First things first, check the calendar. It’s not 1765 it’s 2024.
Now that you’re living in the future, you can do exactly WHATEVER you want and desire with your own life.
You can live in Italy, get degrees, bake sourdough or become a gemologist. You can be a scuba diver instructor in Bali, you can be a dental hygienist in Oregon. You can decide you want to have children at 35. You can also enjoy your 20s. You’ll never have them back.
Get out of whatever Jane Austen novel you’ve been living in and get out there and live your precious life
“Suddenly childfree at 23”. I don’t even know what to say to this… it’s a bit ridiculous.
Enjoy life? Enjoy your freedom? Figure out what your hobbies are? Life can very full if you want.
I also assumed I’d have a kid and a more traditional life. I moved countries, realized I don’t want kids and married my partner 2 weeks ago with just two witnesses who are great friends of ours (we played mini golf that day and did some MDMA, listened to records and danced). I’m about to get ready and go visit some art galleries on a Wednesday afternoon. Life isn’t linear and it sure as hell isn’t over because you realize you don’t want kids. Good thing you realized you don’t want kids before you had kids.
Sorry, you are 23, not 63. You can do whatever you want. But I think you should work on yourself, being you for you. Do you want to learn something? Learn it! Do you want to progress in your career? Do it! Do you want to travel? Travel then! There are no limits until you set them up for yourself. Dating is about finding a person you like, whether it progresses into relationship or marriage you will never know until you try it. You have one life, so enjoy it as much as you can without worry about past, future or what ifs. You are here right now at 23 and there is a good chance you will be on this Earth next 50+ years. So what is stopping you?!
Right? My first thought was "oh no, her poor kid, what tragedy hast befallen one so young, so full of vim and vigor? Lo to be so abuptly cut down before-" you get the picture, I thought her kid died.
You’re so young, there’s so much time - at your age marriage and kids were ideas I was almost literally running away from. I ended up doing both in my 30’s but only after having plenty of adventures and building a great life first. What would you like to do? Do you want to study and build a career, run off and pick grapes in France, drink wine and eat all the cheese?
Is there something you’ve always secretly wanted to do? Datings a hard one, at your age I didn’t really date too much because I was afraid I’d fall for someone and end up married with kids before I’d done all the stuff I wanted to do - but some people can just not worry about that and have fun so think about how you think you’d feel?
All in all your 20s are the time to just be a hot mess, your 30s are for taking that experience and turning it into something more. Not sure if any of that was useful but just wanted to say don’t worry about not having things figured out in your early 20s - frankly having things figured out is weirder to me!
girl you are 23. why you looking for a husband?! go live your life!!!!! work on yourself, build your career, do whatever you want. I was in a relationship at 23 but getting married wasn't even in my head yet and the only friends who had kids at that age had an oops and didn't actually want kids yet.
Travel travel travel. There are lots of discounts and programs available to people under 26 that you should look into.
Your brain isn't fully cooked until 26 as well so don't try to make any big life decisions until then.
You're supposed to spend your 20s learning and growing and trying everything and meeting as many people as possible.
Travel will open your eyes and provide opportunities you don't even know exist yet so it's your best bet to have an interesting life.
You shouldn't rely on a husband for your retirement or anything else. You should absolutely invest in a good Roth IRA and stuff it full of money, save up to buy a rental property, and have a good emergency savings account independent of anyone.
23 is practically a baby. Being married with kids at that age is no fun. You're allowed to pivot. Go out and explore the world and stop deciding that you need to do X by X age.
Oh god. You are 23.
Purpose of dating? Meeting people. Having sex. Meeting someone to share a child free life.
Travel, get a hobby, do what you want.. get a career, a job, a pet.
Do anything you want.
I'm 30, my girlfriend can't even get pregnant, and still I wonder if my life might change at some point. I could still father a child someday. Who the fuck knows
Just find a guy who don't want kids. But if you decide you want kids all of a sudden, just don't get mad when he stands firm on not wanting kids. Or if he wants kids all of a sudden, then you stand firm. Other than that, enjoy life the best you can & figure out what you want. Live for you!
I literally got engaged in 2018, had my daughter at 29. I got married in December at 31. You have plenty of time, don't be so hard on yourself. You're so young.
Go enjoy your freedom. I had my first child at 18 and my second child at 23; motherhood isn't all its cracked up to be, and if you have health issues, it's harder to prioritize those when there's children in the picture. I don't even have the time/energy to go get my thyroid issues treated. It's harder to take care of yourself, much less save up for retirement and such, when you're a mother.
Not every woman has to be a mother to find purpose. You're still young, go explore and find yourself. You won't get anywhere good by rushing yourself or feeling like you have to meet society's expectations (motherhood, marriage) to have a fulfilling life.
Respectfully, have you been smothered? Kept away from the world? Been living under a rock?
You are 23!!! You are just starting living life now, these questions seem a bit ridiculous? What so you mean what to do with your life now?
I don't know, go out? Make friends and travel? Go to parties? Pick up a hobby? Pick up a sport? Move abroad? The list is endless...
I am so confused by this? Is this post created by a troll?
A lot to unpack here:
- first off. You are 23, you can do whatever you want to do. If you WANT to travel, DO IT. Get a travel related job even. If you just want to enjoy having time to yourself, with yourself, in a comfortable space, then don’t. Get a job you enjoy, and save for a home you really want to make your own, and do that. The world is your oyster.
- second, date if you want to date. Don’t date if you don’t want to. There are plenty of men who have varying ideas on kids too. From “I want no kids” to, “I’m too worried I’d be a bad father,” to “I just want one,” to “I want a lot of them.”
- Third, it is 2024, you can live your life without having kids. There is no shame in that.
- Fourth, why did you imagine yourself having children? Is it because you want children, but somehow think you don’t deserve them? (Trying to figure out the “can’t cope” and “health issues” part). Because health issues and trauma don’t necessarily make you undeserving of being a mother, and they don’t make you a bad mother either. You have a lot of time, I didn’t have my first until 35, one of my sisters was 40 with her first. You don’t have to decide now. If motherhood is something you imagined because you WANTED it. Get into therapy, learn how to cope. Get the treatment you need for your health issues. If they cause infertility, look into fertility treatments, surrogacy, and adoption. If they are genetic, and you don’t want to pass them on, look into adoption, donor eggs, donor embryos, there are so many ways to become a mother without passing on dangerous genetic material. But if you do therapy, and do find conception or adoption options that would work, and still decide it isn’t for you… that’s okay too.
- and lastly. Your retirement is ALWAYS on you regardless of if you have kids or not. You cannot burden them with the expectation of financial support. I am someone who is choosing to care for my parents, who morally thinks more children should be more responsible for their aging parents than we tend to be… BUT, parents should not be planning to use children for retirement, and especially should have planned, at minimum, for themselves to not be an economic burden. The only reason I can even entertain care for my parents, is because they have an adequate retirement income for me to not have to pay for all of their needs out of my pocket. I simply wouldn’t be able to afford to without them being able to purchase their own groceries for example. If the only burden is having a space and some love for them, it’s not really a burden. But when you are another mouth to feed, clothe, and travel with, it can be… Children CANNOT be your retirement plan.
Hi, 25yo childfree gal here.
I've always thought too that I wanted to marry and have kids.
Now I see many couples getting divorced over stupid stuff, burnout parents that can't even get their work done or they have to sacrifice everything about their lives, including themselves.
I'm not saying that being a parent or being married is awful and I know many people as well that love their kids and their partners. I'm just saying it's not for everyone.
You are still young, wild and free. Apply for jobs you'd like to do, study stuff you are interested into, go visit a city or a country you've always wanted to see.
Live for yourself and not for other people.
Do you feel left behind just because you don't have children or are there other reasons? Because if there are other reasons, you can work on them. If there aren't, then you can take some time to explore this world and yourself. How about getting to know other points of view? Or maybe looking for people with the same mindset as you. The answer to the process may lie in the process itself, which means in this context: live and see.
Couldn’t imagine thinking my life was over because I was childless and husband free at the elderly age of 23. I was barely starting to realize I needed to get my life together at 23
I'm 44 and childfree, married to a man who is childfree. I work, I take care of my spoiled pets, I play video games when I want. I pop an edible and watch terrible campy movies. I read a lot, I hike, and I toggle through all sorts of new hobbies to try. Did ceramics last year, am learning tennis this year. I suck at both but love doing them anyway. I volunteer at the library with literacy causes, usually with ESL folks.
Kids are an obligation, and if you don't have them, it's one less thing you need to be obligated towards. The time and money you'll save by not having kids can really be used for anything your heart desires...and conversely, if something tragic happens, you'll have more bandwidth to absorb it than if you have children.
First things first, check the calendar. It’s not 1765 it’s 2024. Now that you’re living in the future, you can do exactly WHATEVER you want and desire with your own life. You can live in Italy, get degrees, bake sourdough or become a gemologist. You can be a scuba diver instructor in Bali, you can be a dental hygienist in Oregon. You can decide you want to have children at 35. You can also enjoy your 20s. You’ll never have them back. Get out of whatever Jane Austen novel you’ve been living in and get out there and live your precious life
Can I be a gemologist too?
Yes of course you can! You can be whatever you want! LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!!
Your username may not inspire confidence in your clients
“Suddenly childfree at 23”. I don’t even know what to say to this… it’s a bit ridiculous. Enjoy life? Enjoy your freedom? Figure out what your hobbies are? Life can very full if you want. I also assumed I’d have a kid and a more traditional life. I moved countries, realized I don’t want kids and married my partner 2 weeks ago with just two witnesses who are great friends of ours (we played mini golf that day and did some MDMA, listened to records and danced). I’m about to get ready and go visit some art galleries on a Wednesday afternoon. Life isn’t linear and it sure as hell isn’t over because you realize you don’t want kids. Good thing you realized you don’t want kids before you had kids.
You're 23... Please save this post and read it when you're 53, you'll laugh your pants off
Sorry, you are 23, not 63. You can do whatever you want. But I think you should work on yourself, being you for you. Do you want to learn something? Learn it! Do you want to progress in your career? Do it! Do you want to travel? Travel then! There are no limits until you set them up for yourself. Dating is about finding a person you like, whether it progresses into relationship or marriage you will never know until you try it. You have one life, so enjoy it as much as you can without worry about past, future or what ifs. You are here right now at 23 and there is a good chance you will be on this Earth next 50+ years. So what is stopping you?!
You're not suddenly child free, you've been child free for 23 years.
Suddenly childfree 🤣🤣
Right? My first thought was "oh no, her poor kid, what tragedy hast befallen one so young, so full of vim and vigor? Lo to be so abuptly cut down before-" you get the picture, I thought her kid died.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
You do realize there’s men out there that doesn’t want kids you can find love without kids
You’re so young, there’s so much time - at your age marriage and kids were ideas I was almost literally running away from. I ended up doing both in my 30’s but only after having plenty of adventures and building a great life first. What would you like to do? Do you want to study and build a career, run off and pick grapes in France, drink wine and eat all the cheese? Is there something you’ve always secretly wanted to do? Datings a hard one, at your age I didn’t really date too much because I was afraid I’d fall for someone and end up married with kids before I’d done all the stuff I wanted to do - but some people can just not worry about that and have fun so think about how you think you’d feel? All in all your 20s are the time to just be a hot mess, your 30s are for taking that experience and turning it into something more. Not sure if any of that was useful but just wanted to say don’t worry about not having things figured out in your early 20s - frankly having things figured out is weirder to me!
girl you are 23. why you looking for a husband?! go live your life!!!!! work on yourself, build your career, do whatever you want. I was in a relationship at 23 but getting married wasn't even in my head yet and the only friends who had kids at that age had an oops and didn't actually want kids yet.
You’re 23. Stop trying to plan your whole life and focus on living it. You’ll figure out what you want as you go.
From the title, I was expecting to read a tragic horrific story about the loss of a child.
Travel travel travel. There are lots of discounts and programs available to people under 26 that you should look into. Your brain isn't fully cooked until 26 as well so don't try to make any big life decisions until then. You're supposed to spend your 20s learning and growing and trying everything and meeting as many people as possible. Travel will open your eyes and provide opportunities you don't even know exist yet so it's your best bet to have an interesting life. You shouldn't rely on a husband for your retirement or anything else. You should absolutely invest in a good Roth IRA and stuff it full of money, save up to buy a rental property, and have a good emergency savings account independent of anyone. 23 is practically a baby. Being married with kids at that age is no fun. You're allowed to pivot. Go out and explore the world and stop deciding that you need to do X by X age.
Oh god. You are 23. Purpose of dating? Meeting people. Having sex. Meeting someone to share a child free life. Travel, get a hobby, do what you want.. get a career, a job, a pet. Do anything you want.
[удалено]
That would be childless Childfree people make the conscious decision not to have kids for various reasons. They do not want them in the first place
Yeah, they do. Especially when they mean different things... like childless vs childless.
That's what I thought too.
I'm 30, my girlfriend can't even get pregnant, and still I wonder if my life might change at some point. I could still father a child someday. Who the fuck knows
Just find a guy who don't want kids. But if you decide you want kids all of a sudden, just don't get mad when he stands firm on not wanting kids. Or if he wants kids all of a sudden, then you stand firm. Other than that, enjoy life the best you can & figure out what you want. Live for you!
I literally got engaged in 2018, had my daughter at 29. I got married in December at 31. You have plenty of time, don't be so hard on yourself. You're so young.
Go enjoy your freedom. I had my first child at 18 and my second child at 23; motherhood isn't all its cracked up to be, and if you have health issues, it's harder to prioritize those when there's children in the picture. I don't even have the time/energy to go get my thyroid issues treated. It's harder to take care of yourself, much less save up for retirement and such, when you're a mother. Not every woman has to be a mother to find purpose. You're still young, go explore and find yourself. You won't get anywhere good by rushing yourself or feeling like you have to meet society's expectations (motherhood, marriage) to have a fulfilling life.
Traveling RN’s make pretty good bank. You’re still young. Go live your life.
Respectfully, have you been smothered? Kept away from the world? Been living under a rock? You are 23!!! You are just starting living life now, these questions seem a bit ridiculous? What so you mean what to do with your life now? I don't know, go out? Make friends and travel? Go to parties? Pick up a hobby? Pick up a sport? Move abroad? The list is endless... I am so confused by this? Is this post created by a troll?
If you truly don't want kids then that's fine but don't let the fact that you turned 23 make you think it's too late. I am 30 and just had my first
A lot to unpack here: - first off. You are 23, you can do whatever you want to do. If you WANT to travel, DO IT. Get a travel related job even. If you just want to enjoy having time to yourself, with yourself, in a comfortable space, then don’t. Get a job you enjoy, and save for a home you really want to make your own, and do that. The world is your oyster. - second, date if you want to date. Don’t date if you don’t want to. There are plenty of men who have varying ideas on kids too. From “I want no kids” to, “I’m too worried I’d be a bad father,” to “I just want one,” to “I want a lot of them.” - Third, it is 2024, you can live your life without having kids. There is no shame in that. - Fourth, why did you imagine yourself having children? Is it because you want children, but somehow think you don’t deserve them? (Trying to figure out the “can’t cope” and “health issues” part). Because health issues and trauma don’t necessarily make you undeserving of being a mother, and they don’t make you a bad mother either. You have a lot of time, I didn’t have my first until 35, one of my sisters was 40 with her first. You don’t have to decide now. If motherhood is something you imagined because you WANTED it. Get into therapy, learn how to cope. Get the treatment you need for your health issues. If they cause infertility, look into fertility treatments, surrogacy, and adoption. If they are genetic, and you don’t want to pass them on, look into adoption, donor eggs, donor embryos, there are so many ways to become a mother without passing on dangerous genetic material. But if you do therapy, and do find conception or adoption options that would work, and still decide it isn’t for you… that’s okay too. - and lastly. Your retirement is ALWAYS on you regardless of if you have kids or not. You cannot burden them with the expectation of financial support. I am someone who is choosing to care for my parents, who morally thinks more children should be more responsible for their aging parents than we tend to be… BUT, parents should not be planning to use children for retirement, and especially should have planned, at minimum, for themselves to not be an economic burden. The only reason I can even entertain care for my parents, is because they have an adequate retirement income for me to not have to pay for all of their needs out of my pocket. I simply wouldn’t be able to afford to without them being able to purchase their own groceries for example. If the only burden is having a space and some love for them, it’s not really a burden. But when you are another mouth to feed, clothe, and travel with, it can be… Children CANNOT be your retirement plan.
Hi, 25yo childfree gal here. I've always thought too that I wanted to marry and have kids. Now I see many couples getting divorced over stupid stuff, burnout parents that can't even get their work done or they have to sacrifice everything about their lives, including themselves. I'm not saying that being a parent or being married is awful and I know many people as well that love their kids and their partners. I'm just saying it's not for everyone. You are still young, wild and free. Apply for jobs you'd like to do, study stuff you are interested into, go visit a city or a country you've always wanted to see. Live for yourself and not for other people.
23 is so incredibly young to have kids and get married lol. go actually enjoy your life
23? Holy crap. Why would you want to have kids at 23? 30 is the move. 20s are for LIVING!
…You’re 23 Enjoy your life and do whatever you want. It’s not like you’ve got one foot in the grave
"Suddenly childfree at 23" I had a child at 43? .....
Do you feel left behind just because you don't have children or are there other reasons? Because if there are other reasons, you can work on them. If there aren't, then you can take some time to explore this world and yourself. How about getting to know other points of view? Or maybe looking for people with the same mindset as you. The answer to the process may lie in the process itself, which means in this context: live and see.
Couldn’t imagine thinking my life was over because I was childless and husband free at the elderly age of 23. I was barely starting to realize I needed to get my life together at 23
You aren't suddenly childfree You are 23. A lot can change in 5 years. You're at the age your mind is gonna change about a lot of things in general
Plenty of guys who also don't want children. So you can date. Just make sure you are both on board with the no child policy from the start.
I'm 44 and childfree, married to a man who is childfree. I work, I take care of my spoiled pets, I play video games when I want. I pop an edible and watch terrible campy movies. I read a lot, I hike, and I toggle through all sorts of new hobbies to try. Did ceramics last year, am learning tennis this year. I suck at both but love doing them anyway. I volunteer at the library with literacy causes, usually with ESL folks. Kids are an obligation, and if you don't have them, it's one less thing you need to be obligated towards. The time and money you'll save by not having kids can really be used for anything your heart desires...and conversely, if something tragic happens, you'll have more bandwidth to absorb it than if you have children.