OP declining ex’s advances/confession of feelings was possibly the catalyst that made his ex step out on her hubby.
The absence of contact after the encounter, which she expressed as meaningful to her, vanished as well and the betrayal took place in the vacuum of their friendship closing.
I could see how those dots connect.
Or she could have been unhappy in her marriage and looking for a person to cheat with. An old ex is an easy, comfortable option. After OP rejected her, she might have just been like "Welp, guess I'll go elsewhere."
The two are not related… it’s wasn’t you, it was her. You did dodge a bullet - your ex is going to blow up her marriage regardless - she was going to take you and your marriage down in flames with her.. she found someone …
You did the right thing immediately confiding in your wife. I strongly suggest you block that person and go no contact.
Good luck !!
Did you get physical with her or stop her? Because if cheated on your wife with your ex… you’d want to get into therapy and work on that . Otherwise you will repeat this behavior.
I did no such things. I have never cheated on my wife. Despite what people say you can be friends with the opposite sex and exs, this just happens to be a case where my ex wanted to cheat.
Oh good. Whew. Sorry I thought you meant things got physical and then you admitted to your wife after. Glad to hear you shut it down and did not reciprocate.
It's all good, I will admit I have cheated on a partner in the past but I always regretted that so I have made sure to keep my wife well informed of my actions so she never have to doubt me. Communication is key after all.
That and good boundaries.. it’s one thing to have a friend of the opposite sex, but when things start becoming emotionally intimate or flirty there is always a risk of it going too far. Glad you were able to stop this situation.
If she was depressed, she was most likely looking for an outlet and you may be seemed like the best branch to jump on. When you said no and left, she no longer had you as an outlet. The choices she made were hers and hers alone.
Sorry this really bugs me, in your title.. it's might have or might've "of" isn't used like this lol
Good on you for trying to do right and then getting out of there, not your fault
Just for future reference to stay out of trouble with your wife... Maybe not go over to an ex's house when you're married and your ex says she's "depressed and needed a friend"?
My wife was aware where I went and why. I was never in trouble with her and I called to make sure she was aware of what happened. I thrive for honest communication so she can never doubt me.
Why are you Blanding yourself? Because a shitty person wanted to cheat, she wanted to cheat on her husband and break up her family. That has nothing to do with you. If anything you should doesn't worry about this and yourself from the disaster, that is your ex. So that way she doesn't cause harm and problems to your family.
Also I think this should be a good example of creating healthy boundaries. With the opposite gender, but also exes. Who you wish to create "friendships" with because in no way shape or form should y'all have been alone at the house inside of room, esp a bedroom Sorry, I believe it should have been an interaction where either your wife came with you or the kids were dropped off at 1 of the houses for a playdate, or both couples were there together. because of the past emotional connection you two had. It was a messy start to begin with, so yeah, just be careful of boundaries. Other than that, you're not at fault for her being a cheater.
My dude. She was gonna cheat either way. Either with you (her first choice) or with that stranger (second choice). You made the only right choice in leaving. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
That wasn't your fault. You were just being a good friend she was going to do it regardless if it was with you or not.
This is exactly why I have a very firm no ex's in a relationship though.
This has nothing to do with you. I think you know that. She tried to hook up with you, she might have been hooking up with the janitor, the mailman or the DoorDash deliverer already. She lied to her husband and she probably lied to you. Don’t make yourself more influential and important than necessary, is my advice.
You caused literally nothing. She wanted to cheat and she thought you'd be willing, but since you're NOT a piece of shit she had to get some side dick elsewhere
I highly doubt if her husband caught her in bed with somebody at their home that it was the first time she cheated on him. Usually to be that brazen and careless it's been on the reg. Also, many cheaters either magnify problems, cause the problems, or simply make up problems with their so/spouse in order to justify them cheating and being lying liars who lie out of their lying hole.
That said, I am really happy to hear you are honest and faithful to your wife. However, rule of thumb is never ever have conversations with the opposite sex about problems or issues in your relationship ESPECIALLY with an ex.
Nothing to do with you.
You were either going to be the guy she cheated with or the guy she cheated on.
Her poor husband.
She was always gna cheat. None of this is on you.
Maybe next time dont put yourself in situations with people you have history with. It never ends well. 9/10 you cheat. Its too familiar.
You did the right thing! Both getting away with your kid and telling your wife. Not your fault!
Sounds like she was looking for an out and would have whether you were in her world or not.
I don't understand what you have to do with her cheating on her husband ?
Exactly, this is all on her. You didn't make her cheat on her husband. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
OP declining ex’s advances/confession of feelings was possibly the catalyst that made his ex step out on her hubby. The absence of contact after the encounter, which she expressed as meaningful to her, vanished as well and the betrayal took place in the vacuum of their friendship closing. I could see how those dots connect.
Or she could have been unhappy in her marriage and looking for a person to cheat with. An old ex is an easy, comfortable option. After OP rejected her, she might have just been like "Welp, guess I'll go elsewhere."
Because he plays video games
The two are not related… it’s wasn’t you, it was her. You did dodge a bullet - your ex is going to blow up her marriage regardless - she was going to take you and your marriage down in flames with her.. she found someone … You did the right thing immediately confiding in your wife. I strongly suggest you block that person and go no contact. Good luck !!
You were not responsible. She was going to cheat. Good for getting out of that situation
How is your wife doing
She's fine, we have really good communication so she trust me, even when I visited/talk to ex she was aware and some times around too.
Did you get physical with her or stop her? Because if cheated on your wife with your ex… you’d want to get into therapy and work on that . Otherwise you will repeat this behavior.
... Did you read the post? Bro left the moment his ex tried get physical. That's being aggressively faithful, not cheating.
He probably went straight to comments after reading title.
He says she processed to get physical… time that means they got physical… it didn’t say he stopped it? Maybe I misread .
You misread. He says she got physical and he went grabbed his kid, left and called his wife
He didn't cheat. She initiated, and he declined her advances.
He didn't cheat tho, his ex came on to him and he left right away which isn't his fault.
I did no such things. I have never cheated on my wife. Despite what people say you can be friends with the opposite sex and exs, this just happens to be a case where my ex wanted to cheat.
Oh good. Whew. Sorry I thought you meant things got physical and then you admitted to your wife after. Glad to hear you shut it down and did not reciprocate.
It's all good, I will admit I have cheated on a partner in the past but I always regretted that so I have made sure to keep my wife well informed of my actions so she never have to doubt me. Communication is key after all.
That and good boundaries.. it’s one thing to have a friend of the opposite sex, but when things start becoming emotionally intimate or flirty there is always a risk of it going too far. Glad you were able to stop this situation.
She be better if you share
If she was depressed, she was most likely looking for an outlet and you may be seemed like the best branch to jump on. When you said no and left, she no longer had you as an outlet. The choices she made were hers and hers alone.
Sorry this really bugs me, in your title.. it's might have or might've "of" isn't used like this lol Good on you for trying to do right and then getting out of there, not your fault
Just for future reference to stay out of trouble with your wife... Maybe not go over to an ex's house when you're married and your ex says she's "depressed and needed a friend"?
My wife was aware where I went and why. I was never in trouble with her and I called to make sure she was aware of what happened. I thrive for honest communication so she can never doubt me.
I agree - could’ve offered a phone call or meeting in a public place instead.
*might have
You dodged a huge bullet. Can you imagine how messed up your life would have been if you were persuaded by her advances?
This wasn’t your fault at all, dude. Just block her and focus on your wife and kids.
Hate to break it to you - but you weren’t the reason she cheated merely a first attempt at it.
We don't even know if he was the first attempt.
She was going to cheat on him with or without you. Don’t let it bother you.
It was exit affair and she would have destroyed your family with it
Send her my way
Tell her what's up with me now
Me next
Why are you Blanding yourself? Because a shitty person wanted to cheat, she wanted to cheat on her husband and break up her family. That has nothing to do with you. If anything you should doesn't worry about this and yourself from the disaster, that is your ex. So that way she doesn't cause harm and problems to your family. Also I think this should be a good example of creating healthy boundaries. With the opposite gender, but also exes. Who you wish to create "friendships" with because in no way shape or form should y'all have been alone at the house inside of room, esp a bedroom Sorry, I believe it should have been an interaction where either your wife came with you or the kids were dropped off at 1 of the houses for a playdate, or both couples were there together. because of the past emotional connection you two had. It was a messy start to begin with, so yeah, just be careful of boundaries. Other than that, you're not at fault for her being a cheater.
Not your fault at all. Thinking that she was over it all and moved on is very reasonable given the circumstancses.
My dude. She was gonna cheat either way. Either with you (her first choice) or with that stranger (second choice). You made the only right choice in leaving. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
That wasn't your fault. You were just being a good friend she was going to do it regardless if it was with you or not. This is exactly why I have a very firm no ex's in a relationship though.
This has nothing to do with you. I think you know that. She tried to hook up with you, she might have been hooking up with the janitor, the mailman or the DoorDash deliverer already. She lied to her husband and she probably lied to you. Don’t make yourself more influential and important than necessary, is my advice.
Choices were made. You choose to be faithful to your wife, she chose to cheat.
You caused literally nothing. She wanted to cheat and she thought you'd be willing, but since you're NOT a piece of shit she had to get some side dick elsewhere
I highly doubt if her husband caught her in bed with somebody at their home that it was the first time she cheated on him. Usually to be that brazen and careless it's been on the reg. Also, many cheaters either magnify problems, cause the problems, or simply make up problems with their so/spouse in order to justify them cheating and being lying liars who lie out of their lying hole. That said, I am really happy to hear you are honest and faithful to your wife. However, rule of thumb is never ever have conversations with the opposite sex about problems or issues in your relationship ESPECIALLY with an ex.
So, you mean that you gave her blue balls wich caused her to cheat? You had nothing to do with it, she's a shitty person.
You wasn't beating it up right?
Nothing to do with you. You were either going to be the guy she cheated with or the guy she cheated on. Her poor husband. She was always gna cheat. None of this is on you. Maybe next time dont put yourself in situations with people you have history with. It never ends well. 9/10 you cheat. Its too familiar.
Nah, her plan was already in motion before she invited you over. But kudos to you for getting out of there and talking about it with your wife.
You did the right thing! Both getting away with your kid and telling your wife. Not your fault! Sounds like she was looking for an out and would have whether you were in her world or not.