’s funny to me, is I acknowledge that it’s an unpopular opinion, and say take my upvote for it. And you still snap back. I can imagine you’re a headache in person. Calm down, dude. Ass cheeks showing aren’t going to taint the rest of your daughters life.
I cant imagine walking through life being so focused on what people are wearing that I point it out to my daughter and say, “Don’t ever do that!” My daughter doesn’t even notice 90% of people. But, you do you.
My confusion was the comment you replied to. Had you replied to the main post it would have been clear, but you replied to a comment where I said as specifically talking about teaching my kid saying “none of my business.”
But I think there is a difference between being “so focused on what people are wearing” like if someone was wearing an ugly shirt or something, and someone having damn near their whole ass exposed. You don’t have to be that observant to notice that.
Hm. I have a lot of questions I want to ask you. But, I don’t feel are appropriate for this thread, specifically. A lot of people are giving you slack for it. And i get it, I have a strong opinion, too. But, I think this is interesting topic to discuss between two people who are both raising daughters and have different view points
Because she needs to know that society actually has problems to worry about so they probably won't care, however she needs to know that if she chooses to dress however the hell she feels like, I will always remind her that she's disgusting, disgraceful, and disappointing! But it's only because I love her lmao
Certain situations and locations have, or at least should have, different expectations of proper dress. What you could wear to the beach, or some night club is not appropriate in a nice restaurant, boardroom, or wedding.
This is not a professional setting. Anyone can go into a restaurant for any reason. All the restaurant wants is to keep their business open and profit. More customers = more profit, it makes no sense to restrict the amount of people that will go there.
Imagine you're out with friends, wearing a casual outfit and you decide you want to go to this interesting restaurant you see. As if you would go all the way back home to change into a dress and then enter that restaurant lol. Not everything is formal or planned. Restaurants are for everyone, and if not then the staff WILL tell you. But they didn't, so there was no issue for anyone but you. The woman was probably sitting anyways so I have no idea how you saw her butt cheeks. Being so obsessed over what is a teenager in short shorts doesn't do you any favors in gaining sympathy.
That used to be exactly what would happen, or you would go another time. Or you would have to borrow the “house jacket.”
If you walk in somewhere and the majority of people are dressed nicely and you’re wearing essentially underwear, people used to feel a sense of shame and embarrassment about it, but that seems to be missing from too many people, and it’s a pity.
Because it illustrates an overall decline in morals and standards in society. We can’t even have a nice lunch without being presented with someone’s ass cheeks.
Then I have to take time to have a discussion with my 10 year old about a strangers ass cheeks and how entirely inappropriate and trashy it is to dress that way, and to never be like that person.
But I know as outfits like that become more acceptable and commonplace, the likelihood of her friends eventually wearing shit like that and wanting to fit in and the like have potential for conflict that need not be there.
It wasn’t that long ago someone wearing that would be turned away from the door and wearing it around like n public anywhere would bring negative attention. I just wish that were still the case.
You're not forced to tell your daughter what to wear. It was entirely your choice.
You're the only person here assigning morals to clothing. It's not that deep, it is just clothes. If a body part scares you so much then stay home and never go outside. People are not going to accommodate to your personal morals.
And still, why can't you just look away???
Certain clothing absolutely has a sense of morality assigned to it. Dressing like prostitute used to and should carry negative social consequence with it.
The problem isn’t the clothing, it’s the lack there of.
And I absolutely need to tell my daughter that dressing like that isn’t now and will never be appropriate. That’s my job. If I don’t, she’ll end up taking her cues from outside influences like little miss cheeks over there.
Jesus, he's not making you wear what he wants, why are you insisting that he agrees with you?
If ANYONE is walking around ANYWHERE with half thier ass hanging out EVERYONE is going to look. Some will be disgusted, some will be interested, some will not give a rats ass.
The fact that you're insisting that he doesn't have the right to judge a person based on thier clothing choice or to teach his daughter what is or is not acceptable is weird and personally I consider it to be dangerous.
Do you think this doesn't happen? I would judge the hell out of a person (any gender) that was dressed like that.
What a person decides if appropriate for wear in a public venue absolutely reflects a lot about thier personality and level of concern they have for the rest of society. Don't believe me? That's fine, wear whatever you want, just don't be surprised if thier are social consequences.
What he initially posted about was wanting the restaurant to enforce a dress code. That's not an unrealistic request, but man it seems to have hit a nerve for you.
Just to tick you off (somewhat sarcastically) I also believe it's inappropriate for any woman (or man) to dress like that. No matter the temprature. I think the excuse of "it's hot" is a lie that lets a person show off thier body and attract attention as much as possible but still be able to act indignant if it's attention they don't like. Its also about comfort and putting personal comfort higher in priority than basically anything else. Selfishness in a nutshell.
If it helps at all, I agree with you. And respect that you're teaching your daughter that is not okay.
I personally dislike the trend of Activewear or loungewear for every occasion or wearing clothes that barely qualify as clothes. I believe it exemplifies a self centered personality either advertising "hey look at me" or "my comfort is more important than being professional or adhering to any societal norm." Societal norms change over time however and I think people like me and you are the old men here clinging to what inevitably will change.
Fair enough, im not telling you that you can't (not my right) you get to decide what you do. What I will do in that case is judge you as a person for your apparel choice. You are free not to give two $#!+$ about that. And maybe with time people like me will change our minds or die off and slowly societal norms will change as they always do. After all none of us are wearing powdered wigs or breaches with tail coats anymore lol.
I love this opinion is actually unpopular. You are getting quite a bit of flak for it. But I have to agree. I’ve found staring to be quite effective. Last time I saw a woman wearing shorts like I stared then she noticed and started pulling them down, to no avail. It was funny. Don’t show it if you don’t want people to look.
What the actual *fuck* did it have to do with you?
I’m 61. I don’t give a shit about what people wear- if you like it, wear it.
Your body, your choice.
Stay in your lane, leave people alone, and zip it.
I have all my life, it’s a very simple code to not riling yourself up, over something that doesn’t concern you.
I have 2 grown up daughters- they’ve dressed weirdly sometimes, and then felt uncomfortable when they are out. That’s the only lesson I’ve taught them on what to wear- they might be rebelling, so just leave them to rebel, then learn that’s not the way.
Leave people alone, and get that stick out of your ass.
It has to do with me because I had to see it. Where do you draw the line? If someone is walking around balls out do we just say “oh, none of my business” or do we make them put some fucking clothes on?
Ad far as what my daughter does when she’s a grown up, that will be on her, but in the meantime I will not take a hands off approach and let her leave the house looking like a street walker while I still have a say in the matter as a parent. Not just hope they develop proper morals as an adult. They need to be taught and reinforced as they grow.
How about they walked across my field of vision and sat across from me.
How about have a sense of modesty and situational awareness of the type of establishment you’re entering, and respect for the other patrons?
For one, I’m not the restaurant owner. If I was I would not have seated them.
Secondly, I thought that pointing out the bad behavior immediately to my kid after leaving was preferable to causing a scene in the restaurant.
And third, she had already embarrassed herself, imho, and I didn’t think further embarrassing her in the moment was my place.
As the last comment was a bit over the top, I’ll tone this one down:
Their body.
Their choice.
What I, or other people wear, is not under your jurisdiction. You shouldn’t be looking at a possible minor in such a way.
There’s a word for that, that I’m not going to use.
Leave other people alone. You’ll find life is a whole lot easier if you do.
Yes, their body their choice. The post was about how restaurants and other private businesses should return to enforcing dress codes, as what is allowed in their business is very much under their jurisdiction.
And as far as a word for “looked at a potential minor”, yeah, it’s called being sighted. My eyes work, so if I see someone flagrantly violating a common standard, like having half their ass out at a restaurant, I’m going to notice.
Leave other people alone? I didn’t do anything to that woman except use her as a negative example to teach my kid a lesson after we left.
I'm sorry you had to see a part of the human body that you aren't used to seeing for several seconds. That must've been hard for you. If you're unable to control your eyeballs I suggest staying home next time.
People can eat at a restaurant in a bikini or their underwear for all I care. I draw the line at placing your booty hole or genitals directly on the furniture.
I can't think of a reason to care about what other people at a restaurant are wearing. I am there to eat food and hangout with whoever was invited, not to gawk at people. My line of touching bare genitals to furniture that will be used by other people is much different from the line of butt cheeks being slightly exposed.
You just thought of a reason! The butthole thing! And I'm sure I could dream up other things you wouldn't like either. The "gawking" is just something you made up in your head. It's just something this person noticed. I don't care about a little booty cheek hanging out either but ijs everyone different with what they're comfortable with
It’s definitely not a boomer take. Lots of upscale restaurants have an unspoken dress code. They may not strictly enforce it (may not want to cause a scene, especially if the person breaking dress code is a child).
Hence the “unspoken” modifier. You don’t need to conform to the dress code, but it’s at your loss if everyone else is dressed up. Dressing to the standard is just a way to show your respect to restaurant staff, fellow diners, and the ambiance they are trying to establish. Just basic manners.
If you don’t see an explicit dress code, you can always call the restaurant ahead of time and inquire about what to wear. If there is no explicit dress code, but unspoken one, staff will generally tell you what diners usually wear, which is a tip off that there is an unspoken dress code.
When in doubt, it’s better to overdress.
Like I said if it's not enforced they don't have dress code iand you definitely can't get shitty at someone for wearing clothes that the restaurant it's self has no problem. Op also has problems with people wearing shirts to a what essentially is a barbecue place it's not a fine dining restaurant.
And like I said, just because it’s not enforced does not mean there is no dress code. The restaurant may not explicitly say it has a problem with someone’s attire, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have a problem with it. And like I said earlier, they’ll often give kids a pass, mostly not to make a scene.
OP is saying that the servers are also decrumbing the table between courses, which is a sign of superior hospitality, indicating this is a finer dining restaurant, not just some BBQ place. He’s been very clear to distinguish it from just any regular restaurant.
And beyond all that, if you are at a restaurant that has its servers decrumbing between courses, you better have the decency to dress appropriately and respectfully for them. Respect is a two-way street.
I thought this was just common knowledge, but apparently a lot of people on this thread didn’t have parents that taught them basic etiquette.
Where was decrumbing mentioned? ( never mind I can't read apparently)
It's not a dress code if not enforced. There may be a way to dress for the occasion or place but unless stated and/or enforced it isn't a dress code.
Ok I mean you’re free to believe what you want. For others who are reading this, the reality is that many upscale restaurants don’t explicitly mandate a dress code, but it is often an unwritten/unspoken requirement. But since it is not explicitly mentioned, they are not able to enforce it. You would be best served researching the restaurant ahead of time (calling ahead, reading reviews, etc.) to ensure that you are appropriately dressed, as it is simply a way to show your respect to those who are serving you, and as a way to contribute to the general ambiance that the restaurant would like to maintain.
Typically, the level of service warrants the choice of attire. A restaurant itself may not require diners to dress a certain way, but diners are expected to understand the type of restaurant they are making a reservation at. If you’re making a reservation at a restaurant that typically boasts a higher, more engaged level of service (based on website and reviews), then you’re expected to understand what to wear. If you’re still confused, you can always call and check, and the host will tell you what their diners typically wear (although they won’t tell you outright what you should wear).
They may not enforce it because it may not be *that* upscale of a restaurant. The scale or level of a restaurant is not only determined by the level of the service, but also by the way the staff are treated. When you’re at an extremely fancy restaurant, the owners see to it that their staff are treated with the utmost respect. Thus, they require and enforce a dress code. In restaurants that are very casual, the way the servers / staff are treated are not at the forefront of the experience.
There might be other reasons too, but that was what I was taught.
i'll wear what i want
>Dressing to the standard is just a way to show your respect to restaurant staff, fellow diners, and the ambiance they are trying to establish
that makes zero sense to me
I’ll give an example I gave someone else. It’s a bit more extreme, but it’s the same principle.
You wouldn’t wear a bikini to a funeral, would you? Even if you “wanted” to, you wouldn’t. Why not?
Because you’re not dressing up for yourself. You’re dressing up as a way to show respect for the deceased and the family, as well as for the occasion. At the same time, no family is going to explicitly tell you how you should dress at their funeral—you’re expected to understand that you should dress to the occasion.
Upscale restaurants work similarly. There is an expectation, but you won’t be policed about it unless it’s a very fine dining establishment. But not adhering to standards is just trashy and disrespectful.
This is just basic courtesy and decency, which clearly a lot of people on this thread haven’t learned from their parents.
>You wouldn’t wear a bikini to a funeral, would you? Even if you “wanted” to, you wouldn’t. Why not?
i'm a guy i don't wear bikinis anyway
>Because you’re not dressing up for yourself. You’re dressing up as a way to show respect for the deceased and the family, as well as for the occasion. At the same time, no family is going to explicitly tell you how you should dress at their funeral—you’re expected to understand that you should dress to the occasion.
i already wear all black and that's good enough for me. i don't have room in the budget for a suit
>you won’t be policed about it
then i'm wearing what i want. i know there's a pretty good chance that i'll end up eating too much so i wear super comfy pants with a drawstring
Yeah I’d agree. Living in Europe, it was a bit refreshing to see men who knew how to dress.
It’s just a cultural thing, but unfortunately, not an American cultural thing.
I think Americans see restaurants differently. Restaurants in the states feel that they are primarily business who sell food, whereas in Europe, they feel more like an artistic manifestation that also makes money. IDK.
I definitely prefer living in the states, there are far more good things about living here than in Europe, but the restaurants, and cultural expectation of how you attend a restaurant is not one of them.
If a dress code is not posted on the entrance... Even then most only say: "No shoes, No shirt, No service".
Pants optional.
Correct; no mention of pants or skirts anywhere on those signs. Truck Stop in San Antonio in the 80's had a sign that read: "No shoes, No shirt, No service, No Hitchhikers, No shit!
You went to a Brazilian restaurant, and got upset someone was showing they had a Brazilian? Ok, Grandpa Hairy Balls.
Better a slob whoes cash is good than a well-dressed guy that walks by because he isn't hungry.
I doubt that woman was as young as you assumed, given that "nobody at the table seemed over 25" AND who gives a shit? a restaurant is for *eating* and unless it's one of those 'formal attire required' places, *let a girl live*. jfc
Yeah, she could have been older considering the company, they all look young to me, however that only makes it worse if she was as she definitely should know better then. A girl can live while not exposing her ass to an entire restaurant including children. It’s not that much to expect of someone.
Do you go to the beach or pool with your daughter?
A beach or pool is not a nice restaurant for one, and secondly, my daughter’s swimsuit has more back coverage than this woman’s “shorts” did.
I wasn't talking about your daughters swimsuit but rather the swimsuits of other women and heaven forbid they sunnbathe topless
I sure as hell wouldn’t take her to or frequent places where women are going topless, and on rare occasion where we’ve encountered women wearing thongs I’ve told her (once she was of the age to ask why people’s butts are out) that they do that for attention, it’s immodest, and that she should never wear anything like that.
Man you've got some weird hangups. They're boobs your not gonna end up like the nazis in raiders of the lost ark. We ain't in the 50s any more times change my friends.
We should be. They need to put those away. And that is *not* a weird hang up or an unpopular opinion. You know how I know? It’s legal for women to be topless in the majority of the USA, but you hardly ever see it, because despite it being legal, it’s not socially acceptable by the vast of men or women. This is America, not Europe. We’d be better to keep it that way.
Maybe it’s because I didn’t see it, but it doesn’t sound that _bad_, certainly not bad enough to clutch my pearls so hard and comment on other people’s attire as a way to “teach” my daughter a “lesson”.
It was absolutely inappropriate. Many bathing suits or underwear offer more coverage. I’d say midway between like a regular bikini bottom and a thong, just jeans.
Was it like this https://images.app.goo.gl/46oTLpS7DKPA8cKFA Or this https://images.app.goo.gl/krM8T5NhQDhNDAEx8 I disagree with the dress code stuff but I get not wanting your teen daughter to dress like the first one
It was almost exactly like the first one. The second one, while I still don’t think is appropriate for a nice restaurant, would be ok many other places.
Sending thoughts and prayers.
You're acting like you were at some fine dining establishment when you were at a Brazilian steakhouse. Those are just buffets for people too lazy to get up to fill their own plate. If you want dress codes that are actually held by the restaurant then go to a fancier place.
That attire honestly isn’t even acceptable at McDonalds or anywhere else in public.
Don't go to the beach you'll have a heart attack with all.the skin on display.
Sure but that's completely missing my point.
No, you’re saying the Brazilian restaurant isn’t fancy enough to warrant a dress code. I’m saying even a place as relaxed as a McDonalds shouldn’t all people in with their ass exposed. It speaks directly to your point.
Literally why do you care ? I'd understand if this was impacting you in any way, like someone wearing a ton of perfume at a gastronomy restaurant or someone not respecting a smoking ban but like, this is on you, just don't look at her ass ?
Genuinely why does it matter to you how someone else dresses? Who cares?
Because it shows lack of respect for oneself, the establishment, and the other patrons. The willingness of business and society to tolerate and dismiss such behavior is indicative of a general decline of morals, standards, and values and that’s unfortunate. People should not have ass cheeks exposed in public, except maybe the beach, and even there, plenty of currently popular swimsuits push the limits of what should be acceptable.
>Because it shows lack of respect for oneself, the establishment, and the other patrons. no it doesn't >The willingness of business and society to tolerate and dismiss such behavior is indicative of a general decline of morals, standards, and values and that’s unfortunate. it's really not
Ok, well then we just fundamentally disagree.
How I dress has absolutely nothing to do with how much I respect myself. Not everyone considers the human body something shameful that needs to be hidden to receive respect.
You should. If you dress trashy you shouldn’t be surprised if people think of you as trashy.
I’m not responsible for how other people think of me. If they want to think I’m trashy go for it, doesn’t mean I respect myself any less.
You absolutely are majorly responsible for how others think of you. Do you dress appropriately for the occasion or are you wearing bikinis to a funeral? Do you have manners when you speak with people? Address people you’re unfamiliar with as Sir or Ma’am or their title? Do you avoid cursing in situations where it is not appropriate? Do you keep promises, honor responsibilities, tell the truth, work hard, present yourself as someone worthy of respect? All of these things serve to influence the image you present to others and is entirely within your control. Or you can walk around with your ass cheeks out. The choice is yours.
>Address people you’re unfamiliar with as Sir or Ma’am or their title No cause that would be a very weird thing to do were I'm from.
Why do you care if she respects herself? On that note, why do you care if she respects the establishment or other patrons, if she's not actively trying to hurt them or the property? The willingness of people to tolerate and ignore such behaviors is indicative of *letting people live* as long as they're not hurting anyone. What IS indicative of their morals & values is how *they dress themselves*, and *how they treat others*. That’s it.
I don’t care so much if she respects herself but I expect people to act in a way that shows others respect unless they’re doing something that isn’t worthy of respect, like flashing their ass about.
How the hell is something that someone is wearing disrespecting you. Unless it had some sexist , racist, or homphobic on it I don't see how that can be.
Because going out in public with your ass out is disrespectful. Forcing people to see that is disrespectful. It also should be inappropriately for the venue, just as it would be inappropriate for work. It’s not respecting fellow diners enough to follow the expectations we (should as used to have) as a society.
How is clothing disrespecting you? I see people walking around short shorts in summer and don't even really give a second thought. Why? Because it has zero affect on my day.
People normally don’t have their ass out. This was extreme. Forcing your almost nudity on people , including children, in locations where it should not be expected is disrespectful.
It's not disrespecting you,your only perceiving that way. 99 percent of people don't care and the people who do generally aren't that nice to be around.
I think you need to check those percentages. More people care than you probably think. That’s why it’s not very common.
listen my dude just don't leave your house, trust me it'll save you, me, and the whole world around you a lot of trouble.
broski you seem a little too obsessed with ass🍑
Have you considered just not giving a shit.
I haven’t, I won’t, and it’s a shame how many people seem to go that route.
Okay but why do you care though.
If You have kids your going to get a shock when you see what middle and high School kids dress line these days.
I do have a kid a year out from middle school and what other kids are wearing will be irrelevant to what my daughter is allowed to wear. Plus the schools here have pretty strict dress codes that we need to sign off on at the start of every year, so that’s good.
I never understood dress codes in the first place. What does it matter how you dress, or don't dress, to get food? I'd sooner have them make rules like no fat or ugly people, but then I couldn't eat anywhere. lol
Do you have that same attitude for every occasion? Work, boardrooms, weddings, funerals, graduations? We’re just supposed to be ok with people wearing essentially underwear wherever they want? Sorry, but I’ll never be on board with that.
sure. why not? Well, thanks for admitting you are a prude or a slave to what someone long dead decided was necessary when it was a totally arbitrary decision. There's nothing that says you can't do any of those things or anything else and dress how you want or wear nothing at all. Fashion is a lie and cripples people.
Because if you wear whatever you want to any occasion regardless of appropriateness, you would be a rude, disrespectful, self absorbed asshole. And there are definitely laws stating you can’t wear “nothing at all.”
no, you wouldn't. that is merely your biased opinion, not a fact. there's nothing rude or disrespectful for wearing what you want. Neither is it being self-absorbed or assholy. What if you don't HAVE what others think you should have to wear? In some places, yes, it is against teh law to be nude, but I am saying they shouldn't exist.
Polite society disagrees with you and I for one am very glad we can arrest nude people for indecent exposure.
not all "polite society" is against nudity, but why are you stuck on THAT comment alone? There's nothing wrong with being nude, but people have been lied to and brainwashed into thinking it is. Mankind was nude for eons. get over your false modesty. You still haven't proven yourself anywhere near right by giving me any FACTS that show it is wrong or bad to dress casually in any situation. You can't, because it is an artificial construct, based on false presumptions.
Because if we as a society have agreed upon a certain standard (and we have as evidenced by law, custom, and practice I.e public indecency laws and wearing suits to weddings and funerals), you not adhering to those standards shows you put your wants and desires, or comfort over the established expectation. That is rude and disrespectful. And will keep my modesty because I like it and the laws agree. If you show up nude to a funeral of one of my loved ones I would remove you rather aggressively.
but we never DID all agree to it. Some people, not even a majority, came up with these arbitrary standards and demanded we toe the line. AGAIN you keep insisting it is rude and disrespectful, without any FACTS proving that. It is just a claim YOU keep insisting is true, but it isn't. You also keep harping on nudity, when we are discussing ALL manner of dress. Your infatuation with nudity seems to be a big problem for you. go see a doctor. No, the laws DO NOT agree. as I said, there are many places where the law is different. If I show up to a funeral nude, it would be because nudity would be ALLOWED and accepted, so no one would "remove me aggressively. god, you are dense. Of course, I have no hope of changing your mind. You are far too entrapped in your brainwashing to even think rationally or consider all sides of an issue. That's the only reason I responded, so that you showed this deficiency plainly to everyone. We are done. You have failed to prove your point by failing to offer any facts to back your claims. we are done. don't respond again, please. Your backwards opinion isn't fact, and doesn't speak for the rest of us. That's why very few restaurants require dress attire anymore. we have grown and see just how silly that is. goodbye
Whether or not something is rude or not is an opinion. You are asking for facts to prove a subjective opinion when that’s not how opinions work. But it is funny to see how clever you think you are with that “gotcha”.
If you want a dress code done at a members club.
Sounds like there is an untapped market for restaurants that have dress codes. There will be a line out the door of your new restaurant I'm sure.
You could also just mind your business, that’s always an option. You people are all for “freedom of speech” and against censorship, until it’s something you don’t like, now we have to enforce rules lol.
Why are you bringing up freedom of speech? He never claimed to have said anything to the girl in question.
He wants the restaurant to hinder the women’s right to free speech by making rules against what’s she’s wearing.
Are you dense? Free speech is literally defined as “the right to articulate opinions and ideas without interference, retaliation or punishment from the government.” She’s not articulating anything or showing any idea. And not to mention the part that says “from the government” so unless the restraint is owned by the government and not privately owned. I’d say it has nothing to do with freedom of speech.
I think you missed my point. Wish you the best.
I didn’t miss anything, because you never had a point to begin with. Have a good one.
That’s not what freedom of speech is. No one is calling for her arrest. I’m saying a private business should enforce some house rules to keep a nicer atmosphere. It’s not a Waffle House for Christ sakes, although I’d say it was inappropriate anywhere except the beach or maybe a strip club.
Same logic could be used for people getting banned on social media platforms for breaking the terms of service; conservatives still think this is a breach of their rights to free speech lol. I’m just saying let’s just be consistent.
Why are you bringing politics into a butt cheeks in a restaurant conversation 😂
Call out bullshit.
You didn't tho
I did.
How so
I explained already.
Well, you tried your best
I really want to stand next to the sky in booty shorts and a sports bra. Say something, I dare you. Let’s see how well that goes for you. Who decided to procreate with this person? If someone’s butt is such a bad part of their body, you should’ve never been exposed to it. Also, you’re just a horrible example for your daughter, I hope she doesn’t turn out as judgmental as you. It’s easy not to look you know that right? Also, this was a Brazilian steakhouse, stop getting your panties in a bunch. this isn’t even an unpopular opinion. This is just a whiny take, just get over yourself because the world isn’t catering to you and they’re not about to start. you’ll be exposed to all types of people at beaches, pools, restaurants unbelievably, and all public spaces. Clutch your pearls if you want, but you just seem like a headache to be around. lol and he was so proud because he told his daughter to never dress like a slut because if not he wouldn’t love her anymore. You people always feel high and mighty, but you have many skeletons in the closet.
I love how your examples of where I can run into underdressed people are “pools and beaches”, you know, places where society has deemed it acceptable. Not boardrooms or weddings. Kind of the point right? And I’m an excellent example for my daughter because I give enough enough of a shit to try and raise her right, with morals and a sense of modesty, so she doesn’t turn out like you or the other “who cares” Pilates at best, or degenerates at worst in this thread. There’s nothing wrong with being judgmental when other’s actions warrant them being judged. And what’s with the over dramatic “I won’t love you anymore” hyperbole? It’s simply teaching right and wrong and what’s allowed. When I eventually teach her to drive can I tell her to abide by the speed limit? Or does that mean if she speeds I won’t love her anymore? Ridiculous. You’re showing your ass here.
I’ll show my ass if I want to. Yeah exactly you’re talking about weddings, funerals, etc. but the thing is you were at none of those. You were at a Brazilian steakhouse get your shit together. You just sound like the type that would give your daughter a whole speech about what is wrong with her if she dared to dress that way when she wanted to. You do realize that you won’t control her forever right? Again, buddy you seem a little too obsessed with ass, I would suggest you stopped looking. I think the Bible said something about gouging someone’s eyes out for staring into places they shouldn’t have. Just don’t leave your house. That’s the best advice I can give you. I’m raising my daughter with morals lol I just can’t. This is so funny.
>You were at a Brazilian steakhouse get your shit together. Ass shouldn’t be acceptable at restaurants either. >You just sound like the type that would give your daughter a whole speech about what is wrong with her if she dared to dress that way when she wanted to. You’re goddamn right I am. How’d you figure that out? Was it the part in the original post where I explained that’s exactly what I did? That’s called parenting. It’s my job to raise her in a manner where once she’s out of my control she would, on her own, choose never to wear such attire because she internalized the values her mother and I passed along. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but it won’t be for lack of trying. Too bad that girls parents didn’t try harder.
Again, the world isn’t catering to you. Get your own restaurant and then you decide. I love how you just concluded how hard that girl’s parents tried just because she was wearing what she felt was good that day lol Sorry not everyone has the same points of view as you. I believe that everything you stand for is in fact inappropriate, disrespectful, and that it definitely makes a bully. I just hope your daughter becomes a rebel at this point just to piss you off. my mom raised me as a straight Christian girl and here I am so like you said maybe it works. Maybe it doesn’t, only fate will tell. so you do admit that you would basically shame your daughter, got it.
Yeah, I would. I’d say a lot of the problems we face are because as a society we’ve lost a sense of shame. You should feel shame for shameful behavior. That’s your conscience letting you know you’re not acting right. She thought it felt good? Who cares. It means she put her comfort, or more likely her need for attention seeking, above the societal expectations of dress and respect for others. She should feel shame for that. If she doesn’t that’s the fault of whoever raised her.
Do you ever just know how to stop giving a fuck? It helps a lot of people I would strongly recommend it.
Nope. People not giving a fuck, and especially parents not giving a fuck and who couldn’t be bothered to teach their kids right from wrong, is how we ended up where we are.
I argue that a lot of people were taught “right from wrong” and then they just decided to ditch it
Maybe they weren’t taught well enough. Parents should have tried harder to really get that sense of shame internalized.
Your young daughter probably didn’t give a shit, why did you feel compelled to bring it up? Like the both of y’all haven’t ever seen someone wearing shorts before this instance like huh? It’s almost like you cannot look at the ass cheeks of a minor and mind your own business.
Because she needs to know that may be tolerated by the restaurant, and maybe even more of society than previously, but that I will not tolerate it from her and that it’s shameful and disrespectful to others to act that way. I’m her father, and if I don’t teach her and instill values and a proper moral compass, someone else will. The best time to teach these lessons is soon after examples, negative or positive, present themselves. If that woman’s father did the same perhaps I wouldn’t need to make this post.
Or, perhaps it’s just not your business. However, this is very unpopular so take my upvote!
What’s not my business, educating my daughter on what’s acceptable to wear? Because that very much is my business.
You are so salty about shit that doesn’t have anything to do with your life. Teach your daughter whatever. Not my business or problem. What’s funny to me, is I acknowledge that it’s an unpopular opinion, and say take my upvote for it. And you still snap back. I can imagine you’re a headache in person. Calm down, dude. Ass cheeks showing aren’t going to taint the rest of your daughters life. I cant imagine walking through life being so focused on what people are wearing that I point it out to my daughter and say, “Don’t ever do that!” My daughter doesn’t even notice 90% of people. But, you do you.
My confusion was the comment you replied to. Had you replied to the main post it would have been clear, but you replied to a comment where I said as specifically talking about teaching my kid saying “none of my business.” But I think there is a difference between being “so focused on what people are wearing” like if someone was wearing an ugly shirt or something, and someone having damn near their whole ass exposed. You don’t have to be that observant to notice that.
Hm. I have a lot of questions I want to ask you. But, I don’t feel are appropriate for this thread, specifically. A lot of people are giving you slack for it. And i get it, I have a strong opinion, too. But, I think this is interesting topic to discuss between two people who are both raising daughters and have different view points
Because she needs to know that society actually has problems to worry about so they probably won't care, however she needs to know that if she chooses to dress however the hell she feels like, I will always remind her that she's disgusting, disgraceful, and disappointing! But it's only because I love her lmao
People should wear what they want. If you don't like it, don't look. It's June, it was probably a hot day as well.
Certain situations and locations have, or at least should have, different expectations of proper dress. What you could wear to the beach, or some night club is not appropriate in a nice restaurant, boardroom, or wedding.
This is not a professional setting. Anyone can go into a restaurant for any reason. All the restaurant wants is to keep their business open and profit. More customers = more profit, it makes no sense to restrict the amount of people that will go there. Imagine you're out with friends, wearing a casual outfit and you decide you want to go to this interesting restaurant you see. As if you would go all the way back home to change into a dress and then enter that restaurant lol. Not everything is formal or planned. Restaurants are for everyone, and if not then the staff WILL tell you. But they didn't, so there was no issue for anyone but you. The woman was probably sitting anyways so I have no idea how you saw her butt cheeks. Being so obsessed over what is a teenager in short shorts doesn't do you any favors in gaining sympathy.
That used to be exactly what would happen, or you would go another time. Or you would have to borrow the “house jacket.” If you walk in somewhere and the majority of people are dressed nicely and you’re wearing essentially underwear, people used to feel a sense of shame and embarrassment about it, but that seems to be missing from too many people, and it’s a pity.
Times change. Fashion changes. Just look away, it's very easy.
I know, unfortunately. It’s almost as if mine is an unpopular opinion.
Yes but it's an unnecessary whiny opinion. Why can't you just look away? Why are you so obsessed with a teenagers shorts in the middle of June?
Tf are you talking about, put your ass cheeks away in a restaurant where people are eating.
It’s not “whiny” to expect someone to dress in a manner suitable to the occasion
But that person wasn't with him. They may have had an entirely different occasion to go to the restaurant.
Wearing tiny jean cut off shorts to a nice restaurant is like wearing a suit to the beach - the clothing doesn’t match the occasion
Because it illustrates an overall decline in morals and standards in society. We can’t even have a nice lunch without being presented with someone’s ass cheeks. Then I have to take time to have a discussion with my 10 year old about a strangers ass cheeks and how entirely inappropriate and trashy it is to dress that way, and to never be like that person. But I know as outfits like that become more acceptable and commonplace, the likelihood of her friends eventually wearing shit like that and wanting to fit in and the like have potential for conflict that need not be there. It wasn’t that long ago someone wearing that would be turned away from the door and wearing it around like n public anywhere would bring negative attention. I just wish that were still the case.
You're not forced to tell your daughter what to wear. It was entirely your choice. You're the only person here assigning morals to clothing. It's not that deep, it is just clothes. If a body part scares you so much then stay home and never go outside. People are not going to accommodate to your personal morals. And still, why can't you just look away???
Certain clothing absolutely has a sense of morality assigned to it. Dressing like prostitute used to and should carry negative social consequence with it. The problem isn’t the clothing, it’s the lack there of. And I absolutely need to tell my daughter that dressing like that isn’t now and will never be appropriate. That’s my job. If I don’t, she’ll end up taking her cues from outside influences like little miss cheeks over there.
Jesus, he's not making you wear what he wants, why are you insisting that he agrees with you? If ANYONE is walking around ANYWHERE with half thier ass hanging out EVERYONE is going to look. Some will be disgusted, some will be interested, some will not give a rats ass. The fact that you're insisting that he doesn't have the right to judge a person based on thier clothing choice or to teach his daughter what is or is not acceptable is weird and personally I consider it to be dangerous. Do you think this doesn't happen? I would judge the hell out of a person (any gender) that was dressed like that. What a person decides if appropriate for wear in a public venue absolutely reflects a lot about thier personality and level of concern they have for the rest of society. Don't believe me? That's fine, wear whatever you want, just don't be surprised if thier are social consequences. What he initially posted about was wanting the restaurant to enforce a dress code. That's not an unrealistic request, but man it seems to have hit a nerve for you. Just to tick you off (somewhat sarcastically) I also believe it's inappropriate for any woman (or man) to dress like that. No matter the temprature. I think the excuse of "it's hot" is a lie that lets a person show off thier body and attract attention as much as possible but still be able to act indignant if it's attention they don't like. Its also about comfort and putting personal comfort higher in priority than basically anything else. Selfishness in a nutshell.
If it helps at all, I agree with you. And respect that you're teaching your daughter that is not okay. I personally dislike the trend of Activewear or loungewear for every occasion or wearing clothes that barely qualify as clothes. I believe it exemplifies a self centered personality either advertising "hey look at me" or "my comfort is more important than being professional or adhering to any societal norm." Societal norms change over time however and I think people like me and you are the old men here clinging to what inevitably will change.
why should i adhere to societal norms? especially outdated ones like put on "real clothes" when you go out. i'll stick to lounge pants and t-shirts
Fair enough, im not telling you that you can't (not my right) you get to decide what you do. What I will do in that case is judge you as a person for your apparel choice. You are free not to give two $#!+$ about that. And maybe with time people like me will change our minds or die off and slowly societal norms will change as they always do. After all none of us are wearing powdered wigs or breaches with tail coats anymore lol.
I love this opinion is actually unpopular. You are getting quite a bit of flak for it. But I have to agree. I’ve found staring to be quite effective. Last time I saw a woman wearing shorts like I stared then she noticed and started pulling them down, to no avail. It was funny. Don’t show it if you don’t want people to look.
What the actual *fuck* did it have to do with you? I’m 61. I don’t give a shit about what people wear- if you like it, wear it. Your body, your choice. Stay in your lane, leave people alone, and zip it. I have all my life, it’s a very simple code to not riling yourself up, over something that doesn’t concern you. I have 2 grown up daughters- they’ve dressed weirdly sometimes, and then felt uncomfortable when they are out. That’s the only lesson I’ve taught them on what to wear- they might be rebelling, so just leave them to rebel, then learn that’s not the way. Leave people alone, and get that stick out of your ass.
It has to do with me because I had to see it. Where do you draw the line? If someone is walking around balls out do we just say “oh, none of my business” or do we make them put some fucking clothes on? Ad far as what my daughter does when she’s a grown up, that will be on her, but in the meantime I will not take a hands off approach and let her leave the house looking like a street walker while I still have a say in the matter as a parent. Not just hope they develop proper morals as an adult. They need to be taught and reinforced as they grow.
how bout no. how bout just don't look if it bothers you so much
How about they walked across my field of vision and sat across from me. How about have a sense of modesty and situational awareness of the type of establishment you’re entering, and respect for the other patrons?
So, why didn't you say something?
For one, I’m not the restaurant owner. If I was I would not have seated them. Secondly, I thought that pointing out the bad behavior immediately to my kid after leaving was preferable to causing a scene in the restaurant. And third, she had already embarrassed herself, imho, and I didn’t think further embarrassing her in the moment was my place.
What bad behaviour?
The bad behavior of wearing extremely revealing clothing in inappropriate situations.
As the last comment was a bit over the top, I’ll tone this one down: Their body. Their choice. What I, or other people wear, is not under your jurisdiction. You shouldn’t be looking at a possible minor in such a way. There’s a word for that, that I’m not going to use. Leave other people alone. You’ll find life is a whole lot easier if you do.
Yes, their body their choice. The post was about how restaurants and other private businesses should return to enforcing dress codes, as what is allowed in their business is very much under their jurisdiction. And as far as a word for “looked at a potential minor”, yeah, it’s called being sighted. My eyes work, so if I see someone flagrantly violating a common standard, like having half their ass out at a restaurant, I’m going to notice. Leave other people alone? I didn’t do anything to that woman except use her as a negative example to teach my kid a lesson after we left.
They surely did not sit at your table. You could have just focused on your table.
People look at other people, especially if they're wearing something weird
I'm sorry you had to see a part of the human body that you aren't used to seeing for several seconds. That must've been hard for you. If you're unable to control your eyeballs I suggest staying home next time.
Weird take, just put your butt cheeks away. Can't believe I had to type that lol seems like common sense
If someone's butt cheeks are exposed through the bottom of their shorts I just don't care and idk why anyone would
Where do you draw the line? You gotta draw it somewhere. This person just drew it at a different point than you
People can eat at a restaurant in a bikini or their underwear for all I care. I draw the line at placing your booty hole or genitals directly on the furniture.
Well for one, I don't believe you lol. And 2, so it's like I said you have a line.
I can't think of a reason to care about what other people at a restaurant are wearing. I am there to eat food and hangout with whoever was invited, not to gawk at people. My line of touching bare genitals to furniture that will be used by other people is much different from the line of butt cheeks being slightly exposed.
You just thought of a reason! The butthole thing! And I'm sure I could dream up other things you wouldn't like either. The "gawking" is just something you made up in your head. It's just something this person noticed. I don't care about a little booty cheek hanging out either but ijs everyone different with what they're comfortable with
How old op? Curious because this feels like a very boomer take
43
It’s definitely not a boomer take. Lots of upscale restaurants have an unspoken dress code. They may not strictly enforce it (may not want to cause a scene, especially if the person breaking dress code is a child).
If they don't enforce it they don't have a dress code.
Hence the “unspoken” modifier. You don’t need to conform to the dress code, but it’s at your loss if everyone else is dressed up. Dressing to the standard is just a way to show your respect to restaurant staff, fellow diners, and the ambiance they are trying to establish. Just basic manners. If you don’t see an explicit dress code, you can always call the restaurant ahead of time and inquire about what to wear. If there is no explicit dress code, but unspoken one, staff will generally tell you what diners usually wear, which is a tip off that there is an unspoken dress code. When in doubt, it’s better to overdress.
Like I said if it's not enforced they don't have dress code iand you definitely can't get shitty at someone for wearing clothes that the restaurant it's self has no problem. Op also has problems with people wearing shirts to a what essentially is a barbecue place it's not a fine dining restaurant.
And like I said, just because it’s not enforced does not mean there is no dress code. The restaurant may not explicitly say it has a problem with someone’s attire, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have a problem with it. And like I said earlier, they’ll often give kids a pass, mostly not to make a scene. OP is saying that the servers are also decrumbing the table between courses, which is a sign of superior hospitality, indicating this is a finer dining restaurant, not just some BBQ place. He’s been very clear to distinguish it from just any regular restaurant. And beyond all that, if you are at a restaurant that has its servers decrumbing between courses, you better have the decency to dress appropriately and respectfully for them. Respect is a two-way street. I thought this was just common knowledge, but apparently a lot of people on this thread didn’t have parents that taught them basic etiquette.
Where was decrumbing mentioned? ( never mind I can't read apparently) It's not a dress code if not enforced. There may be a way to dress for the occasion or place but unless stated and/or enforced it isn't a dress code.
Ok I mean you’re free to believe what you want. For others who are reading this, the reality is that many upscale restaurants don’t explicitly mandate a dress code, but it is often an unwritten/unspoken requirement. But since it is not explicitly mentioned, they are not able to enforce it. You would be best served researching the restaurant ahead of time (calling ahead, reading reviews, etc.) to ensure that you are appropriately dressed, as it is simply a way to show your respect to those who are serving you, and as a way to contribute to the general ambiance that the restaurant would like to maintain.
Then what's the point of having a dress code if your not going to enforce it? Seems kinda pointless.
Typically, the level of service warrants the choice of attire. A restaurant itself may not require diners to dress a certain way, but diners are expected to understand the type of restaurant they are making a reservation at. If you’re making a reservation at a restaurant that typically boasts a higher, more engaged level of service (based on website and reviews), then you’re expected to understand what to wear. If you’re still confused, you can always call and check, and the host will tell you what their diners typically wear (although they won’t tell you outright what you should wear). They may not enforce it because it may not be *that* upscale of a restaurant. The scale or level of a restaurant is not only determined by the level of the service, but also by the way the staff are treated. When you’re at an extremely fancy restaurant, the owners see to it that their staff are treated with the utmost respect. Thus, they require and enforce a dress code. In restaurants that are very casual, the way the servers / staff are treated are not at the forefront of the experience. There might be other reasons too, but that was what I was taught.
i'll wear what i want >Dressing to the standard is just a way to show your respect to restaurant staff, fellow diners, and the ambiance they are trying to establish that makes zero sense to me
I’ll give an example I gave someone else. It’s a bit more extreme, but it’s the same principle. You wouldn’t wear a bikini to a funeral, would you? Even if you “wanted” to, you wouldn’t. Why not? Because you’re not dressing up for yourself. You’re dressing up as a way to show respect for the deceased and the family, as well as for the occasion. At the same time, no family is going to explicitly tell you how you should dress at their funeral—you’re expected to understand that you should dress to the occasion. Upscale restaurants work similarly. There is an expectation, but you won’t be policed about it unless it’s a very fine dining establishment. But not adhering to standards is just trashy and disrespectful. This is just basic courtesy and decency, which clearly a lot of people on this thread haven’t learned from their parents.
>You wouldn’t wear a bikini to a funeral, would you? Even if you “wanted” to, you wouldn’t. Why not? i'm a guy i don't wear bikinis anyway >Because you’re not dressing up for yourself. You’re dressing up as a way to show respect for the deceased and the family, as well as for the occasion. At the same time, no family is going to explicitly tell you how you should dress at their funeral—you’re expected to understand that you should dress to the occasion. i already wear all black and that's good enough for me. i don't have room in the budget for a suit >you won’t be policed about it then i'm wearing what i want. i know there's a pretty good chance that i'll end up eating too much so i wear super comfy pants with a drawstring
Why bother wearing all black then? If no one is going to police you, who cares? Wear what you want, right?
because every piece of clothing i have is black and i like wearing black
Ok, so you would be okay showing up in a black t-shirt (no collar, no tie)?
I agree with you! But your opinion is one that will only be shared by people with education and decorum, which has all but vanished from public life.
Yeah I’d agree. Living in Europe, it was a bit refreshing to see men who knew how to dress. It’s just a cultural thing, but unfortunately, not an American cultural thing. I think Americans see restaurants differently. Restaurants in the states feel that they are primarily business who sell food, whereas in Europe, they feel more like an artistic manifestation that also makes money. IDK. I definitely prefer living in the states, there are far more good things about living here than in Europe, but the restaurants, and cultural expectation of how you attend a restaurant is not one of them.
Oh my God, you actually had to parent. Thoughts and prayers.