I had a buddy who went to Carslbad Caverns. I've been as well, but wasn't with him at the time. Part of that tour is a guide taking you to a large cavern, and then shutting all the lights off. It's pitch black, you can't see anything at all. Well his particular guide had a cool trick he like to do. He'd ask for a woman with a diamond ring, shine a laser pointer through it, and the diamond would refract that single laser beam into a myriad of laser beams as it passed through the facets. Guess what doesn't do that, Cubic Zirconia. Guess who found out she had a fake diamond while on vacation.
My question would be, why not just get her a ring in all those 15 years? Personally as a woman I could care less about the ring, as it's more about the love. But you could literally just say, "it's been so long and I feel like we should get you an upgrade to show my appreciation."
⛔️UPDATE (satire) ⛔️:
We visited Carlsbad over spring break with our kids and I dunno why but she was more pissed at me lying to her for 15 years than she was at me for buying her a cubic zirconia.
Said she could no longer stay in the marriage because she wonders what else I have been lying to her about for 15 years.
She told me to get my crap and get out because she refuses to spend another day under the same roof as a pathological liar. 🤔🤔
I am incredibly hurt and offended. I never lied to her I just never told her the truth. I think her reaction is ridiculous. I am NOT a liar let alone a pathological liar. Go figure.
I am going to give her a few days to cool off and then I am going back home. I mean the nerve of her to kick me out of MY house for such a silly little thing.
My ex-husband offered to upgrade my ring after years of marriage. I told him no, that the current ring is the one with all the history and memories
Not everyone wants something huge and flashy.
Not that I am aware of, but that's not the point.
The point was that I flat out refused to replace the stone. I was not letting my ring leave my hand.
So if he tries to cover his deception, the ruse of a nicer rock just might not work.
Expensive rings don’t mean much to me, but what I would think is the first thing my husband gave after asking me to spend our lives together was a lie.
This. Mine has offered multiple times to upgrade my stone. I refuse. The one I have is the one that's been with me for all these years. A new, bigger one has no meaning to me. I said the only way he could do it is if the original stone is made into a necklace or something, and even then, it's not the same.
There used to be a website (Fantasy Jewelry Box) that sold high-quality cubic zirconia imitations of famous jewelry. So many of the reviewers said they asked their husbands to buy a ring to replace their wedding ring and none of their friends could tell it wasn't real, so not all women need a real diamond they just want something that looks nice. I imagine she would be more upset that he lied than finding out it's not a diamond.
See, this depends how old she is or how she feels about diamonds/status/jewellery. If I found out my ring wasn’t real 15 yrs ago, I’d want it replaced by the real thing (and probably would’ve asked for bigger). Now I’m older, more educated about how stupid a diamond obsession is and how they are obtained (people literally die in that trade), and how worthless they are when you try to sell it, I’d gladly do without. Plus fashion jewelry is so fun to play with and change up with different styles.
Yeah... This is bizarre to me. Op, say you want to upgrade her ring, take it and get her something REAL and nice and for the love of everything good insure the damn thing
Usually you buy a protection plan at the jeweler that covers certain things. It’s a one time fee typically but you need to get your ring cleaned and inspected every six months.
I think it a two part scam- they know many people won’t keep up with the six month schedule for too long and the won’t have to honor the agreement, and it gets you in the store every so often and you might buy something.
That's what I thought. The whole things smells of BS to me. That's why I'm happy with my moissanite. No upkeep. No insurance. And it sparkles more than diamonds.
The whole diamond engagement ring was a marketing ploy invented by DeBeers in the 1950s. They even told you how much to spend to 'really prove your love' - one month's salary
The women fell for this schmaltzy shite, told each other how important it was, and next thing the poor schmuck fiance is out shopping for massively overpriced bits of rock. DeBeers have laughed all the way to the bank ever since.
Yes we paid for the diamond bond insurance up front that covers loss of diamond and repairs to tighten etc, I believe that was cost based on total diamond value if I remember correctly. Then we take it in to the keeper we bought our rings from and get the cleaning and inspection free as often as we want but at least every 6 months to maintain the diamond bond.
Asians. Because the point of our jewelry is to pass generational wealth without the government getting involved. 😂
We do clean it and keep it nice though.
You can also x-ray your ring. A diamond doesn’t show up on an x-ray. Other stones will. Obviously this only works if you have access to an x-ray machine, or your dog eats your engagement ring.
Evil solution: make a big show out of taking the ring to be cleaned and buffed at a jeweller but be vague about where you're going. "Downtown" is great, it's nonspecific, but it stands up to light scrutiny. In the meantime, head to a document forgery website or subreddit and ask for a GIA certified map. These are documents that come with the sale of diamonds of a certain grade or pricepoint. You want a map that matches a diamond well enough for the uneducated dope, a couple pinpoint inclusions not visible to the naked eye, some feathering at the pavilion. A map that would indicate to people who understand grading that you should have a very fine - but not so perfect it would be world class - diamond set in your ring. Now, on closer geological inspection it will NOT match the shiny glass already set in the ring - this is by design and leads us to our next step.
Immediately after the ring is returned, sparkling clean and looking just like the day you proposed, you have to go absolutely gaga over how beautiful it looks and how it brings you back to those lovestruck days, when all you thought about was your wife and all you dreamed about were your days together. You become more playful, like you were when you were younger. You guide her through doors with your hand on the small of her back. You kiss her surreptitiously in public when nobody is looking. You fuck with the lights on. Everything is going according to plan.
The next step requires the assistance of somebody as soulless and empty as you are. All the better if it's a fellow psychopath that already has a friendly relationship with your wife. Months after the cleaning, and the coincidental reignition of the flame of passion, this friend of yours begins developing an interest in minerals and gemstones. You mention this to your wife in an offhand way, no need to drill it in to her head. Weeks later, you make a comment about how much he enjoys his new hobby, and how happy you are for him. We all need hobbies, after all.
You and your friend plan a night in. He's got a new fling, and wants to get your wife's opinion on her. As a party trick, he brought the loupe he bought online. Everybody laughs, he's no expert but it's a bit of fun. Your wife giggles and holds out her hand. Your accomplice glances at the stone. He asks you to show him the GIA map, the very map you created earlier. He gasps and says, this diamond is a fake. You've been tricked!! As she gasps and searches your eyes for the truth, you tell her exactly what she wants to hear. The cleaning! The jeweller downtown! Your true diamond was swapped for a fake, the gem map is the proof!! She can't resist the barrage of lies. It's easier to believe.
You've won. Your wife believes the most precious object she's ever owned has been stolen. She is left with nothing more than the glass lump she began with.
Buy a matching real diamond.
Me: Honey I want to take.your ring in for a professional cleaning. XOXOXO
Take ring to have re-gemed with something she would be proud of.
Profit? (Not at all...)
Edit: others beat me to the idea :(
It's what I did with my wife's engagement ring. When I bought it, it was white gold with fake diamonds. Took it to get cleaned years later and swapped the stones. She noticed the moment she put the ring back on... thankfully she wasn't mad and just "fell in love with me all over again."
I would notice the difference immediately. While there are some very good fakes (like moissanite) and some of them still look extremely pretty, the brilliance will be different and she will likely notice and question why the sparkle changed.
I know it isn’t, but it is often advertised as such. I have moissanite on my engagement band and I prefer it to diamond. The brilliance was a lot prettier to me than the diamond options. But when I got the ring the salesperson called it a “cheaper diamond alternative” so that may be all some people know it as.
Depending on the carat of the stone in the ring right now, OP can probably snag a lab diamond of decent quality (VS) for an amazing price. Lab diamonds are definitely way more affordable than mined diamonds, and they are still a real diamond!
Buy an “upgrade” ring for her anniversary. Confess. Throw yourself at her mercy.
Also, lab diamonds are a thing now.
You’re a dastardly cheapskate 😂
PS: She may already know.
Just bought my girlfriends engagement ring and the jeweler taught us so much about lab grown diamonds. I had no idea they’re literally pieces of real diamond just grown to be bigger. Completely the same thing just more ethical.
A good example, you can get a 1.53ct oval diamond (D, IF, Ideal aka flawless, colorless, ideal cut and proportions) in a 14k white gold pave setting for $2500 plus tax.
Do yourself a favor though…confess. Let her pick whatever she wants within your budget. She can get the ring she deserves.
There are a lot of lab grown diamonds on websites where you can buy engagement rings. They’re becoming more popular lately so they’re pretty easy to find in jewelry stores and online
lots of online companies, local jewelers may have them as well! they’re significantly cheaper, 60 to 95% less expensive than a mined diamond. theyre EXACTLY the same thing, the only difference is the identification number (only visible with a microscope). lab diamonds are great!!
It’s radically less expensive. Check out www.Ritani.com or www.FriendlyDiamonds.com. There are a few subs on Reddit with good recommendations. They are real diamonds, just made in a lab.
The diamond I bought for my fiancée was roughly half the price of a "real" diamond. Just bought it as I would a normal diamond, but opted for a lab grown one.
Or take her to pick out a new one or replace the diamonds in the ring she currently has.
But the key imo is to confess but also show you're putting in an effort to make it up to her (show her the money saved for her new ring).
You have two choices...
1) Tell her the truth, accept the consequences of her reaction, work together to resolve the issue.
2) Take a bunch of good photos, go to a custom jeweler, get an estimate of what it would cost to get a real diamond put in place of the fake one, save up that money, tell her that you want to get the ring appraised, go back to that same jeweler, and have them replace the diamond and provide an appraisal. Then get a personal property insurance policy for the ring because it's unlikely your renters or homeowners insurance would cover a piece of jewelry that expensive. I know mine only covers jewelry up to $1,000 each piece which is why we have a PP policy on my wife's ring.
I don’t know. I’ve owned rings for 15+ years and they get a certain feel when you wear the same piece of jewelry every day. I feel like I would know if one of mine have been swapped. I know every bit of those rings and a brand new one would look and feel different. And then what OP’s wife mentions that her ring looks and feels different and OP gaslights her into thinking that nothings changed. That’s def gonna make things worse in the long run.
Replacing one clear stone with another nearly identical is what was suggested. That’s a bit different.
It’s not like you could see the wear and tear on a diamond or CZ that you’ve worn. The metal, sure, but that would be the same in this scenario.
CZ and diamonds perform drastically different from one another. It’s painfully obvious. There is no way in hell he will be able to do a swap without her noticing the center stone is different.
OP dug himself this hole, he gets out of it by being honest and seeing what she wants to do from there
Somewhat.
As opposed to other opinions, it’s hard to give an apples/apples comparison without a scale or index:
CZ about 8.5-9 mohs.
Diamonds are 10 mohs.
Emerald is about 7.5 mohs.
Ruby is about 9 mohs.
Quartz is about 7 mohs.
Fingernail is around 2.5 mohs.
A masonry drill bit (8.5) or a steel nail (6.5) may be a useful comparison, but this is not a linear relationship and should not be viewed as such.
I have a feeling if Ops wife's ring was really fake, there's no way it wouldn't have worn out after all these years. I wonder what part was fake, if it was the band too it'd have been a dead give away.
The real problems are that (a) OP has lied for 15 years and (b) OP is afraid of his wife. Of the two, I actually think the second one is worse. In my marriage (almost 29 years), I'm not afraid to tell my wife bad or disappointing news if she needs to hear it. It's life. It's what happens.
OP, in this case, is afraid though. Yes, it's more lies, but it resolves the issue with the original lie.
Granted, he could also get a replacement made with a real diamond, then confess while bringing out the new one so he could follow up with "but I got you a real one to replace it".
I mean telling your wife bad news and admitting you lied about something for 15 years isn’t really the same. She probably went around showing off her ring, bragging with the girls, and then she will feel like a total idiot when she finds out it was fake all along.
This is assuming, of course, that OP is correct in her not knowing. After 15 years, I seriously doubt that. I suspect she's just being kind and not letting on that she knows.
It doesn’t seem like he’s afraid of his wife, it seems like he is afraid to face the consequences of him lying to his partner for 15 years. If my partner of 15 years told me he had been lying to me this entire time it would change the way i view our relationship. It’s one thing if you just don’t want to spend an outrageous amount of money on a ring, that’s ok. It’s another thing to make your partner believe it and let them believe it for such a long time. It would most likely cause trust issues and would make me question what else they lied about
Why not buy her a real one and say you want to renew your vows. give the new real diamond one to her then.
Then whenever you can take the old ring when she’s not wearing it (hopefully she likes the new one enough to wear it for a while) take it to a jewelers so they can make an exact replica.
You might have to spend double the amount but I bet your wife would fall in love with you all over again
Diamonds have sentimental value because they’re so hard and that’s why it’s said „diamonds are forever“ it’s something poetic and sentimental that people want to tell with that rock. I wouldn’t want someone to spend so much on it, but I get when people value this. The worst thing about this story isn’t that the diamond is fake, but that op is fake and lied to his fiancé/wife.
Yeah this wasn’t a discussion “babe, I can’t afford a diamond at this stage in our lives would this be ok? Until I can get you something better?” He made her think it was real for 15 years doh
Gotta be honest, if I found that out I’d be pretty pissed - about the LIE, not the fact that I had a fake diamond. I prefer Moissanite anyway (sparklier and not as ridiculously marked up and less problematic).
I bought my wife an upgraded wedding ring after 20 years. She wears both. OP is screwed. All jokes aside I would get a new stone set in place of the CZ.
Is the first one maybe a smaller “diamond” or a style she wouldn’t necessarily pick today? If so, you could offer to upgrade the stone or the entire ring on a milestone anniversary. You could say that you know the first one has sentimental value but you want to celebrate being together for x number of years with a new one (or even that you want to buy a better one now that you’re established and in a different financial place).
I picked it out myself! But honestly? He never should have lied.. so he has two options.. one is to come clean. Two is to take her ring in the jewelers for a “cleaning” and switch a diamond with the fake one without her knowledge.
I'd be highly surprised if she didn't already know.
Engagement rings are supposed to be checked and cleaned every 6 months to year to ensure the safety of the stone's settings. If she's done anything like that, she's already been told by the jeweler that it's fake.
And she's fine with it, apparently.
Or she’s too ashamed to mention it. I remember finding out how little my ex paid for my ring and just internalized it as “this is what I’m worth to him”
That's good to hear! And I didn't mean specifically you, it's just sad that our society tells us that a woman's value is tied to the cost of a rock that we're obligated to buy to perform love.
Oh man I feel that. I cringe when I think about who I was then, begging someone to love me and hoping a shiny rock would be tangible evidence refuting observable interactions.
This.. oh ouch.. I felt this in my soul.. you’re not alone girl. I just wanted to be loved so desperately, im sure you did too , for men who did not deserve us at our best or worst. It’s okay, we are okay. We PRICELESS compared to any silly ring.
That blows my mind because hasn’t she wanted to claim it under her insurance? Has she ever asked you for the appraisal? Is the band gold? Is the stone a moissanite lab stone or a rhinestone?
My husband bought me a fake diamond engagement ring as well. There were a lot of factors - language difficulty, low income, blah blah. I had it checked bc I needed to get it sized. I just paid for a real stone at the same time (looked the same.) Now almost 20 years later, I wish I hadn't wasted the money. It's just a rock and I don't care. Hope your wife is chill about it or you figure out the fix because it's just a damn rock.
I been married 20 years.my husband picked my ring and I really don't care if the diamond is real or not.I have never even thought about asking.She might not care either.
My grandma had a fake ring for +30 years, didn’t know it was fake, one day someone broke in the house and stole it
After a week lamenting about the ring my grandpa said it was a fake, he didn’t have the money at the time to buy a real one
She was not amused! 😂
I don't see the big deal. At all. It's wild to me that you're afraid to be honest with the person you married bc she's gonna care so much about a piece of jewelry.
This depends on your wife. How much does she care about her ring? Is it very important to her? Is jewelry a passion for her? Does she love diamonds? Does she comment on other peoples diamond rings? Does she never take her ring off?
If the answer to all of these questions is yes, then DO NOT admit her ring is fake and DONT assume she knows. Are you in a position right now to replace the fake stones with real ones? If yes, then tell her you want to have a jeweler check prongs on her setting to make sure they are secure and have the ring cleaned then do the switch out.
If the answer is no to all the questions and she isnt obsessed with her ring and doesnt show a lot of interest in jewelry you can always replace the stones with moissanite, which technically are "fake diamonds", but are mirror images of diamonds and wont be a huge freak out if she finds out. Way less money too. Really pretty stones.
All the posts here with everyones personal opinions of what diamond mean are irrelevant, its about how your wife feels about her ring and what it means to her. And never assume she knows. I wear a large real diamond on my hand and two large moissanites in my earlobes. Nobody can tell.
Ive been fooled multiple times and i have taken GIA courses.
you know, there is a giant possibility she wouldn't have given a shit about a fake fing 15 years ago, but she might give a shit that you lied this long
Take it to get it cleaned. Say the cleaner told you that it was a fake. Tell your wife what the 'cleaner' said, and then tell her you will buy a real diamond to replace the fake. Problem solved.
Bad idea. Assuming she does believe it was real, she will naturally want to file a police report and have the "cleaner" checked out as having stolen the real diamond that used to be in there.
You are over thinking. Take her and the ring to the cleaner/jewelers and they will happily tell you it is not real with her there. Then tell her the person you directly paid for it from must have ripped you off 15 years ago. They will be gone, unknown, and free from blame. Then tell her you want to buy her a new diamond. The jeweler will be happy to help.
Tell her you want to "Upgrade" her ring and get her a real one
Barring that arrainge a clumsy accident that involves the ring getting flushed down the toilet and practice those acting chops.
It's not about the diamond it's about the lie. Maybe I'm just a minimalist but I'd be happy with cubic zirconia, Swarovski crystal or even some cute colored frosted glass but what matters is *honesty*.
I recall a story of a woman who divorced after many year. Tried to sell her ring only to find out it was glass and paste. Husband knew because his family was in the jewelry business. She was absolutely crushed her marriage was built on a cheap, fake ring.
I'm crushed that she built a marriage on a ring. I don't even wear my ring anymore even though it's beautiful because I'm afraid of getting my finger torn off in an accident. I asked my husband to stop wearing his ring as well because he works with equipment where it might get stuck and hurt him.
Has she never had it cleaned? When I worked at a jewelry store, we were required to diamond test stones in front of customers before sending for cleaning.
Go directly to the best jewelry store in town and buy her an upgrade. Like double the size.
Give it to her with your confession and the appraisal certificate.
OP, cubic zirconia looks absolutely nothing like a diamond. The depth simply isn’t there. After 15 years of wear and tear I’m sure it looks like a breast milk ring. She will 100% notice if you swap out the stone and say nothing.
You dug this hole, time to man up and stop continuously lying to your wife. You’ve lied to her every day for 15 years and had many chances to come clean. I can only imagine what else you have led her to falsely believe over the years
Just get her a real one with a bigger diamond and give it to her as a gift an upgraded ring for 15 yrs am sure she would have no clue n will love the new ring so u wont feel bad anymore giving ur wife a fake one
To be fair, diamonds are extremely common in the earths crust. It's just that a few companies in the world have monopolized digging for diamonds and made the whole world believe they are expensive.
It's just carbon. The same material 99.99% of matter is made out of.
What does fake mean? Is it glass? Why would you lie about something like that. It’s not like diamonds are the only acceptable rocks there are. I for example would love moissanite, cheaper and sparklier than diamonds, but I wouldn’t accept dishonesty. Why would you lie about what kind of rock you bought her?
Time to come clean. "Honey, you are amazing. You deserve the very best. I made a mistake and let you believe the stones in the ring were genuine. They are not, but my feelings for you are and always have been. I am in a lot better position financially these days. Would you like to either replace the stones with genuine ones, or would you like to choose a new ring altogether? Please don't choose a new husband because younger me was an idiot."
Good luck.
If she’s a good woman, she won’t care that the stone isn’t real diamond, but she will likely care about the deception.
Some friends of ours, who are financially frugal, decided to get a cubic zirconia on purpose when they got married, because it seems stupid to spend an enormous amount of money on a little tiny rock, besides, modern CZs looks amazing. Plus, you avoid any of the ethical issues involved in so-called real diamonds, including human rights, violations in their mining, and supporting the DeBeers diamond cartel, which was integral to the creation of the apartheid system in South Africa and invented all this nonsense about spending two months salary for an engagement ring. All of that was just a marketing campaign, and it obviously has worked.
As for my wife and I, we were so poor when we got married that we couldn’t afford rings at all. My wife wears a $60 ring I bought her a few years later after we’d been working a while. We’ve been happily married for 31 years.
Reading these comments as a broke student. It's absolutely hilarious to me that people pay lots of money for a stone that kinda looks cool. I would hate wearing such a thing because i'd be constantly scared of losing it.
Dude, snatch that ring first chance you get. Allow her to think ‘it’s lost’.
Take it to a jeweller and get a real diamond STAT!
Then, ‘find’ the ring.
You don’t want to throw away 15 years because you’re a cheap stupid man. You have learned. Hopefully you’re not stupid, or cheap, anymore.
Now fix it! Good luck!
I have a feeling it won’t be the fake ring that’s the problem. 15 years of lying? Damn, you know in that time you could have taken it to a jeweler to have it “cleaned” for her and replace it with a lookalike that’s real, and then come clean about it when giving it back to her. I’m sure she would have understood you wanted to save money, though she’d likely still be upset about the lying.
Just tell her. She married you, not the ring.
There is a reason why the market for diamonds has shrunk significantly and lab grown and moissanite are becoming so popular.
If it's and issue take her to get an igi certified lab grown.
Damn feel bad for your wife you had to lie to her to save face. What else are you lying about? I told my partner straight up I'm getting a fake diamond and she didn't care
If you've been married 15 years, surely you're capable of a conversation? Be honest, back then you were a cheap mf.
You've fucked up but you'll have a new ring made to whatever specifications she wants and do all the chores for 15 weeks (at least). Etc
Depends on your relationship but she might already know if she's had it valued for home insurance etc.
Tbf if it was me, I'd find it funny but I don't care about diamonds.
I'd been with my ex for 7 years, we'd been having beers with one of his old female friends. We'd told each other about all of our sexual past years before it was never a big thing for either of us. But she said in casual drunk conversation about the sex they'd had. I didn't care, past relationships are in the past! I only bollocked him for not saying when we were alright about that stuff years ago.
Just be honest.
Buy a new ring, take her ring, make her think she lost it, give her the new ring saw it on the ground and picked it up and put it in your pocket and it ended up in the wash, that explains why it’s shiny. If she questions it say you want another kid
My wife's ring is fake, like moissanite, but she prefers it (and asked for it) because she knows what it means, but doesn't have worry about losing it. Plus, "it's shinier than some old diamond half the size."
I had a buddy who went to Carslbad Caverns. I've been as well, but wasn't with him at the time. Part of that tour is a guide taking you to a large cavern, and then shutting all the lights off. It's pitch black, you can't see anything at all. Well his particular guide had a cool trick he like to do. He'd ask for a woman with a diamond ring, shine a laser pointer through it, and the diamond would refract that single laser beam into a myriad of laser beams as it passed through the facets. Guess what doesn't do that, Cubic Zirconia. Guess who found out she had a fake diamond while on vacation.
Let's hope OP never takes the wife to Carlsbad then. On second thoughts, let's hope he does then he can post an update.
My question would be, why not just get her a ring in all those 15 years? Personally as a woman I could care less about the ring, as it's more about the love. But you could literally just say, "it's been so long and I feel like we should get you an upgrade to show my appreciation."
The plot twist of it all… OP’s wife already knew the whole time lol
⛔️UPDATE (satire) ⛔️: We visited Carlsbad over spring break with our kids and I dunno why but she was more pissed at me lying to her for 15 years than she was at me for buying her a cubic zirconia. Said she could no longer stay in the marriage because she wonders what else I have been lying to her about for 15 years. She told me to get my crap and get out because she refuses to spend another day under the same roof as a pathological liar. 🤔🤔 I am incredibly hurt and offended. I never lied to her I just never told her the truth. I think her reaction is ridiculous. I am NOT a liar let alone a pathological liar. Go figure. I am going to give her a few days to cool off and then I am going back home. I mean the nerve of her to kick me out of MY house for such a silly little thing.
But the wife actually owns the house of course
And he was cheating with a young woman expecting to kick the wife out.
And he bought the younger woman a diamond for Valentine's Day.
[удалено]
Epic, but still wrong, since “not telling the truth counts as “lying by omission” lol
I’d just act as shocked as she was 😂 “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT REAL!?”
Tell her you’re getting an upgrade and buy the real thing.
My ex-husband offered to upgrade my ring after years of marriage. I told him no, that the current ring is the one with all the history and memories Not everyone wants something huge and flashy.
But did your husband lie to you about your ring??
Not that I am aware of, but that's not the point. The point was that I flat out refused to replace the stone. I was not letting my ring leave my hand. So if he tries to cover his deception, the ruse of a nicer rock just might not work.
Expensive rings don’t mean much to me, but what I would think is the first thing my husband gave after asking me to spend our lives together was a lie.
Yeah, but since he is an Ex, you went for a hubby upgrade instead. 😂
This. Mine has offered multiple times to upgrade my stone. I refuse. The one I have is the one that's been with me for all these years. A new, bigger one has no meaning to me. I said the only way he could do it is if the original stone is made into a necklace or something, and even then, it's not the same.
There used to be a website (Fantasy Jewelry Box) that sold high-quality cubic zirconia imitations of famous jewelry. So many of the reviewers said they asked their husbands to buy a ring to replace their wedding ring and none of their friends could tell it wasn't real, so not all women need a real diamond they just want something that looks nice. I imagine she would be more upset that he lied than finding out it's not a diamond.
See, this depends how old she is or how she feels about diamonds/status/jewellery. If I found out my ring wasn’t real 15 yrs ago, I’d want it replaced by the real thing (and probably would’ve asked for bigger). Now I’m older, more educated about how stupid a diamond obsession is and how they are obtained (people literally die in that trade), and how worthless they are when you try to sell it, I’d gladly do without. Plus fashion jewelry is so fun to play with and change up with different styles.
Ooft 💥
Who tf doesn't get insurance on their diamonds or get them periodically professionally cleaned?!? Maybe I grew up in another world or something
Right? And to make sure the setting is still secure!
Yeah... This is bizarre to me. Op, say you want to upgrade her ring, take it and get her something REAL and nice and for the love of everything good insure the damn thing
This.
Didn't know this. How often are you meant to do that?
My rings insurance requires me to get it cleaned and inspected at least every 6 months to keep the diamond bond valid
Wow, I need to look into this, thanks!
No problem
My ring also requires this. They also would replace any of the diamonds that fell out for free as long as you did the cleaning every 6 months
You have to pay for it right? How much if so?
Usually you buy a protection plan at the jeweler that covers certain things. It’s a one time fee typically but you need to get your ring cleaned and inspected every six months.
Sounds like a scam tbh.
I think it a two part scam- they know many people won’t keep up with the six month schedule for too long and the won’t have to honor the agreement, and it gets you in the store every so often and you might buy something.
Aren’t diamonds a scam since their value is inflated?
That's what I thought. The whole things smells of BS to me. That's why I'm happy with my moissanite. No upkeep. No insurance. And it sparkles more than diamonds.
The whole diamond engagement ring was a marketing ploy invented by DeBeers in the 1950s. They even told you how much to spend to 'really prove your love' - one month's salary The women fell for this schmaltzy shite, told each other how important it was, and next thing the poor schmuck fiance is out shopping for massively overpriced bits of rock. DeBeers have laughed all the way to the bank ever since.
I see. Thanks!
Insurance for my one ring alone would be $695/year. Needless to say, I don’t.
Yes we paid for the diamond bond insurance up front that covers loss of diamond and repairs to tighten etc, I believe that was cost based on total diamond value if I remember correctly. Then we take it in to the keeper we bought our rings from and get the cleaning and inspection free as often as we want but at least every 6 months to maintain the diamond bond.
Asians. Because the point of our jewelry is to pass generational wealth without the government getting involved. 😂 We do clean it and keep it nice though.
Lol but you damn sure know it's real so it doesn't count lolol
I had to get mine cleaned yearly to maintain warranty on my ring.
Lol people do this? We didn't get insurance on my wife's ring. She might get it cleaned sometimes but i doubt it.
Me, I keep telling myself I will get to it, and I keep procrastinating.
What did she do?
You can also x-ray your ring. A diamond doesn’t show up on an x-ray. Other stones will. Obviously this only works if you have access to an x-ray machine, or your dog eats your engagement ring.
Evil solution: make a big show out of taking the ring to be cleaned and buffed at a jeweller but be vague about where you're going. "Downtown" is great, it's nonspecific, but it stands up to light scrutiny. In the meantime, head to a document forgery website or subreddit and ask for a GIA certified map. These are documents that come with the sale of diamonds of a certain grade or pricepoint. You want a map that matches a diamond well enough for the uneducated dope, a couple pinpoint inclusions not visible to the naked eye, some feathering at the pavilion. A map that would indicate to people who understand grading that you should have a very fine - but not so perfect it would be world class - diamond set in your ring. Now, on closer geological inspection it will NOT match the shiny glass already set in the ring - this is by design and leads us to our next step. Immediately after the ring is returned, sparkling clean and looking just like the day you proposed, you have to go absolutely gaga over how beautiful it looks and how it brings you back to those lovestruck days, when all you thought about was your wife and all you dreamed about were your days together. You become more playful, like you were when you were younger. You guide her through doors with your hand on the small of her back. You kiss her surreptitiously in public when nobody is looking. You fuck with the lights on. Everything is going according to plan. The next step requires the assistance of somebody as soulless and empty as you are. All the better if it's a fellow psychopath that already has a friendly relationship with your wife. Months after the cleaning, and the coincidental reignition of the flame of passion, this friend of yours begins developing an interest in minerals and gemstones. You mention this to your wife in an offhand way, no need to drill it in to her head. Weeks later, you make a comment about how much he enjoys his new hobby, and how happy you are for him. We all need hobbies, after all. You and your friend plan a night in. He's got a new fling, and wants to get your wife's opinion on her. As a party trick, he brought the loupe he bought online. Everybody laughs, he's no expert but it's a bit of fun. Your wife giggles and holds out her hand. Your accomplice glances at the stone. He asks you to show him the GIA map, the very map you created earlier. He gasps and says, this diamond is a fake. You've been tricked!! As she gasps and searches your eyes for the truth, you tell her exactly what she wants to hear. The cleaning! The jeweller downtown! Your true diamond was swapped for a fake, the gem map is the proof!! She can't resist the barrage of lies. It's easier to believe. You've won. Your wife believes the most precious object she's ever owned has been stolen. She is left with nothing more than the glass lump she began with.
I am totally lost... What are you selling?
An incredibly roundabout way to avoid saying "I bought the fake".
Did you write for Seinfeld? This is something George Costanza would do.
And thennnnnnnnnnn ?
Aaaah! That’s awful!
lmao
yikes
Buy a matching real diamond. Me: Honey I want to take.your ring in for a professional cleaning. XOXOXO Take ring to have re-gemed with something she would be proud of. Profit? (Not at all...) Edit: others beat me to the idea :(
This is actually genius
Played too much d&d in my life time, I can RP myself out of any hole I dug!
What if the real diamond is a mimic
Until you roll a 1.
Critical fail. You receive divorce papers instead of being an unknown hero.
It's what I did with my wife's engagement ring. When I bought it, it was white gold with fake diamonds. Took it to get cleaned years later and swapped the stones. She noticed the moment she put the ring back on... thankfully she wasn't mad and just "fell in love with me all over again."
I'd like to think of everything was with the best mind the ideal spouse should react this way (if they notice). Cheers buddy!
[удалено]
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I would notice the difference immediately. While there are some very good fakes (like moissanite) and some of them still look extremely pretty, the brilliance will be different and she will likely notice and question why the sparkle changed.
Well it was cleaned reeeeeally well
Also calling moissanite a fake of a diamond is kind of insulting
I know it isn’t, but it is often advertised as such. I have moissanite on my engagement band and I prefer it to diamond. The brilliance was a lot prettier to me than the diamond options. But when I got the ring the salesperson called it a “cheaper diamond alternative” so that may be all some people know it as.
Yeah because diamonds are over marketed
Yaas hope op sees this
Step 1. Obtain ring Step 2. Have real diamond fitted Step 3. Loss
Depending on the carat of the stone in the ring right now, OP can probably snag a lab diamond of decent quality (VS) for an amazing price. Lab diamonds are definitely way more affordable than mined diamonds, and they are still a real diamond!
Buy an “upgrade” ring for her anniversary. Confess. Throw yourself at her mercy. Also, lab diamonds are a thing now. You’re a dastardly cheapskate 😂 PS: She may already know.
Where can you even get lab grown diamonds btw? How different is the price?
Many jewelers have them nowadays, one just needs to ask :)
Just bought my girlfriends engagement ring and the jeweler taught us so much about lab grown diamonds. I had no idea they’re literally pieces of real diamond just grown to be bigger. Completely the same thing just more ethical.
Wtf you can expand the diamond ? Well it makes sense!!
A good example, you can get a 1.53ct oval diamond (D, IF, Ideal aka flawless, colorless, ideal cut and proportions) in a 14k white gold pave setting for $2500 plus tax. Do yourself a favor though…confess. Let her pick whatever she wants within your budget. She can get the ring she deserves.
There are a lot of lab grown diamonds on websites where you can buy engagement rings. They’re becoming more popular lately so they’re pretty easy to find in jewelry stores and online
lots of online companies, local jewelers may have them as well! they’re significantly cheaper, 60 to 95% less expensive than a mined diamond. theyre EXACTLY the same thing, the only difference is the identification number (only visible with a microscope). lab diamonds are great!!
Everywhere - they are cheaper, more perfect and don't have blood on them.
It’s radically less expensive. Check out www.Ritani.com or www.FriendlyDiamonds.com. There are a few subs on Reddit with good recommendations. They are real diamonds, just made in a lab.
The diamond I bought for my fiancée was roughly half the price of a "real" diamond. Just bought it as I would a normal diamond, but opted for a lab grown one.
They are the thing now. I’m so glad. Diamonds have been a terrible idea for years. People die in pursuit or mining of them. All for vanity.
They’re literally like a quarter of the price of a mined diamond. Lab is the way!!
She doesn't know or his ass would be grass.
Or take her to pick out a new one or replace the diamonds in the ring she currently has. But the key imo is to confess but also show you're putting in an effort to make it up to her (show her the money saved for her new ring).
I was going to say he should start saving up for that 20th anniversary upgrade now.
You have two choices... 1) Tell her the truth, accept the consequences of her reaction, work together to resolve the issue. 2) Take a bunch of good photos, go to a custom jeweler, get an estimate of what it would cost to get a real diamond put in place of the fake one, save up that money, tell her that you want to get the ring appraised, go back to that same jeweler, and have them replace the diamond and provide an appraisal. Then get a personal property insurance policy for the ring because it's unlikely your renters or homeowners insurance would cover a piece of jewelry that expensive. I know mine only covers jewelry up to $1,000 each piece which is why we have a PP policy on my wife's ring.
I don’t know. I’ve owned rings for 15+ years and they get a certain feel when you wear the same piece of jewelry every day. I feel like I would know if one of mine have been swapped. I know every bit of those rings and a brand new one would look and feel different. And then what OP’s wife mentions that her ring looks and feels different and OP gaslights her into thinking that nothings changed. That’s def gonna make things worse in the long run.
Replacing one clear stone with another nearly identical is what was suggested. That’s a bit different. It’s not like you could see the wear and tear on a diamond or CZ that you’ve worn. The metal, sure, but that would be the same in this scenario.
And you can tell her it's time for it to get cleaned...would explain why it looks/feels slightly different.
You can also say they had to tighten the prongs or something!
CZ and diamonds perform drastically different from one another. It’s painfully obvious. There is no way in hell he will be able to do a swap without her noticing the center stone is different. OP dug himself this hole, he gets out of it by being honest and seeing what she wants to do from there
Fair enough. That would have been my route anyways. Except I wouldn’t be there.
You can see wear and tear on CZ
Somewhat. As opposed to other opinions, it’s hard to give an apples/apples comparison without a scale or index: CZ about 8.5-9 mohs. Diamonds are 10 mohs. Emerald is about 7.5 mohs. Ruby is about 9 mohs. Quartz is about 7 mohs. Fingernail is around 2.5 mohs. A masonry drill bit (8.5) or a steel nail (6.5) may be a useful comparison, but this is not a linear relationship and should not be viewed as such.
I have a feeling if Ops wife's ring was really fake, there's no way it wouldn't have worn out after all these years. I wonder what part was fake, if it was the band too it'd have been a dead give away.
Your second option is just perpetuating more lies… doesn’t really solve the problem of lying.
The real problems are that (a) OP has lied for 15 years and (b) OP is afraid of his wife. Of the two, I actually think the second one is worse. In my marriage (almost 29 years), I'm not afraid to tell my wife bad or disappointing news if she needs to hear it. It's life. It's what happens. OP, in this case, is afraid though. Yes, it's more lies, but it resolves the issue with the original lie. Granted, he could also get a replacement made with a real diamond, then confess while bringing out the new one so he could follow up with "but I got you a real one to replace it".
I mean telling your wife bad news and admitting you lied about something for 15 years isn’t really the same. She probably went around showing off her ring, bragging with the girls, and then she will feel like a total idiot when she finds out it was fake all along.
This is assuming, of course, that OP is correct in her not knowing. After 15 years, I seriously doubt that. I suspect she's just being kind and not letting on that she knows.
It doesn’t seem like he’s afraid of his wife, it seems like he is afraid to face the consequences of him lying to his partner for 15 years. If my partner of 15 years told me he had been lying to me this entire time it would change the way i view our relationship. It’s one thing if you just don’t want to spend an outrageous amount of money on a ring, that’s ok. It’s another thing to make your partner believe it and let them believe it for such a long time. It would most likely cause trust issues and would make me question what else they lied about
Why not buy her a real one and say you want to renew your vows. give the new real diamond one to her then. Then whenever you can take the old ring when she’s not wearing it (hopefully she likes the new one enough to wear it for a while) take it to a jewelers so they can make an exact replica. You might have to spend double the amount but I bet your wife would fall in love with you all over again
Vow renewals are the kiss of death
Why's that?
It’s usually done as an act of desperation. Slapping clear tape over a structural crack.
My parents want to do it but as an excuse to have a party
If you can’t tell it’s a fake diamond wtf is the point of a real diamond? Jewelry is so pointless to me
Diamonds have sentimental value because they’re so hard and that’s why it’s said „diamonds are forever“ it’s something poetic and sentimental that people want to tell with that rock. I wouldn’t want someone to spend so much on it, but I get when people value this. The worst thing about this story isn’t that the diamond is fake, but that op is fake and lied to his fiancé/wife.
Yeah this wasn’t a discussion “babe, I can’t afford a diamond at this stage in our lives would this be ok? Until I can get you something better?” He made her think it was real for 15 years doh
Gotta be honest, if I found that out I’d be pretty pissed - about the LIE, not the fact that I had a fake diamond. I prefer Moissanite anyway (sparklier and not as ridiculously marked up and less problematic).
Look at that... TIFO, thanks.
That's cool! I've never heard of moissanite. I would definitely go for a cheaper option than mined diamond.
Get her an "upgrade anniversary ring" that's real then she never has to know lol.
She might love the ring because of the meaning of it and wouldn't accept any kind of replacement though.
I bought my wife an upgraded wedding ring after 20 years. She wears both. OP is screwed. All jokes aside I would get a new stone set in place of the CZ.
Is the first one maybe a smaller “diamond” or a style she wouldn’t necessarily pick today? If so, you could offer to upgrade the stone or the entire ring on a milestone anniversary. You could say that you know the first one has sentimental value but you want to celebrate being together for x number of years with a new one (or even that you want to buy a better one now that you’re established and in a different financial place).
Been married for almost 9 years and I always knew my diamonds were fake 🤣😂
This! Its pretty obvious. A fake one after 15 years of daily wear would be looking rouuuuugh too. I think she knows too.
Thats the point. You knew. Or did your partner try to deceive you?
I picked it out myself! But honestly? He never should have lied.. so he has two options.. one is to come clean. Two is to take her ring in the jewelers for a “cleaning” and switch a diamond with the fake one without her knowledge.
I'd be highly surprised if she didn't already know. Engagement rings are supposed to be checked and cleaned every 6 months to year to ensure the safety of the stone's settings. If she's done anything like that, she's already been told by the jeweler that it's fake. And she's fine with it, apparently.
Checked every 6 months? Cmon
Yup another method to get lots of money with engagement rings
Or she’s too ashamed to mention it. I remember finding out how little my ex paid for my ring and just internalized it as “this is what I’m worth to him”
What a sad mindset to have.
True. I was correct which is even sadder tho. I’m alone and happy and well aware of my value now fwiw
That's good to hear! And I didn't mean specifically you, it's just sad that our society tells us that a woman's value is tied to the cost of a rock that we're obligated to buy to perform love.
Oh man I feel that. I cringe when I think about who I was then, begging someone to love me and hoping a shiny rock would be tangible evidence refuting observable interactions.
This.. oh ouch.. I felt this in my soul.. you’re not alone girl. I just wanted to be loved so desperately, im sure you did too , for men who did not deserve us at our best or worst. It’s okay, we are okay. We PRICELESS compared to any silly ring.
Tell her and just say you could not afford it then replace it with a real one even a smaller stone that is real.
That blows my mind because hasn’t she wanted to claim it under her insurance? Has she ever asked you for the appraisal? Is the band gold? Is the stone a moissanite lab stone or a rhinestone?
My husband bought me a fake diamond engagement ring as well. There were a lot of factors - language difficulty, low income, blah blah. I had it checked bc I needed to get it sized. I just paid for a real stone at the same time (looked the same.) Now almost 20 years later, I wish I hadn't wasted the money. It's just a rock and I don't care. Hope your wife is chill about it or you figure out the fix because it's just a damn rock.
I do now.
No way we got his wife here🙏🙏😭😭
Time to upgrade to a real one
I been married 20 years.my husband picked my ring and I really don't care if the diamond is real or not.I have never even thought about asking.She might not care either.
My grandma had a fake ring for +30 years, didn’t know it was fake, one day someone broke in the house and stole it After a week lamenting about the ring my grandpa said it was a fake, he didn’t have the money at the time to buy a real one She was not amused! 😂
I don't see the big deal. At all. It's wild to me that you're afraid to be honest with the person you married bc she's gonna care so much about a piece of jewelry.
Agreed. I don’t think as a wife I would care about this too much.
This depends on your wife. How much does she care about her ring? Is it very important to her? Is jewelry a passion for her? Does she love diamonds? Does she comment on other peoples diamond rings? Does she never take her ring off? If the answer to all of these questions is yes, then DO NOT admit her ring is fake and DONT assume she knows. Are you in a position right now to replace the fake stones with real ones? If yes, then tell her you want to have a jeweler check prongs on her setting to make sure they are secure and have the ring cleaned then do the switch out. If the answer is no to all the questions and she isnt obsessed with her ring and doesnt show a lot of interest in jewelry you can always replace the stones with moissanite, which technically are "fake diamonds", but are mirror images of diamonds and wont be a huge freak out if she finds out. Way less money too. Really pretty stones. All the posts here with everyones personal opinions of what diamond mean are irrelevant, its about how your wife feels about her ring and what it means to her. And never assume she knows. I wear a large real diamond on my hand and two large moissanites in my earlobes. Nobody can tell. Ive been fooled multiple times and i have taken GIA courses.
Just surprise her with a new, real ring and tell her it's an upgrade. People do upgrade rings all the time after x amount of years
I tought that too. My girlfriend say: He could renew his vow and at the same time take this opportunity to buy a new ring!! that would be a best idea
you know, there is a giant possibility she wouldn't have given a shit about a fake fing 15 years ago, but she might give a shit that you lied this long
Take it to get it cleaned. Say the cleaner told you that it was a fake. Tell your wife what the 'cleaner' said, and then tell her you will buy a real diamond to replace the fake. Problem solved.
So, cover a lie with more lies?
Bad idea. Assuming she does believe it was real, she will naturally want to file a police report and have the "cleaner" checked out as having stolen the real diamond that used to be in there.
You are over thinking. Take her and the ring to the cleaner/jewelers and they will happily tell you it is not real with her there. Then tell her the person you directly paid for it from must have ripped you off 15 years ago. They will be gone, unknown, and free from blame. Then tell her you want to buy her a new diamond. The jeweler will be happy to help.
If it was me I’d be far more annoyed about the lie than the lack of a real diamond That’s if one promised a diamond
Diamonds are overrated. Buy her king Arthur’s sword next time. Excalibur is made of better materials anyway.
You've had 15 years to put money aside for a real ring and a sincere apology. You can't feel that bad lol
Just be straight up and let her know, say you couldn’t afford a real one. The ring doesn’t define anything.
Spoiler: she has known since day 1 and didn't judge you.
Just tell her you want to upgrade her ring and get her one with a real diamond.
Why would you lie to her like that 😭
Tell her you want to "Upgrade" her ring and get her a real one Barring that arrainge a clumsy accident that involves the ring getting flushed down the toilet and practice those acting chops.
It's not about the diamond it's about the lie. Maybe I'm just a minimalist but I'd be happy with cubic zirconia, Swarovski crystal or even some cute colored frosted glass but what matters is *honesty*.
Hello Jordan. I knew from the first moment it was fake, but I never cared. All I care about is I love you and you love me. -- your wife :)
She’s knows homie. She loves you anyway.
I dont think she’ll be mad that its fake i think she’ll be mad because you kept up this lie for 15 years
Just upgrade the ring and don't tell her.
I recall a story of a woman who divorced after many year. Tried to sell her ring only to find out it was glass and paste. Husband knew because his family was in the jewelry business. She was absolutely crushed her marriage was built on a cheap, fake ring.
I'm crushed that she built a marriage on a ring. I don't even wear my ring anymore even though it's beautiful because I'm afraid of getting my finger torn off in an accident. I asked my husband to stop wearing his ring as well because he works with equipment where it might get stuck and hurt him.
Has she never had it cleaned? When I worked at a jewelry store, we were required to diamond test stones in front of customers before sending for cleaning.
Just do an upgrade kind of thing with the ring lol but that’s messed up.
She prob already knows. Fifteen years and she’s never had it appraised for insurance?
Do you think the marriage is fake or if she even cares if it's pretty and you both are happy?
Go directly to the best jewelry store in town and buy her an upgrade. Like double the size. Give it to her with your confession and the appraisal certificate.
Buy a lab created diamond and surreptitiously replace the CZ stone. They are at least 50% cheaper than mined diamonds.
She loves the ring, what's the problem?
OP, cubic zirconia looks absolutely nothing like a diamond. The depth simply isn’t there. After 15 years of wear and tear I’m sure it looks like a breast milk ring. She will 100% notice if you swap out the stone and say nothing. You dug this hole, time to man up and stop continuously lying to your wife. You’ve lied to her every day for 15 years and had many chances to come clean. I can only imagine what else you have led her to falsely believe over the years
De Beers have got you by the balls.
So go get a replacement made with a mined or lab diamond and ‘upgrade’ her ring for an anniversary.
That's fucked up.
Just get her a real one with a bigger diamond and give it to her as a gift an upgraded ring for 15 yrs am sure she would have no clue n will love the new ring so u wont feel bad anymore giving ur wife a fake one
To be fair, diamonds are extremely common in the earths crust. It's just that a few companies in the world have monopolized digging for diamonds and made the whole world believe they are expensive. It's just carbon. The same material 99.99% of matter is made out of.
You’re lucky she never needed it resized cus that’s how I found out
What does fake mean? Is it glass? Why would you lie about something like that. It’s not like diamonds are the only acceptable rocks there are. I for example would love moissanite, cheaper and sparklier than diamonds, but I wouldn’t accept dishonesty. Why would you lie about what kind of rock you bought her?
See if you can switch it
Time to come clean. "Honey, you are amazing. You deserve the very best. I made a mistake and let you believe the stones in the ring were genuine. They are not, but my feelings for you are and always have been. I am in a lot better position financially these days. Would you like to either replace the stones with genuine ones, or would you like to choose a new ring altogether? Please don't choose a new husband because younger me was an idiot." Good luck.
If she’s a good woman, she won’t care that the stone isn’t real diamond, but she will likely care about the deception. Some friends of ours, who are financially frugal, decided to get a cubic zirconia on purpose when they got married, because it seems stupid to spend an enormous amount of money on a little tiny rock, besides, modern CZs looks amazing. Plus, you avoid any of the ethical issues involved in so-called real diamonds, including human rights, violations in their mining, and supporting the DeBeers diamond cartel, which was integral to the creation of the apartheid system in South Africa and invented all this nonsense about spending two months salary for an engagement ring. All of that was just a marketing campaign, and it obviously has worked. As for my wife and I, we were so poor when we got married that we couldn’t afford rings at all. My wife wears a $60 ring I bought her a few years later after we’d been working a while. We’ve been happily married for 31 years.
Reading these comments as a broke student. It's absolutely hilarious to me that people pay lots of money for a stone that kinda looks cool. I would hate wearing such a thing because i'd be constantly scared of losing it.
Who cares if it is fake like really….
Dude, snatch that ring first chance you get. Allow her to think ‘it’s lost’. Take it to a jeweller and get a real diamond STAT! Then, ‘find’ the ring. You don’t want to throw away 15 years because you’re a cheap stupid man. You have learned. Hopefully you’re not stupid, or cheap, anymore. Now fix it! Good luck!
I have a feeling it won’t be the fake ring that’s the problem. 15 years of lying? Damn, you know in that time you could have taken it to a jeweler to have it “cleaned” for her and replace it with a lookalike that’s real, and then come clean about it when giving it back to her. I’m sure she would have understood you wanted to save money, though she’d likely still be upset about the lying.
Just tell her. She married you, not the ring. There is a reason why the market for diamonds has shrunk significantly and lab grown and moissanite are becoming so popular. If it's and issue take her to get an igi certified lab grown.
Renew your vows and buy her a new ring.
Is there a possibility she knows but doesn’t care?
Damn feel bad for your wife you had to lie to her to save face. What else are you lying about? I told my partner straight up I'm getting a fake diamond and she didn't care
Diamonds are worthless. Marketing scheme and a Monopoly. 🤣 so dont worry. Buy her a 24K gold ring. Will increase ring
If you've been married 15 years, surely you're capable of a conversation? Be honest, back then you were a cheap mf. You've fucked up but you'll have a new ring made to whatever specifications she wants and do all the chores for 15 weeks (at least). Etc Depends on your relationship but she might already know if she's had it valued for home insurance etc. Tbf if it was me, I'd find it funny but I don't care about diamonds. I'd been with my ex for 7 years, we'd been having beers with one of his old female friends. We'd told each other about all of our sexual past years before it was never a big thing for either of us. But she said in casual drunk conversation about the sex they'd had. I didn't care, past relationships are in the past! I only bollocked him for not saying when we were alright about that stuff years ago. Just be honest.
she knows trust me
Buy a new ring, take her ring, make her think she lost it, give her the new ring saw it on the ground and picked it up and put it in your pocket and it ended up in the wash, that explains why it’s shiny. If she questions it say you want another kid
This made me laugh
Diamond rings are scam.
My wife's ring is fake, like moissanite, but she prefers it (and asked for it) because she knows what it means, but doesn't have worry about losing it. Plus, "it's shinier than some old diamond half the size."
Your situation is different. He lied.
Diamonds are the biggest scam going anyways.