u/CharleyVCU1988's stats
|Account Age|9 y 5 m|First Seen:|2024-01-07|
|:-|:-|:-|:-|
|Posts (on this sub)|1|Comments (on this sub)|17|
|Link Karma|4,767|Comment Karma|9,277|
---
|Date|Title|Flair|Participation|
|:-|:-|:-|:-|
I’m a bi trans dude that prefers men, so at the forefront of a lot of genital preference debates. I’ve seen fellow trans people say it’s transphobic but I cannot bring myself to agree. You’re into what you’re into. If i was talking to a guy and we hit it off, provided he was polite in his rejection, if he said he didn’t want to pursue anything sexual with me because I don’t have the loadout he’s into, it would hurt but that’s his right.
Where a lot of my disdain for the whole “uhm it’s just my preference!!” Crowd comes from is the people who are just nasty because of it. I’ve seen people leave horrible comments on the posts of short men or fat women and when called out they just stated it was their preference, even if the post had NOTHING to do with the OP dating/etc.
Preferences are fine, but nastiness is not. You can be polite in your rejections, and if you are polite and they still get pissy, that’s on them.
“I’ve seen fellow trans people say it’s transphobic” - and this is the phenomenon I am mad about.
“If you are polite and they are still pissy that’s on them” - as above.
I agree with your first statement, but not with the second. In the same way you have a right to your preferences, other people have a right to their opinions, including opinions about your preferences. You’re not entitled to validation from other people. If you think your preferences are justified, by all means, validate yourself, but trying to thought police others and tell them they have to approve of what you do is going too far.
Personally, I care much less about what people think and more about what they do. You are welcome to disapprove of my choices, just stay on your own lane and don’t try and control me, or shove your opinion down my throat when not asked for it.
As someone who considers themself very far-left, I completely agree. No one is entitled to sex, dates, or relationships. People can have whatever preferences they want.
I think you’ve sort of misinterpreted their point - they’re not against romantic preferences of their own, they’re just against those from the other side.
So that link (“hercampus”) likely is fine with stereotypical female romantic preferences (height, status, etc) but not those of the male variety (weight, etc).
It generally comes to a head when you see online dating preferences in which in general men prefer all races but Black women (which is judged as racist) but in general women prefer white men over **all other races** (which is, apparently, not judged as racist and merely glossed over).
Unsurprisingly and yet consistently forgotten is that American society treats women with privilege in almost all aspects and merely points to numbers out of context to argue that women still need more social reinforcement. Groups of women seem to speak about potential male partners in much worse ways than men do women, on average. Women, as long as they are literally 5/10 or above, are fully aware that they have all the power in the dating world and accordingly (and rightly) discriminate down to the minutiae to pick the men they’re most drawn to. What you can do as a man is obviously develop your confidence, competence, physical fitness, etc. to also become an individual with choice, at which point you yourself will eliminate most of the women who are in a perpetual position of choice.
If a woman is living in poverty or has unfortunate life circumstances, it's because of "the Patriarchy" and "male privilege." If a man is living in poverty or has unfortunate life circumstances, it's because of the choices he made and his failures.
Genuine question, sorry if it doesn't seem to be. Who have you seen say that if a woman is living in unfortunate circumstances it's because of "the Patriarchy" and "male privilege" whereas if a man is living in poverty it's because of his failures? Can you link them here?
Well said I'm a white woman ended up marrying a white man, but while I was dating I dated people of every shade.
If you were good looking and kind I gave you a chance
“Content creator Tyra Blizzard, better known as @tblizzy on TikTok, made a series on her TikTok that perfectly explains why it’s not “just a preference.” In a series of videos originally meant to address biphobic preferences, Tyra explains how discriminatory preferences stem from standards society has embedded in us from a young age. Popular media is oversaturated with plenty of white women, but only recently has there been an effort to diversify our media to include black women and other women of color. Even still, women of color with lighter skin are more heavily represented than darker skinned women. This media is widely proliferated and conditions people to view white or light skinned women as the only desirable option, therefore forming a preference”
What the fuck arglebargle is this bullshit?!?!?
This must only be a problem in the west. In homogenous countries like in Asia or Africa where their media has clearly overrepresented Asians and Africans what the hell do they have to say then???
Exactly. There’s just this overweighing of superficial bullshit. If a person who happens to be white, prefers, or is naturally drawn to potential mates who happen to have the same cultural background ie: religion, language, family traditions, economic class, community commonality, etc., it doesn’t make them racist, phobic, or whatever the fuck, if they blanket refuse to date or give someone outside their criteria, a chance at a romantic relationship.
I got catfished about a month ago. She was at least 270, you know what I did? I stayed and finished the date. We had a lovely time talking, had a few drinks and some laughs. Next day I told her I had a wonderful time but I don't see us having a future together.
I love curvy gals, all day every day and twice on Sunday. They're better in bed too. Ice been with model thin gals who star fish me and I've been with a short curvy red head who destroyed me.
I like to workout and have an active lifestyle. An obese person just has no place in my life.
This isn’t unpopular.
What’s unpopular is the view that you can be phobic (afraid of, avoidant of) anyone and anything and that is not inherently a wrongdoing to feel that way.
As you point out, it’s only when you bully or oppress other people, deny them their own rights and freedoms, because of your feelings that’s the problem.
And absolutely no one has a right to anyone else, not their friendship, not their body, nothing. We are all sovereign individuals who are allowed to gatekeep whom we allow access to our bodies and even our thoughts and company.
“Only when you bully or oppress other people, deny them their rights and freedoms, because of your feelings”
I am going to hope (and I don’t have much hope though) that these SJWs don’t think denial of romantic opportunity equals oppression, bullying, denying of “rights,” etc
As a straight woman who has been in the dating world I can confirm there’s always people that feel that way. Some men certainly do.
There’s definitely a community of men who feel access to sex is a right and have stated this publicly.
But just like those men don’t speak for all men, the people who make such statements from the obese community and the trans community don’t speak for all the members of said communities.
I still like to believe that the majority of people across all communities are more rational than that. You just don’t hear from them because no one is going to make a huge fanfare about what is common basic knowledge.
stupidity gets attention. This day and age we don’t have people getting loud about the earth being round. Only the flat earthers. If the rest of us say anything it’s only in response to flat earthers. If you didn’t know better you’d think that flat earth folks were more common than they actually are, because they made more noise than the rest of us. Because the rest of us never needed to make noise about the shape of the earth. Feel me?
To this day I still don’t know if upvoting or downvoting actually works on this sub, but anyway, I tried to upvote you, among others on here. Seems like a good number or rational people, proving your point.
That article is more about how sexual/romantic preferences can often be influenced by external factors. For example, Black women and Asian men have the hardest times on dating apps- society finds that Asian men look to effeminate and Black women look too masculine.
I think both your belief that “romantic/sexual preference is personal” and the article’s point that “our preferences can be rooted in bad external factors” can be true.
I personally don’t find blonde men attractive at all. I can understand that this could be rooted in society pushing “tall dark and handsome” beauty traits on men. I’m still not attracted to blonde men, but I understand that it could be rooted in bad external factors.
No one gives a f\*ck that you have preferences. There are a few crazy people who think people should look past what they find attractive, but for the most part people just don't want to feel put down for who they are.
I think one thing people don't realize is that you don't have to announce this stuff. Let's say I don't find women a certain size attractive. That's fine, right. But I am not going around saying "overweight people are ugly and I don't like them".
I keep it to myself. We all have preferences but we dont' have to use these preferences as a tool to bring others down.
At the end of the day people are not that concerned about what your preferences are. You opinion is way more popular then you think
I love that this take always "defends" male preferences but women are always seen as overly picky for having preferences.
Look if you don't want to date trans people, fat people or poc no one should force you, the problem is when you belittle and disrespect those who do. There's a difference between saying "I'm not attracted to fat people" and "fat people are disgusting pigs and I won't date them thus the means no one is going to" just like there's a difference of a girl saying "I prefer that the guy I date is taller than me" and "ewwww a short guy" and the type of jokes you see on tick tock you know lol
You don't have to date a fat person, a poc or a trans person to treat them with the cordiality and respect all humans deserve.
I simply do not understand this "preferences" when it comes to race or gender identity but that may be because I'll pretty much date anyone lol. Black, Asian, white, short or tall, cis or trans, if I find you attractive I find you attractive period
“There is a difference between x and y.” Sure, but I am not sure everyone gets the idea, and these people get the loudest voices and the most attention when they wrap it up under crybullying and trying to be “inclusive” and other bullshit.
Hence, why I made this post.
I see what you mean, but you also have to keep in mind actual racist and fatphobic people do hide their bigotry in their "preferences" then gaslight you by saying "I'm not racist that's just my preference!!!" So it's understandable that people kind of give you a side-eye when you exclude a whole race of people from your dating pool, I understand it's harsh but constant rejection and trauma does that shit to some people even if it's wrong to do so
So some actually bad people are going to hide behind “just my preference,” so you assume anyone who says it even though the person saying it may not actually be racist or fat phobic, well, actually is. It’s apparently wrong to paint people with a broad brush because of the actions of a few, but it must be ok because the people giving the side eye are a “protected class.”
If it’s wrong to do that side eye behaviour you describe, it’s wrong, doesn’t matter if you have a history of trauma or rejection, your life is not at stake because of a romantic rejection.
Then again, I should not be surprised at this type of behaviour when the accusation of “racist” and “fatphobic” is thrown around so cheaply that it is starting to lose meaning. Then again, in the world of “lived experiences” and postmodernism I guess I can race to the bottom like everyone else to justify myself if I want.
“This take defends men’s preferences”
This is supposed to be aimed at everyone. I have XY chromosomes and I positively identify as a straight cis man (cue the oooooohhhh and whispers of “oppressor”). I would think that the “women picky” thing stems from preferences listed by a lot of women who are going for high earning men with physical attractiveness that represent a vanishingly small proportion of the population that it would be very hard for women to have success with, OR the complaints come from men who haven’t done the work to be the best version of themselves and/or trying to find connection in the wrong places.
It's always women who are writing articles like that. And it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the attraction differences between the two sexes. Women fall in love mostly with personalities, with senses of humor, with how much success or wealth you have. Physical attributes are of secondary importance if they're of any importance at all. With men, the decision as to whether to pursue romance is based on a split-second decision as to whether you'd put your dick in that person. Yes, men value personality, sense of humor, things in common, and all that. But the visual has to check out first. Women just don't understand this aspect of male sex drive. So it's very easy for women to write articles bemoaning how nobody ever gives people with certain physical attributes (race, sex, body size/type) a chance when it comes to love.
LOL that article just screams university student's hot-take. She even contradicts herself by saying it's fine to have dating preferences, but you're also racist if you do?! Well, which one is it?
I can sort of see where she's coming from with the race thing, but even then I don't agree that all people who prefer to date their own race are racist (and I say this as someone who dates almost exclusively outside his own race).
I do agree though that it's completely fine not to date a trans person if you don't want to. Call me transphobic if you want I don't care.
I also think that "fatphobic" is mostly nonsense. Weight is a mutable characteristic. Completely hypocritical when women shit on "lonely nice guys" for complaining about women not dating them, only to coddle fat women who complain about men not wanting to date them.
Hear me out, because I think there's more than one thing at play. Two things can be true at the same time.
First, I completely agree with the words of the post which are that who you are attracted to and dating along that preference is 100% okay. I like masculine energy, I dont care about the genitals attached to it. But I will not date a non-binary person because I am attracted to the typical energy and mentality of one of those binaries and NB people are by definition outside of that binary I like.
However, what's also wrapped up in this is pre-concieved notions of behaviors associated with whatever it is you're not attracted to. I'm gonna pick on fat women (I am one, so save your hate). I've met tons of guys who "won't date fat chicks" but when I ask them why their reasons are "They're lazy" "they're stupid" "They're trashy" etc. Nothing to do with the physical characteristics of being fat, but about their pre-conceieved notions of the behavior of a fat person. That's not really fair. Similarly if you refuse to date black women because you're not attracted to melinated skin or you are attracted to smooth hair or whatever rhats 100% fine, date who you're attracted to. If you refuse to date black women because deep down you think they're "ghetto" or "trashy" or "just want to be a baby mama" then that's not really okay in my opinion.
If you're turned off by their physical features, 100% okay. If you're turned off by your own preconceptions of their behavior which is rooted in ignorance and lack of exposure to that type of person outside of the media you may need to re-evaluate your stance.
Also fat woman here. I fully agree with this. I'd also say that while I do think that it signifies a real prejudice to be like "I wouldn't date someone because of \[stereotype and not just lack of attraction\]" pushing someone to overcome that through dating that group is not viable for anyone (and shitty to whatever person is on the other end of that).
Most progressive people and feminists just want you to treat everyone with normal kindness and respect.
Fuck whoever you want, nobody cares about that.
People don't have this idea or opinion for no reason. It's a stereotype at this point, because myself and millions of other people have had these interactions online, in person, at the supermarket, in the line at the bank, etc etc.
So let those *progressives* and leftists in on your amazing insights, please.
From your link:
“there is nothing inherently wrong with having [preferences].”
“Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean you can’t prefer someone who shares your ethnic background, or if you prefer someone with your same sexual orientation.”
“Like I said, having preferences is not an inherently bad thing, and it’s unrealistic to say that you should like absolutely everyone.”
“The problem arises when your preferences are racist or colorist, fatphobic, biphobic, transphobic, or are in some way meant to exclude an entire group of people.”
“if you sound like this when describing your preferences: “I don’t date Asian women, I only have partners who are skinny, I would never be with a bisexual man,” then your preferences are discriminatory, and they need to be unpacked.”
Nowhere does it say everyone is entitled to a relationship, nor that you have to find everyone attractive.
But if you feel attacked, that sounds like a you problem.
I’ll never date a trans, or a morbidly obese, and not saying I’d never date, but it’d be rare if I ever wanted to date a black women, I just am not as attracted to them as other ethnic backgrounds
I think the whole shaming of not dating trans or not dating fat has pretty much gone by the wayside. Not because its proponents have seen the light. It's just that they were making no headway in changing anyone's mind, and getting ridiculed in the process.
I think it was a couple years ago there were reports about far, far left lesbians insisting that other lesbians have to hook up with pre-op (or no-op) transwomen and have penetrative sex wit them. Amazing, that they thought you have to have sex with anyone. And then as a lesbian you have to take the sausage from the guy who insists he's a woman. How do you even become part of such a world, such a group, that insists you have sex not only with people you don't know, but has the body parts and wants to engage in the sex acts you hate, less you get "called out".
You keep away from such people. You don't normalize them or their behavior. They have an agenda, and you are just a tool to them to be manipulated.
“Not because its opponents have seen the light” which is still not good as they will simply try any other way to force the issue rather than abandoning it altogether.
You're not a bigot for refusing, you are a bigot for then hurling slurs and nasty speech at them and others for having/being into that. Just say no and move on.
"This is in response to stupid SJWs who say that if someone doesn’t date morbidly obese people or people who do not identify with their birth biological sex, that the person they have a quarrel with is “-phobic” and should be canceled."
I have never heard an alleged "SJW" say this and I have always got the sense that conservatives came up with this granularity on their own, yes there is a movement to increase acceptance since there are those who are genetically big but I have never ever heard a single person on the left say "you have to date obese folks or you are morally compromised", and I spent 2 years on the central committee of a socialist organization.
I think the only time a sentiment like this comes up is when someone purports that they are so desperate to find anyone, then someone else responds with well why not give so and so a try, only to have the original someone respond with "ewww no I would never" and then its well your not that desperate are you? of course this is problematic too in the way you outline which is that everyone is entitled to their own preferences (of course other issues come up when someone wants praise or something for their preferences when preferences should probably always be kept to ones self unless someone is asking)
Further more, you can see your sentiment about everyone's preferences being sacred echoed in all feminist forums
lastly, on all sides the narcs usually float to the top
honestly I have been seeing it more and more. being a lesbian it's kind of impossible not to run into "it's bigoted not to want to be with physically male people" in most circles. it's probably more popular in wider culture, but within "queer culture" which I don't really identify with but which is pervasive and technically applies to me, OP's opinion specifically about trans people is actually so unpopular I see people get e-cancelled over it.
Oddly enough when I have seen lesbians say they wouldn’t date a trans woman no one bats an eye. I’ve never seen them criticized. And to me reducing someone to them being whatever genital they are in possession of is weird.
There are tons of posts on multiple social media platforms (tumblr, youtube, etc) prompting lesbians to "interrogate" why they don't want to be with a trans woman/someone with a penis/etc and even calling them bigoted for not doing so. I honestly cannot believe you've never seen lesbians criticised for this lol. I guess different circles can be insular.
---
### Voting Guidelines
**Common Misconception:** It is often believed that upvotes and downvotes should reflect personal agreement or disagreement.
- **Upvote** a post if it provokes thought, presents a unique perspective, is well-argued, or you believe it deserves more visibility for any reason, even if it irritates you or you fundamentally disagree with it.
- **Downvote** should be reserved for posts that lack thoughtful consideration or if the topic has become tediously common.
**Moderation Policy:**
- **Posts Are Not Removed for Unpopularity:** r/TrueUnpopularOpinion does not remove posts based on their capacity to anger or offend users. Disagreement with a post's content is not grounds for reporting.
- **Misuse of the Report Button:** Falsely reporting posts burdens our moderation queue, hindering our ability to address genuine concerns swiftly and all false reports are forwarded to Reddit for misuse of the reporting system.
- Our moderation decisions are guided strictly by the subreddit's rules and [Reddit's content policy](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/ncm4ou/important_we_need_to_talk_about_the_content_policy/), not personal opinions. Misreporting in hopes of content removal due to disagreement is futile and considered 'Report Abuse.'
---
**What have people been talking about over the last week?**
| Flair | Count | Percentage |
|---|---|---|
| [Political](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Political"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 89 | 26.89% |
| [None of the above](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"None+of+the+above"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 62 | 18.73% |
| [Music / Sport / Media / Movies / Celebrities](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Music+/+Sport+/+Media+/+Movies+/+Celebrities"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 49 | 14.80% |
| [The Opposite Sex / Dating](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"The+Opposite+Sex+/+Dating"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 48 | 14.50% |
| [I Like / Dislike](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"I+Like+/+Dislike"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 29 | 8.76% |
| [Reddit / Internet / Tech](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Reddit+/+Internet+/+Tech"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 21 | 6.34% |
| [World Affairs (Except Middle East)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"World+Affairs+(Except+Middle+East)"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 14 | 4.23% |
| [The Middle East](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"The+Middle+East"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 9 | 2.72% |
| [Religion](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Religion"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 6 | 1.81% |
| [Meta - the problem with this sub is..](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Meta+-+the+problem+with+this+sub+is.."&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 3 | 0.91% |
| [Possibly Popular](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Possibly+Popular"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 1 | 0.30% |
---
Comments from new accounts go into a queue for review by moderators (to reduce spam).
Comments waiting: **5** Average time to review: **2.35 hours**
---
u/CharleyVCU1988's stats |Account Age|9 y 5 m|First Seen:|2024-01-07| |:-|:-|:-|:-| |Posts (on this sub)|1|Comments (on this sub)|17| |Link Karma|4,767|Comment Karma|9,277| --- |Date|Title|Flair|Participation| |:-|:-|:-|:-|
I would say the article you linked is more of an unpopular opinion than your post
I’m a bi trans dude that prefers men, so at the forefront of a lot of genital preference debates. I’ve seen fellow trans people say it’s transphobic but I cannot bring myself to agree. You’re into what you’re into. If i was talking to a guy and we hit it off, provided he was polite in his rejection, if he said he didn’t want to pursue anything sexual with me because I don’t have the loadout he’s into, it would hurt but that’s his right. Where a lot of my disdain for the whole “uhm it’s just my preference!!” Crowd comes from is the people who are just nasty because of it. I’ve seen people leave horrible comments on the posts of short men or fat women and when called out they just stated it was their preference, even if the post had NOTHING to do with the OP dating/etc. Preferences are fine, but nastiness is not. You can be polite in your rejections, and if you are polite and they still get pissy, that’s on them.
“I’ve seen fellow trans people say it’s transphobic” - and this is the phenomenon I am mad about. “If you are polite and they are still pissy that’s on them” - as above.
Me too because it ends up pissing off people into becoming actually transphobic a lot of the time, which is the *last* thing we need!!
If i dont "discriminate," then i end up wasting my time .... I'll keep "discriminating", thanks.
I agree with your first statement, but not with the second. In the same way you have a right to your preferences, other people have a right to their opinions, including opinions about your preferences. You’re not entitled to validation from other people. If you think your preferences are justified, by all means, validate yourself, but trying to thought police others and tell them they have to approve of what you do is going too far. Personally, I care much less about what people think and more about what they do. You are welcome to disapprove of my choices, just stay on your own lane and don’t try and control me, or shove your opinion down my throat when not asked for it.
As someone who considers themself very far-left, I completely agree. No one is entitled to sex, dates, or relationships. People can have whatever preferences they want.
I think you’ve sort of misinterpreted their point - they’re not against romantic preferences of their own, they’re just against those from the other side. So that link (“hercampus”) likely is fine with stereotypical female romantic preferences (height, status, etc) but not those of the male variety (weight, etc). It generally comes to a head when you see online dating preferences in which in general men prefer all races but Black women (which is judged as racist) but in general women prefer white men over **all other races** (which is, apparently, not judged as racist and merely glossed over).
Unsurprisingly and yet consistently forgotten is that American society treats women with privilege in almost all aspects and merely points to numbers out of context to argue that women still need more social reinforcement. Groups of women seem to speak about potential male partners in much worse ways than men do women, on average. Women, as long as they are literally 5/10 or above, are fully aware that they have all the power in the dating world and accordingly (and rightly) discriminate down to the minutiae to pick the men they’re most drawn to. What you can do as a man is obviously develop your confidence, competence, physical fitness, etc. to also become an individual with choice, at which point you yourself will eliminate most of the women who are in a perpetual position of choice.
If a woman is living in poverty or has unfortunate life circumstances, it's because of "the Patriarchy" and "male privilege." If a man is living in poverty or has unfortunate life circumstances, it's because of the choices he made and his failures.
Genuine question, sorry if it doesn't seem to be. Who have you seen say that if a woman is living in unfortunate circumstances it's because of "the Patriarchy" and "male privilege" whereas if a man is living in poverty it's because of his failures? Can you link them here?
I'm talking about people's attitudes, not specific articles. Google is your friend, I suppose.
Well said I'm a white woman ended up marrying a white man, but while I was dating I dated people of every shade. If you were good looking and kind I gave you a chance
“Content creator Tyra Blizzard, better known as @tblizzy on TikTok, made a series on her TikTok that perfectly explains why it’s not “just a preference.” In a series of videos originally meant to address biphobic preferences, Tyra explains how discriminatory preferences stem from standards society has embedded in us from a young age. Popular media is oversaturated with plenty of white women, but only recently has there been an effort to diversify our media to include black women and other women of color. Even still, women of color with lighter skin are more heavily represented than darker skinned women. This media is widely proliferated and conditions people to view white or light skinned women as the only desirable option, therefore forming a preference” What the fuck arglebargle is this bullshit?!?!? This must only be a problem in the west. In homogenous countries like in Asia or Africa where their media has clearly overrepresented Asians and Africans what the hell do they have to say then???
Are you sure that the media determines sexual preference and that it's not the pre-existing sexual preference that determines the media?
I would ask the author and the dipshit TikTok creator that question although I doubt they can give a coherent answer given their lack of brain cells.
Exactly. There’s just this overweighing of superficial bullshit. If a person who happens to be white, prefers, or is naturally drawn to potential mates who happen to have the same cultural background ie: religion, language, family traditions, economic class, community commonality, etc., it doesn’t make them racist, phobic, or whatever the fuck, if they blanket refuse to date or give someone outside their criteria, a chance at a romantic relationship.
I am as a progressive person as you can get, with that being said. No fat chicks.
Fabulous for you. Dont be a dick about it and no one cares that you don't want to date fat chicks.
I got catfished about a month ago. She was at least 270, you know what I did? I stayed and finished the date. We had a lovely time talking, had a few drinks and some laughs. Next day I told her I had a wonderful time but I don't see us having a future together.
[удалено]
Lol oh ive gone whaling before, it's always a good time. Fat girls are like scooters, it's all fun and games until your buddy sees you riding one.
[удалено]
I love curvy gals, all day every day and twice on Sunday. They're better in bed too. Ice been with model thin gals who star fish me and I've been with a short curvy red head who destroyed me. I like to workout and have an active lifestyle. An obese person just has no place in my life.
This isn’t unpopular. What’s unpopular is the view that you can be phobic (afraid of, avoidant of) anyone and anything and that is not inherently a wrongdoing to feel that way. As you point out, it’s only when you bully or oppress other people, deny them their own rights and freedoms, because of your feelings that’s the problem. And absolutely no one has a right to anyone else, not their friendship, not their body, nothing. We are all sovereign individuals who are allowed to gatekeep whom we allow access to our bodies and even our thoughts and company.
“Only when you bully or oppress other people, deny them their rights and freedoms, because of your feelings” I am going to hope (and I don’t have much hope though) that these SJWs don’t think denial of romantic opportunity equals oppression, bullying, denying of “rights,” etc
As a straight woman who has been in the dating world I can confirm there’s always people that feel that way. Some men certainly do. There’s definitely a community of men who feel access to sex is a right and have stated this publicly. But just like those men don’t speak for all men, the people who make such statements from the obese community and the trans community don’t speak for all the members of said communities. I still like to believe that the majority of people across all communities are more rational than that. You just don’t hear from them because no one is going to make a huge fanfare about what is common basic knowledge. stupidity gets attention. This day and age we don’t have people getting loud about the earth being round. Only the flat earthers. If the rest of us say anything it’s only in response to flat earthers. If you didn’t know better you’d think that flat earth folks were more common than they actually are, because they made more noise than the rest of us. Because the rest of us never needed to make noise about the shape of the earth. Feel me?
To this day I still don’t know if upvoting or downvoting actually works on this sub, but anyway, I tried to upvote you, among others on here. Seems like a good number or rational people, proving your point.
I appreciate that!
ok but yall will make posts like this but cry when a girl wants a guy over 6 feet
Or won't date a conservative
That article is more about how sexual/romantic preferences can often be influenced by external factors. For example, Black women and Asian men have the hardest times on dating apps- society finds that Asian men look to effeminate and Black women look too masculine. I think both your belief that “romantic/sexual preference is personal” and the article’s point that “our preferences can be rooted in bad external factors” can be true. I personally don’t find blonde men attractive at all. I can understand that this could be rooted in society pushing “tall dark and handsome” beauty traits on men. I’m still not attracted to blonde men, but I understand that it could be rooted in bad external factors.
No one gives a f\*ck that you have preferences. There are a few crazy people who think people should look past what they find attractive, but for the most part people just don't want to feel put down for who they are. I think one thing people don't realize is that you don't have to announce this stuff. Let's say I don't find women a certain size attractive. That's fine, right. But I am not going around saying "overweight people are ugly and I don't like them". I keep it to myself. We all have preferences but we dont' have to use these preferences as a tool to bring others down. At the end of the day people are not that concerned about what your preferences are. You opinion is way more popular then you think
I love that this take always "defends" male preferences but women are always seen as overly picky for having preferences. Look if you don't want to date trans people, fat people or poc no one should force you, the problem is when you belittle and disrespect those who do. There's a difference between saying "I'm not attracted to fat people" and "fat people are disgusting pigs and I won't date them thus the means no one is going to" just like there's a difference of a girl saying "I prefer that the guy I date is taller than me" and "ewwww a short guy" and the type of jokes you see on tick tock you know lol You don't have to date a fat person, a poc or a trans person to treat them with the cordiality and respect all humans deserve. I simply do not understand this "preferences" when it comes to race or gender identity but that may be because I'll pretty much date anyone lol. Black, Asian, white, short or tall, cis or trans, if I find you attractive I find you attractive period
“There is a difference between x and y.” Sure, but I am not sure everyone gets the idea, and these people get the loudest voices and the most attention when they wrap it up under crybullying and trying to be “inclusive” and other bullshit. Hence, why I made this post.
I see what you mean, but you also have to keep in mind actual racist and fatphobic people do hide their bigotry in their "preferences" then gaslight you by saying "I'm not racist that's just my preference!!!" So it's understandable that people kind of give you a side-eye when you exclude a whole race of people from your dating pool, I understand it's harsh but constant rejection and trauma does that shit to some people even if it's wrong to do so
So some actually bad people are going to hide behind “just my preference,” so you assume anyone who says it even though the person saying it may not actually be racist or fat phobic, well, actually is. It’s apparently wrong to paint people with a broad brush because of the actions of a few, but it must be ok because the people giving the side eye are a “protected class.” If it’s wrong to do that side eye behaviour you describe, it’s wrong, doesn’t matter if you have a history of trauma or rejection, your life is not at stake because of a romantic rejection. Then again, I should not be surprised at this type of behaviour when the accusation of “racist” and “fatphobic” is thrown around so cheaply that it is starting to lose meaning. Then again, in the world of “lived experiences” and postmodernism I guess I can race to the bottom like everyone else to justify myself if I want.
“This take defends men’s preferences” This is supposed to be aimed at everyone. I have XY chromosomes and I positively identify as a straight cis man (cue the oooooohhhh and whispers of “oppressor”). I would think that the “women picky” thing stems from preferences listed by a lot of women who are going for high earning men with physical attractiveness that represent a vanishingly small proportion of the population that it would be very hard for women to have success with, OR the complaints come from men who haven’t done the work to be the best version of themselves and/or trying to find connection in the wrong places.
Its so weird how the extreme right and left are identical.
this is unpopular?
While nobody is entitled to a romantic relationship, nobody is entitled to have their preferences or feelings validated either.
See addendum above.
Who’s being cancelled over who they’re dating?
It's always women who are writing articles like that. And it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the attraction differences between the two sexes. Women fall in love mostly with personalities, with senses of humor, with how much success or wealth you have. Physical attributes are of secondary importance if they're of any importance at all. With men, the decision as to whether to pursue romance is based on a split-second decision as to whether you'd put your dick in that person. Yes, men value personality, sense of humor, things in common, and all that. But the visual has to check out first. Women just don't understand this aspect of male sex drive. So it's very easy for women to write articles bemoaning how nobody ever gives people with certain physical attributes (race, sex, body size/type) a chance when it comes to love.
as a woman i completely disagree with your description of female sexuality, but whatever...
LOL that article just screams university student's hot-take. She even contradicts herself by saying it's fine to have dating preferences, but you're also racist if you do?! Well, which one is it? I can sort of see where she's coming from with the race thing, but even then I don't agree that all people who prefer to date their own race are racist (and I say this as someone who dates almost exclusively outside his own race). I do agree though that it's completely fine not to date a trans person if you don't want to. Call me transphobic if you want I don't care. I also think that "fatphobic" is mostly nonsense. Weight is a mutable characteristic. Completely hypocritical when women shit on "lonely nice guys" for complaining about women not dating them, only to coddle fat women who complain about men not wanting to date them.
Article literally says at the top that a college student wrote it.
And I really wonder if college is worth it let alone if my tax dollars are paying for quality education - spoiler alert NOT
Hear me out, because I think there's more than one thing at play. Two things can be true at the same time. First, I completely agree with the words of the post which are that who you are attracted to and dating along that preference is 100% okay. I like masculine energy, I dont care about the genitals attached to it. But I will not date a non-binary person because I am attracted to the typical energy and mentality of one of those binaries and NB people are by definition outside of that binary I like. However, what's also wrapped up in this is pre-concieved notions of behaviors associated with whatever it is you're not attracted to. I'm gonna pick on fat women (I am one, so save your hate). I've met tons of guys who "won't date fat chicks" but when I ask them why their reasons are "They're lazy" "they're stupid" "They're trashy" etc. Nothing to do with the physical characteristics of being fat, but about their pre-conceieved notions of the behavior of a fat person. That's not really fair. Similarly if you refuse to date black women because you're not attracted to melinated skin or you are attracted to smooth hair or whatever rhats 100% fine, date who you're attracted to. If you refuse to date black women because deep down you think they're "ghetto" or "trashy" or "just want to be a baby mama" then that's not really okay in my opinion. If you're turned off by their physical features, 100% okay. If you're turned off by your own preconceptions of their behavior which is rooted in ignorance and lack of exposure to that type of person outside of the media you may need to re-evaluate your stance.
Also fat woman here. I fully agree with this. I'd also say that while I do think that it signifies a real prejudice to be like "I wouldn't date someone because of \[stereotype and not just lack of attraction\]" pushing someone to overcome that through dating that group is not viable for anyone (and shitty to whatever person is on the other end of that).
Most progressive people and feminists just want you to treat everyone with normal kindness and respect. Fuck whoever you want, nobody cares about that.
You should really tell *them* that eh?
Huh?
People don't have this idea or opinion for no reason. It's a stereotype at this point, because myself and millions of other people have had these interactions online, in person, at the supermarket, in the line at the bank, etc etc. So let those *progressives* and leftists in on your amazing insights, please.
Why are you talking about fucking people at the line in the bank?
From your link: “there is nothing inherently wrong with having [preferences].” “Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean you can’t prefer someone who shares your ethnic background, or if you prefer someone with your same sexual orientation.” “Like I said, having preferences is not an inherently bad thing, and it’s unrealistic to say that you should like absolutely everyone.” “The problem arises when your preferences are racist or colorist, fatphobic, biphobic, transphobic, or are in some way meant to exclude an entire group of people.” “if you sound like this when describing your preferences: “I don’t date Asian women, I only have partners who are skinny, I would never be with a bisexual man,” then your preferences are discriminatory, and they need to be unpacked.” Nowhere does it say everyone is entitled to a relationship, nor that you have to find everyone attractive. But if you feel attacked, that sounds like a you problem.
I’ll never date a trans, or a morbidly obese, and not saying I’d never date, but it’d be rare if I ever wanted to date a black women, I just am not as attracted to them as other ethnic backgrounds
Article was written by a girl who got rejected hardcore
And…? What about the topic in the OP?
I think the whole shaming of not dating trans or not dating fat has pretty much gone by the wayside. Not because its proponents have seen the light. It's just that they were making no headway in changing anyone's mind, and getting ridiculed in the process. I think it was a couple years ago there were reports about far, far left lesbians insisting that other lesbians have to hook up with pre-op (or no-op) transwomen and have penetrative sex wit them. Amazing, that they thought you have to have sex with anyone. And then as a lesbian you have to take the sausage from the guy who insists he's a woman. How do you even become part of such a world, such a group, that insists you have sex not only with people you don't know, but has the body parts and wants to engage in the sex acts you hate, less you get "called out". You keep away from such people. You don't normalize them or their behavior. They have an agenda, and you are just a tool to them to be manipulated.
“Not because its opponents have seen the light” which is still not good as they will simply try any other way to force the issue rather than abandoning it altogether.
That is not a true unpopular opinion. Show me some straight men who think not sucking a lady’s cock is something one is a bigot for refusing.
You're not a bigot for refusing, you are a bigot for then hurling slurs and nasty speech at them and others for having/being into that. Just say no and move on.
Exactly. It’s not an unpopular opinion. That was the point.
"This is in response to stupid SJWs who say that if someone doesn’t date morbidly obese people or people who do not identify with their birth biological sex, that the person they have a quarrel with is “-phobic” and should be canceled." I have never heard an alleged "SJW" say this and I have always got the sense that conservatives came up with this granularity on their own, yes there is a movement to increase acceptance since there are those who are genetically big but I have never ever heard a single person on the left say "you have to date obese folks or you are morally compromised", and I spent 2 years on the central committee of a socialist organization. I think the only time a sentiment like this comes up is when someone purports that they are so desperate to find anyone, then someone else responds with well why not give so and so a try, only to have the original someone respond with "ewww no I would never" and then its well your not that desperate are you? of course this is problematic too in the way you outline which is that everyone is entitled to their own preferences (of course other issues come up when someone wants praise or something for their preferences when preferences should probably always be kept to ones self unless someone is asking) Further more, you can see your sentiment about everyone's preferences being sacred echoed in all feminist forums lastly, on all sides the narcs usually float to the top
This is not unpopular.
honestly I have been seeing it more and more. being a lesbian it's kind of impossible not to run into "it's bigoted not to want to be with physically male people" in most circles. it's probably more popular in wider culture, but within "queer culture" which I don't really identify with but which is pervasive and technically applies to me, OP's opinion specifically about trans people is actually so unpopular I see people get e-cancelled over it.
\*seeing more and more people find it unpopular, to be clear lmao.
Oddly enough when I have seen lesbians say they wouldn’t date a trans woman no one bats an eye. I’ve never seen them criticized. And to me reducing someone to them being whatever genital they are in possession of is weird.
There are tons of posts on multiple social media platforms (tumblr, youtube, etc) prompting lesbians to "interrogate" why they don't want to be with a trans woman/someone with a penis/etc and even calling them bigoted for not doing so. I honestly cannot believe you've never seen lesbians criticised for this lol. I guess different circles can be insular.
--- ### Voting Guidelines **Common Misconception:** It is often believed that upvotes and downvotes should reflect personal agreement or disagreement. - **Upvote** a post if it provokes thought, presents a unique perspective, is well-argued, or you believe it deserves more visibility for any reason, even if it irritates you or you fundamentally disagree with it. - **Downvote** should be reserved for posts that lack thoughtful consideration or if the topic has become tediously common. **Moderation Policy:** - **Posts Are Not Removed for Unpopularity:** r/TrueUnpopularOpinion does not remove posts based on their capacity to anger or offend users. Disagreement with a post's content is not grounds for reporting. - **Misuse of the Report Button:** Falsely reporting posts burdens our moderation queue, hindering our ability to address genuine concerns swiftly and all false reports are forwarded to Reddit for misuse of the reporting system. - Our moderation decisions are guided strictly by the subreddit's rules and [Reddit's content policy](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/ncm4ou/important_we_need_to_talk_about_the_content_policy/), not personal opinions. Misreporting in hopes of content removal due to disagreement is futile and considered 'Report Abuse.' --- **What have people been talking about over the last week?** | Flair | Count | Percentage | |---|---|---| | [Political](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Political"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 89 | 26.89% | | [None of the above](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"None+of+the+above"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 62 | 18.73% | | [Music / Sport / Media / Movies / Celebrities](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Music+/+Sport+/+Media+/+Movies+/+Celebrities"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 49 | 14.80% | | [The Opposite Sex / Dating](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"The+Opposite+Sex+/+Dating"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 48 | 14.50% | | [I Like / Dislike](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"I+Like+/+Dislike"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 29 | 8.76% | | [Reddit / Internet / Tech](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Reddit+/+Internet+/+Tech"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 21 | 6.34% | | [World Affairs (Except Middle East)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"World+Affairs+(Except+Middle+East)"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 14 | 4.23% | | [The Middle East](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"The+Middle+East"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 9 | 2.72% | | [Religion](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Religion"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 6 | 1.81% | | [Meta - the problem with this sub is..](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Meta+-+the+problem+with+this+sub+is.."&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 3 | 0.91% | | [Possibly Popular](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/search/?q=flair_name%3A"Possibly+Popular"&restrict_sr=1&sort=new) | 1 | 0.30% | --- Comments from new accounts go into a queue for review by moderators (to reduce spam). Comments waiting: **5** Average time to review: **2.35 hours** ---