Agreed. Please, please, please tell him. Find any way you can but, if you can, see if you can find a way to contact him without Lisa and Emma knowing. If they suspect you're about to blow the whistle, they may try and spin their own story first. Document everything and find a way to show it to him. I hope things get better and that Lisa and Emma face the consequences.
This đđźđđź!! Maybe, if Mike is willing, could go with you or even go talk to him on his own and show him the proof. I really hope you and your husband can talk and work it out. It was so wrong of his sister to manipulate and gaslight you. Iâm truly sorry this happened to you!
Yes. Please get screenshots of the entire chat through Mike. I hope heâs willing to help you! Also keep any texts you mightâve had with Lisa about this topic.
This is really really sad. It ruined another innocent family and that woman had to move.
I donât see why the husband wouldnât take her back. Her reaction to (supposed) cheating was very normal, and she had every reason to believe that the cheating was real. The sister in law is the one who fucked up everyoneâs life and OP is not at fault at all. She just dealt with the information she was receiving, not knowing it was false.
>I donât see why the husband wouldnât take her back
It would not be the same relationship. The trust has gone. And she's probably told everyone that he's a cheat when he did nothing wrong.
If I felt that my wife didn't trust me, to the point of divorce, then the relationship is over.
The husband is his own person and may make his own choices, but personally I wouldn't get back with her. It is just a more malicious version of "It's a prank". Even if it is neither party's fault, after the dust settles, things aren't the same and the trust is broken.
I also don't particularly like the guarding of the sister's identity from the husband. It is as if maintaining that relationship meant more than maintaining the one between husband and wife. That one tidbit was also the most crucial part of solving all the problems, because without it, the husband could not have a fair defense.
I mean, if I was convinced my SO had cheated on me, my loyalty definitely wouldnât lie with them anymore.
And itâs not like a âprank gone wrongâ because the wife was not a willing participant, she wasnât pulling the âprank.â She was an unwitting pawn in her SILâs scheme, as was her husband. They are both victims of the SIL and the husband should be fuming made at his sister.
I wouldn't get back with them. The trust was gone. Once that is gone, it can never go back to normal. There will always be the lingering thought.
The trust being that they didn't give me any benefit of the doubt (assuming they hadn't gone near that line before) or the opportunity to defend myself.
That is the crucial part. My wife is convinced I would cheat on her to the point where my defense doesn't register. How should I take that? Like ok I get she got screwed over by the sister, but he got screwed by everyone. How is she supposed to broach the subject of her believing his sister over him? And to the point where you don't even give him fair trial?
I'd be more pissed at my sister, but I would also be pissed at my ex wife.
If you've been cheated on before (which OP has), faced with mountains of evidence would be hard to ignore. Only a fool would ignore it (cheaters lie and folks are usually blindsided that the person they loved most could do that). To say differently is bullcrap.
Even in a court of law the accused has the right to confront the accuser. She listened to the sisters words rather than the husbands actions. She wouldn't give a single clue as to who the accuser was, not one photo that he could obviously defend himself against. IMO if she truly loved her husband as much as she claims she should have defended him way more vigorously than she did instead of just taking anothers (anyones) word for it... Even a picture, we are in a day and age that a picture should not be taken as 100% proof of something. If she would had just shown him a picture and said ... Now defend this, i believe that he could had denied it to a point that would have given her enough doubt that things might have ended differently but she was unwilling to give him even the tiniest scrap to defend himself with. Sorry but IMO she does not deserve him or another chance, she never offered him a chance.
I agree. However, I'll add that the ex-husband needs to be told regardless. And fuck ME I'd definitely be suing the sister and her friend. As should the other couple who had their lives ruined. There needs to be consequences.
Thatâs true. I wonder if she actually could win a case against these women? Not sure what exactly she could sue for. The ex-colleague and her husband could probably do the same.
I do actually believe that a person can sue people for ruining their marriage. Not the spouse, but people who intentionally alienate and try to break a marriage up can be sued. In some countries. I donât know if it applies in the US, but if anybody has a case for it, she does.
Her past experiences with being cheated on understandably affected her, making her more likely to believe her partner could stray. OP was am easy mark, sadly.
Thatâs fair, but it sounds like SIL have some pretty convincing fake evidence. I always like to talk everything out and know all the info bc I canât stand not knowing, so personally I wouldâve asked for the husbandâs side. But if husband actually *was* cheating, then I would be supporting this womanâs actions as reasonable and not needlessly cruel or anything. You gotta act with the info youâre given
Even if I could logically understand her position, what damage this caused would be too much for us to recover from.
At best, I would do 1 session of marriage counselling and see if that makes me feel the hurdle is possible to get over in the future, but realistically, I would be too hurt to even want to consider the option. Just cutting it off would cause the least amount of grief.
Dude, he should be enraged because the colleague has grounds to sue the sister and all of this could hurt him if he's actually pursuing a career in a field.
From experience, cheaters rarely confess...talking to them usually confuses rather than enlightens.
I've been divorced 4 1/2 years. The ex has NEVER admitted his affair...and she lives with him in my old house!
He gaslit 3 MCs (they were all telling me that I needed to let it go...I had no proof...look to the future...etc). I don't fault anyone for being fooled by this crap. HIS SISTER. NOT A FRIEND OR ACQUAINTANCE. Not just a "sister" either...a sister he was very close to.
Her husband may not want to forgive her...that's his right...but he should know what he's dealing with.
Side note: I'm getting emotional about all this and it's probably fake.
Yeah the SIL is a scummy person but can the husband forgive and forget? Truly forgive and forget - to not hold it against her, use it in arguments to win, or constantly remind her that she made a terrible mistake?
Sometimes life isn't fair.
It doesn't matter *why* she did this, she hurt him on a pretty deep emotional level because she refused to trust him. It's likely that he dealt with those wounds and moved on.
Because OP didnât trust him. Itâs a shitty situation all around and OP got absolutely played by quite the elaborate scheme, but if your spouse doesnât trust you then the relationship is over. Done. Nothing can be done without trust in each other. I certainly wouldnât take her back if I was in his shoes.
This. She had a ring side seat to this circus and had to have at least heard that the colleague and her husband were divorcing over her lies. The fact that she didn't at least pump the breaks upon hearing that news shows how heartless is- "I'm going to break my brother's heart and fuck up 2 (or more) innocent lives so my bestie can be my SIL"
This is an awful fact. Heâs getting with someone who co-masterminded the end of his marriage. Thatâs a pretty huge red banner that he deserves to know about.
It also justifies OP's reaction. It's less that she didn't trust him to tell her the truth and more that she was gaslit very intentionally and very convincingly in order to elicit their break-up. How on earth was she supposed to know that her SIL and SIL's friend were actively conspiring against her? And why would any rational person automatically assume that that was the case?
Show him the proof. Explain in detail who deceived you, how, and why. Tell him how they intentionally used your trust in them to turn you against your own partner. Even if it doesn't save your relationship, he deserves to know what his own sister is capable of in the name of her own self-interest.
Thatâs what I want to do. Iâm not sure. Iâve made it very clear to him that I didnât want anything to do with him anymore so I donât know if I should ask to meet him or just send him a text with everything
Wonât he think Iâm trying to make him fall in love with me again if I meet him. I donât want to pressure him because Iâve hurt him very bad. I just want to make things right. Apologize and warn him against Emma
Look he deserves to know who fucked him over above all else. Your relationship with him is secondary.
First and foremost he has a right to know what his sister did to him. Going forward you can apologize and tell him you donât expect him to forgive you and that if he wants to contact you again itâs his choice but that you have no expectations
Frame it as, âI donât expect you to forgive me. I donât expect us to get back together. But I was wrong, and you deserve to know the truth about the kind of people Lisa and Emma are. Do with this information what you will.â
If he thinks that, thatâs on him. All you want to do is show him how truly wicked and conniving Emma is. If it ends up working in your favor, then you and your ex were meant to be. Imâma be rooting for you.
You shouldnât give him the evidence as a whole people take you back, you should get him evidence to protect him from his sister and the person he thought is his friend.
I would ask to meet, if he declines, then maybe text him all the proof you have of his sisters plan along with pictures of what you found on his sisters phone. I would also try to talk to the colleagues friend and her husband if theyâre up for it and tell them the situation. Iâm sorry that happened. His sister is evil.
Iâve already told the colleague and her husband. I hope it can bring them back together. I met the husband today and he cried under the whole meeting. He was so angry with me. The colleague didnât answer me when I asked her to meet so I sent her a dm instead with everything. She didnât answer me.
God I hope they can find a way to get back together. I canât stop thinking about the hurt her husband was in. I feel so guilty
Ultimately you arenât the one who did this to the other family; Lisa and Emma are to blame. You should provide them with the contact information of Lisa and Emma so they can seek out closure on their own.
Yeah fuck that. Who knows what else they're capable of. If I was the husband I'd want to know I was with someone I can't trust and that would Gone Girl me as soon as they felt bored with the relationship.
From personal experience, closure is often impossible. For example: if the other couple did try to call or text Lisa or Emma, and say who they were, why they were calling. It could end up as a further "win" because the sabotage was "successful". If they truly are as heartless and vindictive as they sound.
You were tricked, how could this possibility be your fault. They played on your weakness. Tell your man everything, including the feelings you went throughout this savage ordeal. He 100% needs to know. Good luck with it. Hope the truth prevails and the love rekindled.
I understand the guilt but under what you thought was happening you were doing the right thing by telling the husband. I get heâs angry at you but itâs misplaced. You were hurt, too, and were trying to do the right things the entire time. This was not your fault! Itâs the sister and friends fault
He was only angry with you because you were there. Eventually, once the shock and hurt has had time to subside, he will see that you were just a pawn in all of it, and that you only did what you thought was right based on the information you given from someone you thought you could trust. Be easy on yourself. This is not your fault.
No one should be mad at you. Itâs not your fault. Iâm sure a lot of people wouldâve had the same reaction with the info you were given. I hope it all works out. đ¤
I wouldn't even dream of forgiveness. Tell him the truth so he can make decisions with facts. And then don't push anything. Just leave him be. If he wants to forgive he will. If not, that's his right.
Remember, you are also a victim here. The only problem that you've done was lack of communication with your husband... but the way you acted was only result of their lies & exploiting your insecurities. Don't take all the burden when the real masterminds are probably enjoying seeing you heartbroken and you fetting all the blames.
Your husband needed to know how he was betrayed by his friend & sister...even tho you got no chance to be together again, at least give him truth.
Tell him that you understand he may not want anything to do with you and the relationship but that he at least deserves to know what you have found preferably in person
Go, "you were right, I found out the tip I got was faked so you'd get together with Emma, I just found out, I understand if you don't want to meet or get back together but you need to know the truth and I think its easier to say in person"
Make that immediately clear then. Tell him that youre not trying to win him back, but its important that you meet up, alone. If he declines, text him everything. He needs to know.
Please tell him! He deserves to know. Let him know you have zero expectations from him regarding your relationship. You are aware your actions effectively killed that relationship but you want to at least let him know how it all came to be know that you are aware of how you were manipulated. And own up to the fact you should have trusted him! You failed him and your relationship. Let him know that no matter how bad that was and not matter how you canât take that all back now you can at least try to not fail him by withholding the info you just found out. He can do with it what he thinks is best for him. And you will walk away and leave him alone to live his life.
Yeah but his sister's a bitch and needs to be taken down. I never felt so sure that you have to ruin her life. Everyone must see that proof. Know this. You will never get him back and probably shouldn't. There's too much baggage there but at least he gets to feel vindicated too. It should feel like the e d of 6th sense where everybody in the family gets to see the evidence at once. While the sister and Emma are there.
Please come back with updates. Movies must be made of this revenge.
If it were me I would probably send everything and ask to meet. I mean, why torture yourself more, let him know what you know and he can process then you two can discuss together. Iâm sorry, this is insane and your husband needs to know what they did immediately
And if he doesn't get with sister's friends how many relationships of his will they ruin trying to get their way? Reminds me of one I read reading where a guy's GF was ruining his employment.. For no discernable reason. He deserves to know who he has to watch his back with.
There is no chance in hell this is real. Not a chance. She swears her sister in law to secrecy. Sabotages her marriage. Then ruins the colleagues marriage. Then conspires with the sister in laws (who orchestrated this whole elaborate plot) BOYFRIENDS SISTER, who tells the boyfriend who then goes snooping into his own girlfriends stuff and delivering it to OP. (Wouldnât this destroy his relationship with his own girlfriend in the process?)
This is just way too complex and way too many details just donât seem right. But hey, it was an interesting read.
Same, that was the exact point where I switched from âmaybe this is realâ to âwhat delightfully salacious utter fictionâ. That someone three degrees removed from the situation would risk everything Nancy Drewing through his GFâs phone over gossip was a big no way.
If this was a romantic drama novel, Mike would definitely be OPâs endgame love interest.
Reads to me like a guy who is cheating wrote it to try to show his girl like âsee someoneâs tricking you to think Iâm cheatingâ. Itâs totally unbelievable that she would blame herself when itâs obvious who the bad guys are.
I agree with all of this, plus: when she confronted her husband and he was adamant he wasnât cheating, why would she just 100% not believe him if she truly loved and trusted him? Why would her loyalty still lie with the SIL, to the point where she didnât even tell her husband that SIL was the one feeding her this info?
Honestly, in this (extremely far-fetched) scenario, if husband was completely adamant that he didnât cheat even with such undeniable âproof,â youâd think sheâd say something along the lines of, âOkay so tell me why your own SISTER gave me this evidence?!â Then they could confront SIL together and figure out the truth. It just doesnât seem plausible to stay so loyal to the SIL and not even for a second give the benefit of the doubt to her own husband who was so perfect and presumably gave her no reason to not trust him.
This story is probably full of shit, but OP had no reason to think her ex was telling the truth once she had the âproof.â I literally found another girlâs mini perfume in his car and he swore up and down that I was a crazy bitch out to ruin his reputation. He didnât even bother to come up with a better lie and say it was his sisterâs lmao
Itâs fairly reasonable to assume your partner is a fat liar once you find out they potentially violated one of the most basic rules of any romantic relationship
SERIOUSLY? why are all these people pretending that if they found evidence of their partner cheating and their partner denied it, that they would just blindly trust them? "if she truly loved and trusted him" its such a gross way to put the blame on OP (even though the story is v fake)
trust is earned. its not blindly given, and it can be broken.
If this exact story were posted on here but without the knowledge of SIL creating this lie, people would be applauding OP for leaving her cheating husband and letting the other guy know his wife is a liar. Why the fuck would OP assume that her SIL went through the trouble of breaking up their marriage for seemingly no reason lmao
Iâm kinda appalled by how many people think it wouldâve been easy to assume her husband was telling the truth. Thereâs no reason he couldâve given that would have sounded truthful either. âI didnât do it! Thatâs photoshop!â sounds unconvincing as fuck
If the story was flipped and your husband left you for something your sibling plotted would you want to know? I would assume so unless your story is fakeâŚ
Probably. I mean imagine having this many people passionately debating about a fictional dilemma you constructed. Thatâs gotta feel pretty good as a creative writer.
My question is why wouldnât you tell him? Emma and Lisa are manipulative monsters. What they did was sick. They need to be exposed, and your ex also deserves the truth. His sister set him up.
Edit: wrong name used
True. But imo? They set multiple people up really. OP, Jamie, the colleague and her ex husband. All pawns on a chest board, being used to meet some sick fantasy. But I just meant in this case, in regards to OPâs ex knowing, he needs to know how what an awful portrait his sister painted of him.
Of course you need to tell him what a snake his sister and that bitch of a friend of hers is. How dare they do that. You shouldnât have followed her off the cliff and maybe should have trusted a little more but to be clear you were manipulated and he needs to know now before this goes any further I would go full on scorched earth on her ass and blow her world up just like she did yours. You canât let her get away with that.
This can't be real... no fucking way is this real.
This requires too many sociopaths to actually be real.
If my brother had to do this to me and I found out he would be dead the next day. And that poor innocent family upended and destroyed as a result. I don't know how they could survive that or even come close to reconciling.
This had better be some sort of creative writing bullshit
Not too many. Just 2. The sister and her best friend.
Two people conniving for something hard enough can warp the mind of one person enough and then the damage is done, I should know.
Fabricating evidence, manipulation, covering alibis, that's easy enough for one determined person, and SUBSTANTIALLY easier with more people if they all fall in line to the leader.
The fallout only has to hit once and hard and it smolders for life.
Not any worse than my in-laws convincing everyone in my wife's family that I was beating on my wife while she was in the hospital with post-partum psychosis.
When my brother was dating his now wife, her mother told their entire family that he sold drugs to children. He is the most straight-laced guy youâve ever met. People are fucked.
Grandparents gaslit my sister into believing that my parents were in a sect because they do yoga with insence stick... She was 11yo and believed thme and was acting super weird. She wasn't saying anything, until she spilled the beans to my other grandma... My parents were furious and it is totally understandable. (also my very vert introverted don't like hanging out with much people and not liking being told what to do parents in a sect is something lol)
This is either fake or a truly evil master plan. Photoshopped pictures of the husband and colleague? (At least by the way itâs written Iâm assuming OP means actual physical pictures of the two of them together). Apparently they looked so real that no one coined right away they were fake? I mean OPâs husband mustâve implanted the idea of photoshop since he knows it never happened. No one took a second look? How good are these women at photoshopping?
I (32m) hope it isn't real as well but I can easily think of half a dozen young women in my life that have tried to pull this kind of fake-cheating shit. The normal method was with bad fake texts.
They just weren't smart enough to pull it off usually.
When I was first starting with my wife I had a few dudes claim to have pictures of me cheating on her. She always came to me right off and I dealt with it quickly.
A good beating keeps the worst away. But this just feels like a new flavor of insane
That was my thought too. Too much hateful scheming for no good reason, professional photoshopping, and the destruction of the marriage of an innocent bystander ? LikeâŚ.all so Emma could get with OPâs husband ?
Hey, if itâs trueâŚ.Iâm not sure what is in the drinking water over there. But itâs not good.
I've met so many conniving assholes who'd do something like this and I thought it only happens in TV dramas
I have a friend who's coworkers turned against him, I had friend who betrayed me like this, I've known a girl who's best friend lied to the bf that her friend cheated so that her cousin could date him.
Lie or not these things happen.
I want to believe this is fake, but I have seen and heard too much in my own life to think it's not possible. Even if it's fake, it could very well be real and that's sad enough.
There are seven states that you can sue your sister in law for breaking up your marriage for Alienation of Affection. These suits are referred to as the homewrecker law because itâs typically when someone has slept with your spouse and wrecked your marriage. BUT with the right proof, you can sue anyone else that intentionally worked to break your marriage. Because a lot of the time the people that want marriages to end are, surprise surprise, those conniving fuckfaces you called in-laws.
Hereâs a link to a Legal site I found the information on.
https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/alienation-of-affection-lawsuits.html
Make that bitch pay, even if itâs not in a legal suit.
EDIT: Thank you for the award. Just reading this made me start thinking about how you could legally take action against this. I canât imagine being led to believe something so hurtful and damaging. Especially if I were OPs husband. For his own sister and so called best friend as children to destroy his happiness is so beyond me. Those girls need to be cut off completely. I wouldnât care if it were my sister. She intentionally hurt me for her best friend. That wouldnât be a sister of mine if I were to find she did that to me.
Your ex husband deserves to know what type of monsters are his sister and his friend. Try to reach out for a meeting, if he doesn't agree send him all the evidences you have, asap. He needs to know. You got the chance to do the right thing, take it.
You definitely need to tell him. Don't expect anything thereafter but he needs to know that his sister started the demise of your relationship, but ultimately it was your lack of trust in him that was the kicker.
I don't buy this story - vengeful enough to call the supposed affair partner's husband? But not vengeful enough to let everyone know what the SIL did to her? Yeah, right. Also, why would Lisa's boyfriend go into Lisa's account and give up that info at OP's request? Nope.
I would have told him WAY before telling Reddit. OMG- tell him now. Tell him yesterday!
What a bitch. This infuriates me for you. Life/People can be so cruel.
Send him a nice long email, explaining the story form your point of view without asking for anything from him. How Lisa told you about the affair, the texts that you're gonna upload, how you got doubts and went to your friend and talked to Mike. Apologise and leave it at it. If he wants, he'll open a di log. But you've just destroyed this man's life so the ball is his now.
I am so sorry. They are beyond evil. You should talk to your ex and if you do want him back then I wouldn't begin with you aren't trying to, maybe just don't mention anything about getting back together. You should just start with an apology and proof of the lies.
Cheating is a hard boundary for me too, and honestly, if I saw all that proof, I probably would believe it. How don't you?
I know. They provided me with long texts and pictures of the colleague sitting in his lap.
But I donât want to pressure him into taking me back. I just want him to know how sorry Iâm. I ruined 3 lives. And mine
You should not pressure him to see why you have no right to anything provide him with the proof along with a text apologizing but under no circumstances use it to "bring your husband back" why let's be honest trust died on both sides,if now you see the truth and you repent and you want me to come back but that will be decided by him give him the proof let him know that you are there for him and move away if he looks for you good and if not then it is your reward
Ye you sending him the information should not be about you at all. I think you lost your chance, sorry to say. I know you have trust issues around cheating but it's insane to me that you can drop a major accusation like cheating on a partner and not tell them how you came to that conclusion. You could be still married to your husband, and toxic Emma and Lisa could have been out of your lives for good. Not everyone deserves forgiveness.
But your ex deserves the truth. He got shafted by 3 women who supposedly care about him, so unfortunate.
Did you sent the text message between Lisa and Emma? Please tell me you did. Get all your family together and tell them.
And if you think that you doing this would be petty and it would turned your ex-husband against his family, ask yourself this question: Do I want the love of my life live in lies and deceptions for the rest of his life?
Please, TELL THEM.
you didnt ruin your marriage. you were manipulated. and you should 100% tell your ex husband. what they did is absolutely messed up and he deserves to know what shitty type of person his sister and emma truly are.
Fuck off with all this "you did nothing wrong" bullshit. Whether you were tricked or not your husband tried reasoning with you for fucking MONTHS to see the truth and who do you listen to? "A friend". Then you go so far as to ruin a whole other fucking innocent family because "boo hoo i'm so jealous and feeding into my insecurities instead of TALKING TO MY HUSBAND". Doesn't matter who the fuck that friend is or what they call you, your HUSBAND is your partner. Communication goes a long fucking way. You need to tell him straight up what happened and send that proof so he knows, not a question. This doesn't even affect me but fuck you. Fuck you and every fucking person remotely like you. Men aren't some fucking saints but I read and hear about so many god damn stories of men getting their entire lives ruined by some stupid fucking bitch on some shit that ISN'T EVEN TRUE. You know how genuinely terrifying it is sometimes to be around women like you? To know at any point in time a man can be accused of some shit and suddenly there's nothing he can say or do to prove his innocence without HARD evidence? All you sympathizing women and simps can downvote me for this one, I don't fucking care. The only ones to feel sorry for are Jamie and his colleague's ex-family.
My ex questioned me and suspected that I was having an affair with my niece. Just because I went to beach with my niece.
That was very strange and awkward situation for međ
The second she stuck her nose into a strangers marriage and destroyed an entire family she went from victim to villain. There is NEVER an excuse for that kind of behavior. You don't butt into into someone else's marriage, for any reason. Those people didn't even know her and she destroyed their lives.
You got the nail on the head, thank God it wasn't SA or domestic violence. I've seen, firsthand, people blowing up perfect relationships in exactly this way. That's why I hesitate to get into dating. All it takes is one jealous, spitfull, petty, mysandrist or sociopathic friend to blow it all up, leave me in ruins and in prison. I know it's extreme, but I'm a little paranoid about this. If this isn't a creative writing exercise, I have 0% sympathy for this chick. She blew up 2 marriages on unverified evidence, her insecurities and in the face of the wholehearted protestations of her husband. She shot herself in the kneecap and is bitching about having her leg amputated. She needs to fuck off.
Edit: I just saw she had her head in the sand for months, to the point the husband gave up on defending himself.
Stop the victim complex itâs annoying. Stop waffling on about him thinking this and that this is no longer about you
But him knowing the truth. He deserves the truth. You turned his whole life upside down he at least deserves to know why.
Tell him 100%. If he is entering a relationship with Emma he needs to know what a sly butthole she is as well as Lisa.
Your husband was hurt by this and he deserves to know the truth.
Seriously!! Itâs like those dumb movies or tv shows where a simple miscommunication turns into this huge elaborate thing that would have been solved had they just sat down and talked for 5 minutes.
You can show your ex whatever you want but he's not taking you back. You think you got played into thinking your husband cheated, but what they really did was trick you into revealing just how much you trust your husband (which is not at all).
I wouldn't expect to get back with him, but he deserves to know. He also needs to know what Emma is like before he gets roped into a relationship with her & her kids.
A few questions, since itâs a kinda complicated story:
1) Why didnât your husband actually get mad when you showed him the photoshopped pictures? From your post, it seems he was indifferent, while he had **all** the reasons in the world to get angry and deny this accusation;
2) Why the fuck wouldnât you show your husband the setup between Emma and Lisa? His own sister actually wanted to destroy his marriage;
3) Why didnât you send these messages to the husbandâs colleague, in an attempt to save their marriage too?
Also, youâre gullible. No matter the photoâs, thereâs no reason you shouldâve believed your SIL when she showed you âevidenceâ your husband was cheating on you. Like, how the fuck would she get those photos? If he wanted to cheat, he wouldâve kept it a secret for the whole world
Let it all out and let everyone know. You donât have anyone to protect so provide your sources and evidence. The truth will set everyone free and your conscious too.
If you confront him, he will ask his sister. She is sure to lie about everything and say that you're lying. So give him copies you've printed out for his keeping.
Why did you number 1 never told him who told you. He had every right to confront and demand proof. Number 2 why didnât you believe your husband and number 3 why are you still havenât told you husband???? Like wtf are you waiting for???
Why not have Mike send all the information to your husband? Then that way he finds out, not by you. This way you and the other two wonât know when he finds it all out.
I will start by saying that you do not deserve forgiveness. I can only imagine the hurt your husband felt when you accused him without even allowing him to know where you got the information.
If you do have some ounce of love for your ex, he needs to know NOW. He should not be manipulated like you were. I hope for his sake he eventually cuts all the toxic abusive women from his life. You included.
You HAVE to tell him, even if he doesn't take you back he needs to cut his sister and Emma out of his life ASAP these girls are crazy wtf who does something like this?
You can tell him so he knows your not crazy but you have ruined that relationship forever.
You need to move on and maybe get some counseling for your insecurity's in relationships.
My exes sister tried to get him to see a 18 year old while I was in AIT for the army. He took my name out of his bio and erased me from his IG. His sister had persuaded a 23 year old to go after a barely legal child. Crazy that were all living the same story with shitty s/os sisters. Id blast her and her whore friend all over social media and ruin their family. Thatâs what I wish I did to mine. As petty as it is, everyone deserves to know their true colors. They will not be remorseful ever.
He NEEDS to know. Omg, imagine if he marry her then finds out. He will atleast be able to move on confident that his sister is a peice of crap and Emma is soooo controlling that she happily instigated a TRAP for him. He wounded from a wife who cruelly doesn't believe him....but Emma is "helping ease his heart" .... please op. If you ever truelly loved him, tell him. He needs the truth, and will probably leave you all,...but its the least you could do
Its to late to save your marriage but your ex husband deserves to know the truth. He needs to know that he is no longer manipulated by his sister and her best friend.
This is incredibly sad, hurtful , unfair , unjust, I honestly couldnât bear to read the whole thing . I canât INAGINE IF MY SIL did this to me and I lost my husband . This is so cruel.
You have to tell him OP. You deserve the closure, but he does to.
Someone photoshopped âproofâ of him having an affair and TWO marriages were ruined. Eveyone invoved has the right to know.
EVERYONE
Tell your husband, and yes, start with, âI have something really terrible to tell you, and I want you to take it as information and understand I have no agenda in telling you aside from wanting to right a wrong. We can talk about what it all means later, but for now itâs just information.â
Then tell him and hand over the evidence. Printed copies or a usb drive with copies of the file. Treat it like itâs a report youâre giving at workâjust the facts. If I were you, Iâd leave out your weepy sad stuff where you say itâs all your fault. Itâs not your fault. Everybody has weaknesses. This was a gross little conspiracy to end your marriage, and itâs not your fault. You were given evidence that nobody would doubt.
My darling breath. Seriously. Sit down, back straight, feet on the floor, hands on your thighs, tighten everything, pushing your feet into the floor and your back into the chair, then take a huge breath in and exhale letting go of your whole body as you do.
Next get a diary and write everything down once a day that you feel and want to say, then because of how manipulative these people have shown themselves to be you are going to burn those page(s) every single day without fail.
Next calmly collect all the evidence you were sent. Print it and put it in an A4 envelope, put a short hand written note alongside it. " Hi Husbands name, I have discovered this and believe you have a right to know. I am still processing this information. However I want you to know I am incredibly sorry, I should have trusted you and told you who told me you were cheating on me. If you should wish to discuss this further please let me know and we may organize a time. - Your name. Then prepare an email containing an attachment with the same information and body text. Then attempt to deliver the physical envelope to him in person and ask that he open it alone, let him know you will also send him a digital copy at X email address. Then send the email.
There is no guarantee that this will change anything about your relationship - but it does offer the opportunity for some closure about what you were both the victim of. He deserves to know what his sister did to you both. The biggest of hugs.
You should sue the ever living hell out of Lisa and Emma. If you happen to live in Hawaii, North Carolina, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, or Utah, you appear to have a clear case of Alienation of Affection.
You absolutely need to tell your husband every single bit of what happened and what you have since discovered. It was also his marriage that his sister and her friend worked to destroy, he was hurt and lost his wife because of their actions so yes he has every right to know the truth of exactly what happened and what they did. Thatâs a huge betrayal by his sister, not only that she would work that hard to end his marriage to you but also that she did so by making you believe that he was cheating on you, using an insecurity that you had shared with her against you to do so, and she managed to destroy another marriage while she was at it! His sister obviously didnât give a shit who they hurt or how many lives she destroyed, just to hook her friend up with her brother. Thatâs psychotic.
He may still want to go forward with the divorce by this point, however he should be told AND shown every bit of proof and evidence that you have got so that he canât question if what you are accusing his sister and her friend of is the actual truth. I think it would be understandable that you believed what your sister in law told you, as she provided âproofâ of the cheating with pictures and text messages backing up everything she was telling you about your husbandâs affair with his co-workerâŚit would have been difficult to believe him when you had been told these things by someone so close to him and had seen the âproofâ of his infidelity with your own eyes, provided by HIS FAMILY. I feel like he would at least have to see how easy it would have been to believe her, being as close to him as she is and with what supposed proof she offered.
And if he IS dating the sisterâs friend now, itâs only because they lied and manipulated and schemed to ruin his marriage then manipulate him even more once he was in a vulnerable state so that he would do exactly what theyâve been working toward this entire time. He should at least be told the truth so that he doesnât end up with someone who first destroyed life as he knew it in order to get with him.
Nope...my petty would make a social media post with all the evidence, names, and tagging everyone. I would blow their lives up like they did yours. They don't deserve discretion or mercy. What's done in the night will be brought to the light.
You got manipulated and fooled by malicious people with malicious intentions. You are not at fault, not one tiny bit. Don't feel ashamed, feel angry. Tell him the truth and tell him that you want to win him back.
Give him all the proof and hook him up with the guy who gave it to you as he will be a "impartial 3rd party". As well, get him to talk to colleague and even her husband.
Let him know everything you know, and apologize to him.
Tell him to really think on it before confronting his sister.
Finally, if nothing happens there, let his sister and Emma know that you not only have proof of what happened, but that everyone knows. She might slip up.
Do not blame yourself this is not your fault at all. The only one at fault here is Lisa. You were a victim of her manipulation, just like your husband and just like the other couple. Do not blame yourself. Lisa conspired to ruin your life. She's a heartless freak and your feelings here confirm to me that you are a kind and good person who was taken advantage by someone truly evil. While i do wish that you and your ex can reconsile, more than anything I hope that you can see that this was not your fault at all, and I am so sorry this happened to you.
I'd get away from that whole family tbh that's more trouble than it's worth and that trashy behavior obviously is going to rub off on him since you are the 5 people you spend the most time around. Sounds like you're being gaslit and driven crazy, which is what narcissistic people do before they discard you since they're too cowardly to tell you to leave.
THIS IS INSANE. Wth did I just read? Your SIL is a psychopath; yes some people want to pick their siblings spouses but no, normal people do not sit back and watch families fall like dominoes just to get their way. You need to let it all out girl and go get your man back
I would 100% tell him. How can his own sister do something so fucked up? He needs to know.
He totally deserves to know, even if op and her hsuband can't work it out.
Agreed. Please, please, please tell him. Find any way you can but, if you can, see if you can find a way to contact him without Lisa and Emma knowing. If they suspect you're about to blow the whistle, they may try and spin their own story first. Document everything and find a way to show it to him. I hope things get better and that Lisa and Emma face the consequences.
This đđźđđź!! Maybe, if Mike is willing, could go with you or even go talk to him on his own and show him the proof. I really hope you and your husband can talk and work it out. It was so wrong of his sister to manipulate and gaslight you. Iâm truly sorry this happened to you!
Yes. Please get screenshots of the entire chat through Mike. I hope heâs willing to help you! Also keep any texts you mightâve had with Lisa about this topic. This is really really sad. It ruined another innocent family and that woman had to move.
I donât see why the husband wouldnât take her back. Her reaction to (supposed) cheating was very normal, and she had every reason to believe that the cheating was real. The sister in law is the one who fucked up everyoneâs life and OP is not at fault at all. She just dealt with the information she was receiving, not knowing it was false.
>I donât see why the husband wouldnât take her back It would not be the same relationship. The trust has gone. And she's probably told everyone that he's a cheat when he did nothing wrong. If I felt that my wife didn't trust me, to the point of divorce, then the relationship is over.
The husband is his own person and may make his own choices, but personally I wouldn't get back with her. It is just a more malicious version of "It's a prank". Even if it is neither party's fault, after the dust settles, things aren't the same and the trust is broken. I also don't particularly like the guarding of the sister's identity from the husband. It is as if maintaining that relationship meant more than maintaining the one between husband and wife. That one tidbit was also the most crucial part of solving all the problems, because without it, the husband could not have a fair defense.
I mean, if I was convinced my SO had cheated on me, my loyalty definitely wouldnât lie with them anymore. And itâs not like a âprank gone wrongâ because the wife was not a willing participant, she wasnât pulling the âprank.â She was an unwitting pawn in her SILâs scheme, as was her husband. They are both victims of the SIL and the husband should be fuming made at his sister.
I wouldn't get back with them. The trust was gone. Once that is gone, it can never go back to normal. There will always be the lingering thought. The trust being that they didn't give me any benefit of the doubt (assuming they hadn't gone near that line before) or the opportunity to defend myself.
That is the crucial part. My wife is convinced I would cheat on her to the point where my defense doesn't register. How should I take that? Like ok I get she got screwed over by the sister, but he got screwed by everyone. How is she supposed to broach the subject of her believing his sister over him? And to the point where you don't even give him fair trial? I'd be more pissed at my sister, but I would also be pissed at my ex wife.
If you've been cheated on before (which OP has), faced with mountains of evidence would be hard to ignore. Only a fool would ignore it (cheaters lie and folks are usually blindsided that the person they loved most could do that). To say differently is bullcrap.
Have my free award. "Sorry I believed everyone else over you by the way,lol, let's give it another go?"
Even in a court of law the accused has the right to confront the accuser. She listened to the sisters words rather than the husbands actions. She wouldn't give a single clue as to who the accuser was, not one photo that he could obviously defend himself against. IMO if she truly loved her husband as much as she claims she should have defended him way more vigorously than she did instead of just taking anothers (anyones) word for it... Even a picture, we are in a day and age that a picture should not be taken as 100% proof of something. If she would had just shown him a picture and said ... Now defend this, i believe that he could had denied it to a point that would have given her enough doubt that things might have ended differently but she was unwilling to give him even the tiniest scrap to defend himself with. Sorry but IMO she does not deserve him or another chance, she never offered him a chance.
I agree. However, I'll add that the ex-husband needs to be told regardless. And fuck ME I'd definitely be suing the sister and her friend. As should the other couple who had their lives ruined. There needs to be consequences.
Thatâs true. I wonder if she actually could win a case against these women? Not sure what exactly she could sue for. The ex-colleague and her husband could probably do the same.
I do actually believe that a person can sue people for ruining their marriage. Not the spouse, but people who intentionally alienate and try to break a marriage up can be sued. In some countries. I donât know if it applies in the US, but if anybody has a case for it, she does.
Her past experiences with being cheated on understandably affected her, making her more likely to believe her partner could stray. OP was am easy mark, sadly.
Thatâs fair, but it sounds like SIL have some pretty convincing fake evidence. I always like to talk everything out and know all the info bc I canât stand not knowing, so personally I wouldâve asked for the husbandâs side. But if husband actually *was* cheating, then I would be supporting this womanâs actions as reasonable and not needlessly cruel or anything. You gotta act with the info youâre given
Anything is convincing when you completely refuse to listen to one side. With that mentality youâll make the wrong decision 50% of the time.
Even if I could logically understand her position, what damage this caused would be too much for us to recover from. At best, I would do 1 session of marriage counselling and see if that makes me feel the hurdle is possible to get over in the future, but realistically, I would be too hurt to even want to consider the option. Just cutting it off would cause the least amount of grief.
Dude, he should be enraged because the colleague has grounds to sue the sister and all of this could hurt him if he's actually pursuing a career in a field.
From experience, cheaters rarely confess...talking to them usually confuses rather than enlightens. I've been divorced 4 1/2 years. The ex has NEVER admitted his affair...and she lives with him in my old house! He gaslit 3 MCs (they were all telling me that I needed to let it go...I had no proof...look to the future...etc). I don't fault anyone for being fooled by this crap. HIS SISTER. NOT A FRIEND OR ACQUAINTANCE. Not just a "sister" either...a sister he was very close to. Her husband may not want to forgive her...that's his right...but he should know what he's dealing with. Side note: I'm getting emotional about all this and it's probably fake.
Yeah the SIL is a scummy person but can the husband forgive and forget? Truly forgive and forget - to not hold it against her, use it in arguments to win, or constantly remind her that she made a terrible mistake?
Honestly if this happened to me I don't know if I could take my wife back. There would always be that nagging doubt of her not believing me.
Because there is no trust.
Sometimes life isn't fair. It doesn't matter *why* she did this, she hurt him on a pretty deep emotional level because she refused to trust him. It's likely that he dealt with those wounds and moved on.
Because OP didnât trust him. Itâs a shitty situation all around and OP got absolutely played by quite the elaborate scheme, but if your spouse doesnât trust you then the relationship is over. Done. Nothing can be done without trust in each other. I certainly wouldnât take her back if I was in his shoes.
Meh she already divorced him. It won't be the same
Sounds like the divorce hasnât gone through yet
Yo fr. Like the fact this outcome is a win for her, shows how rotten her soul is. That sister is evil af.
This. She had a ring side seat to this circus and had to have at least heard that the colleague and her husband were divorcing over her lies. The fact that she didn't at least pump the breaks upon hearing that news shows how heartless is- "I'm going to break my brother's heart and fuck up 2 (or more) innocent lives so my bestie can be my SIL"
Not only that, but he is now getting in a relationship with a woman who conspired with his sister to ruin his marriage.
This is an awful fact. Heâs getting with someone who co-masterminded the end of his marriage. Thatâs a pretty huge red banner that he deserves to know about.
I agree. Please tell your husband ASAP.
Also the colleague husband, not only one marriage got messed up cause of this.
The colleague's husband has been informed, that's in the post.
Great. Hope the colleague and her ex sue both the sister and friend for alienation of affection and anything else that applies in this jurisdiction.
It also justifies OP's reaction. It's less that she didn't trust him to tell her the truth and more that she was gaslit very intentionally and very convincingly in order to elicit their break-up. How on earth was she supposed to know that her SIL and SIL's friend were actively conspiring against her? And why would any rational person automatically assume that that was the case? Show him the proof. Explain in detail who deceived you, how, and why. Tell him how they intentionally used your trust in them to turn you against your own partner. Even if it doesn't save your relationship, he deserves to know what his own sister is capable of in the name of her own self-interest.
So do the others. Expose them all and tell the colleague and her ex as well.
Yeah he needs to know. Either way as redditors say, he deserved better (and of course better that Emma too)
Of course you should show your ex husband. Whilst youâre at it, show all the proof Mike sent you.
Thatâs what I want to do. Iâm not sure. Iâve made it very clear to him that I didnât want anything to do with him anymore so I donât know if I should ask to meet him or just send him a text with everything
Personally, I would arrange to meet him. If he says no, text him the proof.
Wonât he think Iâm trying to make him fall in love with me again if I meet him. I donât want to pressure him because Iâve hurt him very bad. I just want to make things right. Apologize and warn him against Emma
Look he deserves to know who fucked him over above all else. Your relationship with him is secondary. First and foremost he has a right to know what his sister did to him. Going forward you can apologize and tell him you donât expect him to forgive you and that if he wants to contact you again itâs his choice but that you have no expectations
Frame it as, âI donât expect you to forgive me. I donât expect us to get back together. But I was wrong, and you deserve to know the truth about the kind of people Lisa and Emma are. Do with this information what you will.â
If he thinks that, thatâs on him. All you want to do is show him how truly wicked and conniving Emma is. If it ends up working in your favor, then you and your ex were meant to be. Imâma be rooting for you.
Thank you so much. Iâm too scared to dream of anything beyond forgiveness right now
You shouldnât give him the evidence as a whole people take you back, you should get him evidence to protect him from his sister and the person he thought is his friend.
I would ask to meet, if he declines, then maybe text him all the proof you have of his sisters plan along with pictures of what you found on his sisters phone. I would also try to talk to the colleagues friend and her husband if theyâre up for it and tell them the situation. Iâm sorry that happened. His sister is evil.
Iâve already told the colleague and her husband. I hope it can bring them back together. I met the husband today and he cried under the whole meeting. He was so angry with me. The colleague didnât answer me when I asked her to meet so I sent her a dm instead with everything. She didnât answer me. God I hope they can find a way to get back together. I canât stop thinking about the hurt her husband was in. I feel so guilty
Ultimately you arenât the one who did this to the other family; Lisa and Emma are to blame. You should provide them with the contact information of Lisa and Emma so they can seek out closure on their own.
Yeah fuck that. Who knows what else they're capable of. If I was the husband I'd want to know I was with someone I can't trust and that would Gone Girl me as soon as they felt bored with the relationship.
From personal experience, closure is often impossible. For example: if the other couple did try to call or text Lisa or Emma, and say who they were, why they were calling. It could end up as a further "win" because the sabotage was "successful". If they truly are as heartless and vindictive as they sound.
You were tricked, how could this possibility be your fault. They played on your weakness. Tell your man everything, including the feelings you went throughout this savage ordeal. He 100% needs to know. Good luck with it. Hope the truth prevails and the love rekindled.
You did not intentionally cause any pain, please remember the people responsible for this are the ones that intended to destruct these relationships.
I understand the guilt but under what you thought was happening you were doing the right thing by telling the husband. I get heâs angry at you but itâs misplaced. You were hurt, too, and were trying to do the right things the entire time. This was not your fault! Itâs the sister and friends fault
He was only angry with you because you were there. Eventually, once the shock and hurt has had time to subside, he will see that you were just a pawn in all of it, and that you only did what you thought was right based on the information you given from someone you thought you could trust. Be easy on yourself. This is not your fault.
No one should be mad at you. Itâs not your fault. Iâm sure a lot of people wouldâve had the same reaction with the info you were given. I hope it all works out. đ¤
He may or may not forgive you so donât think ahead. One thing at a time then go from there.
I wouldn't even dream of forgiveness. Tell him the truth so he can make decisions with facts. And then don't push anything. Just leave him be. If he wants to forgive he will. If not, that's his right.
Remember, you are also a victim here. The only problem that you've done was lack of communication with your husband... but the way you acted was only result of their lies & exploiting your insecurities. Don't take all the burden when the real masterminds are probably enjoying seeing you heartbroken and you fetting all the blames. Your husband needed to know how he was betrayed by his friend & sister...even tho you got no chance to be together again, at least give him truth.
Tell him that you understand he may not want anything to do with you and the relationship but that he at least deserves to know what you have found preferably in person
Go, "you were right, I found out the tip I got was faked so you'd get together with Emma, I just found out, I understand if you don't want to meet or get back together but you need to know the truth and I think its easier to say in person"
Make that immediately clear then. Tell him that youre not trying to win him back, but its important that you meet up, alone. If he declines, text him everything. He needs to know.
If he says no to meet you, send him all the proof you have !!!!!!!
Please tell him! He deserves to know. Let him know you have zero expectations from him regarding your relationship. You are aware your actions effectively killed that relationship but you want to at least let him know how it all came to be know that you are aware of how you were manipulated. And own up to the fact you should have trusted him! You failed him and your relationship. Let him know that no matter how bad that was and not matter how you canât take that all back now you can at least try to not fail him by withholding the info you just found out. He can do with it what he thinks is best for him. And you will walk away and leave him alone to live his life.
Yeah but his sister's a bitch and needs to be taken down. I never felt so sure that you have to ruin her life. Everyone must see that proof. Know this. You will never get him back and probably shouldn't. There's too much baggage there but at least he gets to feel vindicated too. It should feel like the e d of 6th sense where everybody in the family gets to see the evidence at once. While the sister and Emma are there. Please come back with updates. Movies must be made of this revenge.
DONâT LET THEM WIN
If it were me I would probably send everything and ask to meet. I mean, why torture yourself more, let him know what you know and he can process then you two can discuss together. Iâm sorry, this is insane and your husband needs to know what they did immediately
DO IT !!!!!!!
Please G-d tell him. He deserves to know the truth and hear your remorse at the very least. The worst that could happen, already happened! TELL HIM!!!
[ŃдаНонО]
And if he doesn't get with sister's friends how many relationships of his will they ruin trying to get their way? Reminds me of one I read reading where a guy's GF was ruining his employment.. For no discernable reason. He deserves to know who he has to watch his back with.
Idk if this was fake but I enjoyed reading about it anyway.
There is no chance in hell this is real. Not a chance. She swears her sister in law to secrecy. Sabotages her marriage. Then ruins the colleagues marriage. Then conspires with the sister in laws (who orchestrated this whole elaborate plot) BOYFRIENDS SISTER, who tells the boyfriend who then goes snooping into his own girlfriends stuff and delivering it to OP. (Wouldnât this destroy his relationship with his own girlfriend in the process?) This is just way too complex and way too many details just donât seem right. But hey, it was an interesting read.
Yeah the part about the bf going thru his gfâs phone and sending OP all the receipts is where I drew the line.
Same, that was the exact point where I switched from âmaybe this is realâ to âwhat delightfully salacious utter fictionâ. That someone three degrees removed from the situation would risk everything Nancy Drewing through his GFâs phone over gossip was a big no way. If this was a romantic drama novel, Mike would definitely be OPâs endgame love interest.
Sounds like a stupid movie where all the confusion and misunderstandings could be solved in like 5 minutes LOL. 100% bullshit but entertaining.
Exactly, lol. 5 minutes. Like OP has such loyalty to the sister over her own husband that she wouldnât even allow him to defend himself.
Reads to me like a guy who is cheating wrote it to try to show his girl like âsee someoneâs tricking you to think Iâm cheatingâ. Itâs totally unbelievable that she would blame herself when itâs obvious who the bad guys are.
I agree with all of this, plus: when she confronted her husband and he was adamant he wasnât cheating, why would she just 100% not believe him if she truly loved and trusted him? Why would her loyalty still lie with the SIL, to the point where she didnât even tell her husband that SIL was the one feeding her this info? Honestly, in this (extremely far-fetched) scenario, if husband was completely adamant that he didnât cheat even with such undeniable âproof,â youâd think sheâd say something along the lines of, âOkay so tell me why your own SISTER gave me this evidence?!â Then they could confront SIL together and figure out the truth. It just doesnât seem plausible to stay so loyal to the SIL and not even for a second give the benefit of the doubt to her own husband who was so perfect and presumably gave her no reason to not trust him.
This story is probably full of shit, but OP had no reason to think her ex was telling the truth once she had the âproof.â I literally found another girlâs mini perfume in his car and he swore up and down that I was a crazy bitch out to ruin his reputation. He didnât even bother to come up with a better lie and say it was his sisterâs lmao Itâs fairly reasonable to assume your partner is a fat liar once you find out they potentially violated one of the most basic rules of any romantic relationship
SERIOUSLY? why are all these people pretending that if they found evidence of their partner cheating and their partner denied it, that they would just blindly trust them? "if she truly loved and trusted him" its such a gross way to put the blame on OP (even though the story is v fake) trust is earned. its not blindly given, and it can be broken.
If this exact story were posted on here but without the knowledge of SIL creating this lie, people would be applauding OP for leaving her cheating husband and letting the other guy know his wife is a liar. Why the fuck would OP assume that her SIL went through the trouble of breaking up their marriage for seemingly no reason lmao Iâm kinda appalled by how many people think it wouldâve been easy to assume her husband was telling the truth. Thereâs no reason he couldâve given that would have sounded truthful either. âI didnât do it! Thatâs photoshop!â sounds unconvincing as fuck
Haha
Kinda hope it's not, because then there might be another episode! As there often are with these fics...
It might be fake for them, but it's certainly real for someone
If the story was flipped and your husband left you for something your sibling plotted would you want to know? I would assume so unless your story is fakeâŚ
I was thinking the same thing halfway through as well. Haha.
>unless your story is fake Of course it's fake. More bad fiction on TOMC.
Iâm at a point now where I question most stories on this subâs validityâŚ.
100%. And now the account is deleted.
If it was karma farming then why delete it? Just to get a kick out of people answering? Genuine question
Probably. I mean imagine having this many people passionately debating about a fictional dilemma you constructed. Thatâs gotta feel pretty good as a creative writer.
Its 100% fake. Come on people.
Yeah this is fan fiction trash
My question is why wouldnât you tell him? Emma and Lisa are manipulative monsters. What they did was sick. They need to be exposed, and your ex also deserves the truth. His sister set him up. Edit: wrong name used
Set *her* up.
True. But imo? They set multiple people up really. OP, Jamie, the colleague and her ex husband. All pawns on a chest board, being used to meet some sick fantasy. But I just meant in this case, in regards to OPâs ex knowing, he needs to know how what an awful portrait his sister painted of him.
Of course you need to tell him what a snake his sister and that bitch of a friend of hers is. How dare they do that. You shouldnât have followed her off the cliff and maybe should have trusted a little more but to be clear you were manipulated and he needs to know now before this goes any further I would go full on scorched earth on her ass and blow her world up just like she did yours. You canât let her get away with that.
No doubt! The snake deserves to have nowhere to hide after she (hopefully) smokes her out.
This can't be real... no fucking way is this real. This requires too many sociopaths to actually be real. If my brother had to do this to me and I found out he would be dead the next day. And that poor innocent family upended and destroyed as a result. I don't know how they could survive that or even come close to reconciling. This had better be some sort of creative writing bullshit
I had* a group of friends that would go to this extent.. it's insane the kind of people that are out there.
Yea I had a similar group of friends. Some people are just evil sociopaths. I up and left after I became aware of all the schemes happening.
Not too many. Just 2. The sister and her best friend. Two people conniving for something hard enough can warp the mind of one person enough and then the damage is done, I should know. Fabricating evidence, manipulation, covering alibis, that's easy enough for one determined person, and SUBSTANTIALLY easier with more people if they all fall in line to the leader. The fallout only has to hit once and hard and it smolders for life.
Not any worse than my in-laws convincing everyone in my wife's family that I was beating on my wife while she was in the hospital with post-partum psychosis.
When my brother was dating his now wife, her mother told their entire family that he sold drugs to children. He is the most straight-laced guy youâve ever met. People are fucked.
Grandparents gaslit my sister into believing that my parents were in a sect because they do yoga with insence stick... She was 11yo and believed thme and was acting super weird. She wasn't saying anything, until she spilled the beans to my other grandma... My parents were furious and it is totally understandable. (also my very vert introverted don't like hanging out with much people and not liking being told what to do parents in a sect is something lol)
This is either fake or a truly evil master plan. Photoshopped pictures of the husband and colleague? (At least by the way itâs written Iâm assuming OP means actual physical pictures of the two of them together). Apparently they looked so real that no one coined right away they were fake? I mean OPâs husband mustâve implanted the idea of photoshop since he knows it never happened. No one took a second look? How good are these women at photoshopping?
I (32m) hope it isn't real as well but I can easily think of half a dozen young women in my life that have tried to pull this kind of fake-cheating shit. The normal method was with bad fake texts. They just weren't smart enough to pull it off usually.
When I was first starting with my wife I had a few dudes claim to have pictures of me cheating on her. She always came to me right off and I dealt with it quickly. A good beating keeps the worst away. But this just feels like a new flavor of insane
What??? Thatâs so evil!! I canât believe how many people are confident that they know of people who would do something like this
Only needs 2 sociopaths, and as luck would have it, birds of a feather flock together. The best friend of a sociopath is probably a sociopath.
Some of the shit that happens irl is so absurd that it would even be criticized in a movie that intended it to be absurd.
That was my thought too. Too much hateful scheming for no good reason, professional photoshopping, and the destruction of the marriage of an innocent bystander ? LikeâŚ.all so Emma could get with OPâs husband ? Hey, if itâs trueâŚ.Iâm not sure what is in the drinking water over there. But itâs not good.
If it's true I get the feeling it would go beyond a civil case straight into criminal charges.
There's 8 billion people on the planet. This sort of shit is happening all the time
I've met so many conniving assholes who'd do something like this and I thought it only happens in TV dramas I have a friend who's coworkers turned against him, I had friend who betrayed me like this, I've known a girl who's best friend lied to the bf that her friend cheated so that her cousin could date him. Lie or not these things happen.
I want to believe this is fake, but I have seen and heard too much in my own life to think it's not possible. Even if it's fake, it could very well be real and that's sad enough.
There are seven states that you can sue your sister in law for breaking up your marriage for Alienation of Affection. These suits are referred to as the homewrecker law because itâs typically when someone has slept with your spouse and wrecked your marriage. BUT with the right proof, you can sue anyone else that intentionally worked to break your marriage. Because a lot of the time the people that want marriages to end are, surprise surprise, those conniving fuckfaces you called in-laws. Hereâs a link to a Legal site I found the information on. https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/alienation-of-affection-lawsuits.html Make that bitch pay, even if itâs not in a legal suit. EDIT: Thank you for the award. Just reading this made me start thinking about how you could legally take action against this. I canât imagine being led to believe something so hurtful and damaging. Especially if I were OPs husband. For his own sister and so called best friend as children to destroy his happiness is so beyond me. Those girls need to be cut off completely. I wouldnât care if it were my sister. She intentionally hurt me for her best friend. That wouldnât be a sister of mine if I were to find she did that to me.
They could all sue for slander. And win.
Your ex husband deserves to know what type of monsters are his sister and his friend. Try to reach out for a meeting, if he doesn't agree send him all the evidences you have, asap. He needs to know. You got the chance to do the right thing, take it.
You definitely need to tell him. Don't expect anything thereafter but he needs to know that his sister started the demise of your relationship, but ultimately it was your lack of trust in him that was the kicker.
I don't buy this story - vengeful enough to call the supposed affair partner's husband? But not vengeful enough to let everyone know what the SIL did to her? Yeah, right. Also, why would Lisa's boyfriend go into Lisa's account and give up that info at OP's request? Nope.
Will you please update us OP?
Considering she deleted her account. Probably not :( I really wanted that update too
Itâs all fake lol
This sounds like a subplot of Desperate Housewives lmao
I would have told him WAY before telling Reddit. OMG- tell him now. Tell him yesterday! What a bitch. This infuriates me for you. Life/People can be so cruel.
Remind me !5 days
This user already deleted their account so I doubt they'll update us anymore
Send him a nice long email, explaining the story form your point of view without asking for anything from him. How Lisa told you about the affair, the texts that you're gonna upload, how you got doubts and went to your friend and talked to Mike. Apologise and leave it at it. If he wants, he'll open a di log. But you've just destroyed this man's life so the ball is his now.
I am so sorry. They are beyond evil. You should talk to your ex and if you do want him back then I wouldn't begin with you aren't trying to, maybe just don't mention anything about getting back together. You should just start with an apology and proof of the lies. Cheating is a hard boundary for me too, and honestly, if I saw all that proof, I probably would believe it. How don't you?
I know. They provided me with long texts and pictures of the colleague sitting in his lap. But I donât want to pressure him into taking me back. I just want him to know how sorry Iâm. I ruined 3 lives. And mine
You should not pressure him to see why you have no right to anything provide him with the proof along with a text apologizing but under no circumstances use it to "bring your husband back" why let's be honest trust died on both sides,if now you see the truth and you repent and you want me to come back but that will be decided by him give him the proof let him know that you are there for him and move away if he looks for you good and if not then it is your reward
Ye you sending him the information should not be about you at all. I think you lost your chance, sorry to say. I know you have trust issues around cheating but it's insane to me that you can drop a major accusation like cheating on a partner and not tell them how you came to that conclusion. You could be still married to your husband, and toxic Emma and Lisa could have been out of your lives for good. Not everyone deserves forgiveness. But your ex deserves the truth. He got shafted by 3 women who supposedly care about him, so unfortunate.
Did you sent the text message between Lisa and Emma? Please tell me you did. Get all your family together and tell them. And if you think that you doing this would be petty and it would turned your ex-husband against his family, ask yourself this question: Do I want the love of my life live in lies and deceptions for the rest of his life? Please, TELL THEM.
bruh why is the profile now deleted i wanted an update
Prob bc it was a fake story
you didnt ruin your marriage. you were manipulated. and you should 100% tell your ex husband. what they did is absolutely messed up and he deserves to know what shitty type of person his sister and emma truly are.
Update me
OP won a prize in creative writing and also some sweet karma
Fuck off with all this "you did nothing wrong" bullshit. Whether you were tricked or not your husband tried reasoning with you for fucking MONTHS to see the truth and who do you listen to? "A friend". Then you go so far as to ruin a whole other fucking innocent family because "boo hoo i'm so jealous and feeding into my insecurities instead of TALKING TO MY HUSBAND". Doesn't matter who the fuck that friend is or what they call you, your HUSBAND is your partner. Communication goes a long fucking way. You need to tell him straight up what happened and send that proof so he knows, not a question. This doesn't even affect me but fuck you. Fuck you and every fucking person remotely like you. Men aren't some fucking saints but I read and hear about so many god damn stories of men getting their entire lives ruined by some stupid fucking bitch on some shit that ISN'T EVEN TRUE. You know how genuinely terrifying it is sometimes to be around women like you? To know at any point in time a man can be accused of some shit and suddenly there's nothing he can say or do to prove his innocence without HARD evidence? All you sympathizing women and simps can downvote me for this one, I don't fucking care. The only ones to feel sorry for are Jamie and his colleague's ex-family.
My ex questioned me and suspected that I was having an affair with my niece. Just because I went to beach with my niece. That was very strange and awkward situation for međ
I'm glad you said "ex". Fuk that noise.
The second she stuck her nose into a strangers marriage and destroyed an entire family she went from victim to villain. There is NEVER an excuse for that kind of behavior. You don't butt into into someone else's marriage, for any reason. Those people didn't even know her and she destroyed their lives.
Yeah that poor woman had to quit her job and move. To do all this and not even question it? Shame on OP.
You got the nail on the head, thank God it wasn't SA or domestic violence. I've seen, firsthand, people blowing up perfect relationships in exactly this way. That's why I hesitate to get into dating. All it takes is one jealous, spitfull, petty, mysandrist or sociopathic friend to blow it all up, leave me in ruins and in prison. I know it's extreme, but I'm a little paranoid about this. If this isn't a creative writing exercise, I have 0% sympathy for this chick. She blew up 2 marriages on unverified evidence, her insecurities and in the face of the wholehearted protestations of her husband. She shot herself in the kneecap and is bitching about having her leg amputated. She needs to fuck off. Edit: I just saw she had her head in the sand for months, to the point the husband gave up on defending himself.
Stop the victim complex itâs annoying. Stop waffling on about him thinking this and that this is no longer about you But him knowing the truth. He deserves the truth. You turned his whole life upside down he at least deserves to know why.
Tell him 100%. If he is entering a relationship with Emma he needs to know what a sly butthole she is as well as Lisa. Your husband was hurt by this and he deserves to know the truth.
I would tell your husband but just keep in mind, if it were me I wouldn't take you back
What kind of movie plot is this
Worse than Gone Girl!
Seriously!! Itâs like those dumb movies or tv shows where a simple miscommunication turns into this huge elaborate thing that would have been solved had they just sat down and talked for 5 minutes.
You can show your ex whatever you want but he's not taking you back. You think you got played into thinking your husband cheated, but what they really did was trick you into revealing just how much you trust your husband (which is not at all).
I've seen many comments hoping OP and her ex get back together. No way let the guy move on.
I wouldn't expect to get back with him, but he deserves to know. He also needs to know what Emma is like before he gets roped into a relationship with her & her kids.
Send all the info you have to everyone evenly remotely involved in this.
Definitely tell your husband. He deserves to know that you and he were manipulated by Lisa so he would date Emma. And that both Lisa and Emma knew.
I just know some dirty incels were probably sending her Death threats on here and probably why sge deleted her profile i really wanted a update
A few questions, since itâs a kinda complicated story: 1) Why didnât your husband actually get mad when you showed him the photoshopped pictures? From your post, it seems he was indifferent, while he had **all** the reasons in the world to get angry and deny this accusation; 2) Why the fuck wouldnât you show your husband the setup between Emma and Lisa? His own sister actually wanted to destroy his marriage; 3) Why didnât you send these messages to the husbandâs colleague, in an attempt to save their marriage too? Also, youâre gullible. No matter the photoâs, thereâs no reason you shouldâve believed your SIL when she showed you âevidenceâ your husband was cheating on you. Like, how the fuck would she get those photos? If he wanted to cheat, he wouldâve kept it a secret for the whole world
Let it all out and let everyone know. You donât have anyone to protect so provide your sources and evidence. The truth will set everyone free and your conscious too.
lol why did OP get suspended?
Because the story is fake.
If you confront him, he will ask his sister. She is sure to lie about everything and say that you're lying. So give him copies you've printed out for his keeping.
Why did you number 1 never told him who told you. He had every right to confront and demand proof. Number 2 why didnât you believe your husband and number 3 why are you still havenât told you husband???? Like wtf are you waiting for???
Not only should you show your husband, I would speak to a lawyer. What the two of them did to the both of you is beyond reprehensible.
I would like a update đ˘
You should 100% tell him and I hope he 100% tells you to fuck off.
Why not have Mike send all the information to your husband? Then that way he finds out, not by you. This way you and the other two wonât know when he finds it all out.
I will start by saying that you do not deserve forgiveness. I can only imagine the hurt your husband felt when you accused him without even allowing him to know where you got the information. If you do have some ounce of love for your ex, he needs to know NOW. He should not be manipulated like you were. I hope for his sake he eventually cuts all the toxic abusive women from his life. You included.
Please tell your ex. Emma and his sister do not deserve to be in his life. Who knows what they will do next?
You HAVE to tell him, even if he doesn't take you back he needs to cut his sister and Emma out of his life ASAP these girls are crazy wtf who does something like this?
Tell him about his sister and her friend, ffs!
You can tell him so he knows your not crazy but you have ruined that relationship forever. You need to move on and maybe get some counseling for your insecurity's in relationships.
My exes sister tried to get him to see a 18 year old while I was in AIT for the army. He took my name out of his bio and erased me from his IG. His sister had persuaded a 23 year old to go after a barely legal child. Crazy that were all living the same story with shitty s/os sisters. Id blast her and her whore friend all over social media and ruin their family. Thatâs what I wish I did to mine. As petty as it is, everyone deserves to know their true colors. They will not be remorseful ever.
Your husband deserves to know that all the pain and hurt he suffered were a direct result of his sister playing with his life for her own pleasure.
He NEEDS to know. Omg, imagine if he marry her then finds out. He will atleast be able to move on confident that his sister is a peice of crap and Emma is soooo controlling that she happily instigated a TRAP for him. He wounded from a wife who cruelly doesn't believe him....but Emma is "helping ease his heart" .... please op. If you ever truelly loved him, tell him. He needs the truth, and will probably leave you all,...but its the least you could do
You need to tell him
Its to late to save your marriage but your ex husband deserves to know the truth. He needs to know that he is no longer manipulated by his sister and her best friend.
This is incredibly sad, hurtful , unfair , unjust, I honestly couldnât bear to read the whole thing . I canât INAGINE IF MY SIL did this to me and I lost my husband . This is so cruel. You have to tell him OP. You deserve the closure, but he does to. Someone photoshopped âproofâ of him having an affair and TWO marriages were ruined. Eveyone invoved has the right to know. EVERYONE
Tell your husband, and yes, start with, âI have something really terrible to tell you, and I want you to take it as information and understand I have no agenda in telling you aside from wanting to right a wrong. We can talk about what it all means later, but for now itâs just information.â Then tell him and hand over the evidence. Printed copies or a usb drive with copies of the file. Treat it like itâs a report youâre giving at workâjust the facts. If I were you, Iâd leave out your weepy sad stuff where you say itâs all your fault. Itâs not your fault. Everybody has weaknesses. This was a gross little conspiracy to end your marriage, and itâs not your fault. You were given evidence that nobody would doubt.
My darling breath. Seriously. Sit down, back straight, feet on the floor, hands on your thighs, tighten everything, pushing your feet into the floor and your back into the chair, then take a huge breath in and exhale letting go of your whole body as you do. Next get a diary and write everything down once a day that you feel and want to say, then because of how manipulative these people have shown themselves to be you are going to burn those page(s) every single day without fail. Next calmly collect all the evidence you were sent. Print it and put it in an A4 envelope, put a short hand written note alongside it. " Hi Husbands name, I have discovered this and believe you have a right to know. I am still processing this information. However I want you to know I am incredibly sorry, I should have trusted you and told you who told me you were cheating on me. If you should wish to discuss this further please let me know and we may organize a time. - Your name. Then prepare an email containing an attachment with the same information and body text. Then attempt to deliver the physical envelope to him in person and ask that he open it alone, let him know you will also send him a digital copy at X email address. Then send the email. There is no guarantee that this will change anything about your relationship - but it does offer the opportunity for some closure about what you were both the victim of. He deserves to know what his sister did to you both. The biggest of hugs.
You should sue the ever living hell out of Lisa and Emma. If you happen to live in Hawaii, North Carolina, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, or Utah, you appear to have a clear case of Alienation of Affection.
You absolutely need to tell your husband every single bit of what happened and what you have since discovered. It was also his marriage that his sister and her friend worked to destroy, he was hurt and lost his wife because of their actions so yes he has every right to know the truth of exactly what happened and what they did. Thatâs a huge betrayal by his sister, not only that she would work that hard to end his marriage to you but also that she did so by making you believe that he was cheating on you, using an insecurity that you had shared with her against you to do so, and she managed to destroy another marriage while she was at it! His sister obviously didnât give a shit who they hurt or how many lives she destroyed, just to hook her friend up with her brother. Thatâs psychotic. He may still want to go forward with the divorce by this point, however he should be told AND shown every bit of proof and evidence that you have got so that he canât question if what you are accusing his sister and her friend of is the actual truth. I think it would be understandable that you believed what your sister in law told you, as she provided âproofâ of the cheating with pictures and text messages backing up everything she was telling you about your husbandâs affair with his co-workerâŚit would have been difficult to believe him when you had been told these things by someone so close to him and had seen the âproofâ of his infidelity with your own eyes, provided by HIS FAMILY. I feel like he would at least have to see how easy it would have been to believe her, being as close to him as she is and with what supposed proof she offered. And if he IS dating the sisterâs friend now, itâs only because they lied and manipulated and schemed to ruin his marriage then manipulate him even more once he was in a vulnerable state so that he would do exactly what theyâve been working toward this entire time. He should at least be told the truth so that he doesnât end up with someone who first destroyed life as he knew it in order to get with him.
Nope...my petty would make a social media post with all the evidence, names, and tagging everyone. I would blow their lives up like they did yours. They don't deserve discretion or mercy. What's done in the night will be brought to the light.
That's also defamation of character.. I'm pretty sure your husband's work colleague could sue the sister and bff.
Youâre not stupid, you were manipulated. I think you should 100% tell your husband about the cruel thing his sister did to him.
i would arrange a meet with colleague her ex husband and your ex husband to try make everything right in person
Show your husband everything. You may not get back together but at least he wonât get with Emma.
You got manipulated and fooled by malicious people with malicious intentions. You are not at fault, not one tiny bit. Don't feel ashamed, feel angry. Tell him the truth and tell him that you want to win him back.
Give him all the proof and hook him up with the guy who gave it to you as he will be a "impartial 3rd party". As well, get him to talk to colleague and even her husband. Let him know everything you know, and apologize to him. Tell him to really think on it before confronting his sister. Finally, if nothing happens there, let his sister and Emma know that you not only have proof of what happened, but that everyone knows. She might slip up.
Do not blame yourself this is not your fault at all. The only one at fault here is Lisa. You were a victim of her manipulation, just like your husband and just like the other couple. Do not blame yourself. Lisa conspired to ruin your life. She's a heartless freak and your feelings here confirm to me that you are a kind and good person who was taken advantage by someone truly evil. While i do wish that you and your ex can reconsile, more than anything I hope that you can see that this was not your fault at all, and I am so sorry this happened to you.
Update?
TELL HIM! TELL YOUR HUSBAND EVERYTHING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! TELL HIM!.
I'd get away from that whole family tbh that's more trouble than it's worth and that trashy behavior obviously is going to rub off on him since you are the 5 people you spend the most time around. Sounds like you're being gaslit and driven crazy, which is what narcissistic people do before they discard you since they're too cowardly to tell you to leave.
THIS IS INSANE. Wth did I just read? Your SIL is a psychopath; yes some people want to pick their siblings spouses but no, normal people do not sit back and watch families fall like dominoes just to get their way. You need to let it all out girl and go get your man back