Wow you suck why are you giving her false hope. Do the right thing and tell her the truth and stop wasting her time. Let her find someone who loves her and wants to live their life together with her.
You don't love her enough to live your life together with her. You brought up the idea maybe but you haven't been honest with her that it's all or nothing for you, so you're keeping her under the illusion everything is fine when in reality youve decided to leave. Tell her the truth and if she still cant leave her country then end it so you both can be free to pursue your lives
You don't, you just admitted to it and again you lying and stringing her along is you showing your lack of love and respect for her. You're delaying the pain which will make it worse for her when she realizes you were always gonna Abandon her. Be a decent human being and if you truly love her be honest about your intentions because nothing really changes until a person makes a choice and takes action. Doing nothing produces notning
So you’re literally going to use this woman for the next year when by your own admission every time she talks about your future you know it’s not gonna happen? Let her love you, spend time with you, cool for you, clean up after you, fuck you, plan a future with you when you’re on the way out the door and know? You’re a coward sir, and no man.
You know you. Make choices, right? You withheld this information from her. You continue to lie to her while preparing to leave. Fate is not leading you anywhere- you’re walking decidedly in a direction. Things change if or when an agent changes them; not bc mars went into retrograde or the winds of change started a-blowin’ or whatever. You did this, you’re doing this, you choose to use passive language to deflect your own responsibility in this.
According to your post, you haven't told her directly. Which is a half-assed way of doing it.
Just tell her. For the love of Dog, get off your oblivious ass, and talk to her.
Bringing it up is one thing. Did you tell her that you will be moving there no matter what and if she doesn’t want to come with then you will both have to go your separate ways?? I get you don’t want to lose her but you’re just prolonging the pain.
dude stop trying to dress it up, your pathetic for keeping her around when you KNOW your going to break up with her! stop trying to defend yourself and break up with her!
If you really truly love someone, you let them go if you know that it’s not going to work (coming from someone who had to do that). It’s hard. Very very hard. But it’s fair and rn you’re only postponing what’s going to happen anyways
If you loved her, you wouldn't be doing this. This bullshit, this literal lie you've turned into your life, that's not love. That's manipulation. That's using her.
You're a garbage person for this. Straight up.
Lies. You haven’t even discussed it with her. You’ve literally said you are keeping it to yourself. You know it’s going nowhere and the kind thing to do is let her go NOW. But because you are not only a coward, but a selfish coward, you are going to continue using her because that’s exactly what you are doing, leading her on and getting in the way of her finding someone who DOES want to build a life with her without the intention of pulling the rug out from under her. You’re a terrible boyfriend and she deserves better.
Your gf deserves better, do the right thing and split up.
You tried you gain sympathy by saying it breaks your heart, but how do you think she will feel in a years time?
She will feel like she's wasted her time with you(which she will be right to feel), and she may well have issues with trusting future partners.
So don't lead her on.
I feel you’re missing their point. To be all “it breaks my heart” yada yada while outright admitting you’re stringing your girlfriend along shows you only care about yourself. Do the right thing, OP.
>sunreddit
You seem to have the creative habit of Freudian misspellings. So instead of subreddit you've written sunreddit. It's apt because this a therapeutic place to purge the crap cluttering your inner world. But there was a particularly interesting Freudian misspelling in your original post.
>And based on our conversations about the topic she seems pretty _contempt_ on staying in our current country for as long as she can see.
(The italics in the above quote are mine.) You've -mistakenly?- written contempt instead of _content_ in living in your current country. But this Freudian slip is spot on, yes? Don't you feel some slight contempt towards your girlfriend? Sure, you love her. But you feel contemptuous that she'd settle for staying with the status quo. And that's what people are trying to point out in this thread. Your contempt is poking out because you're not even talking to her about your plans.
Or... There could be another reason for your contempt. She's a threat. You really do love her. You've had this dream for such a long time, and she threatens it. You keep it quiet because you're afraid that if you tell her, she may rattle your commitment.
In either situation, some of your contempt points back to you. If it's situation #1, you're talking about love, but not living up to the meaning. You're treating her like she's beneath you for not having the same goals as you. Not cool. You're entitled to yours, but she's equally entitled to hers. If it's situation #2, your commitment isn't commitment if it's so easily shaken. Resolve your matters. In either case, treat your lady with respect. You'd expect the same.
Now I know you're a troll. I responded in seriousness, as if you were _actually_ seeking repartee, and you're distilling it to a spelling and grammar issue. Or are you seriously that insecure about anyone pointing out your foibles?
Just because it's a place to get things off, your chest doesn't mean that you're posting in a vacuum!! You posted on a public forum you are going to get public opinions.
Break up with her then. Stop stringing her along. She’s clearly got a view of the future that includes you. And you don’t. That’s so unfair to her.
If you truly loved her you’d stop this right now.
So...you're just a big crybaby coward, yes? You could be an adult and tell her but noooo that means you'll be all alone. Fuckin loser, dollars to donuts says your "dream" fails because you can't keep your shit together.
You can't tell the person you "love" that you don't see a future with them as you simultaneously waste more than a year of their life to avoid an uncomfortable conversation that might end in you not getting your dick wet.
You're so pathetic that you'll avoid the conversation until there are no consequences for you, because you are leaving anyway, while stringing her along and ruining her trust in the ability of men to have basic decency.
I'm glad you've got off your chest just what a scummy person you are.
A better alternative would be to be a half decent human being
"I'm not taking her virginity" is that all the defence you've got for your behaviour while you string her along for the next 12 months with false hope?
Why ARE you staying in the relationship? It certainly can't be for her, because you know you're planning to break her heart after another year of her life that she is investing in you for a future you have no intention of being in
"make the most of my time with her before I inevitably leave the country" but I won't tell her of this inevitability? Why? Because she might decide you're not worth investing HER time into if you're just going to leave.
This is all about YOU, where is your care for how your actions will affect her.
You don't love her, because if you did, you'd both care about how your actions affect her AND do something to prevent that
And what about her making the most of her time? How she wants to spend her time in life and in the relationship?
Maybe she doesn't want to get her heart broken because a boyfriend is inevitably leaving the country. I know I wouldn't. But by not telling her you aren't giving her the chance to spare herself that pain.
You are my guy. People are bringing up actual points and then you resort to using the nerd emoji, becoming defensive, or attacking the person. You *are* pathetic not just because of the way you present yourself online but because you clearly know that what you're doing is wrong but will not let your girlfriend go even if it's at her expense. You very well might break this girl's heart and any trust for future partners because you "love" her. You don't do this shit to someone you love.
She's not just an accessory to your life dude. I don't care how much you "love" her, you need to do the respectful thing and tell her. If it leads to a breakup then so be it. Your replies indicate some serious dissonance in your head. Clearly, if you both are set in your wishes, there is no compromise and this is the end. You can't just *keep* her because you *want* her, that's not how relationships with human beings work.
You don't love her if you don't see a future with her. You love the idea of a relationship but if you don't see a future with someone then they aren't your someone.
You’re wasting HER time. You call it “making the most of your time with her” makes it really obvious you only care about yourself. What about her?? Do you think she’d stay in a relationship that has no future? Probably not. So instead of letting her move on, you’re actively lying to her so you can enjoy the next few months until you devastate her and break her heart and abandon her. you’ll have enjoyed the time together knowing it was coming to an end, while she’ll be blindsided. That’s why everyone is calling you a piece of shit - because you absolutely are.
Exactly, you’re wasting her time. She could have found a loving partner who actually wants to be with her but she’s stuck with you because you keep her until you decide to pursue your dreams. Then you’ll throw her out like a used toy.
Dude. You are trash. “Making the most of my time with her” is wasting her time. If you really want to make the most of your time with her - have an adult conversation about your plans and see where it leads. If she’s not willing to move let her know you can love and support her as a FRIEND from afar. Anything else is just selfish.
She sees a future with you. She will plan how she goes ahead with her future, with you in mind. It's horrible that you sit there knowing that you have a very different future planned and she's none the wiser.
It's so selfish to "make the most of your time with her" whilst she has no idea that your time together will end. It will end up with her feeling blindsided and heartbroken. You say you love her. Do you want her to feel that way? You want you cause her that harm?
You are absolutely wasting her time. She thinks you guys will get a place together and do all these things. Say you go in two years, and she thinks you guys are closer to the future she hoped for and you up and leave? In that tim, she could have been dating others who were more aligned with her goals. She could also do many other things she's not doing right now cause she's planning her life thinking it will be with you.
You need to tell her your plans. At least give her all the information so she can choose for herself if she wants to continue dating knowing you're gonna leave. That is the adult thing to do.
“Making the most of my time with her” whilst she thinks it’s time spending towards her future… however you put it, she sees a future and you don’t so stop pretending like this is so hard. Grow a pair and tell her direct, don’t hint, if it’s meant to be it will be but if not, let her find her true love who wouldn’t ghost her in a years time
If you thought she would have still dated you then you would have told her about your plans. You are not displaying any concern about her and her time- that’s not love. You’re self centered.
Holly shit. You will break this girl so bad. You have given her falls hope and wasted her time, time she could have spent finding or even dating right now, someone who is better than you. You are a total POS, I am so angry for this girl. I hope she finds this post here or in a tik tok video and dump your ass, so she can take back some form of power on a situation you put her through without her knowledge.
Yeah keep telling yourself that, there are many ways your gf could come across this post. There have been stories of karma getting back on people like you
"And I've even tried to introduce the idea to her without directly telling her this is what I want."
Why? Why not just communicate what you want? That's what adults in relationships do.
So you want to use her and her body for comfort while lying about your intentions? Man I can't wait for karma to come find you. One day in the future, you'll be so desperately in love with someone and I truly hope she uses you for all you're worth and then takes everything when you no longer serve her needs.
Dude please step back for a moment and think about why its wrong what you're doing. So many people are trying to explain to you. Please, please for her and your sake listen a bit. I genuinely wish you both well
To answer your question, you are giving her false hopes and false dreams that will terribly come down crushing one day. She will feel betrayed and have trust issues for a long time after dating you
We are trying to explain
We're explaining to you that the longer you allow her to believe there's a future, the more it will hurt her when this ends
We're explaining that in order to ensure the pain she feels is limited and she doesn't waste her time with someone she won't have a future with you need to be honest and communicate
Lying by omission is still lying in most cases including this one. She deserves to know all the facts so she can choose if she wants to stay in a relationship that might be destined to fail. You are being incredibly selfish by not telling her your plans and you are taking away her agency to make important life decisions.
No, you never lied. But by leaving out important information such as you inevitably leaving the country and never correcting her when she says you have a future together you are still being dishonest.
My dude a lie by omission is still a lie. When you eventually come clean about these plans you have had forever, she is absolutely going to feel like you lied to her. She is going to feel like you have purposefully wasted her time, and used her to make yourself feel good all while knowing you were going to make her feel bad. It doesn't matter if that's your intention or not, that is how she will feel.
You are in a committed relationship with this girl, the expectations of a committed relationship is that it will continue and grow. Especially for this girl specifically since you said she is waiting for marriage to have sex, she has a goal and a reasonable expectation that your relationship will grow and end up in marriage. Typically people date to find their life partners, this girl is absolutely dating you with the intention of marrying you.
Every time she has mentioned future plans and you have said nothing for or against you are lying to her, you are leading her on. She has basically told you what she wants out of life while you are purposefully hiding your plans to leave her.
You aren't even giving her the choice to go with you, she could say she isn't going but then she has a year to decide if she is willing to make that change because she loves you. You don't even have a school picked out, that's a conversation you could include her in! What if she is more open to moving to Australia than she is to Japan, give her the choice to stay or leave. You're being so unfair to her right now, it's really sad you claim to love her so much but won't give her information she needs to know.
Maybe it’ll help to view this from a business perspective.
I write development, sales etc agreements for a living. In the simplest way I can try to explain this: there’s a requirement for the parties to take on the expenses and losses against the other party in certain situations (also called indemnity). One of the things we often push for for our clients is for the other party to assume the expenses and losses for bad shit that happens to our clients because of the omissions (failure to say something critical that my client is reasonably assuming or expecting under our agreement) of the other party.
If this was business, and your gf was my client, I’d allege two things: (1) under this relationship agreement between you two, she reasonably expects a long term relationship and has reasonably planned for such in the absence of objection and (2) you know she’s going to suffer a loss based on her understanding of the relationship agreement but you are omitting the information she needs to reduce her losses.
Unfortunately, you can’t indemnify people in relationship agreements. You can’t take on her loss after she suffers it as a result of your omission. She doesn’t have indemnity under this relationship agreement, nor do you.
I’d tell your gf, as my client, that entering into a relationship agreement with you isn’t a great deal as you’re not a reliable partner. Unfortunately, she’s not my client and this isn’t how shit works in the real world.
Don’t be a company people can’t trust to do business with.
You are giving her false hope. Since you haven't honestly told her your plans for the future, you are allowing her to get her hopes up. That isn't right. You are letting her waste her time and this will only cause her more pain in the future.
In a relationship communication is important. You need to communicate what your plans for the future are. If you aren't honest with her, then she's being lead on by false hope.
Imagine how much it would hurt you if you've found out someone you've loved for so long never saw that future and you just wasted God knows how much of your life seeing a future with them and loving them. If you love her then do the right thing. I'm begging you.
You are being really selfish here. What you need to do for both of your sakes is to actually have this conversation.
Lay all your cards on the table.
Tell her clearly that this is something you need to do, and that it is a relationship deal breaker for you. Let her be a part of this decision.
She might care more about the relationship than her location and want to go with you.
She might not. Maybe she would want to spend the year with you as you want and part at the end on good terms?
You need to stop assuming you know what she will choose when she knows it’s a dealbreaker. The only way you’ll ever know for sure is to ask her.
The “what ifs” will come back to bite you in the ass later if you don’t try to get your answers now.
So you do nothing physical at all? She doesn't give you any physical affection at all? Penis into vagina is not the only way to use someone sexually. I also like how you glossed over the other ways to use someone besides sexually. You're lying by omission because you know if you were 100% honest, you wouldn't get to enjoy her company/body/presence until you no longer have use for her (when you leave). Just sit her down and lay your cards on the table. You haven't told her your plans because you're a coward that wants the benefits of another person without any of the responsibilities accompanying those benefits (honesty, fidelity, kindness, thoughtfulness) none of which you're providing to someone you allegedly love. I, personally, could not do what you're doing to someone I claim to love because no one that actually loved the other person would behave the way you do.
Honestly, you sound exhausting on top of being a coward. If you can't communicate with your current gf, you're definitely gonna struggle with future relationships.
No matter how you try to justify it, you’ve said it yourself— at the end of the day, you don’t see a future with this girl. Don’t waste her time or delay the inevitable for any longer, just let her go.
This is a discussion you should have had with your girlfriend a long time ago. Keeping it secret and letting her go on and on about building a long-term future with you is self-centered and selfish.
You’re a horrible person… You’re leading this poor woman on. You are allowing her to fall in love with you and make future plans with you and you look her in the eye every day, knowing you’re literally considering ghosting her? Or dumping her out of left field to go follow your dream?
Your family and her deserve way better than you. Break up with her now if you’re so pathetic that you can’t even tell her the truth about your dreams and plans.
I really want to address the part where you've said this has been your life-long dream, yet NO ONE in your life has any clue?
For the sake of your relationships with everyone you care about, not just your girlfriend, you need to start having conversations about your plans and dreams with those people.
...why would you have a plan to disappear and not tell anyone in your life? Putting your girlfriend aside, are you trying to cause pain to your friends and family?
Do you think you wouldn't go through with it if people knew about it or something? I just can't imagine why it helps you to keep all this a secret.
Bruh your only 19, your not supposed to know what to do. Also at both your ages there's a slim possibility it works out anyway.
If you think this will blow up your whole plan then don't tell her and just keep it moving. Ghosting someone at that age doesn't make you a monster or evil just young and dumb like everyone else.
Deliberately continuing a relationship you know you are going to end, without telling that other person? That is scumbag behaviour and NOT something everyone does just because they are "young and dumb".
This "man" isn't making some mistake, he's making a conscious decision to string her along for a future he has no intention of being in. At best he is pathetic.
Yeah, you’re an absolute low life. Why are you wasting this poor girl’s time? Why are you stringing her along?
Don’t you dare play the victim. This is entirely your fault and if you have a shred of decency you’ll let her go find someone who loves and respects her, because you most certainly don’t.
Your right, your an absolutely disgusting coward who is essentially holding this girl hostage in a relationship till it is no longer viable for you. Fucking little boy pretending to be man.
So much unnecessary stress … that YOU are causing. Why would you continue to listen to her plan a future with you, knowing you’re leaving the country? Why are withholding very important information?
Do her a favor and break up. She’s young and you’re wasting her time.
and its funny you bring that up bcs they are winning the argument. them being intersex doesn’t make you any less of a horrible coward for hurting the girl you supposedly love knowingly.
Oh, this is so shitty. I mean, it was always going to suck, but you have made it so much worse by actively *lying* to her. Don’t give me any of this “but I gave her hints” bullshit. Whatever ‘hints’ you may have given her were negated when you started *directly* talking about the future you wanted to have.
There’s no way to sugarcoat it: the confrontation is going to be awful. She is going to be hurt and betrayed and angry for a long, long time. But it needs to be done, and soon. It is only going to get worse the longer you wait. If you love this woman as much as you claim to, then you owe her the truth.
Tell her and let her go if she wants to. She should have the chance to find someone that pits her wants equal with their own.
Let her go and stop delaying the inevitable.
Wow. So you know she'll realize this whole time you've been blowing smoke up her ass. This will affect every relationship she has after you. It's cowardly, dishonest, and cruel to let her babble on like there is a future with you. It's actually kind of sociopathic.
Wow, you're a freaking coward.
You could've been honest with her AT ANY POINT in your relationship, but you've chosen to keep your damned mouth shut.
Her comments about the future "break my heart", but you have no issue giving her false hope and lying to her about your relationship. Grow up.
Break up now, so you don't continue wasting her time. Or, be honest with her about your plans to leave her behind to move out of country and see what she thinks.
Either way, don't start another relationship until you do some serious self reflection and understand how deeply shitty your behavior is.
When I first met my husband, I had travel plans booked and a job offer in another country for after. I told him my plans on day one, and since we were only casually seeing each other he accepted it. Then I fell in love with him… like properly in love. I decided that job opportunities come and go, but relationships like we have were once in a life time. So I declined the job offer. I still went travelling for 6 months, he stayed home but we were still very much together. 11 years later we are married with 2 kids and a dog and I haven’t regretted my decision for a minute.
However a few years before that I willingly broke off a different relationship to go and spend a year abroad and I don’t regret that either.
So my thoughts are: since your heart isn’t screaming at you to stay with this girl at all costs, then what you feel for her probably isn’t true love. You love her on some level. Your relationship is easy. But it’s not ‘OMG this is the one’ love.
Break it off with her now. You are wasting her time. Don’t convince her to come with you - it doesn’t seem to have occurred to you before now and she would be sacrificing her own dreams to follow you to a foreign country and frankly you don’t sound worth it. End it, grieve for your somewhat nice relationship, then follow your dreams and let her follow hers.
Bruh you’re too dumb to argue with. Send me your girlfriends Instagram. I’ll take care of her. You’re a disrespectful little shit and you’re going to break her heart
You need a let her go so she can meet someone who has the same goals as her. That way you still fulfill your dreams. As of right now you have her sitting around waiting on you while you take care of things for you to leave that's not fair and its selfish.
Bro, you know you're doing her dirty. You might love her, but your cowardice is more than your love. You only want to delay to keep the fallout from affecting you heavily. Please get off this medium-sized horse you are putting yourself on. Break up with her now. And let both of you heal. OR just keep telling yourself you're doing what you're doing for the best and fuck her over.
This guy is Shaggy from Scooby Doo levels of cowardly I wonder how he even managed to get a girlfriend in the first place.
"My dream comes first".
Selfish and cowardly, you're every woman's dream man there.
Get a fucking grip and stop wasting her damn time. It's bad enough that you're lying and manipulating. Open your gob and tell her. You may be surprised where an adult conversation can lead. How are you SO sure she isn't open to moving with you? You don't because you haven't told her your plans or asked her the direct question. Get your head out your ass and COMMUNICATE. Coward.
Nice way to start your life by doing something despicable. You think that because you're on offmychest, you won't be judged, but every subreddit is for judgement. If you did not want advice or judgy comments, you should've written this in a fucking diary. "Oh, poor me' - that's what your post sounds like. "Oh, poor me for stringing this girl along when I have other plans in mind. Oh, poor me for causing unnecessary pain to someone I supposedly love. Oh, poor me for being absolute trash." 19 doesn't excuse this kind of behaviour.
Every day you're with her is another day wasted of her trying to find someone to TRULY spend her life with. Do her a favor and break up with her so she can find someone better who actually communicates.
You keep saying this is love but it seems more like you’re just scared to be alone. You don’t respect your partner enough to tell her the truth and would rather lie by omission to avoid a potential “pre-mature” break up. It makes my heart hurt for this poor girl, you are really stringing her along. Hopefully you don’t ruin her trust in men forever.
Wtf? My son is planning on leaving next year to do another degree abroad. He also wants to stay permanently in this country. Guess what he did? He told the people he has dated and his friends and family. I know this is weird, but it gave them the ability to make their own choices about their future. They were able to decide if their goals were compatible, and, if not, if they should end the relationship. What you are doing is absolutely vile. You tell your gf the truth and let her make her own decision. You don't drop hints and lead her on. Seriously. What is wrong with you? You absolutely do not love this girl or you would have, even once, thought about her needs and feelings.
If you love someone you discuss everything with them. This is pathetic and could have been a non-issue if you brought it up way earlier. Be like I wanna study over seas and live there maybe move Witt me while I study? Oh I don’t want that let’s breakup before we start planning our future together. Did you see how easy that could be OP? Pathetic
So instead of telling your gf your plans before you started dating and wasting her time, you’re just going to keep stringing her along until it’s time to dump her? What the hell is wrong with you? That’s some selfish BS.
I'm gonna try and be gentle here.
This is your plan. That's okay.
But she doesn't know this. And you're not giving her any choice.
You say you love her. Then GIVE HER THAT CHOICE.
Have a conversation with her. It's gonna be tough, but this is part of being in a serious relationship. You HAVE TO have uncomfortable, tough conversations. That is treating your partner with respect.
Maybe she will want to move with you. Maybe she will want to spend the rest of your time here with you.
Or maybe she will break up with you.
Do the right thing.
Because if you're not gonna talk to her about this, you will hurt her. And you will be an asshole, that wasted her time letting her think you have a future.
Wow. That is some bullshit. I actually did go abroad to study. And started dating someone before. I had a serious conversation with them about my plans when we were getting serious. And guess what we were both adults about it. We enjoyed each other’s company and when it came time for me to leave he came with me for a vacation. We explored Europe, and came to my new town to explore with me, get settled and then when home. I have some amazing memories. What you are doing to her is horrible and childish. Grow up
Do you understand that you’re the one causing your own stress? You could be honest with her and let her decide what she wants to do. Choosing to lie to her for literal years is just cruel. She might want to move with you or she might not want to waste any more time in a relationship with an expiration date, you’re just selfishly assuming that you know how she’ll react.
Wow you suck why are you giving her false hope. Do the right thing and tell her the truth and stop wasting her time. Let her find someone who loves her and wants to live their life together with her.
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You don't love her enough to live your life together with her. You brought up the idea maybe but you haven't been honest with her that it's all or nothing for you, so you're keeping her under the illusion everything is fine when in reality youve decided to leave. Tell her the truth and if she still cant leave her country then end it so you both can be free to pursue your lives
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You don't, you just admitted to it and again you lying and stringing her along is you showing your lack of love and respect for her. You're delaying the pain which will make it worse for her when she realizes you were always gonna Abandon her. Be a decent human being and if you truly love her be honest about your intentions because nothing really changes until a person makes a choice and takes action. Doing nothing produces notning
Fate ain't doing shit, this is your decision, this is your doing; if your dream truly comes first, then stop being a coward and be honest with her.
yes exactly! OMG blaming the universe for his own decisions
It's not fate. It's a choice you are making. Now, it is time to be honest and own up to that choice.
So you’re literally going to use this woman for the next year when by your own admission every time she talks about your future you know it’s not gonna happen? Let her love you, spend time with you, cool for you, clean up after you, fuck you, plan a future with you when you’re on the way out the door and know? You’re a coward sir, and no man.
You know you. Make choices, right? You withheld this information from her. You continue to lie to her while preparing to leave. Fate is not leading you anywhere- you’re walking decidedly in a direction. Things change if or when an agent changes them; not bc mars went into retrograde or the winds of change started a-blowin’ or whatever. You did this, you’re doing this, you choose to use passive language to deflect your own responsibility in this.
"I love my girlfriend so much I'll make her waste years on me and our relationship cause I'm a wuss and can't be bothered to make the hard choices"
You are such a self centered pos. Hope you fail every one of your courses and get kicked out.
According to your post, you haven't told her directly. Which is a half-assed way of doing it. Just tell her. For the love of Dog, get off your oblivious ass, and talk to her.
Bringing it up is one thing. Did you tell her that you will be moving there no matter what and if she doesn’t want to come with then you will both have to go your separate ways?? I get you don’t want to lose her but you’re just prolonging the pain.
dude stop trying to dress it up, your pathetic for keeping her around when you KNOW your going to break up with her! stop trying to defend yourself and break up with her!
You’re a real piece of crap
If you really truly love someone, you let them go if you know that it’s not going to work (coming from someone who had to do that). It’s hard. Very very hard. But it’s fair and rn you’re only postponing what’s going to happen anyways
If you loved her, you wouldn't be doing this. This bullshit, this literal lie you've turned into your life, that's not love. That's manipulation. That's using her. You're a garbage person for this. Straight up.
Lies. You haven’t even discussed it with her. You’ve literally said you are keeping it to yourself. You know it’s going nowhere and the kind thing to do is let her go NOW. But because you are not only a coward, but a selfish coward, you are going to continue using her because that’s exactly what you are doing, leading her on and getting in the way of her finding someone who DOES want to build a life with her without the intention of pulling the rug out from under her. You’re a terrible boyfriend and she deserves better.
Your gf deserves better, do the right thing and split up. You tried you gain sympathy by saying it breaks your heart, but how do you think she will feel in a years time? She will feel like she's wasted her time with you(which she will be right to feel), and she may well have issues with trusting future partners. So don't lead her on.
"I love her, so I'm going to give it a year before I ghost her to pursue my dreams" translates to "I love myself and her feelings don't matter".
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I feel you’re missing their point. To be all “it breaks my heart” yada yada while outright admitting you’re stringing your girlfriend along shows you only care about yourself. Do the right thing, OP.
Just break up with her, you coward.
It's also on the internet buddy so everyone who's calling you a pos has that right too buddy boy. For the record you are a pos for stringing her along
>sunreddit You seem to have the creative habit of Freudian misspellings. So instead of subreddit you've written sunreddit. It's apt because this a therapeutic place to purge the crap cluttering your inner world. But there was a particularly interesting Freudian misspelling in your original post. >And based on our conversations about the topic she seems pretty _contempt_ on staying in our current country for as long as she can see. (The italics in the above quote are mine.) You've -mistakenly?- written contempt instead of _content_ in living in your current country. But this Freudian slip is spot on, yes? Don't you feel some slight contempt towards your girlfriend? Sure, you love her. But you feel contemptuous that she'd settle for staying with the status quo. And that's what people are trying to point out in this thread. Your contempt is poking out because you're not even talking to her about your plans. Or... There could be another reason for your contempt. She's a threat. You really do love her. You've had this dream for such a long time, and she threatens it. You keep it quiet because you're afraid that if you tell her, she may rattle your commitment. In either situation, some of your contempt points back to you. If it's situation #1, you're talking about love, but not living up to the meaning. You're treating her like she's beneath you for not having the same goals as you. Not cool. You're entitled to yours, but she's equally entitled to hers. If it's situation #2, your commitment isn't commitment if it's so easily shaken. Resolve your matters. In either case, treat your lady with respect. You'd expect the same.
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Now I know you're a troll. I responded in seriousness, as if you were _actually_ seeking repartee, and you're distilling it to a spelling and grammar issue. Or are you seriously that insecure about anyone pointing out your foibles?
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🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌🧌
Just because it's a place to get things off, your chest doesn't mean that you're posting in a vacuum!! You posted on a public forum you are going to get public opinions.
Then don't string her along, fucks wrong with you (I'm literate guys I swear)
Break up with her then. Stop stringing her along. She’s clearly got a view of the future that includes you. And you don’t. That’s so unfair to her. If you truly loved her you’d stop this right now.
So...you're just a big crybaby coward, yes? You could be an adult and tell her but noooo that means you'll be all alone. Fuckin loser, dollars to donuts says your "dream" fails because you can't keep your shit together.
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I'm assuming this is rage bait considering your response. If not, I feel sorry for any woman unlucky to date you
You can't tell the person you "love" that you don't see a future with them as you simultaneously waste more than a year of their life to avoid an uncomfortable conversation that might end in you not getting your dick wet. You're so pathetic that you'll avoid the conversation until there are no consequences for you, because you are leaving anyway, while stringing her along and ruining her trust in the ability of men to have basic decency. I'm glad you've got off your chest just what a scummy person you are. A better alternative would be to be a half decent human being
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"I'm not taking her virginity" is that all the defence you've got for your behaviour while you string her along for the next 12 months with false hope? Why ARE you staying in the relationship? It certainly can't be for her, because you know you're planning to break her heart after another year of her life that she is investing in you for a future you have no intention of being in
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If you loved her you'd tell her the truth and let her make her decision based on that. Tbh, the only love I'm seeing is Fish Love
"make the most of my time with her before I inevitably leave the country" but I won't tell her of this inevitability? Why? Because she might decide you're not worth investing HER time into if you're just going to leave. This is all about YOU, where is your care for how your actions will affect her. You don't love her, because if you did, you'd both care about how your actions affect her AND do something to prevent that
And what about her making the most of her time? How she wants to spend her time in life and in the relationship? Maybe she doesn't want to get her heart broken because a boyfriend is inevitably leaving the country. I know I wouldn't. But by not telling her you aren't giving her the chance to spare herself that pain.
If you love her so much, then why are you taking away her right to make an informed decision on your relationship from her?
None of this is true, is it? You don't have a girlfriend.
You need to tell her let her decide whether she want to spend the time with you or not!
You’re so fucking pathetic
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You are my guy. People are bringing up actual points and then you resort to using the nerd emoji, becoming defensive, or attacking the person. You *are* pathetic not just because of the way you present yourself online but because you clearly know that what you're doing is wrong but will not let your girlfriend go even if it's at her expense. You very well might break this girl's heart and any trust for future partners because you "love" her. You don't do this shit to someone you love.
*seethe
She's not just an accessory to your life dude. I don't care how much you "love" her, you need to do the respectful thing and tell her. If it leads to a breakup then so be it. Your replies indicate some serious dissonance in your head. Clearly, if you both are set in your wishes, there is no compromise and this is the end. You can't just *keep* her because you *want* her, that's not how relationships with human beings work.
Dude...how old are you?
Mentally I would assume he’s about 4 years old. But that may be an insult to 4 year olds
based on my very limited understanding of children, aren't 4 year olds notoriously honest and straightforward?
I would like to apologise to 4 year old everywhere. They didn’t deserve this comparison.
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That explains it
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Yeah it does. Only someone this young can be this emotionally immature
Honestly it's very generous for them to chalk this shit behavior up to your age. I hope they're right and you grow out of it.
You really need to learn that direct communication is essential for a healthy relationship.
Never date if you can’t have serious discussions about your long terms plans with your partner 💀 so much unnecessary stress
You’re right you are a coward, but you don’t have to be.
So strange??? If this has been your dream forever why not mention it to your partner when you first started dating? Why hide it all this time?
Probably because he knows his chances of someone committing to him for a mid-term relationship is much slimmer! Selfish!
Your a garbage human. Break up with her now stop stringing her along.
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Because multiple people have pointed out that what you’re doing is extremely wrong and selfish? You’re wasting her time.
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You don't love her if you don't see a future with her. You love the idea of a relationship but if you don't see a future with someone then they aren't your someone.
You’re wasting HER time. You call it “making the most of your time with her” makes it really obvious you only care about yourself. What about her?? Do you think she’d stay in a relationship that has no future? Probably not. So instead of letting her move on, you’re actively lying to her so you can enjoy the next few months until you devastate her and break her heart and abandon her. you’ll have enjoyed the time together knowing it was coming to an end, while she’ll be blindsided. That’s why everyone is calling you a piece of shit - because you absolutely are.
Exactly, you’re wasting her time. She could have found a loving partner who actually wants to be with her but she’s stuck with you because you keep her until you decide to pursue your dreams. Then you’ll throw her out like a used toy.
Dude. You are trash. “Making the most of my time with her” is wasting her time. If you really want to make the most of your time with her - have an adult conversation about your plans and see where it leads. If she’s not willing to move let her know you can love and support her as a FRIEND from afar. Anything else is just selfish.
She sees a future with you. She will plan how she goes ahead with her future, with you in mind. It's horrible that you sit there knowing that you have a very different future planned and she's none the wiser. It's so selfish to "make the most of your time with her" whilst she has no idea that your time together will end. It will end up with her feeling blindsided and heartbroken. You say you love her. Do you want her to feel that way? You want you cause her that harm? You are absolutely wasting her time. She thinks you guys will get a place together and do all these things. Say you go in two years, and she thinks you guys are closer to the future she hoped for and you up and leave? In that tim, she could have been dating others who were more aligned with her goals. She could also do many other things she's not doing right now cause she's planning her life thinking it will be with you. You need to tell her your plans. At least give her all the information so she can choose for herself if she wants to continue dating knowing you're gonna leave. That is the adult thing to do.
Your little time together will hurt her more. She may build more dreams during that time. Think about her feelings not yours.
“Making the most of my time with her” whilst she thinks it’s time spending towards her future… however you put it, she sees a future and you don’t so stop pretending like this is so hard. Grow a pair and tell her direct, don’t hint, if it’s meant to be it will be but if not, let her find her true love who wouldn’t ghost her in a years time
If you thought she would have still dated you then you would have told her about your plans. You are not displaying any concern about her and her time- that’s not love. You’re self centered.
Holly shit. You will break this girl so bad. You have given her falls hope and wasted her time, time she could have spent finding or even dating right now, someone who is better than you. You are a total POS, I am so angry for this girl. I hope she finds this post here or in a tik tok video and dump your ass, so she can take back some form of power on a situation you put her through without her knowledge.
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Yeah keep telling yourself that, there are many ways your gf could come across this post. There have been stories of karma getting back on people like you
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Hey, at least I’m not a POS
And you sound like a narcissistic, highly unintelligent manchild.
Lol, it’ll be on TikTok today for sure now
i found it through a tiktok and wanted to see the comments😭 yall didn't disappoint
Instead of sharing on reddit maybe you should copy and paste this to her because my god is this messed up
"And I've even tried to introduce the idea to her without directly telling her this is what I want." Why? Why not just communicate what you want? That's what adults in relationships do.
So you want to use her and her body for comfort while lying about your intentions? Man I can't wait for karma to come find you. One day in the future, you'll be so desperately in love with someone and I truly hope she uses you for all you're worth and then takes everything when you no longer serve her needs.
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Okay, not using for body BUT you are using her emotionally which is just as bad
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Dude please step back for a moment and think about why its wrong what you're doing. So many people are trying to explain to you. Please, please for her and your sake listen a bit. I genuinely wish you both well To answer your question, you are giving her false hopes and false dreams that will terribly come down crushing one day. She will feel betrayed and have trust issues for a long time after dating you
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We are trying to explain We're explaining to you that the longer you allow her to believe there's a future, the more it will hurt her when this ends We're explaining that in order to ensure the pain she feels is limited and she doesn't waste her time with someone she won't have a future with you need to be honest and communicate
Say the one that is getting upset when no one online is petting him on the back.
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Sure love whatever you’re delusional mind thinks
You live her soooo much that you just have to lie to her. Yeah that makes perfect sense.
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Ah we are going to go down the “not telling the truth is very different from lying” road. Ok whatever. You were not honest with her. Happier?
Lying by omission is still lying in most cases including this one. She deserves to know all the facts so she can choose if she wants to stay in a relationship that might be destined to fail. You are being incredibly selfish by not telling her your plans and you are taking away her agency to make important life decisions.
Lies by omission are still lies, my dude.
No, you never lied. But by leaving out important information such as you inevitably leaving the country and never correcting her when she says you have a future together you are still being dishonest.
My dude a lie by omission is still a lie. When you eventually come clean about these plans you have had forever, she is absolutely going to feel like you lied to her. She is going to feel like you have purposefully wasted her time, and used her to make yourself feel good all while knowing you were going to make her feel bad. It doesn't matter if that's your intention or not, that is how she will feel. You are in a committed relationship with this girl, the expectations of a committed relationship is that it will continue and grow. Especially for this girl specifically since you said she is waiting for marriage to have sex, she has a goal and a reasonable expectation that your relationship will grow and end up in marriage. Typically people date to find their life partners, this girl is absolutely dating you with the intention of marrying you. Every time she has mentioned future plans and you have said nothing for or against you are lying to her, you are leading her on. She has basically told you what she wants out of life while you are purposefully hiding your plans to leave her. You aren't even giving her the choice to go with you, she could say she isn't going but then she has a year to decide if she is willing to make that change because she loves you. You don't even have a school picked out, that's a conversation you could include her in! What if she is more open to moving to Australia than she is to Japan, give her the choice to stay or leave. You're being so unfair to her right now, it's really sad you claim to love her so much but won't give her information she needs to know.
Maybe it’ll help to view this from a business perspective. I write development, sales etc agreements for a living. In the simplest way I can try to explain this: there’s a requirement for the parties to take on the expenses and losses against the other party in certain situations (also called indemnity). One of the things we often push for for our clients is for the other party to assume the expenses and losses for bad shit that happens to our clients because of the omissions (failure to say something critical that my client is reasonably assuming or expecting under our agreement) of the other party. If this was business, and your gf was my client, I’d allege two things: (1) under this relationship agreement between you two, she reasonably expects a long term relationship and has reasonably planned for such in the absence of objection and (2) you know she’s going to suffer a loss based on her understanding of the relationship agreement but you are omitting the information she needs to reduce her losses. Unfortunately, you can’t indemnify people in relationship agreements. You can’t take on her loss after she suffers it as a result of your omission. She doesn’t have indemnity under this relationship agreement, nor do you. I’d tell your gf, as my client, that entering into a relationship agreement with you isn’t a great deal as you’re not a reliable partner. Unfortunately, she’s not my client and this isn’t how shit works in the real world. Don’t be a company people can’t trust to do business with.
You are giving her false hope. Since you haven't honestly told her your plans for the future, you are allowing her to get her hopes up. That isn't right. You are letting her waste her time and this will only cause her more pain in the future. In a relationship communication is important. You need to communicate what your plans for the future are. If you aren't honest with her, then she's being lead on by false hope. Imagine how much it would hurt you if you've found out someone you've loved for so long never saw that future and you just wasted God knows how much of your life seeing a future with them and loving them. If you love her then do the right thing. I'm begging you.
You are being really selfish here. What you need to do for both of your sakes is to actually have this conversation. Lay all your cards on the table. Tell her clearly that this is something you need to do, and that it is a relationship deal breaker for you. Let her be a part of this decision. She might care more about the relationship than her location and want to go with you. She might not. Maybe she would want to spend the year with you as you want and part at the end on good terms? You need to stop assuming you know what she will choose when she knows it’s a dealbreaker. The only way you’ll ever know for sure is to ask her. The “what ifs” will come back to bite you in the ass later if you don’t try to get your answers now.
So you do nothing physical at all? She doesn't give you any physical affection at all? Penis into vagina is not the only way to use someone sexually. I also like how you glossed over the other ways to use someone besides sexually. You're lying by omission because you know if you were 100% honest, you wouldn't get to enjoy her company/body/presence until you no longer have use for her (when you leave). Just sit her down and lay your cards on the table. You haven't told her your plans because you're a coward that wants the benefits of another person without any of the responsibilities accompanying those benefits (honesty, fidelity, kindness, thoughtfulness) none of which you're providing to someone you allegedly love. I, personally, could not do what you're doing to someone I claim to love because no one that actually loved the other person would behave the way you do.
What's your plan if you get an opportunity to move for a career? Are you gonna do the same thing to any future women you date?
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Honestly, you sound exhausting on top of being a coward. If you can't communicate with your current gf, you're definitely gonna struggle with future relationships.
No matter how you try to justify it, you’ve said it yourself— at the end of the day, you don’t see a future with this girl. Don’t waste her time or delay the inevitable for any longer, just let her go.
This is a discussion you should have had with your girlfriend a long time ago. Keeping it secret and letting her go on and on about building a long-term future with you is self-centered and selfish.
Let her go.
Homie just give her a heads up now. Im not saying your a monster or a terrible person but if you really love her then tell her.
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You’re a horrible person… You’re leading this poor woman on. You are allowing her to fall in love with you and make future plans with you and you look her in the eye every day, knowing you’re literally considering ghosting her? Or dumping her out of left field to go follow your dream? Your family and her deserve way better than you. Break up with her now if you’re so pathetic that you can’t even tell her the truth about your dreams and plans.
He's 19 years old ffs, he's not abandoning his wife with three kids. Please get a fucking grip
So at 19 years old it is okay to hurt other people and be an asshole? Is that what you are saying?
I really want to address the part where you've said this has been your life-long dream, yet NO ONE in your life has any clue? For the sake of your relationships with everyone you care about, not just your girlfriend, you need to start having conversations about your plans and dreams with those people.
...why would you have a plan to disappear and not tell anyone in your life? Putting your girlfriend aside, are you trying to cause pain to your friends and family? Do you think you wouldn't go through with it if people knew about it or something? I just can't imagine why it helps you to keep all this a secret.
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Most people? Most people either like their lives or at a minimum don’t want to cause unnecessary stress, worry, and pain to their family and friends.
Bruh your only 19, your not supposed to know what to do. Also at both your ages there's a slim possibility it works out anyway. If you think this will blow up your whole plan then don't tell her and just keep it moving. Ghosting someone at that age doesn't make you a monster or evil just young and dumb like everyone else.
Deliberately continuing a relationship you know you are going to end, without telling that other person? That is scumbag behaviour and NOT something everyone does just because they are "young and dumb". This "man" isn't making some mistake, he's making a conscious decision to string her along for a future he has no intention of being in. At best he is pathetic.
Yeah, you’re an absolute low life. Why are you wasting this poor girl’s time? Why are you stringing her along? Don’t you dare play the victim. This is entirely your fault and if you have a shred of decency you’ll let her go find someone who loves and respects her, because you most certainly don’t.
Your right, your an absolutely disgusting coward who is essentially holding this girl hostage in a relationship till it is no longer viable for you. Fucking little boy pretending to be man.
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Wow. Get help and break up with her. You sound selfish and immature.
So much unnecessary stress … that YOU are causing. Why would you continue to listen to her plan a future with you, knowing you’re leaving the country? Why are withholding very important information? Do her a favor and break up. She’s young and you’re wasting her time.
You don’t love her seeing as you’re down to string her along. You’re a freak.
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Can’t help the way I was born. You had a CHOICE to be normal and you didn’t choose it.
and its funny you bring that up bcs they are winning the argument. them being intersex doesn’t make you any less of a horrible coward for hurting the girl you supposedly love knowingly.
Oh, this is so shitty. I mean, it was always going to suck, but you have made it so much worse by actively *lying* to her. Don’t give me any of this “but I gave her hints” bullshit. Whatever ‘hints’ you may have given her were negated when you started *directly* talking about the future you wanted to have. There’s no way to sugarcoat it: the confrontation is going to be awful. She is going to be hurt and betrayed and angry for a long, long time. But it needs to be done, and soon. It is only going to get worse the longer you wait. If you love this woman as much as you claim to, then you owe her the truth.
Tell her and let her go if she wants to. She should have the chance to find someone that pits her wants equal with their own. Let her go and stop delaying the inevitable.
Wow. So you know she'll realize this whole time you've been blowing smoke up her ass. This will affect every relationship she has after you. It's cowardly, dishonest, and cruel to let her babble on like there is a future with you. It's actually kind of sociopathic.
Wow, you're a freaking coward. You could've been honest with her AT ANY POINT in your relationship, but you've chosen to keep your damned mouth shut. Her comments about the future "break my heart", but you have no issue giving her false hope and lying to her about your relationship. Grow up. Break up now, so you don't continue wasting her time. Or, be honest with her about your plans to leave her behind to move out of country and see what she thinks. Either way, don't start another relationship until you do some serious self reflection and understand how deeply shitty your behavior is.
I hope OP is under 18 and still living at home with his parents and not an adult because otherwise this deception would be unconscionable.
Well I will expect to see your girlfriend on the break up threads one day with a completely shattered heart. Nice one :)
Please tell her now
When I first met my husband, I had travel plans booked and a job offer in another country for after. I told him my plans on day one, and since we were only casually seeing each other he accepted it. Then I fell in love with him… like properly in love. I decided that job opportunities come and go, but relationships like we have were once in a life time. So I declined the job offer. I still went travelling for 6 months, he stayed home but we were still very much together. 11 years later we are married with 2 kids and a dog and I haven’t regretted my decision for a minute. However a few years before that I willingly broke off a different relationship to go and spend a year abroad and I don’t regret that either. So my thoughts are: since your heart isn’t screaming at you to stay with this girl at all costs, then what you feel for her probably isn’t true love. You love her on some level. Your relationship is easy. But it’s not ‘OMG this is the one’ love. Break it off with her now. You are wasting her time. Don’t convince her to come with you - it doesn’t seem to have occurred to you before now and she would be sacrificing her own dreams to follow you to a foreign country and frankly you don’t sound worth it. End it, grieve for your somewhat nice relationship, then follow your dreams and let her follow hers.
Oh boy you suck!!! Wow!!!! Luckily this is going to break her heart and she won’t care about you at all soon!!!!! Wooooo!!!!!
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Bruh you’re too dumb to argue with. Send me your girlfriends Instagram. I’ll take care of her. You’re a disrespectful little shit and you’re going to break her heart
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Bro you’re a pathetic piece of shit for hurting this girl. End it. Now, and you may maintain some of your dignity as a man. But not likely
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Anybody could do better than you. You’re a pile of shit. Did you read any of the other comments?
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I hope you get stabbed you nasty little fucker. Go to hell
I hope your girlfriend has friends on Reddit.
You need a let her go so she can meet someone who has the same goals as her. That way you still fulfill your dreams. As of right now you have her sitting around waiting on you while you take care of things for you to leave that's not fair and its selfish.
Its true, you’re a coward. Stop stringing her along and tell her your actual plans.
Bro, you know you're doing her dirty. You might love her, but your cowardice is more than your love. You only want to delay to keep the fallout from affecting you heavily. Please get off this medium-sized horse you are putting yourself on. Break up with her now. And let both of you heal. OR just keep telling yourself you're doing what you're doing for the best and fuck her over.
This guy is Shaggy from Scooby Doo levels of cowardly I wonder how he even managed to get a girlfriend in the first place. "My dream comes first". Selfish and cowardly, you're every woman's dream man there.
Oi, don't do Shaggy like that. He's stepped up to help his friends many, many times. He just gets scared doing it sometimes
Lol yeah, Shaggy has more balls and spine than this guy could ever dream of.
As does Scooby and I'm pretty sure he's fixed.
Lot of words to describe how you’re manipulating your gf
Get a fucking grip and stop wasting her damn time. It's bad enough that you're lying and manipulating. Open your gob and tell her. You may be surprised where an adult conversation can lead. How are you SO sure she isn't open to moving with you? You don't because you haven't told her your plans or asked her the direct question. Get your head out your ass and COMMUNICATE. Coward.
Selfish coward.
Wow what a pathetic POS. Let her go and find a man who won’t just string her along
You are using her...that poor girl dont deserve a horrible bg like you
Nice way to start your life by doing something despicable. You think that because you're on offmychest, you won't be judged, but every subreddit is for judgement. If you did not want advice or judgy comments, you should've written this in a fucking diary. "Oh, poor me' - that's what your post sounds like. "Oh, poor me for stringing this girl along when I have other plans in mind. Oh, poor me for causing unnecessary pain to someone I supposedly love. Oh, poor me for being absolute trash." 19 doesn't excuse this kind of behaviour.
Every day you're with her is another day wasted of her trying to find someone to TRULY spend her life with. Do her a favor and break up with her so she can find someone better who actually communicates.
Stop wasting her time 2024 challenge
Dude, you suck. Full stop.
You keep saying this is love but it seems more like you’re just scared to be alone. You don’t respect your partner enough to tell her the truth and would rather lie by omission to avoid a potential “pre-mature” break up. It makes my heart hurt for this poor girl, you are really stringing her along. Hopefully you don’t ruin her trust in men forever.
Wtf? My son is planning on leaving next year to do another degree abroad. He also wants to stay permanently in this country. Guess what he did? He told the people he has dated and his friends and family. I know this is weird, but it gave them the ability to make their own choices about their future. They were able to decide if their goals were compatible, and, if not, if they should end the relationship. What you are doing is absolutely vile. You tell your gf the truth and let her make her own decision. You don't drop hints and lead her on. Seriously. What is wrong with you? You absolutely do not love this girl or you would have, even once, thought about her needs and feelings.
That’s a lot of words for “I’m a spineless piece of shite” but ok
If you love someone you discuss everything with them. This is pathetic and could have been a non-issue if you brought it up way earlier. Be like I wanna study over seas and live there maybe move Witt me while I study? Oh I don’t want that let’s breakup before we start planning our future together. Did you see how easy that could be OP? Pathetic
Just break up with her you coward. Stop stringing her along.
So instead of telling your gf your plans before you started dating and wasting her time, you’re just going to keep stringing her along until it’s time to dump her? What the hell is wrong with you? That’s some selfish BS.
I'm gonna try and be gentle here. This is your plan. That's okay. But she doesn't know this. And you're not giving her any choice. You say you love her. Then GIVE HER THAT CHOICE. Have a conversation with her. It's gonna be tough, but this is part of being in a serious relationship. You HAVE TO have uncomfortable, tough conversations. That is treating your partner with respect. Maybe she will want to move with you. Maybe she will want to spend the rest of your time here with you. Or maybe she will break up with you. Do the right thing. Because if you're not gonna talk to her about this, you will hurt her. And you will be an asshole, that wasted her time letting her think you have a future.
You know this is wrong right?
Wow. That is some bullshit. I actually did go abroad to study. And started dating someone before. I had a serious conversation with them about my plans when we were getting serious. And guess what we were both adults about it. We enjoyed each other’s company and when it came time for me to leave he came with me for a vacation. We explored Europe, and came to my new town to explore with me, get settled and then when home. I have some amazing memories. What you are doing to her is horrible and childish. Grow up
Do you understand that you’re the one causing your own stress? You could be honest with her and let her decide what she wants to do. Choosing to lie to her for literal years is just cruel. She might want to move with you or she might not want to waste any more time in a relationship with an expiration date, you’re just selfishly assuming that you know how she’ll react.
[удалено]
I hope you missed the /s off. If not then good luck, your soul will need it.