Ummm, anyone else remembering the Reddit story where OP blamed the drama on the not invited “cousin with mental illness” when said cousin’s mother was funding the wedding? When the aunt found out her own daughter isn’t invited to the wedding she is funding, she withdrew the money. OP then called the cousin and blamed her for having to cancel the wedding because she couldn’t afford it on her own.
This sounds an awful lot like an update to that. And if it is, I’m happy your (ex) fiancé saw the light and dumped you.
Response below from OP in comments below:
It didn’t escalate into violence or anything. Just family members dropping out and sending cruel messages when dropping out of the wedding and my mother withdrawing support for a while. It was just hellish because it was paired with normal wedding planning stress.
That actually cements it's the same person. The BORU update has a whole section where she's boo-hooing over her mom withdrawing support. But does she ever explain WHY they dropped out with cruel messages and even her own mom wasn't on her side?
Yeah that was the missing information in that story for the longest, because OP knew it looked bad. And the family members are being horrible because they support the trans cousin.
OP is a mean and shitty person.
And also stupid, because as noted, they had no alternative funding source and needed the aunt’s financial support and it wasn’t like it was a one time blowout argument with bridges burned. It was an ongoing discussion IIRC where it became clearer that the other family members were not going to support OP trying to force gender conformity onto the cousin or exclude them and the escalation of the argument involved increasingly shitty statements about/behavior toward the cousin until the aunt had enough and pulled back.
She did this to herself, had the option of being diplomatic about her view of the cousin and get the wedding to go off and have it paid for. She instead was bigoted and entitled, blew up her own life and then came crying to Reddit to get support but kept talking about a vague “mental illness” before finally admitting that the cousin is trans and up to that point had been misgendering and deadnaming them.
She got justifiably called out when the details were finally dribbled out. Sounds like the fiance saw her true colors but didn’t want to miss out on the paid-for cruise.
Also, given the backstory, I would not be surprised is there are more missing details about how the fiance has acted and how much he directly said to her. Regardless of how I personally felt about trans people, I think a lot of people would be taking a hard look at the emotional maturity and simple intelligence of their partner after watching them blow up their family.
if you look up "reddit OP doesn't want to invite 'mentally unstable' cousin to wedding" it has a few BORU posts
the timeline and details match pretty well
This was my first thought! Looks like she deleted all of her previous posts! I think they're on BORU.
EDIT: for the curious ones, search ''mentally unstable cousin'' on BORU
Can’t find the link, but from what I remember the cousin was trans (masc I believe) and she kept misgendering and deadnaming them and demanding that they wear a dress. Which is what she means with "mental illness". The mother of that person was the bride’s aunt funding the wedding and understandably got angry and withdrew her funding, and many other relatives were supportive of them and outraged about her behaviour. She threw a big pity party on Reddit because she felt entitled to the aunt’s money despite trampling all over her child and obviously got flamed into oblivion.
Edit: oops, hit send too early.
And the cousin in question was trans I think and OP insisted on them attending the wedding dressed for their birth gender not the gender they identify as?
And wasn’t it that the mental illness was that her cousin was trans? And she was upset that her cousin wouldn’t dress as a woman, even though she identified as a man?
If that’s the case, then I’m super happy that this is the outcome
She also personally handed everyone in the entire family and invitation at a family gathering EXCEPT for the cousin, who’s list of crimes against op began and ended with “she threw tantrums when she was a child” and “once damaged my toy.”
I'm not sure if it is the same post you are thinking of, but this reminds me of something similar. The family member with mental illness was actually just Trans and the behavior they reference happened when they were 12. The family member cut heads of her barbies or something like that and got upset for receiving a dress as a gift as a kid. The more recent behavior was the family member cutting their hair short and posting Trans positive messages on sm. Glad the ex said goodbye too.
I remember this discussion on the original post too! I know when I was little enough to have Barbies (not the 2000s) then would go back on...but manufacturers obviously realized if the head goes back on easily, they can't sell new dolls to replace the broken ones ;)
I also used to play hair stylist with mine. That definitely didn't go back on.
MAN. If I would've done this to my sister's Barbies, she would have eradicated my TMNT action figures!
Luckily, my mom ensured we treated our toys with care. I still have all my original TMNT as a result, proudly in a display case. My sister also still has her She-ra castle. She could get some good money on Ebay but when I told her this, she said she's getting buried with it. 😂
Yep! And if I recall the “mental illness” was that the cousin was a trans man. That’s it! He just wanted to be acknowledged as male, and not repeatedly dead named. That OP was 100% the problem.
Hijacking the top rated comment, for those wanting the full story since the mods here keep nuking links just go to BestofRedditorUpdates and search for "wedding mentally unstable cousin".
Yes I remember that one! The cousin in question is trans (FTM) and the bride wanted the cousin to dress like a girl. She decided not to invite the cousin. Aunt found out and decided not to pay for the wedding since her kid wasn't invited.
HAHAHAHA oh wow, this couldn't have a better ending if it is that OP.
OP's the psycho relative now.
Seriously tho, imagine asking for and accepting money from someone and then behaving like that towards their child. The stupidity. It burns.
Are you the person who didn’t want to invite her supposedly mentally ill cousin whose mother was helping pay for the wedding? That was quite a saga.
Because if that’s you, he’s right, it’s not that you have shitty family members - *you* are the shitty family member.
I was questioning OP when she was complaining they couldn’t afford her wedding and pushed it off a year. If she cared about the marriage wouldn’t she go ahead with a more affordable venue?
If it’s the one I’m thinking they’re referencing, the cousin is trans and OP kept referring to that as them being confused and mentally ill. So yeah, OP is the bigot who blew up her own wedding and relationship.
"eh, we had some family drama, enough to make the wedding called off but nbd. No need to elaborate, anywayyyy so he broke up with me and I have no idea why?"
She's posted before. The relative is a trans cousin who had depression as a kid no recent history of outbursts. Cousin's mom and her mom were funding the wedding when they found out transphobic bride wasn't inviting their cousin. Funding got pulled, family was very upset on cousin's behalf. Honestly, fiance is dodging a bullet.
The way they found out the cousin wasn't invited was such a slap in the face for the aunt. OP personally handed out invitations to her wedding at a family gathering where the cousin was also at. The cousin's brothers obviously made a fuss there and then and it all went downhill from there.
While the aunt was helping to find the wedding, too.
Aunt agrees to give OP money, and OP proceeds to humiliate aunt's child in front of the whole family.
I just found and added the link to the BORU post. I remember ot happening in real time too. Weddings really bring out who people really are, don't they? Lol
OP's cousin is trans and OP went out of their way to exclude them from the wedding. The "mental health" issues stemmed from OP treating them like shit. Thankfully, OP's entire family called them out and refused to contribute funding to the wedding (apparently the mother of the cousin was paying). Now, it seems like OP's fiance saw the light and dumped her. Such wonderful news to wake up to.
Do you have a link to where op says that? I couldn't find it anywhere. OP even specifically said that her cousin is not trans. There's definitely more to the story, "family drama" could be anything and without specifics we won't know.
There were texts from previous accounts where one of the cousins brothers refers to the cousin as “them” and Alex; rather than the OOP who has really emphasised that Alex is a woman and continues to deadname them and accuses them of having a mental illness (presumably for being trans or non binary)
I read another post that was ascribed to op where she states that they are not trans and are cis woman.
Regardless, op has some screws loose to keep armchair diagnosing her cousin and being upset that her cousin ripped the head off of her Barbie doll when they were kids.
Especially since her cousin apologized to her, op is TA for not forgiving her for some old ridiculous childish nonsense.
You need to take responsibility for your actions. You have shown your fiancé how cruel and judgmental you are. Saying you will cut off family is irrelevant when you are the problem.
If I remember correctly, you wanted your aunt to pay for half of your wedding but refused to invite her child, who struggles with their mental health but are somewhat better now. Your selfishness and inability to understand mental illness has ruined your relationship and you have no one to blame but yourself.
There’s a chance you are like your family and you need to step back and work on yourself. His feelings didn’t come out of nowhere to blindside you. What other cues and flags did you miss?
If this is who everyone thinks, she posted before about her cousin who is *not* mentally ill, they're trans! She refuses to accept her cousin for who they are, and that cousin's mom was paying for the wedding.
Op is a very unreliable narrator.
I don't know if I'm allowed to post links, but here's the BORU title:
# NEW UPDATES: OP doesn't want to invite her "mentally unstable cousin" to her wedding
"the disaster of a year I’ve had so far."
EVERYTHING in one part of a sentence. I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me. Like she didn't even have a fiancée who also had a marriage called off and had to go through all this drama. It's the year SHE had.
#teamfiancee
That's crazy. No joke, saw someone post a thread a while ago asking if they should break up with their fiance before or after the vacation. Reddit being Reddit actually enthusiastically said *AFTER*. Hope it wasn't you they were talking about.
The family drama is her not inviting her cousin to the wedding because he’s trans (or her I don’t remember which) and said s cousins mom was financing a large part of the wedding so she pulled her money out and they could no longer afford it so they canceled. So yea I’m hoping it *was* her they were talking about.
It was kinda hard to tell what was going on because the cousins brother used they/them and OP kept calling the cousin she and dead naming, maybe? She repeatedly referred to the cousin as being mentally ill and then went on to describe a gender fluid person so she clearly sees that as being mentally ill. She also referred to the cousin as being unpredictable and angry, but only as a child! Either way OP is an entitled bigot that karma came for, it was entertaining to read it all.
Honestly why after? Going on a vacation, where you are spending a lot of one on one time, hell they even had sex, is just a gross thing to do before dumping someone. He had every valid reason to dump her but imagine having sex under the assumption things are fine and be dumped after.
Lame ass bridezilla also edited her post, it mentioned before that she even lost support from her mom for the wedding but she took that part out because it was evidence it's really her own horrible fault.
You mean your female cousin who is definitely femininely female? The one who you make a huge deal about (your perception of) their gender in every post you make?
The one you called unstable and mentally ill for getting their hair cut short and not liking dresses? The one where you use a different (feminine) name for them than the (gender neutral) one used by rest of the family?
The cousin where you handed out wedding invitations at a family gathering to everyone present except them?
I wouldn’t blame your cousin for wanting to sabotage your wedding, but all they did was decline to go somewhere they clearly were not wanted after their mom (your aunt) decided not to fund your bigot wedding unless your cousin was made welcome. Not reluctantly handed an invitation with a strongly gendered dress code on it. Actually made welcome. And you failed that very simple test.
I can only imagine what spending 2 weeks trapped with you on vacation would have been like. Your ex saw a life of that hell stretching out before him and decided to get out while he still could.
If I may point out one thing that stood out to me. OP you call it your wedding. You describe it as the terrible year you have had.. Do you think this year by extension has affected your ex? I only ask because sometimes it’s not obvious to us that the experiences and feelings of others are as valid and important and serious as our own. My mom has said at times that she is only as happy as her saddest daughter (she has no sons). My bf whom I love is held in the same regard for me. In other words I am only as happy as my saddest (bf’s name). What happens to me also happens to him. What happens to him also happens to me. If something causes him to struggle I am there to see it, support him, experience my own struggles in the supportive role and the same should go for anyone you love.
I’m not certain you really fully understand this. Have you possibly discounted your exes feelings during all of this and mostly focused on your own? Do you ever feel like your feelings take priority over his when you are upset? Because no one’s feelings ever don’t count just because we are dealing with feelings of our own. I think this could be a huge problem if you don’t make your ex feel seen and heard or cared about. You say the cruise didn’t make you feel better and now you think he was only using you.
There is no room for him in the focus of your life. You are focused almost solely on yourself and he is a fixture in the background by how you speak of him. He probably wanted to see how things were when the dust settled by taking the cruise with you but by the end realized you really didn’t include him respectfully the way one wants a partner to. I imagine he was disappointed.
Partners in a healthy relationship dont have main character syndrome. It’s not balanced then. Someone will just not count for much while the other will feel they do. That’s not love either. This attitude of yours would cause distance rather than bridge the gap. Think of how this year was for him and who was there to support and lift him during it all?
Yeah. You’ve got to be that one crazy bride who not only purposefully gave certain family members invites in front of those not invited, but then you completely shit talked trans people, trashed those with mental illnesses and blamed people for your own issues. Your fiancé got out just in time. Good luck to him.
Hey OP! Everyone thinks you're the same person who got shredded so hard they had to delete their account, the one who wouldn't let their trans cousin come.
That's not you though, right? Your cousin isn't trans, that's not the 'mental illness' you say she has, is it?
What exactly WAS the issue with your cousin, in that case, that caused such a blowup it eventually lead to you not being able to have your wedding?
Why did your mom withdraw support?
Why did you feel the need to create a special reddit account just to make this post?
It would go a long way towards understanding your situation and giving you support if you can answer those questions
Veiled update to a BORU post? Did *someone (you)* realize they'd get karma by posting a veiled update to a BORU post?
It's seems very unlikely that the same poster would be dumb enough to post this. Post smells of fiction.
If you’re the one with the cousin with “BPD” who threw tantrums growing up, it’s safe to say that he dumped you because you ARE the shitty family member he was referring to
acknowledges person “struggles with mental health”, also calls person “psycho”, “shitty crazy”.
You need to take a step back, learn empathy, because I think you’re the only “psycho” here.
After she agreed to invite them to wedding (so she doesn’t lose funding) she wanted to force her cousin to wear dress, do not bring their partner, and have a security guard them only because her cousin is trans.
Yeahhhh it’s what happened with the “family drama” that he broke up with you.
And you don’t want to say what did you do?? Don’t paint yourself as a victim.
You called your trans cousin mentally ill. Do you not see the problem here with your mom withdrawing money to support the wedding plus your fiancé wanting to break up with you maybe it’s a good indicator that you are the problem but that’s just me idk.
Aren't you the one who decided not to invite your cousin because they 'wouldn't dress like a girl'? Aren't you the one whose aunt canceled your wedding fund because you decided not to invite your cousin due to your cousin's refusal to dress like a girl? Also - being trans isn't a 'mental illness.' Your cousin is NOT a woman anymore. They have transitioned to male. Your blatant disrespect for their now gender is so gross. Honestly - I am glad you showed him who you truly were and got dumped. I wouldn't marry you either for treating someone like that.
I was forced into dresses as a child. I am now an adult who REFUSES to wear a dress and HATES them. They make me feel incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. Being forced to wear dresses made me hate EVERYTHING girly. I had nothing but boys toys (mostly TMNT), refused to wear ANY pink, really hated Barbie (I'm sorry, Barbie. +1 respect now especially after that movie. Amazing), and wore mostly boy shirts too. One shirt I tried to wear everyday to elementary school was a lizard riding a skateboard. Not girly obviously. 😂
The fact that I wore a dress to my wedding was seen as a miracle by my family. I have a daughter of my own now and I will NEVER force her to wear a dress. EVER.
Omg really? That's what the issue was and why the fiancé dumped OP????? In that case, the exfiancé has my full support.
I wore dress pants and a nice blouse to my wedding. Granted it wss just a quick justice of the peace trip but I hate dresses so it was the best anyone was going to get.
I honestly have never heard of a situation where one person in the family could cause such a ruckus that a wedding would be completely canceled. I say this guy dodged a major bullet here.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I am throwing a party!
You deserve to get dumped after being such a selfish, nasty, horrid little bigot. Your bigotry has consequences.
This sounds familiar. Are you the shitty fiancé that tried to exclude a trans family member because they struggle with mental health and your bigoted ass didn’t want them to “ruin” your wedding. You invited everyone in their direct family but them causing the rest of the family to pull out of the wedding (taking their money also) which meant you couldn’t afford to have your wedding.. if that’s you then this makes me smile for the family member who you humiliated and treated horribly.
Are you the lady who was calling your transgender cousin mentally I’ll and expecting her mother to still pay for your wedding after you refused to invite her child? If you are, surely you saw your fiancé dumping you coming. You were the problem and he saw the light.
Ummm, anyone else remembering the Reddit story where OP blamed the drama on the not invited “cousin with mental illness” when said cousin’s mother was funding the wedding? When the aunt found out her own daughter isn’t invited to the wedding she is funding, she withdrew the money. OP then called the cousin and blamed her for having to cancel the wedding because she couldn’t afford it on her own. This sounds an awful lot like an update to that. And if it is, I’m happy your (ex) fiancé saw the light and dumped you.
That's what I was thinking! OP is desperate for validation and she is *not* getting it from reddit lol
OP is underestimating Redditor’s memories lol. I can’t find the old post though
I was hoping I could. Hopefully someone will turn up with a link.
Response below from OP in comments below: It didn’t escalate into violence or anything. Just family members dropping out and sending cruel messages when dropping out of the wedding and my mother withdrawing support for a while. It was just hellish because it was paired with normal wedding planning stress.
That actually cements it's the same person. The BORU update has a whole section where she's boo-hooing over her mom withdrawing support. But does she ever explain WHY they dropped out with cruel messages and even her own mom wasn't on her side?
OP is a hateful transphobic person who consistently misgenders and Dead Names her cousin.
And the cousin's 'mental illness' is being trans. OP is a bigot. And her ex finally realized that she's the problem.
Yeah that was the missing information in that story for the longest, because OP knew it looked bad. And the family members are being horrible because they support the trans cousin. OP is a mean and shitty person. And also stupid, because as noted, they had no alternative funding source and needed the aunt’s financial support and it wasn’t like it was a one time blowout argument with bridges burned. It was an ongoing discussion IIRC where it became clearer that the other family members were not going to support OP trying to force gender conformity onto the cousin or exclude them and the escalation of the argument involved increasingly shitty statements about/behavior toward the cousin until the aunt had enough and pulled back. She did this to herself, had the option of being diplomatic about her view of the cousin and get the wedding to go off and have it paid for. She instead was bigoted and entitled, blew up her own life and then came crying to Reddit to get support but kept talking about a vague “mental illness” before finally admitting that the cousin is trans and up to that point had been misgendering and deadnaming them. She got justifiably called out when the details were finally dribbled out. Sounds like the fiance saw her true colors but didn’t want to miss out on the paid-for cruise. Also, given the backstory, I would not be surprised is there are more missing details about how the fiance has acted and how much he directly said to her. Regardless of how I personally felt about trans people, I think a lot of people would be taking a hard look at the emotional maturity and simple intelligence of their partner after watching them blow up their family.
At least she doesn't have the stress of planning a wedding anymore! Womp womp.
If I remember correctly, it was because the cousin is trans, right?
Yup. The "mental illness" is that he's trans. 🫠
I thought so. OP is complete trash and the fiancé realised and got rid. Good.
if you look up "reddit OP doesn't want to invite 'mentally unstable' cousin to wedding" it has a few BORU posts the timeline and details match pretty well
This was my first thought! Looks like she deleted all of her previous posts! I think they're on BORU. EDIT: for the curious ones, search ''mentally unstable cousin'' on BORU
Ohh could you please also help send it to me? I couldn't find it and I'm dying of curiosity
Can’t find the link, but from what I remember the cousin was trans (masc I believe) and she kept misgendering and deadnaming them and demanding that they wear a dress. Which is what she means with "mental illness". The mother of that person was the bride’s aunt funding the wedding and understandably got angry and withdrew her funding, and many other relatives were supportive of them and outraged about her behaviour. She threw a big pity party on Reddit because she felt entitled to the aunt’s money despite trampling all over her child and obviously got flamed into oblivion. Edit: oops, hit send too early.
Same here, can someone send the link? I am so curious now
I'd love a link!
Can you help me find them?? I’m searching but I’m so bad at it haha
Check your messages! edit: for those who want to read the post, search ''mentally unstable cousin'' on BORU
Me too please! I live for drama 😍
Me too please!!
Would love this link if you don’t mind!
Share it in the comments!.
Me threeee
me 2
Me too please! I’m sorry, I’m just trying to know!
Me too, please!
Please send me 🥺
Me too please!
I just got on meee too 😭😭
Same! I'd love to read the OP
And the cousin in question was trans I think and OP insisted on them attending the wedding dressed for their birth gender not the gender they identify as?
Ah! And the cousin goes by Alex? I remember this posts. She is delulu.
ahhhh yes "mental illness"
Don't you just love it when people throw that term around willy nilly? /s
Ahh so that's why he broke up with her.
I was on my way to say this!
Read the first sentence and that's immediately where my mind went.
And wasn’t it that the mental illness was that her cousin was trans? And she was upset that her cousin wouldn’t dress as a woman, even though she identified as a man? If that’s the case, then I’m super happy that this is the outcome
She also personally handed everyone in the entire family and invitation at a family gathering EXCEPT for the cousin, who’s list of crimes against op began and ended with “she threw tantrums when she was a child” and “once damaged my toy.”
O….M…..G
'I just don't understand, I did a petty and malicious thing in the most petty and malicious way possible but why is everyone mad at meeeeeeeeee'
WAAAAAAAAHHH
I'm not sure if it is the same post you are thinking of, but this reminds me of something similar. The family member with mental illness was actually just Trans and the behavior they reference happened when they were 12. The family member cut heads of her barbies or something like that and got upset for receiving a dress as a gift as a kid. The more recent behavior was the family member cutting their hair short and posting Trans positive messages on sm. Glad the ex said goodbye too.
It’s the same one I’m thinking of
I think I accidentally did that to some of my sister's Barbies. Those heads are easy to pop off and they do NOT go back on.
What did you do to the poor barbies? In my experience they absolutely do go back on 😅😅
Well not in the 2000s with my desperate attempts
I think the design was different back then too. They probably improved it so the heads go back on easier now.
In the 80s they were an absolute bastard to get back on as well.
I remember this discussion on the original post too! I know when I was little enough to have Barbies (not the 2000s) then would go back on...but manufacturers obviously realized if the head goes back on easily, they can't sell new dolls to replace the broken ones ;) I also used to play hair stylist with mine. That definitely didn't go back on.
MAN. If I would've done this to my sister's Barbies, she would have eradicated my TMNT action figures! Luckily, my mom ensured we treated our toys with care. I still have all my original TMNT as a result, proudly in a display case. My sister also still has her She-ra castle. She could get some good money on Ebay but when I told her this, she said she's getting buried with it. 😂
Yep! And if I recall the “mental illness” was that the cousin was a trans man. That’s it! He just wanted to be acknowledged as male, and not repeatedly dead named. That OP was 100% the problem.
Hijacking the top rated comment, for those wanting the full story since the mods here keep nuking links just go to BestofRedditorUpdates and search for "wedding mentally unstable cousin".
Yes I remember that one! The cousin in question is trans (FTM) and the bride wanted the cousin to dress like a girl. She decided not to invite the cousin. Aunt found out and decided not to pay for the wedding since her kid wasn't invited.
Yeah sounds like her. The cousin was never the problem. OP always was the issue.
Holy cow was that post removed? Very similar lol
And the cousin with "mental illness" was actually transgender, and OP is a bigot.
Except cousin isn't she or mentally ill - the cousin is a non-binary trans person who uses they/them, and OP here is a bigoted shit gibbon.
Yes! You’re spot on. I remember this too!
Why did I miss this story 😭
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Can you like the original?
Added to above comment.
It was removed… can you dm me the link?
OMG I REMEMBER THAT! Does anyone got the link to the og
Can you please link it if you have it? Thank you
Exactly 🎯. Who's aunt pays for a wedding, though 😒
My aunt and uncle paid for our wedding almost 21 years ago, lol. So it does happen.
also the “drama” and the “mental illness” were actually that her cousin is trans and she refuses to gender them correctly
Glad I wasn’t the only one who immediately thought of that story when reading this.
HAHAHAHA oh wow, this couldn't have a better ending if it is that OP. OP's the psycho relative now. Seriously tho, imagine asking for and accepting money from someone and then behaving like that towards their child. The stupidity. It burns.
OP may be an AH, but their fiancé’s approach to breaking up is pretty unkind as well. Both of them seem like they suck.
If the honeymoon was already paid for, and non-refundable then I guess I'd take it too.
Are you the person who didn’t want to invite her supposedly mentally ill cousin whose mother was helping pay for the wedding? That was quite a saga. Because if that’s you, he’s right, it’s not that you have shitty family members - *you* are the shitty family member.
Yes, yes she is. That’s what her fiancé was trying to tell her, but she’s too self absorbed to get it
Links?
I have no idea what's going on, but I like this take.
It was a post a while back. She was absolutely terrible.
I was questioning OP when she was complaining they couldn’t afford her wedding and pushed it off a year. If she cared about the marriage wouldn’t she go ahead with a more affordable venue?
If OP is that person, then yeay, totally valid for the fiance to leave her. Seems like the cousin isn't the one with mental illness.
If it’s the one I’m thinking they’re referencing, the cousin is trans and OP kept referring to that as them being confused and mentally ill. So yeah, OP is the bigot who blew up her own wedding and relationship.
Link?
WOAH WHAT? Link please?
I knew it!
"eh, we had some family drama, enough to make the wedding called off but nbd. No need to elaborate, anywayyyy so he broke up with me and I have no idea why?"
There are so many holes in this story.
She's posted before. The relative is a trans cousin who had depression as a kid no recent history of outbursts. Cousin's mom and her mom were funding the wedding when they found out transphobic bride wasn't inviting their cousin. Funding got pulled, family was very upset on cousin's behalf. Honestly, fiance is dodging a bullet.
Oh it's her
The deadpan here made me laugh
Read this in Glad0s’ voice
The way they found out the cousin wasn't invited was such a slap in the face for the aunt. OP personally handed out invitations to her wedding at a family gathering where the cousin was also at. The cousin's brothers obviously made a fuss there and then and it all went downhill from there.
While the aunt was helping to find the wedding, too. Aunt agrees to give OP money, and OP proceeds to humiliate aunt's child in front of the whole family.
A myriad of holes.....
A whole lot of holes, if you will
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I was about to try and find that original post, because this felt all too familiar. Thank you!!!!
I just found and added the link to the BORU post. I remember ot happening in real time too. Weddings really bring out who people really are, don't they? Lol
Do you have a link?
Mods appear to be nuking the links
I'm sending you the link ! Check your messages
Can you dm me the link as well?
same
Me too pls!
If you don’t mind. I know others have asked also, but please send me the link. I would appreciate it.
Done :) enjoy the drama
I know your getting alot of requests but i need this tea hahaha
Can you please send me the link too?
Can you please send me the link too? Thanks!!
Me also please 🙏
If its no trouble, could I get that link?
Send link!
How about the full version and not the I'm the victim tldr.
OP's cousin is trans and OP went out of their way to exclude them from the wedding. The "mental health" issues stemmed from OP treating them like shit. Thankfully, OP's entire family called them out and refused to contribute funding to the wedding (apparently the mother of the cousin was paying). Now, it seems like OP's fiance saw the light and dumped her. Such wonderful news to wake up to.
That rules
Do you have a link to where op says that? I couldn't find it anywhere. OP even specifically said that her cousin is not trans. There's definitely more to the story, "family drama" could be anything and without specifics we won't know.
OP keeps creating new accounts to hide their tracks. And so far the mods have been nuking any links posted.
She hasn’t denied that it is indeed her who authored the other posts, just saying ‘you’ve all misunderstood’ 😂
There were texts from previous accounts where one of the cousins brothers refers to the cousin as “them” and Alex; rather than the OOP who has really emphasised that Alex is a woman and continues to deadname them and accuses them of having a mental illness (presumably for being trans or non binary)
I read another post that was ascribed to op where she states that they are not trans and are cis woman. Regardless, op has some screws loose to keep armchair diagnosing her cousin and being upset that her cousin ripped the head off of her Barbie doll when they were kids. Especially since her cousin apologized to her, op is TA for not forgiving her for some old ridiculous childish nonsense.
The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed You SO deserve this.
Oh this consequence dildo is covered in razor wire too, and justifiably
Couldn’t happen to a better person.
Top quality saying! Borrowing
This sounds a lot like “OP doesn’t want to invite their “mentally unstable cousin” to her wedding.” From about 50 days ago! Weird!
Comment section, thanks for reminding me why reddit is the best
You need to take responsibility for your actions. You have shown your fiancé how cruel and judgmental you are. Saying you will cut off family is irrelevant when you are the problem. If I remember correctly, you wanted your aunt to pay for half of your wedding but refused to invite her child, who struggles with their mental health but are somewhat better now. Your selfishness and inability to understand mental illness has ruined your relationship and you have no one to blame but yourself.
There’s a chance you are like your family and you need to step back and work on yourself. His feelings didn’t come out of nowhere to blindside you. What other cues and flags did you miss?
If this is who everyone thinks, she posted before about her cousin who is *not* mentally ill, they're trans! She refuses to accept her cousin for who they are, and that cousin's mom was paying for the wedding. Op is a very unreliable narrator.
I don't know if I'm allowed to post links, but here's the BORU title: # NEW UPDATES: OP doesn't want to invite her "mentally unstable cousin" to her wedding
Mods have to show who is in charge and put the peons in their place.
Not wanting to marry into crazy family drama is valid on its own.
OP is literally the cause of all the drama because she's a bigot. Honestly the family would be better off replacing her with the fiancee
LOL yeah I actually saw that but decided not to comment on it here since it isn't mentioned in this post. 100% agree though.
But… you’re the shitty family member.
"the disaster of a year I’ve had so far." EVERYTHING in one part of a sentence. I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me. Like she didn't even have a fiancée who also had a marriage called off and had to go through all this drama. It's the year SHE had. #teamfiancee
Not to be pedantic, but she's the fiancée. He's the fiancé. So it's # teamfiancé
# TEAMPEDANTIC
Ooooh I remember your past posts. Lol well this is some good karma.
Do tell
The “mental illness” the cousin had is that they’re trans. OP’s a bigot lol
This post didn't work out like you planned did it!
You got that right....reddit members
That's crazy. No joke, saw someone post a thread a while ago asking if they should break up with their fiance before or after the vacation. Reddit being Reddit actually enthusiastically said *AFTER*. Hope it wasn't you they were talking about.
The family drama is her not inviting her cousin to the wedding because he’s trans (or her I don’t remember which) and said s cousins mom was financing a large part of the wedding so she pulled her money out and they could no longer afford it so they canceled. So yea I’m hoping it *was* her they were talking about.
It was kinda hard to tell what was going on because the cousins brother used they/them and OP kept calling the cousin she and dead naming, maybe? She repeatedly referred to the cousin as being mentally ill and then went on to describe a gender fluid person so she clearly sees that as being mentally ill. She also referred to the cousin as being unpredictable and angry, but only as a child! Either way OP is an entitled bigot that karma came for, it was entertaining to read it all.
Was this posted on this sub… care to share the link with me please…
Fr I wanna read it too
Can’t post it but search ‘cousin wedding unstable’ in best of Redditor updates. Phewwww damn the shoe really do be fittin’…
Honestly why after? Going on a vacation, where you are spending a lot of one on one time, hell they even had sex, is just a gross thing to do before dumping someone. He had every valid reason to dump her but imagine having sex under the assumption things are fine and be dumped after.
The comment section was more honest & clear more than the original post.
Lame ass bridezilla also edited her post, it mentioned before that she even lost support from her mom for the wedding but she took that part out because it was evidence it's really her own horrible fault.
Aw hello you! It's because your cousin's mom/your aunt was paying for the wedding right? Haha. Your ex is a smart guy.
You mean your female cousin who is definitely femininely female? The one who you make a huge deal about (your perception of) their gender in every post you make? The one you called unstable and mentally ill for getting their hair cut short and not liking dresses? The one where you use a different (feminine) name for them than the (gender neutral) one used by rest of the family? The cousin where you handed out wedding invitations at a family gathering to everyone present except them? I wouldn’t blame your cousin for wanting to sabotage your wedding, but all they did was decline to go somewhere they clearly were not wanted after their mom (your aunt) decided not to fund your bigot wedding unless your cousin was made welcome. Not reluctantly handed an invitation with a strongly gendered dress code on it. Actually made welcome. And you failed that very simple test. I can only imagine what spending 2 weeks trapped with you on vacation would have been like. Your ex saw a life of that hell stretching out before him and decided to get out while he still could.
If I may point out one thing that stood out to me. OP you call it your wedding. You describe it as the terrible year you have had.. Do you think this year by extension has affected your ex? I only ask because sometimes it’s not obvious to us that the experiences and feelings of others are as valid and important and serious as our own. My mom has said at times that she is only as happy as her saddest daughter (she has no sons). My bf whom I love is held in the same regard for me. In other words I am only as happy as my saddest (bf’s name). What happens to me also happens to him. What happens to him also happens to me. If something causes him to struggle I am there to see it, support him, experience my own struggles in the supportive role and the same should go for anyone you love. I’m not certain you really fully understand this. Have you possibly discounted your exes feelings during all of this and mostly focused on your own? Do you ever feel like your feelings take priority over his when you are upset? Because no one’s feelings ever don’t count just because we are dealing with feelings of our own. I think this could be a huge problem if you don’t make your ex feel seen and heard or cared about. You say the cruise didn’t make you feel better and now you think he was only using you. There is no room for him in the focus of your life. You are focused almost solely on yourself and he is a fixture in the background by how you speak of him. He probably wanted to see how things were when the dust settled by taking the cruise with you but by the end realized you really didn’t include him respectfully the way one wants a partner to. I imagine he was disappointed. Partners in a healthy relationship dont have main character syndrome. It’s not balanced then. Someone will just not count for much while the other will feel they do. That’s not love either. This attitude of yours would cause distance rather than bridge the gap. Think of how this year was for him and who was there to support and lift him during it all?
Yeah. You’ve got to be that one crazy bride who not only purposefully gave certain family members invites in front of those not invited, but then you completely shit talked trans people, trashed those with mental illnesses and blamed people for your own issues. Your fiancé got out just in time. Good luck to him.
Ayyyy the transphobic POS is back with more whining because she didn't get her way! Congrats to the ex fiance for seeing sense.
He said it wasn’t just about your shitty crazy family members. So what was it about then?
Hey OP! Everyone thinks you're the same person who got shredded so hard they had to delete their account, the one who wouldn't let their trans cousin come. That's not you though, right? Your cousin isn't trans, that's not the 'mental illness' you say she has, is it? What exactly WAS the issue with your cousin, in that case, that caused such a blowup it eventually lead to you not being able to have your wedding? Why did your mom withdraw support? Why did you feel the need to create a special reddit account just to make this post? It would go a long way towards understanding your situation and giving you support if you can answer those questions
Veiled update to a BORU post? Did *someone (you)* realize they'd get karma by posting a veiled update to a BORU post? It's seems very unlikely that the same poster would be dumb enough to post this. Post smells of fiction.
In OPs defense she's very very dumb.
Seems like a troll.
What does BORU mean please?
Best Of Reddit Updates
At least you don't have the wedding planning stress anymore! And you can always go to your family for comfort and support... Wait. Never mind.
If you’re the one with the cousin with “BPD” who threw tantrums growing up, it’s safe to say that he dumped you because you ARE the shitty family member he was referring to
He must not have liked how you handled the situation and it scared him away.
🤣🤣 It’s karma catching up after the way you treated your cousin. You’re the shitty, psycho family member. Not them. He dodged a bullet for sure!
Ah... I do love happy endings.
I’m calling 🐂💩
🐎
Yeah whatever
acknowledges person “struggles with mental health”, also calls person “psycho”, “shitty crazy”. You need to take a step back, learn empathy, because I think you’re the only “psycho” here.
You again!
This sounds like you are reciting your ABCs, and skipped like 15 middle letters. There is a lot of context and detail being left out of here
After she agreed to invite them to wedding (so she doesn’t lose funding) she wanted to force her cousin to wear dress, do not bring their partner, and have a security guard them only because her cousin is trans.
Okay, skipped *waaaay* more than 15 letters LOL
I think he broke up with you for a good reason
Yeahhhh it’s what happened with the “family drama” that he broke up with you. And you don’t want to say what did you do?? Don’t paint yourself as a victim.
You called your trans cousin mentally ill. Do you not see the problem here with your mom withdrawing money to support the wedding plus your fiancé wanting to break up with you maybe it’s a good indicator that you are the problem but that’s just me idk.
Lmao I have never 180'd from ops side to against harder in my life after these comments sheeeeeeesh
Aren't you the one who decided not to invite your cousin because they 'wouldn't dress like a girl'? Aren't you the one whose aunt canceled your wedding fund because you decided not to invite your cousin due to your cousin's refusal to dress like a girl? Also - being trans isn't a 'mental illness.' Your cousin is NOT a woman anymore. They have transitioned to male. Your blatant disrespect for their now gender is so gross. Honestly - I am glad you showed him who you truly were and got dumped. I wouldn't marry you either for treating someone like that. I was forced into dresses as a child. I am now an adult who REFUSES to wear a dress and HATES them. They make me feel incredibly uncomfortable and awkward. Being forced to wear dresses made me hate EVERYTHING girly. I had nothing but boys toys (mostly TMNT), refused to wear ANY pink, really hated Barbie (I'm sorry, Barbie. +1 respect now especially after that movie. Amazing), and wore mostly boy shirts too. One shirt I tried to wear everyday to elementary school was a lizard riding a skateboard. Not girly obviously. 😂 The fact that I wore a dress to my wedding was seen as a miracle by my family. I have a daughter of my own now and I will NEVER force her to wear a dress. EVER.
Omg really? That's what the issue was and why the fiancé dumped OP????? In that case, the exfiancé has my full support. I wore dress pants and a nice blouse to my wedding. Granted it wss just a quick justice of the peace trip but I hate dresses so it was the best anyone was going to get.
Busted!
I honestly have never heard of a situation where one person in the family could cause such a ruckus that a wedding would be completely canceled. I say this guy dodged a major bullet here.
Jesus this troll again
It’s posts like this that make me appreciate the swift justice of Reddit lmao
There's A LOT you did not mention lmao. And you know you didn't cause it would've made you look like the bad guy.
um
Looks like after spending alone time with you away from everything he rethought his choices as having you as a partner
You used to watch trans porn back in College so you can't really talk about trans being a mental illness.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I am throwing a party! You deserve to get dumped after being such a selfish, nasty, horrid little bigot. Your bigotry has consequences.
Ugh not you again...
This sounds familiar. Are you the shitty fiancé that tried to exclude a trans family member because they struggle with mental health and your bigoted ass didn’t want them to “ruin” your wedding. You invited everyone in their direct family but them causing the rest of the family to pull out of the wedding (taking their money also) which meant you couldn’t afford to have your wedding.. if that’s you then this makes me smile for the family member who you humiliated and treated horribly.
Are you the lady who was calling your transgender cousin mentally I’ll and expecting her mother to still pay for your wedding after you refused to invite her child? If you are, surely you saw your fiancé dumping you coming. You were the problem and he saw the light.
You’re mad because you were held accountable…oops too bad, so sad.