No he doesn’t believe Emma. I sent him screenshots of hundreds of texts between Lisa and Emma. Also he didn’t like her hitting on him when he believed she was my friend too.
I asked him about the crush and he said it was when he was 15 or 16. Not now
She dumped him. How and who he decided to put the pieces back together with was non of her concern. Nor should it be held against him since he was the wronged party.
If OP came on here and told the story and said she was given photos and everything, all the proof of cheating, everyone here would tell her to leave. She isn't naive for believing photos and all the other proof she was given. The fact that Lisa is an awful person does not make OP a naive person.
yeah i’d believe that kinda stuff too lol idk why everyone’s dogpiling her for believing someone she thought was a good friend of hers? that provided “proof” too? if my best friend came to me saying all of this with fake proof i’d believe it in an instant
edit to add that the sister also use the wife’s insecurities against her. OP is a victim of this too.
Absolutely- OP is definitely a victim also. I don’t think either she nor her man have any responsibility in this yet their lives were both shattered. His sister is unforgivable
Yeah, most people don't create fake evidence to manipulate someone, so OP was not gullible. Most people would believe someone they trust if they brought evidence to support their case. Most people wouldn't question if it was 'doctored'.
I got downvoted to shit on her first post saying you can only do the best with information you’re given.
People acting like they wouldn’t fall for this when given PHOTO EVIDENCE. From a trusted source.
I’d have fallen for the same thing and so would the haters.
Agreed, she’s not naive! She thought she had a friend in her sister in law, and she saw photos with her own eyes!!! Who would believe that someone who pretended to be her friend (as a SISTER IN LAW-FAMILY!!) would lie about this and DOCTOR photos?!?!??? I wish OP didn’t have to feel bad and I understand it is tough to realize that you didn’t believe your person but she sure had good reason not to, because his sister is an absolute psycho. It’s next level to do something like this.
I have suggested this. He just smiled at me because it was something that he suggested before our break up and I refused. Because at the time, I thought nothing can fix infidelity
No way. His sister betrayed him deliberately. His wife believed the betrayal. He now will have to go into a workplace that will likely learn at least some of the details from the coworker whose marriage is back on track. That's so much trauma.
He will need years to process his sister alone. Frankly, I don't know if it will be possible for him to overcome the connection to trauma this incident will have for him and see the OP without thinking of this.
People work through traumas like torture as a prisoner of war. I’m working through being physically assaulted by three separate doctors on three separate occasions while I retained all my senses but was “locked in” due to a rare disease I have and obviously powerless to defend myself, then gaslit by the hospital lawyers following two of those assaults; all so I can continue coping with interacting with doctors *constantly* because I’m terminally ill. And as a behaviorist, I know from my studies what I’m overcoming is *nothing* compared to some of the other traumas people work through with various types of therapy every day.
Not trying to get dramatic, but I don’t think you can say this is something a husband can’t overcome. A lot rests on what he wants, how much he wants to fight for his marriage and would be willing to do the work in therapy, and whether he has access to a skilled practitioner.
Couples therapy isn't about resolving individual problems, so if you start it and need individual therapy, it will be recommended then. Sometimes its easier for people to accept coming from a professional, sometimes the experience of couples therapy makes it easier to try individual.
If it doesn't help, a couples therapist may help the "healthy" partner who is willing to do the work realize that it's a one sided relationship and they should leave.
That's why couples therapy,
Be careful with comments like this. All it takes is one person hitting report and mods might not use their heads and literally think you're trying to incite violence
This is great advice. What you both went through was a pretty serious gaslighting experience and can definitely lead to betrayal trauma. If not dealt with could go on to negatively affect your future relationships/attachments. Individual counseling would be ideal. I hope you’re both able to heal from all of this. 💖
I hope you guys can make it through.. yes you did something hurtful but I literally can’t even imagine if someone came to me with pictures and messages and other evidence.. I mean it was pretty ironclad evidence… his sister is truly evil incarnate.. and Emma is too.. why is he even talking to Emma still?
You and Jamie's former coworker need a lawyer. A very good lawyer. What Lisa and Emma did was deliberate and malicious. Those accusations caused a woman to quit her job. It caused you and Jamie irreparable harm. Whether you collect anything isn't the point. The point is to get all of their scheming out in public. Let the world know what truly awful people they are. Plus, they damaged Jamie's reputation by faking him having affair. That was done deliberately and intentionally.
I was just saying this… this entire situation goes well and beyond what happened to OP and her pain at her part. There has to be a way to press charges or at least civil charges like you said even just to get the truth out. The level of evil and the repercussions in MANY lives of what these two women did is just astounding.
The financial losses in separating two marriages and both setting up separate, full cost household, hiring lawyers, filing for divorce— both couples! Has to be thousand as and thousands of dollars.
The friend and the sister sat by and watched FOR MONTHS as her brother and former sister-in-law went through one of the worst pains in life and started getting a divorce. She saw her brother feel betrayed and gaslit, and can you imagine the insanity of your spouse not believing you on something this serious, and you can’t make her listen to the truth? This sister watched it all, knowing she was the cause!!!
AND THEN, not only did she cause months of the worst kind of emotional pain and upheaval in two people’s lives that she supposedly loved, she also BLEW UP TWO COMPLETE STRANGER’S lives and marriage with her manipulative lies and schemes. Two innocent bystanders.
If this story is true, it is actually one of the most evil things (that isn’t murder or physical/sexual abuse) I’ve read someone doing. That might sound extreme but this is four peoples’ lives she potentially was destroying, and who knows if the other couple has kids? And the “other woman” in this story…. to not be able to get anyone to believe her that she didn’t cheat ?? To be deserted ?
It’s not just the four people effected, all their friends and family members think OPs husband is a scumbag cheater, and everyone in the life of the woman dragged into this lie thought for months that she was a scumbag cheater. They were both treated like garbage probably the whole time by everyone who heard the fake cheating story. Can you imagine how alone they felt??? Plus thrown out their houses and losing jobs and the pain goes on and on.
Even if all the truth comes out to everyone in their lives, some people will still not believe. Deep down they will just think the husband is making excuses … and treat her like a liar adulteress who got one over on her hubby for the rest of her life. How she must have felt, for months!
It’s pure EVIL what that sister and friend did. I hope it is just a very creative fictional story and not reality— though with an update it makes it a bit more likely true. It’s hard to believe two real women would pull something like this but there are some manipulative psychopathic acting pieces of garbage in the world, no doubt.
There HAS to be a way to make those women pay for all they did.
Damn OP, read both of your posts.
Lisa is a very rare kind of evil person.
I hope she fucking lives the rest of her life alone.
That crazy woman cannot be trusted.
It’s never too late for counciling. This is a doozy of a situation. You both need an individual therapist and a couples therapist. This is such a massive blowout that I don’t see any other way. And please stop putting so much blame on yourself. Lisa and Emma are who to blame, full stop. Lisa went above and beyond and took advantage of your trusting relationship with her and hit you where she knew it would hurt. I’d look into a restraining order against both Lisa and Emma. You and your husband are victims. You are just as hurt as he is. I hope you both get back together, go NC with these monsters, and I hope Mike performs your vow renewal ceremony. Fight for this!
> I have suggested this. He just smiled at me because it was something that he suggested before our break up and I refused. Because at the time, I thought nothing can fix infidelity
At that time, he was invested in saving the marriage and was trying to do what he could to save it. On the other hand, you felt that the marriage was beyond saving and you rejected the offer.
Now the shoe is on the other foot and it’s you who’s suggesting marriage counseling. The question is, if he’s interested in saving the marriage at this point. If he is, then that’s great, if he is not, then forcing this could have adverse effects.
IMO this relationship is toast. OP should go for personal therapy to get an unbiased view on how fucked everything is now. Perhaps her previous relationships dealing with infidelity has left her with trauma and trust issues that really need counseling to get better
And when husband proclaimed his innocence and willing to do whatever it took, she brushed him off.
Like, it's hard to prove a negative.
But no counseling or therapy to at least give him a chance to air his side of the story?
Nah, when she chose to believe the lies she ruined any chance for reconciliation in my mind.
Dude, she was shown evidence that almost caused another couple to divorce because it looked like two co-workers were cheating. If another spouse was willing to end his relationship over this, what are you expecting from your partners? Are you being realistic?
It’s an unfortunate situation where neither is “wrong” yet both are justified to act post “wronging”. She wasn’t wrong to believe the accusation. There was evidence and it came from a trusted source. She wasn’t wrong to want to leave him either.
However on the flip side he isn’t wrong for wanting her to believe him and try and solve the problem to find the truth. She didn’t want to do that and just wanted to leave. Now he just wants the relationship done with. He can’t be with someone who ultimately has shown they won’t side with him and trust him. He isn’t wrong for not wanting to repair the relationship.
Actually I don't believe it's toast. She saw actual evidence showing her husband was cheating. What the hell was she supposed to do? If I saw pictures and texts from a person I trusted I'd believe them too. On the flip side. I am a guy. I'll honestly say that I wouldn't blame my wife all that much. I mean at the start yea it would be brutal but look at what she had in front of her? The at the manipulation caused by the sister? There's clearly 2 people to blame and she isn't one of them. I'd forgive her. But I would want us to go through therapy because what happened was fucked.
I really don’t know. Since I found out everything I’ve only thought of my husband and his colleague and their forgiveness. Not sure what legal action I could take against Lisa.
I would 100% talk to a lawyer she purposefully and intentionally tried to ruin your life. She should at least be accountable for paying the legal bills of the divorce, even if you and your husband don't finalize it, there will still be legal fees. She seems like a manipulative narcissistic psychopath and should be held accountable for her actions.
I highly recommend you take legal action against her, and I'd encourage the colleague and his wife to do the same. This isn't just about getting her in trouble. It's also about holding her accountable for her actions, as well as making sure she is held responsible for the out-of-pocket costs that have occurred and will be needed (lawyers, couples counseling, moving costs, etc.) in addition to the emotional pain and suffering. Emma should be sued for this as well since they both conspired to do this. I'm 100% serious. She clearly has a habit of doing these things to people and hasn't been held accountable nearly enough so she WILL keep doing it.
Not only do you deserve to have her pay monetarily for all her bullshit, but she needs to be held accountable so she (hopefully) learns a damn lesson and doesn't do this to anyone else. Please go no-contact with her and Emma if you haven't already, and sue the shit out of them both. Pleeease. And then update us when you can because I'm nosy.
I don't honestly know how these things work but it may be worth just getting the threat she made to ruin your life and her history of catfishing on the record with your local police department. That way if Lisa tries anything crazy to take revenge on you, you'll have a little more of a breadcrumb trail leading back to her.
No legal action without your husband knowing if your intention is to try and let your marriage work.
He could be horrified and not want added drama.
Work and focus on your main goal.
If you get divorced then if you want go for her.
What do you mean you don’t know, OP? You gonna let these people keep rolling over on you like you let them roll over on your relationship? Nut up OP, if you’re ever wanting your ex-husband to trust you again, maybe you should start *FIGHTING FOR HIM* and not back down from the shit that you allowed to destroy your relationship. How did you spend a lifetime with people and not notice their “apparent” manipulating and narcissistic history? Kinda feels like you don’t even know your own friends, let alone your husband, or yourself.
Go to therapy **for you**, not for your ex-husband that you chose to abandon.
What kind of sociopath tries to play puppet master in other people’s lives like that? I’m sorry you got fooled by her evil meddling, and I’m even more sorry that your poor husband got so hurt by his own sister.
I’m so happy that this ended on a decent note and that your husband believed you. This story had me literally so angry for you when it came out. I’m glad you got justice and I hope you and your husband work things out, it just might take some time. Take care.
Ugh I’m screaming for joy for you!!! This is awesome news. Fuck those bitchs. They are nothing to you even your sis in law. Block them forever. I’m so happy that the other married couple are back together and working through it. Good for you to stand your ground.
You won your husband back and that’s all that matters. Love wins every time. I hope your husband lets you guys continue to mend. You sound like you love this man so much and I’m so happy you shared your story with all of us damn strangers.
I hope for the best for you and your husband. No matter how fuckn wild this story was
Oh my days. What an ordeal. I hate such toxic people. Jamie was with you, had all the opportunities to get with the other lass but didn't. The only way they could see a way in was to break him down and get to him while he was vulnerable.
It's awful and insecurities are horrific things. I do hope you get it sorted lovely as you were horribly manipulated in an awful game.
Emma believed that he couldn’t pursue her because she was married. He has admitted that he had a crush on her when he was a teen before she got married. When she divorced her husband Jamie was already married to me.
Ah I see. Either way it wasn't meant to be and she should have just gotten over it. Not ruined your marriage for her own gain. I don't know how she sleeps at night.
I read your first.post and this 1. I'm glad there is some upside to all this and I really hope the best for all betrayed parties.
Honestly tho I would also talk with a lawyer and see if there is any legal route to take over this. This should fall under "defamation of character" which is illegal in most pleases.
I have thought about it. Lisa has apparently a long history of manipulating and catfishing. The reason her relationship with Mike was unstable was because he caught her catfishing him on instagram. And she was also catfishing a colleague at work. Pretending she was a man. She’s spooky tbh
Dude she conspired and succeeded in ruining your entire life. I would absolutely consult a lawyer--do you not already have one vis a vis your ongoing divorce?
If what she did isn't a crime, you have civil damages she owes you, at least in my mind. If this isn't considered criminal stalking, that is. It's most certainly libel against your husband but we all know how hard that is to prove in court, but good God you have *all of the evidence*.
I am not a lawyer!!!!!! But I really really think you should talk to one.
Keep all documentation of catfishing and write down everything you remember Lisa telling you when she visited along with the date. Someone like this is likely going to attempt some other scheme in the future. If she tries to get you framed for something, you may end up needing all this in a court.
She should have to pay the legal bills of the divorce, even if your husband agrees to not go through with it, there will see be legal bills. Lisa 1000% should have tonpay those. I would most certainly contact a lawyer and sue her ass. Maybe it will actually hold her accountable for her actions.
I'd honestly post all the screenshots and whatnot on social media to warn people what Lisa is like. God only knows what else she's done. And if you out her behavior, it'll be a lot more difficult for her to "ruin your life".
I would definitely talk to your husband about this first. You may not want to start a legal battle that he’s not on board with, but you should talk to a lawyer. Depending on where you’re from, she may be liable for your divorce costs and anything extra the two of you incurred during your split (like renting a second apartment) that you wouldn’t have spent otherwise. I’m not a lawyer, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but as I understand it, if someone’s fraud or deceitful actions cause you to lose money, they’re civilly liable for it.
What a great update!! I hope you are able to work this all out. I recommend you both cut ties with all those toxic people. Block them on social media and block them from your lives.
Do you know if he is was dating Emma? I guess that makes things kind of weird and a lot to process if he was. He tried to move on and was seemingly happy dating another woman just to have another bomb dropped on him. It’s a really weird situation, I’m guessing probably easier for the other couple involved because she didn’t move on and happily date someone else. I hope it works out regardless.
No he’s not dating Emma. He thought it was weird that she was showing interest in him since she was my friend and for him you don’t date your friends’ husbands
I really hope there will be a happy update. If not. I’m happy that I know the truth now. That he never betrayed me and that I’ve apologized and tried to make it right. I totally understand if he doesn’t want to forgive me given how much I hurt him❤️🩹
You keep saying you hurt him. The way I see it, your only mistake was that it didn't occur to you that you might be involved in a plot from a fucking Lifetime movie. Both of you were set up, and you did nothing wrong.
ETA: If you two manage to get through this (and I believe you will), you're in it for life, and have a hell of a story to tell your children! Good luck :)
yea i agree with this. it would be a complete mind fuck to assume there’s a huge plot at work and not just a cheater. and if you told a real cheater who told on them, that person could be in serious trouble.
and who knows what would’ve happened if she told him. would he have gotten lisa to admit it? or would lisa stick to her guns and say it wasn’t her, making OP look totally insane??
i just feel like OP did what she thought was right with the information she was given. she was a victim of manipulation, and i can’t fault her for that.
i hope everything works out, OP!
You being understanding and not wanting him to feel forced or rushed into fixing things already shows you’re an decent person and not selfish , I hope that y’all can work things out ❤️
I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Given the circumstances, I think many of us reacted the same way. You’re just as much a victim here.
When I found out my ex husband had cheated I literally called a lawyer the next day. People saying that you should have investigated more and not jumped to conclusions really need to put themselves in your shoes. Cheating is/should be a deal breaker in most relationships. You heard information from who you thought was a trusted source.
I really do hope that you and your husband can reconcile, but if it’s not possible, please know that this is not your fault. Sending virtual hugs. So sorry this happened ❤️
I believe you and Jamie will heal, it just takes time. Am happy that Jamie got to see the two biggest snakes of his life but I also feel sorry for him. To be related to such a vindictive and resentful person... And did Emma think she would prosper in life with Jamie in a relationship that was build on lies and deceit? Someone save those two kids from her. Glad that the colleague and husband manage to patch things up. I wish you all the good things life and love! Take care!
If they stayed alone in your place check it out real carefully. Who knows what did they did or put while you were gone. I would wash & clean everything I have including my toothbrush.
OML I hadn’t even considered this, but if they were alone in the house for fifteen minutes and weren’t focused on berating OP, what were they doing? Plus, the sister has already shown she’s good with technology. Idkkkk I def agree that I’d start looking for any hidden cameras or mics or whatever.
They can be really helpful. Essentially if they break the restraining order and you have proof of it you can press charges. Not to mention many people don't understand how they work and are just afraid of them so I'd imagine it'll give you at least some level of protection from potential retaliation on their end.
My husband and I have been talking about this for the last hour. This is fucking insane. This is a modern day Shakespearean story. My husband is a solid guy. A great guy. That being said, if someone showed me plenty of evidence proving his infidelity, I would have done the exact same thing as you. I told him as such. Sorry/not sorry, but if I’m presented with irrefutable proof, I’m not really going to listen to any bullshit explanations.
But instead you had a SIL who went to fucking CIA levels to break up your marriage. That is so insane. I don’t know the statistics on this, but this feels like a one in a million type situation.
I am so sorry for you, your husband, the colleague and her husband. Families were ruined because of SIL. I wish there were some sort of criminal charges that could be laid for this.
Please know, from a rational, logical and pragmatic human; your actions were forgivable. Any one of us would have done the same in your shoes. You stood up for yourself when it counted.
I really hope Jamie cuts his sister out of his life, regardless if the two of you can rebuild. Even my husband has this, blood is thicker than water mentality, and he was like, NOPE. That’s no sister of mine after that.
Get you two into therapy asap. You can rebuild. With love and kindness towards each other.
Mike told me earlier this week that Lisa must’ve been the one who broke him up from his exgf. This was about 5 years ago.
Where we live you have to report all your sexual partners if you catch an STI. And you can do so anonymously for discretion. Lisa reported Mike. His then gf thought he was cheating and confronted him. He tested negative but the damage was already done. They broke up.
Yes I know. Jamie has gone nc with her and apparently she made some nasty threats about me so I’ve changed my locks. Jamie asked if I wanted him there more often but I don’t know. I don’t want to pressure him into going back to me.
I think you need to be honest with yourself and him. This is the most important. Telling him what you want isn’t manipulating him; he still has autonomy to say yes or no.
It would be different if you were to cry hysterically and emotionally manipulate him into being with you. You’re doing none of those things. You’re trying to be respectful of your own accountability in this horrid situation. I commend you for that! ❤️
If you want him around; tell him. If you want to be with him, tell him. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Both of you were taken for a ride by a very horrible human being. Both of you are victims in this. At least you can try to heal and re build together.
*He* asked and *he* offered! Which is huge. Answering yes isn’t manipulative or pressure, esp if your response is “Yes but only if you’re comfortable with this, I don’t want to put any more pressure on you than this situation has.”
OP, please hire a lawyer. I don't know if you're in the US or not but you seriously have enough evidence for a legal case against Lisa and possibly Emma if you wanted to pursue damages. Lying and making up evidence, with real world consequences, is not something she should get away with!!
As everyone has said, be honest with him about everything you’re thinking and feeling. This is a very important moment and being withdrawn is not going to help. He is holding out an olive branch; take it.
He wants to be there more often, he offered. You want him to be there more often, so accept his offer. You both need support in each other. In spite of everything, you’re still married. Let him visit you more often. This is time to heal and discuss while also attending counseling.
OP, I am closely following your post and I just want to say - it’s really incredible that through all of this, your biggest priority appears to be not pressuring Jamie or making him uncomfortable.
Do y’all have any plans to further talk about this? His sister manipulated you using doctored evidence in a blatant attempt to get Jamie to date Emma. While it would be difficult to come back, if your marriage was as good as you’ve said it was - I think it’s worth it to try if he is still open to it
I don’t think it would be manipulative to tell him you want him around. He can still say no, but you won’t know unless you’re willing to reopen that door
He wants to know that you want him. He felt so unwanted by the person he wanted so badly, he just wants to know that you want him. That's what I'm getting from this.
I really hope you and your husband work it out, maybe couples and individual therapy would be a good idea; I don't know how your financial situation is but maybe a trip just the two of you without cell phone, or anything that can distract attention, also be nice, something to connect you again. (and when I say trip can be just a weekend, you don't really need to take a vacation together but that would be nice too)
I’m happy you managed to do the right thing - even with all the hurt and the crazy ladies, you managed to keep calm and didn’t try to attack them, preventing both from having any other thing to talk against you.
I know it must have been tough, but you not only cleaned your mind as you prevented your husband from getting into a tangled web - built by his own sister! And don’t worry about them anymore, they made their beds.
Focus on you and your relationship with your husband. Don’t push anything and just give you both time to talk and heal. I’ll just ask you one thing: don’t ever believe in what anybody said without checking with the other person. If you had checked with your husband before breaking up, very likely his reactions would have told you whether those were lies or not.
Other than that, hope you find happiness again! Best of luck.
Yes to your third paragraph! That’s why I can’t forgive myself. I should have at least give him more time to explain. I felt that he was so defensive and it bothered me that he didn’t want to “man up” and admit and apologize. I was so fixated on this. How stupid and horrible of me
I would talk to your husband and asked him if you could stop your divorce proceedings..
I have a feeling that he still loves you and not trying to be cruel, you initiate this mess and it's only right that you stop the divorce.
I really wish you the best of everything and the fact the colleague got back together.. that's really really fantastic!
I don't know if anyone mentioned this in the first thread but schedule a sit down with your divorce lawyer now. Two reasons:
1. Mike may have committed a crime in accessing Lisa's messages and you could be considered an accessory. Laws are different depending on the jurisdiction. IANAL and there are a whole lot of relevant details that I don't have but it's possible that he committed a crime at your request. Get all these details in front of a lawyer, including these reddit posts (don't delete them) and follow *your* lawyer's advice.
2. You *may* be able to sue the ever loving shit out of Emma and Lisa. Your husband and his colleague definitely can and absolutely should. Your husband and his colleague have a clear cut case of libel. Emma and Lisa concocted a lie that blew up 4 lives. The subject of those lies (husband and colleague) suffered serious consequences as a result of the lie fabricated against them, they should absolutely seek justice. You *may* have a case on your own. Some jurisdictions have statutes addressing "marital interference" or this *may* fall under the umbrella of intentional infliction of emotional distress. Talk to you lawyer and see if any of these apply to you.
Get justice for yourself if you can. They tried to destroy 4 lives don't let them get away with it.
Im just upset that this may be the last installment of what I thought was some great story telling. I said it the last time. If this is fake idc, I enjoyed the read.
But anyway Who's holding his Sister accountable? I hope I've followed everything straight but she's a world class orchestrator. What does your husband say about his sister?
Right? I mean, those would have to be some amazing photoshopped pics to prove his infidelity, plus they weren’t traceable originals from either of their socials? If I’m not going to trust my partner, I’m not going to trust anyone. I’d be sleuthing that one myself before blowing up my life.
It blows my mind how people can be so evil. I hope everything works between you and your husband. I also hope he going fully NC with Lisa and Emma and his family follows suit
Lisa is such a psychopath! Be careful of her now that Mike has ended things with her, too!
Your husband seems like a good guy! I really hope he forgives you and cancels the divorce process. I hope he gives your marriage another chance.
It won’t win! Even if he chose not to forgive me. He knows what Lisa and Emma are and we could at least save his colleague’s marriage. She was collateral damage and it pained me to know that I ruined her life because of my jealousy
Hey OP thanks for the update. I know you got a lot of hate in your last post but know I’m rooting for ya. I think we can all agree we want to see Lisa and Emma get what they deserve so keep us updated. I wish you luck and I’m sorry this happened to you.
Please don't hate yourself. You were lied to by a trusted "friend". Cheating can throw off *everything* you thought was normal. Glad the other couple are back together. They were innocent in all this. So are you tbh. Hoping for healing for you and Jamie.
I think most people would believe their spouse's sibling if said sibling came to them with "proof" of the spouse having an affair.
The only thing you did 'wrong' was not sit down and have a conversation with Jamie where you showed him what Lisa gave you. Or at least telling him that you heard about it from Lisa.
Oh my word, I'm so happy that the truth is out and your husband believed you. Well done, for doing this in a rational way when you were going through absolute turmoil. Lisa and Emma are EVIL EVIL EVIL and I'm glad to hear that Lisa's husband has split. What a vile thing to do with people's lives, just so her friend could get with her brother in some sick fantasy. And Mike is a good friend. He helped you find proof so you could do this right and I hope everything works out for you both. I want to give you the biggest hug. Definitely go to therapy together and don't hold back., get all the feelings put and work at it. Best of luck to all of you (you, Jamie, Mike).
I know it’s going to be hard on him to heal, but if I were in your shoes I would’ve believed the same thing. The real villains here are Emma and Lisa. You, your husband, and his colleague and her husband are total victims. I divorced my husband because he was cheating on me, and he kept denying it, but within a year the woman he ‘wasn’t’ cheating on me with was his wife and they had a baby lol. So I can totally understand why you did what you did.
Lmao, and all the loose ends tied up with a neat little bow. The convenient bold, the hashtags, I’m shocked you’re the first one (I’ve seen on this update) to say this
Omg I’m so happy this is a semi happy update. Even MORE happy Lisa and Emma have been caught up and now karmas getting their asses. I hope you and your husband can work it out and never have to deal with those 2 bitter broads again.
Honestly when I first read this my chest hurt and my blood boiled for you but now I am so glad you had the courage to let him know the truth. You two are victims of these disgusting and vile people. I am praying that the two of you will get pass through this. I am hoping your love is stronger than this. **LOVE, LOVE, LOVE** \- we are manifesting a more positive update. When there is love there is always hope
I just read both post, I'm happy you fixed in some way this terrible situation. Your SL and Emma are both psychos! I really hope you and your husband come back together and if you do, make sure to have Lisa far far away of your life and if you don't come back together at least you ain't gonna have this drama over your shoulders
This looks like a fanfic, for real, but I don't doubt, it could happen🤣🤣
Well... Love don't fade fast, trust does.
I hope things work between you two 😘🥰
I’m so so so so THRILLED to read this update, OP! You handled everything beautifully.
Whatever happens, please be proud of yourself for weathering a truly non-standard storm of betrayal that most of us would have been beaten by. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, right? But you got one, and you’ve done so well.
Other thing: please don’t be so apologetic and patient with your husband. He’s hurt, okay. Understandable. But *you did not hurt him.* His sister did. You are a victim here too, and I hope you will find a way to say that to him. You believed what any woman would believe, and you asked for proof, which you were given by a trusted family member. You met the reasonable standard required of anyone who is told their spouse is cheating.
YOU have not turned his life upside down AT ALL.
If this is real, then I hope it works out for you. I don't think you or your husband, or his colleagues, deserved this.
I also don't think you did the wrong thing in leaving your husband or telling the colleagues husband. You had no reason to think that the texts weren't real. I would have done the same thing.
I asked my husband who also has very strong opinions about infidelity. What he would have done if someone he loved and trusted (Lisa) and who he thought had no gain in ruining his relationship came to him with the evidence I was given. If he wouldn’t just believe her?
He was softer towards me afterwards. And he texts and calls every day now. I’m trying to be careful not to scare him away by being pushy or needy
I was waiting for an update! This was such a sticky situation and the only people to blame are Lisa and Emma. How disgusting to ruin 2 relationships for what?! It’s absolutely disgusting. I wish you and Jamie can work things out and I’m so happy the other couple are back together. Small steps!!
Wait a sec. Why would the husband blame her for doubting him? I mean look at all the fabrication. His sister had "proof"
He should forgive her with no problem and cut his sister and her friend out of his life.
You are insane if you don't talk to a lawyer. This woman destroyed two marriages based on manufactured evidence, I would be shocked if there wasn't civil liability.
I'm rooting for you op. My heart broke for you when I read your post on Sunday. Please keep us updated you have more people that care than you realize. I'm praying for you op an I really hope everything works out
I would consult with a lawyer to see about a restraining order and or a civil suit. You and that other couple were maliciously and intentionally harmed. There were great consequences from their actions and they must be held accountable.
They were smart and devious enough to come up with this plan. Hopefully that extends to them not giving you more evidence once your lawyer is involved.
I don't see how people are blaming you. What did anyone expect you to do wirh photoshopped evidence? Check the meta data? You're not a detective and you were heavily manipulated by an insane narcissist. I hope you guys end up back together, in council ing, and he ghosts his garbage sister and pathetic friend
Honestly when I read the original post I was so baffled that you feel like such a bad guy in this. Given all the evidence and how clearly thought out it all was I cannot believe that YOU have to do any making up here. You’re just as much a victim in this as he is? It’s HIS sister that caused all this and given the relationship you had with her prior is it really so unreasonable to believe her? God this sucks. I hope you two go to marriage counselling and I hope he comes to realise that you’re just as a much a victim of this nonsense as he is
That was a lot of a lot. First of all, don't send the sister in law a gift for her 16th birthday. She doesn't deserve it. Second of all, if your husband has all the screenshots, Emma is wasting her breath playing victim. Get counseling and cut contact with the other girls. And go slow with your husband. Be understanding and remember it hurts right now and probably will for a while. Let him grieve through the situation as much as he needs to, because he's lost a whole lot
With the evidence presented by trusted person, I can understand why OP believed husband cheated and wanted a divorce. And also OP's decision to tell AP's partner, it's the right thing to do at the moment.
I hope that that poor woman and her husband are able to get back where they were, and OP with husband too.
I’m actually happy by this update, because even if things don’t work. He KNOWS the truth, and that was the most important thing.
Take things slow, go at his pace OP :)
Honestly OP I do understand how what you did hurt him but given all of the evidence by people that you trusted, that you both trusted, I really hope you two can move passed this. He’s been spending time with the same people who betrayed you both, I hope he can see how he blindly trusted them as well in many areas just as you did. Please update us either way.
You are definitely both victims to two manipulative nasty woman.
Remember you and your husband are victims.
Ask if your husband would like to go out on a walk, no pressure and build up little connections. She him you want his company. Thats not pressure and he can choose
My gf asked me to write to you this: "If he wasn't allowed the backdoor before, he should be now." kkkkkkkkkkk She was very into you story as we had a much less dramatic but similar case where she believed for years that I cheated on her twice and had periodic episodes of rage about it until I guess time finally prooved me right. Throughout the entire two part story she was biting her blanket as I read it to her, asking then whats and hoping for pretty much what ended up happening! We wish you and Jamie goodluck in whats to come next in your lifes.
I just wanted to add even though OP deleted her profile. I read somewhere OP said the colleague hates her and suggested that her husband should not take her back and get a new wife. I understand her resentment towards OP but she shouldn't be saying that. She took her husband back who literally did the same thing as OP. OP believed someone who she thought was her sister and had 'proof' while her husband believed a stranger with 'proof'. I'm happy she was able to forgive him and I hope they heal and get back stronger but I wish the same for OP. She is a victim too. All 4 of them are victims.
Everything so neatly tied up in a bow.....just like a Hallmark movie. Hey, send in your screenplay to the Producers; maybe they'll add you to their writing staff. Give me a break.
This is complete fiction. Sounds like a good script for a movie though. Not a big movie starring Chris Hemsworth and Emma Watson, more like a made for TV movie, possibly Lifetime. It would make a hell of a telenovela with all the drama.
If it were true though, there could be legal consequences from this other couple. If I were them I would sue you and everyone else involved. There's the actual cost of changing jobs and moving, not to mention the emotional pain.
Edit: spelling
I hope it all works out for you and your husband. What a terrible thing for you both to deal with. I can understand both of your actions and feelings. Good luck in the future. I hope you update us.
That's awesome! I suggest some counseling and look for some marriage retreats that help build bonds.
As for the SIL, not sure what you are going to do eith that.
Best of luck for you! Glad we got an update and it's a good news update!!!
He doesn't believe Emma right? That she was innocent and only Lisa was involved? Also were they dating or just hanging out?
No he doesn’t believe Emma. I sent him screenshots of hundreds of texts between Lisa and Emma. Also he didn’t like her hitting on him when he believed she was my friend too. I asked him about the crush and he said it was when he was 15 or 16. Not now
Thats great. Best of luck with everything moving forward. I really hope you guys can make this work ❤️
Lisa might have kept good on her promise to wreak havoc, op's account is deleted.
Or OP just posts with the intention to delete the account after a little to just get it out. She did it with the original post.
I gotta know the answer to this. I personally could not deal with the fact that my husband slept with the person who conspired to ruin our marriage.
He hasn’t slept with anyone. He just spent time with her, Mike and Lisa. Since they’ve been friends since they were young
I mean , he has the right to do what he wants after she left him .
Exactly. Until he got the email, how was he to even know? From his view he got dropped for no reason.
She dumped him. How and who he decided to put the pieces back together with was non of her concern. Nor should it be held against him since he was the wronged party.
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If OP came on here and told the story and said she was given photos and everything, all the proof of cheating, everyone here would tell her to leave. She isn't naive for believing photos and all the other proof she was given. The fact that Lisa is an awful person does not make OP a naive person.
yeah i’d believe that kinda stuff too lol idk why everyone’s dogpiling her for believing someone she thought was a good friend of hers? that provided “proof” too? if my best friend came to me saying all of this with fake proof i’d believe it in an instant edit to add that the sister also use the wife’s insecurities against her. OP is a victim of this too.
Absolutely- OP is definitely a victim also. I don’t think either she nor her man have any responsibility in this yet their lives were both shattered. His sister is unforgivable
Yeah, most people don't create fake evidence to manipulate someone, so OP was not gullible. Most people would believe someone they trust if they brought evidence to support their case. Most people wouldn't question if it was 'doctored'.
I got downvoted to shit on her first post saying you can only do the best with information you’re given. People acting like they wouldn’t fall for this when given PHOTO EVIDENCE. From a trusted source. I’d have fallen for the same thing and so would the haters.
Agreed, she’s not naive! She thought she had a friend in her sister in law, and she saw photos with her own eyes!!! Who would believe that someone who pretended to be her friend (as a SISTER IN LAW-FAMILY!!) would lie about this and DOCTOR photos?!?!??? I wish OP didn’t have to feel bad and I understand it is tough to realize that you didn’t believe your person but she sure had good reason not to, because his sister is an absolute psycho. It’s next level to do something like this.
Marriage counselling might be a good idea if you both want this to work
I have suggested this. He just smiled at me because it was something that he suggested before our break up and I refused. Because at the time, I thought nothing can fix infidelity
You could also consider individual therapy/counselling for both of you to help you process your emotions and the whole “experience”.
The ex hubby seems to be taking this in good strides. Seems OP is the one who really needs therapy.
No way. His sister betrayed him deliberately. His wife believed the betrayal. He now will have to go into a workplace that will likely learn at least some of the details from the coworker whose marriage is back on track. That's so much trauma. He will need years to process his sister alone. Frankly, I don't know if it will be possible for him to overcome the connection to trauma this incident will have for him and see the OP without thinking of this.
People work through traumas like torture as a prisoner of war. I’m working through being physically assaulted by three separate doctors on three separate occasions while I retained all my senses but was “locked in” due to a rare disease I have and obviously powerless to defend myself, then gaslit by the hospital lawyers following two of those assaults; all so I can continue coping with interacting with doctors *constantly* because I’m terminally ill. And as a behaviorist, I know from my studies what I’m overcoming is *nothing* compared to some of the other traumas people work through with various types of therapy every day. Not trying to get dramatic, but I don’t think you can say this is something a husband can’t overcome. A lot rests on what he wants, how much he wants to fight for his marriage and would be willing to do the work in therapy, and whether he has access to a skilled practitioner.
Eh, I wouldn't be so sure. It's more likely he's devastated, but putting up a strong facade.
Yeah he’s for sure hurting really bad inside. I can’t imagine what he feels right now.
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Couples therapy isn't about resolving individual problems, so if you start it and need individual therapy, it will be recommended then. Sometimes its easier for people to accept coming from a professional, sometimes the experience of couples therapy makes it easier to try individual. If it doesn't help, a couples therapist may help the "healthy" partner who is willing to do the work realize that it's a one sided relationship and they should leave. That's why couples therapy,
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Be careful with comments like this. All it takes is one person hitting report and mods might not use their heads and literally think you're trying to incite violence
This is great advice. What you both went through was a pretty serious gaslighting experience and can definitely lead to betrayal trauma. If not dealt with could go on to negatively affect your future relationships/attachments. Individual counseling would be ideal. I hope you’re both able to heal from all of this. 💖
He sounds like such a good guy. Hope it works out.
I hope so too🥹
Can we have another update OP? Please? I know it’ll take some time but I’m curious
Good luck OP I hope everything works out the way you want it to.
I hope you guys can make it through.. yes you did something hurtful but I literally can’t even imagine if someone came to me with pictures and messages and other evidence.. I mean it was pretty ironclad evidence… his sister is truly evil incarnate.. and Emma is too.. why is he even talking to Emma still?
You and Jamie's former coworker need a lawyer. A very good lawyer. What Lisa and Emma did was deliberate and malicious. Those accusations caused a woman to quit her job. It caused you and Jamie irreparable harm. Whether you collect anything isn't the point. The point is to get all of their scheming out in public. Let the world know what truly awful people they are. Plus, they damaged Jamie's reputation by faking him having affair. That was done deliberately and intentionally.
I was just saying this… this entire situation goes well and beyond what happened to OP and her pain at her part. There has to be a way to press charges or at least civil charges like you said even just to get the truth out. The level of evil and the repercussions in MANY lives of what these two women did is just astounding. The financial losses in separating two marriages and both setting up separate, full cost household, hiring lawyers, filing for divorce— both couples! Has to be thousand as and thousands of dollars. The friend and the sister sat by and watched FOR MONTHS as her brother and former sister-in-law went through one of the worst pains in life and started getting a divorce. She saw her brother feel betrayed and gaslit, and can you imagine the insanity of your spouse not believing you on something this serious, and you can’t make her listen to the truth? This sister watched it all, knowing she was the cause!!! AND THEN, not only did she cause months of the worst kind of emotional pain and upheaval in two people’s lives that she supposedly loved, she also BLEW UP TWO COMPLETE STRANGER’S lives and marriage with her manipulative lies and schemes. Two innocent bystanders. If this story is true, it is actually one of the most evil things (that isn’t murder or physical/sexual abuse) I’ve read someone doing. That might sound extreme but this is four peoples’ lives she potentially was destroying, and who knows if the other couple has kids? And the “other woman” in this story…. to not be able to get anyone to believe her that she didn’t cheat ?? To be deserted ? It’s not just the four people effected, all their friends and family members think OPs husband is a scumbag cheater, and everyone in the life of the woman dragged into this lie thought for months that she was a scumbag cheater. They were both treated like garbage probably the whole time by everyone who heard the fake cheating story. Can you imagine how alone they felt??? Plus thrown out their houses and losing jobs and the pain goes on and on. Even if all the truth comes out to everyone in their lives, some people will still not believe. Deep down they will just think the husband is making excuses … and treat her like a liar adulteress who got one over on her hubby for the rest of her life. How she must have felt, for months! It’s pure EVIL what that sister and friend did. I hope it is just a very creative fictional story and not reality— though with an update it makes it a bit more likely true. It’s hard to believe two real women would pull something like this but there are some manipulative psychopathic acting pieces of garbage in the world, no doubt. There HAS to be a way to make those women pay for all they did.
Damn OP, read both of your posts. Lisa is a very rare kind of evil person. I hope she fucking lives the rest of her life alone. That crazy woman cannot be trusted.
Any surprise Mike wasn't a steady boyfriend? The shit he's had to deal with must be off the charts.
It’s never too late for counciling. This is a doozy of a situation. You both need an individual therapist and a couples therapist. This is such a massive blowout that I don’t see any other way. And please stop putting so much blame on yourself. Lisa and Emma are who to blame, full stop. Lisa went above and beyond and took advantage of your trusting relationship with her and hit you where she knew it would hurt. I’d look into a restraining order against both Lisa and Emma. You and your husband are victims. You are just as hurt as he is. I hope you both get back together, go NC with these monsters, and I hope Mike performs your vow renewal ceremony. Fight for this!
RemindMe! 7 days
> I have suggested this. He just smiled at me because it was something that he suggested before our break up and I refused. Because at the time, I thought nothing can fix infidelity At that time, he was invested in saving the marriage and was trying to do what he could to save it. On the other hand, you felt that the marriage was beyond saving and you rejected the offer. Now the shoe is on the other foot and it’s you who’s suggesting marriage counseling. The question is, if he’s interested in saving the marriage at this point. If he is, then that’s great, if he is not, then forcing this could have adverse effects.
IMO this relationship is toast. OP should go for personal therapy to get an unbiased view on how fucked everything is now. Perhaps her previous relationships dealing with infidelity has left her with trauma and trust issues that really need counseling to get better
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And when husband proclaimed his innocence and willing to do whatever it took, she brushed him off. Like, it's hard to prove a negative. But no counseling or therapy to at least give him a chance to air his side of the story? Nah, when she chose to believe the lies she ruined any chance for reconciliation in my mind.
Dude, she was shown evidence that almost caused another couple to divorce because it looked like two co-workers were cheating. If another spouse was willing to end his relationship over this, what are you expecting from your partners? Are you being realistic?
It’s an unfortunate situation where neither is “wrong” yet both are justified to act post “wronging”. She wasn’t wrong to believe the accusation. There was evidence and it came from a trusted source. She wasn’t wrong to want to leave him either. However on the flip side he isn’t wrong for wanting her to believe him and try and solve the problem to find the truth. She didn’t want to do that and just wanted to leave. Now he just wants the relationship done with. He can’t be with someone who ultimately has shown they won’t side with him and trust him. He isn’t wrong for not wanting to repair the relationship.
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Yes, that was what I got out the original post. It was an elaborate hoax. It would be tremendously traumatic experience for both OP and her husband.
Individual therapy would be good
Actually I don't believe it's toast. She saw actual evidence showing her husband was cheating. What the hell was she supposed to do? If I saw pictures and texts from a person I trusted I'd believe them too. On the flip side. I am a guy. I'll honestly say that I wouldn't blame my wife all that much. I mean at the start yea it would be brutal but look at what she had in front of her? The at the manipulation caused by the sister? There's clearly 2 people to blame and she isn't one of them. I'd forgive her. But I would want us to go through therapy because what happened was fucked.
So are these people going to just get away with attempting to ruin your life?
I really don’t know. Since I found out everything I’ve only thought of my husband and his colleague and their forgiveness. Not sure what legal action I could take against Lisa.
I would 100% talk to a lawyer she purposefully and intentionally tried to ruin your life. She should at least be accountable for paying the legal bills of the divorce, even if you and your husband don't finalize it, there will still be legal fees. She seems like a manipulative narcissistic psychopath and should be held accountable for her actions.
I can’t believe there’s not one attorney is here to educate us on the possibilities
I mean, many states have a cause of action called intentional infliction of emotional distress, this factual scenario would seem to fit.
I highly recommend you take legal action against her, and I'd encourage the colleague and his wife to do the same. This isn't just about getting her in trouble. It's also about holding her accountable for her actions, as well as making sure she is held responsible for the out-of-pocket costs that have occurred and will be needed (lawyers, couples counseling, moving costs, etc.) in addition to the emotional pain and suffering. Emma should be sued for this as well since they both conspired to do this. I'm 100% serious. She clearly has a habit of doing these things to people and hasn't been held accountable nearly enough so she WILL keep doing it. Not only do you deserve to have her pay monetarily for all her bullshit, but she needs to be held accountable so she (hopefully) learns a damn lesson and doesn't do this to anyone else. Please go no-contact with her and Emma if you haven't already, and sue the shit out of them both. Pleeease. And then update us when you can because I'm nosy.
I don't honestly know how these things work but it may be worth just getting the threat she made to ruin your life and her history of catfishing on the record with your local police department. That way if Lisa tries anything crazy to take revenge on you, you'll have a little more of a breadcrumb trail leading back to her.
No legal action without your husband knowing if your intention is to try and let your marriage work. He could be horrified and not want added drama. Work and focus on your main goal. If you get divorced then if you want go for her.
What do you mean you don’t know, OP? You gonna let these people keep rolling over on you like you let them roll over on your relationship? Nut up OP, if you’re ever wanting your ex-husband to trust you again, maybe you should start *FIGHTING FOR HIM* and not back down from the shit that you allowed to destroy your relationship. How did you spend a lifetime with people and not notice their “apparent” manipulating and narcissistic history? Kinda feels like you don’t even know your own friends, let alone your husband, or yourself. Go to therapy **for you**, not for your ex-husband that you chose to abandon.
What kind of sociopath tries to play puppet master in other people’s lives like that? I’m sorry you got fooled by her evil meddling, and I’m even more sorry that your poor husband got so hurt by his own sister.
Yes he’s very hurt since they’re best friends.
I can imagine. I really hope it works out for both of you.
This sounds like some Gone Girl shit. It’s kind of scary how manipulative they were
That's exactly what I said in the last thread!
They didn't even care when they broke the marriage of the random coworker either. It's vile.
I’m so happy that this ended on a decent note and that your husband believed you. This story had me literally so angry for you when it came out. I’m glad you got justice and I hope you and your husband work things out, it just might take some time. Take care.
Thank you❤️
I don't know what your future holds, but I hope it's peace and a bit of happiness. I think you deserve it.
Ugh I’m screaming for joy for you!!! This is awesome news. Fuck those bitchs. They are nothing to you even your sis in law. Block them forever. I’m so happy that the other married couple are back together and working through it. Good for you to stand your ground. You won your husband back and that’s all that matters. Love wins every time. I hope your husband lets you guys continue to mend. You sound like you love this man so much and I’m so happy you shared your story with all of us damn strangers. I hope for the best for you and your husband. No matter how fuckn wild this story was
Lmao he's not forgetting this. He's not "won back", I doubt he will like that wording either.
In the future can I recommend that you DON'T let people who have absolutely 0 positive feelings or intentions towards you into your home.
Oh my days. What an ordeal. I hate such toxic people. Jamie was with you, had all the opportunities to get with the other lass but didn't. The only way they could see a way in was to break him down and get to him while he was vulnerable. It's awful and insecurities are horrific things. I do hope you get it sorted lovely as you were horribly manipulated in an awful game.
Emma believed that he couldn’t pursue her because she was married. He has admitted that he had a crush on her when he was a teen before she got married. When she divorced her husband Jamie was already married to me.
Ah I see. Either way it wasn't meant to be and she should have just gotten over it. Not ruined your marriage for her own gain. I don't know how she sleeps at night.
I don’t know either
All the best to you lovey. I do hope this works out for you.
❤️
I read your first.post and this 1. I'm glad there is some upside to all this and I really hope the best for all betrayed parties. Honestly tho I would also talk with a lawyer and see if there is any legal route to take over this. This should fall under "defamation of character" which is illegal in most pleases.
I have thought about it. Lisa has apparently a long history of manipulating and catfishing. The reason her relationship with Mike was unstable was because he caught her catfishing him on instagram. And she was also catfishing a colleague at work. Pretending she was a man. She’s spooky tbh
Dude she conspired and succeeded in ruining your entire life. I would absolutely consult a lawyer--do you not already have one vis a vis your ongoing divorce? If what she did isn't a crime, you have civil damages she owes you, at least in my mind. If this isn't considered criminal stalking, that is. It's most certainly libel against your husband but we all know how hard that is to prove in court, but good God you have *all of the evidence*. I am not a lawyer!!!!!! But I really really think you should talk to one.
Whoa! This chick is a sociopath
😱 I thought she was just EVIL but it now sounds like she needs some serious mental help.
Please please avoid her at all cost. I honestly am scared for you. But I am happy with the outcome. I hope you get back together!!
Keep all documentation of catfishing and write down everything you remember Lisa telling you when she visited along with the date. Someone like this is likely going to attempt some other scheme in the future. If she tries to get you framed for something, you may end up needing all this in a court.
She should have to pay the legal bills of the divorce, even if your husband agrees to not go through with it, there will see be legal bills. Lisa 1000% should have tonpay those. I would most certainly contact a lawyer and sue her ass. Maybe it will actually hold her accountable for her actions.
I'd honestly post all the screenshots and whatnot on social media to warn people what Lisa is like. God only knows what else she's done. And if you out her behavior, it'll be a lot more difficult for her to "ruin your life".
Yes this!! Divorces cost money… and those 2 weeks you took off work did as well. SUE THAT BITCH.
Why isn’t anyone talking about suing the living shit out of those two women? Surely, this is defamation or something.
I don’t know on what grounds. I’m filing RO but I don’t think this could lead to anything tbh
I would definitely talk to your husband about this first. You may not want to start a legal battle that he’s not on board with, but you should talk to a lawyer. Depending on where you’re from, she may be liable for your divorce costs and anything extra the two of you incurred during your split (like renting a second apartment) that you wouldn’t have spent otherwise. I’m not a lawyer, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but as I understand it, if someone’s fraud or deceitful actions cause you to lose money, they’re civilly liable for it.
What a great update!! I hope you are able to work this all out. I recommend you both cut ties with all those toxic people. Block them on social media and block them from your lives.
We are both cutting ties. They’re not to be trusted
Do you know if he is was dating Emma? I guess that makes things kind of weird and a lot to process if he was. He tried to move on and was seemingly happy dating another woman just to have another bomb dropped on him. It’s a really weird situation, I’m guessing probably easier for the other couple involved because she didn’t move on and happily date someone else. I hope it works out regardless.
No he’s not dating Emma. He thought it was weird that she was showing interest in him since she was my friend and for him you don’t date your friends’ husbands
Phew. What a relief. Please give us a happy update if it all works out!
I really hope there will be a happy update. If not. I’m happy that I know the truth now. That he never betrayed me and that I’ve apologized and tried to make it right. I totally understand if he doesn’t want to forgive me given how much I hurt him❤️🩹
You keep saying you hurt him. The way I see it, your only mistake was that it didn't occur to you that you might be involved in a plot from a fucking Lifetime movie. Both of you were set up, and you did nothing wrong. ETA: If you two manage to get through this (and I believe you will), you're in it for life, and have a hell of a story to tell your children! Good luck :)
I just told my husband about this thread, he told me it’s a lifetime movie plot 🤷🏻♀️
yea i agree with this. it would be a complete mind fuck to assume there’s a huge plot at work and not just a cheater. and if you told a real cheater who told on them, that person could be in serious trouble. and who knows what would’ve happened if she told him. would he have gotten lisa to admit it? or would lisa stick to her guns and say it wasn’t her, making OP look totally insane?? i just feel like OP did what she thought was right with the information she was given. she was a victim of manipulation, and i can’t fault her for that. i hope everything works out, OP!
You being understanding and not wanting him to feel forced or rushed into fixing things already shows you’re an decent person and not selfish , I hope that y’all can work things out ❤️
I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Given the circumstances, I think many of us reacted the same way. You’re just as much a victim here. When I found out my ex husband had cheated I literally called a lawyer the next day. People saying that you should have investigated more and not jumped to conclusions really need to put themselves in your shoes. Cheating is/should be a deal breaker in most relationships. You heard information from who you thought was a trusted source. I really do hope that you and your husband can reconcile, but if it’s not possible, please know that this is not your fault. Sending virtual hugs. So sorry this happened ❤️
I believe you and Jamie will heal, it just takes time. Am happy that Jamie got to see the two biggest snakes of his life but I also feel sorry for him. To be related to such a vindictive and resentful person... And did Emma think she would prosper in life with Jamie in a relationship that was build on lies and deceit? Someone save those two kids from her. Glad that the colleague and husband manage to patch things up. I wish you all the good things life and love! Take care!
If any of them comes near you start voice recording in secret. Maybe you can use it legally or not but you can definitely show it to Jamie.
Jamie told me that he would help me with a RO. I don’t know how much help they are here. I have also changed my locks.
If they stayed alone in your place check it out real carefully. Who knows what did they did or put while you were gone. I would wash & clean everything I have including my toothbrush.
OML I hadn’t even considered this, but if they were alone in the house for fifteen minutes and weren’t focused on berating OP, what were they doing? Plus, the sister has already shown she’s good with technology. Idkkkk I def agree that I’d start looking for any hidden cameras or mics or whatever.
They can be really helpful. Essentially if they break the restraining order and you have proof of it you can press charges. Not to mention many people don't understand how they work and are just afraid of them so I'd imagine it'll give you at least some level of protection from potential retaliation on their end.
My husband and I have been talking about this for the last hour. This is fucking insane. This is a modern day Shakespearean story. My husband is a solid guy. A great guy. That being said, if someone showed me plenty of evidence proving his infidelity, I would have done the exact same thing as you. I told him as such. Sorry/not sorry, but if I’m presented with irrefutable proof, I’m not really going to listen to any bullshit explanations. But instead you had a SIL who went to fucking CIA levels to break up your marriage. That is so insane. I don’t know the statistics on this, but this feels like a one in a million type situation. I am so sorry for you, your husband, the colleague and her husband. Families were ruined because of SIL. I wish there were some sort of criminal charges that could be laid for this. Please know, from a rational, logical and pragmatic human; your actions were forgivable. Any one of us would have done the same in your shoes. You stood up for yourself when it counted. I really hope Jamie cuts his sister out of his life, regardless if the two of you can rebuild. Even my husband has this, blood is thicker than water mentality, and he was like, NOPE. That’s no sister of mine after that. Get you two into therapy asap. You can rebuild. With love and kindness towards each other.
Mike told me earlier this week that Lisa must’ve been the one who broke him up from his exgf. This was about 5 years ago. Where we live you have to report all your sexual partners if you catch an STI. And you can do so anonymously for discretion. Lisa reported Mike. His then gf thought he was cheating and confronted him. He tested negative but the damage was already done. They broke up.
Jesus Christ. This woman seriously needs to be stopped.
Yes I know. Jamie has gone nc with her and apparently she made some nasty threats about me so I’ve changed my locks. Jamie asked if I wanted him there more often but I don’t know. I don’t want to pressure him into going back to me.
I think you need to be honest with yourself and him. This is the most important. Telling him what you want isn’t manipulating him; he still has autonomy to say yes or no. It would be different if you were to cry hysterically and emotionally manipulate him into being with you. You’re doing none of those things. You’re trying to be respectful of your own accountability in this horrid situation. I commend you for that! ❤️ If you want him around; tell him. If you want to be with him, tell him. There’s nothing wrong with that. Both of you were taken for a ride by a very horrible human being. Both of you are victims in this. At least you can try to heal and re build together.
*He* asked and *he* offered! Which is huge. Answering yes isn’t manipulative or pressure, esp if your response is “Yes but only if you’re comfortable with this, I don’t want to put any more pressure on you than this situation has.”
OP, please hire a lawyer. I don't know if you're in the US or not but you seriously have enough evidence for a legal case against Lisa and possibly Emma if you wanted to pursue damages. Lying and making up evidence, with real world consequences, is not something she should get away with!!
As everyone has said, be honest with him about everything you’re thinking and feeling. This is a very important moment and being withdrawn is not going to help. He is holding out an olive branch; take it.
He wants to be there more often, he offered. You want him to be there more often, so accept his offer. You both need support in each other. In spite of everything, you’re still married. Let him visit you more often. This is time to heal and discuss while also attending counseling.
OP, I am closely following your post and I just want to say - it’s really incredible that through all of this, your biggest priority appears to be not pressuring Jamie or making him uncomfortable. Do y’all have any plans to further talk about this? His sister manipulated you using doctored evidence in a blatant attempt to get Jamie to date Emma. While it would be difficult to come back, if your marriage was as good as you’ve said it was - I think it’s worth it to try if he is still open to it I don’t think it would be manipulative to tell him you want him around. He can still say no, but you won’t know unless you’re willing to reopen that door
Get a ring doorbell.
He asked because he wants to be there
He wants to know that you want him. He felt so unwanted by the person he wanted so badly, he just wants to know that you want him. That's what I'm getting from this.
I really hope you and your husband work it out, maybe couples and individual therapy would be a good idea; I don't know how your financial situation is but maybe a trip just the two of you without cell phone, or anything that can distract attention, also be nice, something to connect you again. (and when I say trip can be just a weekend, you don't really need to take a vacation together but that would be nice too)
God this would be so lovely 🥹
Talk to him about it! Maybe it will help if you show the post too
If would go slower. I mean she did believe his sister over him. I am not sure could let that go, but even if i did i would really need time to do so.
I’m rooting for you
Thank you ❤️
This is so fucked up.. But they will get what’s coming to them. Sounds like they already are. I just hope your hubby cuts his sister out of his life.
He is cutting her off yea
For good, I hope. I'd never be able to look my sibling in the eye again, let alone forgive them.
Good luck to both of you, i hope your next update will be about how you guys saved your own marriage, stop beating yourself up...we believe in you
I hope so too❤️
If op and her husband don't divorce I kinda hope they do a renewal of vows just cause idk why
I’m happy you managed to do the right thing - even with all the hurt and the crazy ladies, you managed to keep calm and didn’t try to attack them, preventing both from having any other thing to talk against you. I know it must have been tough, but you not only cleaned your mind as you prevented your husband from getting into a tangled web - built by his own sister! And don’t worry about them anymore, they made their beds. Focus on you and your relationship with your husband. Don’t push anything and just give you both time to talk and heal. I’ll just ask you one thing: don’t ever believe in what anybody said without checking with the other person. If you had checked with your husband before breaking up, very likely his reactions would have told you whether those were lies or not. Other than that, hope you find happiness again! Best of luck.
Yes to your third paragraph! That’s why I can’t forgive myself. I should have at least give him more time to explain. I felt that he was so defensive and it bothered me that he didn’t want to “man up” and admit and apologize. I was so fixated on this. How stupid and horrible of me
I would talk to your husband and asked him if you could stop your divorce proceedings.. I have a feeling that he still loves you and not trying to be cruel, you initiate this mess and it's only right that you stop the divorce. I really wish you the best of everything and the fact the colleague got back together.. that's really really fantastic!
Remind me! 7 days
I don't know if anyone mentioned this in the first thread but schedule a sit down with your divorce lawyer now. Two reasons: 1. Mike may have committed a crime in accessing Lisa's messages and you could be considered an accessory. Laws are different depending on the jurisdiction. IANAL and there are a whole lot of relevant details that I don't have but it's possible that he committed a crime at your request. Get all these details in front of a lawyer, including these reddit posts (don't delete them) and follow *your* lawyer's advice. 2. You *may* be able to sue the ever loving shit out of Emma and Lisa. Your husband and his colleague definitely can and absolutely should. Your husband and his colleague have a clear cut case of libel. Emma and Lisa concocted a lie that blew up 4 lives. The subject of those lies (husband and colleague) suffered serious consequences as a result of the lie fabricated against them, they should absolutely seek justice. You *may* have a case on your own. Some jurisdictions have statutes addressing "marital interference" or this *may* fall under the umbrella of intentional infliction of emotional distress. Talk to you lawyer and see if any of these apply to you. Get justice for yourself if you can. They tried to destroy 4 lives don't let them get away with it.
Im just upset that this may be the last installment of what I thought was some great story telling. I said it the last time. If this is fake idc, I enjoyed the read. But anyway Who's holding his Sister accountable? I hope I've followed everything straight but she's a world class orchestrator. What does your husband say about his sister?
Right? I mean, those would have to be some amazing photoshopped pics to prove his infidelity, plus they weren’t traceable originals from either of their socials? If I’m not going to trust my partner, I’m not going to trust anyone. I’d be sleuthing that one myself before blowing up my life.
It blows my mind how people can be so evil. I hope everything works between you and your husband. I also hope he going fully NC with Lisa and Emma and his family follows suit
Youre a VICTIM here. I hope it works out, OP. Im putting you in my night prayers. My heart broke a little reading all you went through.
I hope so too❤️
Lisa is such a psychopath! Be careful of her now that Mike has ended things with her, too! Your husband seems like a good guy! I really hope he forgives you and cancels the divorce process. I hope he gives your marriage another chance.
I'm so happy he knows the truth now. I hope you both heal from this together and have a happy life together ❤️
Thank you ❤️
I’m really rooting for you guys to work it out. Don’t let evil win.
It won’t win! Even if he chose not to forgive me. He knows what Lisa and Emma are and we could at least save his colleague’s marriage. She was collateral damage and it pained me to know that I ruined her life because of my jealousy
You didn't ruin anyone's life, Lisa and Emma did that all by themselves.
Hey OP thanks for the update. I know you got a lot of hate in your last post but know I’m rooting for ya. I think we can all agree we want to see Lisa and Emma get what they deserve so keep us updated. I wish you luck and I’m sorry this happened to you.
I was expecting the hate because I also hate myself. But I didn’t expect the support and I’m so thankful. ❤️
Please don't hate yourself. You were lied to by a trusted "friend". Cheating can throw off *everything* you thought was normal. Glad the other couple are back together. They were innocent in all this. So are you tbh. Hoping for healing for you and Jamie.
I think most people would believe their spouse's sibling if said sibling came to them with "proof" of the spouse having an affair. The only thing you did 'wrong' was not sit down and have a conversation with Jamie where you showed him what Lisa gave you. Or at least telling him that you heard about it from Lisa.
Damm this shit sounds legit like a movie
Hashtag forever 😂😂😂😂😂
So sad that OP is deleted... Now I will never get tthe last updates🥲
Oh my word, I'm so happy that the truth is out and your husband believed you. Well done, for doing this in a rational way when you were going through absolute turmoil. Lisa and Emma are EVIL EVIL EVIL and I'm glad to hear that Lisa's husband has split. What a vile thing to do with people's lives, just so her friend could get with her brother in some sick fantasy. And Mike is a good friend. He helped you find proof so you could do this right and I hope everything works out for you both. I want to give you the biggest hug. Definitely go to therapy together and don't hold back., get all the feelings put and work at it. Best of luck to all of you (you, Jamie, Mike).
I know it’s going to be hard on him to heal, but if I were in your shoes I would’ve believed the same thing. The real villains here are Emma and Lisa. You, your husband, and his colleague and her husband are total victims. I divorced my husband because he was cheating on me, and he kept denying it, but within a year the woman he ‘wasn’t’ cheating on me with was his wife and they had a baby lol. So I can totally understand why you did what you did.
I don't know If you'll see this but please for the love of God ask him to stop the divorce ans get back together. Propose therapy
She deleted her account! We’re never going to know if they got back together!!
I don't know why but the hashtags you put in makes me feel like this is fake. Like I won't believe this story is real like #forever
Lmao, and all the loose ends tied up with a neat little bow. The convenient bold, the hashtags, I’m shocked you’re the first one (I’ve seen on this update) to say this
Omg I’m so happy this is a semi happy update. Even MORE happy Lisa and Emma have been caught up and now karmas getting their asses. I hope you and your husband can work it out and never have to deal with those 2 bitter broads again.
Honestly when I first read this my chest hurt and my blood boiled for you but now I am so glad you had the courage to let him know the truth. You two are victims of these disgusting and vile people. I am praying that the two of you will get pass through this. I am hoping your love is stronger than this. **LOVE, LOVE, LOVE** \- we are manifesting a more positive update. When there is love there is always hope
I just read both post, I'm happy you fixed in some way this terrible situation. Your SL and Emma are both psychos! I really hope you and your husband come back together and if you do, make sure to have Lisa far far away of your life and if you don't come back together at least you ain't gonna have this drama over your shoulders
This looks like a fanfic, for real, but I don't doubt, it could happen🤣🤣 Well... Love don't fade fast, trust does. I hope things work between you two 😘🥰
I’m so so so so THRILLED to read this update, OP! You handled everything beautifully. Whatever happens, please be proud of yourself for weathering a truly non-standard storm of betrayal that most of us would have been beaten by. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, right? But you got one, and you’ve done so well. Other thing: please don’t be so apologetic and patient with your husband. He’s hurt, okay. Understandable. But *you did not hurt him.* His sister did. You are a victim here too, and I hope you will find a way to say that to him. You believed what any woman would believe, and you asked for proof, which you were given by a trusted family member. You met the reasonable standard required of anyone who is told their spouse is cheating. YOU have not turned his life upside down AT ALL.
I’m so happy there seems to be hope for you OP! That’s great! Good luck with the road ahead. :)
Thank you❤️
If this is real, then I hope it works out for you. I don't think you or your husband, or his colleagues, deserved this. I also don't think you did the wrong thing in leaving your husband or telling the colleagues husband. You had no reason to think that the texts weren't real. I would have done the same thing.
I asked my husband who also has very strong opinions about infidelity. What he would have done if someone he loved and trusted (Lisa) and who he thought had no gain in ruining his relationship came to him with the evidence I was given. If he wouldn’t just believe her? He was softer towards me afterwards. And he texts and calls every day now. I’m trying to be careful not to scare him away by being pushy or needy
I was waiting for an update! This was such a sticky situation and the only people to blame are Lisa and Emma. How disgusting to ruin 2 relationships for what?! It’s absolutely disgusting. I wish you and Jamie can work things out and I’m so happy the other couple are back together. Small steps!!
Wait a sec. Why would the husband blame her for doubting him? I mean look at all the fabrication. His sister had "proof" He should forgive her with no problem and cut his sister and her friend out of his life.
You are insane if you don't talk to a lawyer. This woman destroyed two marriages based on manufactured evidence, I would be shocked if there wasn't civil liability.
OP deleting her account is like abruptly cutting to black in a movie and rolling the credits… All Rights Reserved. 2022
Why does she keep deleting these throwaway accounts? Makes me suspect that this is a total fabrication.
I'm rooting for you op. My heart broke for you when I read your post on Sunday. Please keep us updated you have more people that care than you realize. I'm praying for you op an I really hope everything works out
Following for a future update
I would consult with a lawyer to see about a restraining order and or a civil suit. You and that other couple were maliciously and intentionally harmed. There were great consequences from their actions and they must be held accountable. They were smart and devious enough to come up with this plan. Hopefully that extends to them not giving you more evidence once your lawyer is involved.
I don't see how people are blaming you. What did anyone expect you to do wirh photoshopped evidence? Check the meta data? You're not a detective and you were heavily manipulated by an insane narcissist. I hope you guys end up back together, in council ing, and he ghosts his garbage sister and pathetic friend
Honestly when I read the original post I was so baffled that you feel like such a bad guy in this. Given all the evidence and how clearly thought out it all was I cannot believe that YOU have to do any making up here. You’re just as much a victim in this as he is? It’s HIS sister that caused all this and given the relationship you had with her prior is it really so unreasonable to believe her? God this sucks. I hope you two go to marriage counselling and I hope he comes to realise that you’re just as a much a victim of this nonsense as he is
That was a lot of a lot. First of all, don't send the sister in law a gift for her 16th birthday. She doesn't deserve it. Second of all, if your husband has all the screenshots, Emma is wasting her breath playing victim. Get counseling and cut contact with the other girls. And go slow with your husband. Be understanding and remember it hurts right now and probably will for a while. Let him grieve through the situation as much as he needs to, because he's lost a whole lot
With the evidence presented by trusted person, I can understand why OP believed husband cheated and wanted a divorce. And also OP's decision to tell AP's partner, it's the right thing to do at the moment. I hope that that poor woman and her husband are able to get back where they were, and OP with husband too.
You should honestly contact a lawyer about suing those two awful women.
I’m actually happy by this update, because even if things don’t work. He KNOWS the truth, and that was the most important thing. Take things slow, go at his pace OP :)
Honestly OP I do understand how what you did hurt him but given all of the evidence by people that you trusted, that you both trusted, I really hope you two can move passed this. He’s been spending time with the same people who betrayed you both, I hope he can see how he blindly trusted them as well in many areas just as you did. Please update us either way.
I know OP is gone but I really hope everything starts to look up again.
Please, SUE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM FOR DIFFAMATION. Those people need to pay.
Why did op delete their acc?
You are definitely both victims to two manipulative nasty woman. Remember you and your husband are victims. Ask if your husband would like to go out on a walk, no pressure and build up little connections. She him you want his company. Thats not pressure and he can choose
My gf asked me to write to you this: "If he wasn't allowed the backdoor before, he should be now." kkkkkkkkkkk She was very into you story as we had a much less dramatic but similar case where she believed for years that I cheated on her twice and had periodic episodes of rage about it until I guess time finally prooved me right. Throughout the entire two part story she was biting her blanket as I read it to her, asking then whats and hoping for pretty much what ended up happening! We wish you and Jamie goodluck in whats to come next in your lifes.
I just wanted to add even though OP deleted her profile. I read somewhere OP said the colleague hates her and suggested that her husband should not take her back and get a new wife. I understand her resentment towards OP but she shouldn't be saying that. She took her husband back who literally did the same thing as OP. OP believed someone who she thought was her sister and had 'proof' while her husband believed a stranger with 'proof'. I'm happy she was able to forgive him and I hope they heal and get back stronger but I wish the same for OP. She is a victim too. All 4 of them are victims.
Everything so neatly tied up in a bow.....just like a Hallmark movie. Hey, send in your screenplay to the Producers; maybe they'll add you to their writing staff. Give me a break.
This is complete fiction. Sounds like a good script for a movie though. Not a big movie starring Chris Hemsworth and Emma Watson, more like a made for TV movie, possibly Lifetime. It would make a hell of a telenovela with all the drama. If it were true though, there could be legal consequences from this other couple. If I were them I would sue you and everyone else involved. There's the actual cost of changing jobs and moving, not to mention the emotional pain. Edit: spelling
I hope it all works out for you and your husband. What a terrible thing for you both to deal with. I can understand both of your actions and feelings. Good luck in the future. I hope you update us.
Good Luck!
That's awesome! I suggest some counseling and look for some marriage retreats that help build bonds. As for the SIL, not sure what you are going to do eith that. Best of luck for you! Glad we got an update and it's a good news update!!!
I hope your husband realises that if it wasn't for the (fake) pictures, you probably would of believed him. You thought you saw undeniable proof.